


Devil Pray

by rsfahrudeen



Series: Song of Sabriel [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crack, Crossdressing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Epic Prank, Fake FBI, First Dates, Fix It Fic, Fluff and Angst, Ghost Possession, Girl Power, Human Gabriel, Human Michael, Human Raphael, Human!Lucifer, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Karaoke, Lucifer is a Little Shit, Major character death - Freeform, Malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Original Character Death(s), Satan is a hypocrite, Sisters, Slow Burn, Soulless OC, Surprise pregnancy, Theoretic Treatment, Transgender, Tricking the trickster, Twins, Unfortunate Implications, a huge shit really, because Luci just wont behave, destiel (established), female vessels, fun with pronouns, intensive therapy, overprotective big brothers, probation, sabriel (established), sitcom (sort of), the real problem with Nephilim, time loop (implied), very mild smut, wingcest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:50:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 71
Words: 279,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6839788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rsfahrudeen/pseuds/rsfahrudeen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justice isnt justice if it doesnt allow for and in fact encourage reform and reparation. After seeing the winchesters continually pull each other back from the edge, Gabriel is determined to do so for her brother Lucifer as well. </p><p>The archangels expend great effort to reform him, keeping him under their supervision as he's placed on probation in human form. But when things go wrong its up to Luci to save his siblings. Powerless, mortal and on the run from the humans who defeated him before, will he rescue them or revert to his old ways?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Another Manic Monday

**Author's Note:**

> Devil Pray by Madonna inspired the title. Check it out. Its a cool song.
> 
>  
> 
> .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel tries to manage a ressurected humanized Lucifer for the umpteenth time.

         Before this day Gabriel's never seen Lucifer look this frightened. Not that he never had been but he'd always been able to conceal it. Now he can't, which would be frightening enough, but he's more cut off from the host than he's ever been. Not only that but he's lost his wings, lost senses, and gained an unweildy hard to control vessel. Its almost as much a cage as the actual Cage, only much more and much less.  
       It's jarring to see and Gabriel almost feels guilty about it. Almost. It's not as if she doesn't have reason to be angry with her older brother. But she loves him, too, always has. Obviously or she wouldn't have even thought to attempt this in the first place.  
        "Who are you?" Is Luci's first question again. Its funny how Gabriel keeps forgetting that she's in a completely different vessel now, it even has a different gender and everything. And while the old one was tall for the time it was made, this one would never be anything but tiny. Plus Luci 2.0 doesnt have angel vision anymore. Or angel radio for that matter.

      "Whoops, sorry about that," she snaps her fingers and brings up a pair of multidimentional wavelength glasses directly on his nose. Lucifer's eyes widen even as his hands reach the frames. His emotions flutter past these windows to his lack-of-soul like a swarm of bats, and the clumsy attempt to use wings that are no longer there to move, send him tumbling off the stone table in uncharacteristic awkwardness.

      "What are you wearing?" He refuses to let Gabriel help him back up, though he's clearly disoriented. "What am I wearing?" He frowns as a hand to the chest encounters what are decidedly breasts covered by a white baptismal robe. But it doesn't hold his attention away from the long dead brother standing before him. "You... I killed you." Obviously the death didnt take, but it's almost sad to see how badly Lucifer's thrown. Each time it's almost painful for Gabriel to watch, maybe a little satisfying as well.

        "It's a long story," the least harmful response so far. "What do you remember?"

         "Hearing your voices, all of you. Your real one, not this... interesting one. But maybe also this one." Lucifer frowns glancing around for Michael and Raphael, but its best without them here. He looks both relieved and dissapointed at the same time. Its funny, the same expressions on a different face. None of it's as shocking as it was the first time he answered the question, but the initial whistful affection is still just as hopeful and touching. "You were talking to me about..."

       "The old days." Gabriel summarizes gently. 

       "Im not sure, all I know is that I was melting. I'm still melting I see." She puts a hand to her eyes, removing the glasses. "This vessel is wrong. It's decaying." The emptiness, solitude, and slow processes of entropy, and 'decaying' is still the only word he can put to it.

      "You aren't wrong, though aging is the word you're looking for." And not for the first time, or even the hundredth first time, Gabriel brings up a kercheif to catch the precious tears before they fall on the ground. "Any questions?"

      "There's nothing I want to know at this moment." Probably fair as he's still being bombarded by new stimuli. Its interfering with his emotional control and regulation, namely the hormones, hunger, puberty, and a growing awareness of his own powerlessness.

       "Alright. And well, I never thought I'd be saying this to you of all people, but fear not." Gabriel can't help but smile at the breif look of annoyance from his brother."You're not going back into the cage and I'm not here to enact vengeance or wrath or smiting or anything like that. The concept of justice has evolved since you were sentanced. Its less punative, more rehabilative, restorative. What's the point of justice if it's only partially just."

       "So which parts of my fate are you considering just?" He demands cooly. Ah there's the brother he knows and deeply resents.

        "Not alot honestly. Neccessary maybe, but that's not always the same thing. You got a raw deal from the start, which you then proceeded to shit all over and set on fire while dumping grenades and fire works onto the whole mess. You don't go out kicking  puppies because daddy's being mean. What you did to humanity wasn't justified, even if your feelings may have been." Gabriel won't leave it unsaid. She can't. It's worse hanging out there, ignored. Better not to let Lucifer thinks this whole thing means she's changed her mind.

   "I disagree." He begins gently.

    "Obviously or you wouldn't have done it. This isn't up for debate. It's not a trial and I'm not going to pretend I can out talk, out argue, or even out stubborn you. I'm not overturning your conviction. That's not even an option. What this is right here and now, is my telling you what's about to happen."

        "You think so, do you, little brother?" Lucifer draws himself up, but Gabriels long past being intimidated by height alone and finds the posturing almost amusing.

        "Yes, I do, because I'm still the Archangel of justice and I've removed your grace." She won't even pretend thats not the real reason she's not running for the hills right now.

        "What?" She can see the full realization of the situation dawn on her brother's face. The sense of empty wrongness she knows he's feeling, the lonliness of being so cut off. She felt it herself once. If Lucifer had thought he'd had every privilege stripped from him before, he's learning otherwise now. What will it be this time? Tears or rage? Does it matter? It always ends the same anyways.

       "Your vessel, is for all intents and purposes your body now. Your pretty little human body." Well, little comparatively to an angels true form, but thats neither important nor the part Lucifer focuses on.

        "WHAT?!" Definitely rage this time which is good, it usually gives them longer.

        "It's not forever. Nobody is. It's just for while you're on probation," she quickly breaks out her wings and flies up out if reach. Though Lucifer catches himself mid lunge and forces his arms down to his side, fists clenched. "You really don't want to hit me now anyway. It'll hurt like hell and you'd probably break some fingers." And a couple times almost the entire. hand, which is why she backs away now.

       "Oh, I think I do, you little shit. This isn't funny." His attempt at emotional control fails utterly this time. Even when he was murdering Gabriel, he didn't look this angry. Actually this look is usually reserved for Michael. It kind of feels like a twisted sort of compliment. At least it would if it wasn't just due to a basic hardware issue.

        "It's not a joke. But yes, it actually kind of is." Gabriel grins down at the human doing it's best not to glare quite so ferociously, for whatever reason. It's certainly not because he's any less pissed. Being human isn't like using one as a vessel. Navigating one without your grace is like trying to keep a boat in a harbor without an anchor. "No one is going to let you destroy humanity, or even just be in the position to cause widescale devestation with your angelic gifts."

        Saying 'I won't' or 'we won't' just made the conversation veer to their brothers. And since you can't separate Lucifer from his intelligence or innate charm for long, its better to keep the focus here this time. 

     "I am never going to put you back in the cage again, ever. And neither will you be left all alone. No matter what. I swear it." It doesn't do much when she says this, but it's always worse if she doesn't.

        "This is so much worse and you know it." Lucifer truly believes that too. "And why am I a woman? Why are you a woman for that matter? Though if I can say it without giving offense, I always thought the feminine suited you and Michael best." Of course the only thing offensive about that is that he thinks it would be. But pointing that out is never helpful.

        "I know right? I mean come on, I'm an angel of communication, does that sound masculine to you?" Gabriel laughs, "On some level everyone knows it too or they wouldn't make the correct pronunciation of my name a girls name. Of course, Michael thinks the whole gender issue absurd. As does Raphael, even though he agrees about us anyway. And like I said it's a long story. But since alot about being a woman sucks, I thought it only fair you get to experience that. You know, seeing as it's your fault." Oddly enough giving in to the frustrated utterance had the best results every time. And probably the first time Gabriel's even arguably won an argument with his big brother. Though ironically he'd probably lose the argument of it being a victory.

        "I fail to see how I'm responsible for misogyny. When I'm entirely about misanthropy, which is, in point of fact, equal opportunity hatred." Lucifer crosses his arms.

          "You approached Eve, not Adam. Thats why. And ever since it's been the excuse for millenia of blame and resentment and villification. That's not even mentioning Lillith. If you'd chosen Adam over Eve and misandry reigned in this thread, then I'd have made you a man."

          "So I'm to suffer how I've made humanity suffer? Is that it? I'd say that wasn't like you, but the last time we met you did try to kill me, so..." a clear attempt to change the subject that stopped pushing her buttons after the thirtieth time, and let her realize she won the argument after the fourty seventh. It just makes her feel tired, especially since he's technically correct. She did attack first. Regardless of why or what she did or did not expect to happen, it's the truth.

        "I did. I'm sorry, Luci. I made alot of bad decisions that hurt the ones I love and that was probably one of them. It's not always so easy to tell. I felt it was the best course of action at the time. I couldn't just stand by and let you hurt people I cared about. But the lesser of two evils is still an evil and if I'd made better decisions earlier than maybe I wouldn't have had to make that one. I failed you a long time ago, we all did, and I regret that more than you can ever know."

        The last few sentances just slip out, but hopefully it won't have a negative impact.

         "You were just a kid."Lucifer looks away. Gabriel's heart stops in her chest."I was never your responsibility, little one, you were ours." She forces herself to remember that, to remember those three heartfelt lines. Its almost forgiveness, and definitely not sullen silence.

         "Right. Was." Gabriel smiles, stretching out her hand. "Come on, I have a place set up for us. Its nice, a cute little cottage in the woods, fairly isolated. I even brought a few things down for you." The cottage always seemed to have the best effect. And Lucifer actually taking her hand is another good sign as well.

 

 

          


	2. I Hate Mondays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer has serious doubts about the reality of the situation.
> 
> Gabriel's surprised what a hypocrite he is, though not really.
> 
> Bits of personal history, including an explanation of the whole loki and the horse thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun with Pronouns.  
> Lucifer thinks of himself as a he, no matter the body, so his "brothers" do as well. Gabriel identifies as whichever vessel she's in, though she generally feels feminine is more accurate. Raphael also feels masculine is more appropriate to him, but really doesnt give a sh*t and just goes with what ever he's called.  
> Michael thinks the whole notion of gender is absurd, and uses the vessels' preference as default no matter what the physical indications. However all of his siblings feel that somehow female is more fitting, even if current ideas of femininity dont match up. (Even aunt Amara does once made aware of gender as indicated by her referring to Lucifer as the first son implying eldest Michael is the first daughter) He'll agree with whatever ends the pointless argument. Angels arguing about gender expression is after all like fish arguing which color basket they prefer on their bycicle. 
> 
> So if the pov is from one of the archangels, Lucifer will be referred to as he, even though he's currently a woman. Its not a typo just Luci being Luci which often means making things difficult for everybody.

The sensation of being moved instantly from place to place in his current state is different. It's a little disconcerting, nauseating and its hard to regain your sense of direction. When Lucifer's head clears he notices something almost achingly familiar about the room. He slides the glasses back onto his face, but its only some of the keep sakes on the shelves that confirm it. Its a miniature replication of his quarters in heaven.

          Most of the smaller trinkets are there, as none of the others would fit. Sea shells, pebbles, egg shells, flowers, leaves from the very first of creation. Each brought back to him by Gabriel when he was still stuck in the throne room, just before he was given dominion over the earth as it evolved. They're protected from decay by a sort of heavenly laminate that brings to mind an unfortunate prank of Raphael.

       One shelf has a woven crown of grasses from the garden. Raphael had made them for him and Michael before Gabriel was made. It was one of the first things Raphael did that didnt accidentally damage something. Even then he managed to crush one side of Lucifers in the process of placing it on his head.That's the only reason Lucifer kept it. Its not as if one stupid grass crown could make up for stealing Michael.

          There's even the fan made of his brothers lost feathers. Flame white, air gold , and mossy green. Its actually a bit embarassing to see as its a bit odd of a keepsake. Its closest equivalent would be making a necklace out of your brother's baby teeth. Except thats actually kind of creepy. This is just. Absurdly sentimental, like a quilt of baby clothes. Not that thats really that accurate either.

         Gabriel tended to get stuck places and lose hers, or hed be slow enough to catch but fast enough that theyd end up grabbing a wing instead of a limb. Raphael lost his to stress, one of the few ways he showed strain. Michael lost his in battle, with a few exceptions. The longer ones Lucifer himself had pulled out accidentally as a fledgling when admiring them. They're the only tokens from when it was just the two of them.

              There are none of his own ice crystal feathers anywhere. They'd just shatter and dissolve and return to him eventually, though it ached until they did. It took the fall to actualy damage them and then only because he was cast down onto the glaciers so the shards were lost among the snow and stayed frozen as long as it did. The impact was so great and they spread so far that he hadn't even gotten them all back when he was caged. But on his release, there they were waiting to rejoin him. 

         But now he's lost them entirely. Would they return with his grace? Its impossible to know and the ache at the thought is almost palpable. They rang like chimes when he moved, sometimes he'd let a bored Gabriel play the tertials as of they were. Once she was old enough to be careful. It was lovely to hear the songs of creation coming from his wings. Raphael once tore a few out, slicing his fingers and hand almost clean through in the process. Michael's touch would change them from ice to water to mist, soothing his worst feelings in the process. But even with his wings those days were long gone. Theres no reason for that ache deep inside of his chest. 

        The bed is new though. At least it looks like its supposed to be a bed. Its really a padded pillow covered trampoline with a comforter as white as his robe. That touch is pure Gabriel. It feels like the gift their father gave her when she was injured pre-delivering a message in ancient bablyon.  A soft place to lie as she recovered.They all ended up resting there after herding the leviathan into purgatory. It ushered in their best days. The happiness Michael reffered to. 

       It's as if the room was designed to either comfort or torture him and he's not sure which. An attempt to bring home he cant return to down to him, or a reminder of what hes been banished from. Cruel or kind? Either way painful and the littlest archangel herself is perched on the edge, looking both as if shes seen this a hundred times and never before. Her hopeful smile gives him his answer. Kindness, its a gift.

         "Thank you." If its truly Gabriel, if this is real, its owed. If not its just another item on the list of debts to extract from the architects hide. There's a door and windows. Two of each actually and one open doorway blocked with a rainbow of strung beads.

        "You're free to go anywhere you want. Do pretty much anything you want, though i wouldnt neccessarily reccomment doing just anything that pops into your head. You're mortal now and fairly helpless at the moment aside from basic blood sigils andyour silver tongue that is. So yes you absolutely can banish me to the four corners and ward the room if you feel like it. But i doubt you want a new prison, even if it is self made. Its easier for everyone just to ask me to leave." Its less like shes reading his mind than it is as if shes anticipating his thoughts wth eerie accuracy.

      "And would you?"Lucifer asks dryly. "Just go if I asked you to leave?"

      "Hells yeah. Of course then you'd be stuck with Raphael or Michael. Same if you banish me. Not that they wont have their turns. But I'm the one with experience as a human woman, which you'll need sometime next week, so i get first shift. Also banishment stings like a motherfucker so I wont exactly be eagerly racing back to your side if you do. I do have people who actually want me around. And when you get right down into it, would rather be around them, loved and mostly appreciated."

          "You think i dont love you?" Lucifer cant help but feel a bit hurt at the implication. "We've had our differences, but I am your brother," there's a sharp, not entirely undeserved look in Gabriels eyes as he says it and not even a ghost of a smile.

      "I think its been a long time since you really knew how to love anything at all." Is the cool reply.  

        "And you're an expert on loving I suppose." 

       "I'm learning." That soft whistful smile irritates the hell out of him. He remembers that smile and a certain prophet he tried unsuccessfully to get rid of. Of course their Father was more hands on in those days and his attempts to save his sister from degredation backfired horrifically, causung the very pain he tried to prevent. "And I love you, too. C'mon, have a seat, we have to discuss care and maintenance." She pats the trampoline. 

        "Must we?" Luci cant help but wrinkle his nose before realizing that being human means being human. "No..."

        "Yes,"Gabriel grins that smart alecky grin of hers.

       "Absoutely not. I will die first." Another look directed his way that he's unsure the meaning of. 

        "It's possible to do. But is that really how you want to go? Because im not engaging in a battle of wills with you. If you're truly determined to deny your own bodily functions until yoy die of a burst bladder or impacted bowels, Im not going to stop you. Though you might just end up unable to hold it in," Lucifer finds Gabriel's snicker almost as offensive as the horrifing comments themselves.

       "This is my new punishment. Beng subjected to the gross indignities of this corrupted decaying form."Lucifer grabs at her soft stomach. "You couldnt have at least gotten me a decent one?"

          "Your vessel is just fine, but there is a mirror if you care to look for yourself." Gabriel nods to the door nearest the beaded curtain. Luci opens it to find a full length mirror on the back. 

           The thing that immediately catches his attention are her eyes. They're a faded ice blue that come closer to her true ones than anything her limited senses can see. Another small kindness or sign of affection that peirces deep and demands either gratitude or vengeance.

         The hair seems oddly familiar, shoulder length, straight technically but shaped by the curve of her neck and skull. Its a rich multifaceted brown. In truth the entire facial structure is something familiar, faminine and oddly youthful, but still. Though actualy the nose and lips seem to be Gabriel's, if not the creamy golden hue of her philistine complexion. Siblings then? The colors of his skin are uneven and a little blotchy. Are those freckles? Just a few around the nose. She'll have to do something about those.

          "This is not a beautiful face."Lucifer frowns. "My nose is slughtly off center. Its very distracting. And my jaw is too large."

           "I dunno, i think its kind of young Geena Davis or Angelina Jolie, and your nose is fine, No one will be staring as closely and criticaly as you are. Besides if you think I'm letting you loose on the world with devestating physical beauty you need think again." Gabriel snorts. "But you're not unattractive. Not beautiful, not exactly pretty, but not malformed or any real flaws or defects. Its a perfectly healthy functional face. All its original parts. Plus they still work and everything."

        "You're beautiful." Lucifer accuses her, though much to his surprise it makes her blush a little and smile. He forgets the rest of his complaints.

          "I wasn't sure, honestly. I knew I could still pull off cute but beauty at the lower levels can be so subjective." She gets that smile again and fiddles with one of the short honey gold curls that encircle her head like a physical manifestation of her halo. His resentment of being physically outdone is crowded out by the urge to smite whoever dared to make her feel less than lovely. Oh lord, don't let this be another Daniel. Or another pagan god. Better a human favored of God than their heathen dreamings. How the hell could Michael have let any of that happen? 

          "If I have to confess, i actually like the way you look better. This vessel is ridiculously short."

           "It's very close to your divine messenger apparition."

           "I didn't know you'd seen it."

           "Its hard not to as it seems to be the default they use for any angel at all in any religious artwork I've ever seen." Lucifer shakes his head. "Besides I almost made it to you at the annunciation. You left just as I got there." Its hard to read her face.

             "This was a decendant of my old vessel. It's complicated and I don't really want to discuss it." 

              "Speaking of your old vessel, i ws wondering was he specially made for you or just one of many? How did you change vessels without revealing yourself? Or if no to either how did you keep him from falling apart like Nick?" While it's probably a sensitive subject, the questions have been bothering him for a long time. 

              "What, Sighurd? No, siggy was awesome but not exactly my true vessel but i didnt actually posses him long. And he wasnt entirely human, his parents were nephilim, though they called them a jotun. Made it alot more flexible. I kind of went in and split off a copy, like mitosis I guess, and tweaked it here and there, made a few wards on the bones. I had no idea it was going to work, either. But he was up for pretty much anything the crazy bastard. We played the twin game like crazy, we even made his parents forget he was an only child.  It was fantastic. I stop by  hel, single l, the one in neflheim, to see him every now and then. Poor guy died of alcohol poisoning."

            "And your current roommate doesnt bother you?"

             "Its just me in here. She kind of exhanged with me. Not my choice, it was a blood spell." Gabriel frown. "I have had to tweak it though once I got my grace back. Even bound and partially extracted, it was a tight fit. Raphael was able to help by then." She shrugs as if shes not talking about tailoring her own damn vessel. "I mean i was all duct tape and safety pins till the last thousand years or so, making it up as I went."

           "I wish i'd known any of that."

           "I bet. But I'd never have let you use my hard work to destroy the world." She tries for a casual shrug but fails.

            "Not the world, just the infestation."

            "Zip it." She draws two fingers across her lips and Lucifer finds himself unable to talk. "Not having this converstion, Luce. Now if you can remember that as well as the fact that I can do this, I won't have to."

            "You little shit..." he starts when she snaps his voice back.

            "So, do you remember how you died?" The obvious attempt to distract him from his justified indignation catches his attention.

            "What?" There's a cold chill in his spine and a sick feeling that wont go away. The thought that not only he died, but the implication that he was brought back is too troubling to think about, so he doesn't.

            "No then, what about possessing one of our younger brothers? Or Dean Winchester killing Death?" Okay, she's clearly not even trying now.

            "Gabriel..."he manages to tune down his annoyance.

            "Oh, what about dressing crowley as a goofy american tourist, chaining him like a dog in a kennel and playing angry birds on the throne of hell. Hell with two l's."

             "That's good, little sister, " he turns back to the mirror. " Move from the disturbing to the impossible to the disturbed but inspired. I'm sure I'll strt giving you the desired reaction soon enough. Maybe I'll even forget that gross act of impertinence just now. Or you can fix these gangly ears and consider yourself forgiven."

               "Your ears are fine." Gabriel rolls her eyes. lucifer turns back to the mirror and takes off his robe toget a better look at the rest of his new body. Hopefully that wont be as big a dissapointment as the face.

            "Where are my muscles?" 

            "Tastefully hidden under an appropriate layer of fat and skin. Your strength is concentrated hips down in this one. Not that it really matters."

            "Well, it certainly is alot tidier."

            "And oddly messier."Gabriel sighs. "I hope you like the breasts, i really tried to make them functional."

           "They will never be used for that function."

           "No, I mean, not so big you get heat rash or back problems but not so small you cant fit a phone in your bra like these things." She cups her own.  "Plus theyre nice and firm so if you want to go braless, which really you should, its better for your breasts, but when you dont have to worry about getting smacked if you go too fast."

          "You've gotten very peculiar, paseh." Luci looks back to his grinning sister.

           "I've always been peculiar, niisan."she retorts, "What I've gotten is experience."  Gabriel waggles her eyebrows and brings up an oddly shaped lollypop. Wait...

          "Excuse me, but what did you just put in your mouth?" The fact that this question amuses Gabriel just further gets under Lucifer's skin. Only this sibling can make him sound like Michael and they both know it.

            "Just a leftover favor from the bachelorette party."

           "No, That is not acceptable. What are you doing?" He strides over and yanks the offending confectionary out of his little sister's mouth and hurls it out the open window. "This is not funny."

          "It's hillarious." She sounds almost awed by it. "If only for the gross hypocracy." There's that shit eating grin again.

         "Hypocracy?"

         "Luci, everybody knows about Sabbat."

          "That's different. You are an angel." Pointed silence. "An archangel." Even more pointed, with crossed arms this times. "You're the mouth of God, Gabriel."

          "So I've been told," She winks, ignoring the fact that she knows very well he meant mouth piece. "You sound just like Michael. It's just a lollypop, a crafted construct of flavored, colored sugar. Thats all."

          "There's a reason our father forbade graven images." He tries again. 

           "The worship of them and yes, because they accidentally created all the little 'g' gods in the process. Luce, no matter how much i enjoy this peice of candy, it will not spontaneously turn into the real thing."

             "So long as thats all you..."a horrible thought enters his head. "You were male all that time, werent you?"

            "Mostly, though once i figured out more nuanced shape shifting, not so much." She shrugs. "Illusions are nice but they only work so well. Especially if your dealing with superhuman perception. That was something i had to deal with alot in the aesir."

           "Gabriel. Tell me that you did not actually have sex with and give birth to a horse!" He grabs her arms as if to shake the possible degredation out of her. Angels do not, should not submit to such defiling things. And she thinks its funny. How could Michael let things come to that?

         "Calm down, Luci, that all just an elaborate prank. I switched with a realistic decoy as soon as we were out of sight. Like I couldnt out run a damn horse, seriously. But when i was headed back, i overheard my darling adopted family making wagers on that very fact. Allfather bet it wouldn't and i hated to dissapoint him but the idea of my coming back with a foal as proof other wise was too hillarious.

       "So I tried the splitting thing again and kind of seriously screwed that up, though i have no idea how. Long story short, no bestiality but i did accidentally conceive and give birth to an eight legged foal. So there's that."

        "Is that how you got the other three things?"

         "By things you mean my other children?" Gabriel says cooly. "The woman i loved gave birth to them."

        "There was not a speck of your grace in them. I don't believe they were yours." 

          "You could tell that much yet felt the need to ask about sleipnir?"

         Its clearly the sore spot Lucifer expected it to be, but it occurs to him belatedly that being human and pissing off a fully powered archangel isn't a good idea. Especially in regards to an adopted family he died trying to protect. And he was the person who killed her after all.  Its unlikely pointing out that he decided not to murder the rest of them during Gabriel's funeral rites would win him any brownie points. After all, if they had bourne any speck of grace, Gabriel's or otherwise he would have slaughtered them on the spot as the abominations they were. Oddly enough, he no longer even has the desire to.

        "No angel ever bred with an animal. There was no frame of reference." lucifer turns his thoughts to something less troubling.

         "They are my children, in every way that matters. In a completely unrelated matter, I've forgiven you for killing our beloved Baldur, and hold no grudges." Gabriel leans forwards to give him a kiss on the forhead. "Now let go of my arms, please."

        Lucifer lets go with barely a tilt of the head, as if he'd forgotten he had hold of her arms and the request had simply reminded him he still was. He's certainly not complying with a demand. He turns back to the mirror, twisting to try and see his back.

       "I have no behind. At all. And why are there dark patches and white spots in such a large area on my lower back?" Because if he just pretends they never had that entire conversation, they didnt.

            "Raph and I were fighting... what only you and Michael are allowed to fight?" She comments at his disapproving look. "Arguing over skin tone. I'd have let him just have his way, but i wanted you to have your eyes and we couldnt mess with the basic patterns of genetics too much. Plus we were trying not to deviate from the original blue print too much. Michael suggesteda compromise of severe vetiligo because, well, Michael." They both roll their eyes at this. "But that was at cross purposes of my other point of giving you a fairly ordinary appearance.  So lots of arguing that ended up with a light sketch of the pre dawn sky June 3rd, 2017 centered around venus done on your lower back with various birthmarks, and the ability to get a reasonably dark tan."

         This smile breaks out Gabriel's dimples, but doesnt make anything she said make more sense. Lucifer just looks at her a moment before dismissing the question of why Raphael of all angles would feel so invested in the issue. He instead focuses on the matter of having this particular panorama on his back.

        "Are you sure you wouldnt have rather just written my name across my shoulders in freckles? It would have been easier." He comments dryly, though in truth he cant help but love it.  He cant even see it that well, though, and dad forbid he encourage the usurper in making any claim on him, but he does.

        "Trust me, no ones going to notice. You could walk out in a satan belly shirt, fake horns and a tail and noone would make the connection." She brings up another, less obscene lollypop this time. This one's tooth shaped? She doesn't appear to like it though and takes it out as soon as she tastes it, scowling at the offending candy. "Oh, thats it, baby brother. Its kitten time." She snaps her finger, though nothing happens. "Just in case you ever feel like messing with my stash, know you can be turned into something less dignified than a human being."

        "Did... what?" Lucifer frowns. Did someone actually attempt to prank Gabriel? And one of the lesser angels? He cant think of a single one who'd have the nerve. Granted he's not overly familiar with the rank and file. But while the most shocking, its not the most important thing. "So Raphael's still alice, and Michaels out of the cage. I hope he and Adam are very happy together."

           "You know damn well he wouldn't have had to spend every last moment protecting Adam if you hadnt been so determined to destroy the poor kid." Gabriel shoots back., pointedly annoyed. "You'll need to eat soon so I'm going to go into the kitchen and start cooking something."

           "By cooking you mean physically, manually prepare food?"

            "Yes. Its fun. It turns out a little different each time and I need something to do besides just sit here and look at you while you talk."the offhanded comment is surprisingly hurtful as it reminds Lucifer there was once a time that wasnt true. "Plus its something you'll have to learn to do as human. Unless of course you want to eat nothing but processed food, and take out. Which you are of course free to do if you don't mind cancer, obesity, health problems and spending way too much money. But for now baby steps. You have clothes in the closet. I kept to the basics."

         And apparently the basics are jeans, a white tshirt, pink boy breifs with the word 'angel' written on it in red cursive with little black horns and a tail on either side. There's a matching pink sports bra. It's a remarkably similar shade of pink to the last prank Gabriel ever dared play on him.

          "Cute." He comments to let her know he noticed. There's a laugh from the kitchen. Gabriels laugh. When was the last time he'd even heard it. Why does it even sound remotely the same to him? The sounds of a vessel are nothing like the voice of an angel.

          It's not real, any of it. It cant be. This isn't how thing should go or ever have gone. It's just a new form of toture, a new pain. One worse than eternal isolation ir a thousand year seige trying desertely to reclaim what was his. The illusion of an old companionship. But the Gabriel who entertained him in the throne room had adored him, looked up to him, cared about his opinions and approval.  

       Gabriel now obviously wouldnt, but this apparition is too kind, too affectionate, irreverant as the teasing is its clearly affectionate. She always was one for pulling pigtails. Hell, she invented the sport. The Gabriel he saw last hated her brother, all of them in fact. She was rude, angry, bitter, hurt, corrupted. She was suffering to the point where death was a mercy. At least thats what he told himself as he was forcing the blade into Gabriel's body. 

        If this was really Gabriel there could be no love or hints of forgiveness. Not to him. What Michael said in the cage was right. When he killed their sibling, he was clearly beyond all slavation.

          How many times had Gabriel tried to pull him from the path that led to his downfall. Misguided though she was, she tried. Lucifer didnt. Yes she attacked him, but he cant believe she ever really thought she had a chance. It was clearly an act of pain and desperation. And in that moment, when he caught her hand, had her completely at his mercy, what did he do? A million things he could have done and he chose to end her life instead of any of them. 

          There's no possible way Gabriel would come back and prepare his meal like a servant. For some reason, its become hard for Lucifer to breathe. He leans against the mirror and just concentrates on his breath.

         "..of knowing what you'll like so I'm making things your genetic donor enjoy eating." The phrase distracts him from the breif lapse of time. Genetic donors.

          "You mean my 'parents'?" He cant help but tease right back.

         "No, not parents, the man and woman we took peices from to combine in making you." Gabriel's back is to him as he passes through the beaded curtain into an empty living room. Another point against reality. You dont turn your back to your murderer. Or course, hes human now and so insignificantly nothing that theres no point in even pretending he's a threat. He pushes the thought down as far as he can.

        "Isn't that the definition of parents?" 

        "N...oh, shit." And there it is, that look reflected on the window. The one Gabriel gets when she's realizing one of her plans had taken an unexpected turn, like when the stuff she'd dumped on Raphaels wings that time actually completely hardened instead of being a sticky mess. It's a rare sight and unlikely anyone outside the four of them has ever really seen it.

        If this isnt real, then its likely drawn from his own mind. One he wants to believe. A Gabriel he wants to see and speak to so desperately he conjures up this chaotic mess. What could he want to say so badly.

         "I'm sorry." The words escape him so painfully he cant say anymore.

         "Ah, Breiddjame!" The confusing perjorative is accompanied by a few flashes of bright light as Gabriel starts to turn. Lucifer quickly registers itas exposed grace, but Gabriel snatches her hand away from the cutting board and frowns at deep cuts in her palm and fingers where it appears she accidentally grabbed the wrong end of...

           "Are you slicing cheese with your actual blade?" the sheer outrageousness of the thought makes him gape. "Have you lost your mind?" 

          "Its always sharp." Gabriel nonsensically defends herself and flexes her fingers. "Besides i was kind of taken by surprise."

          "Yes, truly the motionless knife is the stealthiest of all."

          "I was distracted," Gabriel clarifies darkly. If its an invitation to repeat himself, the girl will be dissapointed.

           "Even a fledgling knows better than to grab their weapon blade first, even distracted. Something is wrong here." Lucifer can't keep playing along anymore. Enough is enough.

            "It's been a long day." Gabriel clenches her fists, stretching them bith out again. She looks as if she's in pain and real or not she shouldn't be. "I'm tired and I keep making mistakes and I can't spend the rest of my life having my heart shredded over and over again. If you're going to do it just do it. I can't stop you. I never could."

         Much to Lucifer's surprise the hilt of the archangel blade is pressed into his hand. Once again Gabriel has thrown his world into chaos and confusion. Just do it? Do what? Kill her? With her own blade? No. No, he wont make that mistake again. The thought just infuriates him.

         As if he would have ever even considered it if she hadnt turned on him then. She didn't give him a choice. Not really. The only weapon involved was Gabriel's. He never drew on her, never. How could anyone, either a shadowy mastermind or Gabriel herself, think he would cut her down as she just stands before him in silent tears? And she just handed him her weapon.

          The very feel of it repulses him and he lets it fall from his hand without a thought. The cottage feels suffocatingly oppressive all of a sudden and. He barely manages to keep himself from running out the door.

        For a moment he's not sure it'll open but it does. Whats more theres an actual outside to step into. And then theres the sun. When he steps into the light its warm. For the first time in so long he feels warm.

            There was fire in the cage of course, with Michael there. But extreme heat is almost identical to bitter cold. In the end they burn just the same. Before that theres the memory of his siblings voices, melting him from within. But it wasnt true warmth, just the change from frozen to freezing to cold. Then just now to neither warm nor cold, though just plain not cold was jarring enough.

      Warmth was a long time ago. Last felt breifly in a siblings embrace as they look up at the newly formed stars. Or in the excited tug of his hand for him to come look at the this new creature. The gentle touch of hands soothing an injury.

        None of that was this all encompassing warmth, though. This is something he hasnt felt since before the dawn of time when the earth was nothing more than an incomplete pencil sketch hiding a prison for the  darkness, just in case it was needed.

       Its beyond cruel and cant be real. If the sun gave humans such warmth why would they ever wear clothing or go indoors. Besides only feeling it on one side is endlessly frustrating.

          It doesnt matter. This wont break him. It wont. The cage didnt break him. being cast from heaven didnt break him. And whenever he escapses this and finds whoever thought to torture him with his dead sibling, they'll learn what torment really means.

     

 

          

  

             

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Concerning Lucifers reaction to Gabriel's exploits. 
> 
> To Lucifer sex is not about pleasure. Its about power, domination, degredation, humiliation. What he's freaking out about is the idea of Gabriel being on what he considers the wrong side of these acts. 
> 
> Gabriel's aware of this. I dont think she's as over the whole being murdered thing as she likes to think she is. Do you?
> 
> Sleipnir: as to how Gabriel managed to accidentaly impregnate her horsey self instead of making a copy, lets just say she gets her sense of humor from her Father and leave it at that.


	3. My Brothers Keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each of Lucifers siblings has a slightly different approach to monitoring him.
> 
> Gabriel's forced to go home and take a little R&R.
> 
> Raphael does not give a fuck and absolutely refuses to deal with Lucifers crap. But his little sister needs him so he's stuck.
> 
> Michael has a more hands on approach and is a better choice to deal with the police..
> 
> Luci's first interactions with humanity do involve bloodshed but no one dies so thats a plus.

          It's not long before Lucifer's new body starts making demands and he's forced to return to the house to ask about them. When he nears the door he hears Gabriel speaking softly on the phone.

         "Lets just say I now hate mondays more than you ever did tuesday.... no, this one is difficult... um, its not important... nothing i just needed to hear your voice thats all... oh shut up."An amused but irritated chuckle. "If she makes it until morning I'll get one of the others to step in for a few hours. If not I'm going to need to wreck something so put the breakables away.... no, I'm okay, really. Oh. That reminds me, tell your brother to leave the glove compartment alone, and tell mine it serves him right for putting that toxic waste in there. I'll turn him back when I'm done here. Unless he feels like asking Raphael." Gabriel says slyly. "Oh, whoops, gotta go. Olive juice, toots." The phone is snapped away as lucifer enters the cottage.

        "What do you mean if I make it until morning? And who were you talking to?" He demands, for some reason not quite sure which question is more important to have answered.

          "That? Just one of my many partners in crime. I do have a life outside this room, one I wish to return to at some point."

          "Then go. Or is this whole thing your punishment as well as mine." He snaps in return.

          "I'm just tired of you killing yourself. Every time. I do or say something wrong it... tips the scales somehow and you attempt to just destroy yourself. It never changes and I don't know what to do about it!" She's almost yelling, the strain barely contained.

           "What?" A million thoughts flood his mind, not the least being that she had actually been telling him to kill himself and not her. But still thats not what her eyes were saying when handing him the one kind of weapon that could kill her. This....is this actually...."No. This isnt real. Why would you care if I died, however i die. I killed you. Brought back or not I murdered you. My death could never upset you like this."

         "Did you ever think that maybe you don't exactly know me as well as you used to? And that maybe, somehow I could forgive you and try to move past what you've done?" Though she sounds far too pissed to take mentions of forgiveness seriously.

           "No of course not, how could you? Why would you?" He dismisses it without a thought.

          "Because you're my brother and I love you?" Lucifer's silent for a moment before he can bring himself to respond.

         "If I recall the last time you said something like that to me you also called me a great big bag of dicks." He says dryly.

         "They're not mutually exclusive declarations and I stand by them both." She looks her brother firmly in the eye, challenging him to make the point that he, her murderer, could not be reasonably called a dick. Obviously he cant, not with her being the way she is right now.

          "This is how you speak to someone you think is suicidal?" He calmly chides her instead.

           "It doesnt matter how I speak to you! Or what we do, where we go, who we're with. Why? Because you hate mankind more than you love your own life? While you made it more than clear that you hate them more than you ever loved any of us, I find it hard to believe you place anything above your own self intrest."

         Lucifer bites his tongue as its better to wait until this whirlwind burst of temper runs its course before taking her down. That and her loss of control is similarly affecting the weather outside.

          "I keep telling you its only temporary." She continues. "I know from experience that its not that hard to bear. Is it me? I know its not guilt because your head is shoved way to far up your ass for that to be the case. You're not in pain. I've done everything i can think of and it's just not enough!" She finally stops ranting and glares angrily at him, waiting for a response. Lucifer just waits for the winds outside to die down.

          "Are you done now?" He asks cooly.

          "Yes. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go watch a movie, and eat an entire triple chocolate cake in the theater." She snaps her fingers bringng up an additional darker room with a velvet curtain instead of a door.

            "Do you think you can spew that offensive nonsense and then just walk away from me?" He challenges, stepping in front of her as she starts to walk towards it.

            "Yes. You are of course free to suck it up and join me in watching the movies. We'll be playing the Penguins of Madagascar, Cars, then either Saw or Sex in the City. I haven't decided."

            "I thought penguins are indiginous to antarctica." Is the response that comes out.

            "Actually maybe we should just watch the whole Madagascar series. You should go to the bathroom first. And i swear to all that is holy if thats the reason I will ressurect you with a full bladder and bind you until you wet yourself."

          "You listen to me, you little..." He starts, finally having enough of her disrespectful impertinent little tantrums. 

           "Gabriel." Another surprise. Raphael appears also wearing a woman. One of the darker ones he prefers, too. A good look on him, not that Lucifer will ever admit it.  Of course, Raphael immediately, pointedly ignores his older brother, but not before silencing him. He'll definitely be remembering this when he gets back his grace.

           "Raph, hey." Gabriel looks a bit embarrassed. 

           "What day is it?" The oddest thing to ask.

           "Monday." Is the sheepish reply.

          "Of how many?" She places a hand on her younger siblings shoulder.

          "Three hundred and seventy six." Gabriel sighs. "I'm getting a little tired. Who tattled?"

           "Who do you think? He took advantage of a loophole. All of us agreed that a glitter bomb in the glove compartment was a clear indication of suicidal ideation." Raphael give a twitch of a smile.

           "Ah. Even our little kittycas?" Gabriel gives a mischeivous grin. Raphael actually laughs and nods.

           "Go. I'll take your place and 'the boss'.." Raphael sounds so irritated at saying that. "Has given you this tuesday off."

           "I think I might be too tired to go. That last one really took it out of me." 

           "Do you wish to sleep?" Another odd question. Angels don't sleep. Why should they want to? Especially an archangel.

          "Yes, just send me back home maybe give me a lift to heaven on wednesday? That or change my other potential ride back."

           "I already did." There's not even a chance at a fare well before Gabriel is gone. 

           "We are not going to speak with each other." Raphael announces, not turning to look at him. "You are free to do what you wish so long as no one dies as a result. I'll be watching." And she steps into the veil. That at least is consistant with the Raphael he knew.  And a glitter bomb certainly does sound like Gabriel. Who is she tormenting now?

          "Even if I'm asking about Gabriel?" He finds he has his voice back with the question.

          "Especially then."

          "Whats wrong with our little brother, Raphael? I have the right to know."

           "Sister and no you don't. You lost that right when you stabbed her in the heart." Apparently even if Gabriel claims forgiveness, Raphael makes no pretense. "But to answer your question of whats wrong, you are."

            Clearly Raphael is determined to be an unhelpful dick. Which is the most realistic part of all of this. If it isnt then how far does the illusion stretch?  If he can really do anything go anywhere is everything copied?  Or will it just extend to the forest? 

             There's always a way out of any illusion. It's just a matter of finding it. Lucifer checks all the closets and drawers, but all that's there are a purse and wallet with paper money, cards and an I.D for Lucy Satine Pivensie. It's some sort of joke obviously. If there's money there's somewhere to spend it nearby.  There's also a map, which is more complex than those he's seen before but is still a minimalist representation if the complex beauty of nature. Maybe useful, though.

        There's a lake. It's probably filthy and polluted like most of their former paradise. A river which leads to a town much more directly than the road does. Much less of a chance of encountering humans on the way. If Raphael is still present, he says nothing of his brother leaving the cottage or walking into the woods. He also does absolutely nothing when Lucifer tears his clothing and skin on branches.

        He doesnt so much as guve a warning when Lucifer attempts to step over some roots and slips in a concealed mud patch, twisting his ankle. Neither does Raphael keep him from falling into a leech filled bend in the river. Though he doubts Raphael is laughing outright as Gabriel certainly would be, the thought of him smirking or silently passing judgment on Lucifer's ability to navigate the terrain, isnt much better. So when a sharp jag of bark slices open his ridiculously fragile vessel, he uses the blood to make a banishing sigil that works whatever plain the angel is in, and uses a few red berries to ink some words onto his stomach.

           By the time he reaches the town, he's cold, and weary as he hasn't felt since before the end of creation when he turned most of the earth's waters to ice while herding the leviathan tothe  portal. With such weakness and fragility even a thin metal fence is enough to stop him. At least temporarily. There are bushes and brambles on either side of him and metal wires with thorns circling the top of the fence. But by one of the brambles is a gap in the thorns up top. He is basically an ape, so climbing it shouldn't be a problem.

           His sprained ankle argues insistantly the entire time and when he tries to climb down the other side it just gives out entirely.

           "Hey!" Someone calls running over as he lifts himself up off the concrete. A layer of skin is scraped off both his left leg and left arm due to the awkward way he fell. "Are you okay?" The man attemps to help Lucifer sit up but he shoves him away. Given the heel of her left palm is also scraped, it hurts to do so. 

         "I'm fine. Is this Sunvale?" He asks managing to get in a sitting position. 

          "This is the Sunvale police station, miss. Have you been assaulted?" Right, thats the uniform and numerous cars to the right have those lights on top. "Do you remember your attacker?"

            "Why? Do you plan on arresting the wilderness?" 

              "What's your name?" The officer seems to decide not to worry too much about her injuries. With that much sass she cant be hurt too badly.

              "Lucy." She gives the shortened version of her name as its on the I.D.

              "Is that short for Lucille? Lucinda?" He insists on shining a flashlight into her eyes for some reason.

              "No, its short for Lucifer."

             "Listen, little miss mouthy, you're trespassing on police property so I'd be a little more respectful if I were you. Now, clearly you've had a rough night and you seem a little banged up so I'm going to let it go. But I can't help you unless you let me."

             "I don't need your help. I certainly didn't ask for it."

             "Yeah, you look like you're doing just fine, kid. Do you have any sort of Identification?"

             "Yes." This short, unhelpful answer causes the officer to take a deep breath before continuing. 

             "Can I see it?"

             "No. It's in my purse." 

             "Where's your purse?" Officer query shines the flashlight over near the fence.

             "Probably the river."

             "Who's your emergency contact? What's their phone number?" The officer takes out his phone. 

              "I don't have an emergency contact and I don't know any phone numbers." Lucifer replies then winces as he hears the flutter of wings. Raphael's back aparently.

               "Excuse me." Not Raphael. The statement takes the officer by surprise, and he turns almost drawing his gun as he does so. "Thank you for finding my sister. She got lost in the woods. We've been searching for her all night." He knows its Michael, but it takes a moment to place his vessel.

                "I almost didn't recognize you wearing Winchester classic." Lucifer smirks. Obviously Adam's not quite as ready and willing anymore. Michael just gives him a dissapproving look for using enochian and kneels down before them to assess his injuries.

               "She's pretty banged up. We have a first aid kit in the station if you can get her inside. We can see about an ambulance if she needs to go to the hospital."

               "It looks worse than it is." Michael touches her ankle and makes.l it actually not as bad as it looks. But the ankle is the only thing he heals. "Our other sister, Gabrielle Singer, bought the cottage in the glen. If she's not in any trouble I'd like to take Lucy home."

             "She's not. Do you need me to escort you to your car? I didn't hear you pull up."

              "We're on foot." 

              "What? No you two are not walking back all that way. I'll give you a lift home. I was headed out that way anyways. You can just hop in the back of my cruiser."

              "I'd be very grateful." Michael offers his hand to Lucifer but is ignored just as the officer was. Lucifer doesnt miss the sympathetic look the man gives his brother.

             "Oh, and tell Mrs. Singer we got Rebel Heart for karaoke night so no more excuses."

              "I will. Lucy, would you prefer to walk back?" Lucifer is too tired to delude himself into claiming otherwise and just shakes his head. Though most of the less obvious injuries are gone, he hurts and wants to keep sitting. 

           A car. Slow, confining. Though compared to walking its probably fairly fast. What took Lucifer all night to travel by foot, takes less than an hour in the car. What's more the vibrations and low rumbling sounds it makes feel oddly soothing and after a few minutes he closed his eyes despite himself.

           When an odd flash of light startles him back awake, he's less than pleased to find himself resting against Michael's shoulder. Whats worse is the jacket draped over him to and the fact he's holding onto his brother's arm. Obviously he's just drawn to Michaels extreme warmth but its one more thing to add to the list of the extreme indignitues of being human. His growling stomach adds another, especially as its heard by the human at the wheel. 

            "Thank you." Michael reaches up and takes an offerred muffin through what seems like a rather significant hole in the barrier between the front and the back. Lucifer's fairly sure its not supposed to be there. "I believe its blueberry." His brother offers it to him. The fact he thinks Lucifer would even consider taking it is beyond comprehension.

        "Alright. Here we are. It's something like this happens again, get a hold of me right away. She might not be so lucky the next time she gets lost in the woods." Aside from being spoken about as if shes not present, his assumption is just too much to keep quiet about.

           "I knew exactly where I was and where I was going. Just because no one else did, doesnt mean I was lost."

           "Well you picked a hell of a way to get there, girlie. And if you fall in the river in the wrong place at the wrong time of year you won't get out again so easily." He wouldn't be so condescending surrounded by hellfire in a pit of agony. "My sister's scout troop will be going after their teaching badges next. If you like you can come and get a little crash course in wilderness survival next week."

           "You'll have to arrange that with Gabrielle."Michael actually sounds amused.

           "Its not going to happen."

           "Better not then." He still sounds amused. The police officer gets out of the car and opens the back door for them. Its only at that moment Lucifer realizes that there's actually no way of opening it from inside.  "Thank you." Michael still insists on thanking this man for absolutely no reason. Is he being polite? Why?

           "Its my pleasure, Mr. Pivensie."

           "Mr. Angelo, actually. But you can call me Michael."

            "Okay, Michael. Maybe you should give me your number in case something like this happens again and I need to reach you."

             "You wont,"Lucifer snaps, intercepting the business card before the police officer can take it. Michael Angelo, Heavenly Host (tm) General Manager. "You know this is a chain of strip clubs in nevada, right?"

             "Doesnt matter, the phone number's correct." Michael doesnt sound too surprised though.

             "Gift from Gabrielle?" Lucifer frowns. 

            "Our sister is very fond of jokes." Michael explains, taking out another one for the police officer whos irreverently making eyes at the Commander of gods army.

          "He's taken." Luci informs the man. "Or are you and Adam getting a divorce?"He shoves Michael's jacket back at him. Michael just gives a sigh.

            "Thank you for your assistance, officer. Have a good night." Fortunately for Lucifers sanity, he doesnt linger to chat and just follows him back into the cottage.

            "I take it Raphael is off sulking?"

           "No. He just prefers not to deal with the police if he's not allowed to smite anyone. I can call him back if you rather I leave."

            "No." Lucifer crosses his arms as his stomach growls again. "Is Gabriel alright?"

            "She's almost exhausted her grace, but other than that she's fine.

            "How did that happen?"

           "She's impatient, impulsive, and attempted something I didnt believe possible. She suceeded, but it took it's toll. and then she just kept going. I'm trying to get her to tell us these things before hand, but she hasn't entirely forgiven us for the apocalypse. That and she seems to have adopted the mantra that its better to beg forgiveness than ask permission."

          "That would imply it wasn't at one point." The discomfort in his stomach makes Lucifer frown and work harder to ignore the fact that he can smell something thats making his mouth water. Probably that damn muffin. "Why is she waiting until wednesday to go back to heaven and replenish her grace?"

          "She claims its easier to recover emotionally as a human, by which she means quicker. Plus theres the opportunity to indulge in hedonism, however breif. Apparently merely occupying a vessel is nothing more than a shadow on the cavern wall."

          "Is she so broken that she'd invite this?" Lucifer gestures to his new body.

           "Perhaps. But I dont understand Gabriel and I certainly dont understand humanity. I am trying to though."

           "Are you." Is the cold reply.

           "There's a warm bath drawn for you. And Gabriel had prepared vegetarian fare as she's unsure how you'd feel about eating meat."

            "I wont be eating anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People have commented in regards to the show that jealous Lucifer acts like a jilted lover. But its probably more accurate to say that jilted lovers act like a jealous Lucifer.


	4. Give Us This Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael has to fight to get Lucifer to eat because even something as simple as that has to be an ordeal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, longpig is exactly what you think it is. Unless you think its pork, which it absolutely is not. If still confused google it.

         "If you were ever to consider agreeing to eat something, what would it be?" Michael asks after taking a moment to find the right question as Lucifer undresses for the bath.

         "Longpig." Comes the entirely inappropriate and unhelpful reply. Michael gives a sigh and tries to think of another tactic. "I won't eat anything carved by Gabriel's blade and I really dont think I have to say why." Michael winces at the statement. She's never shown her weapon proper respect. Even less so now that she's died on it. Preparing food with the weapon that mangled her own corpse is beyond the pale.

          "No, of course not." He concedes and gets a sense of surprise from his brother at his agreement. Then the clear thought that its further proof against the situation being real. "We didn't disagree about everything."

          "Get out of my head."

           "I'm not in it,"Michael corrects his indignanat brother. " You're calling to me. You've been calling to me all night." 

          "No. I havent. Just because I'm... human, " Its amazing the sheer amount of contempt he can put into one word. "Do you think I'd be praying? And to you?" As if Michael wasn't the only one Lucifer ever called to in his distress. Even after Michael cast him from heaven, shattering his wings on the icy earth below, Lucifer first cry was to him. Before tonight it was also the last.

           "No. I didnt." he confesses. "Which is why I didnt come sooner. I should have come. I'm sorry." Every time his brothers called for him, he should have gone. No matter what or why, he should have gone.

           "Another apology." It is of course dismissed out of hand. "What next? Will Raphael come groveling?" Though he knows its not a serious question, it irritates him to no end.

           "He has nothing to apologize to you for. He's never done anything to you. If anyone owes anyone an apology you owe one to him."

            "I've done nothing to him either." The heat in the tub is almost painful but not quite, and turns Lucifers skin almost red. But he thinks its perfect. "If anything I've shown incredible forbearance and magnanimity to the brat." A statement he clearly believes.

           "Thats true." Michael responds dryly. "You showed remarkable forbearance by not attempting to wipe him from existence for the crime of being created, as you did humanity."

           "Don't you dare compare our brother to these flawed abortions!" Oddly enough the implication that he is not a flawed abortion is one if the nicest things Lucifer's said about Raphael since he can remember and Michael half wishes he'd been present to hear it.

        "None of us are perfect and we never were. That was one thing Father never asked of us." 

         "Why don't you go fuck yourself?" Luci submerges his head in the water, as it's a very effective way of blocking out sound, and likely because being immersed in his element helps him feel whole again. So much so that he forgets about needing air and accidentally inhales almost a lung full of bath water. It only takes a touch from Michael to fix it, but his brother is clearly too embarrassed to appreciate the assistance. Oddly though, something seems to drain out of his little brother with the breif incident.

       "There's no way out of this, is there?" He rests his head and arms on the side of the tub, looking so frail and weary all of a sudden. 

        "Just one," Michael says softly reaching out to comfort him. Lucifer just moves to the other side, leaning against the tiles, refusing to look at him.

          "What kind of death does it have to be? Apparently I've chosen the wrong one almost four hundred times. Was it too quick? Too painless? What? Or aren't you allowed to tell me even that much?" The bitter hopelessness in Lucifer's voice is heart breaking. Michael doesn't know if the feeling is solely due to being in human form or if the newness of the body is only keeping him from hiding it. Neither thought brings much comfort. If the latter it would explain Gabriel's struggle keeping him alive Monday.

        "We don't want you to die," he says gently. Lucifer finally looks at him, but with a look that manages to be annoyed, furious and incredulous at the same time.

         "I cant believe you have the nerve to even try to claim that. You marshalled the forces of heaven to get your chance at murdering me. Gabriel actually attacked me. And you can't even pretend that Raphael prefers having me alive." 

         "None of that means it's what we wanted. Unless by claiming it has to be you're saying that killing Gabriel was what you truly wanted to do." There a pause where a million emotions war in his brother's ice blue eyes. Michael breifly wonders what will win. Lucifer being defeated by the onslaught of his own passions is an interesting thought. Michael feels a flicker of true hope for the first time since he left the cage.

         "What is this then?" The victor seems to be the impulse to discard the dissonant view entirely.  "More torture? A new and improved cage? What do you want from me?"

         "We just want you back, Helel." Michael brushes wet hair back from Lucifer's cheek. But this statement of truth just enrages Lucifer to the point Michael half expects the water to ice over despite his lack of grace.

         "How dare you call me that." His voice is low and tremulous. To anyone else it would be terrifying.

         "You asked what I wanted so how dare I not?" Michael returns, not the least intimidated. "Did you think I'd forgotten my Helel Ben Sahar? Mourned him maybe, considered him lost beyond saving, but I never forgot, never. I want him back. We all do."

        "There is no going back, you know it. You can torture me all you like dragging this fantasy out for me burning me with its impossibility..." He's not even addressing Michael anymore. 

         "Fantasy? You truly dont think any of this is real?" Michael can't say he's esecially surprised. Altering his perception of reality to fit his world view is par for the course for his deluded brother. But it never occured to him it was anything but a way to avoid responsibility. 

          "I know it isn't real. Gabriel is dead, Michael. I killed him myself. Father even said that... that..." Lucifer's breathing becomes forced, and he tenses, letting out a small cry as he does so. Something is going wrong inside of him, and Michael's not sure what. So he just calls for Raphael, and enfolds the shuddering form in arm and wing so he doesn't hurt himself. 

        When Raphael appears, it's stopped. Now Lucifer is just limp in his arms and the blue eyes are unfocused, nearly closing.

         "What happened?" Raphael asks, unable to find a cause for their brothers current state. He frowns when Michael tells him. "There's no reason he should have had a seizure. His body is perfectly healthy. I need to look into this. Humans always make things unneccesarily difficult. Im sure they've discovered a way to get seizures without actual illness."

         "What if this happens again? What should I do if there's nothing to heal?"

         " I'm unsure. I'll find that out as well." Raphael frowns, straightening up.

        "Dont involve Gabriel yet." Michael commands. This gets him a raised eyebrow. "Let her get rested and replenished in peace. There's nothing she can do yet, so theres no use in unneccessarily disturbing her." Raphael visibly refrains from accusing him of coddling her. So Michael refrains from reminding him that he owes his life to their sister and so can afford to give her a little extra care.

            "Once she has..."

            "I will tell her what she needs to know, when she needs to know it."

            "Very well." Raphael disappears just as Lucifer regains awareness and pushes away from his brother.

              "What just happened?" He demands, getting shakily to his feet. 

             "You lost conciousness. We arent sure why."

            "Is that so." he runs his fingers through his hair, not looking as upset about it as Michael expected. Though hes probably already come up with a false but bearable explanation for it already.

           "Its alright, Lucifer.."

           "No. It isnt. Nothing is alright about any of this." Lucifer grabs his towel and sits on the edge of the tub, just holding tightly to the terrycloth.

           "No, I suppose not." Michael gets up off the wet bathroom floor. "Maybe bringing you back was selfish. But we did and its done and we have to deal with the consequences. There was alot Gabriel was supposed to tell you that apparently she couldn't without you trying to kill yourself. 

        "If after accepting all of this, learning what you need to know, you still want to die, truly want to die, I... will try to make sure your choice is accepted. But this isnt torture or a punishment or even an elaborate illusion. To be honest, I'm fairly concerned with the idea that your fantasy Gabriel is a chaotic pagan hedonist who's given birth to a horse, or that anyone would possibly think it was."

        Lucifer can't help but laugh at that. Most likely because Michael is deadly serious, not in spite of it.  

         "When you put it that way, the case for this being reality is equally convincing. To be human, though. Using a vessel us one thing, a neccessary evil, but this... How could any of you do this to me and think it less than torture."

           "Well, you do want to wipe out all of humanity. This is the only way we could think of to have you both in the same existence."

             "It always has to come back to those things, doesnt it? You'd think daddy leaving you in the cage for following his own orders would have cured you of that blind obedience." Michael reminds himself of lucifer's now fragile existence and with great effort ignores that last sentance.

              "I know your opinion of them. I don't know what will happen in regards to this issue, but at the very least the four of us have the chance to be together as a family again if only for a breif while and we get to do it here where there are some unspoiled bits of nature left."

            "I told you they would ruin and over run everything, didnt I?"

            "I know you did."

            "They're melting the ice caps. Did you know that? Did you see what they've done to the polar bears?"

             "Yes."

             "They're making it so even they cant survive on this planet."

              "Then you don't need to do anything, do you?  If they're already killing themselves off."

                "What about the bees, Michael. Did you forget about them?"

                "I'd really rather not argue. Its been so long since I've seen you." Michael is fairly sure he's not pleading, though less sure it won't be taken that way.

               "We were just in the cage together." Which is unhelpful even if it was true.

               "No. No we weren't." Michael reaches out and places a hand on lucifer's head. "Even then it isnt as if we got to just talk. Besides you have to admit the cage wasn't nearly this scenic."

             "That much is true." Lucifer replies coldly, glaring at him. Michael decides to take this as his cue to return to the kitchen.

             "I'll prepare you some fruit and cheese. And there's fresh clean water as well. You'll need to drink water or you'll dry out. Apparently it'll give you bad skin as well, and dull flat hair. Dehydration does very painful and terrible things to your body it seems."

             "I know." Most likely because he's used it for that purpose.

             "Hunger is very unpleasant as well I hear."

              "I know."

              "Gabriel tells me that eating is a great pleasure for humans and even better than it looks when done properly." Michael doesn't feel the need to mention that's what she says about most sensual human persuits. Usually that the absurdity is proportional to the enjoyability, though not always. 

               "How would she know? Vessels can't taste anything."

                "She was stuck graceless as a human for almost a decade. Granted her body was damaged to the point of utter immobility for most of it. But she did have the full human woman experience for quite a while. So I have to take her word when she tells me about the experiences of being human." 

                "She did mention something along those lines earlier."

               "She left us some sort of small music player for playing music, I think."

               "Really? Are you sure its not for toasting waffles?" For the sake of nonviolence, Michael decides to ignore that.

               "There looks like a playlist for you. I'm sure its full of hillariously inappropriate songs if the first title is any indication. Angel With a Shotgun. Devil Pray, Monster by Meg and Dia, Like a Prayer... This Little Girl shouldn't be too bad. It seems to be nothing but Nightcore and Madonna songs if that means anything."

             "I dont know what Nightcore is, but Madonna is usually hillariously innappropriate. Nick was a fan." Lucifer can't help but smile.

             "Something from nightcore then." Michael selects the least offensive title.

             All it takes is the first chorus for Michael to make a note to himself to speak to Gabriel about lyrical content and how songs about being provoked to murdering loved ones are probably counter productive. And of course it would for some reason repeat this song until Luci is singing along with the chorus. While its good to hear him laugh or quite frankly exhibit any real emotion other then hurt, anger, or bitterness, he's not entirely sure it should be for just any reason. However, he doesnt want to break another of Gabriel's electronics so he lets it alone.

            The fruit and cheese dont look like enough. There's bread, butter, and honey. Lucifer will have to like honey. Humans raided beehives for it with no fur or protective gear at one point so obviously it must have a worthwhile taste. But he'll have to get her to take that first taste. 

         Adam once mentioned his mother pretending a spoon of food was an airplaine and making strange noises to get him to eat when he refused sustenance when he was younger.  But its highly unlikely Lucifer has the same attatchment to planes as Adam did. He's also not entirely sure its appropriate at this stage of physical development. Of course an argument wont help, either.

            Deception or stealth are the best options. Granted in their true forms it was sheer strength and physical prowess that led to Michael's victories. But he has the advantage now. Lucifer's too unbalanced and unnacclimated to his vessel to be as aware of his environment as he usually is. Though it probably wouldn't do to underestimate his capabilities. Best to act while he's distracted.

         "You're not the oooonly ooone walkin round with a looooadeeed guuun." He dances over to the table completely absorbed in the song, and grabs the bottle of water. After he opens his mouth to drink, but before the bottle reaches it, Michael places the dull rounded knife he used to spread the honey and butter on the bread flatly onto his tongue. There's a breif flicker of surprise, annoyance and indignation on his face in the second before the taste registers. "Whuuhh.." is the sound he makes before taking hold of the handle himself and cleaning off every speck.

           "Honey. And a little butter. I prepared bread as well. Cheese and fruit seemed insufficient."

           "So you did." Comes the quiet reply. "Have you ever tried food?"

           "No, I never had the need."

           "Not even slightly? You're not the least curious?" 

            "No. I've always had more pressing concerns. Plus I've been told most foods blend together too much to do anything but give a mashed up taste of indivual atoms. Gabriel reasured me that if you sufficiently concentrate a single molecule you can taste that molecule and by dividing your focus you can experience a taste similar to what a human would but it seems unneccesarily complicated and pointless."

          "If you eat a spoonful of that honey, I'll eat everything on my plate except the fruit. I cant believe you put it there."

            "The apple?"

            "You know damn well thats not an apple, Michael."

            "Huh, so it isnt." He looks closer at its genetic code. "I wasnt sure. They've done strange things to fruit and I thought it'd be in extremely poor taste of her to stock the house with them." Michael takes the slices and drops them into the trash. He could have just snapped them from existence, but Gabriel insisted they do as much manually as possible to help Lucifer acclimate to being human.

            "I can't believe she's making jokes about that."

            "I can't believe you don't believe it." Michael responds. Nor does he understand why it would upset him that she is.

           "Good point."Lucifer smirks. "I do remember the obstacle course."

            "We all promised never to discuss that." Michael reminds him, snapping maybe a bit more harshly than he intended.

           "It is actually kind of funny in hind sight."Of course he would find it so now. 

           "If I recall you wanted to pluck her wings and spike her to the tree of life at the time. Now I almost wish I'd let you."

           "In her defense, I don't think she really understood the implications at the time. She just wanted us to stop fighting. Do you remember that? When she was all sweet and innocent, unlearned in the ways if the world. I miss that."

           "Calling her inoccent is a stretch but she was certainly virginal once." But he can't go too deeply into that because it would inevitably lead to her damned husband. They all agreed to keep Lucifer from that minefield as long as possible. Preferrably until the man is dead, or at least until the inevitable divorce. 

           "Well, at least you and Raph are still pure." Lucifer finally sits down. Michael steels his expression and just pulls out the other seat. But apparently that wasnt good enough. "What? No. When? Was it Jacob?" Of course Lucifer assumes it was him and not Raphael.

             "That was our father. And I don't want to talk about it." Raphael would never forgive him if he told Lucifer anything about that zuni shaman, Meli. 

             "Does Adam know?" And that's enough of that.

             "It's none of anyone's business. And I'm tired of your whole attitude towards Adam Milligan. I was protecting my vessel as I gave my word to do.  He wasn't supposed to even be involved in the affair. I had him dragged him out of heaven, decieved and manipulated, forced into a role that he was never meant to be burdened with. So yes, I did everything i could to sheild him from torment and fulfil my obligation to. He's the only creature alive I did not ultimately fail and I will never apologize for that."

          Lucifer doesn't look at him, he only taps the plate with the rounded knife. He's not happy but as long as he keeps silent, Michael couldn't care less. But silence from a pissed off Lucifer is always too much to hope for.

           "So all that time and you never developed any sort of profound bond?" 

           "You mean like you and Sam?" Michael snaps not a little nastily. A low blow, but the whole ordeal stung more than his brother will ever know.

           "Ucch no, i hate that prissy bastard. I'm only disappointed I didnt get to keep his body longer. But could you believe that? That broken seraph actually pulled it out of the cage. I dont even know how he did it. I wonder if he noticed it was just the meat suit right away or not until right before death came back for him. I still want to kill the little fluffball again. But I have to admit I'm impressed."

            "You can't." Michael almost enjoys telling him. "He's been promoted."

            "Promoted?"

            "To archangel. A parting gift from dad. You dont want to know how. And I doubt you could anyways. Cassiel killed Raphael when he was still just a seraph."  Now it'll be interesting to see which one he decides to focus on. 

           "Its Castiel and what do you mean he killed Raphael? How? Please tell me you smote him as soon as you found out."

           "Our brother was trying to mobilize heaven to free us from the cage." Michael attempts to reproach his brother.

           "You mean so you could kill me and finish the apocalypse." he should have known Lucifer would connect those particular dots. "That says why, but not how. How does a seraph kill an archangel."

           "He swallowed every soul in purgatory apparently. Thats how. Killed Raphael, went mad with power, killed half the angels in heaven, declared himself the new God and ended up being dissolved by the leviathan he also ended up consuming. He was of course brought back by dad."

           "This is bullshit. He declared himself the new god? And dad forgave him and ressurected him? And finally promoted him? How is any of that not worse than what I did?" Michael just gives his incredulous brother a sharp look. "I never tried to replace our father."

          "No, you just went to him in the desert and tried to make him worship you," Michael reminds him. 

         "That wasnt fair. I didn't know that was him!"

        "If that's true it was willfull ignorance. Gabriel announced that it was."

         "That still doesnt explain why that abomination is in our fathers good graces."

         "I don't know. Gabriel thinks its because of his love for humanity. And his genuine contrition for his own misdeeds. You have neither of those."

         "I'm right to hate them! Just... forget our father then, what about you? He killed Raphael. How are you okay with this?" 

         "I'm not 'okay' with any of it. And since when do you care so much about Raphael?" Michael wonders how to stop this runaway argument about things he's still having difficulty processing. Lucifer trying to claim injury over harm done to Raphael is the most infuriating.

          "I don't, it's a matter of principle. Since when don't you?"

          "I care. But Raphael did kill him first and he's since made up for it. He'll never stop trying to make up for it and that means something. I'm still not exactly on good terms with the fledgeling but Gabriel is. For that alone I'm tolerating him. We all owe her enough to do that. Now are you going to eat or not?" Michael shoves the plate closer to his brother, desperately hoping the argument will end. While he could easily just silence his brother, that would ultimately solve nothing. And neither can he turn the conflict physical to dissipate the energies as he used to do. The difference between their strengths is no longer negligible and Gabriel made it very clear how damaging the use of violence is to the mental well being of  humans. Though demons alone are proof of that.

          Instead of continuing the argument, which is no doubt leading places even Lucifer doesnt wish it to go, his younger brother pushes the jar of honey towards him, clearly resisting the urge to just smash it against Michael's head. As if that wasn't clear enough, he crosses his arms and leans back, clearly prepared to wait all day or more.

         Eat a spoon full of honey and he'll eat his plate. Fine. There's nothing inherently sinful or corrupting or even forbidden about it. While Gabriel does have sweet tooth, Michael sincerely doubts there's a direct correlation with simple sugars and debautchery. Lucifer is merely demanding it because he thinks Michael will object to it.

      Since to eata spoonful he needs a spoon, Michael leans back on his chair to grab one from the drawer. There's a breif very clear debate coming from Lucifers conciousness on whether to push his precariously balanced big brother over. Which is more surprising in that its only a thought and not an irresistable compulsion immediately acted upon. The opportunity is short lived anyhow. 

           The taste is a pure explosion of sensation. Michael manages to contain any reaction, but he's not sure Lucifer's fooled. That his brother could have tasted this and still refused to eat is a testiment to his immovably obstinate pigheadedness. 

           Lucifer doesn't say anything. He just picks up one of the bread slices and takes a bite.

            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PNES (Psychogenic nonepileptic seizures) are attacks that may look like epileptic seizures, but are not caused by abnormal brain electrical discharges. They are a manifestation of psychological distress.
> 
>    
> Because lets face it, Lucifer is a whole lot of f*cked up to shove into one little human body, especially one not even broken in by normal human nuerosis.


	5. Close Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer's second encounter with humanity. Less bloodshed, more nudity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is canon divergent from s.11 ep22. Lucifer was killed by Amara while trying to save his father, and no one can seem to remember exactly what happened afterwards. Everyone has varying amounts of amnesia about the events. Lucifer's extends back to before the darkness was even released.

          "So, he's still alive." Raphael stands by the side of the 'bed', overlooking his brothers sleeping form. While Gabriel once expressed a preference for his brothers' being merely silent, Raphael cant help but feel that helplessly unconcious is the best state for Lucifer. It eliminates any trace of what a complete and utter asshole he is."I know he's not exactly an infant human, but I'm not entirely sure he won't suffocate in all those pillows."  

           "He seems to be doing alright with it." Michael browses the information he brought for him on seizures and tending to those having them.

         As well as some information on PNES, which seems to be the kind Lucifer had. Apparently humans actually can have seizures due merely to psychological distress. Given how Michael was broken down by his relatively breif time alone in the cage, he probably shouldn't be surprised that Lucifer was damaged as well. Then theres his death, being ripped to shreds by the darkness after attempting to save their father from her. Its fairly certain the memory counts as distressing. At least a condition with triggers is slightly easier dealt with or anticipate than one without. 

        "Are you continuously playing one song over and over again." He cant keep from commenting on the background.

        "Yes." Michael is of course merely absorbed in the new information and not being a pain in the ass as Luci would be, but that makes it only slightly less irritating.

        "Why?"

        "I dont know how to make it do anything else. I stopped even noticing it hours ago. I suppose Lucifer did as well as he fell asleep at the table. I dont suppose you know how to stop it without smiting it." Michael hands it to him. "Adam could only afford things with buttons." He explains. Raphael feels a little less embarrassed at having asked Castiel about touch screens and other electronics. The only other options were humans after all. Or Gabriel and she would have almost certainly taken the opportunity to play some sort of joke on him.

        "This glyph makes the entire list of songs repeat. This one is a command to randomize the order of the songs. That number one in the repeat glyph says to repeat the same song over and over." Raphael presses it. "The square means stop." He makes the song finally cease playing.

         "I thought an octagon meant stop." Michael frowns.

         "Only when on a road. And it has to be red. When driving, red always means stop. There are no unwritten rules of the road, only illegal behaviors that are generally over looked unless pressed. And you will not be graded based on your demonstration of these behaviors either, no matter what Gabriel says." Raphael frowns at the questioning look his older brother gives him. "No, not me." He can't conceal his annoyance. How gulliable does Michael think he is? "One of the lesser angels. But it occurs to me that as a human, Lucifer may need to learn this skill.  So it'd be preferably to hire a human instructor."

         "Can't you teach him?" Michael winces at the thought of Lucifer being told he has to go under a humans instruction for anything. Which is fair, but...

         "I would rather shred my own wings than attempt to instruct him in any subject or skill." Raphael looks through the play list, rolling his eyes when he recognizes any songs. "I trust your interactions with the police were without incident."

        "Yes, he was very friendly. He asked for my phone number in case he had to contact me about Lucy again. He also provided us transportation home. He was very diligent."

        "He was showing his attraction to you and inviting your intrest." Raphael says flatly.

        "I doubt that. Even if he did find my vessel appealing, some of Lucifer's comments implied I was romantically unavailable or even married." Before Raphael can ask about that, there's a banging on the entrance door.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

         "Denny, stop" Brett grabs his sisters wrists as she bangs on the door.

         "I know they're in there. I can hear them talking. you made me walk up here to return this damn thing. I'm either getting a ride back or some damn water and a rest first. Hey..." She digs the out of the purse as she hears the door unlock. "Is Lucy Pivensie he... hello." Denny's eyes widen as a ridiculously handsome man with dark hair and greenish hazel eyes opens the door. He gives a small frown at her, his eyes going to her shirt. She blushes wishing for once that she'd actually listened to her mother and not worn the black 'satan' belly shirt with pentagram collar.

        "I'm sorry to disturb you." Eagle scout Brett speaks up, taking the purse from her shoulder and the Id from her hand. "But we were hiking by the river and found this. We just thought since we were nearby, we'd stop in and return it." He hands it back to the man.

        That is of course a complete lie. Brett went out to the woods specifically to look for this thing after grilling their cousin about the girl who climbed the fence that morning. He saw it breifly when he was out on his paper route and wouldn't let it go. Denny had gone out to smoke pot in the woods when he found her and blackmailed her into joining him. At least he let her keep... oh shit, she put the last joint in that girls purse.

         "Thank you." Mr. Gorgeous goes to close the door. Brett looks a little disappointed, but not inclined to press for a meeting. Time for big sis to step up, after all even arriving just twenty minutes ahead confers that kind of obligation. Especially with a brother as pathetically shy as hers.

        "Can I use your bathroom?" Denny quickly asks, blocking the door. "It's a long walk and I don't piss in the woods, so." Ungrateful Brett just covers his face in embarrassment. Of course, saying it just reminded her how true it is, so he's really just going to have to deal.

        "Of course." Tall dark and handsome opens the door again, though a bit reluctantly and lets her in. She has to drag Brett inside behind her and looks around. The kitchen is bare, not even hand towels or refrigerator magnets or pizza flyers or anything.  So is the living room except for a small table and chairs. And...

       "Holy shit, is that a movie theater?" She starts to head towards a velvet curtained doorway before a stern looking black woman she didn't notice, pulls the curtain closed and takes her place besides the cutie. Probably his girlfriend or something. Figures. "Um, bathroom?"

       "That door." The woman points to a door next to an open entryway that's blocked only by a beaded curtain.

       "Um, hello. I'm Brett Hanlon." Eagle scout awkwardly introduces himself as she enters the bathroom. It's also ridiculously bare. There are odd bristled sticks and a small clay pot by the sink. A jar of white powder? Probably not cocaine. Nope, baking soda. Theres a salt and oil scrub that, oh my god, what is that wonderful  smell? It's absolutely divine. No medications in the medicine cabinet. or pads or tampons. They must really have just moved in. At least they have toile)t paper.

       "Where's the soap?" She calls.

       " Clay jar." A soft almost soothing voice says.

       "Thanks." Denny washes her hands with the soft soap as the bathroom door opens. There's a tall girl, about her age in a pink sports bra and panty set with that devilish angel signature on it.  If she's trying to be provocative she's trying to startle the wrong girl."I like your panties." Denny winks.

       "I like your shirt." That lovely, now humorous voice is hers. Brett's probably fainted by now, though. She's so much taller than she looks on the ID.

       "Thanks. I'm Denny, short for Denise."

       "Lucy, short for Lucifer." The girl grins, thankfully not pointing out that Denny is not in fact shorter than Denise when spoken.

       "Hey, I'm a big fan." Denny tugs on her shirt. Lucy actually laughs and turns to leave. "What's this thing? The scent I mean?" She picks up the salt scrub.

       "Myrrh." She replies then turns back with a mischievous grin. "You can have it if you give me that shirt."

       "I'm not wearing anything underneath or I would." Denny says reluctantly. Not that she'd really mind letting that hunk of burning love getting a peek but his girl would probably object. Plus she already has one public indecency charge already.

       "Here." The pink sports bra is removed and offered.  Brett is going to die if she comes out wearing Luci's bra.

       "Hell,  yes!" They quickly make the exchange. There's a kind of foreign sounding statement from the woman.

       "Don't be rude, Raphi. We have company." Lucy walks out to the kitchen before her, not adding a stitch more of clothing. Denny silently vows to make this girl her new best friend.  "Are you hungry, Denise? We have some fruit left." She takes one from the bowl on top of the fridge. This gets her an incredibly pissed off look from the other two for some reason.  Brett has not in fact fainted  yet, but he is beet red and staring determinedly at the ceiling.

         "What is that a quince?" Denny goes to take it from the girl, but Cutie McCuterson rudely intercepts it and puts it back. It's probably ornamental. "Are they even edible raw?" Lucy gives a faux innocent pouty looking frown and shrugs.

        "This young lady and gentleman found and returned your purse from the woods." Handsom Hans says sternly. Clearly implying that Lucy should thank them.

        "Oh, good for them." Lucy opens the fridge instead and grabs a bottle of water. Denny tries not to smile if only because he probably wouldn't appreciate it.

        "Do you really have a movie theater in your house?" Denny asks, she just gets a laughing smile in return.

        "You need to go put pants on." It's always wonderful when a man's voice is as sexy as his face.

        "I need more bread and honey, or did  you eat it all?" Lucy's checking the cabinets.

        "You have nothing in here."Denny comments at the empty pantry. "You want to go back to town with us and get a pizza? We can take it to the overpass, throw rocks at cars, get blazed."

        "Denny." Brett finally speaks. "We are so sorry to intrude, but we're leaving. Now."

        "We are?" Denny frowns at him as Lucy walks away.

        "Don't forget the scrub." Luci goes back into the bathroom and brings out the glass jar.

         "Right, thanks."Denny takes it. "I'll bring this back some other time. Like when we have access to a car and dont have to walk a bajillion miles to get here." She tugs on the bra strap, brushing off Bretts arm.

         "Keep it."

         "Oh, yeah, Lucy, this is Brett, my brother. We're twins. He's the evil one. And wants to ask you to the dance on saturday."

         "Denise.... I'm calling mom. Thank you for your hospitality, but we'll wait at the end of the driveway."Brett hits the low blow and retreats towards the door before his sister can grab the phone from his hands. 

        "Don't you dare!" But he's already dialing.  

         "Thank you again." Brett nods to them before taking off out the door.

         "Hey!" Denny takes after him. She thinks she can hear Lucy laughing in the cottage.

          

       


	6. Of Little Brothers

          "That was interesting." Lucifer smirks as he finds the nearly empty jar of honey.

          "We're supposed to be keeping a low profile. You can't keep telling people your name is Lucifer and you can't wear a shirt like that."

          "Maybe one of you should have gotten rid of the movie theater, if blending in is so important. It's not as if I can do it." He reasonably points out. 

          "We weren't expecting yoy to have gained admirers already." Raphael frowns. "Though we probably should have."

          "Is it Wednesday yet? Shouldn't someone be taking Gabriel to heaven?" 

          "Its still tuesday."

          "What is she doing thats so important she can't replenish her grace and return?" Lucifer can't help but notice a twitch of a smile on Raphael's face.

         "Engaging in wanton hedonism. The lower your grace, the closer you are to your vessels baser functions." Michael says flatly.

         "And you're allowing this?" Luci demands incredulously.

         "She's not a child. She can make her own decisions. One of which was to bring you back from the dead. So you of all people should respect that." Raphael says his peice and vanishes.

         "Gabriel raised me from the dead and Raphael called that a good decision?" Lucifer stares pointedly at Michael, challenging him to defend that as reality.

          "No, He's saying you don't have the right to deny Gabriel her own agency when you benifited from it to such a large degree."

         "How do I benefit? I would rather be dead than reduced to this."

         "Even if its only temporary?"

        "How temporary? How long am I to be further degraded?"

        "Presumably long enough for you to gain some perspective."

        "Perspective?" Michael is the only angel who wouldnt run at the icy yet dulcet tones of her voice. One of three who would not have been disintigrated well before the voice would have even needed to be used.

        "Yes. Perspective. Like I've been forced to."

         "You've been human?"

         "No."

         "Then you can take your perspective and..."

         "Would it help you to endure if I was?"Michael interrupts him. The look of horror on Luci's face us answer enough.

          "If you think for a moment that I ever wanted to see any of you degraded in any way..." Lucifer shakes his head and leaves the room. The sound of the shower running fills then cottage.

        Michael looks out the window at their visitors in the yard. The boy has given his sister his shirt and has actually gotten her to wear it. She was clearly set on annoying and inconveniencing him, so how did he talk sense into her?

          He's tempted to ask, but Lucifer will need another meal soon. Adam did have fond memories of pizza. Maybe he should get some. He could manifest some, but Gabriel had been insistant on going 'low tech' when humans were around. The artificial limitations are difficult and irritating. Gabriel's expertise in humanity and hiding among them are the only reasons he even feels compelled to try. It's only safe to assume being actually unable to do so is even more frustrating.

        However once the children are gone from the property it will be a different matter. Gabriel should be here. She's been through this herself. Not to mention this entire situation was her own doing. She shouldnt have been so reckless, and impulsive. It was irrational to think that she could remove any of the darkness the mark poisoned their brother with. It was slowly draining on its own, like from every fallen angel encased in the abyss. She should have let it take its course, let his grace heal on its own.

       But she couldnt, could she? The thought of having all of her family back was too tempting. It was ill advised, short sighted, and could never have worked. Except it did. Curing a demon by injecting it with purified human blood couldn't possibly translate to use on an angelic form. But it had. An infusion of grace into the crysalis and lucifer began to clarify.

        It took a year before the change was noticable, but when it was, there was no stopping her. Her vessel was hurried as it only took another month for the crysalis to crack. He doesnt even know how Gabriel did was hebdid next, ripping Lucifer's heart and mind from his grace and shoving it inside. But it wasnt angelic and so he didn't want to think too hard about it. Especially when Gabriel said that it had done the trick for her.

          What is an angel without their grace? Not human, even if in a human vessel. How can they be? The weight of eternity will always be on their shoulders. But who are they, if neither angel nor human? Who is Lucifer now? What was the darkness and what was him? Can they ever truly be separated anymore? Is there really any hope of reform? Even Gabriel thinks its an even chance that Lucifer could be saved or that this could simply make him an even bigger threat to all mankind.

         Would it make a difference if their brother knew that Gabriel was risking everything she holds dear? Or would it simply give lucifer another weapon to use once he acclimates to this new existence. Gabriel's strategy is clear, to keep Luci off balance, unable to regroup and hope she can sneak lesson after lesson in as she does so.

         But so far all it did was make him question reality to the extent he'd kill himself to escape it. Was that really it though? Just that it wasnt real? Michael used to know.how Lucifer thought. How he felt, but now. Now he can only guess. In truth he probably never truly did. How else could Lucifer have done what he's done before Michael even suspected he was capable of it.

         But then again he himself had done things he never thought he could ever do. He spent millenia fighting and killing his own brothers and sisters, slauhtering his neices and nephews when they tried to escape the flood waters. Whats more he made his siblings do the same. And then Lucifer, first banishing him from heaven, then after the war, putting him into the cage to be imprisoned for thousands of years which passed as millions. All alone.

       It only took decades for the solitude to break Michael once he was truly alone. How strong must Lucifer have been to last as long as he did. No wonder their father believed him able to bear the mark. To withstand it.

       This can't be a battle of wills. It cant be, if there's to be any hope at all.         A knock on the door breaks Michael from his thoughts. A very loud knock at that. He answers it to see an older woman. Presumably the twins mother. She does not look pleased. She looks even less pleased when she sees Michael and for some reason seems incredibly disapproving.

        "Where is my daughters shirt?" She demands.

         "She exchanged it with my sister for the body scrub." He says simply.

          "You allowed this? You are aware she is out there in only a bra."

           "I thought her brother had given her his shirt." Michael looks to verify but the woman moves to block his view almost indignantly.

            "The point is that she is a fifteen year old girl you allowed to expose herself improperly to public view."

            "I was under the impression sports bras were acceptable to wear singly. As for my allowing anything, her behavior is not my responsibility. What she did, she did of her own free will and its not my place to correct her."

         "Free will? She's a child! Is that how you excuse your perverted desires you..." Her rant and Michael's confusion are interrupted by the slamming open of the bathroom door.

          "What did you just say to my brother, you worthless ape?" 

           "My only job is to keep everyone alive." Michael grabs Lucifers arm and covers his mouth with his hands so he cant further inflame the situation. "Not to baby sit children who wander in from the woods. If you take issue with their actions, please take it up with them."

         "Stay away from my children."

         "This is our house and our property. If you wish them to stay off it its your responsibility to ensure that they dont trespass, not ours." Michael closes the door with his foot as there's no point in continuing the conversation and Lucifer is trying to bite his hand.

           "She had no right to speak to you that way." Luci snaps when he lets go of him.

             "Alot of people do things they have no right to do. Are you hungry? Would you like to try pizza?"

             "No."

             "If I get some will you eat it?" He doesnt get a reply. Lucifer just walks away, rubbing his wrist. Michael is tempted to just look inside hs brothers head, but that would be an enormous breach of privacy.

              He doesnt need to though as thesecond Lucifer has gone from view, his brother begins to pray to him. He does so unconsciously, with just intense hurt and longing. Michael held too tightly it seems. He keeps forgetting how fragile humans are. Though the longing is for comfort. There's no anger. Its as if Lucifer has just accepted Michaels touch will bring pain. He has never, ever just accepted anything. Why would he accept an unintended injury without a word?

          Michael enters Lucifers rooms to find him staring at the fan of angel feathers. It so odd seeing them in the physical plain. They're almost never truly taken from the veil. Mostly so as not to let the loose feathers be used for spells. He seriously questions Gabriel's decision to bring it down. Another double edged blade in this fight for their brother. But for now he ignores it and touches Lucifers wrist, healing the bruised and already swelling flesh and bone.

           "I misjudged my strength."

           "What else is new." The statement is blank, devoid of either blame or forgiveness. The only surprise is that it wasnt accompanied by a roll of the eyes. Michael doesnt know his own strength. Lucifer is strong of will. Raphael is steadfast. Gabriel runs headlong. These things dont really need to be said. They're a core part of existence like water is wet or the sun is bright. 

            "The surrounding woods are rich in edibles. We could go forage if you like." Thia suggestion actually seems to catch Lucifer's intrest. He'd never allowed himself to admit how fascinate he was in Raphael's cultivations. The stubborn idiot refuaed to admit he found much value in their younger brother at all. To do that would be to admit that he was missing something valuable by not being close to him. And Lucifer can rarely accept his own errors.

          No wonder Gabriel nearly sliced her own hand off when she hears him apologize. Michael wonders if lucifer will ever admit having done it, or would ever do it again.

           There's a ridiculous straw hat in the closet that can easily double as a sort of basket. It looks equally ridiculous on Lucifer's head, and Michael has to smile at the frown his vain brother gives at his reflection in the mirror. Despite his better instincts, Michael gives into impulse and snaps him into a white sundress.

             "You've been spending too much time with Gabriel." Is the only comment, but after seeing the offensive shirt on a hanger in the closet instead of just disintegrated as Michael was tempted to do, there's no protest. 


	7. Taking an Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel returns, fully refreshed, to take over Luci's care and relieve his brothers.
> 
> Raphael doesn't think its such a good idea to leave her alone with him and sticks around. 
> 
> Lucifer, his old charming self after a night in paradise, acquires a partner in crime.

           Oddly enough Lucifer finds he likes the purple stain of mulberries almost as much as the taste. The same with raspberries. They were all so warm he could taste the sun on them. He'd forgotten how beautiful the earth could be. He'd never known about the tastes, the warmth. The touch and scents he had in part but they never created such a response in him before.

          It doesnt seem like the same world that tripped and mocked and tore at him the first night. It's as if it recognizes him now, the one who tended to it and cared for it in his infancy. He feels so strong now, refreshed and recharged. He slept in the warm fragrant beds of clover last night, albeit inadvertantly. He fell asleep watching the stars and woke to see rabbits feasting nearby.

         He was still warm when he woke, with Michael sitting silently beside him. He suspects his brother covered him with his wings but doesnt want to bring it up. Why should he admit to appreciating his brothers presence. Let Michael admit it first. After all it wasnt Lucifer who cast his affection away like it was worth nothing.

        Lucifer just waits, perfectly still, the ripest berries held in his gands just waiting for the birds to come near. It will of course take longer with Michael around. Most birds find him intimidating. But there's a bold one approaching. A tiny round fluffy chickadee. He thinks he remembers the songs. It takes a few tries but Lucifer soon trills invitation, safety, food, and the bird flies over perching on his head. He never felt the touch of its tiny feet on his hand while in Nick. There was no time in Sam.

        "Good morning!" While the scattering of the animals nearby is mildly irritating, the song of a happy Gabriel more than makes up for it. It makes him think of her scattering gathered pteranodon. The irritated look in the chickadees eyes mirrors theirs exactly, and elicits a small laugh from him.

        "Good morning." He turns and smiles back, returning the greeting. She looks greatly refreshed. Maybe theres something to be said for hedonism.

        "Sorry it took me so long. I had to buy a car this morning." Gabriel jingles the keys. "And no I did not use fairy gold, Michael. I raided a vault in Zurich."

         "You robbed a bank?" Luci grins, both astonished and impressed. Michael just give a very dissaproving look. Oddly enough Raphael seems just fine with it.

          "Of an embezzeler. Who in turn had grifted from Roman Polanski. I donated half to PervertedJustice.com. The rest is in our joint bank account." She tosses Michael and envelope which seems weighted enough that there are probably keys inside as well. "If you're not busy we need to go shopping."

        "Shopping?"

        "For clothes, food, furniture, random items that catch our intrest. There's a garden center. I thought we could plant somethings, edible and decorative of course. We definitely need some garden furniture. We can stop for breakfast if you like. I used all the syrup yesterday so not in the mood for pancakes, but there's this place here that has these ridiculously good Belgian waffles they pile high with real strawberries and whipped cream."

         "No. Thank you." Lucifer gets up and walks into the cottage after her. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better today."

         "Likewise. Oh, here." Gabriel hands her a card. "Here's yours. you get a thirty dollar a week limit. Of course, if you try to murder anyone, you'll be cut off."

         "Setting the bar fairly low, are we?" Raphael comments dryly, though he does look a bit amused at Lucifer's attire. Probably all the berry stains.  As if they don't just make him look even more adorable. Not that Raphael was ever able to appreciate his older brother in the least.

        "Let me freshen up first. " Lucifer puts down her berry filled hat and takes out a few sticks and grabs some small sticks, a pot of oil, a lighter and two bowls before taking them all into the bathroom.

        "I think he's going to be a while." Raphael sighs.

        "Then you have plenty of time to catch me up." Gabriel looks excitedly at her siblings. Michael just looks uncertainly over to Raphael who grimaces.

        

 

         "Oh that bitch." Gabriel scowls. "She doesn't actually think you're a pedophile. She was just trying to scare you out of pressing charges or telling tales. Little Denny's a bit of a handful." She covers her face.  "I'll take care of her."

         "Do not take care of anyone." Michael says sternly.

         "I'm not talking about killing her. Just maybe being caught in an embarrassing or compromising position with a delivery boy or something."

         "No."

         "Not where we live." Raphael pleads. 

         "Fine. I'll keep it to basic human politics and social sabotage. A well timed breeze would be much simpler and kinder in the long run, though."

         "We're saying to let it go." Raphael throws his hands up.

         "How can we expect Lucifer to control himself and behave if you won't." Is Michael's somewhat reasonable point.

         "Okay, fine. Letting it go. Geez." Gabriel rolls her eyes. "So you two coming with or do you need a break now too?"

         "I think I'd like to go see the budding fledgelings for a bit this morning. See if anymore are ready to emerge. And it is wednesday." He reminds Gabriel, not willing to say too much more out loud in case Lucifer overhears. Given Lucifer's attitude towards Adam, he certainly doesn't want to bring up Alex. It's no less innocent, but Lucifer refuses to believe any relationship devoid of lust and manipulation is even possible with human.  Besides this one is alive and he'd like to keep her that way.

          "Oh, right. What on earth is he doing?"

          "You're taking him out in public in a fairly ordinary unremarkable vessel. What do you think the master of vanity is doing?" Raphael rolls his eyes. "He's creating his own cosmetics." he clarifies.

          "Will you be joining me in the abyss?" Michael asks his brother, hoping to change the subject. "Or will you be keeping an eye on Gabriel."

          "Will you please stop calling it the Abyss? It's Fantasia, though Nirvana and Xanadu are also acceptable. It's not the entrance to the empty anymore," Gabriel corrects a bit testily. "And what do you mean, keep an eye on me? You don't trust me?" The absolute hurt in her voice is a bit understandable. She did after all, die standing up to Lucifer, trying to prevent him. But then again it wasn't  Lucifer being the charismatic seductive big brother she adored that she stood against. It was Lucifer off balance, defensive and lashing out. There's a difference. An enormous difference.

           "He meant more along the lines of watching your back than monitoring you." Raphael attempts to sooth her. "Lucifer seems to be in a charming mood and you know you just eat that up. You always have."

           "That's not entirely my point, though it's true. I do trust you to ultimately resist his charms." Michael quickly backs him up. His phrasing only slightly irritates their little sister. "But I mostly don't want you to ignore me and torment that woman because of a single, falsehood of an insult."  This does seem a lot more fair to Gabriel, though.

           "She pretty much called you a pedophile,  Michael. That's the worst insult or falsehood I could call anyone." That's true, Gabriel has never been tolerant of any sort of violence against children. 

           "Ephebophile." Raphael corrects. " Her daughter is an adolescent, not a child. It's only recently adolescents weren't considered adults in that regards."

           "Besides," Michael continues. "I think if I can handle a realm of endless torment being fashioned in my likeness and having my element used as a symbol for sin and eternal damnation I can overlook the verbal defensive posturing or an overprotective mother." Raphael resists a smile, not at what Lucifer did, but at Michael's ever present annoyance at it. Gabriel doesn't even try to hide hers. Of course she would find it amusing.

           "Well, that was just Luci being Luci." Gabriel snickers. "And it's kind of sweet if you think about it, placing her throne in your heart. Sick and twisted, like that slightly disturbing fan, but still... Like extreme pigtail pulling."

           "No, not it isn't." Michael snaps. "I couldn't even try to take a vessel for several millenia without people thinking I was evil incarnate. If John and Adam weren't both aethistic and desperate, neither of them would have ever let me in."

           "You certainly played up the role in regards to Adam, though." Gabriel crosses his arms, but a glare from Michael silences her from commenting further. "I would like you to join us, Raph. Especially for the garden center. I can never remember what should be planted when or where."

           "I'll come, but I'm not using that ridiculous psuedonym."

           "It's not ridiculous."

           "I'm tired of your turtle jokes. They weren't funny when that winchester makes them. They aren't funny when you do. "

           "But I make them at a much more spiritually and intellectually higher level, Ms. Akupara. Besides, April is a lovely name and not in fact a turtle herself." Gabriel protests. She didn't even dare try and name her Venus, even if the character hadn't been universally loathed. "Speaking of which you have to remember to call him Lucy when we're out in public. If you don't they'll just think you're being really bitchy and he'll get so much sympathy."

           "And use proper pronouns, yes, I am aware. But do you have to joke about everything?" Raphael gives an exhasperated sigh. 

           "Well, I don't have to." She admits, "I could just curl into a ball of endless weeping instead. You have to have a sense of humor about things, Raph. It's the only way you can survive."

            "Haven't you died twice already?" Raphael retorts.

            "Yes, well, it's turtles all the way down."

            "Do you ever speak any sense at all?"

            Michael ends the argument simply by clearing his throat. At least these two younger siblings listen to him occaisionally.

            "Can the two of you appear together in public without arguing like fledgelings?  You are adults in adult bodies. Lucifer is supposed to be the only child among you."

            "I beg your pardon." Lucifer comes out of the bathroom.

            "You're body is fifteen." Raphael informs him.

            "Shit, I forgot about make up." Gabriel sighs almost dispairingly at the sight. Lucifer has somehow formed a purple stain for his upper lip and eyelids and a charcoal paste for eye liner and his lower lip. A little raspberry shadow contouring on the cheeks as well, renders his formerly plain face almost devestatingly lovely.

            "I told you that you should have let me add some deformities, or skin conditions." Raphael shakes his head. This earns him a rather sharp look from Lucifer. "It's not too late for acne." Luci ignores the baiting this time so he can't help pressing it. "Or acromegaly. The body is still growing after all."

             "How is this body not full grown? I'm almost six feet tall al...read..." A light of realization dawns in his eyes. "Is this construct what I think it is?" He grins.

             "I dont know, are you thinking i patched a peice of your true vessel with a peice of my own to turn the Y chromosome into another x without really appreciating the genetic implications of that? Because if so you are way off base." Gabriel unleases his most adorable smile, dimples and all in hopes to avert Luci's wrath. Fortunately she didn't need to worry.

            "No wonder this body feels so comfortable. Thanks, 'Mom'," he winks and returns to her room. Gabriel just covers her face in mortification. "I knew the hair looked familiar."

            "He's going to absolutely kill me." Gabriel whispers.

            "Maybe not, maybe he'll just div..." Raphael is silenced by a look from Michael.

             "Why don't you just be quiet like you were for the first seven days." Gabriel snaps. Michael sighs and takes out his phone. "What are you doing?"

            "Rescheduling my appointment."

             "Don't. We'll behave." Gabriel puts one hand on the phone and crosses her heart with the other. "I promise, nee-san." Raphael nods his agreement. 

             "Be gentle with yourself, paseh." Michael gives Gabriel a kiss on the head and Raphael one on the cheek. "I'll return tommorrow. Call me if there's a need." He leaves the moment Lucifer returns, so doesnt see he's back in the belly shirt and jeans. Gabriel grins at the outfit and changes the jeans to black leather with purple laces up the side.

           "Best mom ever." Lucifer looks them over. Raphael just rolls his eyes.l

           "Oh, and I'm your sister, Mrs. Gabrielle Singer. My 'husband' Daniel," Gabriel ignored the irritated look Luci gives at the name. "travels frequently as an international courier, we usually meet up overseas so he'll never be here. Raphael is April Akupara, her husband Nick disappeared under mysterious circumstances."

          "Aww. What happened to your husband, April," Luci mocks, enjoying the name of Raphael's missing husband a bit too much.

           "Nothing you can prove." His tone would have utterly intimidated anyone but his older brother who just finds it amusing. "I'm driving and break hard for everything. So wear your seat belts and no nonsense."

            "So, dear sister," Luci smiles at Gabriel as Raph walks outside. "What kind of car do we have? Is it a  minivan? This feels like a minivan sort of town." The way he scrunches his nose isnt exactly distate, but not far from it.

          "Call me Bree since none of you can seem to say my name right anymore. Really, leave for an era or two...." she shakes her head. 

         "Alright, Bree." Lucifer tests it out.

           "And no. It's a sparkly hot pink Prius convertable with black leather seats."

          "Really."

          "Heard you were a fan." Gabriel nudges her and leaves the cottage. "Shotgun!"

           "If you think I'm having Lucifer at my back unattended, think again." Raphael places a canvas bag full of canvas bags on the front seat. "Both of you in back." Luci rolls her eyes at the thought that he'd even bother and sits in back without protest.

\-------------------

          "Stop complaining, Denise." Mrs. Halston snaps as they walk down the aisle of the grocery store. "You're lucky I'm even letting you leave the house after that stunt you pulled yesterday."  Denny just rolls her eyes and keeps her arms crossed as she trails after her mother. She's here because her mother doesnt trust her home alone. She doesnt even trust her to push the cart. And of course, Brett is at the park preparing for the scout meeting.

      Suddenly there's the sound of laughter and an occupied shopping cart speeds past the end of the isle. Was that Lucy?

      "Both of you, stop acting like fledgelings you..." the following words are in an odd language that she cant understand at all.

        "English, pasha!" Lucy's sweet voice teasingly reminds the woman, hot guys girlfreind or something, as she strides after them.

         "You're right, mom. I am grateful." Denny rushes to the end of the aisle. The cart has stopped miraculously close to a display pile of cans. Lucy is grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary while the one actually inside the cart.... is that Mrs. Singer? And Lucy's wearing her shirt too.

          "Lucy!" She waves. The girl turns to look at her. Did she look this good yesterday? Lucy smiles and walks away from her... sister in law? Who's helping Mrs. Singer out of the cart while quietly chiding them both. "Finally getting some groceries I see."

          "Yes, there's not alot of organic food though." Lucy shakes her head.

          "No. You need to go to whole foods for that. But there are some stealth healthy foods in the regular aisles. Where's your brother?"

           "Busy." Lucy says a little shortly. "Too busy to say goodbye apparently."

           "Oh, god, it wasnt anything my mother said or did was it? Was she too outrageously offensive?"

          "You mean besides accusing him of being a child molester? Not really." The sweet softness of her voice understandably has a bit of an edge to it.

           "She is such a bitch. I am so sorry." Denny says quietly enough that she won't be heard.

             "Hardly your fault."

            "Lucy." Mrs Singer calls. "Wgo's your little freind." Like she can reasonably call anyone little.

            "Just one of my worshippers." Lucy smiles. Mrs. Singer rolls her eyes. The other does not look the least amused. 

           "Denny Hanlon, right?" Mrs. Singer offers a hand. Does that mean Lucy mentioned her. "I heard alot about you. Mostly in regards to Mr. Epstein's heart attack."She winks, though she's clearly looking past Denny as she does so.

           "Gabrielle." Wonderful, her mother's caught up. "I see you're back in town. Still without that mysterious husband of yours either. Do you have a picture yet?"

           "Of course not. After all he doesnt actually exist. He's just an artificial construct created to boost my respectability in town. You know, because I clearly care so much about the opinions and approval of people like you." Owch. Denny can't help but smile, while Lucy looks oddly proud for some reason. "Oh, you've met my sister, Lucy. This is my big sister, April."Who doesn't seem to like having her name spoken. I believe you also met our brother Michael the other day as well." 

      Oh. Sisters. Lucy and Mrs. Singer do look a little alike. Though April doesn't even slightly.

       "We share a father." Lucy says helpfully. April actually cracks the tiniest of smiles at this. She doesnt look biracial. Her mother must have been black as night. Or their father was mixed. How would those genetic even work? Well, however it did, his children are friggin gorgeous. "Where's Brett?"

         "He's helping set up for the scout meeting tonight. He's an actual fucking boyscout, if you believe it."

         "Language, Denise."

        "No, I do. Michael's the same way. He's a veteran, the most elite of the highest honors." Though she says it less like, boy scout and more like can rip out your spine with his teeth, if he felt like it. Granted she is looking icily at Denny's mother as she says it. She must be as protective of him as Denny is of Brett.

        "He's still in recovery from the last battle in fact," April adds just as frostily.  Her mother flushes a little.

        "Show me those hidden health foods, would you, Denny?" Lucy slios her arm into Denny's. "If I must eat, I wont eat toxic garbage."

         "Of course," Denny smiles and leads her off down the aisle. "By the way, I was serious about Brett wanting you to go with him to the dance Saturday. He's just too shy to ask you himself. now, i know he's kind of... straight laced, but he's really sweet and thoughtful. And even if you dont want to see him again, he will show you a good time. And he wont be a dick if you say no. He'll just get those sad eyes which is worse because I'll have to deal with it all weekend at least."

         "Will your mother be okay with that? She doesn't seem to care for my family." A thoughtful question, though it strikes Denny as kind of odd just the same. 

        "Don't worry about that." Denny snorts. "What Brett wants Brett gets. He can do no wrong in Mommys eyes. Doesn't mean she won't be bitchy to you, but..."

        "I can handle bitchy." Lucy smiles, considering the invitation. "Are you sure he's the one who wants to go out with me, though?" Denny is surprised at the question.

       "Oh, I'm not..." she starts to protest when Lucy's lips touch her own. Holy shit. No one has ever been that good of a kisser. Not even Evan who's supposed to be a big man and all. He kisses like he's trying to devour your face. This is like a seranade to your very soul. "I.... didn't think I was a lesbian," Denny manages when she draws back again, looking back in case her mother saw. Of course she obviously didn't as a Denny wasn't physically hauled from the store. "So, is that a no to Brett?"

         "Only if its a yes from my devotee."

         "Hah." Denny laughs, looking down. "No... no... I'm.... no... just... no, I'm sorry. Freinds, though?"

         "I have no use for freinds. Partners in crime on the other hand." Lucy gives a conspiring wink.

         "That works for me." Denny smiles. "Look, if you decide you do want to maybe go out with Brett, I won't tell him about this. So..."

         "He has a problem with different sexualities?"

          "Oh, god, no. He's more ofthe chivalrous wont make a move on someone he thinks his sister likes sort. Not that its been an issue. And if I told him you being a good kisser would come up and he'd read too much into it." Denny punches Lucy in the arm. "Hey, why dont you come to the scout meeting? You can get a glimpse of my brother in action, doing more than being embarrassed."

          "He wasnt actually embarrassed." He just felt he should be."

          "No, trust me he was." Denny insists. "He doesnt have the right affect some times but its different when its just us. He's just uncomfortable, thats all." Lucy just shrugs and accepts it, looking a little closed off herself."I hope you're not upset that I don't..." 

        "I don't consider making you question your sexuality something to be upset about. I consider it quite an acheivement given what i have to work with."

      "Oh, please, you could tempt a saint, and i'm no saint." Denny laughs. Lucy's smile implies both that she has and regrets nothing. "Oh, theres Buccaneers Bounty, you'll love this." 

 

          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NARCISSITIC SUPPLY  
> Narcissistic Supply is anything that builds the narcissist’s ego up and re-affirms his feelings of superiority, grandiosity, and entitlement.
> 
> Not something you want when trying to rehabilitate an extreme narcissist, like Lucifer.  
> Poor Denny and Gabriel. They mean well.
> 
> Akupara is the hindu name for the world turtle.
> 
> 'It's turtles all the way down' a philosophical joke with the statement used to 'defend' an illogical position.


	8. Brother in Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael absolutely refuses to tolerate Lucifers shit and isn't fooled for a damn minute. What's more he can't believe Gabriel is falling for it. Lucifer murdered her after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raphael always seemed to me to be the jan brady of the family. Just kind of slid over and pushed aside by everyone, even the writers. Dont worry Raph, i know you're important too. You do you, baby boy.
> 
>  
> 
> Also im typing thus on my phone so i have to save frequently or i loose what ive written, sometimes i press the wrong button and post when i meant to draft. So bear with me for that. Thanks

         Raphael is waiting when Lucifer returns to the cart with Denny and piles of processed food in their arms. He frowns at the smudges of black beneath Denny's lower lip. The girl notices his gaze and puts a hand to her lips.

        "Oh shit!" She looks in the nearest reflective surface. "Going to the bathroom, mom!" She hauls ass before her mother can see or stop her.

      "Luce..."he stops himself from saying his full name. "Lucy. Don't."

      "I thought you'd want me to make freinds." Lucifer gives an innocent smile and walks past him to where Gabriel is tormenting Mrs. Hanlon. Though it's not her fault, the horrible woman keeps pushing.

       "Bree." Lucifer drapes his arms across his little sister's shoulders from behind, leaning forwards so they're cheek to cheek. "I've been thinking and it might be a good idea to help out with that scout meeting like the officer suggested yesterday morning. I assume Michael mentioned it."

       "No, actually." Gabriel sound surprised.

       "You're the fence climber." Mrs. Hanlon sounds smug. "You didnt know your little sister broke into the police parking lot the night before last? She was clad only in her underwear, covered in mud and twigs and blood." Raphael winces as they'd glossed over a few details so as not to worry her too much. "Poor thing was wandering lost in the woods. Must have taken something that disagreed with her."

       Raphael quickly mute a clearly outraged Lucifer so his delicate sensibilities don't explode into a major scene. 

      "How dare she go to the police when lost and injured." Gabriel mocks her, recovering so quickly only Raphael knows she was thrown at all. "I'll have a word with her, don't you worry." Mrs. Hanlon flushes a little. "And Lucy, you're wearing a tshirt at least until the sleep walking gets taken care of. No more arguments."  Lucifer's pissy look while turning away fits perfectly.

       "I'll make sure to remind Michael to lock the doors at night." Raphael adds helpfully. Lucifer starts to make his feelings on the muting known through various ancient obscene gestures hidden from all but Raphael's sight. He just ignores him, which is much easier to do visually than aurally.

       "I'm back. You can resume the festivities." The girl, Denny, announces seemingly oblivious to the tension. Thiugh she can't possibly be. "Are you coming to the meeting? Do you need directions?"

       "We would love to." Gabriel smiles taking a pen and paper out of a pocket where it was not physically possible to have been. They don't seem to notice. 

       "It starts at six. They're doing a cookout. It's not organic or kosher but worth it just the same." She nudges Lucifer, who shrugs before looking pointedly to Raphael. Personally, he'd as soon just leave him mute, but that would raise questions.

       "Very well," he sighs, returning Lucifer's voice. 

       "I'll try anything once," Luci smacks the girl a kiss.

       "We'll see you then." Mrs. Hanlon says crisply with a touch of false cheer. "Denise." She starts to leave. Denny gives a little wave and follows her.

      "Sister, I need to have a word with you." Raphael says firmly. "In private."

      "Alright, once we get this back home."

      "Now." He demands. Gabriel sighs and snaps her fingers, grinding time to a halt.

      "What?"

      "I think this is all a bad idea. Putting Lucifer with humans now. Its too fast and not good for any of them. He especially should not be allowed near that girl."

      "Denny isn't actually bad. She's just acting out, thats all. She needs a freind and someone as sweet as her can only be good for Lucy to be around. The same with her brother. Brett is an upright well behaved young man."

       "They're children and this is Lucifer! He's charming, manipulative, charismatic, and knows how to read and play people. The second they came around he started regaining what ever it is he was without when he apologized to you and I don't think that's a good thing."

        "I don't think it's as bad as you think it is, Raph. The darkness is gone from him. He's starting over."

        "I don't see that. I see him recovering from a set back and using the only tools he has left to him to regain control of the situation. I see Lucifer becoming the same damn person all over again."

        "That's the point, Raph." Gabriel frowns. "For Lucifer to become who he was supposed to be. Look, you don't understand the human experience. You don't understand how life altering it is. It's such a fundamental upset to everything you thought you were. It changes you. And you don't understand our brother either. You never got to experience his best. So you can't tell the difference."

         "I can tell when he's got you wrapped around his little finger. Dad only knows how much I've seen him do it, so I should recognize that." Raph snaps. 

         "Just because he never loved you, doesnt mean he never loved any of us." That shouldn't hurt nearly as much as it does or at all, for what Lucifer's love is worth.

        "Yes. He loved you. You were his favorite pet. From the very start he trained you to his call. That's why we thought you were dead when we realized you weren't with him. What else could have happened?"

        "You watch your fucking mouth.  I died standing against him!"

         "Yes. He put you down. Like anyone would when a bitch goes rabid and attacks her master. " Raphael wasnt planning on actually physically fighting his little sister, but when she hits him first the decision is taken out of his hands.

 

          Raphael paces furiously in the cottages back yard. If it wasn't bad enough that they started whaling on each other, actually rolling on the floor like quarreling infants, Michael had to come back early and break it up. They should have remembered the time freeze wouldn't catch him, not expanded to both archangels anyways. And even if Raphael did shift them into the veil so they didnt wreck the store, he should have had the self control not to be fighting with Gabriel in the first place.

         Being killed by Lucifer was the most painful experience in Gabriel's existence. Of course their father lied and implied she was truly dead as well. If Michael was in no condition to fight, neither was she. She was in this new body pulled from death with a blood spell, graceless, helpless. Not just human but one in a coma, she was trapped in her own mind every bit its own cage. If their father had let on that she was even there that much, there would have been no keeping Lucifer from going after her no matter what the impending threat, none.

         From the moment he left, to when he was caged, he'd looked for her. He was convinced Michael or at least Raphael knew where she was or were keeping her from him.  Lucifer couldn't believe she'd just walked away from them all any more than Raphael or Michael could.

        When the war was over and Lucifer caged, she still didn't appear. That's when Raphael felt in the depths of his heart that she was dead and probably had been all along. He was sure that the pain caused by her love of her brother pitted against the love of all else in creation had been too much and she'd finally given into the call of the empty and somehow found a way to cast herself into the abyss. An alternative to having to choose who to hurt.

       That's also why when their father, who was the only one besides Michael to love Lucifer more thsn Gabriel, revealed the ultimate plans, the apocalypse, it was clear he'd given up all hope.  When he disappeared himself, Raphael could only believe he'd done the exact same thing. After all wasn't Gabriel his messenger? Heralding is very actions? Of course her death would prelude his.

       In truth Michael was the only reason Raphael forced himself to endure. Michael, broken hearted, dutiful Michael made himself keep going to hold everything together enough to function almost as it should. Raphael knew if he was gone too, Michael would have just crumbled. Maybe not for love of his little brother. After all Raphael was only ever second best in anyone's heart.  But no one else knew what Michael needed or could take care of him. No one would ever have even thought that Michael could even need to be taken care of too.

         Lucifer took everyone who loved him, tore them all to peices, and he didnt even care. Because nothing, absolutely nothing is more important to Lucifer than Lucifer. He loved Gabriel, but he killed him. Its not even feasable that they were matched evenly enough for that to have been his only option. He killed Gabriel. After seeing her for the first time after thousands of years of endless searching. 

        And he loves Michael as well with a feirce passionate intensity that could endure no opposition without violence, physical or emotional. And would tolerate no rivals for his affection. But he was willing to fight his first and best love to the death. And whatever the outcome it would have been the end of Michael. There was no real victory to be had.

         And Lucifer could do this because he loved them only as an extension to himself and his wants and his needs and if they didnt serve that, what good were they. No. Lucifer doesnt love Raphael because his little brother refuses to cater to him and his ego. Raphael is not useful to him, and there for not important.

       Maybe it wasnt always like that. Raphael is fairly sure that when he was a fledgeling he was merely an accident prone nuisance. He does recall almost killing Lucifer while trying to weild Michael's sword and failing. Michael of course put himself in the way. His injury was what Lucifer found truly inexcusable. But even more unforgivingly he took up Michael's attention. Lucifer viewed him as a rival back then, and maybe similarly to how Raphael first viewed the troublesome Gabriel. But whatever bonds they could have been slowly forming were irrevokably severed when Lucifer took the Mark.

       The Lucifer re-emerging is not the one who accepted the ultimate burden on his brothers behalf. Or even the one slowly being poisoned by it, who placed himself between Raphael and the Leviathan in those last throes of battle on the second day. He didn't have to. The war was pretty much won and if Raphael had been lost, it wouldnt have mattered. But he still risked himself.

       No, no, this is the one who decided that instead of humbling himself to a creation he didn't feel worthy of him, he would rather destroy everything Raphael ever held dear. But he didn't have to agree with it. Heaven knows Raphael didnt see anything special about humanity or why they should be gifted those shining souls. But it was enough that their father, who created them and gave them all everything they had and were, asked them to. So Raphael humored him. Lucifer couldn't even try.

        That Lucifer, this one, will seduce and surely destroy that young girl for the sole purpose of hurting her mother for a slight to one he considers part of him again. He's only going to take Gabriel and Michael and tear them to shreds all over again. And he'll do it thinking he's right. Raphael can't be the only one who can see this. He can't.

        Gabriel will probably be able to pick up the peices and pull herself back together again. Michael may doubt it but she's already proven stronger and more capable than they ever expected her to be. Besides her husband and his family will forgive her and do everything they can to help her through whatever happens no matter what. Because thats just what those idiots do. Ib fact they do it so well and so frequently that she began to think it could be done for Lucifer as well.

          But Michael... all Michael really has is Raphael. Adam may one day forgive him, but it'll never be much more than grudging tolerance. Alex is helpful but its purely professional and is barely more than a psychologial bandaid. He nearly depleted his own grace protecting Adam in the cage. And when Lucifer was taken out and he could safely shove Adams soul out the cracks, he was left alone. Being locked in bolstered only with his own sense of self righteousness may not have been fun for Lucifer, but being trapped alone with the weight of guilt and the sense of his own failures destroyed Michael, stripped him of even the strength to end it all. He's still so diminished, weak, faded. There's no way he can survive that kind of pain again. He doesnt deserve this. He never did.

          An ache starts to well up within him and a  desperate desire not to witness the emotional carnage he feels helpless to stop and is utterly incapable of healing.  Finally Raphael understands why Gabriel ran. But he's not Gabriel. He doesnt give a shit about Lucifers pain or his side, only Michael and Gabriel and he won't abandon them. Even if he's essentially useless. If they won't give up, then he won't. And he'll fight with them, for them, to fix the bastard because anything less is unacceptable.

         If only there was someone else who understood Lucifer the way he does. Someone who wouldn't be taken in, who could help him in this. Someone more intimate with Luci's inner workings than anyone should have to be. Someone people actually listen to. And there is. Of course there is.  What's more he even overcame him in a battle of wills, if only breifly. Someone he'd pretty much rather do anything than turn to.

           Raphael sighs and takes himself to one of the cheap motel rooms the winchesters are currently using. Fortunately he gets the right one. Unfortunately, though not unexpectedly the man's not alone. 

        "Brother," He forces himself to acknowledge him. "I need your help,"


	9. Scouts Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer begins to reclaim his first devotee and decides to start a new game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paseh-  
> is enochian for infant. Can be used  
> either mockingly or affectionately.  
> Often misheard by humans as  
> 'pasha'
> 
> Nee-san is big sister in japanese,  
> informal,  
> Nii-san is big brother.
> 
> Angels are multidemensional wavelengths of celestial intent, aka angels are essentially songs. Therefore a term of deep affection is 'you're my favorite song'. Not neccessarily romantic more like b.f.f.s.

 

        Lucifer can plainly see that something happened. Raphael requested to talk, then immediately grabs the cart and walks off to the register. Where as Gabriel is suddenly furious to the point of tears and says nothing with a very loud silence.

      "Gabriel."he says gently with the soft 'a' and second harder accent on the 'el' the way it's supposed be said, close to Gabrielle, but not quite. "Gabriel. Talk to me," he keeps his voice soft and low, and places his hand on her back right between where her wings should be. 

       "It's nothing. Raph... we had a disagreement thats all. She'll be taking the food home, we'll walk over to the park. Its not far."

      "Are you alright?"

      "I'm fine." Gabriel gently brushes Lucaz cuffi's hand away. Though the touch helped soothe her as much as it used to, even in this form she holds her tension between her wings. "Lets go, we can wade in the fountain before the troop meeting. It's a huge fountain. It was a compromise with people who wanted a swimming pool.

      "Very well," Lucifer follows her quietly, just observing her. It was more than a disagreement. The way she's rubbing her shoulder speaks to an out and out brawl. She and Raph may bicker a lot, but for it to explode into outright violence is rare. Much rarer than it ever was for him and Michael. And almost as certain to end badly for Gabriel as it did for Lucifer.

       Not for the first moment he misses his wings. He wants to sweep his baby sister into his arms, enfolding her in them until her hurts are gone. It was always too quickly that she'd leave and either demand or offer an apology. Though she should never have had to. Its so obvious now that beneath the pain and scars is still his Gabriel. His father's gift, a song written just for him. How did he let himself forget that?

      It was his fault entirely what happened between them. He sees it now. She'd been lost, confused, manipulated, and he'd forgotten how to soothe her. He saw her sword and read enemy instead of scared and alone. He should have known better. He should have known her better.

       He should have spoken sweetly to her, told her that he understood, that he'd finally found her now and she didnt have to hide anymore. But no, he believed what they wanted him to believe and let his hurt at her perceived betrayal sharpen his words. Of course, she would bite back, the poor feral thing. After all if he barely recognized his favorite song, how could he expect her to really see the loving perfect brother behind the bitter armor he'd been forced to don. She didn't know what she was doing.

      "Did he hurt you, paseh?" Lucifer asks gently, keeping his vouce as soothing as possible.

      "I gave as good as I got. Thats one thing about the aesir. They fight dirty more often than not. I picked up a few tricks he wasn't expecting me to know." She smirks. "Don't worry about me. I'm tougher than I look."

         "You'd have to be." Luci teases, rubbing his fingers through her hair from the nape of her neck to her brow. But instead of the pleased but embarrassed reaction she'd normally give at his affection, Gabriel is annoyed by this, and brushes his hand away yet again.

        "Don't... pet me. I'm not your dog."

        "What a thing to say." Lucifer can't help but feel offended. "I wasn't petting you, and of course you aren't. Who... did that little mudslide say something like that? Of course, he would think that way, with how he's always nipping at Michael's heels. You're not a pet, you're my favorite s..."

        "Don't." Gabriel cuts him off, softer, but still sincere. "Just... don't."

       "Very well," Lucifer crosses his arms a bit hurt, but its to be expected. She's still wounded. He'll have to get her back by degrees. He has time, and the fact that she's here, with him, doing her best for him however misguided it may be, proves that she's not as lost to him as he once thought. "I enjoyed the playlist you made me. And Michael's reactions to it almost equally." He smiles at her. Gabriel chuckles at the thought.

       "He doesn't have quite the same sense of humor as we do." She looks over to him, still smiling.

       "Or any sense of humor at all."

       "C'mon, he does, a little." Gabriel protests, though not very strongly.

     "Biting sarcasm is an offensive, not a sense of humor."

      "Potayto, potahto." She shrugs.

      "I don't follow."

      "Same thing, different way to say it. You know, like, 'your butt looks huge in those jeans' and 'oh, no, you look fine, its just the angle of the mirror." This gets another laugh from Lucifer. "I'm glad to see you getting along with Denise."

       "She's amusing. Her brother is interesting as well. He wants me to go to a dance with him on saturday."

       "You should. Its something to experience. And you're too young for clubs."

       "Really? Do you think Michael and Raphael would be alright with that?" Not that he cares, but its odd to think that Gabriel might not.

       "They can kiss my ass. This is my task, they're just helping and neither of them understand this experience like we do." Like we do. The phrasing warms his pride, because its true, they're sharing a view of humanity the others have never had. As terrible a thing as it is, it will be binding them together, maybe even closer than they were before. 

       "I will then."

       "You... will?" She seems surprised, and stops walking, to look at him. Lucifer just smiles, letting her bask in his benevolent indulgence for a moment.

       "Well, with what you've done for me, are doing, its hardly too much to ask of me." He puts a hand to her cheek. Did she forget he kind he is?She must have. He'll have to remind her. "A few hours of dancing? Nothing I havent participated in before." He teases, though this joke falls flat.

        "No, this is nothing like what you've participated in before and it better not be." She tenses up again and moves from his touch.

        "Obviously, i was teasing,"he chides her," and meant only in the loosest sense. I'd hardly think you were trying to prostitute me out to strange young men. For the sake of revenge or otherwise." Luci can't help but guess that the distress it would cause the twins mother is a factor in the request.

         "Oh, dad, no. No. I'd prefer you didn't. And his mother's reaction is a perk only, not the point of it."

         "What is the point?"

         "I just... want you to experience things. Everything, really. That wont do you harm."she adds.

          "Such as?"

          "Dancing, karaoke, manual labors, sports, gardening, making things, there are all sorts of persuits. Rock climbing. Hang gliding. We have to go hang gliding, swimming. Maybe horseback riding. I'm not sure. I want to ride an emu but that would probably involve going to australia." She shudders a bit unconciously.

         Why is she afraid of Australia. Its not like there's anything that could hurt.... oh, she must have found that angel with the spiders. That was an exquisite  peice of torture if he does say so himself. He'd made it very clear back in babylon that Gabriel was to be captured and brought to him unharmed and that reprobate spears her wings with a spear scorched in holy fire. He had to make sure that no one else even dared disobey him on that again.

         Having his grace trapped in a vessel slowly being consumed and colonized by a dozen types of extremely deadly spiders over the course of hundreds of years seemed appropriate. If he lasted that long. He was very well hidden. Lucifer almost wants to ask when she found him and if she left him alive, but that's not exactly a part of her beloved big brother she needs to focus on right now. 

        "We're at the edge of a wild life preserve too,"Gabriel continues. "There are so many trails, we could hike for weeks. We could hike from coast to coast if you wanted. There are some wilderness preservation projects I could get us involved in."

         "Good afternoon, Mrs. Singer." Boyscout Brett hails them from a stone firepit nearby. "Ms. Pivensie."

         "Brett, hi. We just ran into your mother and sister at the grocery store, and thought we'd volunteer to help with your meeting tonight." Gabriel walks over to him.

          "That would be wonderful. There are about thirty five of us and we all need to teach someone something which wouldnt be a problem if most of us all didn't have the same badges." Bretts warm smile doesnt quite extend all the way, cooling considerably in his eyes. Just like at the cottage. He was an almost perfect fascimile of flustered embarrassment.

        "No uniform?" Gabriel asks.

        "Not when there's a cookout."he grins. "After having to reorder an average of four uniforms due to mustard stains, the parents decided that cookouts are uniform free."

        "Maybe you should have just taught them to remove mustard stains." Lucy remarks.

        "But then they'd have to wear their uniforms to cookouts." Brett says innocently and turns back to the coals. By which he means then he'd have to wear his uniform to cookouts.  Lucifer smiles and looks away.

         He can see the fountain, its spray sparkling in the sun. It evokes the memory of his wings alongside Michael's. Before the first day, before the mark, before they froze into crystals of ice, no less lovely, but not the same. 

      "We won't be starting for an hour or so."he continues, "You should take the time to enjoy the park before its overrun." Lucifer can't help but notice his involuntary glance to the fountain and gives Brett a knowing smile.

        "That's a good idea."he slips off his shoes and walks over to the fountain, immersing himself in the misty spray. Its cold but not too cold and the droplets on his skin shine and sparkle in the sun. If only humans could live in the water. You could out them there anyway. Just toss them all in the ocean, free this paradise for beings that deserve it, bled and died for it. But then the ocean would be ruined. Disintegration is much tidier.

       It doesnt matter at the moment though. Right now all that matters is that he get back what belongs to him. Poor little lost Gabriel first and foremost. He has time, and toys to play with. Not that it'll be easy to play with the useless one breathing down his neck. It'll just be a challenge thats all. That woman will learn which of the four she should have been keeping her children from. Its definitely not Michael.

         There's a freezing splash of water against the back of his neck almost completely drenching him. He turns to see Gabriel leaning out over the water, smirking at him, having made the enormous splash likely by tweaking physics.

          "Have we finished the photo shoot yet?" She sends another small wave his way.

          "Oh, this is how we're going to play?" Luci smiles, kicking a small wave back. It soon degenerates into a no holds barred wrestling match, where they generally avoid trying to drown each other. Its kind of nice not having to hold back for fear of hurting her. 

         Of course, the knowledge that Gabriel definitely is, almost takes that away. Having Gabriel being stronger, more beautiful, and in charge of him, or any of them is more grating than he cares to think about.

       But it doesn't matter. It's only temporary. And its clear that Gabriel  is aware of how inappropriate the state of affairs is. Why else would she let him win?

       "You didn't take off your boots." Luci nudges her leg with his.

      "Never. I love these boots." She lifts them. "I tortured a man for these boots."

       "Didn't you oppose me because of your love of mankind? Yet you torture them for footwear? What changed your mind?"

       "Nothing. I still love mankind. It's people I cant stand." Gabriel splashes him a bit. "I didnt really torture him for the boots persay. That was just a perk. I was teaching him a lesson,"

       "And that lesson was?"

       "Not to harrass strange women on the street primarily, but also that if one offfers to do unspeakable things to your body in exchange for a pair of boots, you should pay attention to her exact words." She waggles her eyebrows. Lucifer just starts laughing so hard he actually falls back into the water.

         "Did he learn his lesson?"

          "I doubt it. To be honest, sometimes my lessons are more satisfying than they are effective. Some people just won't learn." Gabriel shakes her head.

            "Banzai!" There's a splash next to them as  Denny plops down into the foot deep water. "Hello, Mrs. Singer. I've been meaning to ask, how old are you anyways?" The implication being that she certainly doesnt act like an adult.

       "Younger than the sun, older than the moon." Gabriel gets to her feet. "I'm going to go dry out. You kids have fun."

        "I think you ruined your boots," Denny frowns at the absolutley drenched red leather thigh highs. 

        "Nope, these things are indestructable." She's clearly using her angelic powers to keep them so. They must have sentimental value. And right at that moment, Lucifer remembers he's wearing already tight leather pants.

         "How close do you live?" One of Denny's skirts or shorts should fit.

          "Don't worry." Gabriel pulls a bag out of her purse thats slightly bigger than would fit. Though its doubtful most of the apes would notice, some of them are fairly observant. 

           And fortunately the bag has nothing more amusing than a white button down shirt, pleated skirt and knee socks. Also a tie for some odd reason. And even odder he feels the urge to take that tie and strangle someone with it until the blood vessels burst in their green eyes until they just stop looking at him with that stupid expression. Which is an oddly specific feeling for an otherwise cute blue tie to evoke. He just tosses it in the fountain instead.

          "You know, you can't just..." Denny starts to say as luci strips to his skivvies and puts them on. "They're actually a bit picky about public nudity."

          "Who was nude?" He wrings out his things and tosses them over the nearest branch to dry.

           "Um, they count underclothing as nude. The town is kind of prissy. So, you're going to St. Joan's?"

          "I'm what?"

         "The catholic school. Thats their uniform."

         "Really, paseh?" He cant help but snap at his sister. She just laughs, of course. Always pushing. Always. He's really going to have to speak to Michael about taking her in hand. Though he was never so inclined to indulge her before. Why is he now?

          The park quickly fills up with tiny humans adamant on mass distruction.

         "Lily!" Denny squeals racing over to where her mother is pushing a stroller over. "Are we watching Lily?" She asks, scooping a bundle out of it. "Aww, hows my widdle fweind?" Lucifer hopes he's not making the face he wants to make, as he's fairly sure it'll be counter productive to winning Denny over.

         "You are watching Lily while your Aunt Beth takes a few moments for herself. Everythings in the diaper bag." Mrs Hanlon instructs. "Place her in the shade."Denny nods and offers to hand the child to luci for some god forsaken resason.

        "I'm not hungry." He walks over to the empty carriage and pushes it over to the nearest shaded area. Denny just rolls her eyes and follows. Interestingly enough the infant in question seems as annoyed and underwhelmed by the proceedings as he does.

        And of course, Mrs Hanlon follows behind with a large quilt. She mostly ignores Luci except for clear disdainful glances at her outfit. This is probably due to the fact that the white button down shirt is put on over a very wet black lace bra. He just gives her a beatific smile and adjusts a bra strap.

           "I'm going to go help your brother with preparations," she looks away.

           "I think I will too," Lucifer decides as Denny seems wrapped up in the tiny somber creature. 

          "No, you just... dry off,"Mrs Hanlon gives him a dismissive wave. It's almost cute how she seems to think he'll listen to her. And ironic as for all her sideways glances this is just the kind of woman who would be debasing herself in numerous obscene and humiliating ways for his attentions if he were in a proper vessel.

       Lucifer glances over to Gabriel pretending to fight with a bunch of little ones weilding cardboard tubes as swords. Not a single one even touches her, of course. Though it doesnt discourage their persuit. They're delighting in her acrobatics, especially the one where she grabs a branch, swings herself up to it and hangs down, grabbing their weapons from them. When she smacks them with it, they fake tumble to the ground, some really dramatically. Its almost adorable and similar to when she'd disrupt training or rest time to play with the fledgelings when there were fleglings to play with. 

          "Your sister is interesting," Brett says as Luci comes over.

          "You're obviously refering to Gabrielle." He looks back at her again, though this time she's pretending to be dead before rising up and attacking the more daring boys approaching her.

          "You have another sister?" Brett brushes some ashes off the grate.

          "I have two sisters and a brother. Michael, Gabrielle,.... April," he cant help but smile at the name. Maybe if he can just convince Gabriel to limit her pranks to Raphael. The little brat needs to learn his place again. Speaking of which... "You dont have a pen do you?" He smiles sweetly at Brett who takes one from a nearby table and hands it to him.

     Good, he cant keep the usurper from monitoring him ,but he can make it harder and keep him out of his thoughts. Lucifer just sits on the edge of the pit and inks warded sigils into her skin as Brett silently watches. Better to do multiple wards in case one gets damaged.

      "Bored?" He asks after a moment.

      "Not exactly."

      "So..."

      "So, I wanted to tell you that if you truly did want me to go to that dance with you, I would."

      "Why?" He's right to sound suspicious.

      "I find you interesting and have nothing better to do than play with you." Luci gives his sweetest smile. Brett raises an eyebrow for a moment before looking down at the plate of raw hamburgers his mother gives him.

        "You dont mean that." He gives a sweet smile of his own, though Brett clearly knows that he absolutely does. "You're like Denny, you talk tough but inside you're just a big softie," he obviously knows Luci isnt. Lucifer just laughs and shakes his head.

       "Where as everyone knows you are exactly as you seem to be." Lucifer takes a patty and plops it in the grating. "So what do you want with sweet little me?"

        "Nothing but your company. I know its not the fad these days, but I believe in being a gentleman." Ah, covert seduction. Its a sweet set up especially going after 'bad girls'. He acts the gentleman, trying to reform them. With a sort of wild sister, theyd beleive the 'they're good inside schtick." And if he does seduce them either she keeps it a secret or she's a siren who seduced an manipulated him, thats even if anyone believes her. Either way he comes out on top.

        So how exactly would Lucifer gain victory? Thanks to the angels breathing down his neck, he's extremely limited in what he can do. Maybe make him expose his true self or simply deny him all satisfaction, socially, physically, maybe emotionally. Make him become the villain in their sweet childhood romance. This could be fun. Neccessity is the mother of invention after all.

         "Who could object to that? So when is this dance?"

        "I should really speak to your parents about this as well. Will your father be picking you up tonight?"

       "Daddy bailed a very long time ago. Its just the four of us."he knows he's being terse but its excusable, "My sister Gabrielle is my guardian, I suppose." The thought of Gabriel as his very own guardian angel is almost enough to make up for the little monkey bringing up parents. But then again there is the thought of Brett Hanlon approaching Daddy dearest to ask permission to go on a date with Lucifer and laughter wins out.

        "She does seem like an odd choice for guardian." 

       "I suppose if you're insisted.on purchasing women from male heads of family, then its Michael you ahould be asking." Lucifer can't help but say. It'll be interesting to see what he'll say to that. He'll refuse of course but what can he really say since Gabriel approves.

          "Thats not what I'm doing." Brett frowns. 

          "Don't kid yourself, baby boy. You're asking the man of the house permission to borrow me like a lawn mower. Though if that not the case, maybe I should be asking your mothers permission to date you."

          "I wouldnt. She'd refuse."

          "Thats so sweet that you think it would matter." Luci tweaks his nose.

    

        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone whos ever been deeply involved with a narcissist in any way is well aware of how they change their view of reality to better suit themselves.
> 
> Lucifer can't handle a view of Gabriel strong enough, brave enough to rebel against her assigned roles, first by walking off the chessboard and then by sacrificing herself in an attempt to overturn it. Its why he was so thrown when Gabriel confronted him at that hotel, why he killed her. Probably the only action he truly utterly regrets.
> 
> So he changes it, painting them both as the victim, rewriting her as a helpless lost child unaware what she was doing. He loves her and wants her around, but can only accept it by completely denying Gabriel her own agency. 
> 
> Narcissitic coping mechanisms do work so far as stabilizing the narcissist, but as Raphael pointed out. That's not neccessarily a good thing if you're trying to cure them.
> 
> Ps. I am so sorry about the spiders. I was silently screaming inside as I wrote it. I still feel like tearing off my own skin, i am so, so sorry.


	10. Man of the House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael returns early, has his first soda, and despairs of unserstanding humanity. All while expertly pissing off both Lucifer and his would be suitor. 
> 
> Raphael and Gabriel make up and bond over ways to subtly torment their big brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Gabriel is calling Michael nee-san (big sister) on purpose.
> 
> Kocho is japanese for nightingale.
> 
> Culicidae is the scientific name.for mosquitos.

        In the grand tradition of Gabriel not thinking things through as well as she ought to have, the next branch she perches on, can't take her weight. It's only luck that Michael makes his way over in time to catch her before she's forced to either perform a miraculous landing or explain how she sustained a fifteen foot fall, head first without significant injury.

      "Here you go." She hands the kite she was fetching to the little scout who nods a thank you and runs back towards his family.

      "Are you okay?"

      "Of course, nee-san's here." Gabriel grins dramatically posing with her head on Michael's shoulder and arms around his neck, playing up the whole princess carry hold he somehow caught her in. "Okay, Michael, put me down." She pats his chest. He just gives a rather suspicious half smile and drops her torso, changing his grip to hold her upside down by the ankles. Fortuately her shirts tucked in well enough not to flash the meeting.

      "While I would love to have you hurl me up into the atmosphere again at some point, now is probably not the time or place." She forces her body to bend up at the waist until she can grab at his arm and sleeve. "Michael... Nee-san... Please?"

        "Stay out of the treetops, kocho." He puts her down."Why aren't you watching Lucifer?" He doesn't bother with the pretense as its a simple matter to render their conversation inaudible.

        "I am. He's right there with the twins. You didn't have to come back yet if you didn't want to. Everything's fine here."

       "I thought maybe you might like to go back home for the night after your fight with your brother."

       "You call that a fight? Please. By norse standards that was a minor disagreement. Anyways I told the old ball and chain I'd be gone for at least a week. If I go back early he'll get suspicious." Gabriel shrugs. "Besides, they're on a hunt, and still havent gotten all the glitter out of the car. And while we all know it doesnt work, getting stabbed in the chest with a large stake isnt exactly my idea of fun."

        "I see." Michael looks over to see the girl Denny hold out a baby to Lucifer who just sort of leans back away. The look on his face is incredibly similar to the one he had when introduced to the infant Raphael and again when Gabriel was created. He was never exactly delighted at the creation of more things, at least he wasn't for the first few moments before he got Gabriel's first delighted smile and decided that this one would be his and he'd teach her to be a much better sister than Michael who could keep his stupid Raphael. Of course, he never looked at their siblings with nearly that much distaste.

       "Raphael thinks you're putting the twins at risk by encouraging contact." Michael frowns. Their brother despises humanity. Whatever his plans for them can't be good.

       "Raphael can kiss my ass." Gabriel replies sweetly. "I won't let anything happen to them. I'm not an idiot, and I do know what I'm doing. Do you see how her true face is illuminated? And how her brother's isnt? They have nothing to fear from him."

       Michael takes a second look at the girl. She does have a bright face, doubly so to anyone around her. It made that idiotic shirt even more irritating. Her brother however is dull as lead. Except when he touches her in any way. Then he glows. Soul mates maybe? Or something else. It can't be what it looks like. They're not the right kind of twins for that to even be possible. At least he doesnt think so, but looking into the genetic code confuses him at the best of times. Besides identical twins are always the same sex.

    "You think they can handle Lucifer?" 

     "Oh, hells no. Thats what we're here for. I think they can handle themselves, which is half the battle." Gabriel nudges his arm when the boy touches his sisters hand. He's illuminated by it. He's going to have to ask Raphael about this when he returns.

        Whats worse though is the memory it evokes. Its still so raw, the one he just shared with Alex of the way Lucifer shone so brightly. He'd once said to Michael that sometimes he doesn't think he shines that brightly at all, that it's everyone else's light that magnifies and breaks inside him, coloring the world. That when they say he's beautiful, they don't realize they're really complementing themselves. But what could be more beautiful than showing people a better version of themselves. How is that not a lovliness unique to him. And when did those reflections become a mockery?

         He can't even bear to look too long at the rainbow spray of the fountain or even the fire pit nearby. Michael and Lucifer, fire and water which soon became fire and ice. So often a struggle and a war, but when they got it right indescribable. Most humans consider them oppossing forces. Irreconcilably different, but Alex somehow understood. They're each other's cure. Water to sooth the burns, fire to dry and melt the bitter cold. When did Michael stop being enough to thaw him?  Fire and Ice can't help but be bitter enemies but fire and water could be divine. A hot tub, a sauna, a healing broth, tea, or Gabriel's favorite hot chocolate.

         Alex once made a comment about that when she learned of the archangels and their relation to the elements. How hot chocolate combined all three of their elements, Fire, water, earth. It could be symbolic of her love for her siblings, of her missing them, though that'd be true of tea as well. Of course, alex said sometimes its just a coincidence, and everybody likes hot chocolate enough for it not to have to be unconcious symbolism. But that sounds alot like how Gabriel's mind works. Not that Michael ever actually understood how Gabriels mind works. 

        "I dont understand what you're trying to do. That is, I don't understand the how."

         "I know. Neither does Raphael. but at least you have some faith in me." Gabriel sounds so bitter.

          "He has faith in you, paseh. He's just worried for you. How often do you get hurt? How often do you over reach? The last time you pitted yourself against our brother you died." Michael knows its not nearly as painful for him to say it as it is for Gabriel to hear it, but she has to know how much that sticks with him. Does she even know though that she called for them in her dying moments. The longing and sorrow that hit them both just as she faded from existence. She can't expect them not to think of that, especially now.

         "By died you mean was put down like a rabid dog." The bitterness in her voice has Raphael written all over it.

         "Not even slightly." He says as firmly as possible. He will definitely have to have words with Raphael.

         "I can do this. With my family beside me what can't I do?" She truly sounds like a Winchester right now. At least her siblings are included in that again. 

         That was the trouble though, how much of her boredom driven pranks were just a need to be near her siblings. Instead of taking her in hand, they just begged their father to occupy her, sending her further and further out of the way. They pushed her away long before she left them

          "I won't abandon you again." Michael kisses the top of her head. "We'll get him back. And Raphael will help us because he loves you even if he doesnt agree."

           "If this is how he's going to be about it, I'd rather he didn't. He never cared about Luci the way we did." Gabriel crosses her arms though the sulkiness of her tone shows shes perfectly aware why not.

         "Do you really blame him?"

         "No."she grumbles. "But his whole attitude isn't helping." Michael debates arguing the merits of a dispassionate third party, but is stopped by the approaching Hanlon twin.

         "Good afternoon, Mrs. Singer. Mr. Angelo." Brett nods to them both, "Would you care for a drink?" He offers them each a can. A nudge from Gabriel tells Michael to accept it, so he does.

         "Thank you."

         "I'm glad you could make it, sir. Luci wasn't sure if you'd be back any time soon. I can make you a burger or hot dog if you're hungry." Perfectly polite, perfectly respectful and perfectly suspicious.

          "No, thank you. Do you need something? " Gabriel's elbow tells him he's too abrupt, but the sooner the conversation is over the better.

          "Um, yes, Lucy tells me that you and your sister are her guardians, the head of the family, so to speak."

          "That's right." Gabriel smiles giving Michael a pleased look. A shakey claim to progress though. It's just him acknowledging a cover story. "Michael is currently the man of the house." Of course its only his siblings insistance that Michael is best classified as female that makes the statement at all humorous to his little sister.

       "True enough." Michael sighs. Gabriel pointedly opens her can of soda and takes a drink. So Michael goes to open his as well. "And thats relevant because...."

       "I'd like to ask your permission to take Lucy to the school dance this saturday." Brett looks hopefully at minthem. Michael holds himself absolutely still so as not to accidentally crush the can in his hands. He can't have heard the boy correctly. His sister had said he wanted to invite Lucy, but he was certain that was just a sibling teasing another. 

         "It's fine by me, Michael." Of course Gabriel would approve, and find it amusing. Every fiber of Michael's being screams 'absolutely not' and he wishes to grab hold of and shake some sense into this idiot child asking permission to court his.... no. The boy doesnt know what he's doing. He'll just 'remind' Gabriel that 'Lucy' is being punished and... Lucifer is looking at them.

          He's looking at them with an amused self satisfied smirk that clearly says he's playing games. He fully expects Michael to refuse. He doesnt intend to go out with this boy at all, does he? Well, two can play.

          "If that's what Lucy wants, you dont need my permission. She doesn't belong to me." Michael replies smoothly with the kindest smile he can manage, which doesn't appear to be all that kind. Whatever Lucifer reads of the interaction at that distance, doesnt please him at all.

          "I didnt mean it that way." He flushes, slightly annoyed.

          "No, I approve. You're a young man of good repute and i feel certain her virtue is safe in your hands." Michael lifts the can to his lips to conceal his barely repressed laughter. Gabriel doesnt even try.

           "Thank you, sir." Brett does not appreciate being mocked, and walks away as Gabriel is practically convulsing with laughter.  Michael catches Lucifers eye again and grins at him, taking a sip of the soda. Luci is completely unamused which is itself incredibly amusing. The drink is not.

           "This is acid." Michael frowns at the can. "They drink acid. This is a mistake." He looks to Gabriel who tilts the can to take a sip.

            "Nope. That's just soda. It's gotten better. They used to put cocaine in it."

            "I don't understand these creatures at all."

 

            When everyone has dispersed, Lucifer is still pointedly ignoring Michael. In fact he's keeping himself busy braiding the collection of wild flowers brought to him in tribute by the littlest scouts and not a few older. As little as he cares for humanity, he certainly doesn't seem to have a problem basking in their adoration.

          "Are you sure you wouldnt like to go home?" Michael offers as Gabriel finishes picking up garbage from under the picnic table.

           "Actually, I was thinking we could watch a few movies whike luci slept. You had a few things to say about my song choices so I figured I'd run the movies by you first."

          "That's not neccessary. You know very well what sort of thing I object to and why. If you insist on including such things regardless, its obviously for different more relevant reasons. Besides i have things to read and worksheets to complete."

          "She's giving you homework?" Gabriel sounds a bit surprised and impressed at anyone having the audacity to assign Michael anything. None of them seem to fully understand that he's no longer in a position of authority over anyone. 

            "Not exactly. They're exercises in reordering your thought processes. Tools to use, not orders. Some of the other tasks were helpful, so i have no reason not to try." Sometimes the concept is a little hard for Michael to really come to grips with as well.

          "So, you like Alex?" He's not entirely sure he likes the glint in Gabriel's eyes.

          "She's a kind, understanding, young woman, clearly skilled at her chosen profession." Michael clarifies the assertion, "That's all."

          "So you'd recommend her as a therapist?"

           "Of course."

           "So you'll be supportive if I ask her to assist us with Luci."

            "Absolutely not. He would eat her alive."

            "I wasn't thinking individual sessions, more like as a family, sort of relationship strengthening stuff. You know we've got to do something about our brothers. Lucifer doesn't appreciate Raphael in the slightest and he deserves so much better than that when he's not being a complete dick. I'd like to get Luci to at least admit that he cares about him."

         "I'm sure as soon as Raphael starts treating her with more than the barest respect and admiration, he will." They both just sigh at the idea as they know Lucifer would have to actually treat Raphael as more than an inconvenience for that. An endless bitter cycle of not giving a shit.

           "Where is Raph anyway? He has the car."

           "Does he have a phone?" Michael asks before remembering he's a damned archangel and can just call for his little brother directly. "We could also just go back to the cottage like the celestial beings we are and not waste time with this pointless human  nonsense."

         "Is there somewhere you need to be?" Gabriel teases, but thats not the point. The point is that.... that... he doesnt even know to be honest. He just feels restless and frustrated. Sometimes he does after meeting with Alex. But sometimes he feels better. Sometimes everything just feels empty and meaningless as if there was never a point to leaving the cage at all. Sometimes those feelings just come out of nowhere and no weapons will cut them away. "Michael? Is everything alright?"

        "Everything is as it has been. Don't worry about me, paseh." He smiles at her so she wont worry. The feelings will pass. They always do.

        "Bree." Luci walks pver and sweetly places the finished flower crown on her head. "Are we going home soon? I'm being pressed by humanity." He still very clearly ignores Michael.

          "The bathrooms are unlocked." Gabriel nods to the small plastic stalls in one corner. The look Lucifer gives her at this would wither a feild of dandilions. In truth basic sanitation issues aside, even Michael feels tense just looking at the small enclosed structure.

         "Those are far too small to be appropriate."Michael says, which earns him a flicker of acknowlegement. "I'll take you home." He touches Luci's shoulder and the two disappear. 

 

            Gabriel reminds herself that while patience is definitely a virtue, she's not very qualifies to preach it. And how the hell can she scold Michael about anything? Sure finding the rage and frustration to be willing to murder your siblings is easy, but trying to correct your big sister's behavior is another matter. Especially with petty stuff like this.

             But fine, if they can cheat so can she. She snaps the park clean and relatively tidy. Nobody really pays attention to little things like that anyway. She's tried to tell them that for little things like that, people don't pay attention at all. They could periodically just change clothing and no one would notice provided they weren't looking the moment of the switch.

              "Sister." Oh, Raphael is finally here. And feeling apologetic apparently.

             "Can I help you?" She crosses her arms.

             "I'm sorry." He says contritely.

            "I'm not an idiot, Raph. I knew what he'd become. Do you think I didn't hear? Every pantheon knew about the war. You could barely escape it." She shakes her head. It poisoned everything slowly turning all other conflicts into imperfect copies in public view.  "I was never his pet, no matter what any of you thought."

           "I shouldn't have said that. I know you aren't. I was just being an ass. Forgive me?" He looks so genuinely contrite, Gabriel cant stay mad. Thats one thing about Raphael, he makes no real attempt to counterfeit his feelings in any way. Not that he's overly expressive, but the expressions are always genuine.

        "Are you still pretending to hate hugs?" She can't help but tease, spreading her arms. Much to her surprise, her big brother actually embraces her. "I shouldnt have said that either. Lucifer loves you, even if he wont admit it. Just like you love him."

         "I don't want his love. All it does is destroy everything. I dont want it destroying you and Michael again. Once was enough."

         "Michael survived before, he..."

          "No. Gabriel, you werent there,"It stings like an accusation, but its merely a statement of fact. "You didnt see him, how the war just tore him to peices. And when he had to lock Lucifer away, he just.... stayed in the throne room, making it his own prison. He wouldnt do or say anything more than absolutely neccessary. It was all I could do to force him out occaisionally, to train, to see to a prophet or two. Joan was the closest he got to his old self, but even then there was only so much we were allowed to do. We could only protect against supernatural threats not human. After being forced to watch her burn it just got worse. And I couldnt do anything."

           "Its okay. I swear, I know what I'm doing. I did a shit ton of research and everything."

           "I'm going to do my best to help you, but I'm not seeing anything different and it has to be." Raphael sighs, letting go. 

          "You want different? He's going on a date with Brett Hanlon." If Raphael knows 

          "He kissed Denise Hanlon in the geocery store. Selfish, greedy, and screwing with fraternal bonds is fairly classic Lucifer."

         "She turned him down and he's still civil to her."

          "We all know an initial rejection means absolutely nothing."

          "Right." Gabriel sighs. "Look, its still early. He just stopped trying to kill himself two days ago. Thats progress, right?"

         "I don't know,"

         "Fine." Gabriel sighs. "Lets just go back. Do you want to watch some movies? Michael just wants to do some therapy stuff. Speaking of which, I'm asking Alex to start some family therapy sessions for the four of us. You will participate right?" Aside from lucifer, Raphael will be the hardest to convince.

         "I..." Raphael goes blank for a moment then covers his face with his hands. "Yes. I'll participate. But for the record, I appreciate what Alex has done for Michael but she is in no way prepared or qualified for any of this."

          "Raphi, I'm putting the devil into family therapy. There is not and never will be anyone who is even remotely more qualified than the person who helped bring Michael out of a near catatonic state after the cage. Only therapists who think they are and that's way worse. "Gabriel assures him. "Now, I'm starting to run out of prank ideas for Lucifer. Any thoughts?"

        "That you're a damned liar."

        "C'mon, family project. Operation take advantage of our older brothers powerlessness to torment him mercilessly with irritating but insignificant annoyances."

         "Arent code names supposed to use an actual code."

        "Fine, Operation Culicidae."

        "Thats still kind of obvious isnt it?"

       "How about Operation it doesn't fucking matter what we call it because we're never going to discuss it in front of anyone who cares much less actually refer to it by name."

        "Better, but a bit of a mouthful. Lets stick with culicidae," its the tiniest smile that lets Gabriel know Raphael is just screwing with her.

       "You know you need to do alot better than that with Lucifer," she tries not to sound too annoyed. 

         "Mandatory violin lessons. And she can't even start to learn to drive a car until she can play 'Down Bound Train' by Chuck Berry."

         "Nice. I like not going for the most obvious song choice. I think he might have learned while in Nick, though I'm not sure. It's a recent legend, but you just know he googled himself ar sime point. So the idea of actually being able to play the fiddle would amuse him. We could tweak it though. Maybe gospel hymns."

          "We could go alot farther with the quinces. We could start baking things with it.  And use it to make frangrances for various household products and give them away around town so he'll randomly come across people and places smelling of quince."

          "That... Raph, thats fantastic. You have a hidden gift. You really do." 

          "We should also probably mention to her that she's lactose intolerant at some point. Actualy, given he's drinking some of your chocolate milk right now, I probably should have mentioned it in the store." Raphael grins. Gabriel absolutely dies at this.

         "Ohhhh, that's fantastic. Have I told you I loved you lately? Because I really, really do." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of hard to escape being the baby of the family, isnt it? No matter what you do its hard to be seen as anything else even by the siblings who aren't or are only occaisionally complete dicks.
> 
> Gabriel only sort of knows what she's doing. Its incredibly hard for most people to understand or see through the masks of narcissist, not all the way. There are just too many.


	11. Nobody Puts Luci in a Corner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The archangels chaperone the school dance and people just will not leave them alone.
> 
> Elevators are a bad idea, as are full body waxings, apparently.

        Though he can't put his finger on the exact difference, Raphael cant help but notice that Luci is and has been decidedly out of sorts since the cook out. Gabriel said its because Michael mocked her date for asking permission, but didn't go into it much. She's taken Lucifer out to get a proper date outfit now, mostly to escape the tension. Which is admittedly an improvement. But now it means he's alone with Michael again and Raphael is fairly sure that his older sibling has a few more things to say about the incident the other day. He hadnt yet and Gabriel and Raph did make up but he said a few pretty terrible things.

       Granted at the moment, Michael is just sitting there, writing, but thats not unusual, there were always training exercises or battle plans to draw up. So Raphael has to wait. That was always the worst part of a reprimand, having to wait, thinking of everything Michael could or would say about whatever it was. He'd try to prepare a defense or even have conversations in his head that all went out the window when it came down to it. Guessing right didnt exactly take the sting out either.

        "Have a seat."Michael nudges out the chair nearest him.

        "No, thank you, sir." Raphael draws himself to attention out of pure habit. "I'll stand."

        "I'm not your commander anymore Raph." Comes the soft reply. "Please sit down." So he does, still not sure its a good idea. "Are you alright?"

        "Am... what does that matter?" He's not quite sure how to respond.

        "You're my brother, it matters."

        "I'm not happy. With any of this. I think this is all going to blow up in our faces, but Im here for you both. I don't know what side of 'alright' that is, but that's how it is."

        "Even after talking to Sam?" he says this so casually it takes Raphael a moment to realize how busted he is.

       "How did you find out?"

       "You're neither a subtle nor stealthy angel, little brother. The only reason Gabriel didn't known is that she was too mad to look for you and she wouldn't have expected you to betray her trust like that."

          "In my defense he already knew." But he knows its not much of a defense at all.

          "How did he know? I thought she hadn't told him."

          "She hasn't. She gave him lucifer's grace," Raphael sighs. He's not entirely sure she wasnt trying to get caught with that. "He recognized it the second it was in his hand. Apparently being trapped so long in the cage with it, bred a certain familiarity with it in its raw state. I didn't want to ask the details. He was more startled that i appealed to him as a brother."

         Embarassing to admit but after retreiving Gabriel from the abyss Sam Winchester has earned that designation. Marrying her was a blasphemous act, or more accurately a commitment to continued blasphemy that Raphael will never truly be reconciled to. Neither will Michael in truth. Sam being Lucifer's true vessel is not a small part of that. But it can be forgiven. They even attended the ceremony, got very drunk off asgardian mead and serenaded her with 'white wedding' at the reception. She thought it was a riot, even though Michael clearly cannot sing half as well as an angel should.

        "That's actually a bit comforting," Michael looks relieved. Raphael hopes he's referring to Sam being the guardian of Lucifer's grace. "I'd wondered what she did with it. There's no risk of Lucifer retrieving it prematurely then. What did he have to say about the situation?"

         "Not much, oddly enough. He just asked i keep him informed. I think he's going to wait and let Gabriel come to him about it, unless there's an emergency. He did say he'd be speaking to Alex about this, though. I hope he can convince her not to get involved in this project." That actually surprised Raphael. He half expected Sam to confront his wife immediately but the younger winchester is more calcualting than his older brother. And they did have an elaborite prenuptual agreement regarding their respective tasks. It did not address what to do if she ressurected Lucifer, mainly because it never occured to any of them that she'd do that. He did mention addressing the issue at their next quarterly renegociation. But that's several months away. He did seem very concerned in keeping ms. jones away from lucifer but that's just good sense.

          "I hope he succeeds. I'll do my best to discourage her at our next session. She doesn't need to be involved in this. Her lover certainly doesn't need to be near lucifer and I cant see him letting her walk into a room with four quarreling archangels unprotected." Michael shakes his head.

       "Lover?"

       "Fenrysulfr. Our 'nephew'." Michael shakes his head. "Though he prefers the form of a jamthund in public. Im not certain Gabriel was being entirely truthful about them not being Loki's actual children. They seem very similar to her in some ways."

      "Learned behaviors. From what I heard she was a very involved parent."

       "Those poor children." Michael frowns remembering the results of a few of Gabriel's special attentions.

        "She and Jormungandr still aren't on speaking terms. Something about thunder and a father son fishing trip, i think. She won't give me a straight answer. Then there was a cat? I'm honestly afraid to ask her too much about any of that." Raphael  admits.

          "True, I much prefer her Huehuecoyotl tales." Michael nods, then glances over to his little brother who tenses at the mention.

           Raphael cant keep the feelings of guilt away this time. He'd heard the stories, but didnt even suspect it was Gabriel at the time. Coyotl as a god was more mature, beloved, and a bit more benevolant than Loki. But all that ended when the plagues swept through the continent, wiping out so many followers much of that pantheon starved. The affair was Raphael's greatest trangression and if Gabriel knows about it, she hasnt mentioned it. 

         Michael reaches over and puts his hand over his little brothers, a minor apology for bringing the subject up. He only thinks he understands. It wasnt just a failure. Raphael abandoned half of humanity to pestilence because of the loss of one person. Frightened people destroyed his beloved vessel while he went off to regroup and consult with his brother, so he just let the illnesses run their course. Yes, he managed to put pestilence away for a while, to hurt him so that he could never cause such wide scale destruction again until he got back his ring. But he didn't lift a finger to stop what was already underway, and without knowing it, deprived Gabrile of another family long before Luficer did. 

            "It might be worth speaking to Alex yourself." Michael suggests just as gently as his touch. Raphael grimaces. he's learned his lesson. No more connections with humanity. Not if he can at all avoid it. Never again will he let himself be compromised in to such unspeakable negligence. One day he'll find Meli and beg her forgiveness. It wan't be given, but the shaman deserves his penance for her ultimately fruitless sacrifice. If only he could find that most gentle of souls, but wherever he looks, it's no use. Not that he has time to search at the moment. No, now Lucifer has returned and is the center or everything once again, no matter what anyone else wants or needs. It's all just going to start all over again. Talking to a human girl can't possibly make anything about that better. 

           "You don't have to stay here." Michael tells him after more silence. "This is going to take a very long time and none of us have to be here constantly, not truly. I can see how hard this is for you. It's not your burden, after all." he means kindly, but Lucifer will always be a burden to Raphael. Even when he wasn't there, his weight still hung over everything.

           "Of course he's my burden. He is still my brother. I can't escape that anymore than you or Gabriel." Raphael frowns at him. "I'm not going anywhere."

           "Thank you." Michael sounds genuinely grateful and that almost makes it worthwhile. Not that he doesn't deeply resent Lucifer's very existence, but at least he matters to someone.

           "So can I take this to mean you won't be reprimanding me for my fight with Gabriel?" Because when Raphael does speak, he often doesn't quite no when to stop.

           "Well, I was, but in all honesty, I'm hardly one to talk about fighting with my younger sibling, now am I?" Michael grins, his assessment offending Raphael for several reasons.

           "That's not even comparable! That's.... Lucifer. Gabriel's not even close to that insufferable. Besides that's just..." Oddly enough the thought of comparing his relationship with Gabriel to Michael and Lucifer feels all sorts of wrong and vaguely disturbing, a lot like that fan. He really has to do something about that thing soon. Why Gabriel would even bring it down much less not destroy it...

          "Well, if you'd like to be scolded, I'm sure I can oblige, but you're not children anymore. If I'd have to, I can't see it doing any good." Michael stretches his arms up above his head, a habit of Adams that he seems to have picked up, and picks up his papers again. Raphael just sits there a moment. If talking to Alex has helped Michael relax to this degree, maybe it's worth looking into. If only to help him handle Gabriel's quirks with greater equanimity. There's no hope for Lucifer, but maybe at the very least the three of them can build a stronger relationship. Maybe at the very least, they can keep each other together this time.

          "Good, you're both still here." Gabriel opens the door, bags in hand. "Help put these..." She stops and frowns at Michael who just sends everything to its assigned place in the cottage. "You really need to stop doing that. It's interfering with the immersion into human experience. " Not that Gabriel has a leg to stand on in that regard. However, pointing that out is generally deemed unhelpful.

           "Leave Michael alone, it's not his human experience, nor should it have to be." Lucifer follows, dropping a paper bag in Michael's lap, now solely ignoring Raphael it seems. There's something almost comforting about the status quo.  Especially given the murderous glare his brother was giving him last night. It made the idea of Lucifer never reforming enough to regain his grace seem like a good thing. No amount of goodness will keep him from getting Raphael back for the chocolate milk. All the more reason for the two of them to take advantage while they can, maybe make it so he just repays them in one major swoop.

           "We stopped by a farmers market this morning." Gabriel explains as Michael opens the bag to see some liquid filled plastic straws of different colors. "They're honey sticks, flavored, if you don't pay attention you can tell. And peppermints for you Raph." Gabriel tosses a bag from her purse to him. "Very strong ones too."

  
            "That was thoughtful." Raphael comments, wondering if both offerings were from Gabriel or if Lucifer had a hand in the honey sticks for Michael. 

            "Just to keep you from emptying the jar again." Lucifer of course, can't do something nice for the sake of being nice. 

            "You can walk in heels, right Raph?" Gabriel asks suddenly as Lucifer fetches more bags from the car.

            "Why do you ask?"

            "I don't need his help. I will figure it out on my own." Luci snaps. Of course. Lucifer in heels. He has enough balance issues with his wings gone as it is.

             "I don't see why you need heels, it's not as if you're lacking height."

            "Well, the only solution to being too tall for a girl is to become even taller." Gabriel responds instead as Lucifer just continues his shunning. "You both have to change as well. We're chaperoning, so."

             "You're what?" Lucifer comes back out. Not too pleased with this.

             "Chaperoning at the dance. Mr. Weatherly got ill and his wife had to take him to a specialist so I volunteered us."

              "Not that you'd have been guardian free regardless." Raphael can't help but remind their brother. He is, yet again, ignored.

             "That still doesn't explain why more than two of you need to replace them.`The devil does occaisionally have a point every now and then.

             "I was already volunteering for refreshments. They have a problem with people spiking the punch."

            "And you'll be preventing that." Michael reasonably clarifies.

             "Of course, they're children." She sounds offended. "here," Gabriel snags a bag from Luci and hands it to  Raphael. "Less formal for you Raph, more formal for Michael."

             "Thank you."

             "This took you eight hours to purchase?" Michael frowns, voicing Raphael's thoughts exactly.

             "No,of course not. We got mani pedi's and full body waxes."

             "If you ever have the option, don't do it." Lucifer says darkly.

             "You can't argue with the results, baby smooth."

             "I have no desire to appear even younger than this body is."

             "No, it's aesthetic.... ah, never mind. Personally I agree, but you insisted the whole package." Gabriel reminds him.

             "You could have warned me!"

            "I'm sorry, I didn't think I'd have to tell you that having your hair ripped from the follicles with hot wax would be painful. Next time we'll just bleach or something."

            "I'm not putting that poison on my skin." Not that Raphael really disagrees with Lucifer's assessment on beauty and hygene products but just hearing him say something he agrees with is irritating and makes him feel incredibly out of sorts.

             "We spent two hours finding organic, all natural, cruelty free cosmetics. I felt like giving up when she rejected burts bees," Gabriel rolls her eyes.

             "They're personal care products, not cosmetics. Not that you need to bother with anything else, but some of us aren't natural beauties." It's only Lucifers irritated tone that convinces Raphael that it was a sincere sentiment, even if more of a complaint than a compliment. So, Lucifer thinks Gabriel is prettier than him now and its pissing him off. Raphael cant help but laugh at this.

           "We got you a few things too, if you wanted some." Gabriel offers holding out a small bag to her brother.

         "I'm fine as I am, I'd rather not draw any amorous attentions."

         "We got you the wrong dress, then." Gabriel shakes her head.

          "A dress? You know I've preferred trousers since they were invented ."

          "I didnt actually, and its a dance, women wear dresses to dances. It's the law." She's clearly joking, "We thought it would look good on you."

          "We?" Raphael frowns instantly suspicious. "No, thank you."

          "If we're going to be seen in public with you, we dont want to be embarrassed. Dont read too much into it." Lucy snaps. "And dont be ungrateful either. Gabriel has no color sense. You almost got some tepid green disaster."

          His curiosity aroused despite his better judgement, Raphael checks his bag. Its a purple cotton sundress with gold trim. That complements her skin tone almost exactly.

         "I have a blue one. They're incredibly comfortable. And of course thats enough to wear it. Gabriel wanting to match is the whole reason he agred to a female vessel he didnt really care. Just as he doesnt truly care about clothes either. Besides he did just beat her to a pulp, its the least he can do. 

          It's almost amusing seeing Lucifer's reaction when they meet the Hanlons at the schools. Denny and her brother are in matching black and blue tuxedos. So much for women wearing dresses. They look almost identical, but for Bretts bandaged ankle.

       "I tried to tell you but i couldnt

find your number in time."he says apologetically.

        "It just happened." Denny says. "He didn't want to cancel last minute." 

         "You dont have to force yourself. If your injured, that takes precident over a silly dance. You should have stayed home and taken care of yourself." Raphael raises an eyebrow at the sweet concern in his brother's tone. Though he's probably more concerned for his own enjoyment being hampered by a lame dance partner than anything else.

          "It was worth it just to see you in that dress." Is the smooth reply. Luci can't quite manage a demure smile, but it implies shes flattered at least. There's a sort of snort from Gabriel who tries to pass it off as inhaling an insect or something. Michael just pats her back a smile tugging at his lips.

          "We'll see you crazy kids inside." Gabriel waves towards the door. Brett and Lucifer look similarly annoyed. So incredibly similarly that Raphael is forced to take a closer look at the twins. Its very hard not to laugh when he realizes what happened.

          Brett's sister isnt his sister at all. She's his genetically identical twin brother that for some reason has decided to physically and horminally alter herself into a girl. He can even notice where they were once conjoined, and Bretts soul accidentally slipped into his siblings body before separation.

          So, the devil and a soulless sociopath are somehow currently engaged in a  game to manipulate and out nice each other. This is going to be interesting to watch.

          "You saw it didn't you?" Gabrie smiles as Raphael indulges in a laugh once they're inside and out of earshot. He just nods. No wonder Gabriel was so sure they could take care of themselves. Denny is fortified by the strength of two souls instead of one and Brett is more ruthless than satan himself.

          "What did you see?" Michael asks. Of course, he wouldnt be able to guess. You have to be very familiar the genetic code to see the truth about Denny, and Michael is little more than a conduit, healing wise of course that doesnt explain how Gabriel knew. Maybe her close experience with humanity. But anyway, Raphael explains it to him. "Shouldnt we be returning the boys soul to him? And why alter only one's gender?"

          "There was a surgical accident during seperation."Gabriel says darkly. "It as considered easier and less traumatizing to make denny a girl the to try and rebuild. Or even just let her live with it. Its infuriatingly cure and arrogant. Though an admitted improvement to just murdering twins. And i fully intend to help them or have them helped at some point. Preferably after Denny's been informed."

        Suddenly all the humor is gone from the situation. They changed the external reality of an infant and didnt even tell her. It was odd to think of such young child being indulged in gender changing surgery, but the thought of an infant being permanently altered through major reconstructive surgery is beyond horrifying. And never being told. Its difficult enough when such things happen on their own.

          Do they do things like this then as well? Would an arbitrary choice have been forcibly carved into Meli's body upon birth had the shaman been born now? To foster conformity to an artificial norm, would his beloved vessel been deprived of half of its very being? How could they do such a thing? How? No wonder Gabriel is so quick to find an excuse to torment their mother. 

      On top of all this manipulation and betrayal, the poor child does not deserve to be subjected to Lucifer's manipulations as well. No matter what Gabriel has planned in the long run, its not worth the risk.

        "Raph." Gabriel touches her armas they reach the top of the stairs. "Please just trust me."

        "That girl is not expendable." He snaps, a bit more harshly than he means to. "She does not.... Be careful Gabriel. Be very careful." Before his sister can recover enough to demand an explanation, Raphael is through the rooftop door. 

         There are chaun fences allaround the edges strung and over hung with multiple lights. Gabriel explained on the way that the gym was under repair and they'd just refurnished the roof turning it into the roof top garden. Somehow Luci and the twins are there already. His brother looks oddly pale though. Oh, an elevator. Its actually slightly inpressive that Lucifer went inside one. But then what else could she do? Admit fear in front of human children?

       The garden beds are lovely but its clear most of them have been planted haphazardly with no regard for proper fertilization, soil ph, drainage, or moisture. He's tempted to just fix it, but Michael and Gabriel cheat so visibly already, he'd better not. Though if they'd notice, they wouldnt have planted it like this to begin with. But Raphael has more self control than that.

        However the invisible beginnings of alternaria blight on several of them us a different matter entirely its easily taken care of with a brush of his fingertips over the leaves.

         "Excuse me."  One of the few other dark skinned humans in the town walks up to him with a stupid smile that always means Raphael will be irritated and annoyed quite shortly there after. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Reginald Banks. And you are?"

        "My name is April Akupara. I'm Mrs. Singer's sister. I'm here to help chaparone the dance." At least the man's not insisting on eye contact. 

       "You'll need a name tag then," Reginald ushers her towards a table. "I'd heard Mrs. Singer had a lovely older sister, but I didn't expect one as lovely as you."

      "I'm married."

       "And I'm just being freindly."

      "I have no use for freinds." Raphael barely remembers to write the name April in english alphabet on the empty square. But when she puts the pen back, Reginalds taken the name tag and peeled the backing off.

       "Allow me." Raphael catches his hand before the man can place it on her chest.

        "Go. Away." He speaks slowly, firmly looking directly into the mans eyes and squeezes the wrist just slightly enough to show that he could break the man's bones were he so inclined. The man nods and lets her take the sticker without further comment and turns to a darker skinned woman who's glaring at him dissaprovingly.

         "Reg, the dj needs help setting up." She says cooly.

          "Of course," he nods, recovering himself. "Sister." He gives a nod to Raphael before leaving.

           "I apologize. My brother.... well." The woman gives an embarrased smile. "You know how men are, acting the fool for a pretty face as if haven't the sense god gave them,"

          "Our father doesnt seem to have been very generous in that regard on a general basis basis. But I do understand problem siblings." Raphael glances back to Lucifer, with a breif look to Gabriel. Hardly fair to compare a hormonal male to that though.

         "I'm Fayette Delacroix and you must be Md. Akupara." She offers her hand. "Thank you for helping us out this evening. Have you chaperoned before?"

         "I don't believe so. What does the duty entail?"

         "Basiccally keeping the children from doing anything too inappropriate. Making sure hemlines are the proper length, not letting any of the kids sneak off any where. We check the stairwells periodically."

        "I see. Is there usually a problem with these things?" It seems very odd and arbitrary issues to be focusing their attention on.

        "Barely. You'll know the troublemakers soon enough. Since you're new, and not a parent or all that well known, just report any violations to one of the other chaperones and we'll take care of it. Here's a list of the rules. Thank you again for stepping up." Fayette touches his shoulder slightly and hands him a sheet.

        There are a lot of rules for girls clothing that seem at odds with most of what was available in stores or even at odds with what's seen on most forms of entertainment. They seem largely arbitrary as well. Why is knee length to fingertip length the proper length for skirts? What does 'cleavage' refer to? The dance is uneventful. Nobody actually seems to want to dance except for a few people and of course Lucifer, who ,due to whatever game he's playing, is forced to sit beside Brett Hanlon instead, acting as if he wouldn't rather be doing anything else. It's nice to see him suffering for his assinine stunts for once. It'll be wonderful if the boy wins. He'll have to find out how to help ensure that he does.

         Not a few people have come up and asked him, but the same demure dismissal and flicker of irritation sends them away. Even if he is back to his own self more than Raphael would care for, at least his absolute control over concealing his true thoughts and feelings is shakey. It's an advantage, if anyone is actually paying attention. They usually don't. The few other chaperones have long since decided to stop bothering Raphael after he made it his policy to reply to unwanted conversation with a silent stony glare until they went away. Michael of course has his own flock of admirers, rendering him an effective chaperone only so much as the boys don't have a chance to get inappropriate with all the girls focusing their attentions on him. Gabriel is just basking in the socialization. In fact after a breif disagreement with the DJ on what exactly danceable music is, Gabriel tossed some money at him and switched jobs. The music has improved a great deal and the dj can actually tend to the refreshments without stealing half of them.

        People actually started dancing when she took over. Odd stilted self concious dances mostly but dances none the less. Maybe keeping the drinks alcohol free was a mistake. Surely a few sips would greatly increase their enjoyment and release unnecessary inhibitions without permanently impairing them. Granted most of the ones on the dance floor had arrived tipsy, only to find themselves suddenly sober once Raphael's attention was upon them.

        "Are you enjoying yourself?" Michael walks over. Raphael finds the question irritating, though he knows Michael is commiserating more than mocking him.

        "Apparently my collar is inordinately fascinating and I'm presumed to be glad not to be a student, though I have no idea why that even replies. I'm fairly glad not to be anyone else here. Also, I thought being married kept suitors away."

       "You have to wear the jewelry so they can tell by looking."

       "Ah." Raphael sighs.

       "I'm considering it myself, honestly." Michael shakes his head. "It must be easier."

       "That or a homlier vessel."

       "Unfortunately all the ones available in the line are unusually attractive. I might have to have you and Gabriel make me one. Lucifer seems to be of the opinion you create rather undesirable ones." He gives a grin, insisting on teasing his little brother on this incredibly dull and irritating evening.

       "Lucifer is a vain ungrateful little brat. Speaking of brats."  Raphael nods to Gabriel who who's giving them an irritated look. Most likely in regards to their enochian conversation. Michael gives her a brief wave and smile, before turning his gaze to their brother. It is a rather stunning ice blue dress with silver heels and her makeup is absolutely transformative, but the poor dance deprived creature can't seem to appreciate the attention he's getting for it.

        "He hasn't danced at all. I'm surprised."

         "He can't without looking like an absolute dick for abandoning his date." Raphael smirks. "It's incredibly amusing."

         "Maybe." Michael frowns. "It'd be inappropriate to dance with absolutely anyone who's not her date or just a stranger."

        "A close friend or relative, but they don't allow same sex dancers and since Denny is technically presented as female,as is Lucifer, that's not an option." Raphael sighs as he knows what Michael is asking. People are always surprised what a soft touch Michael can be when presented with the right opportunity to be. But you don't command the loyalty of an entire army of angels by sheer strength and force of will alone. It's a tribute to how beloved Michael once was that they lost less than a third to Lucifer during the breach. 

          Sure enough, Michael nods and walks up to them. That song he likes has started because Gabriel is an even softer touch, and  he takes his 'sister' out to the dance floor. It's actually a perfect tempo for one of the older dances. And just like that, the 'dance' turns into an exhibition with Michael and Lucifer at the center. Watching them spar was always a sight to see, so close to a dance in itself. It's even better with all the violence and hurt feelings removed.

          The chaperones are so enraptured in the sight, they don't even commented on how Lucy removed his heels and has been dancing barefoot on the rooftop. But then Lucifers face is captivating. The smile is the most honest one Raphael has seen in a long time and it's positively luminous. He always shone brighter next to Michael regardless though. And Michael always seemed softer, more himself beside him even when in pain. They just weren't complete without each other. You can't escape that knowledge in moments like this. It's not enough to make him hope, but its enough to make him want to. That alone is a miracle in and of itself.

          It's all over too soon. Parents arrive for their children. Chaperones do of course have to help clean and since Michael spent so much time Dancing he decided to send Gabriel to take Lucifer and the twins home. They'd promised Mrs. Hanlon to bring them back by eleven. So she's off bringing the car around from where she had to repark it to let the pizza delivery man come, while the kids take the elevator down because of Brett's ankle. It figures that's the moment when someone plugs in a large round vacuum and every electric thing in the block shorts out. The lights are all off and it takes a moment for everyone's eyes to adjust to the moon and starlight, more so for the ones insisting on shining flashlights everywhere instead of using perfectly good night vision.

         "So much for the elevator." Someone sighs. Not a minute later, Michael has raced to the stairs. The elevator? Raphael checks for it and senses it stopped completely between floors. He can hear Denise calling for help. Of course. It seems suddenly finding himself trapped in a dark elevator is another trigger for Lucifer's PNES. When Raphael gets to the floor right above the elevator, Michael has already pried the doors open with his bare hands and ripped off the emergency hatch. Humans have been able to do similar things in emergencies, haven't they?

           "She just..." Denise starts almost hysterically as Michael gently lowers himself down. It seems Boy Scout Brett got his 'seizure' badge or whatever and has Luci in the correct position.

            "It's alright. She'll be alright." Raphael reassures her as gently as he can.

            "I called 911 already. It'll be alright." Brett does as well. 

            "Here, take my hand." Raphael reaches down.

            "Are you sure?" Denny looks suprised. Maybe it's stretching believability.

            "It's alright." Michael lifts her up to Raphael who can lift her out a bit more believably this way. Brett soon follows. "This is a bad one." Michael says quietly and makes sure to keep Lucifer from hurting himself in his convulsions. It would be. Lucifer only died once but he was imprisoned for thousands upon thousands of years. Raphael feels a twinge of compassion before reminding himself how very much his brother deserved every second of it, and likely more. Denny lies on the top of the elevator, shining a light from her phone down into the dark elevator. 

            "I have this." Raphael takes over, waving her back.  "As soon as she's done seizing, we'll bring her up. She's not injured, she'll be fine." But the ambulance arrives first. unfortunate, but he'll just have to deal with the indignity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jamthunds are large scandinavian hunting dogs. The most wolf like. 
> 
> Dean also found the choice of song amusing, not being completely reconciled to the relationship himself. He was also fairly certain that Michael was missing notes on purpose to further tease his sibling.
> 
> I bet you thought Raph went to Castiel didnt you? Nope. Still kind of holds a grudge about both opposing him the civil war and their leaving Michael in the cage even after Lucifer was dead and gone. When it comes to Michael, Raph's not so forgiving, not that he ever really is.


	12. I'm Really Not Qualified for This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer does not deal with humiliation well so Gabriel is forced to call in outside help to deal with the aftermath of the seizure in the elevator of the school dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sotnos: (swedish) sweet nose, term of  
> affection  
> Men lilla gubben :(swedish) but the  
> little man...  
> Alskling: (swedish) darling  
> Sot sum en gris: (swedish) sweet likepig, a compliment really.  
> Adjo: goodbye  
> Svigermor: (Norwegian) mother in law

           "Thank you for coming." Bree opens the door, having apparated the girl there as soon as she said yes.

           "You said it was an emergency?" Alex shifts her backpack on her shoulders.

           "Pretty much. Lucifer's locked himself into the bathroom and won't come out. It's been about five days now and he's warded absolutely everything so we can't get in or get him out." Okay, that's not even slightly what she was expecting.

           "He... could he have starved yet?" A dumb question. Maybe. She does recall he was a suicide risk at one point though.

           "No. I've been shoving power bars under the door. He didn't shove them back so I assume at least some were eaten. Plus he's showered and such so.."

         "What happened? Michael didnt tell me when he canceled on me this week."

        "He got trapped in an.elevator during a black out, had a psychogenic nonepileptic seizure  in front of his date and sister who called an ambulance and then he was taken to the hospital in front of the whole neighborhood. Nether of us were happy to learn that he'd had one before and Michael and Raphael chose not to tell either of us. But he doesn't believe i didnt know and blames me for a faulty vessel anyways and, well... you get the idea."

       "Yeah,"Alex rubs the back of her neck. "I... I kind of assumed it had something to do with Michael. I don't... where are your other siblings?"

       "They werent helping, I made them go for a walk or something," Bree rubs the bridge of her nose. "He just keeps playing music or running the shower when we try to talk to him."

       "Okay." Great, facing a Devil with wounded pride, that's not going to be an absolute fucking mine feild. "He's absolutely powerless, right? He can't like, disintegrate me if I say the wrong thing."

       "No, of course not. And we've removed all the sharp objects. And... here, he can't break your skin now." Gabriel touches her forhead.

       "Thanks. Okay." Alex takes a breath. "Go join the other two. I'll see what i can do."

       "Are you sure about that?" Bree frowns. Alex just shrugs. "Alright, kiddo, if you need help just pray and we'll be right there."She reluctantly walks out.

       "What the hell did I get myself into." Alex mutters and tries to think. Alright, its just a matter of de-escalating, thats all. Yeah, right.  She walks slowly over to the bathroom door and knocks. "Um, hello? Lucifer?" There's complete stilless. "Can... would you.. speak to me?"

       "Who the hell are you?" Is the cool rather distainful question. She's surprised what a soft, low, pretty voice it is. Though she shouldnt. Michael did say something to that effect but she was picture more seductive, less gentle.

      "My name is Alex. I'm..." what the hell to say. Not a councelor thats for sure. "... a freind of Michael's?" 

     "Is that so." The tone gets absolutley icy. Okay, wrong thing to say. "And he asked you to come talk to me?"

      "No, Bree did. She's sort of an actual freind of mine. Well, my sisters best freind and my boyfreinds.... mother...stepfather? Im not exactly sure what to call it. She's left to give us privacy if you want to come out." There's more silence.

       "Fenris or Jormungandr?" Is the eventual question.

       "Rhys." No harm in telling him that.

       "How did that happen?"

       "Oh, we met at the we.. wed.. a wedding. I was Bree's guest, it was interesting." Shit. Shit shit. The main topic never to talk about and she broaches it almost immediately. 

       "Is that how you met Michael as well?"

       "No, I'm a psychology student at Souix Falls  community college. I'm actually working on becoming a therapist for hunters and people affected by the supernatural community. I do peer counseling at the moment. You can see why there might be a need for that sort of thing, for people that need to talk but dont want to get locked away for life."

        "Gabriel called me in a therapist. And a human one i presume,"

        "Well, i used to be a vampire for a few hours. And i was raised by them, so not entirely?" 

        "I see." 

        "Here, draw the wards you used and I'll put them around the cottage so you dont have to worry about them coming back in before you're ready. Plus, knowing how to ward against archangels will come in handy seeing as Bree has been making a habit of interrupting our dates in various ways at inopportune times." Alex slides a pen and peice of paper in. This confession draws an absolutley beautiful laugh from inside.

         "You do realize, you'd be sealing yourself in with The Devil," lucifer reminds her, still amused.

        "As if you couldn't ensure my death if you wanted to regardless." Probably best not to mention the whole grace thing.

        "True enough." The paper gets pushed back out. "Let me know when you've followed these instructions exactly."

        "You have gorgeous handwriting." Alex cant help but comment. "I can actually read every word."

         "Isn't that the purpose of handwriting? To be read?"

         "I work with a lot of doctors. Besides, what exactly ever fulfils its intended purpose." Alex takes out some chalk and starts marking upnthe walls.

         "Very good question,"

         "So, if I'm not being presumptuous, can I venture a guess as to what kept you in there so long?"

          "Tell me your theory." It's almost a challenge, but not quite. Doesnt matter anyways, he just needs a viable reason to come out and not feel the need to murder anyone. Its not as if Alex has never needed to save face. And god knows if anyone in all of creation valued their own self image to the point of utter dustruction, its satan.

          "You were pissed, needed a little time, a little privacy, they wouldnt give you any, you pushed, they pushed, and it turned into a big battle of wills where if you they'd just given you your space to begin with, everything would have been fine, but brothers always think they know best."

         Actually thats probably exactly what happened give or take a few details. Especially with what Bree and Michael have told her about their interactions with their siblings. She was there for that memorable truth or dare after all. There's no reply but the bathroom door opens even before she's finished the last sigil. Lucifer doesnt leave, but he is watching her progress.

          "So I'm not going to try to talk to you about anything because you just need someone to leave you the hell alone for a few minutes. So I'm going to get some homework done and when you're ready to let everyone in just let me know."

       Alex finishes the last sigil and goes back to the table. When she's taken out and sorted through her notebooks and papers, a young but ridiculously tall girl pulls one of the chairs out and sits backwards in it.

      "You are awfully young." She comments softly, resting her arms and chin on the back of the seat. Good god those are some gorgeous ice blue eyes.

       "I dont think there are many things that aren't where you're concerned. " there's a conceding nod at this. Its not as if the issue didn't come up with Michael. "All i can honestly offer is a different perspective, an open ear, and some licorice as thats all the candy that Bree won't have stolen from my bag."

        "Licorice."

        "Twizzlers really." Alex fishes some out of her bag. "She'll take the red but not the black and i dont really mind because she'll leave handfulls of various dollars rolled in tootsie roll wrappers in their place at an equivalent volume. But sometimes you just want your snack."

         "So she steals your food in order to give you money in a way that doesnt hurt your pride." 

         "Probably. She's actually very generous and I cant technically accept payment for anything i do yet since I'm not licensed. I really wouldnt even know what to begin charging." Alex shakes her head "Bree's awesome. Have you seen her at Karaoke? She kicks ass. Shes the new God of Karaoke at  Louix's Fifth in Souix Falls, four years running now. Then there was this heavy metal place near kansas city. We got all butched up and went in, she goes up there, black studded leather, spiked hair, and black top hat with a metal band on it and a skull cane. And then sings Putting on the Ritz. She even did a little tap dance and everything. Claire nearly died laughing.  Then there was that supernatural convention where we stole the impa..ahh never mind about that actually."

          "You and Gabriel stole.... " Lucifer prods looks intrigued. Of course.

         "You know, you should really be asking Bree about this stuff."Alex flushes. Why is she talking so much anyway?

          "Why? Is she a client, too?"

          "No, I just... want to respect her privacy."

          "Hmm." That penetrating stare is making Alex feel nervous. "But therapists do that? Respect privacy?" By which he clearly means keep secrets. " Like a preist in a confessional."

         "Almost. We dont keep secrets regarding serious crimes or plans to commit crimes, but other secrets, yes. Feelings, opinions, problems, thats half the job. Half keeping secrets, a third listening, the rest asking the right questions. At least thats what my professor says. But she tends to be a bit formulaic and nothing is ever better for being oversimplified."

          "No?" Okay, so Lucifer is clearly just fucking around for the hell of it.

         "Licorice?" Alex offers the bag. Satan herself takes one and smile a pretty little smile. "So do you want to talk or just keep asking me questions?"

          "What would you like to do?"

          "I'd like to get my homework done honestly." it would be the only really productive goal she could have after all.

          "What is your homework?"

          "An essay on body dysmorphic disorder and using the MMPI-2 to analyze a popular fictional character of our choosing. It's a weird assignment like most of her odd nonsensical ones and i just keep putting it off."

          "Is that it?" She-devil points to the bundle of papers.

          "Most of that is, yeah."

           "Alright, then," The girl pulls it over and takes out a pen. "You got me some freedom from my siblings, I'll lighten your workload. "

           "What? You... please don't fill that out they charge me so much for copies. And you arent a fictional caracter."

            "According to Carver Edlun and countless athiests I am." She taps her lips with the pen. "I'm expecting you to keep this  in confidence, mind."

            "You're going to just straight fill out the MMPI-2."

            " Absatively posolutely."

            "And completely honestly?"

            "Well, consistantly with my own character at least." She winks at Alex and gets up, positioning herself and the chair better. Alex looks down at her notebook breifly.

            "What the hell. Its a dumb assignment anyway." Alex shrugs. Its not even a significant portion of her grade really. "You like music?"

             "Of course."

 

            "Not really." Alex makes a face. "I mean, ther have to be limits, but I just kind of roll with the whole, my boyfreind is often a giant wolf thing. He's such a sweet heart, like Bree. It's really kind of a releif sometimes because he's mouthy as hell and it goes when people don't understand what he's saying."

           "He probably gets that from his father. Gabriel's a cheeky bastard." Lucy reclines back on the chair, balancing on the hind legs and rests her perfectly pedicured feet on the table as she finishes the origami wolf.

           It's actually quite impressive. As are the lillies, serpents, a lovely apple, and a mound if flames, almost a bonfire. Of course its only then that Alex realizes that Lucifer folded each finished page of the questionaire as he finished it. Luci smacks her a kiss and pets the paper wolf.

          "You know it's actually kind of amazing how similar you and Bree are." Alex commments, resting her head on her hands. This doesnt seem to be quite the response he expected, but Lucifer recovers quickly.

           "It stands to reason, I did raise her after all."

           "That must have been exhausting."

           "You have no idea. There's a reason dad made three of us first. It was never boring though," Alex can't help but melt a little at the affectionate smile of his face as he says it.  You could never suspect the owner of this smile of murdering the object of its affection in cold blood. For the first time this afternoon, Alex feels  absolutely terrified.

            "I actually have to go soon. Rys and I have a date in the morning. He's taking me to Guthenburg to this bakery with a soup and cake buffet so i have to get everything out of the way tonight."

            "Steinbrenner and Nyburg." Lucifer says quietly.

            "I think thats it." Alex feels she should stop being so astonished by Lucifer, but its kind of hard to help it.

            "That's where they held her wake." This next paper is fashioned into a long boat and a lily is placed inside. "Her children came to recover their fathers body and gave it a traditional viking funeral. It was sweet. I decided to let them live a little longer because of it. Afterwards, they went to Steinbeenmer and Nyburg and  wrecked the buffet in tribute." The now utterly blank faced girl takes a flame from the bonfire and places it on the lily, then crushes the entire construct between her hands. "Taking you there for courtship is either very meaningful or very disrespectful."

        "Bree and I are on good terms so i don't think she'd be insulted, whatever his intent." Alex says slowly. "But their relationship is complicated at best. He doesnt approve of her current lifestyle but he misses and loves his father so, complicated."

         "Is there any other kind?" Luci puts her feet back down and drops the papers on the table. "You can go. As long as your association with my siblings is beneficial to them, I doubt I'll have reason to do you harm."

         Alex isnt sure how much of that is true or how much he just believes its true as he says it. Either way, its interesting that he uses her use to his brothers as her saving grace.

       "And dont let them involve you in this silly game they're playing with me. You're so far out of your league." Luci gets to her feet and walks over to the cabinets. "Are you kidding me?" She pulls out a nearly empty jar of honey.

       Alex begins the arduous task of carefully unfolding the papers, thanking God they're numbered. And of course, Luci has covered the numbers with little black ink images. Hearts, stars,  snow angel, a waffle iron on one. Definitely alot in common with Bree.

          Lucifer walks around smearing the chalk wards, the offending open jar of honey in his hands. When she's done her three siblings appear so quickly Alex is startled into dropping the few papers she's unfolded. Raphael walks over and with a touch, the questionairre is unfolden and sorted.

          "Really, Michael? All of it?" It's actually kind of funny hearing them interact like an actual family. Especially as she knows that Michael's eating all the honey in part to discourage Lucifer from trying to talk him into trying more human things.  Like the way he discourages Bree from dragging him on stage for karaoke.

          Michael just smiles at his... sibling and  runs a finger around the inside of the rim, placing the honey covered digit in his mouth before walking away. Knowing Michael, he probably isnt aware of how incredibly provokatively hot that just was. 

          "No..." Bree is on the phone it seems. "You show some respect young man, i am still your father." Probably Rhys. "Do you want to talk to her now? She's right here and just fine." She walks over and hands the phone to Alex. "It's Rhys. Tell him you're alive before he ruins the carpet." The response to that isnt human.

          "Rhys, sotnos." Alex soothes him, but the admittedly odd  term of endearment draws a very unhelpful snicker from Bree. "I'm okay. Really. I promise. Someone will be bringing me home shortly and you'll be able to see for yourself soon enough."

          "The longer you keep talking the longer it is before we bring her back, aiskling." Bree says loudly taking the phone back, making the whole thing kind of feel like a ransom call. "Thats what I thought. Adjo." She hangs up and puts the phone away. "Men lilla gubben..." Bree sighs affectionately. "Sot sum en gris, ja, alex?"

          "Ja, svigermor." At least Bree's keeping it to simple phrases. Alex will learn eventually. Maybe.

           "Svi... did he?" Bree looks excited, and makes Alex feel a bit bad for dissappointing her.

            "No, not yet." Alex confesses. "You just practically are."

             "I want grandchildren, Alex. Hel and Juri are being exceptionally stubborn about that. You're my only hope." Which is a little irritating for her to say given she'd be the reason they didnt have any if they were trying or even close to that place yet.

             "I'll take you home when you're ready,"Raphael rescues her.

             "I'm ready?" Alex grabs he bags. "Don't be a stranger, Bree." Meaning pop in when Rys is not trying to seduce her."And if you see them first, give the rest of the family my regards."

              "Likewise." They give each other a hug goodbye. Michael gives her a breif nod of acknowledgement just before Raphael places a hand on her shoulder returning her to her dorm room.

             "Are you alright?"he asks before she can thank him.

             "Yes. I am... He's... he's not what I expected." Alex frowns. "Ridiculously adorable for one thing."

            "He can be, when it suits him. It can be very hard to see through his conceits."

            "Hopefully I didnt slip up too badly. It was hard find things to say that didnt lead to the Winchesters, and impossible not to talk at all. I'm not sure Bree knows what she's doing. I know she thinks she does, but... I know right now that i can't councel your brother in any way. He wants an audience and thats it."

         "I know. I'll do my best to keep her  from putting too much presssure on you." Raphael sighs. "Ms. Jones..." he looks almost reluctant to ask her something. Though he clearly wants to.

         "You can ask me anything, you know. Its okay. Kind of a safe space. Little to no judgement." She smiles at him. Rapahel gives a very small smile in return.

          "I am aware that you have a full work load and are just in the process of becoming a licensed therapist. But if you would be willing to set some time aside to for me, I'd be more than able to compensate you in some fashion." 

           "You want to see me as a therapist?" Alex clarifies, as from what she knows as of Raphael he'd be more likely to solicit a prostitute than go to a therapist, though not by much. 

            "Michael is doing very well and i know its in part because of your care. While i hold no hope for Lucifer, I dont wish to lose my siblings to the strain again. Gabriel and I had an intense fight recently and I was largely to blame. If you can help me be a better brother i'd appreciate it. But if you can't be of assistance, i understand."

           "Well, I'll do my best. Michael worries about you a great deal, you know. Um, I have chores to do or we could meet for a bit this afternoon, but..." before she finishes, the room is spotless, everything in it us clean, pressed, and placed out of sight, if not in the right places. "Alright. Letme contact Rhys real quick so he doesn't break the door down and we'll talk."

             "Thank you."

        

      

       

       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex keeps mixing up swedish and Norwegian (in no small part because of gabriel). She means well, but like many americans languages are not her thing. Since its not the actual language Rhys was raised on anyway, he finds it more amusing than anything.
> 
> Yes, Alex gets Lucifers pronouns confused. She find him kind of confusing in general.
> 
> SHAMELESS BEG FOR FEEDBACK  
> Im desperately needy and insecure so please give comments and questions so i can make this thing kudos worthy. My egos not quite as fragile as lucifers but i cant say its especially resilient either.


	13. Family Fun Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its karaoke night and our four little archangels go out and paint the town red. 
> 
> A blast from Gabriels past catches up with her as well. 
> 
> We also learn why Gabriel never took off her boots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karaoke songs
> 
> Partners in Crime by Set if Off
> 
> Lollypop by Mika (Michael and Raphael sing or play this every time Sam and Gabriel have a fight.)

          "So we're not going to address this last week at all. Just pretend it never happened." Raphael asks as Gabriel puts a hand to her throat. He feels mildly offended at her needs to check, but the need to touch injuries  healed or otherwise, seems pretty instinctive in many humans. 

        "Do you think any good will come of it if we did try?"

         "I think it'll be worse not to. And next time this happens, you shouldnt try to feed him and should just ignore him, which is exactly what i suggested in the first place."

         "You're absolutely right, and we should have listened to you." Gabriel says chipperly, grabbing a multilayered molecularly diverse treat from the cabinet and takes a bite. "Mmm."

         She is of course only saying this because her brother helped her remove her grace without argument and did not point out that her husband was correct and that her grace was not an accessory to be donned and discarded on whim. Nor did he add later as Sam was surely close to pointing out that taking away a major garuntee of her safety in this ridiculous endeavor of trying to reform the devil is damn near suicidal.

        No, instead he spoke up saying that he agreed with her decision and would be at her side constantly keeping her safe from whatever physical harm anyone was capable of inflicting. Gabriel said Raphael's caveat that nothing could protect her from being further wharped psychogically by prolongued contact with humanity regardless of her angelic status, was unhelpful at best.

         She could have just told him the truth, but its unlikely he would have let her leave the bunker at all if she had. Raphael was almost tempted to tell him, but news like that is more Gabriels purview regardless. Hopefully it wasn't too late but its a waiting game now. There is one thing he takes issue with.

        "And you had to leave it with that broken seraph. The brat wasnt even capable of holding onto his own grace."

        "You can't judge based on that. Everything is infinitely safer in his hands a than his own self. He's still very much our fathers shield. Besides I trust him more than almost anyone. The only reason I'm not giving it to you is because you have enough on your plate already." Gabriel shrugs unconsciously lifting a weight from Raphael's shoulders he didnt know he held. "Don't look so shocked. If I gave it to you, you'd probably have to leave to keep it both safe and away from lucifer. And you know Michael would pretty much immediately just shove it back down my throat if he got his hands on it." 

       "Speaking of which he'll be back with Lucifer soon. You know neither of them will be happy with this." Raphael frowns, giving them the reason why it was actually completely neccessary won't make either of them any happier either. 

       "How long do you think it'll take before lucifer notices?" Gabriel grins.

       "As soon as she notices you arent abusing your abilities, most likely. That or you bleed." And of course should all that be avoided, at most three months. 

     "Hmm. Care to help me out with that?"

     "Why not? The quince project is taking slightly longer to bear fruit than I expected."

      "My dearest of brothers, was that a pun?"

     "An unfortunate choice of phrase." Raphael sighs, rolling his eyes. "I'll go talk to Michael, while you talk to Lucifer about a girls night out."

     "You know he'll love karaoke."

     "Its in a crowded bar full of humans searching for sexual conquests and we wont be letting him destroy, injure, or dominate any of them. He'll hate it."

      "He's been doing just fine with Denny and Brett."

      "Do you really not see that as being about destroying or dominating them?"

      "Im not sure Luci does entirely, at least not with Denny anymore. Besides i have no problem with Lucifer using any of those techniques while we're out. Acceptable versus unacceptable behaviors. Stabbing people or condemning their souls to the firey pits of hell is a no, using semi seductive passive agressive maniplulation in retaliation for unwanted advances is a yes."

       "But thats how it all started if you recall." Gabriel clearly does not. "He's going to hate it."

      "What will who hate?" Lucifer and Michael appear with a basketfull of mulberries. Michael raises an eyebrow at Gabriel. But it takes no effort to stop time and explain the situation to him. His reaction is of course as predicted, though he quickly becomes somewhat resigned to the situation.

 

 

        "Raphael thinks you wouldnt care for a girl's night out with me at a karaoke bar a few towns over."Neither of them noticed the pause. A plus for limited human faculties.

        "Raphael's an idiot." Lucifer puts the berries in the sink. "I would love to worship at the alter of the god of karaoke." He winks at his sister.

        "We're not going all the way to Souix Falls so you'll have to settle for paying tribute at the nearest shitty bar." For all that they both know its a joke, neither Raphael nor Michael finds it that funny. Though Michael clearly finds it more blasphemous than his brother does. "Just you and me agaist the world,"

        "Absolutely not!" Michael snaps not quite understanding Gabriel was teasing all of them with that. Maybe he just didnt want to risk being wrong.

        "Well, I suppose Raphael can come, but unless you feel like changing vessels, you don't exactly qualify for girls night out."

         "I'm not changing my vessel for some arbitrary assignation of gender." The concept seems to offend him, actually.

         "Gabriel, you're beung absurd. Mitcha is our sister no matter her vessel." Lucifer smacks Michael a kiss. He just frowns at her almost a glare. Not that he minds any sort of gender connection, but being called Mitcha again in such a cavalier manner is oddly infuriating. 

         Especially after brazenly arranging yet another meeting with that young boy, all the while oozing charm and seduction. Lucifer had made it very clear that he wanted nothing more to do with the creatures that witnessed his humiliation if he couldnt wipe them from existance. While Michael does have great faith in Alex as a therapist, he doubts his ability to change that in one unprepared meeting.

          In truth, Michael's not happy with any of his siblings right now. Gabriel and her jokes and tricks and games and secrets and inexplicable propensity to get into trouble in all it's meanings it seems. He wants to just pick her up and hand her over to her husband, demanding he keep her safely away from lucifer until the danger is passed, but that would involve several egrigious violations of his sister's free will and trust. 

        And even Raphael seems to be conspiring with Gabriel to torment Lucifer. Its like before the dawn of time, only there's an entire population of collateral damage out there just waiting for disaster. It means so much more to him than it once did. And its not just about numbers anymore even if it is the most rational way to view it.

        Maybe death is neither as irrevokably final as it once may have been, but there's still the overwhelming loss felt by those left behind, the uncertainty of ever meeting again, things left unexperienced, undone. Pain is still ever present and now is denied even the prospect of eternal releif. Hes not certain thats an improvement.

        Maybe Gabriel had the right idea, limiting herself to such a degree. It reduces the potential damage she could cause at the very least. But its her first death all over again. He read the verses in the Winchester gospels. She was minimizing collateral damage, with a so called hail mary play. She was willing for it to suceed but in no way depended on it. It fell only slightly short of complete intentional self sacrifice.

       And now she's still putting herself at extreme risk. And is just one more silly, shortsighted, foolhardy... what if lucifer takes advantage? Whatif he attempts to destroys her yet again? Then what is Michael supposed to do? She doesn't think at all.

     "He doesnt neccesarily have to change his physical vessel to change his gender expression," Luciferr of course, points out. "Gender is now largely arbitrary and can be determined soley by the preference of the individual."

       "I don't care." Michael goes to the cabinet to take out the honey. Why is it that everytime he gets agitated he wants this? Is it his vessel. He has occupied one for an inestimable amount of time, even if not the same one. He has to make sure not to get too attatched to any of its features. 

        "That would be fantastic." Of course Gabriel would like the thought which makes him feel that much more relictant to entertain the idea "We'll wear matching dresses, sensile shoes, light makeup. I know just the outfit too."

        "We should take them to the salon."

       "Nobody will be doing anything to physically alter this vessel. Clothing, and easily removeable accessories only. No arguments." Michael grabs spoon but fails to temper his strength and it bends like grass in his hands. The glas jar of honey falls victim to his frustration next. Everything is as fragile as Lucifer's ego.

           He forces himself to take a moment and collect himself before repairing the broken items. He's tired of holding himself back, holding himself in, but what else can he do? The only person who could ever take him as he was is now just as delicate as everything else.

       Raphael places a hand on his shoulder.

        "You don't have to come. I can watch them. You could go take flight. Visit the stars and come back a bit later." He gently suggests. Thats true. He hasnt been far from earth since he helped place the stars. When's the last time truly spead his wings. When did he have the opportunity.

           "You wouldn't be much good for karaoke anyway." Lucifer says offhandedly, though Michael can tell he's disappointed anyway. 

           "I'll meet you there. Whatever uniform you decide on just set one aside for me.  When I return I'll dress and catch up with you. I wont take long." He puts his hand over his brothers. Somehow Raphael always knows just what he needs, even if Michael doesnt always have the time to actually indulge.

            

          Michael looks around the bar, a small irrepressible smile on his face as he does so. The feel of his vibrations pushing against the hum of the universe is so satisfying. He'd forgotten what it was like. And to be able to push himself to his furthest reaches. Granted he only could due to still being so diminished, but still...

        "Michael." He sees Raphael wave to him from a table. She's in the same fitted tunic with metallic trim that was laid out for him. Raphael's is green with gold trim though, while his is blue with silver. Their sandals match the trim and are fairly standard roman sandals laced up to the calves. He'd thought they were going to set out womens clothing but it was just this.  A bit out of date but fairly gender nuetral.

       He glances around for Gabriel and Lucifer. They're up by the stage waiting their turn. Gabriel's is white and silver. But Lucifers is red and gold for some reason. It suits him of course but its not a color he's used to seeing him in. Honestly red is usually what Gabriel and Raphael assign Michael for anything color coded.

      "Am I very late?" He asks sitting down beside his brother.

       "Not at all. Luci and Bree have challenged some of the locals to a showdown. It wont be a contest, though it was Lucifer saying as much that instigated the challenge in thw first place. The wager is our bar tab so drink up." Raphael waves to the waitress. 

        "Whats the point?"

        "To increase our tab."Raphael snaps. "I'm kind of tired of everyone thinking Im adopted."

         "I'll see about having you and Gabriel make me a more genetically similar vessel next time." 

          "I doubt that would really help as Gabriel and I actually have several similar features this time from a  distant shared ancestry. Its more due to systematic racism, and since i dont intend to ever take a vessel with lighter skin again now only sweeping social change would solve that, but thank you. Are you feeling better?" 

            "Immensely." Michael answers the one statement he understands. "Has Luci figured it out yet?"

           "Not yet. I've had to help out a bit though with balance, but so far so good."

           "Her body isnt still diabetic is it? I know she wont let you touch the leg, but..."

           "No, her grace reset that. But given the situation its incredibly likely to be triggered again just due to biological changes. I'm keeping a close eye on it." Raphael looks upat the stage as Gabriel and Lucifer start their duet.

           "What in the name of all that is holy are they singing?" Michael snaps at the lyrics. 

            "Partners in Crime ?" Raphael squints at the screen. Of course. "If it makes you feel any better, she and Sam had a bit of a fight about the grace thing earlier."

            "Oh, really?" Michael can't help but grin. "Do they have it here?" 

            "We're next on the list. I've been holding a place until you got here." Raphael gets up as everyone applauds and cheers their siblings. Gabriel gives them an odd look as they head up.

           "Oh you traitorous turtle!" She exclaims as the music starts

           "I said suckin' too hard on a lollypop, oh, loves gonna get you down..."

           "Fuck both of you!" But this just gets her a punch in the arm from Lucifer who isnt in on the joke.

 

        "Oh, did you see their faces?" Gabriel laughs, hanging off Luci's arm, blitzed half out of her mind.

         "How did they not see that coming? Did anyone in there actually think they were even close to as good as we were?" Lucifer snorts, having used the fake ID that allowed hum access for half a dozen Pitchforks and thus not noticing Gabriel's limp or intoxication any himself.

      "I told them, didnt I tell them? God of karaoke i said, but nooo...."

       "Hey! Bitch!" Someone barks behind them. Michael glances back down the pathway. One of the contenders from the bar is coming after them, heels in hand, followed by the rest of her sorority, at last thats what Gabriel said the fuzzy sweaters with greek letters meant. "HEY!" She throws one of the heels. Michael catches it before it can hit Lucifer. His siblings all stop and turn around.

      "And which of us are you talking to?" The slightly slurred but still sweet voice of his brother makes Michael want to just grab them both and disapparate. But this group of girls had quite alot to say at the bar, so he's more tempted to just let it play out. Human against human is a fair fight after all. They can just sit back and make sure no one dies. Raphael seems of the same mind.

         "Does it matter? You cheating bitches owe us some money,"

         "How can you cheat at karaoke?" Gabriel laughs.

         "Go home, little girls, you dont know who you're fucking with."

          "You mean besides three ugly ass tone deaf whores and one pansy ass rent boy fr..." she doesnt even finish before Lucifer's on her. Gabriel lets out a whoop and goes for the next one up.

          "Dont kill anyone!" Michael reminds them as the brawl begins. He and Raphael subdue the few girls that decide to try to go after them and disintegrate a few weapons that come into play. They definitely dont want Lucifer to have access to weapons.

          He's actually most imIpressed with Gabriel who's thrashing a majority of them. Her blade work still leaves something to be desired, but her grappling skills improved phenominally. If that was because of the aesir maybe he should take them up on their invitation to dine at vahallah one day. Baldurs supposed to be almost unvulnerable. Hand to hand could be interesting.

            Lucifer is holding his own as well at least until Gabriel rips off her right leg and starts using it as a club. The light isnt quite good enough to easily tell it's a prosthetic especially when drunk. This causes most everyone else to panic as well and the ones still conscious flee. Gabriel starts laughing so hard she looses her tenuous balance and falls over onto a couple girls.

           "You kept that prosthetic leg solely for the opportunity to do this didn't you?"Michael realizes as Raphael, being right beside Lucifer, helps him up off the pavement. He is of course immediately shoved away so Lucifer can get to Gabriel.

      "What happened to you?" He grabs his sisters face with his hands breifly before embracing her, rocking her sightly, "Raphael do something!  Paseh, does it you hurt? Are you pain?" Michael didn't realize Lucifer was quite this drunk.

          "What? I'm fine. It was the previous tenant. But I didn't have to pay a security deposit so..." Gabriel is talking nonsense again in between laughs. After a moment of crooning a lullaby with his head resting on his sister's chest, he stops and widens his eyes, grabbing her wrist . He's noticed her heart beat and that her hand is cut and bleeding

          "Young lady, what have you done to your grace?" For a moment Michael thinks he's being mocked, but Lucifer is too irritated with his laughing sister.

           "Brodre!" A large bearded redheaded man strides over from the edge of the woods. "Loki, is that you?" Gabriel tilts her head back to see him and smiles broadly.

            "Mein venn!" Gabriel exclaims hastily shoving Lucifer aside, letting the stranger pull her up by one arm and embrace her. "What in the nine realms are you doing here, brodre?"

          "Looking for you, you old horse fucker!" He lifts her up in the air. "Still wearing this old thing, i see."

          "What did you just say?" Lucifer gets to his feet but he falls back over one of the girls. 

            "Yeah, its grown on me." Gabriel shrugs, ignoring Lucifer for some reason. Raphael drags their brother back out of harms way.

            "I could toss you like a skipping stone and just as far."

            "Fucking try it, you'll wake up naked and tied to a post."she retorts. 

            "Gabriel." Michael steps up before she actually gets thrown. "Who is this person?"

            "Right he missed the... celebrations." Gabriel hedges,

           "I waste trapped in the bowels of the underworld." The burly redhead explains, "I sent you an avenger's toaster."

           "We got it." Gabriel snickers. "Oh, brother, meet my brothers. Michael, Raphael, this is my blood brother Thor, son of my blood brother Odin, and brother to Baldur the bastard with good publicity." She looks meaningfully to Lucifer.  Thats right. lucifer destroyed them shortly before he killed Gabriel. "Thats my freind and current singing partner, Lucy."

        "Ohhh." The way Gabriel accents freind seems to make sense to the man who winks and nods. Lucifer is silent, and Michael doubts its because of a sense of self preservation. A quick glance shows this is because Raphael has rendered him unconscious. He's going to have to talk to him about that later."I'm pleased to meet you, your brother has been a great companion to me and a better one to my father than he deserved." Michael accepts the moderately firm hand shake, then bends to pick up Lucifer.

          "They don't really know about all that."Gabriel whispers not so quietly. "So what's wrong? Why are you looking for me? I do still have feelers out for mjolner."

          "Nothing's wrong, its just father's day, almost." He perches Gabriel on his shoulder and take a out a mug. "You said you'd help me with the gift again."

         "Ah, shit, i cant." She slaps her face probably a bit harder than she meant to. "Im human at the moment. Um, Raphael? Could you do me a favor? Make that mug refill endlessly with the strongest liquor you know. So that it only refills when lips are on it."

       "No, you should have thought of that before hand."

       "Oh, fuck you, Raph... Thor is my blood brother, we fought wars together, did hella cool stuff together."

       "He couldnt make it to your wedding."

        "You didnt make it to my damn funeral."

        "I wish i'd made it. I bet you made a lovely bride." Thor shakes his head

        "Aww, Not as lovely as you did. Stormchild." Gabriel pats the top of this Thor's head. They both lsugh uproariousl at this. "But screw you, if you cant... cant... what did you want again, Brodr?" The large man just laughs again and goes to put the mug back again. Raphael sighs and grabs it.

        "Fine, but i can only link it to a single large vat of wine not make it eternal." Raphael gives in.

          "Thats fine, he'll forget and smash it on the floor around dawn."

         "I could make it indestructable." He offers.

          "No, no,no," Gabriel quickly protests.

          "Do you know how hard it is to find suitable gifts for a godhead that dont involve mass murder and mayhem? Im trying not to draw hunters."

           "We've been doing this since Thor first needed to get Daddy a gift. Though i forgot to put the lips caveat on the first time."

           "Forgot, surely," Thor snorts. "Just as you forgot to refrain from sealing all but the topmost windows in the hall watertight. When it was knocked over in someones sleep, we all woke floating in a sea of mead the next morning. "

          "That was a crime of opportunuty i swear. Breaking the mug became a tradition from that day on, sort of." Gabriel adds innocently. 

           "World's All-est father?" Raphael frowns.

            "He sucked, but he was there." Thor shrugs.

            "Saving that for the card then?" 

            "You should."Gabriel laughs. "And dont tell them about this. Um actually working on something kind of important and the last thing i need is Heimdall coming after me or Coacoa lurking around between lovers."

         "That wimp still bothering you?"

         "No, and Id like to keep it that way. Give Yuri my love and remind him he has my number." Who's Yuri? Gabriel mentioned him. Oh, his step son jormungandr.

          "You know if you let me tell him the truth, he might actually call you."

          "The truth wont make anything better. Let him and his 'real' father enjoy each other while they can. I promised his mother not to say anything so I wont. You dont either, we're bound by blood do you understand?"

          "Of course."theman sounds offended. "I'm not my father. i keep my oaths. So have I caught you at the tail end of your revelries or shall we cut a swath through the city, like old times.

         "Not tonight. I must tend to my aiskling when she wakes lest she feel   neglected." She nods to the sleeping Lucifer. 

           "Ah, say no more. I'd offer to attend her with you, but yuri would object to my cavorting with his father again." Raphael seems to take exception to this statement. Gabriel turns beet red, oddly enough. "Is it the drink that makes you bashful now or these bosoms on your chest." Michael grabs the mans wrist before he can grope his sister in front of him. Thor just gives the angel a smirk. "How many pantheons did you work your way through brother? Say nothing of our revels. Your brother was quite popular, a claim against his involvment with a godess was more likely to be false than one for it." 

         "Our sister is not yours to touch." Michael says cooly. Gabriel looks a bit irritated at this.

          "I'm not yours to ration either. One good thing about the aesir is that they weren't o.." she manages not to throw up directly on her 'blood brothers' head but does so all down his back instead. 

          "Brother, you've become a lightweight." Thor laughs, handing the deflated woman to Raphael who ckeans them both for good measure and exchanges her with the mug. 

      "We're leaving. Dont search for her unannounced again." Michael and Raphael take themselves and their drunken siblings home. "Stop abusing the situation with Lucifer, Raphael."

        "Very well, next time I'll try reasoning with hum or asking for blind obedience. That usually serves us so well."

      "There's no need for that tone." Micheal gently places the sleeping bodies on the trampoline bed.

      "Concerning Lucifer, there's always a need. I'll watch over them to make sure they dont choke. Do you have Gabriel's leg and boot?" Raphael pulls a chair over beside Gabriel and takes out a text book. The childs getting a bit mouthy. At least hes speaking more.

        "I'll fetch them. Thank you." Michael pats Raphaels head and returns to the park.

         "I thought youd be back. "Thor is still there, the leg in hand. "Care to fight?" Why not? 

  

       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, in case you're wondering Lucifer absolutely did steal Michael's tunic. 
> 
> In case your also wondering, our two little love birds argued over Gabriel deciding to go native for a bit. Why did she? To better bond with Luci, for better access to easy stress relief, a desire for unbridled hedonism, for a reckless impulse she doesnt quite understand herself, not even she's quite sure. 
> 
> Why did Raphael agree to help without argument? You'll find that out soon enough, if you havent already guessed, but it turns out to be a good idea.


	14. 1 2 3 4 I Declare A Prank War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the playing feild is somewhat more level, Lucifer refuses to put up with Gabriel's pranks without retaliation. 
> 
> Raphael and Michael attempt to stay uninvolved with the proceedings.
> 
> Raphael records everything for posterity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder, the bed is a padded trampoline covered in pillows and comforters. Mentioned in an earlier chapter, but still important now.
> 
> Also if you don't remember this from show when they did the spell to remove the mark of cain, the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil was a quince, not an apple.

       Admittedly, they look kind of sweet, curled up together on that ridiculous construct Gabriel calls a bed. But Raphael still doesn't like the thought of leaving a human Gabriel alone with Lucifer, human or otherwise. So here he sits, trying to protect his sister from her own folly while browsing Alex's text books. Psychology. Its interesting conjecture.

       Human design is so much more intricate and complex than an angels. So many ways it can go wrong. Their minds seem to be the same. But they are quick. So quick to grow and learn and change that one mistake can send them crashing before they can self correct. Alot like Gabriel in truth. It took so long for her to adjust to her own speed and stop crashing into things.

       Its confusing, intriguing, and utterly fascinating. Especially with the concept of free will. Of course that runs into philosophy and philosophers were generally useless, contradictory, and dogmatic.  If he wanted to listen to people rationalizing their own self indulgence he'd talk to Lucifer. But taking those great questions and trying to subtract bias and hubris from the answers must be one of the greaest undertakings of all time. Catagorizing the pathologies of the mind. Definitely don't let Lucifer have access to this.

        "Unnnggggghhhhh." The little berserker herself is finally awake with a no doubt horrendous hangover. "Raaaappphaaeeeel."she moans. "Heeeelp."

         "Just drink some water, you'll be fine." This just gets him a truly piteous wimper. "You'll live."

          "No, i wont..." she lies shamelessly. "Brother... please...."

          "You shouldn't be drinking in your condition anyways." He leans over and taps her poor dehydrated head despite his better judgement.

         "I'm not diabetic at the moment. Let me enjoy this while I can."

         "I'm not.." he starts but pauses as Gabriel sits up and slams herself down onto the bed with just enough force to toss Lucifer half into the air. 

        "What the hell..."he scrambles like a cat tossed off a roof. Gabriel laughs and lets herself regain stillness on the bouncing surface. Lucifer blinks and narrows his eyes at her. "How are you not hungover? You drank three times more than me and I passed out after that fight i think. Was there a pagan god there?" He wrinkles his nose as if that was the most distateful part of the encounter.

       "That was Thor, she threw up on him and had to be carried home. She's a much more articulate drunk than you." Raphael comments, and is, of course, ignored.

        "Oh, that part actually happened? And in answer to your insightful question, Luce, I have angels watching over me." The laugh Raphael gives at this reply prevents him from noticing or catching Gabriel as her attempts to stand end with her falling flat on her face. "Ahh, I forgot about my damn leg." And Lucifer is reminded.

        "It's too early for this."He decides and grabs the comforter, rolling up into it along with several pillows.

        "No more than a glass or two a night if that until you have your grace back, understood? I can make hangovers worse, too, you know. " Raphael offers her his hand to steady herself with. "I'm fairly sure i can make you an adequate replacement leg."

         "I know but that just makes it so much harder to rip it off and beat people with it."

         "Your commitment to an intensely disturbing joke is astonishing."

          "You have no idea, " Gabriel snickers. Probably a Loki reference. "Where is my leg?"

           "You beat half a dozen sorority girls and part of a lamppost and the pavement with it last night. Its broken. Michael's taken it into town to try and find someone who know what its supposed to look like so we can have it fixed or replaced." Though more accurately, it was crushed beyond recognition when he was fighting Thor for it. And he feels incredibly embarrassed about that. Of course, Gabriel shouldnt have been using it as a weapon in the first place.

            "Great. I don't suppose you could make me some crutches." Gabriel grouses. But he can and does recreate some absolutely beautiful crutches that had been made for a man about Gabriel's height a very long time ago. "Thank you. I almost don't want the leg back now." She looks them over. "Help me cook? Since Lucy's useless right now."

           "If you wish." Its actually a fairly interesting experience watching something be made from bits and pieces. Of course, Gabriel would add candy to it. As if honey or syrup wont be enough sweetness.

            "I need to have a word with the two of you." An angry Michael appears behind them. Raphael tries to think of what they could have done when Michael hands them a small catalogue. Oh, that... "This is taking things way too far with the quinces."

          Raphael takes the catalogue and looks it over. It turned out better than they thought it would. 'Lucy's Garden'  all natural health and home care products. There are random quince facts all over the pages with the first page being a giant picture of a ripe quince labelled "the hallmark of the human condition".

        "We may have gotten carried away." He admits.

        "Scrub your sins away with the quince and walnut shell exfoliating mix?" Michael turn the page. "Devil May Care cosmetics? What is wrong with both of you? I will not be taking your part when he sees this. And unless you can give me a damn good reason not to, you two are dismantling this corporation faster than you set it up."  

          "They're actually alot of hunter freindly products." Gabriel tries not to laugh. 

          "What?"

          "The spray perfumes are holy water based. They're all holy water based actually. There are some with silver nitrate ir silver flecks. The containers are cast iron. The quince scented henna tattoo set comes with instructions for antipossession symbols and other basic wards."

         "We have been here two weeks." Michael starts before clearly remembering Gabriel's particular talent with time manipulation as well as her recklessly indulent use of it for such incomprehensible purposes such as creating a fully functioning corporation and factory and distribution center all for the sake of a joke.

          "What if we did a different fruit each quarter?" Gabriel suggests as if that wasnt already what they'd decided to do.

          "We should probably cancel the violin lessons." Raphael says contritely.

           "Actually I'm fine with that." Michael takes back the catalogue. "This is too far. If you must prank your brother try to choose ones a little less offensively sacreligious. Alright?"

           "But that's what makes it so funny." Gabriel actually tries to defend this. But its an insistance too much.

           "What happened in the Garden of Eden is not funny." Michael looks positively furious. "At all."

           "No, but the fact that he's bothered by it is." Gabriel just will not stop.

           "No more. Do you understand me, Gabriel?"

           "Yes, sir." Finally.

           "I expected more from you, Raphael." Is all Michael says to him before leaving again. The hurt and disappointment in his voice cut Raphael to the quick. In his eagerness to get back at Lucifer even slightly, he'd actually forgotten how incredibly painful it was for Michael.

          Oh he knows why it bothers Lucifer. It didn't work. Sure Adam and Eve got in trouble, were expelled from the garden, but even then their father still favored them. What's more instead of just being stripped of all his honors for his refusal to bow to them, Lucifer's treason had to be brought to account and he was cast from Heaven.

        How could Raphael forget that Michael was the one who had to cast him down. How he himself had taken hold of Gabriel, both to comfort her and keep her from going after him as she was disposed to do. But Lucifer didn't even look at her the whole time. Not once did he turn his eyes Gabriel's way. And she was heartbroken as well. Adam and Eve were children. She loved watching them alongside their father when time allowed. And Lucifer her teacher, protector, had corrupted them, given them unto sin and death.

         "How could we have joked about this?" Raphael covers his face breifly.

          "We have to." Gabriel says quietly, not making any more sense than she usualy does. "What else can we do?" Maybe there's some sort of psychology book that can explain whats wrong with her.

         "Literally anything else!"

         "You know," Gabriel sighs, shaking her head. "Its times like this I wish I'd listened to what Dad was always telling me."

          "Oh?" Raphael puts an arm around the dejected child."What was that?"

          "I dont know." She rests her head against his shoulder. "I wasnt listening." Oh for the love of all that is holy...

          "What is wrong with you!" 

          "That was a joke," she smiles ai him,  that stupid smile she gets when she thinks shes being funny but is really just being a pain in the ass.

          "I know it was a joke. I'm not an idiot!" 

          "PASHS!" Raphael and Gabriel both look over to the bedroom door where Lucifer is standing, arms crossed, foot tapping, red eyed and clearly planning their deaths. "I know you both understand the human need for adequate sleep. Now, are you going to stop arguing like flegelings or am I going to have to rip open a vein and banish someone?"

         "We made chocolate chip pancakes and I bought instant coffee." Gabriel offers.

          "Coffee?"

          "It takes the murder from your eyes." 

          "I'm going to take a bath and go back to bed. Brett and Denny are coming over this afternoon to watch a movie. Try not to embarrass me too much." Embarrass Lucifer? Really? Did he just....

         "No, its okay." Gabriel says quickly, patting his brothers stomach. "I got some new bath bombs, try to leave me at least one of the blueberry!" She's not acknowledged. What did Gabriel do to the bath bombs? "Oh, what do you know, he actually did." Gabriel shrugs when the bath is comlpeted without incident and superglues the plates to the table instead.

        It is actually quite amusing to see Lucifer try to lift the plate while moving from table to sink, pulling herself short and breaking the plate in the process. Apparently physical comedy has more merits than he previously allowed. In fact he goes back a few moments to record it invisibly on his phone. Its one of the few truely useful features on the device.

       "You do realize, my dear sister," lucifer smiles sweetly at Gabriel, "that making yourself human has left you equally vunerable to this sort of thing." She holds up the peice of broken plate. Fora moment Raphael isnt certain if Lucifer is threatening her with a prank war or with bodily harm. But if Luci remembers anything from then fight last night, he'll realize that Gabriel at the very least is more familiar with fighting in her human body.

         'Bring it' Gabriel silently mouths, beckoning with her hand, looking fairly confident either way.

        Lucifer and Gabriel in a prank war. Raphael feels conflicted. On one hand, he doesnt want to root for Lucifer to win anything ever. On the other hand he is beyond tired of Gabriel and her jokes and loosing a prank war might just take her down a peg or two at least enough to make her a bit more serious.

          "No one is to be seriously injured and no harming innocent bystanders even slightly or Michael and I will put a stop to it immediately." Raphael declares, daring them to argue. "The winner will be the first person to grow up and stop this petty childish nonsense." They both just give him a look for this. It doesnt matter, Michael probably wont allow it to continue when he gets back anyhow.

 

            Given Gabriels tendancy to steal sweets and baked goods even when not driven by pure physical hunger its entirely reasonable for Lucifer to bake cookies when she's occupied in the shower. Luci definitely has time seeing as Gabriel is caught up singing almost the enterity of Götterdämmerung, not caring about either the waste of water or that there's a finite amount of hot water.

        The first perfectly made batch is placed immediately into the cookie jar. The second batch is prepared by replacing the white sugar with pure salt, as if she's attempting to exorcise their sister not prank her. It somehow manages to smell just as delicious as the first.

       "Don't." Lucifer warns Gabriel when she's done. Gabriel pretends to comply, wisely waiting to steal one at least until the cookies are both cool and Lucifer has grabbed and eaten one off the tray himself. Unfortunately for her, Lucifer had saved one ball of dough from the pristine batch to cook with the saltes ones.

          The look on Gabriel's face biting into the cookie is priceless, and makes for a wonderful photograph. However she throws up almost instantly. That may not be because of the prank war, so Raphael waves it cleans himself before Michael returns from wherever he is.  Apparently Gabriel had planned a few prank beforeremoving her grace and retaliates by removing the bank card from Luci's wallet and simply placing it in the bottom of the purse as if it had fallen out. 

          When Lucifer gets her phone to contact the twins, she sees the card  and goes to put it back in place. Opening her wallet leads to a small explosion of glitter that covers both him and the room. Though he doesn't let Gabriel see, this one actualy makes Lucifer smile despite the initial annoyance.

        Its reminiscent of the last prank Gabriel played on the two oldest siblings in heaven, though Michael was the one rendered sparkly. They dont count the obstacle course as a prank, as Gabriel claims it wasnt actually intended as one. Things couldnt possibly escalate to obstacle course levels though, could they? No. He and Michael will put a stop to it well before that.

 

           Raphael is so enthralled by the textbooks that he compeltely neglects to consider that the twins don't know about Gabriels missing leg anymore than Lucifer did.

            "Oh dear god!" Denny steps back into her brother at the sight of Gabriel on crutches, missing two thirds of her right leg. Brett doesnt blink, though he's taken a back enough to be knocked off balance by his sisters misstep.

            "Yeah, I broke the prosthetic last night." Gabriel shrugs, pretending not to find their reaction incredibly amusing.

            "What.. how..."

             "Bar fight."

             "You lost your leg in a barfight?"

             "No, her prosthetic." Luci frowns at her sister. "Ignore her, she's being a brat." He's still covered in glitter and made no attempt to remove it as he does in fact look incredibly fetching  like that. He doesn't care at all that its getting absolutely everywhere, including his 'freinds' when he hugs them in greeting.

         "It was a law suit. Years ago." Gabriel lies. "I did fairly well out of it actually. I got to keep my arm." The twins have learned to ignore people quite as well as Lucifer. Hopefully its the worst they'll get from him.

          "So thats why you always wear those awesome boots." Denny exclaims suddenly, letting herself be led of into the theater which. They had to leave it since the twins saw it. That probably goes for the leg now as well.

            The twins want The Lego Movie as they hadn't seen it in theaters. Gabriel had tried to get his siblings to watch it before but his endorsement of it being the greatest commercial ever made didn't reccommend it despite the fact that she wasn't being sarcastic. 

             Raphael would be surprised at seeing the twins again, but for how there was all that gossip from Bretts mother on how heartbroken her little boy was now that he'd been rejected. And if only that poor little girl could get past her pride, she'd have had the support of such a wonderful understanding young man.  Somehow Lucifer was painted as either in the wrong for not wanting to see the twins after her humiliation or as a delicate helpless child crippled by her affliction to be pitied,and apparently as that was not part of her plan, it was unacceptable.

        At least she's not entirely back on her game. Severe cramps do seem to interfere with her thought processes. Raphael breifly wonders if part of the reason Lucifer locked himself in the bathroom was due to that particular monthly affliction. The timing was a bit of a coincidence. It may have been at least a factor. It'll be interesting to see if it happens again next month.

          Lucy and Brett sit up midway since Gabriel claims the back row like a good chaperone. Though when Denny joins her the two spend the film throwing popcorn at their siblings.  Raphael is unsure if that counts as a prank. Probably more just being annoying, so he indulges in stealing a few of Gabriel's skittles and tosses them gently onto the top if Luci's head. He does have to dunk them in soda so they'll stick and congeal in her hair. This earns him a fist bump from Gabriel who notices far quicker than Lucifer does.

           Lucifer retrieves some cookies from the jar for Denny and Brett, so Gabriel decides to snag some herself. When Denny, lacking Lucifers guile, can't help but watch her go a bit expextantly, Raphael knows somethings about to happen. He's not to the end of the row when Gabriel utters an earshattering shreik. By the time Raphael reaches the kitchen, Michael has already returned in response to Gabriel's distress.

         Raphael quickly pauses time to take a picture of the scene. There's a broken cookie jar lid with a string taped to the underside. The other end of the string is attched to an enormous hairy live tarantula. Gabriel has half climbed up onto Michaels shoudlers, which is a remarkable feat given her handicap. She looks absolutely terrified, and Michael ever so slightly amused by that, trying not to show it.

           "That creature is not even slightly dangerous." Michael attempts to soothe her, by speaking gently and not laughing.

            "I am aware of that. However my limbic system holds a different belief structure." She blushes, not really loosening her grip. Michael just walks over to the couch and places her down on it.

           "Don't kill Tony." Denny quickly brushes past Raphael with her mini backpack to scoop up the arachnid. "She has babies back home." This revelation just makes Gabriel turn pale and have to put her head between her knees. Raphael's beginning to think that angel's death by spider was worse than it sounded when Gabriel recounted it.

            Michael notices the preponderance of glitter scattered about the cottage and gives Raphael a questioning look that disappears when Lucifer comes out. He bites his lip and turns back to Gabriel.

        "A replacement leg is being shipped to us." He pats Gabriel's back. "You used it as a weapon in a brawl. Dont expect miracles." 

         A line has been drawn regarding cleaning up after his siblings it seems, as Raphael is fairly sure if it wasnt irreperably damaged before his fight with the norse diety, Michael would have said something. Of course, the wait may be because of the catalogue.

        Its too bad he couldnt have gotten a recording of Gabriel finding the spider, but Michael probably wouldnt have approved of that. He probably wont approve of the photograph either depending on how much he's done with Gabriel's jokes in general. Well, it doesnt matter, how long can this go on for in general. At this speed they'll run out of pranks in days.

 

         "She's gone too far!" Lucifer angrily shouts to an unsympathetic Michael, "Do you see this?" He holds out a clump of destroyed hair.  His skin is still slightlys blue from the bath bomb. But as that was another thing that somehow made her look fantastic, that was taken in stride. Replacing her deep conditioning treatment with Nair on the other hand.... "Do you know what kind of chemicals and toxins are in that?" He continues when Michael just reaches out and restores the lustrous locks, removing the remaining dye for good measure.

          Not even a thank you from the spoiled brat of course. Although its her own damn fault for upping the stakes by putting that honeycomb and royal jelly in the body of her new leg.

             Raphael flips through the gallery on his phone. The bedroom webbed with silly string. Gabriels clothes being replaced with ones four sizes too big.  Various uses for plastic wrap, bucket of liquid, and duct tape. The trampoline bed was moved to the  roof. Gabriel was ductaped to the ceiling in her sleep. Lost a good bit of her eyebrows with that one since they taped her head in place with a band around the forhead.

         Those last two had included minor help from Raphael and Michael respectively. After Lucifer enlisted the twins for help in that spider spider prank, Raphael felt no need to stay completely nuetral. And that of course let Lucifer argue for Michaels assistance. Of course now they're just plain arguing.

 

            "Is it safe to go back in yet?" Gabriel asks as Raphael joins her by the lake.

            "That one was maybe a bit too much."

            "He had all my candy replaced with sugar free versions in regular wrappers! No she crossed the line way before I did."

            "The 'line' was obliterated when you started a prank war with the devil, Gabriel." He reminds her. "How are you feeling?"

            "Tired, sore as hell. My chest still aches from being taped to the ceiling like that." She frowns rubbing her breasts.

           "Maybe you should concede."

           "Are you kidding me? This is just getting good." The angel makes no sense, as always, which is as comforting as it is annoying. 

           "How in the name of all that is do you come to that conclusion?"

          "Well, for one, you know you're enjoying it. Luci and Michael are getting on famously. We're cementing familial bonds, Raph." Gabriel smacks his leg with the back of her hand. 

           "I wont deny my part but they're currently fighting over this last one."

          "I'd better go back and take lumps." Gabriel sighs slowly getting back up. "You coming?"

         "I'll skip this one, thanks." Raphel hands her the crutches. 

          "So Im going back in there alone? Some guardian angel you are." She teases. Raphael just shakes his head and sits down on log, watching an odd fish making circles up at the surface of the water.

         "...anything like this again she's losing another damned leg, thats whats going to happen!" Lucifer hits record volume which means hes still fighting with Michael at this point. You know its bad when Lucifers louder tha  Michael. After a few more minutes, Gabriel's retreated back to the lake. 

         "Okay, this isnt good. I apologized and ceded the prank war and they're still fighting."

         "Maybe you'd better go back home for a few nights."

         "No, I'm the reason they're fighting. I have to stay and try to fix it this time." Gabriel shakes her head. There's no way that ends well. 

         "Gabriel,"Raphael sighs, "You aren't the reason they're fighting, you're just the excuse."

          "C'mon, Raph..."

          "No, I mean it. Do you think that everything that happened between them is just water under the bridge? Michael's not over it. Lucifer never gets over anything if it doesnt suit him. You can't just shove them together and expect them to forget and forgive enough to just stop hurting."

         "They just need to build newer better memories together, accumulate more good than bad."

            "I don't think thats going to be enough."

           "They just have to remember they love each other more than they hurt."

           "They don't, Gabriel. Not any more." The frown on his sisters face is both stubborn and petulant. "There are things you just cant get past, and I'm fairly sure they passed that point several times already. At best they'll just get along when they have to be around each other, like they have been. And you know thats not so bad a thing."

          "Oh, ye of little faith."

          "Don't quote scripture at me. And no I have no faith in Lucifer. I still cant believe you do. Either of you!"

            "They just need a little nudge thats all."

            "I swear to god if you do anything like that obstacle course again." Raphael straightens up,

           "And how could I at the moment?"

          "You leave our big sister out of your twisted machinations, Gabriel, I mean it. Michael does not need more of your nonsense."

           "Fine. I'll just... try and make up with Luci and see if that helps things." She finally finally gives in. "I'm going to run to the store, want to go with me?"

          "No. I'm going to stay here so Michaels free to leave when they're done arguing."

          "I don't suppose you'd go back in and get my leg and purse for me."

          "Hell no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are unaware  
> violin=fiddle
> 
>  
> 
> If you know anyone who would can draw to help me illustrate these could you put me in touch? Or if you wanted to, i would love to see them and maybe put some up. 
> 
> A picture I desperately want - Luci, Gabriel and Raphael in female vessels, doing the original charlies angels poses, original hair styles , with guns not high kicks behind Michael (john winchester/matt cohen) as bosley sitting at the desk feet up on it, with 'charlie's radio shaped like a little church. If you dont want this picture now too, i am deeply concerned for the state of your soul.


	15. The Parent Trap pt 1: Ungrateful Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel hears from her son Jormungandr
> 
> Michael and Lucifer fight like a divorced couple.
> 
> Mouthy Gabriel and hypocrite Lucifer have a bareknuckle brawl.
> 
> Candle lit romantic dinner as an apology.  
> Because Gabriel does not know to stop kidding around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized after writing it that Gabriel and Raphael kind of ended up sounding like children talking about their estranged or divorced parents in the last chapter.

         It's been quiet. Too quiet. At least for the last several hours. This morning Michael and Lucifer were arguing over Lucifers innappropriate relationship with Brett Hanlon. Which is odd as its not physically intimate at all, and consists of the two attempting to out nice and overly frustrate each other at any given moment. Gabriel has no idea what game their playing, but whatever it is no one's actually getting hurt or having their soul jeapordized, so it can't be that bad.

        She dropped in to see her husband monday and tuesday. That went well. After a desperately needed demolition, though she felt oddly weepy and guilty for some reason and decided that then was the perfect time to confess her current project to him. It turns out that it was seeing as it was one of his weeks in the betting pool. That's not to say that there wasn't a hell of a fight, but it ended in more nuptual bliss and not divorce so that's a win in her book. Plus now she can finally talk to him about it all, which was the worst part of keeping it a secret.

          He was fairly insistant that she take back her grace, which she refused to do. The entire point of removing it was so that she could bond with her brother in mutual exile. Maybe it was a far more temporary or self imposed exile, but its still a shared experience and part of the plan. Strengthen familial bonds, build up positive experiences within humanity, foster productive forms of self expression, create a life more valuable to him than his pride. Give him something to want to change for.

          Granted it still doesn't seem like much progress, but Lucifer apologized. Presumably for killing her, he didnt specify. Possibly for everything. But still it was an apology. It wasnt until she told sam about the seizures though, that he relented. Well, that at when gabriel reminded him that there are all kinds of powers in the world that dont use grace or a soul. Granted they'd have to last resorts. You dont do anything in front of Lucifer too often unless you wanted him to learn it.

     "What are you smiling about?" Luci is still snippy it seems, ever the joy to be around.

       "Im just happy to be alive."

       "You're well rested at least. Why do you keep sleeping so much. Are you out frolicking in the moonlight after i fall asleep for something?" Lucifer sits down on the couch next to her as she sits up and stretches.

     "Im fairly sure its just the fact that my dreams are nothing but spider nightmares and i keep waking up. Maybe you're not sleeping enough. You are a growing girl."

     "Unfortunately." He spreads his arms along the back on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. "What do you do when you leave here? You mentioned other people, other thungs to do but i assume having your grace was a large part of the job. And now you've done this," he gently touches her throat. "What makes you so happy and why can't you share it with me? It is part of the human experience obviously." 

          There are a million possible replies to this but few that lead to things she wants to talk about with him.

          "We all have our secrets, Luci. I do have a realm to help manage but I've arranged for time off of my self assigned duties for personal matters at the moment. If you must know the natural order has evolved, just like everything else. Death is both more and less permanent and rebirth has come to the playing feild. It's a new day, brother, and I hope before the next to find you your own place in it."

         "What realm?" Lucifer demands, ignoring everything else as mollifying hubris.

         "A new one. I'll show you someday."

         "When?"

         "I dunno, take your daughter to work day?" Gabriel tweaks her brothers nose.

        "You dont trust me."

        "Of course not."

        "Yet you removed your grace, made yourself human, vulnerable at no higher level than me. I thought that meant something." He puts his hand gently to her cheek. "How could you voluntarily join me in disgrace if you dont trust me."

          "It isnt a disgrace, and you're not the brother I'm trusting in this situation." Gabriel grabs the nearest crutch and gets to her feet. She looks over to Raphael who's been sitting quietly, reading more large textbooks. He just gives a smug half smile and continues reading.

        "That's absurd."

        "Absurd is locking yourself in the bathroom for five days." Raphael just has to make unhelpful comments.

        "The two of you argue constantly,"

        "And yet I've never once even tried to kill her."

        "I said I trusted him, not that we agree on everything." Gabriel whacks his leg with her crutch hopefully imparting that he should shut up and stop provoking him.

       "You have a fucking text message!" Her phone screams. Her brother in law got hold of her phone again it seems. Gabriel practically hurls herself back to try and get it before Lucifer can with no success.

       "There's no name for the sender." Luci comments. "Keep your damn brother out of Valhalla?"

       "What?" Gabriel grabs the phone back and calls the number. "Oh, its you...., your father and what do you mean keep.... is there a better word for the man who raised you as his own son than father?.... I'm am angel, Yuri, we actually have neither sex nor gender.... and that attitude is why you're not married. Now if you can stop insulting me, what do you mean keep my damn brother put of Valhalla?"

          "Please tell me they're talking about you." Lucifer shockingly adresses Raphael outright instead of further ignoring him. He just raises an eyebrow.

          "What in the depths would I be doing in Valhalla?"

         "What would Michael be doing in Valhalla?" Lucifer retorts.

         "I dont know what would god's ultimate soldier be doing in a hall of drunken warriors?" Raphael goes back to his book.

         "So what exactly is the problem? Is daddy mad because he's no longer the center of attention anymore? Or are you just jealous because your lover has a new sparring partner? Because I fail to see how a brawl of epic proportions is anything anyone else there objects to. Unless it's the constant losing. Really, you should look at it as a learning experience." Gabriel laughs. "I regret to inform you that as the eldest created beng, Michael does not take orders from me..... Sure keep telling yourself that kid. Tell Grandpappy to go fuck himself and if he wants Michael to leave he should take care of it himself, or does he feel another nap coming on?..... excuse me?" Gabriel's jaw drops. "He told you to say that to me? He did? If i were an oathbreaker i could explain a few truths to you son.... I'll call you my son if I damn well please. As for anything else ask your mother. She'll explain it to you..... fuck you, too... well, if I recall, he died down there, so I wouldn't call that doing me a favor..."

          "Gabriel." Raphael gets to his feet and touches her shoulder. "Allow me." Gabriel hands him the phone and goes to the door as there's a knock. It's UPS.

         "Oh, finally." She signs for the small package and closes the door. Lucifer is preoccupied violently chopping vegetables. 

         "If you say such things to my little sister again I will journey to neiflheim and bind you to the bottom of the ocean until you pray for her forgiveness. It is only her affection for you which prevents me doing worse. You are indeed no child of hers." Raphael hangs up and gives the phone back to Gabriel. A vague look of approval from Lucifer makes him regret his words. Gabriel doesnt look entirely pleased, besides.

         "I thought you were going to just address the problem of Michael." Gabriel frowns, opening the box and taking a plush silcon pad for between her leg and prosthetic.  No wonder she's been using the crutches so much.

        "I was but he continued the abuse before i could introduce myself." He replies, apparating her prosthetic. "I could have made you more of these when i removed the honey combs."

         "They were already on order and i love going around town freaking everybody out. They're still trying to find out how I can drive a car despite that you only need to press one pedal at time."

          "So who is this Yuri?" Lucifer asks cooly. "More children you haven't told us about?"

           "No. Yuri is Jormungandr. Its a nickname."

           "You nicknamed him Yuri. He must have been your favorite. What happened?"

           "What always happens, irreconsilable differences. You're going to be late, Raph." Gabriel reminds him.

           "I'll have to fetch Michael. He's shut down the link. You'll be alone  a few minutes." Raphael glances over to Lucifer.

          "I think we can survive." She heads over to the kitchen sink, pausing to adjust the limb slightly.

          "Irreconsilable differences? Lucifer prods putting the knife down as Gabriel leans against the counter. He's not going to let it go, so the abridged version.

         "He doesn't approve of my lifestyle." Very abridged.

          "Gabriel." Lucifer turns and kisses her forehead. "Nobody approves of your lifestyle." Its said with such affection that she has to laugh. "Come here, 'aiskling'." Gabriel just rolls her eyes and accepts the hug. "No matter what I do, I love you. Remember that when i mercilessly torment you for what you did to my hair."

        "You sure I can't just buy you off?"

        "My church doesnt sell indulgences," Lucifer tweaks her nose and turns back to his veggies. Gabriel discretely palms a steak knife from the drying silverware, just in case.

         "What about a stay of execution? I'll extend your allowance to a hundred dollars a week." This gets a laughing smile from Lucifer.

          "I'll think about it. Dont ever attempt to disfigure me again."

       "Oh please, like either of us thought for a second Michael wouldnt fix your hair." Gabriel scoffs.

        "Don't talk to me about what that bastard would or would not do. Brawling with pagans?" The salad appears to be becoming a coleslaw. "This is your influence."

          "I hope so. Michael deserves to be able to relax every now and then." The look Lucifer sends his way at this is positively murderous.

           "Did I say he didn't?"

           "I could introduce him to the vanir if you prefer he engage in a less violent past time. Freya's always up for a good time...."

           "Pagan gods are the fevered nightmares of a jaundiced infant and unworthy of your attention much less Michael's." Gabriel breifly considers letting this go. Breifly.

          "Those fevered nightmares are just as much my family as any of you. They've been every bit as good and bad to me as you have. Well,"she considers. "Maybe not quite as bad, but not for lack of trying."

           "Everyone you meet tries to kill you. Have you ever considered that maybe the common factor is you?" Of course this is just intolerable coming from Lucifer out of all God's creation.

          "I'm beginning to see why Michael kept beating your ass all those years."

          "You keep mouthing off like this, its your ass getting beaten.  I am still your older brother and you will show me some respect." Lucifer turns back around to face her, knife still in hand.

          "Nobody is beating anybody." And Michael is back positioned protectively in front of Gabriel further irritating Lucifer.

           "Pagans, Michael?" And the fight is back to between the elders. "You're grappling with pagans now?"

          "I dont see its any business of yours what i do."

          "Not my business? I am your brother."

          "Why should that mean any more in regards to my actions than it apparently did in regards to yours? If I feel like engaging in combat with someone what exactly is that to you?"

         "Combat? You call that combat? None of them even come close to being your equal. You want to massacre them? Fine, do it once and move on to better things."

         "And who exactly was ever my equal?" Michael's retort makes Gabriel wince. Its very clear where this argument is going now if Lucifers angry silence is any indication.

         "Well," he says softly with a dangerous smile. "If its beating on a creature that can 't do you any real harm that you need, there's no need to go all the way to Valhalla." And Lucifer stab him right in the heart with the butcher knife. Before Michael can respond and inadvertantly cripple his brother, Gabriel finishes the banishing sigil and sends him who knows where to cool down.

           "What the fuck, Luci!" Gabriel exclaims as he turns on her.

           "What do you think you're doing you little shit? How dare you banish your brother like that?" Seeing Lucifer's fury, Gabriel brings the knife up on pure instinct.

           "You just stabbed him, you dick!"

          "And which action would actually hurt him?" Lucifer grabs the cutting board, and uses it to smack the kinfe from his sisters hand. "I have taken a hell of a lot from you, young lady. But this is beyond the pale!"

           "So what you're going to kill me again?"

          "Oh, little girl, you are going to wish I had."

          

          Lucifer strides angrily out to the forest, for as far away from that damn cottage as he can. Unbelievable, that disrespectful, impertinent brat. All those insults, pranks, jokes at his expense... exactly how much is he expected to put up with and for how long? And then to actually banish Michael. She sliced open her own hand to banish him! Of all the audacious.... clearly this is the influence of that broken seraph. He'll have to be kept away from her some how. Maybe even eliminated entirely. No. He'll likely only be brought back again.

        And of course Raphael would intervene, but thats hardly unexpected. The boy delights in being a pain in the ass. But what was most troubling was that even with one leg and a cut and bleeding hand, Gabriel was less than decisively overwhelmed by his assault. He might have hurt her a bit more than he intended because of that.

          He had to focus on disabling her attacks instead of just inflicting pain and even that didnt seem to work as intended.   She never knows when to quit. He probably would have had to kill her or beat her unconcious to end it. A niggling thought says that might not be how it would have ended, but thats absurd, so he pushes it aside.

           Neither would she shut up. 'Its never just between you and Michael' indeed. Maybe if everyone didnt insist on inserting themselves in the middle then it could be. But no, every single creature on earth has to interfere with their affairs. Granted its what he's expecting but it's still no less irritating. Nor were Michael's hurtful words.

        "You should not have laid hands on her." Michael says as Lucifer finally stops for breath. Lucifer should have expected he'd side with his new favored sibling.

        "She hurt you." He reminds his ungrateful brother.

         "She was clearly trying to keep me from hurting you."

         "That's no excuse. It's not her place to interfere."

          "Isn't it? She is our sister."

           "Then you would have hurt me so badly that I should be grateful she hurt you instead?" He challenges,

            "I dont know. My temper has not improved and I have difficulty remembering how altered you are." The confession takes Lucifer by surprise, though he knows it can't possibly be true.

            "How do you manage that? I'm.... disfigured, deformed, crippled, and diminished. I dont understand how you even recognize me at all." He throws up his hands. And its true, all his beauty has been stripped away, his powers, his wing. His essence is shoved into this inadequate form. He's not even a shadow of his former self.

         "I dont think its quite so bad as you seem to believe, but even if it were, I hear your voice and thats all that seems to matter." Michael brushes back a strand of his brothers hair from his eyes, healing his many embarrasing injuries with the touch. Lucifer realizes that of the many bodily functions he can control, blushing is not yet one of them.

           "You know that your saying things like that is why Gabriel made that obstacle course, right."

           "I'm fairly sure it was because of all the fighting." Michael must be missing the point deliberately, "Raphael's taking Gabriel out for the night. I think you two need a little time apart from each other." Michael gestures back towards the cottage. It does look like its going to rain, so Lucifer turns back.

        "I've forgotten just how exhausting she is. But she was just gone for two days. How is that not a long enough time apart?"

         "Generally, beating each other to a pulp indicates a breif separation is still needed." Michael gives a small one sided infuriating smile. Its ridiculous that it got as bad as it did. It really is.

         "This body is younger, weaker and I havent had the use of it nearly as long. Gabriel's been working with hers for years." He protests. 

          "If you'd like to strengthen it, I could try to train you." Michael offers. lucifer's first impulse is to refuse, but with the disastrous altercation so fresh in his memory, he reconsiders.

           "Just so long as it doesnt interfere with my violin lessons." He rolls his eyes. "I'm learning the guitar next."

           "You could practice both. It isnt as if you have to go to school."

            "True." Lucifer opens the cottage door to see the table pulled out in the middle of the kitchen. It's set with a lovely lace table cloth, two wine glases, roses and a large tray of chocolate covered strawberries and bowl of whipped cream that Gabriel knows damn well he can't eat. There are several bottles of consecrated wine piled into a pyramid on the counter. Almost every surface is covered with white cloth, rose petals and candles. So many candles.  There's also a card between the wine glasses.

        "For your evening 'alone'. Dont do any thing I haven't done. Enjoy," he reads in Gabriel's handwriting. Apparently he did not beat that child hard enough. 

        "That was thoughtful." Michael takes one of the bottles of wine from the counter. Lucifer's not entirely sure if Michael's screwing with him or not. At least not until he pours the wine with a laughing smile.

       "Did I or did I not tell you?" 

       "You did." Michael sighs shaking his head. "Lets look of it this way. We can have a pleasant evening before the kids are back." He's clearly finding this far too humorous for Lucifer's liking. "That is, if you can keep from stabbing me again."

          "With that attitude I wouldn't count on it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Gabriel beat the crap out of Lucifer. She got the crap beaten out of her as well, but she held her own and I feel very proud of her. So is Michael.


	16. The Parent Trap Part 2: The Problem With Nephilim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is not happy with the results of her teasing her siblings.
> 
> Raphael lets slip a secret about Gabriel even she didnt know.
> 
> The real reason Nephilim were forbidden,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter, sorry.
> 
> Fy faen (norweigian) fucking hell

            "I can't believe I fell asleep in the theater. The movie wasn't that bad and those chairs aren't that comfortable." Gabriel stretches as they walk down the empty streets.

            "If you'd seen more than the first fifteen minutes, you'd have a different opinion. I would have preferred unconciousness myself."  The movie was violent, stupid, and existed in a world apparently slowly depopulating itself, due to the extraordinarily skewed male to female ratio. Granted most movies seem to be set in such a world, but he finds it no less grating.

            "And why didn't you wake me when they locked up the building? "

            "You need your sleep, and you're not getting enough back at the cottage. I really think you should be spending your nights at the bunker until we add another room to the cottage. Or we could repurpose the theater. That would be far more convenient as you're insisting on following proper planning and zoning laws for further alterations to the dimensions of the cottage."

           "If you and Michael hadnt let the twins into the house, it wouldnt be an issue. But it would be noticed now. As for going back to the bunker I wouldnt exactly be sleeping there either. We could just install a few sofa beds instead of stadium seating, but then you and Michael couldn't watch movies at night."

           "We don't watch movies without you. Are you ready to go home or would you prefer to just get a room? I know how fond you Winchesters are of cheap motels."

           "Just because I married a Winchester, doesn't make me one. I mean it sure as hell doesnt make him an archangel."

           "Your plaid lingerie says differntly. I refuse to believe you were not also secretly joining your names together in a little notebook covered with pictures of ancient birth control and glitter." 

          "Ha! Wrong Mrs. Winchester." Despite his joke, hearing his sister referred to as Mrs. Winchester always makes Raphael cringe. "That always kills me, though. A heart indeed.  So do you think Luci's asleep yet or did they start fighting again?"

          "It's three in the morning so she's probably asleep." 

          "Alright. Home then?" Since absolutely no one is around to witness, Raphael just takes them directly back to the cottage. The candles have burnt out but the light is still on in the bedroom. 

            "Well," Gabriel says quietly, checking the empty wine bottles. "No blood, no distruction, no death threats to me carved on the walls. I think the evening went...." she stops at the sight of a shirt on the floor and another article of clothing under the beaded curtain. There are a few buttons scattered on the floor as well, "Okay, very funny." She, picks them up, heading to the bedroom to toss the clothes inside. When she brushes back the beaded curtain, she freezes. Raphael manages to take a few pictures before Gabriel flees the apartment.

 

         "Gabriel. Slow down," Raphael appears beside his wild eyed sister in the passengers seat. He's fairly sure the speedometer shouldnt be in the red zone. 

           "No." She finally speaks.

           "You'll overheat the engine."

           "No. Nonononono, oh father, no." She just starts starts shaking her head, so Raphael forces the car to slow and pull over to the side of the road. Gabriel immediately starts hyperventilating.

           "I dont understand why you're bothered by this, considering your time as a pagan god. This sort of thing should be neither new nor shocking." He pats her back, with very little real concern.

          "You...dick..."she manages betwen gasps for air.

          "As thats clearly where you're heading, I'm taking you to your husband." The scene changes into a cheap motel where its not surprising to find both Winchesters still awake and tending injuries. 

            "What's wrong? What happened?" Sam immediately assesses the look on his wife's face.

            "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! BOTH OF YOU!"

            "What?" Dean  frowns. "Oh, thanks, dude." He nods to Raphael as their wounds are healed, solely to keep from causing Gabriel further distress.

           "If you'd just played your damn roles like I told you to this never would have happened!" And she has lost english altogether and has reverted to enochian which her husband.has only started to learn.

           "I'm not so sure, sister. There is a wealth of literature on Morethanbrothers.com that claims otherwise." Raphael takes his phone out and scrolls through the gallery, ignoring the murderous look she gives him.

        "What did she say?" Dean frown, having put absolutely no effort into learning the language at all.

         "She's yelling at you for not submitting to the apocalypse. I'm inclined to agree." He translates as  Sam helps his wife breathe into a peice of bag.

         "What the hell happened?"

         "I'm sending the picture to your phone now but it started with one of Gabriels jokes."

           "YOU TOOK PICTURES?" She launches herself at him, trying to grab his phone, he just holds it above his head.

           "Holy... is that a trampoline?" Sam frowns as Dean brings him the phone.

           "Huh, never figured Michael for a biter." He turns the phone on its side. "Not for nothing Raph, but you have a real eye for photography. The staging on this is incredible."

        "She does look a little young,"Sam says slowly, "but I dont understand why you're this upset. Michael's hardly the first angel to..."

           "That's Lucifer, you moose!"

           "What?"

          "It was a joke I swear! Because they fight like divorcees. I didnt expect them to get drunk and..." Gabriel is forced to grab the paper bag again.

           "Well, it looks bad, sure but it doesn't..." Dean starts, until Raphael sends the next picture. "Wow, that's one hell of a kiss."

            "They have always had an intensly physical inclined relationship. I'm surprised that as their vessels, you arent aware of that on some level." Raphael can't help but tease his brother in laws who look about as taken a back as Gabriel now.

             "Sammy, I swear, I have only ever wanted to kill you." Dean crosses his heart. He gets a withering look in reply. 

             "Obviously," Sam regroups, "but you know, those incest taboos only apply due to genetics, hereditary diseases and such. Sibling love is frequent in multiple pantheons. In fact angels have fallen physically in love with other angels while in vessels before and aren't you all brothers?"

              "Thats not quite the..." Gabriel starts to argue before realizing how suspicious it is that she's the only one disturbed by it to an appropriate degree. "Oh, don't even tell me...."

             "You have a fucking text message!" 

              She pulls out her phone to receive a text written with a picture of Michael and Lucifer smiling holding up fingers in a v signs. 'The prank war is over. The queen has fallen. Long live the king.'

             "Were you all in on this?" Her voice is deadly quiet.

             "Michael texted me during the movie and I contacted them while you were asleep." Raphael grins at her.

             "I want a divorce."

             "I didnt expect the prank to go in quite this direction, he just said one was in progress not to worry and to play along." Sam frowns at the image. Dean just saves it for potential blackmail fodder. "But i suppose anything less extreme wouldnt have worked."

            "That was awesome. Disturbing but worth the look on your face. I dont suppose you got a picture of that." Dean looks to Raphael.

            "I documented the entirety of the prank war." Raphael grins.

             "Dude, you've got to let me see," As he's definitely the winchester to appreciate it, Raphael sends the rest of the files.

            "I will get you for this."Gabriel seethes.

            "Please, you know you more than had it coming." Dean scoffs, Sam is silent, trying valiantly not to laugh. "But i'll tell you what, we're even for the mystery spot. How about that?"

          "Fine, but as for you Raph."

           "Wings." He reminds her.

           "You forcibly ionized me for that. You dont get to use that!"

            "I think I do."

            "And if you ever sedate me again, for a prank or otherwise."

             "I did not sedate you!"

             "You expect me to believe i just happened to fall asleep in the theater at the beginning of a movie I hadnt seen?"

             "You certainly did and you shouldn't be surprised. You know how the human body gets excessively tired during the first trimester." Raphael snaps back. 

            "Its not like you're shy about.... what did you just say?" Gabriel stops. Raphael winces when he realizes what he just revealed.

             "I'm sorry. I didnt mean to let it slip. It's been a long day with too many secrets."

             "You're pregnant?" Sam looks down at his scowling wife, who's determined not to fall for another joke so soon.

              "Of course not. That's absurd." She shakes her head. Raphael only then realizes that she wasnt actually aware.

              "I'm so sorry, I thought you knew."

              "Raph," She starts to look troubled."That's not even close to funny."

              "This isnt a joke. Why else do you think I agreed to remove your grace? I thought thats why you really asked."

              "Do you think I'd have gotten fall down drunk at karaoke night or gotten into a brawl with an entire sorority if I did? I certainly wouldnt have gotten into a knock down drag out fight with friggin Lucifer if I knew I was pregnant!"

               "What?" Sam exclaims.

                "It was fantastic. We beat the crap out of each other."she grins, "He wasnt trying to kill me either. I really think we're making progress,"

                "And when were you going to tell me this? You're putting your grace back as soon as cas returns from heaven. I mean it. "

               "No!" Gabriel exclaims.

               "Absolutely not." Raphael says firmly.

               "Did removing it work?" Gabriel turns to her brother, "How far along am I?"

               "Just a few weeks, and no, it didn't."  

              "Fy faen." Sam draws to attention at this. When Gabriel swears in norweigian it's generally very bad.

             "What does that mean?" He asks. "Why would removing your grace be a good thing when pregnant."

              "Because nephilim, children born of an angel and a human, are forbidden." Of course Gabriel can't give a straight answer. 

             "Well, we've broken enough rules to know we can deal with breaking this one as well." Dean decides. "Besides you know Cas won't let anything happen to either of you, no matter what the other angels want." Raphael feels his temper growing short. These idiots understand nothing. You'd think with marriage she'd have told him something about that.

            "The other angels aren't the danger. And neither is Lucifer. Dont you know why nephilim are forbidden? Because the pregnancy and birth kill the mothers without fail. The human body cant take the strain. And those angels who posses pregnant vessels either during gestation or for conception have their grace stolen by the developing child. They die as well."

           "What about an abortion?" Sam asks quietly.

            "Dude thats your kid."

            "No, its a clump of cells that are going to kill my wife."

             "We tried terminating the pregnancies. Chemically, surgically, magically, its too intertwined with the mother's life force. Any sucessful attempt to terminate the pregnancy ended the mother as well."

           "What about healing her during the pregnancy? Was that tried or were they just left to fate."

           "Of course it was tried! I spent centuries trying to save my family from their folly. The best that could be done was continue healing the mother until birth and hope the delivery was not too traumatic to heal her before she died. You cant interfere with the body during the delivery, that could endanger the child and thus the mother again. You had to wait until the child was born. That was the only way it ever worked." Raphael says looking to his sister's ridiculously small vessel. It never worked with a woman of so slight a frame. 

               "Thats why these things had to be dealt with so ruthlessly." He explains after the pause. "If it had been allowed the resulting deaths of human women would have caused humanity to dwindle and become nothing."

          "Yeah, a flood wiping out almost the whole globe makes so much more sense with that in mind." Gabriel snaps, still a little bitter about the purge.

             "Did you forget how many of those children set themselves up as gods? I am beginning to think however that spoke less to the inherent nature of nephilim than to the trauma of their motherless up bringing and resentment leveled at them by the mothers families combined with the sociological influence of warrior societies. With the proper precaution and training, your child may end up being less of a hazard to existence than the three of you."

           "Thats rich coming from one of the architects of the apocolypse." Dean retorts as Sam and Gabriel seem inclined to ignore the remark. 

            "Dean, Raphael, Babe and I need some time alone to talk." Sam speaks up before using that ridiculous nickname. 

            "Right. I'm going to get some coffee and look over these pictures. Please tell me you got some shots of Gabriel beating up Lucifer." Dean grins over to his brother.in.law. Raphael smiles and follows him out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the false alarm Michifer fans. I promise it will happen.
> 
> To find out about the wings prank Raphael is referring to, read my fic, Idle Hands. 
> 
> Shoot read all the four little archangel fics for pre fall tales.


	17. Breaking the News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer irritates the hell out of Michael.
> 
> Gabriel drags the siblings to a supernatural convention, full cosplay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering why Lucifer is so prissy about his current vessel given his disdain for humanity and utter lack of concern for Nicks, everyone knows that person who trashes everybody elses place, but throws a fit if you dont use a coaster and remove your shoes at theirs.
> 
>  
> 
> PS this is all kind of first draft so comments and corrections are more than welcome.

    "Where's Gabriel?" Michael asks as Raphael reappears in the cottage alone.

    "A motel." Raphael checks to see if Lucifer is asleep and gives his head a tap to ensure he stays that way. "She's driving back in the morning."

    "Is she angry?" Michael doesn't sound overly concerned. Gabriel's played enough pranks over the years to have earned one herself. Setting herself up as a pagan god being not the least of the things she has to be taken to account for.

    "Furious." Raphael gives a slight smile. "I pulled the Winchesters in on it, it was actually pretty funny."

    "Did you take pictures?" Michael doesn't look up from his notebook. Raphael's silent, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to admit to it either. "I know you've been documenting everything. Hand me your phone." Raphael meekly complies. Michael finds the gallery fairly quickly considering his lack of skill with electronics.  He laughs at the last picture, then stops and blushes slightly. "That was Lucifer's improvisation. I didn't know he was going to do that."

    "Well, I'm fairly certain it was the kiss that pushed the scene into believability, given Gabriel's background with staging and pornography." Raphael winces at his own words. She deserved the prank for that alone. "So, hopefully that makes it worth it."

    "It was infinitely preferable to a knife in the chest, but I'll never understand why kisses have such a romantic connotation." Michael frowns at the images.

    "There are actually several reproductive benefits to the act, biologically speaking. There usually are. But there's such meaning to it." Raphael crosses his arms uncomfortably, neither wanting to think too hard about that kiss or his own. "Not that I'm saying there was anything more beyond selling the prank, but kisses can be very expressive or evocative of romantic feeling."

    "Hmm." Michael deletes the embarrassing photographs, full in the knowledge that Raphael won't dare comment. "Do you think we went too far?"

    "I think anything less wouldn't have worked and she more than had it coming. But probably. I don't care so long as it teaches her a lesson. But then I wasn't the one who had to kiss our brother."

    "At the very least she understands what it was like for us finding out she was lovers with Lucifer's vessel. Speaking of the consequences of that nightmare, what's the status on her condition?"

    "It didn't work." Raphael sits down dejectedly beside his brother. "The pregnancy is viable and the fetus infused with her grace enough to be noticeable. Fortunately though by removing hers when we did, it won't be absorbed by the child. She'll be able to regain her angelic status after the child is born, but she'll have to be human for the duration. Her husband knows now. They're discussing the issue as we speak."

   "We don't get to be part of that discussion?" Michael frowns. "We're her family. This affects all of us."

   "They're the parents. We don't get a say in what they do about their child. It's not as if there are many reasonable options. We both know what's going to have to happen now as I doubt that we're going to be letting Lucifer know. He'll start devoting his entire existence to Sam Winchester's destruction if he find out and there will be absolutely no stopping it."

   "I understand the impulse. I should have destroyed that man the second I got out of the cage." Michael's grip tightens on the phone. "She didn't seem to be bearing it badly, though. Maybe she won't have to leave immediately."

    "It's early yet. And while I had thought she was just being as reckless and cavalier about her pregnancy, it turns out she just wasn't aware she was pregnant."

   "How could she not have known? It's a major biological event." Raphael just gives a shrug at Michael's disbelief. Humans just aren't as aware of the conditions of their bodies as angels are when in them. Granted there's far too much for a human brain to both monitor it consciously and also actually think coherently, but you would think they'd be aware earlier than they are. Some don't even know they're pregnant until they give birth. Though Raphael suspects that to be more a force of severe denial than actual unawareness.

    "They frequently don't notice for at least several more weeks along." Raphael taps the table a moment, trying to figure out how to say what he wants to Michael. "Michael." He takes a breath. Michael gives him, his full attention, placing the phone down and closing his notebook. "If it comes down to having to choose between taking care of Lucifer or taking care of Gabriel, I'm choosing Gabriel. And I always will. I don't care if we have to shove Lucifer back into a chrysalis for twenty years. That's just how it is."

     "I understand." And Michael probably does. "I don't see why it should come to that, though. I'm perfectly capable of watching Lucifer as things are. If I have to freeze time to fit in my sessions with Alex, that's not a problem."

    "You'll have to return to heaven first, to replenish your grace." Raphael says cautiously. Michael hasn't returned to heaven, save for ensuring Adam had made it there and securing a copy of his current vessel. He doesn't seem interested in regaining all his strength. Granted he only needs so much, but it's troubling all the same.

     "It doesn't take that much." Michael gets to his feet and walks to the cabinet. Raphael notes with annoyance that the screen is cracked on his phone. It's a minor problem as he can't fix it himself without his grace interfering with the electrical works. Just as Michael can't without overheating the item.  Human technology is as problematic as it is interesting. The lesser angels don't have this trouble with it. It's one of the few things he envies them for.

    "I'm not sure that's a good idea, having you here alone with him." Raphael picks it up. It still works at least, it just isn't as pretty.

    "When my grace reduces further, this won't be as much of an issue." Michael nods to the phone, taking the honey down.

    "It's not about the strength of your grace. It's about stress and frustration. As little as I care about you accidentally injuring Lucifer, or how sure I am that it would be in some form of reflexive self defense, I'm fairly sure you don't want that to happen. He knows how to get to you, and you don't need to subject yourself to that.  Regardless of how you respond, It won't be good for you to be alone with him."

   "I am working with Alex on that account. But we're not shoving him aside because he's become an inconvenience."

   "Why not? That's essentially what we did to Gabriel in the first days. In case you haven't forgotten she needs our support now, and deserves it far more than Lucifer does." Raphael's annoyance starts to show through. It always bothered him that they didn't try harder to include their messageless messenger and instead just asked their father for something to keep her occupied. They certainly got it.

   "What can I possibly do for her, Raphael?" The frustration in Michael's voice is palpable. "I break everything I touch and I can't guarantee that there won't be problems with her husband and his brother. She needs a healer, not a weapon. But Gabriel wants Lucifer reformed as much as I do, so this is what I'll be putting my attention to. I understand your priorities, but I don't have your skills. I have to work with my own."

     "I'm hardly surprised." Raphael says curtly. "Lucifer is first and foremost as always, for good or ill. He'll never be anything else. I don't think either of you know how to let him be."

     "Raph..." but his brother has already disappeared. Michael just sighs and takes the honey and spoon back to the table. Gabriel should never have started this, but she did. She should have been more careful, but she wasn't. It's understandable, given the state she was in after all those Mondays. The strain on her nearly nonexistent grace alone was enough to cause problems. He should have insisted that she go straight to heaven. But he didn't. And she didn't, and these are the choices before him now. Free will only guarantees the right to choose, not to have decent options to choose from. 

   

 

           "What do you think?" Lucifer peels an orange over the sink. "Will Gabriel return today or will she need a day or two to sulk? You know she really shouldnt play tricks if she can't take a few turned back her way. " Michael ignores him and continues writing in his book, "What are you doing? Battle plans, training manuevers?"

           "No." He replies, absorbed in his task. "And she's on her way in the car with Raphael."

            "Driving? Why?" Lucifer just does not understand this fascintion with cars. Why use them when they could just almost instantly appear anywhere. Its better than walking but only that.

            "They're probably talking." Michael closes the book and sends it away before Lucifer can get a glimpse of it's contents. 

            "She does know he was in on it, doesnt she? Or is he forgiven because he wasnt the one engaged in a passionate embrace." Lucifer reaches over and draws his hand down Michael's cheek, smacking him a kiss when his brother sends an intense but irritated look his way. He quickly turns his attention back to separating the orange, and sits down backwards in the nearby chair.

          "You should consider this another obstacle course and never mention it again. I'm greatly regretting agreeing to that and don't know why I did."

           "Besides the chance to hold me tenderly in your arms in an attitude of postcoital bliss? You know damn well we needed a decisive victory or that prank war was never truly going to end. She'll think again before starting another one and we can both agree thats worth any price. I dont know why you're complaining. I'm the one who got bitten."

           "You're also the one who said it had to be done."

           "What I asked for was a love bite. Which was something completely different."

          "We are not discussing which way way you prefer to be bitten during intimacy and you need more than an orange for lunch." Michael feels his cheeks grow oddly warmer. 

          "I prefer to be the one doing the biting but it wouldn't have left a mark on you and visible evidence was the entire point. And I was going to have bread and honey...." Lucifer look to the empty jar on the table, finally,  thankfully changing the subject. "This is getting ridiculous, Mitcha. I'm starting to think you have a problem."

           She gives him a mock penetrative glare with a half pout he will forever deny finding adorable. So much Lucifer on such a human face. Michael just keeps his face blank and looks steadily at him in return until his brother pretends to grow bored and turns his attention back to removing the pith from the orange, despite the fact that its perfectly edible. He's not going to prepare the brat something. If he cant eat a proper meal on his own, he can just get hungry again.

          "How long is all this nonsense going to last?" Luicfer demands as he a starts peeling apart the individual segments now.

          "Which nonsense?"

          "This." He waves to the two of them. Its still not quite specific enough. "You, me, the children. Playing house. Playing human. This aimless purposeless nonsense. You can't expect me to believe that none of you have anything better to do. Who's running heaven if all of you are here playing hookey with me. "

        "Castiel. It's going, not smoothly but in the right direction. And we all have other things that require our attention." While not neccessarily better, or more urgent, they are certainly less frustrating than this. But Michael knows that would be unhelpful to add. Lucifer is silent for a troubling amount of time, picking the individual tiny peices from each orange segment with his teeth, clearly just being absurdly irritating for the sake of being absurdly irritating.

         "Castiel." He finally speaks before Michael can give into the urge to just shove the orange into his mouth. "Castiel is on the throne of heaven."

          "Not exactly. He takes more of an informal consulting role, but his advisory role is generally treated as the highest authority. Heaven is largely a sort of democratic republic now. The throne room is used only for ceremonial purposes."

         "Castiel," Lucifer smiles thinly wrinkling his nose "Such a large responsibility for such a little broken seraph." Michael refrains from reminding him that Castiel is an archangel now, if a very small, young one.

          In truth he doesnt much like to think of it himself. Whether it was truly their father's intent, or the unforseen result of an archangel inhabiting another angel, it's irritating to see him augmented by the barest remnants of Lucifer's grace.  And while his brother was deservedly stripped of his mantles, to see that an almost equally disobedient, rebellious incomprehensible creature had taken them up in his stead is grating to say the least.

         "He bears it well." Michael forces himself to admit. 

         "And you're content to leave heaven in this infants hands. Our home." Lucifer demands. But thats the crux of the matter isn't it.

          "Heaven has not been my 'home' in a very long time, Brother." Michael says softly, unwilling to look at him. Before Lucifer can respond, they hear the car enter the drive way. 

          "I'm not apologizing no matter how angry she is, and neither should you." Lucifer says firmly, as if he really thinks that Michael would. 

          "I never intended to." Michael looks to the door. It opens revealing an oddly dressed Raphael and Gabriel each holding a bag of clothing.

        "Raphael, why are you wearing Gabriel's old clothes?" Lucifer snaps, his eyes staunchly refusing to acknowledge Gabriel's plaid shirt and obscenely familiar leather jacket. All ridiculously oversized.

         "Michael." Gabrie walks up to him, handing him the bag. "Wear these and come with us and we will never speak of last night ever again." Michael raises an eyebrow but takes the bag. "And Luci, your moose costume," She takes the bag from Raphael and hands it over.

          "My what?"

          "I have a task to complete and decided that you two will accompany us."

         "What is it?"

         "I have to deliver a message. Do you remember that prophet? Chuck Shurley? He wrote the Winchester gospels, more commonly known as the supernatural book series. They're having a convention this weekend. The biggest one yet. Now, his estate had specifically forbidden more of them, but there was this lawsuit from the publisher. Anyways. Along with this message we are going to trash the fuck out of this convention."

          "Really?" Michael lifts the trench coat out of the bag, clearly not refferring to the sabotage.

         "Raphael refused, I drown in it and Luci's already been." 

         "What are you talking about?" Lucifer frowns and sees an old not quite eliminated bloodstain. "Are these their actual clothes?" 

         "Yup." Gabriel pops the p and smirks.

         "Do they know you have them?" Michael frowns, instantly regretting the thoughtless question.

          "Oh hells no," she laughs. "So are you in?"

          "I want to be Gabriel, instead," Lucifer frowns at the large shirts.

          "You're too tall," Raphael replies.

          "You're too black."

          "Helloooo, trickster." Raphael puts  his hands in his pockets, striking a familiar jaunty pose with an even more familiar smirk, "Ever heard of Anansi?"

          "That's actually pretty good." Michael admits, unable to keep from giving a laughing smiling when Raphael waggles his eyebrows.

          "I'm actually not Anansi. He's much older than Loki and I cant even go near him after that thing in Australia. It's like he just knows." Gabriel shudders. "And you have to be either Sam or Castiel, Luce. I barely manage to get these to stay on."

         "Fine but if you two even think about doing the eye thing, you will be getting stabbed again." Lucifer points to them and does the oddly bashful act of going into her room to change.

        "What eye thing?" Michael frowns.

        "Oh, that was before they got together. It was unbearable, just USTing all over the place." Gabriel shakes her head and takes out the amulet. "Poor Luci got stuck right in the middle of it." He snickers.

           "USTing?" 

          "Don't worry about it."  Raphael shakes his head. "We'll ship wincest instead."

          "Ship?"

           "Oh no we fucking aren't!"

           "Are you okay with being Castiel?" In response Michael just tilts his head with a quizzical squinty eyed look. Gabriel cracks up at the sight. "Perfect."

 

 

           "Stop tightening your tie." Gabriel sighs reaching up to loosen Michael's tie as they wait to get into the wing. "And leave your hair like I had it. This is before he got domesticated," She reaches up and messes his hair.

           "Buttons." Lucifer comments, ever having the eye for detail. Michael shoots him a look. 

            "Right." Gabriel undoes the top few buttons. "There you go. Alright. A little Jedi mind trick, Raph?" She asks as the group in front finally finds and displays their tickets. The bored looking usher holds out his hand for theirs,

            "These are not the angels you are looking for." Raphael waves his hand in the air.

             "Sorry, ma'am. I didnt recognize you." The man apologizes. "Here are you complementary VIP packets." He takes four large sealed envelopes out from under the podium and hands them to Raphael.

             "Thanks." Raphael takes them and bops Gabriel on the head with them. "This way, kiddo."

             "He's really getting into this, isnt he?" Lucifer frowns.

            "Dude, wait up." Gabriel pushes through the crowd after him, dissapearing in the throng. Michael sighs and smooths out his hair again, slowly making his way through the press of cosplayers. Lucifer just trails along behind him.

           "This is ridiculous. Why are we doing this?" He complains.

            "To prevent further such atrocities from reoccurring in the future." Michael examines the fire exits. "Is there anything you want to see before we start?" 

             "Gabriel has to deliver his message first. And I'm lost in a sea of denim and plaid."

               "Son of a bitch, he disappeared." Gabriel walks back with a remarkably good bowlegged swagger for having a prosthetic leg.

              "Stop it. Right now," Lucifer is not amused.

             "What? I think I'm adorable,"

             "I will wash your mouth out with soap, young lady."

             "Awes...."

             "Don't test me." But its only a breifly pleading look from Michael that makes Gabreil relent.

            "I dont see my target anywhere. C'mon, Raph. We need the program." She looks around.

            "Who are we looking for?"

            "Rebecca Rosen, she's doing the about the author panel. They've altered the layout from when it was posted online.  Michael can you please make him came back."

             "No. We just have to put some candy on the porch and leave the door unlocked and hope for the best." He pats her head.

             "Fine. Let's just look around and hope I don't miss her." 

             "Who is she and why is she so important she's receiving a message from you?" Lucifer pulls his arms in to avoid touching all the offensively plaid and trenchcoated attendees.

            "Well, it isnt the sexiest angel in the garrison." Another female Dean cosplayer gives Michael a freindly smile. "Hi, I'm Shayna."

             "Michael." He nods. "My siblings, Bree and Lucy." He introduces them.

             "Oh? With that dirty look she's giving me, you'd think she was your girlfreind," Shayna flips back her hair.

             "We're Sastiel shippers." Gabriel teases.

           "Excuse me?" Lucifer indignantly exclaims. "We most certainly are not."

           "Your first convention?" Shayna ignores the girls.

           "Yes."

           "My second." Gabriel interjects.

           "Oh, how nice." Shayna politley dismisses her. "So, how long have you been a supernatural fan, Michael?"

         "I'm just here for family obligations. Speaking of which, do you happen to know where the About the Author panel is? Bree has to meet someone there." Michael ignores his siblings various expressions, Gabriel's mocking of Shayna's excessively flirtatious poses in particular.

           "Of course, its so popular it was moved to the main hall. Across from the memorial. Do you have your passes? The memorials open to everyone but you need at least a silver for the panel."

          "Our other sister does. We got separated in the crowd." Michael looks out again over the sea of people. "It's likely she'll be there."

         "Well, come with me, gorgeous." Shayna hooks her arm around Michael's and leads him off down the halls, Gabriel and Lucifer trail behind.

          "Why is he just allowing her to direct him that way?" Lucifer glares at the bleached blonde.

           "Maybe he's interested in exploring a more submissive lifestyle." Gabriel teases. This just earns her a deadly glare. "What should he do? Shove her across the hall? She's helping us. Where the hell is Raphael? He just disappeared without a word to anyone. "

           "I'm not sure, but he's clearly gone full method." Gabriel decides to ignore the dig for the sake of one last hurrah. Then changes her mind.

           "Don't be bitchy just because some girls got the hots for your man."

           "Excuse me?" Lucifer stops walking.

           "What, you thought your little stunt was going to stop the jokes? You do not understand me at all." Gabriel smirks.

           "Keep up girls." Shayna waves.  

           "Well, at least you're not off sulking somewhere as I assumed you would be,"

          "I have more important concerns than my two most elder siblings intense twisted and passionate love for each other.  Such as spending one last day with all of them before I'm off to war." she says this last part flippantly but even with all the ridiculous oversized layers, Lucifer can see the tension between her shoulders.

         "War?" He asks softly, placing a hand gently between her shoulder blades.

         "Well, not war. A task. Something unexpected has come up and I have to leave. I managed to negociate one more day, but unfortunately I'll have to be absent for quite some time. I didnt want to just dissapear without a word again."

          "I see. And I dont suppose you can tell me anything about this mysterious task." Lucifer prods, keeping his voice mild and concerned.

          "No."

         "Do you know when you'll be back?"

          "No, If all goes well, I wont be able to return for close to a year." She tighten her lips.

           "And if things don't go well?" 

          "Then I dont know, However long it takes to extract me from the abyss, if I'm not forced to serve my time instead. I'll be in touch, but I won't be able to come back in person for the duration. You'll have Michael with you, and Raphael for the most part."

           "Thats hardly comforting. Why do you have to do whatever it is you're doing? What makes you so special that it can only be you? What's so very important that it takes you away from our family, to leave us behind all over again after just weeks of being reunited?" Lucifer demands, much to his surprise Gabriel appears to give it thought.

           "Well in this case its my own 'special' flaws and shortcomings, and unique physical properties means it has to be me and me alone.

             "What if you refuse? You're a fan of free will. Say no, let someone else do it. I can only assume the winchesters are around and still meddling in the universe given this new crisis. One of them probably caused it. Let them bear the burden." For some reason Lucifer does not quite understand, this elicits such intense laughter from his sister that draws the attention of everyone around them. "Why is that funny?"

        "It just is."Gabriel shakes her head and stops, looking to the side, "Oh, sidefinally, where did you run off to?" Lucifer follows her gaze to see Raphael making his way through the crowd, far less gently than Michael.

          "The two of you need to eat." He hands Gabriel a bag. "Don't share it,"

          "I thought you said the two of us need to eat." Lucifer snaps, the smells from the bag making his stomach growl.

           "I did, didn't I?" He takes his brothers hand and places a ripe quince in it. "Enjoy."Unfortunately he's gone before Lucifer can throw it at him.

          "Alright, what's going on with Raphael."

          "I dont know but he left us our passes," Gabriel takes the envelopes out of the bag, and hands one to each sibling. "Alright, neither of you have to come in with me." with a clear thought of 'don't come' to Michael. "It's not exactly a dangerous task."

          "We'll go find Raphael," Michael informs her.

          "No 'we' won't." Lucifer starts after Gabriel, but Michael grabs her arm. "Really? You're going to manhandle  helpess little me in a room full of Winchester wannabes?"

          "As opposed to leaving you alone with our sister again? Yes. We're finding Raphael."

          "Let go of me," He says loudly. Several pairs of cosplayers stop what they're doing and look their way, including a security guard. Michael lets go. Lucifer gives a small smirk and continues after Gabriel.

          "Sweet kid," Shayna comments. "Would you like me to show you around the convention?"

          "No, I have to stay with Lucy. Thank you for your assistance." Michael extracts his own arm and follows.

     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angels are never going to discuss this among themselves but i will address it. Michael and Raphael absolutely did not care if removing Gabriels grace that early on in the pregnancy left the fetus regularly mortal and vulnerable and her subsequent behavior induced a miscarriage. Her grace is the only thing that would make them consider the child hers and while callous, so many more potential children miscarry in the womb the first trimester, its not worth consideration. Cold yes, but lets face it, they have more important matters to concern themselves with than an unplanned unwanted non person. They've only just reconciled to caring about fully formed ensouled human beings themselves as more than just their fathers orders.


	18. Breaking Convention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel attempts to torture Sam's ex wife, but it backfires.
> 
> Raphael is not handling the change of circumstances in a healthy manner.
> 
> Lucifer gets his memory jogged and feelings taken in new directions, poor bastard.
> 
> There's a fire, none of them caused it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Lucifer isn't the only one noticing that Raphael was getting a bit too into the cosplaying.
> 
> I do not support Gabriel's actions, she's being a bitch. I am however not okay with what Becky did in 'its time for a wedding' and totally understand why Gabriel's would hold a grudge when she found out.

           Gabriel makes her way up to the stage. Ms. Rosen is talking quietly to one of the other organizers. She doesnt look happy, but she wont be any happier once she hears the news.

          "Why Becky Rosen, just the girl I was looking for." She hops up on the table. The former Mrs. Winchester stiffens and turns back to look at her.

         "Mrs. Singer." she forces a smile, remembering the official identity. It's probably easier than having to call someone else Mrs. Winchester. "What a surprise. I... didn't expect to see you again."

         "Well, I was in town and saw this and thought I'd drop in on my favorite fanfiction writer. So hows tricks?" Gabriel smiles sweetly. Becky looks warily at her and bites her lip.

         "They're.... they're going fairly well, and yourself?"

         "Fair."

         "So, um, what brings you here exactly? I assume there's a reason."

         "Tidings of great joy. My darling husband and I are expecting. We're not sure what yet." Gabriel pats her stomach.

         "As in boy or girl, or..." Becky lets the question trail off as the uninitiated are present. She's not entirely too bad as far as kidnapping, drugging almost-rapists go.

        " We're going to be surprised. But, I know you keep a breast of the community and you've been a big help to some of our students, so I wanted to let you know. It's incredibly likely that this is going to kill me, and I'll be leaving behind a grieving husband and motherless child for an unknown length of time. If that should happen, I want you my dear Becky Rosen," Gabriel takes the nervous woman's hands, holding them to her chest, "To continue to stay as far from them both as humanly possible. I have brothers and will make my dying wish for them to hunt you down if you don't."

      "I see." Becky takes backs her hands and forces a smile onto her face. " Well, congratulations to you both and I wish you the best," she takes a breath. Gabriel waits for the jab about her impending death. who could resist it? "I really don't think you have to worry. You're a Winchester now. Part of the family. Even if you do die, they'll pull you back without hesitation."

       "Right." Gabriel feels a sudden weight in the pit of her stomach at the kind words.

       "Do you need passes for the convention?" The weight gets heavier.

       "Um, no, We're good."

       " Here. The staff has a private break room. My cousin needed to rest and use the bathroom alot so if you find yourself needing it. I dont know how pregnancy works for you." She fishes a card out of her purse and puts it into Gabriel's shirt pocket.

        "Thank you." 

        "Ms. Rosen. It's time to start." One of the staff taps her shoulder, giving Gabriel an odd disapproving look.

        "Alright, um, if you'd like to stay, feel free to take a seat." Becky motions to one of the chairs behind her.

        "No, I have to go find my brother." Gabriel hops down from the table.

        "Alright. You just take care of junior, okay?" Becky forces her smile even wider. "I wish you both all the happiness in the world. I really do." And she really seems to mean it despite her obvious pain. Gabriel, now feeling like an utter dick, just leaves the room.

 

        "Your pass?" A large man with a security badge demands as Lucifer tries to enter the panel. But the envelope with it is miraculously gone from her pocket. Michael. "No pass, no entry. But to be honest you'll get as much from the memorial and quicker." he nods to the room across the hall. Lucifer looks back, and frowns at the large room. There's an eisle with a picture on it, towards the back. Even at this distance it strikes a familiar chord.

        There are alot of people placing small battery operated tealights all around, along with various letters and well worn copies of the paperbacks. There are even a few printed off on letter sheets. Feathers, amulets, flowers mostly lilies, model cars, rosaries. There's a small biographical pamplet near the entrance. Basic information. Name, date of birth, yada yada, he was reported missing in 2010 and no trace of his where abouts had been found for nine years. He was legally declared dead two years ago. No known surviving relations. Executor of his estate, former girlfreind Rebecca Rosen.

        He brushes past the pilgrims, up to the memorial photograph. There's an old worn guitar and a set of small trophies on opposing sides of it. Lucifer picks one of them up to examine it. God of Karaoke, Louix's Fifth, Souix Falls South Dakota. The dates are scratched off, but there are about six of them. Golden microphones.

            A security guard behind the table pointedly clears his throat. Lucifer puts the trophy back, 'accidentally' knocking one off the back of the table in the process. The guard looks annoyed, but only gets a faux innocent shrug in return. When the man bends to pick it up, Lucifer turns his attention to the photograph on display.

        A flash of memory.

The darkness peircing the light.

"I wasn't supposed to have favorites, but you were mine."

Lucifer charges forwards spear in hand, a desperate attempt to strike down the darkness before she can extinguish the light. She stretches out her hand and effortlessly throws him back, then pulls, tearing him from his vessel.

Time stops as he's shredded in her grasp. The pain rips through his skull. a last thought, at least he wont have to watch his father die. But the face he sees is Michael's.

The fires of creation burning in the dark, wings of white hot flame, peircing eyes, peering over his father's arm. Not as perfect, not as bright, but beautiful in spite of, if not because of it.

He raises his hand clear and sparkling in his fathers pure light until it catches Michael's. It breaks and glows, magnifying his siblings presence until it fills him, warms him.

Michele

No. Michael.

Misha

Kuh, Me ka el Michael

Mitcha

A laughing smile, Mitcha's smile, Mitcha's arms,

"This is your brother. Keep him safe."

"Yes, father."

"Love him as I do. Our shining one, son of the morning."

Their light shattered broken into peices.

Michael dying slowly in the cage, curled around the mortal form, holding it tightly, protecting it from the fires and the pain, singing broken songs to comfort the soul locked and suffering within.

Oh shining one

He tears at the form desperately trying to destroy the parasite sapping his brothers strength. He knows he only makes it worse but it has no right. Michael belongs to him. No one else is allowed to douse those flame. 

I hate(love)you

Just die (live) 

Wont you die (live)

Son of the Morning

A wrong turn a wrenching wing as he stops short, turning too close to heaven's gate, too quickly.

"oh, Helel, You never listen," an exasperated tone

"Mitcha," a pained cry, raised arms, warmed again in his embrace

The brightest star in the heavens, shining upon them.

"It was placed there just for you, my Helel Ben Sahar." Princes of heaven, standing on the mountain top, enfolded in bright white wings, staring at the early morning sky. "Light bringer, conquering the darkness with your smile. Be strong."

His frozen wings melt, the ache within him soothes. With Michael behind him, how can he be anything but strong enough.

Living songs condensed into fire and ice, then twisted into matching forms, Daughter and son. First daughter, first son. Dark hair, pink lips. Caged heat boiling the torrential waters sealed within.

A kiss

A claim

Michael belongs to him

 

           Lucifer opens his eyes, startled and tense.

          "I have you. It's alright." Michael attempts to soothe him, but his brother upon finding himself cradled in Michael's arms, shoves himself away, his cheeks turning bright red. "Nobody saw." he reassures him, but lucifer just looks around. There's a security guard up the steps, bending to pick up a dropped, now broken trophy, frozen in place. The surrounding attendees are as well. "Let's go find Raphael." Michael says softly, reaching out his hand as he rises to his feet.

        "No," His brother shakes his head, not looking at him. "I'm done. I'm not staying here." Lucifer gets to his feet, stripping off the jacket and plaid overshirt. Michael restarts time, and picks up the discarded clothing, following his agitated sibling, who just barrels through anyone in his way, not stopping until they're well outside the hotel.

          "Everything is alright." Michael puts a hand on his shoulder.

           "Don't..."he moves away. "What would you know? You're not the one with a broken defective body."

           "That body looks pretty damm good to me," a passing man remarks, his buddy giving a whistle. Without hesitation, Lucifer grabs the collar of the idiot's shirt and takes the knife from the man's belt.

        "Why is it you people always insist on inserting yourselves into our affairs?" Lucifer asks sweetly and presses the blunted tip to the man's jugular. "Does this look like an open forum? Did I somehow seem receptive to your advances at that moment? Please tell me, I'd hate to have to kill a man in the middle of a conversation again in the future." the soft gentle tone of her melodious voice and empty smile leave the stranger both terrified and aroused.

         "That's not a real knife." the whistler comments, though with not a little nervousness behind the bravado.

          "That just means I'll have to press harder." There's no sharpened blade but it is metal. Not high quality metal, but harder than the man's skin. though in truth enough pressure will do the trick just the same. Michael reaches over and removes the prop from her hand, breaking it in the process.

        "You psycho b..."the embarrassed man's sputtering is interrupted.

        "I'd go on your way." Michael says darkly. They do. Michael can't help but notice a few women around them silently applauding. 

        "You're no fun," Lucifer comments.

        "I waited until he wet himself didn't I?" He throws the partially crushed knife in the trash. His brother can't help but laugh. "You should eat."

        "There's nothing worth eating in there. I can wait until we return home."

        "You've only eaten an orange and some salad. We'll go find a store." Michael takes his phone out. "Gabriel. I'm taking Lucy to get some suitable food. We'll return shortly... let us know when you do."

       "So is she joining us or searching for our wayward one."

        "Searching for Raphael. She's also changed her mind about clutching out the convention."

        "So no sprinklers smoke bombs or fake bomb threats." Lucifer comments, not particularly perturbed by it.

        "It seems not."

        "Its just a well, we probably shouldn't desecrate his memorial." Lucifer says softly. Michael frowns. Why would his brother care about a  humans memorial, much less a prophets. He hates prophets, second only to demons. But Lucifer gives no further comment and just keeps walking.

 

       "Raphael?"Gabriel calls, standing up on a bench to look around the crowded halls. "How did those books get so many damn fans?" she finally spots him across the hall, looking at a religious jewelry vendor, taking a sip out of a flask as the proprietor wraps up several items. "Hey!" she shouts, then whistles as sharply as she can. He looks over at her as she frantically waves at him,as do many other convention goers,  and makes his way over.

        "Demolition time?" He lifts her down. 

        "No, I've changed my mind. I feel like an absolute dick so we're going to leave it in one peice." Gabriel stretches. "Thanks for the burger, by the way. And speaking of consumptives, what are you drinking?

        "A special mix, to celebrate the occasion. Angels and specially trained shamans only. Definitely not for pregnant women." Since he's already caught, Raphael just takes another drink. 

      "Are you alright?" 

      "Not even slightly."

      "Raph, talk to me," she leads him off to the side between two unmanned carts. 

      "About what? Your impending trip to the abyss or the fact that we have no chance with Lucifer without you there." So its Raphael's usual nihilistic world view, except he can't pretend not to care anymore.

      "Okay, first, my death is not a given, just incredibly likely. And secondly, you dont think we have a chance even with me there." Gabriel punches his arm to no effect but a sore fist.

       "No. I know, but I don't think Michael is strong enough for this. He'll get to him. He will. He always does. I can keep him going, but you're the one who ever really made us really laugh."

      "Well, Luci's the one who made him truly smile. Do you think she's going to turn him against humanity? I don't. He's become too fond of some of them to ever dismiss them wholesale.

        "No, I don't but I think he'll hurt him trying. Look at how her courtship of you turned out." Raphel takes another drink, almost falling against the wall. Gabriel decides to ignore the statement. 

        "Easy there. What is that stuff and why did I never know about it?" Gabriel grabs the flask and takes a sniff, minty and eye watering. "Damn, Raph that could strip paint."

        "This is going to end in blood and tears. Why did you ever decide to try this stupid thing? Why?" he's getting a little loud. Fortunately people dont spare much of a glance to two women arguing in a foreign language in the corner. "Weren't we enough for you? Why would you need to try and bring back the bastard that murdered you? He murdered you Gabriel. You torment that little human girl for things not half as bad as what he's done. What the fuck were you thinking?"

        "I just kept dreaming." Gabriel says quietly.

        "What?"

         "When I was human, I just kept dreaming. Not even dreams really, memories. I was stuck living my life over and over again, every second I was in the coma. I dont know how many times and sometimes I was watching, knowing every mistake unable to stop it from happening. I couldn't push it aside. Even just when I slept the memories would come. Not even being trapped in the abyss helped. When Sam took me out and I got my grace back, I still couldn't stop the memories from returning. I had to go whisper them into his crysalis to get any peace at all."

        Raphael is silent for so long, Gabriel briefly wonders if he didn't pass out standing up, or if that mix can even do that to an angel. 

          "Did you consider maybe that it was him reaching out?" Raphael has to ask as if she were a complete idiot.

        "Of course I did, but I doubt I would have remembered literally everything if it was. Not my death, the spiders, or standing in a pit of hellfire protecting Rufus, Meekus and Brint. "

        "Who?" Raphael has apparently never seen that movie. Gabriel will have to fix that very shortly.

        "Never mind." Gabriel waves the question away. "Anyways when I found out humanity had learned how to take the darkness from a tortured human soul, curing a demon, I had to try. If you could take the darkness away, then maybe he could be saved. Our siblings are coming back. Even those that fell, those that went with him, the lost, the infants, why not him? Dad created forgiveness for him after all. You know he did." She gives Raphael a sharp look before he can argue.

        "You need regret first, and he doesn't. This is all just building him back up so he can take us all down again. And once again, you're the first casualty." Raphael motions to her stomach.

        "Okay, they way you keep saying that seriously sounds like you're implying Lucifer knocked me up, and that's just disturbing so stop. It was not his fault I screwed up.  C'mon, why don't we just go home and you can wait this off in the garden staring at bees or something." Gabriel takes hold of his arm. As she does so, the fire alarms go off.

        "Forgot to tell Luci about the change in plans huh?" Raphael smirks.

        "No, they know, they're not even here. Michael took Lucifer to the store for something he'd be willing to eat. I swear, not even Sam's not that friggin fussy about food."

        "If you stopped catering to him..." Raphael starts.

        "He'd starve. He's not a cat, he is that stubbornly strong willed and you know it."

        "ATTENTION EVERYONE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" some staff member shouts, "There IS a fire on the first floor! Everyone is to proceed to the stairwells in an orderly fashion and evacuate the hotel. Do not use the elevators. I repeat, do NOT use the elevators."

        "Well, isn't that fantastic." Gabriel frowns, as everybody immediately starts shoving and fleeing in a panicked and disorderly fashion. "Let's get everyone out of here. Where's closest to the fire?" She take out the hotel map. Raphael blips out and back in within seconds, completely unnoticed.

         "Back here." he points to the main stage.

         "Of course." Gabriel rips the map in half. "You take this half, I'll get this one."  
  


 

        "It don't think Buccaneers Bounty is actually healthier than factory farmed eggs and non organic vegetables." Michael frowns as they exit the corner store.

        "I'm not filling my body with cocktails of noxious chemicals. Those things cause cancer at the very least."

        "They do wash them first. And starving of malnutrition is hardly an improvement." Michael pushes the chef salad at him.

        "One of the few things I have control over is what goes into this body, Michael. Or do you have to take charge of that as well?" Luci snaps.  
  


        "I'm just saying your body is perfectly well equipped to filter out the miniscule amount of toxins present, but it can't manufacture it's own nutrients."

        "Another serious flaw in the design. Why couldn't humans use photosynthesis instead of this messy imprecise process?"  
  


         "If you're asking to understand anything about humanity, you're addressing the wrong angel." Michael ushers his brother across the street before the light turns. Lucifer just pops the kernelless corn snacks into his mouth.

          "And reproduction is itself absolutely ridiculous. Did they have to be mammals? Seeds and spores and such are so much more practical. For that matter, Bark beats skin hands down."

         "Are you seriously suggesting humanity should have been created as a type of tree?"  Lucifer finds the incredulous look Michael gives him incredibly amusing.

         "Depends on how you define serious. And not a tree per say, a shrubbery maybe. Though I think they would have made fairly good ornamental bonsai. So much easier to shape and mold." Lucifer smiles as Michael lets a laugh escape at the absurdity. "Of course they'd be even more flammable then." he comments at a fire engine racing past. "They keep setting things of fire or making them explode. I don't understand them at all."

          "You created an entire realm of eternal flame. I don't see where you have room to judge them on that score."

          "I can't make a tribute to my dearest sibling? I'd have thought you'd be pleased that all sinners would feel the same pain you once inflicted on me for mine."

          "Not all sins are equal to yours. And no one's pain has ever pleased me." Michael tightens his lips, looking a head at the crowds congregating outside the hotel and the fire trucks positioned at one side. "That's the hotel with the convention." Michael gives a frown of concentration, as if listening to something. "Lucifer, go to the fourth window on the North side of the building." He commands and vanishes, oddly forgetting that Lucifer no longer has his grace and wouldn't be inclined to obey him if he did. Lucifer just raises and eyebrow at this and continues eating his bounty.  He doesn't see Gabriel anywhere in the crowd. or Raphael.  
  


           "Don't tell me that idiot girl is trying to play hero." He mutters. dropping the popcorn, and runs to the fourth window on the north side of the building. The window on the second floor up is smashed as she approaches, smoke pouring out the top as he approaches.

           "Finally!" Gabriel complains and picks up a child. "Get over here and take them." She takes the girl by the hands and lowers her down as far as she can. "Brother!"

          "You know, it's not that great of a fall, she'll probably survive it."

          "Take the damn child before I throw her at you, you brat!"

          "There's no need to take that tone with me, young lady." Lucifer reaches up so he can catch hold of the girls waist when Gabriel lets go. "Well? If you're not going to trust me enough to actually let go, why am I even here?" He snaps at her hesitation. Gabriel lets go. As soon as this one is safe on the ground, there's another one and another and another. "What is this family? Catholic?"

           "It's a daycare you ass. The stairwell is on fire, and half the hall as well. It's like they made this place out of crepe paper and gasoline. Raphael and Michael are clearing the upper floors and conference halls."

           "You know, if they die now, they go straight to heaven. We both know you don't have that luxury."

           "I'm not leaving this room until every child is out."

           "Where are the care takers? I assume they weren't just penned in a cage."

           "They were getting the infants when a wall caught fire. They got out. Is that it? Where's bear shirt boy?" She looks around the group on the ground. "Fuck." Gabriel retreats back into the room.

           "This is not my idea of a good time, Gabriel." Lucifer shouts up to the window as some firemen and emergency workers finally show up. "It's about time. Will you get my sister out of there? She has no concept of her own mortality."

            "I got him." Gabriel coughs and hands the child to the fireman on the ladder. "A little help? I lost my leg."

            "You're an idiot. Were you going to die for these creatures? What about that big task you have? Do you ever think about anyone but yourself and you damn human fetish?" Gabriel just flips him off as she's currently coughing to much to speak. Hopefully Michael will say something about this. Though why Raphael didn't make sure she got out first, he doesn't know. "Are you alright?"

            "I'll be fine." Gabriel can finally speak. "Thank you, and guess what?  You helped save all these small children. You're a hero."

            "Oh, fuck you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being on the wrong end of street harrassment, I always wondered what would happen if one of those assholes hit on the wrong person. You can't get wronger than lucifer. Very cathartic.
> 
> I do know Shadrach Meshack and Abednigo's names. That was Gabriel making a Zoolander joke.
> 
>  
> 
> Please comment, nervous insecure author deperate for tips and feedback.


	19. Wednesday Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay we're good now,
> 
> Michael's Wednesday afternoon therapy session with Alex.
> 
> More information on the infamous obstacle course.

         Alex places the cup of honey sticks on the coffee table, glancing over to Michael as she does so. He's very still, almost a statue. That's never a good sign. She'll probably need more honey. 

       "So Bree gave me the news, with all its particulars," She sits down. Michael gives a breif nod, "Would you like to talk about it?"

      "There's nothing to be said. It is what it is."

      "That hardly means you don't have anything to say. This is a safe space remember, you can say and think and feel what you want with little to no judgement."

     "I'm not as selfish as Lucifer. I understand the situation and can accept things as they are. My feelings are not important." He still hasn't sat down.

     "They are though, because they're your feelings. You're allowed to have them and express them. Especially here, especially if you feel you can't or shouldn't anywhere else." She reminds him gently. "You at least have some opinions." 

     "Angels were never meant to be parents. The whole nephilim issue itself proves that."

     "I don't know about that. I've met several angel and human parents of nephilim, both alive with fairly well rounded children. They were very difficult births, but technology has improved a great deal. So long as she has access to it, I'm sure she'll be fine."

     "She's very small, and Nephilim tend to be very large. The pregnancies are difficult as well."

    "Things have changed. A cesarean is fairly routine and safe. Child birth isn't nearly as hazardous as any of you are remembering. Not here. Plus Castiel and Raphael are going to be with her and can catch and fix any minor problems before they become big problems. I have every confidence that Bree will be just fine. The largest problem as I see it what it means in regards to the whole Lucifer situation. I know he's your brother, but I agree that he shouldnt be anywhere near a pregnant Bree."

       "No, that's a fairly safe assessment. I'm not willing to bet Gabriel's safety on Lucifer's affection for her should he find out about this. He has killed her once before and has very strong feelings on the subject of Nephilim." Michael starts to pace, a good sign actually. Hopefully he'll keep talking instead of forcing himself to silence again. "I can handle Lucifer. They don't think I can. Of course, Raphael doesn't think anyone can. Gabriel thinks I'll loose my temper and hurt him...." his voice trails off at this last one. 

q

        "What do you think?" She prods. One of the many issues they've discussed lately is the long arching tendancy for conflicts between him and Lucifer to turn physical and the gradual breaking down of his control over his temper. In truth, this whole affair has been either dragging Michael backwards or just revealing well hidden wounds.

        "I think that I just have to try harder not to."

        "You're not trying your hardest already?"

       "Of course I am, it's just not enough. If he wants to make me angry, he makes me angry. If he wants me to smile...." Michael stops talking and just looks at his hands, loosely clenching and unclenching them into fists. "I don't know which is worse."

        "Which is worse? You mean anger or smiles?" Alex clarifies.

        "After everything he's done, he shouldn't be able to make me happy." Michael shakes his head, though from the look on his face, it's clear he considers this a fault in himself alone, "I get glimpses of him, the brother I used to know. And there are more and more of them now. But then he'll say things to shatter it all to peices and make me believe Raphael is right and all this is destined to end in blood and tears." The nihilistic desolation does sound like Raphael.

       "Do you believe that?"

       "I don't know. I don't know what I can do for any of them regardless. I'm not a healer. I'm not a messenger or teacher. All I am is a weapon without a weilder. A soldier without a war and I just break everything I touch." The emptiness in his voice is heartbreaking. She hasn't heard it in his voice since he was rescued from the cage.

        "Lucifer says this to you?" Alex asks gently, Michael just shakes his head.

        "He doesn't have to. None of them do. I know why I was made. Why he left me there. Everything in this world is just so fragile and I forget to be gentle. All I do is break things then fix what I can. I spend most of my time trying not to break things. Shouldn't it be getting easier over time not harder?"

          Generally true but there is the gradual build up of stress to contend with. But with his frustration so clear in his voice, the best thing right now, is to just give him a moment so he can get himself back together. The last time he lost control, there were several injuries from fires nearby that flared up uncontrolably until he calmed. not to mention a few accidents with gas stoves and pilot lights that fortunately didnt hurt anyone. Michael just covers his face with his hands.

          "There must be more to me than distruction." he says quietly. " If not, what good am I?"

         "What good do you want to be?" The question seems to take him by surprise. 

         "Want to be?" He says it as if no one has ever asked him what he wanted before. It's likely no one has, now she thinks of it, given how everything is crouched in shoulds and needs. At best you hear 'we want', but never just I want.

        "What good do you want to be? Or even just plain what do you want? That's something you need to know at least."

        "Why? What does it matter what I want?" 

        "Well, not knowing doesn't keep you from wanting and it doesn't keep other people from seeing it either. It can be very easy for other people to manipulate you by using what you want against you, especially if you don't realize that's what they're doing.

        "You should think about it. Write it down when something occurs to you. What you want, what you don't want. Knowing what you don't want is just as important. So is knowing why. Like I want to buy this expensive but beautiful leather bound journals with gold plate engraving. But I dont want to empty my bank account because I want to eat more than ramen and hot dogs this week." She moves her hands up and down, imitating a scale.

        "I thought Raphael was providing you with ample fresh fruits and vegetables." Michael frowns shifting his focus to the wrong thing entirely. Alex just waves his concern away.

       "Obviously not a current literal example, but you have to be aware of all those wants and dont wants or you might do things you want at the expense of what you also want or don't want but consider more important. You're essentialy fighting a war against your own impulses. You have to know all the troops and stuff you're facing to make a good battle plan, right?"

          Michael gets that twitch of a smile he does whenever she tries to use any kind of war metaphors to relate psychological concepts. He same one he gets when seeing a cat chasing a laser pointer or an infant babbling at its mother. Alex just tries not to take it too personally and offers him the cup of honey sticks. He takes one and finally sits down.

         "So, all that aside, how goes it with Lucifer?"

          "Ultimately I have no idea. We've discovered another trigger, the prophet Chuck Shurley. We have no idea why and he's not forth coming. He did help Gabriel rescue children from the daycare, but also oddly ended up demanding a reward from the prophets estate manager. Specifically the old cheap guitar from the memorial which was somehow left unscathed. Oddly he refuses to take it out of the case and just shoved it into the back of the closet. Though he won't do anything with it, he doesn't want any of us to touch it either.

       "He has thankfully become more attendant to conventions of public nudity, if only in my presence. It's so strange, he'll go from embracing aspects of his humanity like touch, taste, sound and then turn and curse the entire experience all within the sme day, sometimes the same hour. It's like watching decades pass within seconds."

          Alex has certainly had days like that.  But the last statement draws her attention to his vast age and experience and how it compares to his emotional state, how long it takes to change. It took his time in the cage to break down the walls of obedient soldier, good child, that he'd ordered his world around to keep together the peices broken inside him from Lucifer's betrayal, Gabriel and their father's abandonments and his own responses and mistakes. Even the thin desperate mantle of protector he clung to in the cage evaporated when Adam was no longer there to protect. To have all identity and meaning in your life stripped away. It's not a pleasant experience. To be stuck in that place, unable to grow or escape us even worse.

       "It may feel like that, even to him. Adolescence isnt easy for anyone. She's been stuck in it without the benefit of just the normal direct experiences of a human body. I'm not surprised if she's constantly thrown off balance by it."

       "Chaos and confusion were always  the preffered strategy of Gabriel's." Michael smiles. "I should have let her train the troops with it more, but I didn't understand its value. We hadn't fought that many battles yet. Just Amara and the leviathan. They were fairly straight forward opponnents. I never expected to wage war against my own brother."

         Alex allows Michael his silence as he turns his attention to the honey stick, and takes one of her own. In truth she finds it a little funny that Michael turned out to be an emotional eater with a sweet tooth, like Bree. All four of the archangels are so different and yet seem to have the most random things in common. Even Lucifer and Raphael are similar in ways. Mainly they both adore their sisters and loathe each other. Plus they certainly both veer towards a more cynical view of humanity. Finding similiarities between Bree and Michael seems just as odd. 

         But they were all so close at one point, how could they not be similar in ways. What must it have been like for them to have once been all there was in the world. What must it have been like for Michael to have been the only one, then to find himself alone again, trapped in the cage. That feeling must have been beyond all understanding.

        "Everything is obvious when you already know the results," Alex wrenches her thoughts back to the issue at hand.  "Hindsight is 20/20 or at least it seems so. Maybe a disastrous occurrance was actually the one with the best results.  You never know what could have been. The best decision isn't necessarily pleasant. Sometimes it's the lesser of two evils."

             "I still don't know what else I could have done, though. Small individual choices, yes, but what he did was wrong. I could never have taken his part." Michael just shakes his head, but his furrowed brow shows that he still thinks there was some other answer he just didn't have or couldn't see. Maybe there was, but that's not the point.

           "I have to be honest, you'll never find me taking a position advocating for the destruction of humanity so you know I think you were right to stand against him. But the how and why do matter, maybe those small individual choices were more important than you thought." Alex rubs the back of her neck, going back to her honey stick breifly. " Does he still want to destroy humanity? And are you still opposed to that, I suppose, are the real important questions? At least in my admittedly biased mind." 

         "Most likely he does and of course I am. But he's somewhat contained and nuetralized so we're trying a more indirect approach. He has made a freind, though, possibly and is sort of dating her brother." Michael actually scowls at this. "I'm sure it's all a big game but he does seem to genuinely enjoy their company at times. That or he's just getting better at pretending."

          "Well, sometimes you can become the mask." Alex offers hopefully. Oddly enough this just makes him look even less happy. "You don't like them?"

          "I don't think it's an appropriate relationship. I don't like him with Brett regardless of the true situation. They have no business being in any sort of relationship at all."

         "Do you think Brett's soul is in danger? His life? Do you think they'll hurt each other physically? Because it's not unreasonable to step in if that's the case."

         "I don't."

         "Well, do you think maybe its just jealousy?" She suggests. The look he gives her at this is deadly.

         "It was a prank and nothing more. I don't care what Gabriel's decided to think."

        "What?" Alex gives a bewildered frowns, clearly not having been told about the event. "No, I meant of them having a... fresh start, no bad history to... okay you're actually blushing for the first time I've ever seen so... I know you probably don't want to talk about it but I have to ask what she did to you."

        "No, it was a prank on Gabriel. Not by her." Michael rubs his eyes. "Which i am regretting more and more as time passes. Though at the moment it seemed worth it. Granted the consecrated wine may have aided in that, however relatively little I had."

        "Did it work? Did you get her?"

        "Yes." He gives a small, but still embarrassed smile. Of course thats probably why she didn't mention it. "I suppose I need to tell you a little about the obstacle course for it to really make sense. And you are not to repeat a word. Not that I'll be going into detail. But in the beginning Lucifer and I were very close. Things grew strained after he got the mark, and we started fighting, alot.

        "Apparently Gabriel decided to do something about it and when I asked her to design an obstacle course to help train combat pairs, she took it in a very odd direction. Of course Lucifer and I were the first to test it out. To get to the end we ended up bound by the arms. It was incredibly awkward and often involved us being far closer than we cared to be at the moment.

        "Apparently she took most of her inspiration from nature and composed the course out of an amalgam of courtship and mating rituals from the animal kingdom somehow. It was enough to make Lucifer want to pluck her wings and crucify her on the tree of life. I thought that was an overreaction until I found out centuries later that the ending was from a marriage ceremony she'd seen while skipping forwards in time doing messages. Its where you get the phrase tying the knot."

         "Oh dear god!" Alex claps her hands firmly over her mouth to stifle her laughter. She's usually able to refrain from blasphemy but Michael seems to consider such exortations an appropriate response to Bree's antics. She wonders a little less how Lucifer was able to find it in him to kill her.

         "Father had no comment." Michael says dryly. "Which at that time usually meant he was trying to spare our feelings by not laughing, as you are attempting right now. It's alright. I do understand the humor." He gives a wry smile. Which is good as Alex was about to die from the effort. "She was still extremely young and inexperienced and didn't really understand back then, so she was forgiven."

          "Of course. So... does this mean you and Lucifer are..." because she cant not ask.

          "Don't be absurd. Of course that wouldn't count. But she has been making jokes about us being like a divorced couple and other inappropriate suggestions. The last of which being preparing a romantic candle lit evening for the two of us after a particularly intense fight where Lucifer stabbed me in the chest with a butchers knife. Obviously it did me no harm, but combined with the prank war, we had both reached our limit with her and her jokes."

        "Understandably." Alex clears her throat and grabs a few more honey sticks to help keep herself from interrupting.

         "So we decided to get revenge along the vein of 'be careful what you wish for' and unintended consequences. And we staged an elaborate scene in the apartment to make it look as if we'd gotten drunk on the special wine she'd left and... expressed our love for each other physically." Michael looks away, arms tightly crossed. The phrasing he used more than anything makes her choke slightly on the honey. Just enough to cough a little. "We had to let Raphael in on it as it took hours to get everything so that Lucifer was satisfied. Honestly it probably would have been easier to have actually done it."  he rolls his eyes.

          "Not from what I've heard." Alex says before she can stop herself. Michael just raises an eyebrow at her. "Everybody knows about Sabbat, Michael. Dont pretend that you don't."

         "Regardless. Not even Gabriel would go quite that far for a joke. If she has I dont want to know about it." He makes himself very clear. Definitely  no more Loki stories she heard from Rhys. At the very least her family was less embarrassing. It's really no wonder Yuri wont talk to Bree, honestly. Her sons both view this entire marriage and vessel as an elaborate prank they absolutely do not want to be involved in. 

         "I really wish I had seen the look on her face." Alex confesses. 

         "Here." Michael brings up a group of photographs on his phone and hands them over. The expressions on her face are absolutely priceless.  "It seemed like a good idea at the time, but she recovered very quickly and while she wont mention the prank, the jokes have increased. For example after the fire, she and a drunken Raphael sang the Mamushka at the nearby bar that treated us to dinner. I cant say I'm not a little glad for the break, even if I do find the reason distressing."

           "Raphael got drunk?" 

           "Yes, the other day before the convention. It wasnt about the prank but about the situation with Gabriel. So when you see him tommorrow, definitely make him discuss it. Lucifer actually noticed he was off before either of us did." 

          "I gues he isnt as indifferent to his little brother as he seems."Alex gives a smile.

          "Of course not. No one can ignore somebody so precisely without being very aware of them. Thats improving, possibly. They speak to each other at least. But I dont like that I didnt see something was wrong. Nobody's closer to him than I am. I should have." Michael shakes his head. "Raphael always knows when I'm distressed. Always. And he's always been there for Gabriel, at least as much as any angel can be. Now his search for Meli has been interupted and he's torn between staying with Gabriel and me, though we've told him he doesnt have to be. I just dont know what to do for any of them."

         "Well, you're there, and thats a big thing. And you can take care of yourself, which is what you're doing." Alex prods gently.

          "Raphael wants me to return to heaven to replenish my grace." He says blankly.

          "You dont want to,"

         "Its difficult enough interacting with things as it is. I don't need more strength to hold in."

          "You're still thinking about removing it." Alex says softly. The idea keeps coming up. Ever since he decided not to return to heaven. Losing their grace seems to have have very profound effects on angels. Castiel, Bree, Metatron, all of them were gretly altered and even improved by the experience. None were voluntary though. Not the first time. Bree has always been a bit impulsive and inclined to indulge herself.

         "I am, but that would leave Raphael alone to be the sword over Lucifers head and his attention is divided now,"

        "Plus you've complained about his abuse of his abilities."

        "I have. Of course it has had an effect on Lucifer's behavior. I don't use mine on him and I won't. So I suppose the only practical difference is that the next time Lucifer drives a knife into my chest it would kill me. Granted I won't have to worry about accidentally breaking his limbs in trying to prevent him. Or breaking other things when we fight."

         "Plus you'll be able to sleep and Bree always said that nothing helped clear her head or lift her mood like sleep. I think she actually missed it the most of anything." Alex speculates. Michael gives a conceding nod.

          "She did seem fairly enthusiastic about it. I would imagine that after delivering and interpreting so many dreams, having them herself must be an especially meaningful experience."

          "I keep forgetting that Bree is... you know, the archangel Gabriel." Alex  lifts a hand in consternation eliciting a lopsided grin from Michael.

          "Bear in mind she delivered messages generally as given to her. We all learned very quickly not to leave much ambiguity or room for improvisation. Except for Lucifer who when bored in the throne room absolutely delighted in giving her a random task and setting her loose."

       "Oh, that must have been interesting." Alex grimaces.

        "You have no idea. I actually had to ban the color purple on the third day and I'm still not entirely sure how it came to that. Chaos and cunning are a formidable team." But he's smiling so fondly its absolutely heartwarming. "They're both exasperating but heaven just wasn't right without them."

        "You know," Alex leans forwards in her chair, elbows resting on her knees, "These things you're telling me, about how you feel about them. You should tell them too. Maybe a little wariness with Lucifer is justified, but Gabriel and Raphael, you should tell them. You should especially talk to them about wanting to become human, even just temporarily."

       "I doubt its exactly the right time for that. There's so much going on. I don't need to add to our problems. I'm not going to be that selfish."

       "Michael, you're not considering this for pleasure or anything. You think it'll help you get a better understanding of yourself and humanity and not a few of your brethren. You want to grow. And if I know anything its that there's never going to be a good time to make such a huge change. But its better to talk it over than just let things build in secret, no mattter what you ultimately decide. You know Gabriel will be supportive and Raphael will always stand behind you, no matter what you do."

        Michael's silent, but she knows this silence. It's the big brother silence where he quietly talks himself out of anything that's not what he deems best for his siblings or the universe in general. She sees it alot. Not always on him.

         "Michael." Alex reaches across the table to touch his knee as its all she can reach. "Not everything can be about them. Sometimes they have to be about you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the whole family drama aspect of the Lucifer issue it always gets glossed over the fact that Lucifer rebelled against god and wanted to DESTROY ALL OF HUMANITY. I really hated them having God apologizing to lucifer, though I know he had to due to the situation. 
> 
> Narcissists are really good at redirecting your attention from real problems that are their fault. Lucifer is so seductive and so effectively sympathetic with how he presents himself, that its almost impossible not to fall for him in some way. He always lies, especially when he tells the truth. 
> 
> I think the writers did that so well, that maybe they even fell for it themselves.


	20. Princes of Heaven and Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer torments Brett, Raphael torments Lucifer.
> 
> Michael has something to tell his brother and Luci does not take it well.
> 
> Falling Free by Madonna kept me sane when i was typing up the last half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is surprisingly hard to find any sort of religious medallion for St Michael that does not have a picture of him stepping on the devils neck. Its incredibly hillarious given how little either Michael or Lucifer would appreciate that.
> 
> And havent you ever noticed how all angels look alike in the more classic religious paintings, all feminine all golden curls. And the expressions on them. Often holy constipation, but you get a few mildly homicidal gems like the one I refer to ahead.

        "Brett," Mr. Edwards calls up the fire pole. "Your girlfreinds here." Brett stops scrubbing the floors and looks up. Lucy? What's she doing here? He leans over the opening and looks down. Her striking face is looking up at him, those breathtaking blue eyes peircing through his own.

         "Lucy?" he forgets a better greeting when he sees the pendants hanging around her neck. they're settled right on her chest actually right at the collar which at this angle shows a view of her cleavage he didnt think existed out of carefully staged soft core pornography.

         "I found myself all alone and thought I'd come see you." She presses forwards against the pole looking up. 

        "All alone?" he frowns. She just gives a sly grin. All alone. "I'll be right down." he gets to his feet, untucks his shirt and races down the stairs. "I'm taking a break." He explains to a smiling Mr. Edwards, and takes lucy by the hand, leading her out of the fire station. She is never alone. NEVER. Her brother or sisters, one of the three are always there. ALWAYS.

       "So you're volunteering at the firehouse now." She comments, following him towards the large garage in between the fire station and the church.

      "You and your siblings recent heroics inspired me. So I'm volunteering at the station as kind of apprentice until I'm old enough to volunteer for real." He gets given a sort of smug look, as if she knows how much it bothered him hearing the talk around town.

         That damn article was everywhere. The town does nothing but talk about all four of them since they arrived. Mostly speculating. How did Mrs. Singer really lose her leg. What kind if veteran is Mr. Angelo. Are they actually siblings? Though obviously they were at least raised as ones.

        Then there's Lucy, climbing police fences, having seizures in trapped elevators, dancing like a professional with that brother of hers. Beautiful but not. Seductive but forbidding. She's clearly fifteen but can't possibly be fifteen. Blashphemous in so many ways but noteably never takes the name of the lord in vain. And on top of that now she helps save half a daycare from a burning hotel. She's the town's new darling. 

         "So where are your brothers and sisters?"

         "I have no idea. Gabrielle's off on some top secret black ops thing as far as I know. As for Michael and that other one, I can only assume they've become invisible and are watching my every move from beyond the veil." She gives a careless shrug. He can't help but laugh. One thing about Lucy, she does have a unique sense of humor. "And where are we going?"

          "I thought that maybe since we're actually alone we could maybe... actually be alone somewhere. Privately."  He gives her his most bashful smile. It's usually a winner but as always she doesnt seem quite fooled, but neither does she seem to care. "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

         "I know how beautiful you think I am," She says sweetly trailing her fingers down his jawline. "Isn't that all that matters?" Her soft delicate voice, covering the mocking reply, both inviting and rejecting him at the same time. Anyone not looking in her eyes might be convinced of her sincerity but Brett is neither that stupid or that self deluded. Sometime he doesn't know if he wants to hurt her or just wants her. 

        "How did you get down here." He checks the door. They never lock the church annex. Just the garage itself. "Taxi? Walking?"

        "Gabrielle left her keys, so I decided to try my hand at driving. Parking is not my thing apparently. but well, they have insurance." She shrugs, bringing her free hand up to her new necklace tracing its lines along her chest. When he goes to examine it, she lets him. Its an oddly bulky thing for her to be wearing. It has three small religious medallions for pendants, St. michael, st. gabriel, st raphael, and a small dog tag that says 'if lost please return to' and nothing about who to return it to.

      "This is new." Brett comments.

      "A gift from my siblings." She grins for some reason finding it incredibly funny.  She shakes her head and looks around the room. A few old worn sofas surrounding a stone coffee table. Bookshelves with worn religious books and magazines. Some jesus fish which also seem to amuse her. "Did you know thats an obscene symbol? Just tilted on its side." she turns the magnet so the fish is pointed downwards.  "I'll give you a hint, you don't have one. But desperately want mine," Brett tries very hard to let that not be true. He has to be very careful. Remind himself of consequences. 

         "They don't leave you alone much, do they?" Brett attempts to sympathise drawing closer. Lucy ignored him and examines a painting on the wall. Two small children playing near a cliff with their guardian angel thst he never thought looked quite right. Lucy gives another one of her enchanting laughs at it. "What's so funny?"

        "Look at the angel's face. It's obviously meant to be serene and caring, but she just looks exhausted and utterly done with humanity. And those hands, they way they're positioned is supposed to show protection I assume, but its a little off and the effect is less like a  guarding savior and more like a celestial watcher seriously considering just pushing them off the edge," She points to the features clarifying his nagging objection to it. "They went for stylish pretty lines over accurate expressions and it just changed the whole thing. A failure of form over substance."

       "Oh my god, you're right." he allows himself a laugh as well, and moves behind her, placing his hands on her waist, "Could you imagine if it was true? A presumably benevolant being about to utterly destroy you?" The thought excites him a little. But its fantasy and impractical. Not worth the consequences.

        "Actually I'd call it the most realistic portrayal I've seen. You'd think the artist actually met a gregori at some point. Angels dont actually care about humanity. They're just pretending, doing as they're told." She moves away, effortlessly slipping his grasp.

         "Aren't we all?" He forces a smile. "Lucy, you do like me, don't you?" The vulnerable tone in his voice is pure habit.

          "Not even slightly." She replies with equal softness and vulnerability as she turns to face him. "Oh Brett, don't you know, I feel the exact same way about you as you do about me." She reaches up to caress his cheek, looking at him almost fondly. A clear cue if there ever was one. So he gives her a kiss."You kiss by the book, sir" Is her dry response.

         "Excuse me?" Bret backs away, his cheeks burning.

         "I thought maybe you'd had experience but then again, maybe none of them just ever told you that you were a bad kisser." 

        "And you're any better?" he snaps before he can help himself. In response she grabs him by the collar and pulls him in closer.

         "Do you really want to know?" she whispers just milimeters away from him lips. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest, every instinct oddly telling him not to move. "You should ask your sister." By the time he realizes what she just said, Luci is already back out the door.

         She kissed Denny? Why wouldnt his sister tell him this? When did this happen? Since when does Denny like girls? She keeps drooling all over that admittedly gorgeous yet terrifying brother of Lucy's. Why wouldn't she tell him? They share everything. Even when he doesn't know it apparently. Well, if its a question of who he ultimately values more, there's no question.

        "Lucy." Brett quickly collects himself and chases after her grabbing her arm.

        "I'd let go if I were you."

        "If you preffered my sister, that's all you had to say." His response seems to surprise Lucy. At least something finally has. "This is a fairly reasonably progressive PC town. I think we can handle an all girl couple."

       "Are you trying to encourage me to leave you for your sister?"

       "I know she cares for you and she's important to me," He honestly can't think of a more benign way to say it.

          "How generous of you. You share your things so nicely." Lucy's tone makes him feel slightly nervous. "A goodbye kiss then?" And if she really did kiss Denny, he's impressed that his sister ever stepped aside. One kiss turns into several and somehow Brett finds himself against the church wall, his wrists held firmly above his head. He has an odd mix of fear, utter helplessness and overwhelming desire. Prey. He feels like prey. It's all quickly shattered by a pitcher of ice water dumped over them by her sister April.

         Bett feels vaguely grateful that it wasn't her brother until he sees the man standing over by the firestation with a vaguely threatening look. Frustration anger and fear swirl within him. Getting involved with Lucy was a mistake, but there is no way he's letting her escape now.

 

          "I need to talk to you about this faulty body you made for me." Lucifer wrings out his hair as Brett retreats back to the firehouse. Raphael just raises and eyebrow. "Lactose intolerance is arguably amusing, but an accellerate sex drive is another thing entirely."

         "If i was to meddle in that, I'd be sending it the other way. It's not accellerated." Raphael replies. "You have a perfectly normal healthy adolescent female body. You're simply ovulating." This gives lucifer pause. "I did sterilize you, though. And you're welcome," Raphael ignored the fact that his brother did not and never will thank him, despite the look of relief on his face.

        "Where were the two of you?" Lucifer looks over to the fire station.

         "We were having a family discussion that took longer than we intended. You were supposed to sleep through it, but I suppose I underestimated how long we'd need you out." 

         "Let me remind you, Raphael, that I will at some point, regardless of circumstance or design, regain my grace and when that day comes I will certainly remember ever single incident like this." Lucifer looks his little brother directly in the eyes. "Or have you forgotten who you're abusing?"

        "Not for a second." He doesnt seem the least perturbed. "After all, seeing as I'm already well and thoroughly damned, I might as well enjoy myself." Under other circumstances Lucifer might find the utterance amusing. But he'll see how wrong he was eventually.

       "And what was this family discussion that I was not to be a part of? I assume it involved Gabriel." Lucifer changes the subject to more important immediate concerns.

       "And Castiel by neccessity." At least Raphael sounds properly chagrinned about that. "Michael will be speaking to you later."

       "Unless that seraph's shed his bonds to the Winchesters it had better not have been about me,"

       "Not everything is." Raphael's words drip with pure disdain. " Rest assurred, none of us want their involvement in any of this. Gabriel included." He starts walking back towards the firehouse as if he thinks that will end the conversation.

       "Her task, then. I assume that since you're here and not with her as you should be, that everything is going well on that front?"

      "She still has her phone. She's not cut off from all contact.  If you want news of her you can stop sulking like a spoiled brat and ask her yourself." Raphael of course, refuses to be the least helpful at all. Lucifer lifts his necklace to look at the amulets again.

        "I should thank her for these. It must have taken her a long time to find a decent St. Michael one."Lucifer looks at the image, "Granted they all resemble Gabriel more than anything."         Raphael actually smiles at this. Likely at the traditional painting used for the st michael medallion. It's bad enough that every angel in all classic religious artistry look somehow like a whitewashed Gabriel, but the insistance of portraying Lucifer as a deformed monstrosity is almost unbearably insulting. Useful but still insulting.

         "...it requires a hundred and ten hour training course, but that can be done online." One of the fireman, Mr. Edwards, is talking to Michael as they approach. "You will have to fill out an application of course, but given your recent exploits, its really more of a formality."

         "That was quick." Raphael comments. Michael just shrugs.

        "Ms. Akupara," the fireman gives a freindly nod. " I was just talking to your brother here about joining the department. It's been a dry year and looks to be an equally dry and hot summer. We need all the help to be honest." And then, as if it wasnt a complete patronizing after thought. "So if you were interested in applying as well, we are an equal opportunity employer. And all of us know how to properly treat a lady." he says a little too hopefully. Lucifer look over to his brother who looks very much like he'd rather set this gentleman on fire than put any out.

        "You are well overdue for brush fires, but I have prior commitments." Raphael says cooly. "Michael, we should get home." Oddly enough she seems a bit short with Michael as well,

         "Of course. Do you have a paper application? We don't have access to the internet at home." Michael turns his attention back to the fireman, ignoring Raphael's attitude.

         "You're in luck, we're the worst funded most behind the time station in the county so we absolutely do have paper applications. At least for the volunteers. It's right in my office. If you'll come with me for second, I have a few other pamplets to give you as well."

          "He doesn't actually expect Michael to join this piddling little fire department, does he?"Lucifer frowns. Though thats clearly what it looks like they have to know better at least on some level. The Prince of Heaven putting out fires?

        "Mr. Edwards is certianly presumptuous enough." Raphael comments darkly. "I do beleive Michael intends to though. They've been courting him since the school dance."

        "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Has he lost his mind?" The fact that Raphael does not immediately jump to Michael's defense speaks volumes. There's no point in asking the useless one about it though. All Lucifer can do is wait for Michael. Or ask Gabriel.

         'Has Michael lost his damn mind?' he texts, but before he can get a reply, Raphael takes his phone away.

        "You'll get it back after you talk to Michael." Raphael stops as he sees the response. 'if you have to ask, then yes, probably.' and laughs.

        "You have a lovely laugh, Ms Akupara." Mr. Edwards with the caterpillar mustache comments, returning first. "Perfectly fitting for such a lovely woman."

        "I'm not interested." Raphael says flatly, his race returning to its solemn demeanor.

        "I'm just being freindly."

        "Don't be."

       "I can't even just pay a pretty woman a compliment?"Oh, he sounds a bit offended now.

        "No."

        "Don't worry, we'll send some penicillin back with the application." Lucifer adds as Michael returns, application in hand, much to both mr. Edwards' and her brother's confusion. "You know for that jungle fever of yours." Raphael quickly turns and heads back to the car so Lucifer doesnt see his unstoppably amused smile.

         "Lovely child." Mr. Edwards blushes, teeth clenched as Luci slowly follows his retreating sibling.

          "I beleive the phrase you're looking for is 'complete and utter pain in the ass'. I'll stop by with this later this week." Michael waves the paper and follows his siblings.

 

        "Have a seat, brother. We need to have a talk." Michael motions to the couch. Lucifer says nothing and stays standing, so Michael just shrugs and sits down. "As I'm sure you know, I've been seeing Ms. Jones, Alex, every week. I've been seeing her a long time now, well for a human, several years in fact, and we've been discussing some things lately. Big rather personal things." He rubs the back of his neck. Lucifer sits down on the couch beside him,arms crossed and turns to face him.

        "This had better not be what I think it is." he says quietly. Michael barely hears him.

         "You know with all the changes in heaven and on earth, I no longer really have a place. I don't even really want it back, so I can't say my experiences haven't changed me as well. But Alex has been helping me through all of that. And now, even though it's not the best time, though in truth never would be, I've decided to make another big change." he pauses for breath.

         "I knew it. You're lovers and you've decided to become human and marry her or some nonsense like that." Lucifer says, through clenched teeth. Michaels calm mask breaks into pure irritation.

         "Why is that always where your mind goes? I have no intrest in Alex or Adam or Freya or Thor or anyone I'm freindly with and doubt I ever will. Are you going to assume I'm sexualy involved with every human or non human I form any kind of relationship with?" Michael demands.

        "Yes."

       "That did actually kind of sound like thats what you were getting at." Raphael interjects. being entirely unhelpful to someone other than Lucifer for a change. Clearly something enormous has gone down.

       "I'm not involved with Alex. She's still happily dating our nephew, and I just dont view her that way. I decided to become human for other reasons entirely." Michael snaps. Lucifer gets very quiet and very still. An event somehow even more troubling than when Michael does, as it indicates less intense control than it does an intense imminent explotion. Despite his powerlessness, it makes the entire room palpably tense.

           "You've decided to become human." Lucifer's voice is so soft and gentle it can barely be heard. "And when will you be doing this?"

           "It's already done."

           "I see." Lucifer adjusts himself slowly uncrossing his arms. Michael reaches out to touch his arm when he gets a not entirely unexpected right hook, straight in the mouth. "Owww." Lucifer grabs his fist. "Why did that hurt?" he winces as his brother does. Michael puts a hand to his broken lip and looks at the blood on his finger tips. Its a very odd sensation. A little tingly.

         "Because you're a malnourished fifteen year old girl and I'm a twenty four year old war veteran."He touches his lip again wondering at the pain. It's not much but more than he's felt in a while. Fitting that it was caused by Lucifer again. Raphael touches his head, healing him, and ignores Lucifer's arguably worse busted hand. "Raph." he chides him.

         "No. If he attacks you, he doesn't get healed afterwards. At the very least its at my discretion."

          Lucifer gets to his feet and walks out of the cottage, seething with rage. Unbelievable. He should have murdered that girl when she was within reach. How did she do it? What did he do with his grace? Did he give it to her for safe keeping? To another angel? The thought of another angel with their hands on Michael's grace makes him so angry, he has to break into a run to let off some of the energy.

          The discomfort slowls him and is at the very least distracting. It's hard to think about his idiot brother for any consistant length of time. Then it happens, he starts to actually feel good. the feel of the grass beneath his feet, the wind in his hair, the very motion if his body is almost exhilerating. 

           He knew Sam liked to run, but he never understood be why. Sure the fitness aspect would explain why he did it, but liking it. There's pleasure in it, enjoyment, peace. But the forest trail doesnt stay cleared and he's forced to slow down, even stop at a large log. He'll definitely have to do that again.

         Why did he run though? Because Michael is still too strong to fight? That never stopped him before. He even won occaisionally. Granted he'll bleed now and he has to deal with quite enough blood as it is. Why did their father do this to women? Was it because of Eve? At least His tendancy to excessively punative punishments wasnt just confined to His treatment of Lucifer. And the cramps. Why does any woman worship Him at all?

          Did He ever go through that? Or did He stick to being male. Did He ever have any children? Adopt any? Lucifer can never ask now. How long did it take Him to learn the guitar or did he just give himself the ability? Is that old guitar a hand of God or just a shitty old instrument? If it is, is it a weapon or does it just make perfect sounds and never need tuning? The second is more likely. Why is he thinking about all this ridiculous pointless irrellevent to anything nonsense?

        Why does everyone want to be human? Can't they see how horrible and degrading it is? Father knows they've spent enough time watching the mindless apes to know that. What kind of sick fetish is this? What's wrong with them?

       What's wrong with Michael? Did he... did the cage break him so thoroughly? Did he... No, Michael did it to himself, clinging to that stupid worthless creature. Spending so much of his grace healing rebuilding soothing a body never meant to hold him. And then that damn human woman made it even worse. How dare they do this to him?

        A thought occurs to him that he knows Michael chose this all on his own. That if it had truly been forced on him, or taken from him, Lucifer would have laughed. It would have served him right, after all to be betrayed and brought low by the very creatures he turned on his most beloved Helel for. Its not their fault. But it is. Of course, it is. They've taken Michael from him more thoroughly than they ever had before.  They'll pay for this. All of them.

          "Lucifer." he looks up as Michael taps his shoulder. His brother isn't even out of breath.

          "How could you do this to yourself?" He cant see any real difference in Michael now, but he knows that this shell is all there is to see, no more heavenly flame, burning against the darkness. Lucifer has to look away.

          "I have my reasons."

          "I'm being punished, I know that. Some misguided but well meant chaotic alternative justice nonsense of Gabriel's that I'm going to have to suffer through until I can make that girl see sense. But you... how could you let them do this to you?"

        "I didn't let them. I asked them. I had to convince them." Michael kneels down in front of his brother lifting his chin to meet his eyes. "I will never agree with what you did. What you've done... But what I've done is no better.

        "You were my responsibility. I taught you, raised you, trained you. That you could have done what you did is as much a failure of mine as it is of yours."Michael moves his hands to gently caress his brothers cheeks. "Your disgrace is my disgrace. I thought my failure as a brother could be erased by being a good son, a good soldier. I thought I could redeem myself by erasing you, when what I should have done was stay by your side from the first transgression.

        "When you were stripped of your titles, I should have relinquished mine. When I was told to cast you out, I should have gone with you and broken your fall. I just see so many ways I went wrong. If I'd done what I should have from the start, it might never have even come to that.

          "I can't undo any of that.  But what I can do is step down beside you now, and learn along side you what I was unable to teach you. And until you regain your grace, or some urgent need comes, I will stay here, human, beside you."

          Lucifer can't bring himself to say anything to this. Michael loves him this much. Michael did this to do this to himself, for him. To punish himself? the very idea is just....

          "This is... this is pointless." Lucifer protests, his voice a bit broken. "I was right. I didn't do anything wrong and don't deserve any of this, so how could you?"

          "I know what you believe." Michael gives him a sad smile and pulls his brother down into a hug.

          "You're an idiot." Lucifer closes his eyes to keep from melting all over his brother. "We were princes of heaven and earth. How could you give that up?"

         "I haven't given up anything." He sooths, gently stroking Luci's hair. Lucifer just holds on tighter, willing the truth away and failing.

         "When did you get so eloquent anyways?" 

         "Since I spent eight hours with Gabriel trying to figure out what I wanted to say." Michael admits.

          "When did she get so eloquent then?" Lucifer frowns, striaghtening up.

          "Rom coms, hundreds of them. I'm not sure what that means exactly but it helped." Michael pats his back and lets go at Lucifer's exaperated sigh. "What?"

           "She just doesn't stop, does she? Rom com is short for romantic comedy. This is the candle lit room all over again, you know that?"

           "Well, we're not ending up in bed together again. I'm sleeping on the couch." Surprisingly Lucifer is not amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thats hillariously true about the jesus fish. It was a common graffiti item that they co-opted changing just slightly for a secret sign. I like to think Gabriel was involved in that decision, as the civil was in heaven was over at that time and she didnt have to stay quite so far from the area.


	21. Oh the humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Denny decide to do something nice for Lucy when she turns sixteen. 
> 
> Michael and Lucifer get caught fighting
> 
> Gabriel sends a gift.
> 
> Raphael is just plain done with all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately some sweet words and a nice gesture don't fix all the problem in a relationship. Plus old habits die hard.
> 
> HW Ernsts variations are considered the most difficult peices for a violin. Lucy had decided to pick up the instrument her last venture out just for the hell of it but its a new body to break in so she does need practice.
> 
> Apparently 'chicken coop' is a euphamism according the urban dictionary, which I found out thanks to my unbridled and regrettable curiosity. Though I'm no longer entirely sure that the Urban dictionary is not just a giant practical joke on suburbanites. You know like the US version of drop bears.

         "Do turkey in the straw." Denny asks, leaning back on her arms on the grassy hill across from the fire station. "Or Cotton Eyed Joe. Anything but this again."

         "No, but I am done for the day. My fingers are bleeding." Lucy finally puts down her violin, and puts the raw digits in her mouth. A quick view of the strings shows they are indeed blood stained.

         "Why are you in such a hurry to learn this?" Brett takes her hand, the open first aid kit in his lap.

        "I'll be officially sixteen on saturday and my siblings won't allow me to get my learners permit and driving lessons until I've perfected it." She scowls. Brett just gives a whistle, though his sister indulges in a laugh.  

       "It was originally going to be just 'Down Bound Train' but because of what I did to the car when i took it, it's 'Flight of the Bumblebee' to learn and 'H.W. Ernst's Variations on the Last Rose of Summer' to get the actual license. And since I can't disintegrate them with a snap of my fingers, it's easiest just to submit, plot my future revenge, and mail her my bloody violin strings for a belated Mother's day gift."

       "Where is Gabrielle anyways? I mean really." Denny hands Lucy a bottle of water. She just shrugs and stares at the men maintaining the engines at the fire station. Thats most of what they seem to do, check and recheck the equipment. 

      "I don't know. She won't tell me what she does. I'm really starting to lose patience with this whole ridiculous situation." Lucy frowns. Denny lights a joint and takes a puff before offering it to Lucy. "No, thanks." She passes it over to Brett who puts it out in a damp patch of dirt and smashes the remains into a muddy pulp.

      "Excuse you!" Denny exclaims.

      "The police station is right there, Denny." Brett doesnt even make a pretense at an apology.

      "Three blocks down!"

      "The church then." Both Denny and Lucy just roll their eyes.

     "That does remind me, though." Lucy puts an arm around each of the twins shoulder. "Have either of you given a thought to the state of your immortal souls?"

     "I've found Jesus, thank you." Brett puts an arm around her waist and sneaks a quick kiss. 

    "He was missing?" Denny exclaims, "Damnit, nobody tells me anything!" This makes Lucy laugh so hard she almost falls backwards.

    "Ah, there you are." Lucy smiles looking to the side. The twins look up to see that sister of hers, April walking up to them. Where did she come from? "I was wondering what would get you here." the generally serious looking woman frowns and starts talking in that language Lucy and her family keep slipping into. It's clearly an argument, not unusual. But it ends quickly and with April pointing back to the firehouse. "Alright, minions. We're going home. I'll call you when we're in town next." she picks up her violin case and heads back down the hill.

      "Can we help you?" Denny asks testily as April just stands there, frowning at them.

      "You really shouldnt be spending time with Lucy." She says after a moments consideration. "It's not good for you. Any of you."

     "You know, you really need to cut her some slack." Denny snaps, finally a but fed up with the whole dissaproving, punative attitude April especially seems to take with her little sister. "You and your brother are always all over her, watching her every move and she doesnt do anything. If its because of the seizures get her a damn service dog, so you can stop breathing down her neck. 

      "I mean, God! You never leave her alone! Today is the best so far and she had to stay within sight of the fire station. She has no privacy. There isnt even a door to her bedroom. She had to steal a damn car just to get a little time alone with her boyfreind. I mean, come on are you her sister or her fucking warden?" Brett keeps silent, but gets to his feet in case he has to intervene.

       "Both, little girl."April responds curtly. "And you have no idea who she is and what she's done, or even what she'd do to you if she could." The forbidding woman looks Denny straight in the eyes. "But since you won't do that, for the love of all you hold dear, do not give her anything. A lock of hair, a drop of blood, anything. Certainly don't give her a claim your soul, even in jest." And she turns and walks away before the two can respond.

         "Our souls?" Denny raises an eyebrow and looks to her brother.

        "Maybe english isn't their first language." Brett ventures, moving closer to his sister and puts an arm around her.

         "Maybe they're a spy family and Gabrielle is really a sort of secret agent off on a black ops mission." Denny rests her head on his shoulder.

         "She's too loud to be a spy."

         "No she's too loud to be a mime. As a spy she could be inconspicuously conspicuous. Hiding in plain sight you know. And she has a bionic leg full off gadgets and secret compartments. That movie theater is really a secret labratory where April cooks up all sorts of concoctions and weapons and stuff."

         "Because having a movie theater in their house isn't odd enough."

         "Lucy's being trained for missions with a deep cover as a future concert violinist. She said she started learning it a decade ago. This father they claim to share is really, like, father Russia."

          "It's mother Russia. And she has seizures."

          "Psycho Nonepileptic types ones, obviously all the training and indoctrination is giving her traumatic side effects. The elevator must have made her flash back to torture resistance training or something."

           "Uh-huh." Brett sighs, "So what's Michael then? Bosley?"

           "First off that's Charlie's Angels not James Bond. And he's clearly the honey trap."

         "I'm fairly sure the only honey pots he's after contain actual honey." Brett remarks, a bit jealously in Denny's opinion.

         "I can't wait until the auction," She sighs longingly. Not that she could ever hope to raise enough money to win against the idle rich bachelorettes in this town.

        "Thinking they'll actually let you bid on him is the most unrealistic fantasy yet." 

           "Yeah, I'll just have to start setting fires." Denny shakes her head, Brett just laughs and rests his head against his sisters. As usual he feels that odd mix of affection and anxiety that he always gets at her touch. As if nothing else really matters unless she's there. It's not always pleasant but as addicting as Lucy's kiss. Maybe more as he doesn't fear it quite so much.

          "Are you still sure about Lucy?" He asks, earning a rather disdainful look.

         "Yes. And she's not some toy to be tossed back and forth. She's with you because she wants to be with you. Not because she can't be with me. I mean, come on does she strike you as the kind of girl to settle?"

        Which, he has to admit, she does not. But is she above using him to get closer to Denny? That's the real question. Not that he'd say something like that to his sister after her impassioned defense of her freind to her imposing sibling.

       "She's not interested in me, Brett. she was just being provocative. C'mon. Lets go get some pizza before the old men spot you and make you go scrub toilets." Denny starts towards the road, then stops and smacks her brother in the chest."Hold on, did Lucy say earlier that her birthday is this Saturday?"

        "I believe she did. It was incredibly subtle."Brett frowns.

        "And that's it? She just says it in an aside about driving. Do you see Lucy as not demanding total devotion and tribute on a birthday? Something is really fucked up about that. She must be more upset over her sister leaving than I thought."

        "Maybe they just don't celebrate birthdays. I never see them in the church. Jehovahs witnesses maybe?" Brett shrugs and lets Denny pull hum after her. "Or maybe it's just part of her deep cover and not her real birthday so she cant get too excited over it." He teases her.

       "No that would still consist of passing up a chance to be the center of attention and object of adoration. Now we can't do anything about Gabrielle, but we can distract her with presents and cake."

       "Right, so is this a best freind thing or a boyfreind thing."

      "Have you had sex yet?"

      "What?" Brett exclaims, turning red. "What does that have to do with anything? Am i not a real boyfreind if we havent or something?" The defensive reaction indicating a clear no to Denny. Not that she thought they had, but that unchaperoned day at the firehouse, maybe. 

        "No, if you ever want to have sex with her you'll make a gigantic humongous deal out of it like there's no tommorrow. The same goes if you have and ever want to again."

         "You could have just said 'yes, its a boyfreind thing' "Brett snaps still out of sorts for the teasing.

         "Ah, but then i wouldn't have gotten to see you blush. C'mon, lets plan a kickass birthday surprise."

          

BRETT: Do u have anything planned 4 sat?

LUCY:Michael and I are setting up a chicken coop.

BRETT: ....

BRETT: an actual chkn coop or....

LUCY: I'm not aware of any euphamisms involving chicken coups but yes, an actual chicken coop.

LUCY:He won't stop eating any and every random hunk of meat he comes across so we're getting chickens.

LUCY: If he has to eat meat he's going to at least get it fresh, free range,and antibiotic free and slaughter it his own damn self.

BRETT:....

LUCY: Plus fresh eggs for me. We might get a goat or two, but I refuse to take care of them so maybe not. The garden's bad enough.

BRETT: u really r serious about this orgnc health food crap arnt u?

LUCY: Of course, I'm stuck with this body, probably for a long time. I'm only putting premium fuel in it if I have any choice at all.

BRETT: And of course the whole issue of the welfare and humane treatment of the animals

LUCY: ...

LUCY: So why did you ask about saturday? 

BRETT: u said u were officially turning 16 sat

LUCY: And?

BRETT: and its ur b-day

LUCY: ?

BRETT: the day you were born

LUCY: I wasnt born, actually.

BRETT: c-section?

LUCY: Nope. Personally crafted by the hands of God Himself.

BRETT: it shows ur lips r divine

LUCY: I got those from my sister actually. Nose too.

BRETT: I can see that. All modesty aside dont they do b-days where ur from?

LUCY: No

BRETT: Denny thought as much. she doesnt beleive u would voluntarily opt out of a day dedicates to celebrating ur existence

LUCY: Not every existence is meant to be celebrated. In fact, I'm pretty sure thats something my family would actively, severely discourage. Amusing thought, though.

BRETT: no offense but ur sibs are a bunch of dicks to make u think that. 

LUCY: You're not the first to call them that. But nobodys existence was celebrated but our fathers. And then his pets.  We kind of had bit of a falling out over that one. But he's gone now, so...

BRETT: what an ahole the pets?

LUCY: Daddy dearest loved his little monkeys.

BRETT: wow

LUCY: They destroy every thing. Leave their waste just everywhere. I had this whole beautiful garden that was just totally ruined. I cant even go back there anymore. I cant stand the things, now. Would wipe out every single one if I could.

BRETT: i feel u. so monkey stew for birthday dinner?

LUCY:   : D

BRETT:  ;) my birthdays not til october. so ur older ur an old woman

LUCY:  Ancient.

BRETT: if we came on sat for ur bday would they let u stop chkn cooping to blow out candles?

LUCY: No clue. Best not to ask.

BRETT: anything u want 4 gift?

LUCY: If I thought you could get it, I'd ask you, but not really. A beehive maybe? I'm sick of Michael eating all the honey. I thought at least that would get better but its worse.

BRETT: a safe then? lock up ur valuable sweets

LUCY: That might work. It might even keep my absurdly expensive organic candy safe from from Gabrielle, though probably not. If she ever comes back that is.

BRETT: Im sure shell b ok. will have church pray for her if u like

LUCY: That might help actually. 

LUCY: If you have them pray to Gabriel for Gabrielle Singer.

BRETT: ur catholic then. were prodestant. dont pray to angels just to god

LUCY: Forget it then.

BRETT: I can ask if its important. Ill ask Christians mom to ask her church. shes catholic.

LUCY: As many prayers as you can get will help. To Gabriel, about my sister.

BRETT: im surprised. u dont seem at all religious

LUCY: I'm not. I just love my sister.

BRETT: u 2 r really close arent u?

LUCY: We used to be. 

BRETT: what happened?

LUCY: She's a monkey lover. Ran off, went all Diane Fossey, told nobody. We thought she was dead. Came back minus leg and with terrible disturbing stories. We were getting closer again but now there's an unknown emergency and she's gone again.

BRETT: Monkey business?

LUCY: Probably.

BRETT: so, gift list: monkey stew, beehive, safe, prayers for sister, anything else? Even just practical stuff you can't generally afford.

LUCY: I have lost purchasing power lately.

LUCY: hmmm practical

LUCY: how about YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL mwahahaha

BRETT: Im using mine. might I suggest church? spiffy yours up again, good as new

LUCY: Wouldn't work; don't have one. Wouldn't go if I did. 

LUCY: I could use a tattoo kit though. Redoing mine in pen every day is getting to be a pain.

BRETT: tattoo kit, check. 

BRETT: mom is calling gtg

LUCY: I know. Your mom is loud. Am on the phone with Denny. She says hi. 

BRETT: We're in the same room. tell her shes a dumbass  ttyl

LUCY:ttyl

 

      "Where did you find a safe shaped like a beehive?" Denny pokes the large ornately wrapped box in his lap.

       "Amazon of course. The overnight shipping cost as much as the thing itself though. Are you sure about that though?" Brett nods to the gift basket of bath and body stuff in hers.

       "What are you kidding?" Denny pushes the seatbelt aside as it digs into her throat. "It's all natural, no added chemicals or preservatives, organic, and all quince scented. Its like its made for her. Look, even the catalogue is called Lucy's Garden."

          "Are you sure she's likes quinces though?"

          "Someone does, they always have them there and I never see Michael or April eat them. So if its not her, its Gabrielle. And you know she misses her sister so it'll make her think of her. Besides, you've smelled this stuff, its divine. its perfect."

          "Don't let that cake fall, Denise." Mrs Hanlon reminds her, though the cake is between both her and Brett. "Honestly, no birthdays? No wonder shes that way." They finally pull into the drive way behind the pink sparkly convertible. "That is the most ridiculous car I've ever seen." she grumbles.

        Brett's fairly sure that their mother only agreed to it because, Gabrielle's not going to be there. That and she's curious about the chicken coop. He takes both the cake and his present as the gift basket is more than enough for Denny to carry. His mother got her a few gifts too. Some very modest, conservative shapeless dresses along with a season of Sixteen and Pregnant. Debra Hanlon, master of the passive agressive. Not that she needs to worry. Her siblings are ridiculously effective chaperones. When his mother knocks on the door, its April who answers.

       "Can I help you?" She frowns, looking confused at their presence, even with their packages. 

       "Yes, we're just here to wish Lucy a happy birthday and drop off some presents. We know you probably have some big family plans, but we didn't want to miss out on her special day completely,"

        "Her what?"

        "She turns sixteen today." Brett clarifies. Wow. She really wasnt kidding.

         "Oh, that. You might as well come in" April sighs and steps back to let them inside. "I've been meaning to meet with you anyway, Mrs. Hanlon. Michael and Lucy are still working in the backyard. Would you like some lemonade?" She motions to a pitcher on the table. Brett raises an eyebrow. April seems downright freindly today, though tired.

       "I was setting out dinner, but there's plenty if you care to join us." She points to a spread of fruit, vegetables, cheese, dressing, and multigrain bread. Plus a triple quarter pounder, probably for Michael.  She must be a vegetarian too. "Brett, Denny, would you mind going out back to tell my siblings to finish up and wash for dinner?"

        "Not at all."Denny grabs Brett's hand and starts to drag him back outside. What could she want to talk their mother about? Hopefully not about the day Luci took the car.

        They can see Lucy and Michael arguing a ways away, by an odd half finished round construct of sticks and grasses. Brett puts a hand over Dennys mouth so she doesnt interrupt. He says something. She replies and shoves him. He just shakes his head and turns away to get some more grass. Lucy... holy fuck! He drags Denny back behind the corner of the house. Did she just try to stab him with a spade? 

         He and Denny can't keep looking away though. They peer around the corner and just watch the two fight. Its actual intense combat, too, like they're trying to actually kill each other and its clearly not the first time they've done this. How is she even holding her own against him? Probably because she has a weapon, even if he's broken the spade tip off and he... oh, he's gotten it away from her at the expense of his own ribs and just oh dear god, did he just body slam her on the ground? A full out body slam, back flat to the ground. She's done. Lucy is definitely done. 

         "OH MY GOD! LUCY!" Denny almost instinctively tries to run over to her but Brett grabs her to try and hold her back. But it's too late anyway, Michael's seen them. He looks... embarassed? He's holding onto his ribs, looking as out of breath as the figure on the ground must be. Denny breaks free and races over as Michael just makes his way back to the cottage, limping slightly. He's just going to leave her there. Brett goes to catch up with his sister.

        "Lucy?" Denny kneels down by her.

        "Go... away," she forces out, also managing to looking embarassed as she gasps for breath.

        "What the hell was that!" Denny half shreiks. "Was that krav maga?"

         "We... spar... its noth... nothing," She's seriously trying to explain this away. She's clearly dazed and barely holding onto conciousness and Denny has lost it. She's breathing. Bretts not sure what exactly to do for a fucking body slam. "s'okay. m'okay." she would sound more believable if she could open her eyes or actually move.

         "No, that... what the hell, Lucy? You tried to fucking kill him! Who does that?" 

         "Lucy?" Brett puts a hand on her cheek as she just kind of goes still. "Lucy?!" 

         "Did she just pass out? I'm calling 911." Denny takes out her phone

          "Lucy? Can you hear me?" Brett checks her pulse and her heartbeat. April is suddenly there. She takes Denny's phone and bends down to assess her sister, giving her just a breif touch to the forhead as if she thinks to find a fever or something. Just two fingers though?

           "Lucy will be fine." She says. But how can she possibly tell from that.

            "Like hell she is! They just... she just..." Denny's close to hyperventilating so Brett quickly moves beside her and starts rubbing her back.

         "They do this all the damn time. She'll be fine." 

          "I really think she needs to go to the hospital, ma'am. They both probably do." Brett says cautiously as April picks Lucy up, cradling her surprisingly tenderly, and carries her back to the house, like she weighs nothing at all.

           "They will both be just fine." she repeats, for all the world not sounding the least concerned only annoyed. "You should take your things and go home."

            "What happened?" Mrs. Hanlon exclaims as April carries Lucy in, placing her carefully on the couch. 

           "Nothing you need concern yourself with. It's best if you go." Brett can't see Michael, but there's the sound of a bath being drawn.

        "Is that blood? Is she bleeding?" 

         "Get out of our house. Now." April strides over to re-open the half closed door. There's a fireman with a large boom box there, paper in hand, just poised to knock.

           "Hey, I'm uh, here for Miss Lucy Pivensie? Birthday wishes from her sister Gabe? Gabrielle?" Its then Brett notices a bare waxed and oiled chest peeking from under the rubber jacket.

          "What?" It occurs to Brett that a normal person would probably start feeling sorry for April right about now. She's clearly the only sane one in the family. Even if she is suffering culture shock.

          "He's a stripper." Brett informs her. April covers her eyes with her free hand and takes a very deep breath.

          "Lucy is sixteen! Get the hell out of here." Their mother grabs them both, shoving Denny out the door and dragging Brett behind. 

         "Um..." the stripper starts looking around awkwardly.

          "Leave." He hears April say, followed by the slamming of a door too quickly to be anything other than  in his face.

           "I'm calling child services," their mother takes out her phone, waiting for the stripper to back out. "You two are not to go even near that psychotic Michael Singer ever again."

           "Angelo." Brett corrects.

           "I dont care! Jenny you need to get someone to Mrs. Singers house right away."

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I feel really, really sorry for Raphael. Can you imagine having those three for siblings? No wonder he lost it and went all gung ho for the apocalypse. 
> 
> Probably for the best that Denny didnt see Lucy's reaction to her present though.
> 
> I don't really blame Mrs. Hanlon for her resction though, do you?


	22. Mending Fences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is done cleaning up after their fights. Maybe having to deal with the consequences of their roughhousing for once will make them cool their heels a bit. At the very least, Raphael needs a damn break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back injuries are fairly serious. And you can't arguably have an adult man mercilessly body slam a sixteen year old girl without seriously hurting her.

    Raphael just stands at the door, his face buried in his hands, waiting until the cars have left and Michael is out of the shower, to even move.

    "What the hell is wrong with you two?" He asks as he hears the bathroom door open.

    "I can't speak for Lucifer but my problem is that he tried to spear me with a gardening tool." Michael replies coolly.

    "Right, and for that you had to slam him into the ground so hard you nearly fractured his skull and ruined his back. I thought this whole human thing was about self control, not breaking things or accidentally crippling him! What the hell were you arguing about this time?"

    "I can't believe you're defending him." Michael is just absolutely astonished. Never has Raphael sided against him. Especially not about Lucifer. Not since the dawn of time.

    "I'm not defending him! I'm accusing you. It's not you or him, and you AND him! And I'm sick of it. You always do this.  You always take it so much farther than it needs to go. Yes, he started it. He always starts it, but you... always.... None of you know when to fucking stop!" And Raphael disappears, leaving behind a speechless Michael.  His unrestrained fury even shorted out everything in the cottage.

      Michael slowly sits down in the plush chair next to the couch, the pain in his ribs making him wince. Farther than it needs to go? What would he know? When has Raphael ever faced anything head on? He was always hiding behind Michael, and he wants to criticize him now? To hell with that.

      You have to end it decisively or it just never ends. No, Lucifer never knows when to stop so Michael always has to be the one to stop him. What was he supposed to do? Let him stab him? But it never ends regardless does it? It just escalates into this disaster. Once again he's pulled into this never ending cycle. They argue, Lucifer just pushes and pushes, jabbing at him until he's barely keeping his temper in check and then a shove, and stab and they're fighting, trying to beat each other into submission more brutally than with any other. An no matter how thoroughly he beats him back down, how decisive the victory, it's never enough. His brother is the most willful, stubborn, prideful creature in all existence.

      Though honestly, this fight was rather pitiful on both their parts. These bodies are so easily damaged and the pain can be ridiculously intense. Why would their father make such easily breakable bodies so incredibly sensitive? Granted that half answers it's own question. It's probably to discourage such breaking of themselves or others. Angels were made to fight, but humans are obviously something else entirely.

      Michael hears Lucifer give a slight pained noise on the couch, and moves to sit down on the floor beside his injured brother's head.

      "Are you alright?" He asks gently, as Lucifer opens his eyes. This gets him a withering look that's not undeserved. "Did you even try to break your fall? I know you know how."

     "I forgot I no longer had wings," comes the embarrassed reply. That's right, a strong flap of the wings to counter the force of the slam before you can hit the ground doesn't work if you don't have any wings.

     "I kept forgetting as well." Michael confesses. Several of his moves lacked power without wing support, and it threw him off balance. Though Lucifer had to have noticed. They had practiced wingless combat, but they rarely needed to use it. Once a wing was injured most fights ended very quickly. That was likely Gabriel's real advantage when he and Lucifer fought, not being hampered by the instinct to use his wings. She'd concealed them so long. 

     "How can such a sad little tussle end in this much pain?" Lucifer wonders. "I always thought they were just whiny spoiled little weaklings, which they are but not about physical injuries apparently."

    "If it's any consolation, you may have broken several of my ribs." Michael offers, getting a small smile from him.

    "It is, but I'm sure I didn't." Lucifer turns his head to look at him. He can see the bruises forming across Michael's torso and an angry welt across his cheek. A trickle of water rolls down from Michael's still wet hair, and he finds himself committed to tracing it's journey down his cheek, his neck, ending on his bare damp chest. "Raphael didn't heal you?" He forces himself to look back up to his brother's face. But that's not much better with his cheeks and lips ruddy from the hot shower, so he looks away again.

     "Not much, there was an audience. The twins saw us and apparently they and their mother were greatly disturbed by the violence."

     "Ah, I see."

     "And Gabriel sent you a stripper gram for your birthday.  Mrs. Hanlon wasn't amused." This does elicit a laugh from him that doesn't last long as laughing uses far more back muscles than you'd think.

     "Best mom ever." He grins.

     "You do know that just because she used part of her vessel in creating yours doesn't make her your mother any more than part of your grace being used in Castiel's ascention makes him your son, right?" Michael rolls his eyes.

     "Part of my what?"

     "Your grace. You possessed him. You don't remember but its true." Michael winces, he'd breifly forgotten Lucifer hadn't been privy to that information. He can see a war between intense irritation, resentment, and amusement wage itself in his brother's face. It resolves into a short almost mean laugh.

     "I'm going to have to remember that if I ever see him again. I wonder how he'd feel about calling me 'dad'." He grins, though the fact that he's still in pain in clear.

     "I'm sorry. I injured you more than I mean to."

     "That's a stupid thing to apologize for. Am I supposed to say it's alright? As if it would have been fine if you'd only injured me as much as you meant to?" The hypocrite tries to sound victimized. Not that it's unusual, but the deep tissue bruises on Michael's ribs make him less inclined to put up with it.

     "You tried to spear me."

     "Oh please. We both know that barely had a chance of actually catching you by surprise."

     "And if it had? Would you then be apologizing for accidentally killing me?"

     "It wouldn't have killed you."

     "You don't know that."

     "It's actually fairly hard to accidentally stab a person to death especially in an area with all that bone. You have to know what you're doing."

     "Are you pretending you don't?"

     "No. So when I tell you It wouldn't have killed you, I know what I'm talking about." Lucifer looks around the room as best he can without moving too much. "Where's Raphael and why isn't he doing his damn job and fixing this?" There's another incredibly loud and firm pounding at the door. Michael gets to his feet and answers it.

      "You'd better not be another stripper." He frowns at the police officer in front of him.  She looks a bit taken aback by the comment, unsure of whether to be flattered or offended. Given the stunning male form in front of her and the report she was given by Debra, she decides not to be either.

       "I'm sorry, but we've had a report of child abuse. Do you mind if I come in?"

       "A report of what?" Michael frowns.

       "Oh for the love of all that is, just let her in to talk to me, Michael, so we can get this over with." Lucifer sighs. Michael nods and lets the woman in. She looks over the man in the dirty jeans, paying special attention to his injuries.

       "I'm Officer Braxton. What happened to you?" She asks. It almost looks as if he was beaten by a sapling, or pool cue or something, with a large bruise forming diagonally across the left side of his ribs.

       "Why don't you just talk to Lucy." Michael walks away, a bit brusquely, and goes to find his phone.

       "Alright. Lucy, is it?" Officer Braxton walks over to her. "Are you okay?"

       "Oh, I'm fine." She shrugs, forcing herself to sit up, "This has all just been a big misunderstanding." 

       Michael's actually impressed at the tale, Lucifer spins. The fact that he uses nothing but what is arguably completely true to paint a completely false story is nothing short of impressive, but also a bit daunting.  And yet, it also conveys the truth slightly more than anything else they could say right now. The literal truth isn't an option as it would only lead to further misconceptions. The whole truth is wholely unbelievable and has to be kept concealed for a variety of reasons.

        "And you're sure you don't need to go to the doctor?" The officer frowns. Lucifer shakes his head and walks her to the door.

          "It's fine. April's a medic, so, if I did, she'd know. It was just an overreaction, thats all. You know Mrs. Hanlon has this grudge against my sister. And I didn't get a chance to really talk to Denny. I guess I can understand why she freaked out."

          "No. I understand. Trust me. I'm so sorry to disturb you both, but we have to check these things out you understand?" She apologizes to Michael, who walks back over when they reach the door. 

           "No, I apologize for my rudeness." Lucifer's not entirely sure he likes Michael's tone, all unneccesarily soft and freindly. "You're doing exactly what you should be and I'm glad to know that if something did happen to my loved ones, it would be adressed so promptly. People just ignored the mistreatment of children for so long and its wonderful thats no longer the case. Thank you for coming out." Officer Freindly blushes so hard Lucifers surprised she doesn't faint and nods.  "Give your brother my regards."

         "Of course." She smiles, walking back towards the squad car. Michael closes the door. 

          "I see your back doesn't hurt too bad..."he barely catches Lucifer as his legs crumple, his brother no longer able to ignore the pain of movement, or even standing. He quickly places him back on the couch in the same position he was previously placed in, flat on his back with his knees up, supported by the cushions. "Try not to move again. I'll take care of everything until Raphael comes back."

        "Okay."

 

         "She still won't talk to you?" Michael asks as Lucifer ends the attempted call. Denny wont even pick up the phone.

          "It doesn't matter." Lucifer lies, as its the fifteenth time he's tried to call that day. "One ape is the same as any other. It's a pain breaking them in though."

           "Just one?"

           "Brett has assured me that he would never abandon me in my time of need. Unfortunately his mother is convinced you're a violent psychopath and forbidden her children from going near you, so until Raphael gets his negligent ass back here, I'm afraid its just the two of us."

            "Raphael is not negligent. Its not his job to clean up our messes." Michael defends his brother, despite the fact that his bruised ribs leave him as irritated as he is concerned for the angel. Apart from breif instructions on caring for his and Lucifer's injuries, he's heard nothing from Raphael for four days. Gabriel hasn't either.

            "He's a healer. Healing us is exactly his damn job. Its the whole reason he was created and the only fucking thing the least worthwhile about him at all. " Intense pain hasn't done much to help Lucifer filter his thoughts and opinions. Of course, Michael's doesnt do much to make him a ray of sunshine either, so he just tries to ignore him. When he can.

          "Raphael is a kind, loyal, steadfast, dependable angel. Just because he's not falling all over himself to cater to your every need, doesnt mean you can just dismiss him out of hand."

         "I'm fairly sure it does. And he doesnt seem to be falling all over himself for you anymore either. You know i used to think he just liked you best, but now that you've declawed yourself, he's not quite so dependable is he?" Lucifer adjusts the pillows under his knees as best he can without moving his back. Michael looks back from the empty fridge, and shuts the door.

        "What are you saying? That Raphael only stood by me because what? He was afraid of me?"

         "You are overly violent and you don't exactly take criticism well, Michael."

         "I don't need to hear that from you of all people." Michael grabs the flyer from off the fridge and takes out his phone. 

        "Doesn't make it any less true."

        "I love you so I'm going to refrain from starting that particular fight again."

         "Yes, I can still feel your 'love' burning through my spine."

          "Hello? Yes, I'd like to order a large Meat lovers and the Lucy special."

          "We are not eating more pizza! We have had nothing but pizza for three days."

          "Its the only place that delivers and you wont eat any of their other items. You know we're out of everything else. Yes... yes, please. Michael Angelo. That's right. Thank you." he hangs up. "And I can't leave you alone in your condition so its not as if I can go to the grocery store."

        "Well, I guess you wont be participating in that auction this weekend after all." He assumes reasonably but sounds so smug and self satisfied that Michael enthusiatically disabuses him.

        "I'll hire a babysitter."

        "Excuse me?" Lucifer tries to sit up but lays right back down as his back violently protests the movement. 

        "If you think making me cripple you in self defense would change my mind, you'd better think again. I'm doing it if I have to handcuff you to the towel rack above the toilet and leave you there." The comment indicates too much active planning for Lucifer's liking so he keeps quiet.

          Talking hurts too much at the moment anyway. Doing anything hurts, though he can get up without passing out now if he absolutely has to. Which finally means bathing without assistance. Not that he would mind if he wasn't in constant pain, but he is. He is, though, incredibly thankful for the subtlety of the female body. Being male would have made it even more akward and uncomfortable than it was already.  

       He also wasnt aware of how many of his casual natural movements utilized his back muscles until it hurt like hell. This is worse than the morning after that long run into the forest when it felt like his entire lower body was going to fall off, and then he just wished it would. Why would anyone become human voluntarily?

        And why hasn't Michael gone running to take his grace back? He obviously hurts a great deal. How much human experience does he need before he decides its not worth it? Did he really mean it when he said he'd stay human as long as Lucifer was. 

        Where the hell is that useless brat Raphael?

          

         Castiel looks across the frozen surface of Callisto. Its odd to think that Raphael would come to a moon half made of ice, frozen lifeless and barren, but Gabriel said this is where he'd most likely be. She would know best. Sure enough after hours of searching he spots him, reclining in Valhalla, the moons largest crater underneath a half circle dome sheilding him from an aerial view.

       "Michael made this moon you know."  Raphael says as his younger brother approaches, not even looking back. "He formed it out of leftover peices of gas and dust from the ring around Jupiter. He made it for Gabriel and I to sit on when he found out we sometimes came together to the ring to relax together.

       "Its more solid and harder to fall off of. Its out of reach of too much gravitational pull and is mostly solid so its not as distractingly tumultuous as alot of planets. The ice catches and breaks the light to make it easier for her to practice her constructs. Back then, they were nothing compared to what they are now, but it was incredible at the time, second only to Lucifers. 

        "It was always just the two of us, usually here. We could both fit so easily. Which makes it especially odd that she would send you, of all angels, to our sanctuary."

        "If she could come herself, she wouldn't have. I wasnt exactly eager to come. If anyone else could have, I wouldnt have."

         "Every other angel knows better. She needn't worry though. Lucifer will be effectively incapacitated for at least two weeks more and I should be returning before that." Raphael still doesnt look at him, but neither is he trying to punish him for the intrusion either.

       "She's more concerned about you. As is Michael. You've never abandoned your duties before, even just self assigned ones." Castiel says cautiously. 

          "That's not true. I have. But now, I'm merely taking a break. I've reached my limit cleaning up after those three. They can deal with the consequences of their actions for a short while. I healed all but muscle damage, anyhow. Who knows maybe they'll think before starting another fight if they know they'll have to deal with the aftermath." Raphael doesn't sound at all hopeful, though.

         "You didn't have to leave in order not to heal them, though. You also could have come to us at the bunker. You're our brother. You'd be welcome."

         "Be that as it may, I'm not particularly fond of the three of you so I don't see why I would. And being around people I care for when they're in great pain without desperately wanting to heal them is a little beyond my abilities at the moment. So yes, I did have to leave. I'm not heartless even if you think I am."

         "I don't." But Raphael doesnt seem to take notice.

         "Its hard being around them harming others as well. I don't care if Michael almost always wins. I don't even care that it's Lucifer he defeats. Michael gets... cruel. Its as if all the pain and hurt and rage he locks inside just gets focused onto one thing, enemy, and he'll try to crush it without mercy, even when that 'enemy' is what he considers the dearest object in all of creation. Its his own peice of the darkness thats inescapably embedded in everything in existence."

           Castiel doesn't say anything. He can't argue and it's never a good idea to criticize Michael around Raphael. It's doubtful it would be safe to do so even when he himself is complaining. Lucifer was the same way, even after years in the cage. Granted Raphael has always been less violent than his brother, but given Castiel's history with either archangel, the difference is negligable at best.

            "If there's anything I can do to help you with any of this, tell me and if I can I will." Castiel offers. While it is the only thing he can think of to say, it is genuinely meant. Raphael looks up at him, eyebrow raised.

           "I didnt realize that was our relationship now." he says dryly. A fair statement. At best they've been ignoring each other since his return, acting as if they were strangers who hadnt once killed each other and engaged the heavens in a massive bloody civil war.

          "It is if you want it to be."

          "Where was this willingness to help when I was trying to rescue Michael from the cage?" Raphael snaps.

          "If you had said that's what you really wanted, I would have helped you. But you held up the banner of the apocalypse and I had given everything I had to prevent it."

           "What else could I do? The only angels willing to help were in favor of persuing paradise. If I had said no apocalypse, but lets risk letting Lucifer lose anyway just so we can get Michael back, I would have had no support. Dont tell me I would have had yours. You wouldnt have risked it either, not for me. What faith or trust did you have left for me at that point?Not for Michael, either. When you went after Sam you didn't even spare him a thought. Even when Lucifer was dead, did you seriously consider freeing him?"

        "Maybe not, but would any sane angel have rushed to free him after having killed his dearest most trusted companion? At the very least if you think I would have chosen civil war over merely attempting to save Michael from the cage, you're wrong. We can talk about what could have been until the universe collapses in on itself, and still none of it could be undone, but I'm here now and offering to help my brother with his problems, whatever they may be." Castiel holds out his hand to him.

          Raphael looks at his younger sibling in silence for the longest time. The late flyer, reluctant fighter, angel of sorrow and tears, savior and sheild of angels and men, who rose and fell and rose again even higher, made equal to them in power and strength, or at least potential. Always loving his brothers, humanity, but difficult and questioning, rebellious despite that, or maybe because of it. This constant irritation that has become largely regarded as the shining incandescent black pearl of heaven. His student, his opponent, offering to just be brothers again, more so then they ever truly were.

       There's no reason to refuse but resentment, pride. It stings, the thought of help from this one. The thought of being less than him, of having been wrong to such an enormous degree is so very painful and inescapable. Why would Gabriel send him this reminder of all his massive failures and misjudgements? Castiel is the living proof of his own inadequacy. And here he stands in Raphael's sanctuary from an overwhelming burden, offering to help. It stings, yet also makes him ache.

       Raphael looks back to Jupiter, the red storm on its surface appropriate to the war raging inside him. Pride, anger, frustration, lonliness, hopelessness, futility, exhaustion all fighting the inability to just step aside or step down though you see all your desires either slowly dying in front of you or turning into nightmares you never wanted in all your days, still unable to get off of this runaway train though you see the abyss looming before you.

         And still Castiel holds out his hand.

         So he takes it.

 

      There's a knocking on the door, waking Lucy from her light doze. Michael is sleeping much more deeply in the recliner. It's probably the pizza and she's not waking Michael for that

      "The door is open, "She calls, "The money's on the table." The door opens about the same time she can hear a car drive off.

       "Hi," A sheepish looking Denny peer in, holding the pizzas in one hand. "We already covered it. Can we come in?" Lucy gives a wide almost grateful smile and nods, so she and Brett come in, pizza in hand and a bag of chips and soda as well. Its even the blue sky organic soda she likes.

        "Your mother knows you're here?" Though Lucy clearly knows the answer to that if the twinkle in her eye is any indication.

        "Oh, hell no. I'm supposed to be at this PSAT prep thing and Brett's just being bad." Denny places the pizza down on the coffee table and looks over to Michael, who still hasn't woken. "Is he alright?"

         "He should be. " Lucy frowns. "He's just really tired. I think he forgets he needs to sleep until his body forces the issue." Brett picks up a pill bottle from the coffee table. "Gabrielle had us mailed some pain killers and stuff. He had some, but I'm not inclined to trust pharmacuetical companies so I'm waiting to see how he takes to it."

          "Mersyndol." Denny takes it  "Oh, he's down for the count. How are you? Are you alright?"

         "I'm fine so long as I don't move.  I can only assume there's nothing seriously wrong me or Michael as our sister vanished a week ago and hasn't been back since. " Lucy scowls. Denny's eyes widen at this. She can only assume?

          "They didnt take you to a doctor?" Brett frowns.

           "There's not really a point. April takes care of that. Or she's supposed to. Forgive me if I don't get up. My back's not so great." She looks so annoyed but more, the maid folded the sheets wrong annoyed than I'm in crippling pain and my sister abandoned me annoyed as any reasonable person would be right now.

           "April's a doctor?" Denny decides to tackle one issue at a time.

            "She's the greatest healer in all of existence." Lucy replies in her typical grandiose yet matter of fact way. "She's the family physician. So," she gives Denny an accusatory pout, co-opting the conversation, "You decided to stop ignoring me I see." Denny blushes and looks down at her hands.

         "I'm sorry. That whole thing kind of freaked me out. I mean I know what you told Officer Braxton, but we saw you fighting, the whole thing and it was just so..." Denny shakes her head, at a complete loss for words.

         "Pathetic, I know," Lucy seethes, "Both handicapped and I don't even last five minutes. Why is you two are somehow privy to see my most humiliating experiences?"

         "What?" Denny blinks. Brett just stays silent, turning the bottle in his hands. "I was going to say terrifying. Was... was it really just training? it looked like you were arguing before hand."

        "We always argue. And we certainly weren't trying to kill each other. Michael's been training me since I could walk. We've both been out of commission for a while and out of practice though. I can usually hold my own for alot longer. I've even won sometimes."

         "No, it's okay, really," Brett pats her hand. "It happens to everybody," Lucy just shoots him a glare at the ridiculously phallic joke. He's started sneaking in dirty jokes and double entendres when he thinks she won't notice.

        "Really its my own fault. He taught me how to fall ages ago and I completely failed to do so. It was beyond embarrassing." And she actually truly looks embarrassed too, which is the oddest thing.

        "Lucy." Denny kneels down beside her. "You know you can trust me, right?" She looks back to the unconscious Michael, just to make sure he's not awake. "Are you... are you and your siblings spies?" Brett covers his eyes. She asked it, she really asked. Lucy can't just be an army brat or something, no she has to be a spy. "You know, secret agents, undercover. that sort of thing."

      "No." Lucy gets an amused grin. "Not exactly. Do you really want the truth?" Brett gives Lucy a look, begging her not to encourage Denny. She just winks at him.

      "Of course." Denny nods, unaware of just how much she's about to be screwed with.

      "We're not spies, but we are undercover. We're actually angels. Michael, Gabrielle, April," Lucy lifts and jangles her necklace. "We've taken human form and my siblings are my siblings but also my parole officers. I'm afraid I've been a bad little girl." She has a laughing smile, clearly not even caring if Denny buys it or not.

      "You are such an asshole." Denny punches her arm, making Lucy wince and make a pained noise when she moves. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot."

     "You said you wanted the truth."

     "You and your sister are the worst liars, I swear to god." Denny rolls her eyes.

      "Excuse you, I am an excellent liar." Lucy says in mock offense. "I practically invented lies."

       "Excuse you, but no. There's no St. April, I doubt St. Gabriel the archangel would come transgender and as an amputee, and even if angels did exist, fallen angels don't get placed on probation, they're damned for all eternity."

       "Do you want proof?" Brett doesn't like the look in Lucy's eye.

       "Oh, please, yes, Give me proof you and your siblings are angels."

       "Take off your shirt and turn around." 

        "What? Why?" Denny frowns.

        "You're not taking your clothes off again. Mom already thinks her brother is a pervert. I'll do it." Brett steps forwards and takes his shirt off.

           "What are you going to do?" Denny eyes them suspiciously.

           "I'm going to use your life force to heal my back." Lucy takes out a small knife from the cushions. Who keeps a knife in the sofa? She pricks the tip of her finger with it. "Or more accurately, you're going to give it to me. It's a fairly simple spell, just a blood sigil really, but it does require a soul, so you have to cast it."

        "Right, because you're an angel and angels don't have souls." Denny ventures skeptically, arms crossed.

          "How do I cast it?" Brett asks and feels a symbol traced on his back with what must the blood of her pricked finger. He feels oddly excited. It can't possibly be real, but...

         "Just say EN MALPIRGI ADAGITA ELASA and touch the center of my forhead, like so." She holds up two fingers and reaches out to touch Denny's forhead. Brett does the same.

      "With just a slight prick first, of course." Lucy takes his hand and pricks the tips, squeezing them to get out a couple drops. Denny's arms slowly start to uncross. This is a joke right? This can't be an actual spell. Lucy just looks so intensely focused right now.

         "Okay?"

         "EN MALPIRGI" Lucy prompts

         "E...en malpirgi..." Brett starts. Denny holds her breath.

         "ADAGITA ELASA."

         "Adagita elasa." And he reluctantly touches her forhead. Nothing happens. For a breif moment Lucy looks confused, then she smiles sweetly at the twins.

         "I am an excellent liar." But Brett feels a breif chill of fear and heads to the bathroom to clean up and maybe throw up.

           "You didn't fool me," Denny says pnot the least convincingly and licks her thumb, wiping the blood from Lucy's forhead.

          "I must be loosing my touch." Lucy grins at her. "Though I am glad you're here, Denny. I need your help. Badly."

           "Oh?"

          "You need to help me buy Michael in the Fireman's charity auction this weekend, before some idle suburban hussy can get her claws into him."

       

 

          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didnt seriously expect Lucifer to just suffer through weeks of back pain if any other option presented itself, did you? Even if he does kind of like Denny and Brett even a little, he's doesnt like them more than he does himself. He is the devil after all. That said I am still kind of disappointed with him.
> 
> Reminder Brett doesnt have his soul. Its in Denny. Thus failure.


	23. Angel for Sale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael returns.
> 
> Michael participates in the annual fireman's bachelor auction.
> 
> Lucifer takes steps to keep Michael out of the hands of the town's undeserving single population.
> 
> Gabriel has a breif cameo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So its taking a bit longer to get to the real drama than I anticipated. As long as everyone's enjoying themselves, though, thats fine. The archangels are being difficult, but thats kind of to be expected. I honestly expected the twins to be well out of the fray well before this, at least for temporarily but Luci just wont let them go.

    "I don't think you understand how much pain i'm in." Lucifer's angry voice snaps Michael back into awareness. He fell asleep. How did he fall asleep? He'd ordered pizza, taken a couple of those pain management pills Gabriel had sent and sat down a minute to wait. And now this.

       "I dont think you understand how little I care,"Raphael is back, and clearly furious.

       "Given you left me to suffer, I think I do."

       "If you ever attempt anything like that again, I will inflict more pain on you than you can possibly imagine." Raphael threatens, leaning over the prone girlish form in an intimidating manner. Michael straightens up, but has to pause as it pulls at the muscles around his somehow even more strongly hurting ribs. "Michael," Raphael greets him, walking quickly over to him, instantly erasing the damage with a touch. The change in sensation feels so good, Michael can only give a sigh and bask in the absolute comfort of a whole healthy body for several seconds.

        "Thank you." He gets to his feet and stretches, reveling in the complete lack of pain and discomfort.

        "I shouldn't have left." Raphael apologizes. "You're both too new to these bodies to understand their proper care and I never should have made you chaperone Lucifer while so injured, regardless of how badly he was hurt. This is especially obvious given as you both managed to turn fairly basic deep tissue contusions into severe muscle strain in my absence. Did you follow any of my instructions? Or did Lucifer start yet another fight?"

       "Exactly how do you expect me to start a fight in this condition."

       "You can still talk, can't you?"

       "Are you going to keep making smart remarks or are you going to do your job and heal me?" Lucifer demands. Raphael turns back to look at him a moment, then places the flat of his palm on his brothers head. Lucifer turns pale, arching his back almost convulsively.

        "Raphael!" Michael barks. He lets go, leaving his brother gasping for breath, half curled in the fetal position on the couch.

        "Healing neither has to be instantaneous nor pleasant. Remember that, brother." Raphael says coldly. "Do not ever attempt to do anything like that again."

        "Outside! Now." Michael angrily points to the cottage door. Raphael looks almost defiant for a moment, but bows his head at his elder siblings stern look and walks out the door. "We'll be right back."

        "Don't hurry."

        "What the hell was that?" Michael demands as they reach the unfinished chicken coop. His little brother just looks away. "Raphael. Explain yourself." He looks briefly at the sky for a moment before barely meeting Michael's gaze.

        "While you were unconscious..." he starts reluctantly. "The twins stopped by. Lucifer attempted to steal thirty years of Brett Hanlon's natural lifespan to heal his back. Fortunately the spell requires the use of a soul, so he chose the wrong twin to trick. I looked in on you just as it was happening and took the twins back almost immediately after. We need to do something about this. I can't just stand by and let him play his games with these children any longer. I'm going to tell them the truth and try and convince Denise to let me put her brother's soul back into his body. And maybe I can do something for her poor mutilated body."

         Michael's stomach twists at the thought, that Lucifer could have done this right next to him and he never would have known. How could he have fallen asleep? And so deeply as to not even notice anything around him. Being human is so much more difficult than he anticipated. And his failure to handle it's burdens nearly cost a human boy half his life span.

         "Michael?" Raphael frowns as his brother just covers his mouth with one hand. "If you were sleeping that deeply, your body clearly required it. That medication in your system may have facilitated it, but you can't blame yourself for this."

         "Lucifer is my responsibility. Of course I'm to blame. In regards to the twins, I don't know what to say.  Do you really want to pull them further into this world than they are already? That's if they even believe you. Not that I'm not saying you couldn't prove what you are, but the twins don't care for the three of us all that much. I'm not sure it would keep them away from him. I just have to keep a better eye on him in the future." Michael does make some good points, but is it really better to let them be completely unawares?

         "Maybe they won't believe me, but if they condemn themselves, it shouldn't be through ignorance. They're innocents who have drawn Lucifer's attention. They should know who they're dealing with. If they still choose to continue their association despite my best efforts, then so be it. I won't be complicit in his deception."

         "I understand." Michael sighs. "Clearly their companionship isn't as helpful as Gabriel believed it would be. I know she wouldn't want anything to happen to them."

         "None of this is as helpful as she believed. At best, he's just contained. Lucifer will never be anything other than what he's become, Michael. Why should he be? What reason does he have to change? What does he gain by it? And even if he did somehow manage to become what he once was, how could he ever bear the knowledge of all he's done? How could anyone?"

          This question strikes home in a way nothing else Raphael has had to say could. How could any right thinking angel bear up under the weight of such horrific actions. Even those he knows to have been the best choices he knew to make at the time, have started haunting his dreams. For Lucifer to see the truth of all the torment and destruction he's rained upon the world since the eighth day, on not just humanity but his brothers as well... It would have been kinder to leave him dead.

           Whether they succeed or fail, what does he have left for him but torment?

           The sweet sound of the violin pierces the air. Nothing else Michael has heard or seen so far has come close to the true beauty of the Morning Star like the hum of it's strings in expert hands. As lovely and heartrending as it's abuse and mistreatment renders piercing and painful to the ear.

           "He can bear it by doing good, Raphael. He can do more good than he ever did evil. We have eternity; he'll have the time to make it up. If he can become who he truly was meant to be, he can. And whatever he has to bear, he won't bear it alone. Letting him take on his burden alone in the first place was my greatest sin." 

           Raphael just sighs at this passionate declaration. It's meant now and after, but he's clearly caught in the beauty of the notes coming out to them.

           "That's incredibly romantic, Michael, but you two still argue and you still fight and I doubt that beating him to a pulp or letting him beat you every time things get intense is going to help with any of that in any way. When he pushes you, you don't have to push back, and you don't have to stay here for his abuse. That's not going to help him either."

            "What else can I do? And I'm not trying to be romantic. You and Gabriel need to drop that. Immediately." Michael snaps, not focusing on the truly relevant points, yet again. "Even I know that physical attraction is meaningless and merely the result of chemical compatibility. It's solely the domain of the body and it's innate compulsion to continue the species. Our cherubs manipulate it all the time." Raphael just raises an eyebrow at this and all that it implies.

            "If it's any consolation, by altering the y chromosome she's biologically more Campbell than even remotely Winchester. Which probably explains the attraction in truth." Raphael rubs the back of his neck.

             "Raph."

             "I probably should have thought about that when making him. But then I didn't exactly expect you to become human at the time either. "

             "Not even remotely helpful, Raphael."

             "Maybe you just need to meet more people. Is it just women or men and intersex as well?"

             "It seems to be just women, but I really can't say I wouldn't be attracted to anyone else until I've met them, I suppose. There will be plenty at the auction though. I was considering asking Officer Braxton on an outing but since we did meet when she was investigating allegations of child abuse, I'm not entirely sure it's appropriate. And I may have greeted her by suggesting she was a stripper." This last reluctantly divulged piece of information makes it impossible for Raphael to repress a smile, even if he does hold back his laughter. Michael's awkward shuffle at the memory doesn't help any.

             "What, um, what auction?" He clears his throat.

            "The fire station does a bachelor auction every year to raise funds for both the station and a charity to be chosen by the man who received the highest bid. Since I'm not married, they asked me to participate."

            "Participate as in be put up for auction?" Raphael clarifies. It's the most reasonable assumption, but he still feels reluctant to think of Michael volunteering for something like that.

            "It's just for one afternoon."

            "I didn't realize prostitution was legal in this state. Or does it fall under the same grey area as pornography because it's for charity? Like gambling." This legitimate question earns him a dark look from his brother.

            "Not every human interaction involves sex, Raphael." He says a bit indignantly. Obviously they have not been observing the same planet. Then again, Michael did largely ignore everything he wasn't forced to intervene in, which was usually more about violence. "All that's up for bid is a few hours of our company, a date or even just assistance with chores. We have to include a list of our skills and talents with our profile. Like auto repair or carpentry."

            "That should be interesting."

            "Unfortunately I'm not the least mechanically inclined. I seem to have a talent for breaking electronics regardless of my strength, but that's not exactly biddable. My combat skills are irrelevant and I can't cook either. I have no idea how to have any sort of human conversation and I neither play an instrument or sing well enough to offer. How am I with the garden?" He looks hopefully to his brother who just shakes his head with an apologetic smile. "I could build a chicken coop if given the plans. This one is Lucifer's design and he hasn't told me how it's supposed to be yet. Maybe I could teach basic weapon handling or unarmed combat in the future, but I have to get used to fighting without wings before I do that."

            "And getting used to fighting in a fragile easily breakable human body and not an infinitely more durable angelic one. And against one besides. A lot of human combat now a days is not meant to utterly destroy the opponent. It's also been a very long time since you instructed anyone in basic combat." Raphael remind him.

           "Well, Joan..." Michael reluctantly reminds him, though the memory is fairly painful.

           "Yes, but she was a natural and I know she let you use her as a vessel for a few battles so she really doesn't count."

          "She was exceptionally skilled." Michael admits, his very mild crush still showing. "Honestly, outside of combat I have no real experience or skill in anything. For that alone I wouldnt feel comfortable offering my body to bid, if it was what you think. It's still just a woman's first sexual experience thats considered of great value, correct?" Michael asks innocently.

         "Generally, yes." Raphael looks away, though its incredibly likely that in Michael's case it would be different. "You can't... Michael you really can't make observations and comments like that. It kind of has implications your not intending to convey."

          "What do you mean?"

          "I mean what you just said would imply that you were actually considering offering your virginity up for auction."

          "How on earth would it imply that? I specifically said I wouldnt." Michael sounds a bit offended,

          "It... That's just how the human mind works." How do you even explain that sort of thing. Gabriel would know, but the thought of having her explain the nuances of human sexuality and its expression to Michael is terrifying.

         "And yours apparently." Is the entirely unneccesary reply. Just because of his unique experiences with Meli doesnt mean he deserved that kind of remark.

         "Anyone with the least exposure to the culture at all would make that inference, Michael." Raphael shoots back. "I know its complicated. And it all changes meaning based on how you say it and who you say it to."

           "Well, I was saying it to you, who should know better."

             "I did, you just tend to ... wait, does Lucifer know about this?" the horrifying thought occurs to him.

           "What do you think we were arguing about? And have been arguing about this entire week." He sounds merely annoyed and not nearly as concerned as any right thinking person should be.

           "Oh for the love of all that is, no wonder he tried to stab you. I'm not excusing it, but he launched a full scale rebellion against god and heaven just because he was asked to bow to humanity and you go and tell him you're going to sell yourself to one? I take back my indignation regarding what you did to his back as he was clearly trying to kill you."

            "No he wasn't."

            "If that's true then he's come much farther than I ever could have expected. Maybe I shouldn't have healed his back though." Raphael frowns, looking back to the cottage. "When is the auction?"

           "Friday evening at the high school auditorium."

           "You should probably go stay at a hotel in town until then. I'll keep Lucifer at the cottage. Do you have your keys? Wallet?" 

          "No, they're inside."

          "I'll get them for you."

           "I think you're over reacting but I could use a break. There's no food in the house though. So you'll need the car."

           "I'll take care of it." Raphael goes back into the house.

          "..at least five thousand."He hears as he approaches the cottage. Lucifer is standing at his music stand, violin in hand, talking at what he can only assume is his phone on speaker.

          "Thats kind of alot, Luce." Oh, its Gabriel.

          "I'm not taking any chances and doubt he'll go for that much less."

          "Dont give him anything, he tried to kill Brett Hanlon less than an hour ago." Raphael informs her. Where does Michael keep his keys? The wallets on the table.

         "Did he get too handsy?" Of course, she wouldnt take this seriously.

         "I did not try to kill him. I only tried to heal my back because Raphael is a sulky negligent selfish brat of surprising cruelty." the hypocrite accuses him.

         "At the expense of thirty years of his life." Raphael explains.

          "Trying to cause a premature death counts as attempted murder, even if it wasnt the primary goal. Sorry, luci. I'm cutting off your allowance. If you want it back, you'll have to donate blood at least five times. or an organ. But I'll make you a deal about this one request. I'll deposit the money, and take back whatevers not used for it immediately after, in exchange for your playing me a song."

         "What song?" Lucifer asks suspiciously.

         "Oh, I think you know." comes the gleeful reply. Raphael finally finds the keys. How did they get in the medicine cabinet? He takes them out to Michael. 

         "Just buy some more clothes, you need some anyhow." Raphael hands them to him. 

          "You sure your alright staying here with Lucifer?" 

          "I'll be fine. I make no promises about him." Raphael goes back into the house as his brother starts playing an oddly familiar tune.

          "You have to sing it, too." Gabriel's chipper voice rings out.

          "Gabriel, I am already going to have to  torture and possibly mutilate Raphael at some point, please don't make me add you to the list."

           "You're not required to do this, but its not worth $5000 if you don't. barely even fifty really. You don't need it that much, i guess."

         "Alright, dammit, you impudent little shit. Fine."

         "From the top." This earns the phone a glare that should encase it in a block of ice, and Lucifer starts over. What song could Gabriel possibly consider worth five thousand of anything?

        "Oh, the devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal." 

        Raphael bursts out laughing and quickly leaves the room before Lucifer can ruin the music stand by throwing it at him.

         

      "I dont see why you won't bid. It is for charity." Lucifer snaps, not quite a plea for assistance, as they wait for Michael's turn to come up in the auction.

         "I'm matching the winning bid on behalf of the charity."He replies. In truth he doesnt exactly like the idea himself. Regardless of his current position Michael once ruled Heaven itself and sacrificed what he held most dear for the sake of all existence. Being auctioned off like an old chair is most decidedly beneath him, even if it is just for an afternoon. But Michael doesnt agree, its for a good cause, and more importantly with everything Gabriel's done and is most likely doing as they speak, it'd be fairly unreasonable to try and deny him this fairly innocuous experience.

        The fact that its driving Lucifer out of his mind in what can only be described as a jealous rage is just an added perk. Honestly, watching him plotting with Denny has been incredibly entertaining. Especially that last minute failure. Its hard to see why he thought they'd let a dozen teenage girls purchase him for an afternoon if they wouldnt let one. Even the devils silver tongue couldnt make a grown man take a young girl seriously enough to bend rules set in place for her own protection. 

        Asking for the sake of dancing lessons was a brilliant idea though. Michael is by far the best dancer beside Lucifer. And the whole town heard about the scene at the school dance. Some of it might be on youtube. But the most admittedly impressive thing about it was that by making the request, if it worked it would have taken the inherent sexual implications out of the bid and transferred the power from bidder to biddee. 

           Instead of purchasing a servant or object to display at their side or attempt to seduce, they would be paying tribute, vying for the opportunity to learn from a master. Granted either Lucifer or Gabriel could have gone up on that stage and taken complete control of the situation, but Michael is hopelessly inexperienced in matters of seduction. 

          "You are abandoning him to the mercy of these depraved creatures. You know that." Raphel just ignores him. "I wont forget this." Lucifer walks off, likely to try and talk to the person in charge again. 

          "Ms. Akupara. I'm surprised to see you here." Mr Edwards, now deprived of his bushy mustache and looking all the better for it, walks over to annoy him once again.

          "I'm here because my siblings are, not to either bid or make idle conversation with forward reprobates."

            "Listen, I'd like to apologize." A surprising turn of events. He even actually sounds sincere. "Luci explained to me about your husband Nick. It's rare to see such utter devotion in a woman. Love like that should be respected and I didn't mean to intrude on your greif or pay any disrespect to his memory." What the hell did that little shit tell him? But if it means he's backing off, it doesnt really matter.

        "I accept your apology and trust you'll behave a bit more respectfully in the future." it irks him to think said respect would be because of deceased or absent husbands sake and not his own, but Raphael will take what he can get. He looks around but can't see Lucifer. "If you'll excuse me, I have to find my sister before she does soemthing unfortunate, such as set the school on fire." Mr. Edwards laughs as if he thinks Raphael is joking.

         "I'm sure she's just off with that boyfreind of hers. Young love, what can you do?" He shakes is head. Raphael makes no effort to conceal how he feels about that statement, and turns to leave."It does make my heart sore to see such a lovely young woman so alone and unappreciated."

         He catches hold of Raphael's hand with both of his firmly enough that extracting it descreetly would be impossible. He does not acknowledge Raphael's threatening glare. The angel is forced to remind himself not to crush the man into a pulp. There are witnesses. Michael might be displeased. And worst of all the man may end up in heaven. 

         "As a widower myself." the man continues obliviously," I understand the long lonely nights and while I understand there's not yet room in your heart, I am more than willing to..." but before he can finish Lucifer dumps a small cup of liquid on the crotch of his pants. Mr. Edwards jumps back, releasing Raphaels hand.

        "Oh dear, how clumsy of me." He says sweetly, neither fooling nor intending to fool anyone.

         "You should take care of that before you're up to bid." Raphael comments quickly leading his brother away from the men. He resists the urge to thank his brother for his interference and instead checks the area for any budding flames.

       "The situation with Michael is taken care of, no thanks to you. Denny came through." Lucifer takes a sip from the remaining cup,

        "How?"

         "She convinced her mother to place the bid for and chaperone the lessons. I just have to break things off with Brett. Which is such an incredible hardship."He rolls his eyes." She'll regret it when I start sleeping with Denny." As Raphael will never let that happen, he ignores the comment.

             
         "She'll still have to win the bidding."

         "She has five thousand dollars to bid with. I doubt it'll be an issue."

          "Our next bachelor is town newcomer, Michael Angelo." the auctioneer announces. Raphael and Lucifer both look up to the stage. Michael steps forwards, giving the man a nod. Their brother just stands in the middle of the stage, looking for all the world as if he's about to conduct a drill. His tshirt and jeans are in start contrast to the nice suits and loud clothes of most of the other bachelors, but he still looks far more regal and imposing.

        "Michael is the newest recruit to our little volunteer fire department. He lives with his three sisters and I'm sure we all remember his role in evacuating the hotel in that terrible fire up in Nebraska. His hobbies include stargazing and seeking out new experiences." Raphael can detect Gabriel's input on that one. "While he has few non military related skills, he is willing to assist you in whatever way he can." 

        Raphael appreciates the lacivious way this is said as little as his sibling seem to. Indeed, the absolute withering look Michael gives the man makes him take a moment to clear his throat before continuing and he skips the request to 'let the ladies have a better look' he gave to the other biddees. He also skips the 'ladies only caveat' most of the other bachelors had.

         The bidding takes off fairly quickly and Michael is fairly unconcerned by it, until Mrs. Hanlon starts to bid. He does seem to deduce fairly quickly that Lucifer was involved in that, likely thanks his brothers amused grin. Though an attractive young man seems equally adamant about winning, driving the sum up over a thousand dollars.

        "Five thousand dollars." Mrs. Hanlon declares in irritation, just wanting to get the ridiculous affair over with and secure her son's freedom, most likely. The entire hall is silent for a breif moment.

       "Sold. To Debra Hanlon for five thousand dollars. But dont despir, Jeff. In the intrests of charity Michael has also agreed to provide the next highest bid with his services for the rest of the evening, if you are so inclined."

       "Hell yes!" The young man exclaims. Lucifer's jaw drops at this and when Michael gives his scheming brother a wink and a smile, storms out of the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'll be taking a break for posting for a few days. Am exhausted and all caught up again. 
> 
> Hope your enjoying this as much as I am. 
> 
> It was kind of hard filling out a profile for Michael, as he kind of didnt have much of a life beyond taking care of his siblings and his duties in heaven. He couldnt exactly put 'smiting evil' in his list of skills or hobbies.


	24. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael visits Alex  
> An emergency arises and a decision must be made about Lucifer
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raphael kind of tends towards the nihilistic in his world view, though I'm sure you've noticed. Gabriel clearly tends towards the hedonistic and uses humor as a coping mechanism. But Michael kind of surprised me by leaning towards romanticism. He was fairly consumed with fatalistic eternalism in the show, but the cage broke him down so completely, that's almost nonexistent anymore. I'm fairly sure the fact that it was a force of love that drove towards his sister's resurrection, and his brothers and also secured his release from the cage that led his passions in that direction, but I'm not entirely sure. The hormonal influence of being human has only really added to that.
> 
> That said, Raphael, though somewhat willing, is an incredibly difficult person to try to council. Especially as he's irritated into a kind of 'marsha, marsha, marsha' mentality with Lucifer about now. Not that I blame him. Luci does tend to take over everything. I kind of feel for Alex. She's doing her best but you can only expect so much success for any human trying to deal with Archangels in any capacity.

 

         Alex stares at the screen. That damn professor with her nonsense assignments. First evaluate with the questionaire, then make an official diagnoses, then a treatment plan. For a fictional character. Why is she even taking this damn course?  She should have taken biology instead. Gotten that degree requirement out of the way, but no she had to take another psychology course.

           And worse yet, she's failed the damn treatment plan assignment, which was troubling in more ways than one. She used Bree's ultimate plan for her brother as the basis, so if that's deemed hopeless, the implications are staggering. Even an impassioned defense that would probably have gotten it approved for a thesis had no effect. Not even just to raise it to a passing grade.

         "Ms. Jones." she looks back at the voice and almost tips the swivel chair over, but Raphael catches it before she can fall.

          "Oh, hello, Raphael." She recovers herself, spinning around to face him properly. "Sorry."

          "Why are you always so surprised to see me?" The woman frowns, seating herself in the nearby arm chair.

          "Are you seriously asking me why I might be continuously surprised to find myself counseling not one but two archangels?" she gives him a look, attempting to deflect the question and takes out her notes.

          "You're never that astonished to see Michael."

          "Well, it's been a few years since I've been seeing him. Besides, he knocks." she reminds him, though it took a few months to get him to do that.

           "My hands are generally full." Raphael nods to the heaping platters of fruit and vegetables on the counter.

           "I wasn't complaining, just explaining." Alex gets up and walks over to take one of the small wild apples. They're always the best. "So, hows tricks?" She takes a bite. Rarely the prettiest ones, but always so incredibly flavorful. She can't eat orchard grown apples now. She's totally ruined for them.

          "Much the same. Lucifer and the chickens are bitter enemies now, so he joins Michael in murdering them and devouring their mutilated corpses."

          "Surely there's a better way to phrase that." Alex can't help but wince at the image it evokes.

          "None nearly as accurate, the way he does it." He shrugs. "He's talking to Gabriel fairly regularly as well, the latest conversation revolving around threatening to paper cut her to death with liberal amounts of salt and lemon juice if she doesn't stop sending him V.C. Andrews novels. Of course he's never required to read them." This gets a laugh out of Alex, as many of Gabriel's antics do. " I have asked her to stop making those kind of jokes as I would really prefer it if Lucifer did not get it into her head to try and seduce Michael now that he's human. I don't actually expect that he would, but then again I didn't exactly expect him to end things with Bret and pursue Denny after the auction, much less get rejected by her yet again."

           "She's still twinless then."

           "And sulking about it, though he won't admit it. I can't really bring myself to believe it's more than not getting his way that bothers him though. Given my presence has been hindering his attempts to effectively seduce and manipulate people, I'm fairly sure that his previous indifference to me has blossomed into outright hatred." Raphael reflects on this for a moment. "It's actually fairly satisfying."

            "I see." Alex gives a kind of half hearted smile at the comment, though the response clearly irritates Raphael.

            "Do you expect me to burst into tears because Satan doesn't like me?" He snaps, in a manner she considers just a bit too defensively.

            "Of course not, but he's still your brother and it can't feel good. Even when you're at odds or don't like them, it has to hurt a little." She shrugs.

            "What doesn't?" Is his dry response. "He and Michael haven't gotten into another physical fight yet, though I'm more surprised at Lucifer not pushing it as far, or as hard. I suppose intense pain is a better teacher than I thought. They do spar, though, which I don't approve of at all. We don't need him to become more lethal than he already is. But it's all just basic unarmed, wingless combat that Michael needs to practice as well. And then they have those dance lessons."

             "Dance lessons?"

             "They're exchanging demonstrations with the dance studio by the pharmacy. One of the girls mothers is the owner of the studio and stayed to watch for the lesson the girls had Mrs. Hanlon bid on him for. "

             "Well, that's good." Alex perks up. "It sounds like Luci is actually doing fairly well."

             "He's biding his time until we make another mistake, that's all. It was like this right before the Garden. We thought he was going to come around, relent and instead the first opportunity he had...." Raphael's face hardens. "He is still the same. All we're doing is waiting for the dam to burst." Alex can feel her heart sink in her chest. It would be easy to dismiss it as just Raphael's pessimistic world view, but her professor said things a lot like it, and she's many things but being overly inclined to look on the down side is not one of them.

             "Bree thinks he just needs to get into new habits. And the longer he goes behaving in acceptable ways, the more they'll become a part of him."

             "Gabriel, is at heart, a generous caring empathetic if excessively self indulgent angel. She can't really understand someone like him as she thinks she does." Raphael sighs. "She believes that deep inside of him Lucifer is the same way. But he's not. The things he's done, she never could."

             "I don't know. From all accounts, she got fairly dark around the time he was caged."

             "Yes, but you see, she's ashamed of it. He never was. She, most times, had over all benevolent or at least semi justified reasons. Gabriel has a heart as golden as the rest of her, no matter how deeply she tried to bury it or how tarnished it got.  Lucifer has no heart. She sees only a twisted reflection of herself, not him. She thinks she can save him, only because she herself was saved."

               "What does that say about you then? Does the fact that you think he can't be saved, mean you think that you can't be?" Alex asks gently, trying to pull the conversation over to him and not his siblings. That's always the biggest problem talking to Raphael, his focus on them. It's worse than with Michael. Michael at least considers himself in relation to them, and focuses on what he should or shouldn't do or have done. Raphael just seems to erase himself from the conversation.

               "All it means is that he doesn't consider me worth manipulating." He says this nonchalantly, but his eyes have that empty look he gets when discussing what have to be painful subjects, or more accurately, refusing to discuss them.  "This is all irrellevant. What I need to know this week is how to... encourage Michael in his chosen lifestyle, I suppose."

              "Oh?"

              "He's becoming frustrated with me and my 'attitude' towards his dating problems." Raphael rolls his eyes. It's true. Michael has mentioned being fed up with all Raphael's smart remarks. "I'm not responsible for public perception, nor this inability to accept either the concept of bisexuality or that of a grown man attempting to explore his own inclinations by dating both genders. I did warn him that it would be assumed that he'd has sexual relations with every single one of them, but he didn't listen."

             "He can be a bit naive at times."

             "He's a romantic, which I'm fairly surprised at. On reflection, I shouldn't be. Michael's always been an angel of deep passions, even if he does work extra hard to contain them. Sometimes I think he believes if he can just love our wayward brother enough, it will fix everything."

             "You, of course, disagree."

             "Lucifer will never love anything more than himself. He'll never value anything more."

             "You know." Alex turns around bringing up the few articles she's found. "There are theories. That these narcissistic, grandiose ideas of self love and self importance held by people like him are just masks. Sutures holding together deep internal wounds. And that in truth, they hate themselves and see themselves as so much less than anything that they can't even function without those masks in place.  But with them, they can't heal either. It's incredibly fascinating stuff. here." She prints them off and hands them over to him.

             "Yes, I'm sure he found being beloved and admired by all of creation so very traumatizing and damaging to his self esteem." But Raphael takes them anyway. "I'm so tired of dealing with Lucifer. Hae was dead and we were free. Why couldn't Gabriel have just let things run their course? We'd have maybe had a few more millenia to just..." Raphael just sighs and half slumps down in the chair, defeated by an overwhelming sense of futility.

             It's one of those moments where Alex really just wishes she could give him a hug. But Raphael does not like to be touched, so she doesn't even give him a pat on the arm. It's something she's curious about and would love to address later but it'll probably take years before he's that comfortable.

           "You sound like you need a vacation."

            "I do. But this is the best I can do. I should return to heaven at some point. I'm getting tired. I've been bending time so much to try and be with both Gabriel and Michael and I just dont have the skill she does. Now I cant even pause it for this single hour. I'm half afraid I'll return to find Lucifer covered in blood and feathers again, or the house burned to the ground."

          "Again?"

          "The first battle in the chicken war was not a decisive victory." Raphael gives a smirk. "Lucifer failed to understand what complete assholes chicken are. I took a picture but devoid of context its actually more terrifying than anything else. If you care to see it just bear in mind he was attacked by over a dozen chickens and slaughtered half."

         "I think i'm okay. But thank you. So you want to be more... supportive of Michael." she turns the conversation back to Raphael, at least as much as she knows he'll let her, For someone who came in voluntarily he can be incredibly uncooperative. Raphael just nods.

       "I'm not sure what he meant by that though. I half suspect he doesnt either. I am supportive. I keep lucifer away from his love intrests, though he hates me calling them that. I ask him how things go but aside from that I'm not really sure what he wants from me," Alex is fairly sure he objects more to the sarcastic tone of voice than anything else. That and he's really not used to his little brother talking back to him in general.

      "It may not be entirely about you, neccesarily. You know you both just kind of need to sit down and talk to each other. I kind of wish the two of you would have a joint session sometime. Maybe it would help having someone there who knows what you both want to say." Alex offers, only slightly hopefully.

        "I'm not really interested in having couples therapy with my big sister." Raphael crosses his arms. The point is clearly not up for debate.

        "Just a suggestion. You're all just really terrible at talking to each other. Even Bree. Not that its ever really easy, but still." Alex sighs absentmindedly rapping her knuckles on the computer desk beside her. "The only one who can tell you what to do for Michael is Michael. Or you, you may already know and just not want to do it. I mean, you do know him better than anyone."

         "I dont... dating, sex, love... I dont.." Raphael tightens his lips. "I dont want any part of it and I wish Michael didn't either."

        Alex waits in sympathetic silence for him to expand on that, but he doesn't. She should have asked a follow up question or reframed his statment. Its so hard to know what to do to get him to open up. Now its just an awkward silence.

         "What are you working on?" Raphael nods to her screen.

         "Nothing, just arguing with my professor over an assignment. I should have at least gotten a D. Of course I did essentially cheat so I should probably let it go."She sighs closing the email.

          "Cheat?"

          "A poor decision I cant exactly undo. I dont know, I just dont know what she wants from me on this."

          "Have you asked her?"

         "No. I probably should, right?"Alex gives him an ironic grin, brushing back her hair. "Do you need any more books? I've asked my professors for reccommendations. Hold on, I put the list somewhere."

         "Yes, thank you." Raphael accepts the small booklet of suggestions. They were very eager to reccommend titles and half of them tried to lend her several they actually had on hand.  She had to explain it was for a freind in another state. All lovely generous people, if a bit overly enthusiastic at times. "How to win freinds and influence people?"

         "Two thirds of the department swear by it."Alex shrugs.

          "The art of war. Thats an interesting choice."

          "My professors are all very unique individuals which is why they're stuck in a community college tormenting me instead of an ivy league school tormenting the rich kids. They're rebels who don't play by the rules and eschew conformity. You can tell because they all act the same way." This gets a grin from him. Which turns into a very solemn mask. "What is it?"

         "I have to go." he states before disappearing.

         "Okay." Alex sighs. At least he said goodbye this time. Hopefully its nothing too serious. Just in case, she takes out her phone and calls Bree.

 

         "Michael." Raphael taps his brother's shoulder, keeping his voice quiet so as not to wake Lucifer, who's sleeping on the couch. Michael looks up from his journal, immediately concerned at the troubled look on his brother's face.

        "What's wrong?" he puts the book aside, getting to his feet.

       "Complications have arisen with Gabriel's situation." Raphael informs him. Michael looks back to Lucifer breifly and motions Raphael to the theater.

       "Is it the usual difficulty?" He asks. Raphael nods.

       "They call it pre-eclampsia now. Plus her diabetes has come back and there was slight tearing of the placenta, away from the uterine wall. that part was easily fixed, but she's been confined to bed rest. They're not insisting she stay in the hospital, likely because of insurance issues but given the circumstances, I need to stay with her until she gives birth. I'll also need to return to heaven to replenish my grace."

        "That's leaves us with a serious problem." Michael frowns. "You need me to take back my grace to guard our brother." he concludes.

       "No. You'd need to return to heaven for weeks just to have the strength to return to and repair your vessel. You'd also have to abandon every freind and occupation you've established here." Raphael shakes his head, though Michael can't see why that should matter in the least.

         "We can't leave him without adequate guard. I can neither stay awake nor stay beside him twenty four hours a day unless I do." Michael sighs. "It's alright. This is important."

        "So are you and your wishes and your welfare. You've sacrificed enough because of our brother. You don't have to do this now." Raphael states firmly, surprising his eldest sibling with hia vehemence.

        "I'm surprised you feel that way." Michael says gently, "I know you dont approve of my current life choices."

        "I don't have to approve of them to respect them. And if I can respect Gabriel's choices, I have no excuae about yours. But I'm not letting you shove everything you are aside because of him. Not again. I will send him back to the abyss before I allow that."

       "That is not an option."

       "Yes, it is. But it's not the only one. There is Castiel." Raphael reluctantly suggests.

       "No. He has no guile. He would never be able to keep concealed what we need to conceal. And further more there's the risk of further triggering seizures."

        "Then, we have to bind him."

        "Thats very dangerous, Raphael,"

       "To who? Lucifer? We should have done this from the begining. And I'd rather leave him utterly defenseless than endanger either you or the population. Besides you're training with him again, despite what  bad idea it is, so he's not completely defenseless." Michael just starts to pace. "Consider it the price of freedoms he hasn't earned yet."

          "We've already taken almost everything from him. Now we're taking away options even humans have."

         "And he was going to use that option to steal the life force of a young boy."Raphael reminds him, "Besides I am probably leaving him his voice." Michael's reproachful look is entirely undeserved. Especially from the angel who was willing at one point to kill their sibling. Granted, the stakes are much higher, but the fact remains.

          "Then we have to speak to him about this first. You're not going to just do it to him without reason or warning, do you understand?" Michael commands. Rapahel crosses his arms and looks to the exit. "Raphael. Look at me." He reluctantly does.

          "I don't see how telling him the truth about Gabriel's situation would induce any less of a meltdown than just skipping the pointless drama and doing what needs to be done." Raphael protests.

         "Obviously we're not going to do that. We're going to say as little as needs to be said to convey the essential truth of the situation. But we are going to tell him first,"

         "As you wish."Raphael sighs and follows him back to the living room, "I still think the abyss is the best option."

         "We will agree to disagree on that point little brother." Michael snaps, kneeling down by the couch. "Lucifer. we need to speak to you." He gently nudges his shoulder. Lucifer just shoves his hand away and turns over.

          They were up all night stargazing. Michael's last date asked him about the stars and he couldnt exactly tell her that he had helped place most of them. So he just demurred to her hobbies and decided to learn the current name and contellations. Of course Lucifer insisted on showing off what he'd learned when he'd been released from the cage the first time. 

         The lack of sleep seems to have made him especially irritable today. It really would have been better to just bind him in his sleep but then Michael would have been the one to have to deal with Lucifer upon his awakening. Michael is being a bit too gentle trying to wake him so Raphael goes to get a glass of water from the tap.

           "What the hell!" Lucifer bolts upright as Raphael overturns the glass over his head. "You. Of course." he glares at his brother over Michael's shoulder, and wipes his face off with his shirt flashing the room. Michael, having been splashed slightly himself gives him an almost equally irritated glare.

         "We need to talk to you." Michael says after everyone is a bit better situated. "About something important.

          "I sure as hell hope so. I'd hate to think I was woken like that for no damn reason." Lucifer gives Raphae yet another hate filled glare.

           "We need to bind you." Raphael says flatly, much to Michael's consternation.

           "Excuse me?"

           "Gabriel's in trouble and Raphael needs to leave us to help her. He'll be away for about as long as Gabriel will be." Michael begins to explain. Lucifer's expression conveys clearly how little he gives a damn. "So we have to bind you."

            "I don't see how one follows the other."

            "You don't remember trying to steal thirty years worth of Brett Hanlon's life force?"

            "I was injured and you weren't here healing me." Because of course he thinks that's a justification.

            "And I won't be now, so we're binding you to make sure nothing like that can happen again."Raphael retorts.

            "You know you're not just depriving me of any sort of casting you're taking away the ability to have any sort of beneficial magic cast on me. If I get hurt I'll be stuck at the mercy of human intervention! I could die slowly painfully and horribly and there's nothing you could do about it."

            "I could end your suffering. If you prefer I could end it right now."

           "Are you going to just sit here and let him threaten to kill me?" Lucifer turns his attention to Michael. Who, while unhappy with Raphael's approach, is still determined to maintain a united front.

           "Nobody is going to kill you. But we do have to bind you. However, that means you'll also be granted a bit more freedom."

           "Such as?" But he doesnt seem overly impressed with the idea.

           " For one, you won't be under constant supervision anymore." Michael points out. 

           "But just to be clear, if you attempt to remove your bindings or injure anyone no matter how mundane, or even criminally misbehave in anyway I'll be forced to return. And if Michael still refuses to let me send you to the abyss, that means that I will have to simply remain here and Gabriel will be on her own. This will almost certainly result in her death and I can assure you if that happens because I was forced to deal with your bullshit, no one can protect you from me. I don't care what happens to me after wards."

           Lucifer sits in angry but thoughtful silence for several minutes. 

          "Can I trust, since you won't be here to sheild us from detection you'll be warding Michael and myself first?" Lucifer finally speaks. "Or at least Michael as it may not even work on me once the binding is in place. You must admit that if any of the supernatural community spotted us, we would make very tempting targets." 

           "Binding doesnt negate whats already done. I'll simply have to ward you first." Raphael feels a bit taken aback that he neglected to consider beyond preventing Lucifer from harming others. Even to the point of failing to consider Michael's welfare. He's missing too many things. 

             "Fine then."

             "Fine?" Michael finally speaks in surprise at the quick and painless capitulation.

            "I don't actually have a choice. Do I? You weren't asking my permission or did i fundimentally misunderstand something. Anyhow, I'd hardly consider it too big a price to pay to get rid of that one." Lucifer doesn't even glance to his younger brother, he just holds out his wrists.  Raphael first carves the sigils into their ribs, along with an extra one for quick healing on Lucifer's spare. It wont do too much, but its something. He then burns the binding sigils deep into the skin on his wrists.

          "I'll still be bringing you to your appointments." Raphael informs Michael. "I can do that much. If you need me at any other time..."

          "We won't." Lucifer snaps and goes to the sink to run cool water over his aching branded wrists. "You just make sure you take care of Gabriel or no one can protect you from me." Raphael just ignores him. Not that he doesnt think his brother means it, he just cares so very little about anything he could do it really doesnt matter.

           "I have your number." Michael gets to his feet. "Come here." he pulls his brother into a hug. "It'll be okay, Raphael. We'll all be just fine. I have faith in you." However all that does is remind him how badly things went the last time he was in charge of anything. 

        But Gabriel needs him and he has to return to Heaven for a short while. So he just accepts the loving gesture without a word, and leaves the second he's let go.

          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not familiar with V.C. Andrews, her most famous work being Flowers in the Attic, most of her books involve incestuous relationships between siblings and other family members. Lucifer would threaten to kill the author but I think she's already dead and her work is now just being ghost written under her name.
> 
> Am not entirely sure I like the chapter title, but can't think of anything else. Any suggestions?


	25. Soon, Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer and Michael now left alone together have a fight about an organ donor card that spirals out of control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is a pun that refers to a phenomenon popular in manga of a person who alternates harshness and tenderness towards the object of their affection. It's called tsun dere. Obviously it's probably not a direct play on words. The most popular tsun dere couples are ranma and Akane from Ranma1/2 and Kagome and Inuyasha from Inuyasha. Helga from Hey Arnold is also a notable example.  
> If you're curious check it out on TVTropes.com but be warned, you will get sucked into that website more surely than you'd ever get sucked into this one. It's fantastic.

      "It look like I tried to slit my wrist. And the dumb way, too." Lucifer frowns fussing at the bandages Michael's wrapped arround his sore wrists. The binding sigils themselves are set firmly, burned into his skin so deeply the nerves are damages and numb, but the area around them is swollen and blistered from the heat of it's application. Michael offered to cancel their lessons and let him stay home until it's healed, but that would leave him with absolutely nothing to do, so he refused.

      "I'm sure you'll find a way to turn the perception to your advantage." Michael smiles. "Would you like some mersydol?"

      "No, thank you, I'd rather stay awake while we dance, even if I am in pain. Just drop me off at the pharmacy. I'll get some asprin and meet you at the studio after your date."

       "It's not a date, and Allison already said she'd be willing to partner with me if you didn't want to come."

       "My legs are just fine. I can handle a dance. If Allison wants your attentions she can bid for them like everyone else." Lucifer attempts to be nasty but it just rolls off Michael's back this time. It's hard to be touchy over the auction when he was all around victorious in the whole affair.

       "She was bidding, If I recall." Michael responds, in the most unsatisfactory response to Lucifer's jab. "I was thinking you'd like to go pay a visit to the Hanlons, actually. Try and speak to the twins, maybe? I know you miss them."

       "Why would you think that?"

       "Because you haven't erased them from your address book yet and it's been well over a month since you last talked. Admit it, you miss your minions." Michael tweaks his brother's nose.

      "Why are you so damn happy?" Lucifer demands, annoyed by his brother's good mood.

      "We're learning to tango today. Alot of my dates have mentioned it and I'm curious. Aren't you?"

      "No. I know what it is." Lucifer heads out to the car. And that's why he will absolutely not allow any one else to learn it with his brother. The shameless hussies.

      "Seat belt." Michael reminds him. Lucifer just gives him a look so Michael reaches over and fastens the safety belt for him. He'll cheer up once they start dancing. He always does. Dancing or playing his violin. Not that he really can at the moment.

        Lucifer doesn't speak as they drive into town, though, but that also means he's not complaining about the music or making comments about Michael's latest night out. Just like he'll make comments about this one. Though it's not night, and it's also not a date. He's just having drinks with Jeff before their dance lessons. Just for an hour or so. It'll be Lucifer's first intentionally unchaperoned time in town. In truth Michael's a little nervous about it. Alot can happen in an hour and if Lucifer does anything, hurts anyone it's his responsibility.  
         "Did Gabriel restart your allowance yet?"

         "No. I'm still one donation short." He replies almost blankly.

         "Here." Michael takes the emergency twenty from the ashtray and holds it out. "You have your phone. If you decide to go to dinner or something instead of the lessons just let me know where you're going and when to pick you up." Lucifer looks over at him almost incredulous for a moment before taking the money. "We told you you'd have more freedom."

         "This isn't freedom." He just looks back out the window, tucking the twenty into his bra. Michael half thinks he only wears one when his outfit doesn't have pockets. Not that there's all that much difference whether he wears one or not. Maybe it makes them a bit rounder, pushes them closer together. "Stop sign." Michael quickly applies the breaks and just barely taps the bumper of the car stopped in front of him. The police car in front of him. Lucifer laughs as the officer switches on the lights and gets out of the car. "What kind of Winchester can't drive while staring at their passenger? For shame, Michael, you'll get your plaid privileges revoked."  
          "Don't you ever call me that again." he snaps, though it's good to hear his brother laugh. Winchester indeed.  His embarassment doubles as it's office Braxton. "Hello, Celia." He greets her.

           "If you wanted my attention, you could have just honked." she grins, leaning on the side of the car.

           "I apologize. Do you need my insurance or am I just going to get arrested?"

           "That depends on how fond you are of handcuffs." She purrs.

           "You little whore." Fortunately Lucifer's utterance was in Enochian, though Celia clearly gets the gist. Of course Michael's not sure which one of them he's referring to.

           "Not very." Michael replies, ignoring him, and goes for the insurance papers in the visor.

           "Don't worry about it. There's no damage, let's just pretend this didn't happen." She winks. "And you there. Stop distracting your brother. If he gets into a real accident, you'll get the worst of it. It's called the death seat for a reason, you know."

           "It's called what now?"

            "I'll see you Saturday." Officer Braxton pats the hood of the car, unwilling to try for a kiss in front of Michael's glaring sibling.

            "Saturday." He smiles at her and watches her go back to the squad car.

            "You're dating Officer Freindly?"

             "Her name is Celia and yes. We've been out twice already."

             "I thought you were screwing Jeff."

             "I'm freinds with Jeff. And I'm not 'screwing' anybody." Michael waves as Celia does so from her police car.

             "Why not? They all seem gung ho. Or are you pining over your first long lost lover? Who was that anyways? Was it Joan? I've heard some things about you and Joan."

             "No. And I'll thank you not to talk about Joan D'Arc. You don't know anything about it or her. You weren't there."

             "I admit, the view from the cage was pretty damn limited." he snaps right back.

             "Even after the cage, you don't call this freedom?" Michael forces the subject to change, no matter how clumsy or ill advised it was.

             "It's pretty, Michael. But a guilded cage, is still just a cage." Lucifer exits the car as Michael pulls over in front of the pharmacy, hanging on the hood of the car to prominently display the bandages on his wrist. "I'll see you at the studio."

             Michael considers just parking in the lot and telling Jeff something came up, but Lucifer's going to have to be alone at some point. The bar isn't that far away.

             "That is the gayest damn car I've ever seen." Jeff comments, not for the first time, as Michael exits the prius, "And I should know."  He just shrugs and walks into the bar beside him. He never understood how colors could have sexuality. Or why a rainbow, a symbol of god's promise not to flood the world again became a symbol for gay pride. Though you'd think the religious types protesting it would remember that promise when making their wild claims of punishment from above. If heaven spent all it's time punishing sexual misconduct there would be no more humans left alive. "So, hows the dating game going?" Jeff prods as Michael grabs the pool sticks.

             "I'm seeing Celia again Saturday. Maybe." he sets up the table as Jeff orders the first round. "I might have to cancel to stay with Lucy. I'm not sure."

              "Mike, she is sixteen years old. I know I don't know the details, but you're going to have to let go sometime. This whole... constant vigilance thing isn't healthy. For any of you. It certainly isn't helping your love life." Jeff hands him a beer. "Sorry, They don't have anything but Kingdom beer today."

               "I think you being my first date in town was worse for it." Michael holds his friends beer as he breaks. Everyone seems to think he's gay or in denial or something except for the few women who didn't seem to care. Of course most of them seemed to just write him off as gay if he didn't feel like sleeping with them immediately. As if being at all reluctant means he was fundamentally disinclined to the entire gender.  Only Celia even could accept the he may be bisexual, even though he's yet to truly desire another man more than basic curiosity.  It's a bit frustrating.

               "Maybe." Jeff grins. "They're not as open minded as they think. They don't even know what an Ace or a Demi is. Which, have you considered you might be."    

               "I know for a fact that I'm not asexual."

               "A demi then. Some people need deep feelings, and there's nothing wrong with that." Jeff manages to get a second ball in a side pocket. Michael reflects on that one. Deep feelings, that's certainly unfortunately true. but he never feels comfortable talking about any of this, no matter how casual Jeff is about it, so he just changes the subject.

                "As for Lucy she's on her own and unchaperoned as we speak. Hopefully she won't kill anyone or burn anything down." Lucifer's penchant for firey destruction has always been incredibly insulting and annoying no matter how much Gabriel tries to call it ultimate pigtail pulling. Its not flattering at all.

                "No wonder you're on edge. Especially since I'm not always sure you're joking when you say things like that. She always seemed so sweet too, when I saw her with the twins, or playing that violin by the fire station. It's absolutely enchanting. She has a real gift with that." 

            "She does. And she can be very sweet, but she has... behavior problems and now April's had to leave to be with Gabrielle."

             "Is everything alright?"

             "It will be. But with her gone and Gabrielle in trouble it's just the two of us for now."

             "You poor thing." He pauses to take a drink of his beer. "You're not going to end up living off pizza again until she gets back, are you?"

             "Probably not, thought neither of us know how to cook and we get tired of raw foods constantly. I've only just learned how to properly pluck and butcher a chicken, but that's it. I always over cook it somehow."

             "You really kill and butcher your own chickens." Jeff makes a face, the thought of Michael slaughtering chickens seems at the same time so manly and yet so disgusting. But then again most extremely manly things do.

             "People do that, don't they?" It almost sounds as if he's actually asking, and not just being facetious. But then again he is kind of obviously foreign. Maybe even third world given his lack of skill with even the most basic technologies.

             "Not in Sunvale. Why don't I come over tomorrow and show you and Lucy how to make a few things. We can precook like a weeks worth of simple stuff and freeze half of it so you'll at least have that much for when you're long on hunger and short on time." Jeff puts his cue back and takes the beers. He always goes first because once Michael gets a turn, that's it. In fact the only point in playing pool with Mike is watching him make all those incredible damn shots. He asked him about it and he simply said 'it's only simple geometry temped with complex systems theory'. Because he couldn't just be hot as hell, he has to actually be really damn smart too.

             "I'd appreciate that. but I can't speak for Lucy. She's a picky eater and beyond that tends to take a bit of an attitude towards anyone I have any sort of relationship with. Apparently she doesn't believe in 'just friendship' between adults. I can't guarantee she won't make things unpleasant." And he proceeds to start his almost effortless streak.

              "I've got to say, Mike. I'm kind of starting to think you two don't have the healthiest relationship." This statement elicits a short laugh from Michael who upon sinking the last ball, sets up the table again.

              "Do you have siblings?" he asks.

              "Yes, but I'm the youngest. I'm also the problem child, so I probably identify more with Lucy in this scenario."

              "Trust me, you could never have been that much of a problem."

 

              "I'm not entirely sure that was an appropriate dance for siblings." Jeff comments as Michael and Lucy come to the side of the studio to get Lucy's purse. She makes a comment in that language of theirs, which earns her a sharp look from her brother. "I've been meaning to ask you. What language is that?"

               "Antideluvian, it's fairly obscure." Michael responds. "Only my family really speaks it fluently. Has something happened?"

               "No, you just dropped this in the bar and I was curious about seeing you dance."he holds out the card, but Lucy intercepts it.

               "Organ donor? Really? Have you lost your mind?" She tosses it in the trash.

               "Do you really think it's going to come up?" Michael replies taking it back out and puts it back in his wallet.

               "Religious objections?"

               "No, my sister just thinks that being an organ donor means the doctors won't try as hard to save you if you're in questionable condition. Especially if they need the parts." He replies dryly.

               "That's remarkably cynical for someone so young and pretty." Jeff raises an eyebrow at the girl who is definitely taking an attitude at his presence. It's a hell of a change from the almost bashful adoration evident on her face during their dance.  Definitely not a healthy sort of attachment.

               "I'll be in the car." She walks between them shoving Jeff aside as she does so. Michael just gives a sigh.

               "I see what you mean." Jeff frowns, noticing the white wrist bands on her arms are actually bandages. "Is... is she okay?"

               "Not really."

               "She didn't... she didn't try to hurt herself did she?"

               "It's not something we can discuss, but she'll be alright. What time did you want to come over?"

               "Around noon." Jeff rubs the back of his neck. "Hey, look, I didn't mean anything by what I said earlier. If she's a little attached to you maybe it's not a bad thing. Especially if....I mean, everyone needs something to hold onto, right? But maybe she should be in counceling too you know."

               "We have this taken care of. I do appreciate your concern, though." Michael smiles, touching his shoulder, making Jeff yet again regret that he couldn't at least talk him into experimenting more than they did. Granted watching him dance is enough to do that. "I'll see you then.'

 

               "It's a symbolic gesture of good will." Michael can feel his temper starting to fray. Lucifer will just not let this drop. "Everyone else at the blood drive showed willing. Especially the other firemen, so why shouldn't I?"

            "Oh, I don't know, because it's harder to resurrect a body with missing pieces? Because it's a human thing to do and you're not a fucking ape?" Lucifer slams the door behind him, trying and failing to hit his brother with it.

            "At the moment I absolutely am."He forces himself not to slam it himself. "And so are you, so stop acting as if you're not."

           "We are not like them."  Lucifer turns around, his voice low and deadly. "We can walk with them, wear these bodies, talk to them, fuck them, but we will never be them. At best we are soulless abominations, fallen sons of the most high lacking everything of substance."

            "You say that as if you think you ever had any at all." Michael's firey reply is equally deadly.

            "We were more than those wharped tulpas they call gods. Infinitely more than these sad meat sacks. Do you really still think I was wrong in refusing to bow to them? These helpless, hopeless slaves to their own bodies. After living like this how could you think wiping them from the face of the earth would be anything but a mercy." He gestures to his young healthy female body as if it were one crippled with disease, in constant pain.

            "You're claiming to be merciful now." Michael's voice drips with contempt.

            "I'm claiming to be right, as you know I'm right and have always been right. They are nothing but flawed broken abortions unworthy of our father's love. They're certainly not worthy of yours. Do you think that man actually cares about you? About anything besides what's in those jeans?" Lucifer looks his brother over like he's an object on display, his gaze dismissing anything else of being worth notice, maybe lingering a little too long.

             "I think you're an ungrateful, arrogant brat. Why is that your default solution to everything? Destroying humanity? What will that prove? Do you think that will actually fix anything? No. Because they're not the problem. They've never been the problem. You are. You and your selfishness, your thoughtlessness, your pride fuelled greed." The hurt and offended look on his brother's face is just infuriating.

              "How can you say that to me? I gave everything I was for you. I put myself on the line over and over, sacrificed my own well being for every single thing in existence and somehow I'm unreasonable for thinking that should count for something? For thinking maybe I didn't deserve to be subjugated to those worthless infant mistakes? That none of you did. Especially not you." He places a hand gently on his brother's chest. Michael just knocks it away.

               "Don't you dare try to claim any of it was for me. I didn't care. Do you think it was a new experience for me? Being second best in his eyes? None of us cared until you had to speak out and poison everything I held dear! Father didn't love you best anymore? What excuse was that? I loved you best. Gabriel loved you. Your siblings who followed you into damnation loved you more than their own well being." Michael forces himself to swallow the memory of those brothers he was forced to fight, to kill, because of that rebellion, but the pain just won't go away. It never does.

                 "How could you not care? They were nothing. You were the Prince of Heaven, commander of God's army, placed above all of us. How could you have bowed to them? How could you have chosen them over me? I didn't poison anything. They did! Their very existence rots and corrupts and destroys us."

                "They were infants! And the one who did the corrupting was you! It didn't have to be this way, but you broke them. You brought them to ruin, and you're the one who chose them over all of us. So what if it was your desire to destroy and punish them for their own existence that you chose and not the choice to honor them, you still just took everything we ever had and threw it all away." It's so tiring. All the blame, the pushing away of any responsibility for anything he's done. As if nothing was ever his fault. Michael has just had enough. He can't hold it back anymore.

                 "I threw it away? I did? I went to you. I asked you to stand with me. You're the one who refused, who threw our life away. You threw me away. Physically, you cast me from our home and you're blaming me for that?"

                 "You know what you did. That darkness inside you was so much bigger than anything I felt for you. You know what you kept doing. It went against everything I was and everything I ever thought you were. I did what I had to but don't you ever think it didn't hurt me every bit as much as it did you." But his brother just turns away, shaking his head, a mocking laugh leaving his lips.

                  "And they call me a liar."

                  "You listen..." Michael struggles to control himself as Lucifer looks back at him, full of rage and defiance.

                  "No, you listen." Lucifer pokes him in the chest. "You have rejected me, betrayed me, beaten me, banished me, done your best to kill me, and conspired to  strip me of everything I am for them and you claim to have some moral high ground?" Michael just clenches his fists and his jaw, willing himself not to respond, not to let himself be provoked. He won't let him get to him, he won't. "They have witnessed my every humiliation at your hands and you think I should stop hating them because of a few months of helpless subjugation? Well, I haven't stopped. I despise them. I loathe them and every single day I hate them more and more.

                "Do you see what they've done? To each other, to the earth, to our brothers, to themselves, to you. They break everything they touch and you..." Lucifer reaches up, caressing his brother's face, his voice suddenly deep with emotion "Do you see what they're doing to us? To you? Stripped of your wings, your title, your freedom and now you sign over peices of your very flesh to them? For what? The privilege of being their pet?"

                "I am no one's pet, brother. not theirs, not yours." Michael replies very carefuly, keeping himself from wrenching his brothers fragile wrist to take his hand away.

                "No." He drags his hand down Michael's neck, tracing his fingers on the center line of his chest. "You're their toy. bought and sold and passed from bed to bed. Is it worth it? Pain is so much worse like this I can only imagine the pleasure is that much better." Michael just closes his eyes and tries to erase his brother's words.

                "You shut your mouth." he says, his breathing deeply controlled.

                 "I could easily find out, you know. Now that I have this 'freedom' you claim I do. I generally prefer to be male as it's so much easier to just ruin them and leave them begging for more. But these pearly teeth and pretty nails... I could peirce their skin easily, don't you think?" Lucifer presses the tips into Michael's skin, "Dragging them down their back, limbs entwined, consumed in passion. Would they even feel it, do you think? I never did." He almost whispers.

                 "Stop talking. Just stop." A command or a plea, Michael's not sure which. The burning fires of rage, jealousy, desire pressing hard against him.

                 "Or maybe that's what would fix me."He mocks. "Knowing the warm loving embrace of a man? All that joy. Can you see me?" Lucifer takes hold of Michael's face with both hands, forcing his eyes upon him. "Some simpering things lost in her lovers arms? Hopelessly devoted to her saviour, Would you like that? Would that make you happy, Michael? You want me bow to humanity, right? I suppose I could at least get down on my knees." Michael grabs his wrists, forcing him away, half slamming him against the wall.

                "I hate you." Is all he manages to say.

                "Fuck you, Michael. You human's whore." And the damn inside him bursts, forcing him to silence his brother the only way he can, his lips sealed firmly by Michael's own.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to be honest. I'm far to bashful to do smut, especially on a public forum my parents have access to. I'm 34 but still.... That said the next chapter will probably have the closet I come to it. I don't get explicit but I think you know by now that I can indirectly imply things fairly well. I'm fairly sure you all know what Gabriel's offending lollypop in the early chapters looked like without my actually having to say it outright. It'll pretty much be along those veins.  
> Enjoy.
> 
> Michael refers to Enochian as Antidilluvian in this as a way to be honest, but not at the same time. It's an alternate name for the language and much harder to spell or reference online. Especially as its generally used just as an overall term for the pre-flood world in general and not the language.


	26. Scrub Your Sins Away (with the quince and walnut shell exfoliating mix)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath
> 
> A flippant title for a heavy chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One might argue that it being Michael's first complete sexual experience, it wouldn't be so spectacular as I'm implying, but it definitely wasn't Lucifer's and given Michael's youth, strength, and utter defencelessness against sexual manipulation, you can bet your boots it was everything Luci might want it to be.

             Michael isn't sure what wakes him, maybe the leg of the trampoline that he's rolled against, maybe something disturbed the chickens, but he's awake. They should really get a dog or something to keep the foxes away. He stills as Lucifer turns over, embracing him in his sleep, wrapping a leg around his own. A strong sinking feeling collects in the pit of his stomach and he gently extracts himself from his brother's limbs.

            The comforter is half crumpled on the floor underneath them and isn't too hard to fold over the sleeping form. The pillows are everywhere and it strikes him that the previously staged scene wasn't nearly as violently done as it should have been. As if anything that could ever happen between him and Lucifer could be anything but an devastating explosion of overwhelming passion. Sex or murder it could only go one way. He forces the thought away and makes his way to the shower.

             He manages not to think until the hot water hits his back and shoulders. He barely felt it at the time,but he feels them now. The water, the soap makes them sting. It wakes him slightly but he's still exhausted. Just like when they fought in heaven, pushing each other to exhaustion, forcing things to the very limit, it seemed their embrace would never end. Every time he thought he'd had enough she'd break away, vying for control, or teasing until he took it back again. She... he.. no. she... that body beneath his was nothing but a she, and she owned him up until the very end when suddenly she just let go, surrendering everything.

             All he did was whisper her name into her skin, Helel, my Helel Ben Sahar. And she shone, he shone, they shone together, perfect and sublime for the first time in so very long. Like one being in that heart of the divine, nothing existing but themselves. So perfect, so pure, so right, so terribly horribly wrong.

            "Oh Father what have I done?" Michael covers his face, sinking down into the tub. Something like this was never meant to be. How could it? All lust and anger and love for a creature so long destroyed by his own hubris his name should never have been spoken again.

            "It's just as messy as everything else they do isn't it?"Lucifer comments, drawing back the curtain and stepping inside with him. She doesn't look too steady on her feet.

            "I am so sorry." Michael manages as she kneels down in front of him.

            "Don't be."She responds flippantly "I think we should resolve all our arguments this way." She leans forwards kissing his unmoving lips with suprising tenderness, placing her hand on his cheek, He gently move it away.

           "Lucifer..."

           "Don't call me that, not right now." she reaches for him with her other hand.

           "That's who you are." he intercepts that one as well. "I'm sorry. This never should have happened."

'          "Well, it did, and it was wonderful and we were everything you know we were meant to be." The look of loving adoration in her eyes breaks his heart. He never thought he'd see that look again, not from her. Not after everything but it's not right.

           "It's a lie. This was never meant to be. This isn't for us. I'm sorry. I was weak and I..."

           "What? You what?" Her gaze starts to harden again, a vision of liquid wings freezing before his eyes. So familiar, so painful to watch. "Or am I somehow going ot take the blame for this as well?" Lucifer takes her hands away and gets shakily to her feet. "You kissed me. You said you loved me. Don't you? Don't you love your Helel Ben Sahar?" There's such vulnerability there, he doesn't know what to say. All he has is the truth.       

           "You know I do," he can feel his heart breaking before he breaks hers. "But you're barely a shadow of him." He's almost surprised when all Lucifer does is quietly leave the bathroom, but still relieved. Another fight, or worse tears and he never could have stayed firm. He has no right to these feelings and he can't let this happen again. How could he have let it in the first place? How could he have let these desires get so out of control? Every other opportunity and he just kept holding himself back.

            How could he have let this even be possible in the first place? How could he have been so selfish and reckless as to remove his grace and expose himself to this. Not that he could have known. How could he have anticipated something like this?To have those feelings much less to have them returned.  That makes things even worse. Even if he can control or rein in his own desires, where does that leave his brother? How could he stay beside him after this? Day after day knowing the things he's stirring within her. Would his presence be a torment? A constant reminder of this rejection? Lucifer could never take that well. What else can he do?

            With a moment of weakness he's ruined everything, No. No not a moment, a thousand moments, a thousand kisses, a thousand breathless pauses each step of the way a choice to go on and give in to the burning need inside him. He denied it before, why not then? Because he chose. This path to his very own hell  he made himself every step of the way. And still he wants it. Why? What's wrong with him?

            He's still breaking everything he touches. If anything is a flawed abortion it's him. Being human seems so fitting at this moment. He just has to hold on, that's all. Regardless of whether he can keep himself from her or not, it doesn't matter He has to stay, be hated or be damned until Gabriel gives birth and can take back her grace. Then he can flee to the ends of the earth and bury himself in his shame, leaving their sibling in hands that won't constantly try to destroy him.

            The sound of the car's engine being revved pulls Michael out from himself and he races to the door to see the car speeding off into the darkness. There's the briefest impulse to call Raphael, but it just makes him feel violently ill. How could he let him know what he's done? What would happen to Lucifer if he found out? Raphael would never allow things to remain as they are and the only other options are unthinkable. It's likely he'll just kill her and send her back to the abyss. No, he can't call him for this.

 

            "Mike?"Jeff picks up the phone, half yawning as he does so. "Kind of late isn't it?"

            "It's an emergency. Lucy's run off and she took the car. I need your help."

            "Uh, got it. I'll be right there. Your car have lojack or gps or something? It can't be an old car. I refuse to believe more than one person would request a thing like that."

            "I think so. Gabriel... Gabrielle might have mentioned that."

            "Okay then, we'll find her. If not we can always try her cell phone, if she hasn't tossed it or turned it off or something."

            "Thank you."

             By the time Jeff arrives it's almost two in the morning. He must have went right to the car and floored it to get there that fast. Michael's just found the papers. Gabriel stashed them along with other important ones in an envelope at the bottom of the quince filled fruit bowl.

             "Hey." Jeff nods as Michael gets in his car. "So what happened? Why'd she take off?"

             "We... had an argument." he says quietly. "How do I do this?"

             "Here." Jeff holds out his hand for the papers, and brings up the locator on his phone. "It looks stationary. Just up in the city. Do you know anybody there?"

             "No."

             "Does she? Someone she maybe met online?" he hates to suggest it but that happens so often it's kind of irresponsible not to suggest it.

             "No. She hasn't been allowed internet access. not even her phone has it. It's an old crappy flip phone, it might not even have gps on it." Michael's stress shows in his normally even, if sarcastic, voice. Not that Jeff blames him.

            "Man, you do keep her on a short leash." Jeff whistles.

            "We have to. She.. she has no conscience, violent tendencies. She hurt people and was locked away for a very long time. She almost killed Gabrielle once. We've been doing our best to rehabilitate her. We dropped everything to do this. I know how it all looks, but..." Michael just turns his head to stare out the window. Jeff feels a stab in his heart for the man. All this, No wonder he's having trouble with living his own life, he doesn't feel like he should. But still he has to ask.

           "Is she dangerous?"

           "Yes. Not as dangerous as she was but still.. So, when we find her, if you see her first don't do anything, just come to me."

           "Okay." Jeff looks to the road in front of him, trying to think. With the car so still it's doubtful she's still in it. "You know, given how close she was to the twins, do you think she's meeting some freind of theirs? They know people in the city. You should check with them. See if they know anything."

           "That's a good idea." Michael dials Mrs. Hanlon's number.

           "It is two am. This better be an emergency." Is the tired greeting.

           "This is Michael, Lucy's brother. And yes, it is. Lucy's run off and I need to know if she's spoken to the twins, or is meeting a friend of theirs or even just know where she is or is headed."

            "Of course." she replies after a moment. "Give me a minute."

            "What? Did she hang up?" Jeff glances over at the bewildered look on Michael's face.

            "No. She's cooperating."

            "You're surprised?"

            "She hates all of us."

             "She is a mother. Besides I'm fairly sure she just hates Gabrielle. It's just mild to strong dislike for the rest of you. Maybe some pity for Lucy, since it does look kind of bad. And everyone's been gossiping about those bandages so she probably thinks she's a danger to herself."

              "That was quick. She just went out in those bandages those afternoon."

              "It's a small town, and you four are infinitely interesting." Jeff shrugs. And attractive, which makes them even more interesting. And possibly independantly wealthy in the mix.

              "Mr. Angelo." Mrs. hanlon's back to the phone.

              "Yes." He brings it back up to his ear.

              "She called Denny a few times but she didn't pick up. I checked their phones, there's no other calls or texts. If we hear from her or see her we'll call you immediately. We promise. Have you called the police?"

               "No. Not yet. If we can't find her, I will." he lies. Involving the police would make things infinitely worse. "Thank you."

               "Good luck. I'll send prayers your way."

               "No!" Michael snaps at bit more harshly than he intends. "no, please, No prayers. Just... thank you. Good bye."

               "What was that?" Jeff gives a slight laugh. "I know you're not exactly a church going man, but jesus."

               "It's complicated."

               "I guess... hey! There it is." Jeff points ahead. "I could spot that flaming monstrosity for miles."  They pull up next to it. There are sigils painted all over the doors. "Man, they tagged that thing, quick."

               "It's out of gas." Michael opens the door. And she's spent the emergency twenty earlier on a quick meal. with nothing in her account, no wonder she abandoned it.

                "Lets try her phone. Just in case it's not quite that crappy." Jeff suggests. "What's her number."

                "The usual, ending 0616. it's a family plan." Michael hands his smart phone over. Jeff brings up the relevant site on both Michael's phone and his own.

                "About a mile north somewhere in the park. Get back in, we'll catch up and split up to search both sides of the park."

                "You don't have to do that."

                 "Of course not. But I am, so come on."

                

                 Based on the speed of her phone's movement, she's just walking. So Michael runs, periodically checking his phone to make sure he's going in the right direction. It's ridiculously imprecise giving just a small general area. Jeff took the other half of the park but he seems to think calling to her might actually make Luci go his way. Given as it should effectively herd her closer to Michael, though, he didn't correct him. Better if she doesn't meet up with Jeff.

                 He can see a slender figure walking down the path towards a tunnel beneath the walkway and pushes him self to catch up.

                 "Lucifer." he grabs her arm, belatedly realizing that might be taken poorly if this isn't her. But it is and his brother attempts to throw him, only to get countered and sent to the ground herself.

                 "How on earth did you find me?" She demands, her curiosity winning out over her indignation.

                 "Luck, science. If I tell you more I might not get to use it agian." Michael kneels down in front of her. "I'm sorry."

                 "Fuck you and your apologies." Lucifer scrambles back up. "You have no right... you... " She turns and starts to walk off again.

                "You don't want to be near me right now, I know, but there's no one else and I can't just let you go your own way."

                 "No? Tell me, what real harm could I do?" she holds up her still bandaged wrists, looking somehow so very small and vulnerable. "I would love to hear it."

                "Don't pretend you're not the most intelligent resourceful being in all creation. What couldn't you do given enough time?"Michael follows him into the tunnel. "I shouldn't have said what I did. It wasn't thought out and I don't..."

                 "Don't what? Think it was some horrid regrettable mistake?"She challenges. But of course he can't say that and she though she clearly want him to, she can't expect it.

                 "I never meant to imply I didn't love you, or that you weren't good enough."

                 "Then what the hell did you mean I'm not even a shadow..." It's hard for her to even say the words. "That's all I ever was, reflections and shadows."

                 "Don't say that." Michael hasn't heard him talk like that since the very first days after the mark and it scares him more than anything else ever could.

                  "You don't like what you see anymore? Who's fault is that? All anyone ever sees when they look at me is themselves."

                  "Then how can I hate myself so completely right now and still love you so much?" His response seems almost to strike Lucifer like a physical blow.

                  "Twice was enough, Michael." Her voice cracks as he tries to hold himself in check. "You don't get to do this to me again. Casting me from heaven. And for what? What did I do wrong in your eyes this time?"

                  "I'm sorry. Please. just stay and try to be good. try and I will be anything to you that you want me to be. You were doing so well and it's not too late. Just stay and try, that's all I'm asking. Please don't go and throw this all away."

                  "There you go, saying I'm the one throwing things away."She gives a bitter laugh, painful for him to hear, "Fuck you, Michael, do you think I want your pity? Do you think you can seduce me into righteousness? Let me tell you something, loving you will never make me give a shit about any of these creatures."

                   "No, but loving me means respecting that I do. I will always love you and I always have, but that doesn't mean I can or should sacrifice everything else I hold dear just to prove it."he gently takes her hand.

                   "You should have had Raphael kill me." She says flatly, her empty tone matching the hole he feels deep inside.

                  "No, I shouldn't have. Nobody should be killing anybody. Nobody is going to kill or be killed again. Just please, won't you be good? Can't you try it? Can't you pretend? Just for a little while. You never know, you might like it." Michael forces a smile, pulling her closer to him.

                   "I thought that's what I have been doing."

                   "And didn't you have fun? Haven't we had fun? All of us, being together, a family again. Even in that pain in the ass prank war. Dancing, exploring this world together?"

                   "It has been kind of fun, but it's so meaningless, Michael. Why should we settle for this?"

                   "Fuck meaning. We'll make our own meaning. What's the point in trying to destroy humanity anymore anyway? Just to spit in the face of a dead god?"

                   "Awww." Lucifer suddenly breaks into laughter and pushes away. " Look at you, trying to seduce me. You're doing a terrible job but it's just so adorable. How can I ever resist." He's not sure how much of that is just mocking him, but then again, she might not either.

                   "I mean every word of it." Michael flushes.

                   "Of course you do. It doesn't work if you don't." She attempts to soothe her irritated brother, putting a hand to his cheek. "Do you even really know what you want? What you're trying to say?"

                  "I'm trying to say come home and stay with me because I love you and don't want anything to happen to you again." Michael puts his hand over his lover's.

                  "'Ey. Love birds." Yet another human insisting on intruding on a private moment between them. "Hands up."

                  "Don't kill him." Michael says warningly. Lucifer just rolls his eyes and turns slowly towards the voice.

                  "Easy there," A ragged, hooded semi trembling man with a ridiculously large gun is standing in the tunnel before them. "C'mon."

                  "Don't talk. Don't move." Lucifer sweetly instructs his brother before switching back to English and slowly lifting his hands in the air. "Good morning."

                 "G-good morning." the man looks a bit confused, aiming his gun at the larger more imposing of the two. "Give me your money and your jewelry. Now. Phones too."

                  "We'll have to move our hands. Unless you want to come closer and get them out yourself." She keeps her voice calm and low.

                  "Nuh uh,  I saw you two move earlier. I'm not that dumb. you girl, get his wallet. Go slow. I will shoot you."

                  "I believe you." Lucifer reassures the shaking man. "Michael, we're just going to give it to him and he'll go away. Isn't that right?" She glances back to the man.

                  "Right." He nods, then frowns as Lucifer frowns.

                  "Michael? Where's your damn wallet?"she asks still sweetly, but clearly annoyed.

                  "Back pocket,"

                  "That's just your phone."

                  "It must have fallen out in Jeff's car."

                  "Okay. It's okay. Um, my brother has lost his wallet. But he does have a decent phone? Is that alright?"Lucifer holds it up. The mans hands are shaking so badly it's a wonder the gun hasn't just gone off yet.  
                  "W-what about you?"

                  "Well, my phone is terrible, but you're welcome to it."she gives a soft smile taking it from her bra.

                  "Yeah, that sucks. Got anything else in there?"The man twitches a smile as he said it, turning into a leer. "Maybe I should have you take it off and show me, huh?"

                 "Just this." Lucifer swallows her irritation and takes out her bank card from the other side. "I don't know how much is on it," she lies, knowing very well it only has twenty seven cents. "But the pin number is 0666. Do you think you can remember that?"

                  "Seriously?" Michael can't help commenting on it. Lucifer shoots him a quick look that clearly states it was chosen for him and he damn well who by.

                  "Alright.... alright drop it all and step back." his grip gets slightly steadier. Lucifer drops the items. "Necklace too."

                   "It's just some tin medallion."

                   "Necklace, too."

                   :ucifer slowly removes the necklace. The man looks nervously around.

                   "Is that okay? Are we done now? Can we go?"She makes her voice as meek and gentle as she can.

                   "Yeah... yeah back up. just keep...."One of their phones rings and the man jerks his gun towards the noise, finally pressing too hard on the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Michael is a little fucked up over this.  
> I feel so bad.  
> Truly I am a cruel, capricious god.  
> Hopefully they'll forgive me when everything works out in the end. which it fucking will if they'll just behave themselves. But I doubt they will. Doesn't matter, I do have the final say and won't stop until they're happy, dammit.
> 
> okay. This is essentially my mid season cliffhanger and I lost another subscriber. I'm feeling pretty insecure right now so this is another bit of shameless begging for feedback. Even just tell me where I went wrong. Every bit of info helps me become a better writer.


	27. Mourning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is called back to earth.  
> What happened to Lucifer?  
> And why isn't Michael anywhere to be found?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hell gets free wi-fi so it's only fair heaven gets cellular service. At least I think so. And yes, they probably are pirating the signals. Heaven's not what it used to be. Though granted such minor crimes are much better than endless civil war and brother murdering brother in my humble opinion. I dunno, call it protaganist based morality if you will, but prayer has it's limits, being basically a one way service. It's not like they're stealing cable. Though, honestly... they might be. If so, they'd better at least be keeping an eye on the towers and such. Hmmm, do you think the cable company with the best service is really just protected by angels not wanting to miss the next episode of the walking dead? It's certainly as logical as thinking any major cable company is actually spending the necessary money on maintenance and repairs, if not more so. Think about it.

        It constantly amazes Raphael that they get reception in heaven, much less telemarketing calls. Though he suspects hell of being involved in that little delight. This number has called five times in the last hour. He should turn off his phone, but Michael is taking his humanity a bit too in stride and constantly forgets to pray, calling or texting instead. There's a 'no call' list isn't there? He heard of something like that. he can just request not to be solicited. Failing that, smiting their network should work. At least temporarily. Especially if it's a robotic call.

         "Please take me off your list." He states upon answering it the next time it rings. "I'm also not interested in donating blood, and will certainly not be donating any money to charity ever again if you do not cease and desist in this harassment."

          "No, this isn't.." the flustered voice says. "This is Ms. Akupara? You're listed as Lucy Pivensie's emergency contact. She's your sister, right? We've been trying to reach you all morning. Don't you check your messages?"

          "I've been busy. Who is this and what has she done now?" Raphael sighs.

          "She's been shot, actually."The nurse sounds irritated. "This is Mt. Sinai hospital in Middleton. She's currently in surgery. We will still need you to sign consents."

           "I'll be right there." He takes himself to Middleton in an alley way near the hospital and hangs up the phone. There are no other calls or texts except from that number. What on earth... He dial's Michael's phone. "Michael," He starts before realizing he's reached his brother's voice mail. "What happened? Lucifer's in the hospital. Call me back or pray immediately." He hurries into the main entrance. " I was gone ONE day. One! Excuse me. Someone just called me about my sister, Lucy Pivensie?" he raps on the counter in front of a nurse on the phone.

            "That was fast." The nurse stares at him.

            "I was nearby."

            "You're April Akuhara? Lucy's sister?" The familiar slightly skeptical confusion of anyone confronted with his skin tone and told he's related to his siblings is really starting to piss him off.

           "My family adopted her from a destitute war torn third world balkan country considering it their christian duty." he replies dryly. "Here's my ID." he forces himself not to throw it at the nurse. "Now where is my sister?"

           "She's still in surgery. Don't worry, she's in good hands. We just need you to fill out some papers and someone will come and talk to you. C'mon, you can do it in the conference room." The nurse goes to put a comforting hand on her back, but stops at the very clearly unwelcoming glare given to her and just leads the way instead.

          It's just insurance forms, consent forms, privacy statements. he fills them out easily, calling and recalling Michael all the while. he doesn't answer. Pretty soon the  phone just stops ringing entirely, going straight to voicemail. Did he hang up? Turn it off? Did it run out of power? Did he somehow forget or loose his cell phone? Raphael never should have warded them. Not completely.

           "Ms. Akupara?" A physician comes into the room.

           "Yes, what happened?"

           "Your sister has suffered a gunshot wound to the chest. Fortunately it seems to have missed all bones organs and major blood vessels and lodged itself comfortably just above the heart. Dr. Erasmith is our best surgeon and we have every confidence we can remove it safely and with minimal damage."

           "Alright, that still doesn't tell me how this happened."

           "I'm afraid I don't have all the details. A couple of police officers should be available to speak with you shortly. But until then, do you know if your sister has a living will?" So much for them having every confidence.

          "No, but do not..." He goes to say do not resuscitate but oddly finds that he can't. "Just do your best I suppose."

         "Alright, and if the unthinkable should happen, do you know her wishes regarding organ donation?" He asks gently. Raphael is just silent. Resurrecting a body with missing parts is at best annoying, but he's not going to resurrect him at all if he dies so that doesn't matter. So his life in this venture might as well bring some good to somebody. "I know it's hard to think about right now, but..."

          "No. It's fine. Take what you need. If she dies, use her to save other people. It's how it should be." Raphael looks to the doctors clip board. "I assume this involves more paperwork?"

          "Yes." he hands it to her. "Sign here. And... here..." He points out where to sign on the densely lettered sheets.

          "We have a brother. Michael Angelo. He's not here? No one's contacted him?"

          "I don't believe so. You were the only one listed on the emergency card in her wallet."

          "Are you sure? I have a hard time believing that he left her side much less let anything happen to her."

          "I'll have somebody check, but she was brought in alone. In the meantime, if you'd like to just wait here for a moment. You'll be brought to her room when she's out of surgery."

           "Very well." Raphael sighs. He can just use that time to try to find Michael.

           "There are a few secondary issues as well. There are severe burns  around both her wrists, and what look like brands. Were you aware of this?" he sounds suspicious, which is reasonable. Though there's really no good way to explain the binding. Of course he would get himself shot before it healed. He always has to make things difficult for everybody just all the time.

            "I've been out of town. Our sister is ill, the other one. I was going to be taking care of her, but Lucy is always just too much of a handful." Raphael hedges. Was Michael arrested? Is that why he's not here or answering his phone? After that incident on her birthday, that must be it. Of course.

            "I see. Well, my prayers are with you both." The doctor says, clearly not liking his attitude about the whole thing and leaves, taking the signed papers with him.

            Just everything Lucifer is involved in is difficult, inconvenient, and needlessly complicated. If the police are involved to this extent, he'll need some assistance.  Raphael finds himself longing for the days that he could just display his wings and take his charges or smite the wicked and people would just accept that. None of this undercover, espionage nonsense. He can see the police outside the room talking to the doctor. disappearing now would just bring trouble. Fortunately ordinary policemen don't usually speak Enochian.

             "Raphael?" Castiel sounds a bit confused as to why his brother has contacted him, and on a phone in the bargain.

             "There is a situation. Police are involved. I believe Michael may have been arrested but I'm not certain. Some assistance from the FBI might be helpful." It really stings to ask help from them especially for this.

            "Tell me what's happened." So Raphael sums up what he knows, doing his best to include the important details. Castiel is silent for a moment as he takes it in.

            "This is unexpected." Is his unhelpful, uninsightful reply. "When the police arrive to talk to you, say nothing. Answer nothing but the most basic demographic questions according to the backgrounds prepared for you by Gabriel. I believe Claire and Krissy are in the area on a case. refer to them as your handlers, Agents Melissa Bullock and Sandra McCarthy. I'll have one of the students search the police database to see if Michael is incarcerated anywhere. If you need anything else, call me."

             "Thank you. Do not, and I repeat, do not tell Gabriel any of this, understand? As far as she's concerned, I'm still recharging in heaven. Keep her blood pressure stable and make sure she behaves in regards to sweets." Raphael looks to the door as he hears someone clear their throat. "I have to go. The police are here."

             "I understand. Say nothing." Castiel hangs up the phone seconds before Raphael does.

             "Ms. Akupara. May we have a word with you?" the darker one asks politely.

             "If you're here to tell me where my brother Michael is and what happened to my sister, no."

             "Yes, Lucy. You told the nurse she was adopted?" The other officer gives her a penetrating glare that's probably supposed to be intimidating.

             "I was being facetious. My siblings and I share a father and don't look much alike, but as the darker one I'm generally the one questioned the most. It gets tiring." She stares at him right back. "What happened to my sister?"

              "Lucy was the victim of a mugging in the park early this morning around three am. Do you have any idea what she could have been doing out so late?"

              "I wasn't here, but knowing Lucy, stargazing. Though I have no idea she'd be in the city. Was our bother with her? Do you know where he is?" The police officers just glance at each other. Clearly they are going to be uncooperative. He's tempted to just pluck the information from their heads but having that would be suspicious and he's not entirely sure he could do so gently, given his level of irritation.  Granted everything he could do right now would be suspicious. He hates having ot deal with human police.

              "While we are investigating the mugging, it was just a random incident. A bit more concerning for us are the burns on her wrist. Ms. Akupara, your sister seems to have been branded in a very cruel fashion. Combined with a report on record from a few months ago, it's looking very bad for you and your brother."

              "Ah. I see. And this speculative intimidation couldn't wait until I found out if my sister will survive surgery or not? We are done here. Unless you're escorting my brother to me, or telling me you found who hurt my sister, I don't want to see either of you back here without a warrant."

            "I wouldn't advise taking that stance, Ma'am. If you don't have anything to hide.." the darker one tries to manipulate him, but after dealing with Lucifer for weeks, the attempt is almost laughable.

            "I am a frustrated dark skinned woman with a delicate and vulnerable white injured, possibly abused pretty little sister. Tell me in what world am I not just presumed to be guilty of something regardless of any other facts or evidence? Get a warrant or get lost." Raphael takes out his phone and takes a picture of the officers. "Now show me your badges again, I want a copy of your numbers."

 

            "Excuse me." the door to the conference room opens and in walk two young, fresh faced women in cheap suits. one blonde, one brunette. "Agents Bullock and McCarthy." the brunette nods to the officers interrogating Raphael. The girls display their badges, just long enough for the to almost get a good look. "We're Ms. Akupara's handlers."

            "Do you mind telling us exactly what you're doing with our witness?" The blonde demands as she puts her badge away.

             "What?" The taller, potbellied one blinks. "Let me see those badges again."

             "Oh, he's skeptical." The blonde takes it back out. "That's right, grandpa, they let women into the company now." She holds it ridiculously close to his face.

              "Gave us our own guns and everything." The brunette does the same.

             "No, you just looks very young, that's all." He flushes at the blatant accusation of sexism.

            "Trying to flatter us? Let me explain something to you officer." The blonde leads him aside towards his partner as Krissy sits on the table next to  Raphael.

             "Hey. Sorry we're late." She shakes her head, speaking in Enochian fairly impressively. "Traffic, Claire misplaced her badge. here's the deal, you and your siblings extracted Lucy from this... weird satanic cult. You're working with us to bring it back down. Those burns and brands they use for higher members. Lucy took them voluntarily to go back in under cover eventually and help us take them down. You're being uncooperative because you're not supposed to be cooperative and Lucy will not end her role even slightly. It's all very quiet-quiet." Raphael represses a smile at the attempt to translate the figure of speech.

            "Is there any word on Michael?"

            "No, not yet. If he's been arrested he hasn't been processed yet. There's no mention of him in any paper work yet, but they're really bad about filing that stuff promptly which is actually pretty good for us. We're going down town to the precinct to talk to the police officers who were at the scene. We'll call you as soon as we find out anything."

             "You'll have to pray. They confiscated my cell phone when I took their pictures." Raphael informs her.

             "Yeah, I don't think we can just start praying in the middle of a police station. We're straining credability as it is." The brunette, Krissy, turns back towards the policemen. "Hey, bluebloods, give the woman back her phone. That is a federally issued phone, what the hell's wrong with you?" The irritated officers glower at her and hands Raphael back his phone.

             "Ms. Akupara?" A nurse reluctantly peer into the room. "Your sisters out of surgery. Would you like someone to take you to her?"

             "I'm not sure, these gentlemen might need to violate my right just a little bit more first." Raphael looks steadily at them.

             "You're... free to go." The tall one waves her away.

             "Damn right she is." Krissy hops off the table and walks Raphael to the door. "I'll be right back. Just going to check on the asset."

             "Well, these kind gentlemen are going to escort me to the precinct and turn everything over to us, isn't that right? Meet me there when you're done." Claire salutes them. "And don't worry, ma'am, we'll find Michael."

             "Thank you." Raphael follows the nurse back to the room.

             "I'm impressed." Krissy comments. "I don't know if I'd have been able to just go alone like that if I was able to smite people or vanish into thin air like you." This elicits a grin from Raphael.

             "Chaperoning Lucy has exercised my restraint in that regard. When did you learn enochian?"

             "I hosted one of your sisters for a year in exchange for lessons. I'd let her take over when it was time for me to sleep or I was done for the day, or emergencies. It wasn't too bad, but holy crap it's overwhelming at times." She shrugs. " Not sure I'd rush to do it again but the enochian comes in handy."

             "Which sister?"

             "Um, Harahel?"

             "The librarian. She's a fairly good teacher. You do her credit."

             "Thank you." Krissy gives a lopsided smile. "Raphael turns his phone back on only to see several missed calls from Alex Jones.      

             "Excuse me a moment." he nods to her and calls Ms. Jones back.

             "Raphael." She gives a sigh of releif, picking up the phone.

             "Has everyone forgotten how to pray?" He snaps.

             "Um, maybe. Look, I'm sorry. I've been trying to reach Michael all morning. He tried to get a hold of me around one am or so but I was just dead to the world and didn't hear it. His texts sounded like he was fairly distressed. Is he okay? Is everything okay?"

              "Lucy's been shot. Someone attempted to rob her. I suppose he was less persuasive than usual. I have no idea where Michael is or what's happened to him if anything. If you hear from him again let me know immediately and insist that he contact me. This is getting ridiculous." An intense feeling of worry starts to fill him. Something happened before the mugging. Why was Lucifer out in the park? Was Michael with him? If not why wasn't he?

               Raphael enters the hospital room and stares down at the unconcious frail looking figure on the bed. Lucifer is nothing but trouble. He should just have been sent back to the abyss. He should be sent back now. Some people never wake up from anaesthesia. Even if the binding interferes, pausing time and suffocating him in his sleep  or just putting pressure on an artery and stopping blood flow to the brain would be fairly easy.

               Raphael sits down in the chair beside him a bit disgusted with himself. Is he truly actively planning his brother's murder? The thought makes him feel cold, but it's Lucifer. He's the devil, satan, the liar, the deceiver, prince of darkness. Why should it even give him pause? Because he's still his big brother, and he's injured and helpless. It shouldn't matter. Not at all, but it does. He can't do it, and he knows it now. Is it mercy? Love? Or just weakness and stupidity. It doesn't matter. It was all doomed to disaster the moment Lucifer was brought back.

              Yet watching someone get the better of Gabriel and her pranks was infinitely enjoyable to watch, even if he was technically on her side. Almost as much as helping pull pranks on him. And Lucifer's responses to the unwanted advances men so frequently made was massively entertaining as well. the sound of his violin, the smile on Michaels face as they danced together. The sight of him battling the chickens in their coop and loosing so terribly. But there's no point in hoping. There isn't. And yet some part of him still does.

               What would it be like? A Lucifer who wasn't selfish, evil, conceited. It's hard to picture. It wouldn't garuntee they would ever get along even so. They never did before. If he be rehabilitated even just enough to coexist with humanity. To be trusted. That would be enough. Those articled Alex printed out has some interesting theories. But to put in practice would be near impossible. And cruel, infinitely crueler than a simple painless murder. So much more painful, but effective healing sometimes has to be. Raphael is a healer not a murderer. At least, he didn't used to be and doesn't want to be still.

              "Hey." Claire walks slowly into the room after what feels like days of waiting for Lucifer to awaken, but was really only hours. "We, um, we found Michael." She sits down on the chair beside him. "So, you know, how they were all talking about what a miracle it was, how such a large bullet penetrated so shallowly and did so little damage?"

              "I believe something like that was mentioned, though 'the devils luck' would be a bit more accurate."

              "Hah, yeah,um... Michael... Michael was there with her, you see, and when the gun went off, he'd placed himself in front of her. It went right, though him and in to her. That's why it did what it did. Why she survived."

               "Where is he? Take me to him right now. Why wasn't I told about this earlier?" Raphael can feel the anger welling up inside him. Michael is hurt and no one saw fit to tell him? Or call him. They called him for Lucifer but for the person he can actually heal?

               "Raphael."Claire says quietly looking at her hands. "The bullet went right thought his heart. He's dead. He died within minutes. I'm sorry. There was no contact information or identification for him. They didn't know who to call."

               "Where is he?" Raphael demands.

               "He's in the morgue, downstairs. They've already done the autopsy. Fairly impressive speed for a city this size. Can you bring him back? If so we should go with you and fudge up the paperwork." Claire stands up.

               "When did he die?"

               "He was pronounced at three oh seven this morning."

               "Then his essence is already in the abyss. Leave it. It will be released soon enough." Raphael stares at Lucifer. He feels oddly unsurprised. If Michael was ever to die, he knew Lucifer would be the cause, however directly or indirectly. Why is it that he survives? Why? Why does the world always seem to work in his favor that he thrives when better than Lucifer perish and fall? The remnants of their father's love and never ending favoritism? Or just constant infuriating coincidence?

               How will his brother react when told? It's so fitting that Michael was shot straight though the heart, while Lucifer's was missed completely. All with the same bullet. It's downright poetic. Raphael just sits, trying to find some good solution to the situation now before him, waiting for his older brother to open his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry Michael. You deserved better. I wish you'd listened to Luci and not moved, but that's just not in your nature, I know. We'll get you back, I promise. But for now, know that your sacrifice was not in vain. Rest up and dream of sweeter days.
> 
> Had a hell of a writing spree. So there should be a lot of chapters going up very quickly. Enjoy. Things are just starting to get interesting. And remember, sometimes, death is only the beginning.


	28. Where the heart is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer wakes up, is in extreme denial, pisses off Claire, and gets back her minions
> 
> Raphael goes to the abyss to find Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Denny, despite her audacious rebellious nature is really too sweet and kind and empathetic for her own good. I keep trying to extricate her from this but she just won't stay away. I dunno. What is it about the bad boys that we just can't leave them alone?

             Lucifer's first thought upon wakening is that being shot  in the head point blank with the colt didn't hurt nearly this badly. The difference between occupying a vessel and being one, he supposes. The person holding his hand quickly withdraws it. Michael is being bashful it seems. Well, he'll break him of that. Without Raphael to spoil the fun, he'll bring him around. He'll learn to be 'good' and teach Michael to be at least a little bad. Then they'll see which lesson sticks.

           He opens his eyes and looks over to the side.

           "You?" He jerks back, slightly, taken completely by surprise. Obviously thinking someone was holding his hand was just a fading dream.

           "Me." Raphael, stonefaced and solemn, stands above him. Irritation wells up within him.

           "Where's Michael? Did he change his mind? Run away? Why are you here? You can't heal me and wouldn't if you could."   Raphael doesn't even attempt to argue otherwise. "Go back to Gabriel where you'd be of some use for once." A feeling of alarm wells within him, the pain to much to keep at bay. "Is she alright? Is that where Michael is? Did something happen to our sister? Why are you here?"

            "Gabriel is safe at the moment."

            "Then why are you here?" He repeats again, hoping that if he asks it enough times, Raphael will either answer or take the hint and just leave.

            "Because Michael is dead."

             It's curious how everything becomes calm and numb and even the pain seems to just slide away in the absolute certainty that Raphael is lying. Michael tried to sheild him but the bite of the bullet said he clearly moved too late. After all, in what Lucifer had assumed to be his last moments, he heard Michael say his name, Helel. If Michael had been shot it would have been Raphael he would have called out to and he'd have been fine. If his little brother thinks that Lucifer will truly believe that manipulative nonsense he should think again.

            "I suppose it was his turn." Lucifer replies, noting the flash in his brother's eyes at the cool response. Since he's not instantly murdered, obviously Michael is just fine. "Will you please just send him in? I promise I'll behave, I'm in too much pain to do otherwise. Cross the gaping wound that is my heart." he weakly lifts his hand to make an x across his bandaged chest.

             "You think I'm lying? About something like that?" Raphael sounds astonished.

             "It's impossible that you're telling the truth, that's all. Your delivery was very good. But Michael is not going to be killed by a bullet from some human gun in the hands of a pathetic drug addled human mugger. And neither could it do what you said it did.  If you're playing stupid games just because I seduced him let me tell you, you are out of your league, little boy. Now just stop this nonsense and send him back in here. I'm too tired for this."

               Raphael doesn't say anything so Lucifer just closes his eyes and tries to rest, but it hurts too much. He'll have to get Michael to do something about Raphael. It's getting ridiculous. He has to be put back in his place and soon.

 

               The next thing he hears is someone humming a rather catchy tune and flipping a page of a magazine, When he looks over, he sees a young blonde woman in a cheap suit and oddly familiar features.

               "Who are you?"

               "Agent McCarthy at your service. I'm on guard duty for the moment while your brother scours the abyss. He shouldn't be too long. Not that you're going anywhere. But still. You read Cosmo?" She offers a spare publication.

               "No. Which brother?"

               "The only one you currently have. Well, that you'd acknowledge I guess. Still in denial about Michael?" She closes the pages and sits up. "I've arranged for you to see the body if that's what you need."

               "Sure. Why not. Let the charade continue."

               "Oh, just so you know. If you try anything. I will take you out. So...' She pats the gun underneath her jacket.

               "What the hell do you think i can do, you ass?" Lucifer snaps, trying to sit up.

               "You're you. As if you're not going to be up to something." She brings in a wheel chair and an orderly helps lifts him into the chair.  The ride downstairs is bumpy and painful and involves a large elevator that makes him grip the arm of the chair until his knuckles turned white. But the lights stayed on, the elevator moved and the doors soon opened without incident.

               It's hardly the first time Lucifers been in a place of the dead. It's much more hygenic than what they did with bodies before. It looks almost like some kind of perverse cannibalistic kitchen.

               "Hey. This is the little sister." Agent McCarthy greats the mortician.

               "Right. Sorry for your loss. Here." He says rather unconcerned, and goes over to the drawers, opening one and pulling out the tray and body bag, unzipping the top. It's always interesting the difference between a living and a dead body. The weight, the feel, the pallor, that presence or absence of that spark of life. Sometimes he would kill and resurrect someone over and over again just to see the shift and all it's myriad details.

               It looks like a fake Michael. but fake the way an empty vessel devoid of all person hood looks. The numbness returns. Whatever was left without Michael's grace or wings or angelic self is now in the abyss. Which first and foremost begs the question of why Raphael has not simply destroyed him yet. Its impossible that the usurper could have any real affection for him. Especially now that Michael isn't around to restrain him. What does he want? And why does it require Lucifer to be alive?

              "Alright." Lucifer frowns. "You can put that thing away."

 

               Raphael stands before the impenetrable dome of ice. The winds had stilled for him and the mountains parted, but this final barrier between him and Michael remains firm. He can see through it to the chrysalis of flames locked within. the ice breaks it's light, magnifying it to an almost blinding glow, but he can see patches of darkness yet to be purged from Michael's core.

               He can't even get to him to help him heal and return. If the barriers are any indication only Lucifer can. It took Gabriel to fight his way to Raphael, and in Truth, Michael's touch heralded the crack of their brother's shell, though Gabriel's efforts are what drained the darkness away. The damage he can see speaks of eons before he could ever emerge on his own. The faintest shadows on the lesser angels are taking years to purge. Michael's temper, his violence was all that occaisional cruelty due to those stains on his essence? Or did they just cause them?

               Raphael rests his head against the ice and holds up the large vial of Michael's worn and faded grace. The winds wouldn't let him pass without it and Michael can't return at all without it. For Lucifer to pass through and go to him, he'd need this. But to trust the Devil with Michael's grace? no. Michael is lost for as long as Lucifer is. His salvation depends on his brothers. Raphael lets out the bitterest laugh ever heard.

              If he wants Michael back, he needs Lucifer. Getting Lucifer required Michael and Gabriel. And Gabriel may very well die next. He's losing them all over again and once again he can't save a single one. Not that he ever truly tried to get through to Lucifer. He's not that stupid.  His brother holds no regard for him at all. Lucifer cares nothing for him, and never has.

              He should just give up. Just take out Lucifer, leave Gabriel to her fate, whatever it may be and bury himself in the center of the earth to just wait out hte dying of his own grace and the fading light of the world. But of course, he won't. He'll return, take Lucifer home and do what Michael and Gabriel both would wish him to do and put all his strength into fixing him. And when he's done his best and given it his all and failed, Lucifer will rip him apart and devestate the world.

              Raphael takes himself back to the entrance of the abyss. Much to his surprise Castiel awaits him.

              "I'm still here," He reminds him. "We all are. What can we do to help?"

              '"I don't know. I see no solutions to this problem."

              "Come back to the bunker, we'll discuss it as a family." The invitation is irritating of course, but again there's no good reason hto refuse but his pride.

             "Very well, but Gabriel stays out of this. We can't risk exposing her to think kind of stress. Not in her condition."

             "I believe the stress of sudden catastrophic failure or at least having such severe problems kept for her would result in a far greater risk. She's not stupid and knows her husband too well not to know something is going on. We will need Sam for this so we'll absolutely need to let her know as well." Castiel shakes his head. "We're always keeping secrets and it never ends well."

              "So what are you saying then? Should we tell all secrets? Including telling Lucifer about Gabriel and Sam?" This just earns him a reproachful narrowing of the eyes that seriously tempts Raphael to turn him into a kitten again. Whatever initially gave Gabriel that idea, it just pops into mind now at the oddest moments.

              "You have that 'turn Castiel into a kitten' look. Please don't. My lover is incredibly allergic. You both know this."

              "That has it's own specific look?" Raphael feels a bit astonished.

              "Yes and I am as disturbed by that as you are." Possibly more so as Raphael is the only one who chuckles at the thought.  He doesn't understand why. It;s not that funny. Too much time with Gabriel maybe. Or maybe this is what his little sister meant by having no choice but to laugh and make jokes.

              

 

           Denny paces nervously in the hall outside the empty hospital room. Brett is bringing up flowers but Denny couldn't wait. Shot. Lucy's been shot. It's so hard to believe. You hear about things like this in the news but to have it happen to someone you know...

           She turns around and sees her, sitting in a wheelchair pushed by a nurse and accompanied by a woman in a cheap black suit. Her face is so pale and washed out, she almost looks dead. And the emptiness in her eyes is haunting. She's like a faded hollowed out Lucy doll. Even her hair is a disheveled mess.

           "Lucy!" She calls out waving to her. Lucy lifts her head giving her an odd almost confused look.

           "What are you doing here?" She asks as she reaches the room.

           "You're joking, right? You got shot. I... did you really think I wouldn't..." she stammers.

           "You were fairly clear when we last spoke." Lucy says cooly.

            "You dumped my brother and... and that's not important." Denny waves the disagreement away. "What's important is that you're okay."

           "Do I look okay to you?" Lucy is a little pissy, which is understandable as being shot must be more uncomfortable than even just cramps.

           "You're alive." Denny follows them into the room. The sorority blonde gives her an odd look. "Who are you? Another sibling?"

           "This is Agent McCarthy. She's my 'handler' apparently." Lucy seems underwhelmed about this revelation.

           "Oh, I fucking knew it." Denny's jaw drops. "Angels my ass." She rolls her eyes. Agent McCarthy's eyes widen at this and she gives the now silently laughing Lucy an odd look. The nurse helps her back into her bed and helps tuck her in. "Lucy, I am so sorry. It wasn't just you, I had found out some stuff about myself and I was kind of having trouble dealing. Please say we can still be freinds."

            "Sorry, still no use for freinds. But I do have openings for minions if you'd like to put in an application." She smiles sweetly.

             "Oh, God." Agent McCarthy groans, turning around. "Girl, get the hell out of here before you condemn yourself for all of eternity." She points to the door. Denny just looks her straight in the eye for a moment, then bends over to give Lucy a defiantly passionate kiss. "Yeah, my girlfreind would be shocked. My dads too. Come here, I need to tell you something about your little freind." Agent McCarthy beckons Denny with her finger. Denny just flips her off.

             "You know, I've actually missed you." Lucy says with what actually feels like unneccesary incredulity. Denny gives her the wink and the gun.

             "Wait, no. Maybe that one was in poor taste." She pantomimes unloading her finger gun and putting it away. Lucy actually laughs so hard at this, tears start to leak out of her eyes.

             "Ow. Please don't make me laugh again."

              "Can we talk? Alone?" Denny looks over to Agent McCarthy.

              "You and me, yes. You and her? Abso-fucking-loutely not."

              "Are you really that dangerous? Or are they just major dicks?" Denny asks her freind. Lucy considers.

              "Can't it be both?" She shrugs.

              "So how'd you get shot anyways? Mr. Healy was too drunk to be coherant. He kinds of has it bad for your brother you know."

              "Jeff Healy? Yeah, I know. And we were getting robbed. It was fine until some idiot calls my phone. It scared him and bam, one bullet took out me and Michael both." Lucy shoots her own finger at the wall.

              "Oh my god, is he okay? Where is he?" Denny takes her hand.

              "The morgue. He's dead." Lucy looks down at their hands. She says it so nonchalantly. She must be joking. "I told that stubborn idiot not to move." It's like Denny can hear her heart breaking quietly behind the words. She's not joking.

               "Oh my god." She covers her mouth. "Oh God. Lucy." She leans forwards just resting her cheek against Lucy's, careful not to put any weight against her or her torso. "You can cry." she whispers, "It's okay, you can just cry on my shoulder and no one will see." Lucy doesn't, but she does put her arms around Denny's back and hold on gently for just a moment.

               "It's fine." Lucy says, letting go. "Really."

               "Okay. But I'm here for you. We're here. Brett too. He's buying flowers downstairs. If you need us just... just call..." Denny feels like she's going to just start crying all of Lucy's tears for her any second now.

               "Hello?"Brett peers inside the room, half concealed by several bouquets of flowers shoved into the arms of an enormous bear. "Where should I put these?"

              Agent McCarthy just looks at them, shaking her head in disgust. What is her problem anyways? Her and April, it's ridiculous the attitude they have towards Lucy. And beyond that, completely unprofessional. Obviously this woman is new to the bureau or wherever but still, this is not acceptable.

               "Can I get you anything? We can go break into your house and snatch stuff from your room. You got shot, so you'll probably be stuck here for a while and April's a punative bitch, so.. sorry" she quickly apologizes as Lucy's eyes get a bit dark at the insult to her sister.

                "I'll make a list."Lucy gives her a smile. "I'd text you but I don't know what happened to my phone, if the guy got away with it or just tossed it."

                "Probably taken as evidence if it wasn't taken. you'll have to get a new one." Agent McCarthy sits back down picking up a magazine.

                 "I brought some cards if you want to play poker." Brett pulls up a chair after depositing the flower bear by the sink.

               "Alright."

               "Shall we make it intersting? A dollar a hand?" Denny sits on the side of the hospital bed.

               "I'm broke, will you accept sexual favors?" Lucy pouts.

               "Of course."

               "Relax, blondie." Lucy winks in respose to the look she's given by Agent McCarthy. "I don't lose."

                "Yeah, you look down right victorious right now." The look Lucy gives the mouthy agent is positively venemous. But Denny doesn't blame her.

                "You know, she just lost her brother, you bitch." Denny snaps. "You know what, who's your supervisor?" This elicits a laugh from Agent McCarthy who takes out a card and flicks it over to her.

                 "Knock yourself out, kid." Denny just picks it up and takes out her phone.

                "FBI, Agent Sterling, speaking. " Is the light answer.

                "Since when do you guys answer your own phones?" Denny makes a face at the lack of secretary.   

                "Excuse me?"

                "My name is Denny Hanlon and I'm calling about one of your agents, Sandra McCarthy. I'd like to file a complaint."            

                "A what now?" Is he eating something?  

                "A complaint. My freind just lost her damn brother and your agent is being rude, insulting and totally inappropriate. she's supposed to her handler but she obviously does not know how to treat a seriously injured and greiving teenage girl. Now I am willing ot take this all the way to the top if I have to so you talk to your woman and get her to shake the fuck up." Denny hands the phone to Agent McCarthy, who walks out into the hall. "Finally."

                  "What?!" They hear the agent exclaim after a minute.

                  "Denny, my darling Denise." Lucy holds out her hands.  Denny reaches out, taking them fondly. "You are by far my favorite minion of all time."

                  "Love you,too, baby." Denny smacks her a kiss. After a minute, Agent McCarthy walks back in, her jaw set.

                  "Ms. Pivensie, I apologize for my insensitivity and I'm very sorry for your loss." She says through clenched teeth. "At least as much as you are." Lucy just ignores her and goes back to the card game, proceeding to take every dollar the twins have.

 

                  Lucifer doesn't expect to wake up again. He didn't intend to go to sleep with that obvious hunter in the room, but they gave him medication and it just plain knocked him out. He must really look pathetic.  If you look helpless or innocent enough, they hesitate. Lilleth used that all the time. Though he honestly prefers Denny's spunky righteousness.

                   "Good evening, brother." Oh joy, Raphael is back. And call him brother? Lucifer looks over to him.

                   "Finally come back to kill me?"

                   "No." Raphael says flatly.

                   "Is Gabriel out of danger? Have you revived Michael? Why are you here?"

                   "I am here because of you. Michael's not coming back. We can't retreive him from the abyss."

                   "You.  You mean, YOU can't retrieve him from the abyss." Is Lucifer's cool reply.

                   "Yes."

                   "I suppose giving me back my grace so I can go do it myself is out of the question."

                   "Yes."

                    "So you're going to let your feelings about me condemn Michael to endless nightmares in the abyss."

                    "No. I am simply going to leave our sister in the best available hands and take care of you because that's what they both wish me to do. Beyond that we are not going to discuss Gabriel. We are also not going to discuss what you did to Michael."

                    "With." Lucifer smirks, correcting him. "With Michael. He was a very active participant every step of the way."

                    "Enjoy the memory." Raphael gives him a stony glare. "I'm sure it'll be quite satisfying thinking of something you will never have again, and you won't feel the least heart broken and deprived." Lucifer's not sure if he's being entirely sarcastic or just partially, or even which would be worse. Why is it this one left? This useless, disrespectful no consequence brat? It's just not fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, Dean is really more concerned for any potential backlash against Claire than for Lucifer's delicate feelings. He's really prefer she not be there in the first place but she is a well respected, successful hunter and if Castiel can trust her there, then he can, too.


	29. Transferance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Denny learns that drunk people make bad decisions
> 
> Raphael needs his therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to apologize in advance for this one. Denny kind of reminds me a bit of Gabriel. I'm fairly sure she makes Luci think of her too which is why Lucifer is actually fond of her despite himself. I mean sure he'd sacrifice her for his own welfare if he had to, but he'd feel bad about it afterwards and probably regret it, which is really saying something since she is just some random human he was pursuing. Denise is a truly good person and her role is important, if not pleasant.

             "I don't know if we should really be getting involved with Lucy again." Brett says to Denny as they sit out on the roof top watching the meteor shower. "She's bad news, Denny."

              "So am I." Denny touches his arm as she so often does to soften him up, but this time the forboding just grows stronger.

              "No, I mean it," Brett frowns. "You heard what she said. She's dangerous. And I really think something's not right about this whole thing."

              "I know." Denny hugs her knees. "But I just found out what's not right wit me. Whatever's not right with her, it shouldn't mean she has to be going through it alone and friendless."

              "Denise." Brett just puts a hand on her shoulder.

               "You know what's funny? I don't actually feel like a boy. I never particularly felt like a girl, I just felt like me. Of course now I know I'm some kind of.. I don't know. I can't say freak because I don't think transgender people are freaks, but I kind of feel like maybe major cosmetic surgery shouldn't be done on a damn infant, you know? And booster shots my ass." Denny scowls at the thought of all the lies fed to her all those years. At least her mother didn't try to make her feel like a girl or act like a girl should act. Denny could be Denny even if she wasn't quite so well behaved as she should be."

               The gynecology specialist and hormone shots, the ultra strict public nudity taboos make more sense now. A rare condition indeed. Known as being given a vagina after a surgeon fucked up the frank and beans during a conjoined twin separation. It's weird and annoying and raises a lot of questions about her brother and his gender identity and sexuality.

               "Did you find Michael as ridiculously hot as I did?" She finally asks, giving into her curiosity.

               "Maybe not quite as hot." Is the quiet embarassed reply. "Did you really find Lucy as hot as I do?"

               "Maybe not quite as hot, but yeah. Oh my god that kiss. I'm surprised my original equipment didn't just spontaneously grow back right then and there."

               "Oh my god." Brett laughs. "Denny..."

               "And at least now I know why I haven't gotten my period. Granted being sterile sucks ass but you can just father my children for me, so no biggie. I just have no uterus to carry them with. We'll need a egg donor and surrogate. Or you can just sleep with my wife, If I have one."

                "First off that fathering your children comment did not come out the way you intended I hope."

                "Ew, no. though I have always wondered. If identical twins fool around is it incest or just matur..."Brett's hand quickly covers her mouth. "bmmmfffn." she finishes,

                "It's fucked up, that's what it is. Now I'm go back to bed. You should too you're getting punchy." he climbs back through the window. "We'll talk more in the morning. But not about that you freak."

                "Yeah, yeah." Denny waves him off. "Hey I still have a prostate. How weird is that?"

                "Good night, Denny."

                 "But that's actually  good because they did not craft this baby with sexual functioning in mind, I can tell you that much. Hey, if I get some more work done, I don't suppose you'd be willing to donate your foreskin to the cause."

                 "Jesus Christ, Denny! Go the fuck to sleep!" Is the horrified response. Denny just laughs and looks out at the street. The light is absolutely gorgeous over the stream with that ridiculously high arched bridge, the shooting stars looking as if they're falling into the river at points.   Can sail boats even sail on that stream anymore? One day in the past maybe but the water table is much too low now. no. All that thing is good for is suicide and maybe fishing. Well, it's be an awkward suicide and the fishing sucks. It is pretty, though.

                 And some drunk is wailing in the streets. Oh, it's Mr. Healy. he's going to get the crap beaten out of him if he doesn't quiet down. Seriously. there are meaner drunks than him in this town and it is about that time. She'd better go down and steer him home. One good thing about drunk gay guys is that they don't hit on teenage girls. Though since she's supposed to be a boy really, does it really count? How the hell would that work pheromone wise?

                 Does this whole thing mean she'll attract gay guys and straight women and bisexuals? Or transgender women or what? Man this is a mess. And she thought that having a crush on her brother's girlfreind was as complicated as her love life would get. she drops down and walks over ot the staggering man on the bridge.

                  "Hey, Mr. Healy." she greets him chipperly.

                   "Heyy, Deneeese." He forces a smile. "You have to be in bed, It's too little for a late girl to be out."

                  "You know you're right. But I'm lost. Can you help me find my house? it's right next to yours."

                  "No. No, no, no." he hiccups and turns back towards the bridge. "I gotta go. I gotta... I gotta stop now."

                  "Stop what?" She jogs after him trying to turn him back around.

                  "I just gotta stop. It's better. It'll be better."he pats her hand and turns around and around a few times before seeing the bridge again.

                  "Mr. Healy? Are you okay?" Denny asks gently, catching him when he staggers.

                  "Bettrn Mike." he starts crying again.

                   "Oh, I know." she gives him a hug. "I know. You like him so much."

                   "You know he was the first straight guy r watever that made out with me while drunk that didn't try to kick my ass later?"

                   "That happen alot?"

                   "Eh, enough. It's hard to tell who's straight or not when they start kissing you, you know or let you kiss them. He was sweet and such a good brother and I kill.. I killed 'im."

                   "Funny, you don't look like a drug crazed mugger." Denny turns him back towards their houses.

                    "No, I called n I called n I called because I cudnt find 'er n I was there and dint,,, just,,, there, on top. right there and he just BCHHHMMM!" Mr Healy spreads his arms out, knocking Denny back a bit. 

                    "Ow. Easy there."

                    "Sorry, sorry, sorry. God, I just... so much blood...." he looks at his hands. "I dint mean to. I dint.. I dint.. go... go home. It's okay, Just go home. It's so loud...." Mr. Healy pats her back again. "Did you know? So loud, just BRAWWMW! And the blood and that bloood. I killed Mike..."

                    "Mr. Healy, it wasn't your fault." She soothes him, though realizing what he's talking about makes her feel a little sick. He made that call that scared the mugger. And he was so close. Michael probably died in front of his eyes, or in his arms. "I swear it wasn't."

                     "I called n he shot ecause I call and I called Dennee. I... I just gotta go."

                    "Right. You gotta go to bed. C'mon... ow.."Denny stops as a bit of glass sinks into her heel. "Damn it." She looks down and limps out of the way of the broken bottle before checking her foot. just a small peice but big enough to pull out fortunately. "Great, more shots." She sighs and looks up for Mr. Healy. "Holy shit!" She runs towards him as he climbs over the rusty hand rail. "No, no, no!" Denny grabs his sleeve.

                     "I gotta go. I gotta go."

                     "NO. You... you can't. You have to stay Mr. Healy." She clutches hard as he tries to slide out of the shirt. "Jeff! Jeff... you have to stay."

                     "Mike... I gotta .. gotta say..."

                     "You have to stay. For Mike... for.. for Lucy!" Denny shouts.

                     "Lucy..."

                     "Who's going to take care of Lucy now? Oh, Mr. Healy, you have to help her. Mike can't do it now, right. And you know her sister just hates her and how much Mike loved Lucy. He needs you, Jeff.  He needs you to take care of her for him now that he can't. You have to take care of Lucy."

                      "I have to take care of Lucy?"

                      "He was your friend and he needs you to take care of Lucy now that he's gone. Who else could? Celia? Shawn? Please." Denny grabs his collar and pulls him back towards the rail when he hesitates, making him tumble over it. And tumble he does, right onto this head, landing unconscious onto the curb. "Of course." She sighs and pulls out her phone. "Hello? 911? This is Denny Hanlon on the riverview bridge in Sunnyvale. Jeff Healy has fallen and hurt his head and is unconscious and kind of suicidal so I really need someone here before he wakes up and tries to jump again, like now..... yeah he's breathing, pulse, sure. no blood,. he is drunk but still... thanks. I'll be right here." Denny sighs and hangs up the phone.  Why do people drink and get this fucking sad when they can get high and laugh their asses off instead? Speaking of which, Denny takes out a joint and lights up. she'll have enough time for a puff or two. she knows most of the available peramedics and they all get high too.

                     Well, that was quick. She sheilds her eyes from the high beams that flash in her eyes for a moment, coming around the bend, hiding the joint behind her on instinct. It's only when she hears the screeching of the brakes that she realized the oncoming car isn't flashing sirens or even turning  enough not to crash right into....

 

                     Alex walks out into the living room, towel drying her hair and jerks back, hiding behind the pantry door as she sees Raphael standing in the dark. She knows it's him because he has a particular silence to him that she really has no idea how she does it.

                    "Holy... Raphael."She wraps the towel around herself. "You really need to call first."

                     "I broke the phone. I apologize."

                     "Okay, um... let me dress real quick and I'll be right back." she hurries into her bedroom and tosses on a sundress. she's been waiting to hear from him since she heard about Michael, but it's been almost a week and nothing. "Okay. Hey." She turns on the light. There are tears streaming down the sides of his face.

                     "It won't stop." he says blankly. "I can't make it stop."

                     "You shouldn't." She goes over to him and puts her arms around him. "Just let it go. It's okay." He tenses a moment before just burying his face in her shoulder and holding onto her in return as he lets his tears silently flow with just hitching breaths as he still can't quite give in completely. "It'll help. I promise. You have plenty to cry about.  'It's just a purge, what your body it's supposed to do."

                     "It's not my body." But just speaking is enough to break the remnants of the dam.

 

                     Alex is incredibly envious of the ease in which he returns his face to it's pre tearful state. Just a brush of the fingers across the cheekbones and no swelling, no redness, no filled aching sinuses. He looks embarrassed though, and deeply uncomfortable now.

                      "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep my bounds." Alex hands him a mug of peppermint tea. He won't drink it, but he does seem to like the warmth and scent of the herbal teas.

                    "No, it... it helped." he glances away." I've been in this body too long. I've let myself connect with it. I shouldn't have. There's no host to damage by severing that connection this time."

                     "No?"

                     "No." And he refuses to expand on that even slightly.

                     "So what brought on the water works?" Alex asks gently.

                     "Denny Hanlon has died. I found out days after and her soul is not in heaven so I could not revive her even so. I can only assume her association with Lucifer has condemned her to hell. It's absurd. She's a human child who disliked me and loved Lucifer. Her fate should not affect me so."

                     "Maybe it's just the straw that broke the camel's back. With everything that's happened, I'd be surprised if you weren't already on the edge."

                      "I've bourne worse."

                     "Maybe not."

                     "I lost fledgeling angels to their own fears and flightlessness. I've watched my brother kill each other and destroy themselves from within. I've last neices and nephews and human mothers to the nephilim scourge. I've seen millions die in plagues, wars, and been told to do nothing. I've lost my brothers and sisters once before already. I've killed some, sent some to their deaths and lost... I've lost." he can't say whatever it is, meaning clearly that he should at some point. "After the first few Days, I didn't even shed my feathers with greif. And after the eighth, the hurt just went away, taking my tears with it and all I felt was tired and cross. Losing a human girl I had no real relationship with should not have done this to me."

                     "Raphael. It didn't. You just lost Michael to his first death," It strikes her as incredibly odd to have to specify something like that. His first death.  How is this her life?" He was the person you structured your entire existence around." Alex reaches out to touch his hand. He doesn't draw away or stare it away.

                     "He's not lost. He's just... unavailable And will be for a very long time. Possibly Days." his voice gets very small at that last fragment.

                     "That's still a loss, Raphael. You're forced to live in a world without him in it. That counts."

                     "He was willing to take back his grace. To guard  Lucifer better and I told him not to. I never wanted him to give it up in the first place but I told him not to. If I hadn't.. if I hadn't he'd be fine. Even if nothing else had changed, he'd be fine." Raphael buries his face in his hands.

                     "Why did you? Tell him not to."

                     "I was tired of seeing him sacrifice pieces of himself for us. For Lucifer or because of him. This was something he was doing for himself, finally. And he was smiling and happy more than I'd seen him in so very long and I just wouldn't let Lucifer take that from him again. I should have known he would have regardless."

                     "I don't think you can blame this on Lucifer." Alex squeezes his hand, though she knows it's not what he wants to hear.

                    "Of course, I can. He was only there in the first place because of him."

                    "But Lucifer didn't pull the trigger, and I'm fairly sure he was trying very hard not to get shot. Michael died because...."

                    "Because he tried to protect him. It all goes back to Lucifer. It always does. And still I couldn't make myself kill him. Everything he's done, everything he's caused and I couldn't kill him." Raphael sounds so very disgusted with himself.

                   "Call me crazy, Raph, but I don't think not being able to murder your brother in cold blood is something you should be ashamed of." Alex smiles weakly.

                  "I've killed angels for less than he's done. Why should I hesitate for the worst of them?"

                   "Because you love him, even if you don't want to. Because he's your brother. Because you've changed from those days, even if you don't think so. Because murdering brothers is something Lucifer does and you're better than that. I could go on." Alex straightens back up, letting go of his hand.

                   "I murdered Castiel."

                   "That's not the same and you know it. I've killed vampires I knew, but they weren't my brothers. You weren't close. He wasn't there from the beginning. You didn't grow up together.  That means something even if you wish it didn't. You feel something even if you wish you didn't, you can't help it. Even if they're monsters they're not... always monsters." Alex leans back on the sofa. "Believe me, I know. Ahhh, I shouldn't be talking. You should be talking. I always talk too much in these things."

                   "I don't mind."

                   "I know, but you deserve to be listened to. I know you have so much to say but you just never do. Like... Why did you like Denny? I know you did. What was it about her that made you think that this human is worth your attention? Even enough to consider resurrecting her, even if you couldn't." Raphael doesn't say anything for the longest time.

                    "She reminded me of Meli. She wasn't like her, at all. Meli was soft spoken, demure, but commanding when called for. Her voice was the sweetest most gentle thing I'd ever heard." Like Lucifer, the thought comes to mind that Alex knows better than to ever, ever say or even think again lest he hear it and never enter her presence again. "Denny was just different, physically, and that was it. That was all it took and I thought of Meli and somehow that girl became important."

                   "Meli, meant so much to you that even a thing that evoked her memory becomes precious?"

                   "Meli was my dearest love. My vessel, if my loving a human wasn't odd enough. Meli gave me hope that maybe there was something in humanity worth everything I'd been through and when they destroyed my beloved I knew that there wasn't and never could be. Meli was a wonderful abberation, a shining light snuffed out as every light before and after. And ever light I see even close to hers just.. .dies. I should have known Michael was next when he began to shine again."

                   "Isn't that the point of souls, though? That they don't actually die? They just go elsewhere? And with reincarnation in effect now, they will shine again. Besides, every light that gets snuffed gets replaced by another and another over and over." Alex points out, though she knows that philosophy isn't really the way to approach him. Not that she's really figured out how, not completely.

                    "Perhaps. It doesn't matter. I left two continents to their destructions in vengeance for that loss. Even if I found that soul again, I would never be forgiven."

                    "Two continents?"

                    "The plagues that ravaged North and South America in columbus' time. The Spanish brought Pestilence with them and he created diseases that felled so many people. It would have been easier had I been allowed to just destroy him, but to contain and incapacitate him was so much harder. I barely managed it. It was Meli who gave me the idea how to bind him in the earth, trapped in a frozen tundra."

                     "You know, I have to ask, but everything I've heard says that a vessel is completely overtaken by the angel possessing it. And what happened to yours... This sounds more like you were... partners. copilots even."

                     "We were. I... did leave my last few vessels unconscionably damaged, I admit. I severed any and all connections between us to the point that they could not function. It was cruel and selfish and I make no excuses. It is easier to assume control. The vessel is less likely to interfere with the mission or cast us out if we take over completely. You can be very opinionated creatures. And even then with a strong enough will, you can take over completely. Look at what Sam did to Lucifer. I have to admit I was incredibly impressed. I was less than pleased with his decision to drag Michael down with him, but it's a prime example of the difficulties inherent in using vessels.

                    "But often they have a familiarity with the people and the land that is better accessed through cooperation. At least back in the days before the internet, where information was a rare valuable commodity. Both can benefit from the exchange. It seems the practice of cohabiting a vessel is coming back into practice with the hunter's training and angelic school of humanity the winchesters are operating. It's a good things. Things are becoming as they should be again. And blanket murder and condemnation for unexplained phenomena is not nearly as common as it once was.

                      "If they had let her live, if she had only called to me when they first attacked, she would have been their salvation, all of them. But they burned her in a bonfire of holy oil as a witch. So I turned my back on them once my task was done. I'd promised my love to take care of the people and I betrayed them instead."

                       "It sounds to me like they're the ones who betrayed the both of you."

                        "They didn't know what they were doing. They just say their preistess possessed of an unfamiliar spirit, they possibly witnessed one of our... interludes. I tend not to use my angelic powers entirely appropriately. Though rarely quite that way." Raphael looks more bashful than she's seen him yet. How do you become intimate with a body you inhab... oh, never mind. Alex blushes and looks away herself. "It was a misunderstanding. But I knew what I was doing when I left and millions of innocent people died for my negligence. I'm no better than Lucifer. I'm a healer that abandons and destroys. I lost almost everything I was meant to be. I abandoned Michael and..."

                        "Stop." Alex says firmly. "You did not abandon Michael and you know it. Never, not once, you were the glue that held him together and he knew it, knows it. And yes, you lost your way, but you know it and you're trying. Lucifer won't even admit anything is wrong. Don't compare yourself to her. You at least try to see yourself as you are and... hold on."  she goes over to her computer and tries to search for something. "Crap. I can't find it. It was this quote about how you can tell a good man or a wise man by the size of his mistakes because a fool would never be put in such an important position. It's pretty inspirational, but I guess I mean, you can't condemn yourself for making mistakes and occaisionally being selfish or chosing the wrong thing when you think it's right. Not when you're trying to make it right."

                     "I didn't think it was right. I simply didn't care."

                     "Well, you do now. And don't even try to tell me that if you hadn't been hurt so badly by so much you'd still have tried to protect yourself with apathy and nihilism. You spent so much of yourself taking care of everyone else and you just ran out of it. Who takes care of you Raphael? Who heals you? Michael had you to hold him together. Who do you have?"

                     "At the moment, you."

                     "Oh, um, thank you. But the paint I was making is that you had to be so strong for every one for so long and it was just too much. Even Bree admitted how much you were there for her in those first days, and in a very public forum if you recall. So what if you broke under the strain? That's not your fault. That's just what happens gives enough time and not enough care. Things break down and stop working the way they're supposed to. Even people. Even angels."

                     "I'm not going to lie, Raphael. You fucked up, Big time, several times, not now I mean, but look... Everyone I know has and they keep going and make it better and that's what's important isn't it?" Alex looks back to the coffee table and pauses. The coffee cup packed with honey sticks is still there from when she set it out after waking to Michael's last texts. She should have put them away, but she couldn't bring herself to touch them. Knowing for a fact that he's not lost for good and just inaccessible really doesn't help at all. It's still a loss just as she told Raphael. She might never see Michael again in her lifetime. Never again to hear his voice and watch him grow and heal or help him do it.

                      "If you need to cry, that's alright as well." Raphael says gently, noting her gaze.

                      "I'm fine. I have Rhys, and Claire and Jody and just tons of people really. Wednesday will just be that much emptier for a while," She gives a deep sigh. "What's going to happen with Lucifer? I know you need to be with Bree because of the whole pre-eclampsia and diabetes thing."

                      "I'm going to have to try to fix him. and if I can't, Castiel has agreed to send him back to the abyss. I can't do it myself, but I do know it needs to be done." Raphael tightens his lips. "I suppose if anyone has the right to do it, he does. Lucifer did kill him once."

                      "You're going to fix her? How?"    

                      "He's nothing but lies and illusions and twisted reflections. I just need to make him face the truth and hope he survives it."

                      "Oh is that all." Alex can't help her sarcasm. but he doesn't seem to take it amiss.

                      "At the core of every malignant narcissist is a deep wound. One so bad that every terrible destructive, malignant behavior that they're compsed of is basically just what they've built up in armor against that wound. At least according to theory, correct."

                       "Yes, I suppose."

                       "I just have to go in, find it, and force him to see."

                       "She's not going to cooperate with that, and you can't force a patient to talk or tell the truth. If she's not willing to cooperate you can't just..."

                       "You can't." Raphael interrupts. "But you forget that he's almost entirely human now and I'm not. I can access his mind and memories. I can't force him to believe or think what i want him to but I can force him to look. I will be violating every inch of the sanctity of his being to do so, but I can do it. the trick will be keeping him from building that same armor back up all over again. That's where we went wrong, It might have worked if we'd known how to approach it. You can't treat someone like that like a normal empathetic every day individual. It backfires. It backfired. He was just being built up entirely the same all over again."

                      "Then, it's a two part plan and first part is you're just going to go all Ghost of christmas past on her?"

                      "Not exactly. It's more like that bit in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader where Aslan tears the dragon skin from Eustace except I'll be doing it while said dragon is trying desperately to peel off my own. It he weren't trapped and defined by his humanity, I wouldn't have a chance. But there are cracks and there is a truth to be found, I just have to find it."

                       "She couldn't hurt you, could she?"

                       "Wrestling with the very core of someone's being in an insanely strenuous activity. It's more that i might hurt myself with the effort, but i won't let it get that far. Gabriel needs me. I won't let her down again." Raphael shakes his head.

                         "Good. Don't sacrifice yourself. You can't help anyone if you're dead or crippled or something. I'd speak to you of your own worth and value but I doubt you'd really pay attention to that yet. But you are, you're worth more than just some sacrificial pawn." Raphael of course, just rolls his eyes and puts down the tea.

                        "I have no intention of suffering or sacrificing myself voluntarily for Lucifer of all angels. Thank you, Alex. And I will call first the next time I feel the need to see you outside of our appointments." And he's gone. She should have asked if her prayers might help. Gabriel had mentioned they helped give angels strength. Her phone beeps, revealing a text from Raphael.

                         'Prayer always help if you mean them.' And a little pumpkin emoji. She grins and goes to compose some prayers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to apologize yet again for Denny. But don't be too sad. Brett now has his soul back, and even if we don't think that's worth losing Denise, she would if she knew. And don't worry. I'm still looking out for my OFCs even if it doesn't seem like it.
> 
> The pumpkin emoji is a Peanuts reference. It's referring to it's the great pumpkin Charlie Brown. The great pumpkin chooses the most sincere pumpkin patch. So pumpkin emoji equals faith and sincerity. They had a conversation about the religious overtones of the comic strip once, so it was kind of an in joke between them. I'd have been surprised if you did get it, so I just thought I'd explain.   
>  In truth his sessions with Alex often tend to either end abruptly or veer off into intellectual discussions of literature, pop culture, or psychological concepts. She enjoys it so much that she just makes sure not to have anything planned after their sessions just in case. Rhys is a darling, devoted love, but he's not really an intellectual.


	30. The Excortication of Luci

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer tries to charm Raphael out of whatever unpleasant thing he has planned for his older brother.
> 
> Raphael battles Lucifer inside his own mind on the fields of his memories.
> 
> excortication- the act of stripping off the outer protective layers. Ex. like the bark from a tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kind of clear to me from the beginning that if Lucifer was going to be saved, to be healed, it had to be Raphael who healed him. That's who he is, a healer. And with such a consummate narcissist, it would have to be someone who could see through him completely. No one else could break through the countless layers of armor made of lies that the narcissist makes to protect themselves. But it comes at a price, as a narcissist would never have any use for someone they couldn't fool, in truth they'd probably despise them beyond measure. It seems a raw deal to have Lucifer and Raphael hate each other so deeply, despite the inextricable bits of love and fondness they have for each other buried down even deeper.  
> They both pretend to see nothing of value in each other, while secretly feeling slightly inferior in some way, and it's kind of sweet and sad at the same time. But if this weren't the case, they wouldn't be in the unique positions they're now in and will be in later on, to be each other's salvation and have the kind of relationship they would have eventually had if Lucifer hadn't been poisoned by the mark so very early on.  
> Raphael isn't always very nice either. He's actually a bit of a bastard at times, but again, he kind of has to be. People too kind sometimes can't force others to see the harsh truths. They try to soften the blow, but sometimes there's just no pleasant way to say it. Definitely not in Lucifer's case. He has to be shown the truth and enormity of what he did and why he did it and face it. It's cruel and painful and has to be done.  
> Sorry for the long note. But it's a long chapter. I tried to split it up but it wouldn't split. So take a bathroom break and get comfy.

 

          Lucifer walks slowly from the car to the cottage. His chest aching at every step. For some reason he was healing reasonably fast. Not beyond the realm of possibility but beyond the usual. All the nurses kept telling him how he was blessed. One especially devout man told him that God's light was shining upon him and though he might only see the darkness, that clearly he was a favored child of the lord and was meant to one day do great good in the world. He didn't know what he wanted more, to laugh or claw the man's face off.

          But it did make him think, and when the doctors had questions about certain odd markings on his ribs on his chest x-rays he saw on a thirteenth pair of ribs, the sigils for good health and accelerated healing. It seems extraordinary that Raphael should have placed those. But it couldn't have been anyone else and it let him leave the hospital in days instead of weeks. Until he saw that he was almost certain that, despite his brother's insistence otherwise, Raphael was going to murder him the moment he left the hospital and was out of public view.

          The cottage is in the same condition it was left in, torn clothing on the floor, the coffee table pushes aside from where they fell off the couch, Michael's journal knocked onto the floor by his chair. The beaded curtain was ripped from the door way and the 'bed' pushes slightly away from the corner from her grabbing the leg at one point. They did accidentally overturn one of the shelves on the bedroom wall in his first orgasm of the night, which was surprisingly before they even lost all their clothes.

          Just thinking about it gives him shivers. But of course, Raphael has to ruin the reminiscence by snapping the house clean and ordered. As if that would erase what they did that night. But he leaves the journal, which he picks up manually, smoothing out the bent pages,  and the mess on the kitchen table that was not there when Lucifer left that night. The fruit bowl is out with a few quinces removed. There must have been something at the bottom of the bowl. Lucifer puts them back and lifts the bowl to shove it away on top of the fridge when he sees the empty jar of honey, still with a spoon in it that definitely wasn't there when he left.

         He doesn't know how long he stands there, just holding the jar or why, but eventually he's forced to sit down from pure weariness. Exhaustion and a broken human body. That's all it is. Michael's absence is nothing. Why should it be? They've been apart longer. He went what felt like eons without any sense of his existence at all when he was in the cage. But they weren't lovers then. No that doesn't matter. It was one night. It doesn't matter and certainly doesn't change anything.  It didn't mean anything. Not really. At all. And Denny, she definitely doesn't matter. His entire life before the last few months went along just fine without that particular toy. It's absence makes no difference now either. None at all.

         Raphael hasn't said a word, only standing silently, as he so often does. It's as irritating as when he speaks. In truth his very existence is nothing but a grating abrasive inconvenience barely mitigated by his healing touch which Lucifer doesn't even have access to at the moment anyhow. Why of all the siblings he has, must it be this one standing behind him, dismissing him, judging him with his eyes as if he even could have the right?

         "I wouldn't get too comfortable" He finally speaks and enters Lucifer's bedroom. The trampoline bed is replaced by a hospital bed. Good, at least he won't have to sleep on the couch this time. His little brother then adds padded restraints to it, which is much less comforting. Is he going to try to reprogram him? The thought is as chilling as it is laughable. Not death but erasure. It never lasts, but even for a short time, to be wiped of everything he is... The thought is down right terrifying and makes him feel almost ill.

          "Erasure, brother? It'd be kinder to kill me."

          "I'm not going to erase you." Raphael says flatly, almost annoyed. "It's tempting to try it, I must admit, but if I was to take an easy path, your death would be far more effective than any other choice I have."

           "You're taking the more difficult less effective option, then? That hardly sounds like you." Lucifer tries to think. His own options are limited. He's bound, reduced, injured. His only potential allies are gone or unreachable. All he has is his voice and that's never been of use against this one. No angel in all of creation has ever thought so little of anything he's ever had to say. It's the most infuriating intolerable unforgivable thing about him, and they both know it. It never mattered before because Lucifer was always so much more powerful, but now... now he's completely at his brother's mercy.

          "Yes, and you know me so very well." The dry sarcastic response is typical Raphael.

          "I do, actually. I did, at least. Maybe you're not the Raphael I knew, not entirely, but you can't have changed so much."

          "You certainly haven't." Raphael takes off his jacket in what seems a deliberate movement. He doesn't have his blade. There's a sinking feeling that Lucifer tries to conceal, though the pain and lack of experience with controlling his features, make it difficult. The faintest hope of somehow getting his weapon from him, as close to impossible as it was, is now gone. Who would he trust with the one weapon that could kill him? Who could he possibly be that close to?  Gabriel? Maybe.

          "I remember my little brother, kind and thoughtful. Gentle, a healer in love with life and growth." Lucifer watches as Raphael turns up his sleeves. "I was unreasonably harsh with you. In those first hours, especially."

           "I don't know. I did almost accidentally cleave you in two while playing with Michael's sword. I'd say your reaction to that was fairly understandable." the words surprise Lucifer. They'd always maintained he'd over reacted to that, seeing as Raphael was just trying to lift it, nothing more, and fell backwards in the attempt. Lucifer had been sitting, braiding grass with his back to his siblings trying to make a lasso to maybe pull the flying Raphael out of the air with in their next match. He didn't see it coming at all. Though mostly his anger was about what wasn't mentioned. Michael had saved Lucifer from the falling blade by throwing himself between them, catching the blade with hand and wing. He nearly lost half of each.  

               Of course it was Raphael who burst into tears not even trying to heal Michael until Lucifer shook him so hard he lost feathers and reminded him of his damn name. Michael spoke so gently to the brat, too. It was infuriating. Lucifer squelches the rising irritation and tries to take back the conversation.

                  "It was an accident. You were so new." Raphael dissappeara and returns with an IV and stand, then again with several needles and vials and bags. "I remember your love for the warm grass of he garden, how you would make it grow into forts and walls or hiding places. "I fell into so many of your little hidden pits I had to stop walking anywhere in there." This actually elicits a smile. Michael pnly made him fill them all back in after Gabriel was made as she'd run so fast and fall so hard she'd actually break limbs against the edges. "You made the first nest ever out of them I recall."

         "It wasnt a very good one. As I also recall you falling on it and smashing the sides."

         "You surrounded it with pits!"

          "There was one pit for holding the extra grasses and my lost feathers. I still can't believe you stole some for that disturbing fan. That thing is as creepy as a shawl made of human hair,"

           "You are entitled to your opinion." Lucifer says through clenches teeth. They're always harping on that thing. "I don't think it's any odder than your infqtuation with Azrael."

           "I was not infatuated with Sariel." He claims. Because people all give nicknames to people they're not extraordinarily fond of.

           "Well, whatever it was between you two, she's the angel of death. You're a healer. I consider that a conflict of interest at the very least."

           "We were training the rit zien. That's all."

           "Of course it was." Lucifer doesn't even try to pretend he's not humoring him. The little brat had a crush on her more obvious than Gabriel's head over heels adoration of that stupid babylonian prophet, Daniel, and he damn well knows it. But arguing the point isn't going to help avert anything that he's planning. "I still have the crown you wove for me from those grasses."

           "Of course you do. It's a crown." Raphael dismisses the attempt, out of hand., then starts to chuckle.

           "What's so funny?"

           "You. Trying to talk me out of this when you don't even know what I'm going to do." he looks genuinely amused. "And appealing to a sense of fraternity to do it."

           "I admit I don't know what you're planning, but i have my doubts it will be anything very pleasant, given our current relationship. " The medical equipment and restraints don't counter act the impression either. One day. One day he'll have the upper hand again and oh, just you wait, Raphael, you little shit, just you wait.

           "Current relationship? Are you imagining it was once any better?" Raphael mocks him, still unaccountably amused. "Or even if you do somehow think so, was it ever anything that would lend you to believe I would ever be swayed by anything you have to say? You? The master of deceit."

            "I thought I was 'the Father of Lies'."

             "That is the title, but it's a deceptive one. You don't actually lie all that much, I've noticed. You're opinionated, wrong, misleading, you never tell the whole truth... Honestly it's usually just lies of omission with you. Nobody is so dishonest with so much truthfullness. It's really kind of astonishing." He actually sounds a little impressed but it's not exactly something that gives Lucifer hope.

             "I mean, Gabriel lies all the time and yet is somehow a thousand times more honest than you are. You danced around the truth with her for so long those first days when she actually looked up to you, that she learned all your moves, only backwards and in heels. You can't really control what people learn from you, I suppose."

              "What are you going to do to me, Raphael?" Lucifer asks quietly. His brother simply looks at him, and stops time.

 

               Lucifer opens his eyes. The tall bright grasses wave around him. It's the garden as it was in the very beginning, as it was before all the lesser fledgelings, soft grasses to run and play and tumble in. Before the trees and hedges were added. When it was just the four of them or less.

              "Well, I suppose this makes sense. We were just talking about this." Lucifer turns to see his brother beside him, back in his true form. The six invitingly soft mossy wings complement the rich browns of the earth that form his body, so much more striking than the flat melanin tones of human skin. He'd forgotten how handsom, his little brother was, how solid. In truth he hasn't seen him, truly seen him since the day he was caged.

               "You brought me to heaven?"

                "No. This is just a memory." Raphael walks forwards. The whole scene moves with him.

               "A memory?" Lucifer follows though he doesn't want to, suddenly the earth disappears beneath his feet and he falls into the floor of a small pit. "RAPHAEL! Stop digging these STUPID HOLLOWS!" he hears himself yell in annoyance.

               "Helel, you are old enough to watch where you're going." Michael flies down beside him, lifting him to his feet. Oh, her true form, not bound into a tiny vessel, all fire and wings, a constant dance.

                "It's camoflauged."

                "Not completely. Look, here and here." Michael points out a few indents in the distance, some patches of grass with newer longer, greener tips, grown more quickly and recently than the rest. "You just weren't paying attention."

                 "I should be able to go for a walk in my own home without having to worry about falling into a pit, Michael."

                 "I'll tell him to keep an area clear. Come fly with me." Michael's white hot wings lift her into the air, her handsom face teasing for a race, but Lucifer is not in the mood.

                 "If I wanted to fly, I'd be flying." He scowls.

                 "Shall we run then?" She lights down and takes off, but doesn't get more than a few steps before falling into a hidden indentation herself. It startles her to a burst of flame that disintegrates the patch of grass around and under her, leaving a barren angel shaped patch. "Oh for a light in the darkness." She breifly buries her face in her arm, making Lucifer start laughing.

                  "I told you so." He crosses his arms.

                  "Raphael, what did I tell you about putting two so close together?" Michael takes off, her irritation turning her heavenly fires a bright, embarrassed yellow, not quite the infinite righteous fury of white, but up there. Because Father forbid she just admit her little brother was right in the first place.

                  "We're in my memories?" Lucifer wrenches things back to his control. Stopping the scene in it's tracks.

                  "Yes." Raphael comes closer. 

                  "Why?"

                  "To visit your deepest most painful ones."

                  "Shall we visit your creation then?" Lucifer says nastily.

                  "Why not? I can't say I'm not curious." Raphael touches his brother's head and Lucifer finds himself on a hard patch on the ground, his arm cut by his sister's blade.

                  "I'm so sorry." She sweeps him up in her arms as he cries. "I thought you had that block down."Soft red flames kissing his wound, healing him slowly.

                   "Michael. Helel." Father's voice rings from the throne room. Michael carries Lucifer just to the entrance and places him down so he can walk in. Lucifer fights against continuing. No. He didn't want to see his father again. Not now, not yet, not even in memory. But Raphael somehow forces it along.

                   His purity and light stabs at Lucifer, reaching a pain deep inside him that he didn't know he still had. There's flash. Diving lights peircing a mortal shell. The scene shifts back instantly, but his brother is clearly shaken.

                    "The prophet?" Raphael's voice trembles, but things renew their course. Father's arms pick up the approaching Lucifer and holds him tenderly to his arms.

                     "How is my little morning star? Helel Ben Sahar." Father tenderly wipes a lingering tear from his face, filling him with the joy of his light.

                     "I missed a block and Michael hit me." he tells him, though father already knows. they just like to hear each others voices.

                     "I see. You must practice and practice, though, until no one can. Listen to Michael, she'll teach you well."

                      "Yes, Father."

                     "But since you can't fight and heal and the same time, I have something for you."

                    "For me?" Lucifer feels himself brighten. Little did he know.

                    "For both of you." And with Lucifer still cozy in his lap, Father crafts a small stone, a core or wurtzite boron nitride, layered with the loveliest of browns and tight dark carbon fiber curls. tiny green wings begin to sprout from the shoulders. Six of them like Michael, but still so tiny. Lucifer feels conscious of his two, folding them around himself. They're bigger all around than Michael's as are most of the feathers but there are still only two.

                    Lucifer doesn't know what to feel. This thing is so different from him. So solid and firm without any effort at all, but somehow still soft. You can't see through him at all. and his wings seem to only stay in one shape. He won't have to worry about what form they're in when he's flying at all. He'll probably learn to use them so fast. And he did. Much faster than Lucifer.

                   "His name is Raphael. He's my little healer." Father sounds so proud and affectionate, and the tiny form is imbued with brightness and clothes in shining gems. So colorful and handsome with his own colors, always as lovely at one moment as from the next, unlike Lucifer who changes all the time reflecting everything around him.  Wasn't Helel enough? Did he not have enough wings? Why does Father need more? He's not around enough anyway and now they'll have to share him with someone else all together. And when he's not here, Helel will have to share Michael. Sometimes he'll be all alone, with nothing but his clear, empty self.  "Protect him and he'll protect you. Love him and he'll love you."

                   "Do you still love me?" Lucifer hears himself ask so piteously insecure and his cheeks burn to know that Raphael is witnessing this now. Michael takes the tiny angel and cuddles him in her arms, smiling at him. She only smiled at Helel that way before.

                   "Hello, Raphael. I'm Michael." Helel can feel his jealousy start to harden his wings into ice. It's not fair. That's his smile, Raphael can't have it,"Can you say Michael?" But the brat doesn't say anything, he just looks and gives a tiny smile, like he has any right to smile at Helel's Michael.

                    "Of course I love my shining star." Father reassures him, drawing back his attention. "I always will no matter how much I create. and don't fret about your wings. Do you know why you only have two? Because no one could bear the sight of  much more than two of such beautiful glorious wings. And I want them all to see you, and look at you my most beautiful of all creation. Or don't you love me anymore?"

                    "Oh, Father, you know I do." The usurper is forgotten in his father's embrace.

                    Lucifer pulls himself away, falling to an empty space of nothing. The sense of loss strikes so deeply it's as if he can't breath.  His hands are no longer his hands again, but those of this fleshy prison. Such an innocuous seeming memory. If only he could have just watched it from afar, faded  and distant and not lived it all over again, cursed with the knowledge of what's to come. To remember that feeling that oneness and love and know it's all gone, so long gone. At least Raphael felt it's pain too. Is he living it as well? Feeling thinking what Lucifer felt and thought?

                   How dare he? How dare he expose him to this, much less intrude upon it.  He has no right, pulling things out of his head. This is his mind. His memories, they belong to him. Raphael has no right to them.

                    Lucifer clenches his fists and reaches for a closer memory, one guaranteed to send the little brat running. His teeth sink into Michael's neck, eliciting a groan as his brother pushes himself inside him. He takes command, rolling them over. Michael's hands grip his hips so firmly she has to fight to set the pace, leaning back to hit a new spot. Raphael desperately tries to force the scene to change but Lucifer holds too tightly. Michael gives a cry of frustration and grabs Lucifer's waist, rolling them back over again.

                     But this time held closely in his brother's embrace, something in Lucifer yeilds and drives all thought of control and domination from him. The kisses on his neck, or the pleading whispers of his true name and he looses control of his speech, overwhelmed with sensation.

                     "Ah, Michele.." he cries out, clutching at his shoulders. Lucifer suddenly flings the scene away, burning with embarassment. That was not the part he meant to show. Especially not the childish mispronunciation he'd long since outgrew. more embarrassing even than Mitcha. Especially in front of the creature who's every first word was late, but perfectly formed.

                     "You perverted asshole." Raphael sounds angry. Good.

                     "You chose the playing field, little brother. Don't start crying about it now. Or did you think I'd just let you torture me without fighting back?"

                     "These are the shadows of the things that are past. That they are what they are, do not blame me." the little brat dares to quote some stupid old book at him. "How's this for torture, you bastard." The scene shifts back to the garden, where Michael and Lucifer are arguing about some training mishap. Raphael is sitting, sulking beneath the trees waiting for it to end.

                     Suddenly Gabriel appears, returning from the future where she delivered her messages in advance. A task given her by their Father when they complained of her constant bored mischeif.  Her golden wings are scorched black, and frayed, burned raw in so many places. Her loose golden curls are in tattered and she's blackened with soot. Lucifer cries out and rushes forwards as she collapses. her light is so dim, her grace nearly gone and her poor body trembling in pain.

                     "Gabriel!" He holds her limp form to him an curls his wings desperately around her as if to try and contain the slowly bleeding grace. "What are you waiting for, you useless brat!" he shouts to a stunned Raphael, "Heal her!" He goes to move his wings, but taking them away from her makes her just cry out in pain. Raphael just shoves his arm through the shards, tearing his own form and grabs her arm pouring everything he has into stopping the slow bleed of her grace and repairing as much damage as he can, which isn't much.

                     "What did this?": Raphael asks, not doing his job nearly well enough to stop and ask stupid questions.

                     "Do you remember what?" The current Raphael asks nastily. "Your wonderful future creation, hellfire. Preceded by a nasty curse she used most of her strength to untangle from the prophet Daniel before having to be forced to rescue his freinds, standing for hours in your brutal painful construct. How does it feel now? Seeing this, knowing that you did this to your favorite song?"

                     Lucifer tries to push it away but can't bear to let go of his poor injured baby sister, still so hurt and vulnerable. Not while she still takes comfort in her touch. it doesn't matter that it's just a memory. He can't let go. She was so far gone. Did she even really know how close it was? Her light almost snuffed out then and there.

                     "It was not my fault!" Lucifer cried out finally breaking free and hurls himself at his brother. "I was trying to save her from him. You saw it. You saw how much pain and sorrow he caused her."

                     "She had a crush. An unrequited one at that," Raphael catches him easily, crushing his forearms in his hands. "And you just couldn't take anyone loving anyone but you. So you just had to try and destroy him and in doing so nearly destroyed her. She easily survived a broken heart but she didn't survive you, did she?"

                     "No..." Lucifer begs, "No, not that one. Brother, please..."

                     His hand is on Gabriel's wrist, taking control of the blade.

                     "I know where your heart really lies." No. No, not again. the cold emptiness burning inside him again, so very frozen. Lucifer fights to tear himself away but I can't and he has to feel himself forcing his siblings blade up into her body. Seeing the look in Gabriel's golden eyes as she dies in his arms, her last sight his face, the last thing she feels his hand gently caressing her cheek.

                     As the light leaves her body in her final cry, Lucifer screams even louder in pain and rage trying to block it out, a cry he couldn't give then, fighting desperately against the ice still so firmly emtombing the broken darkness of his heart.

 

 

                      Raphael pulls himself from his brother's mind, reeling with pain and greif. So much pain and anger and rage and not just Lucifers, but his own as well. It's all so painful. Watching that scene, watching their sister's death, watching Lucifer slowly deliberately choose to end her very existance. Her eyes pleading with him. She looked so afraid. He feels sick but he can't stop now. He can't, but how can he continue? He can feel his grace trembling inside him from the strain.

                      These aren't even Lucifer's wounds. Not really. This is just him bleeding his pain onto the world. A recurring theme though, ice. Raphael had forgotten his brother was ever anything but frozen. But he was water too, and mist, steam. He wasn't just Lucifer once. He'd forgotten completely about Helel. When did he freeze so solidly? Raphael knows were he has to go, but if it's more painful than this how can he bear it at all.

                      "Father, please." he begs. "I need your strength." But it's foolish. Their father is gone, dead or as good as, keeping the darkness at bay. A prayer reaches his ears above the din. one not to him but for him.

                      'Dear lord, I pray, give your strength to your son Raphael that he may bear this burden he takes upon himself for your most beloved. Give him the faith in himself that we have in him and send him the force of your grace and mercy. Caretakers need care too.'

                      The familiar voice brings a smile to his lips.

                      'Angels in heaven, I beg of you. Give your thoughts and love to your brother Raphael so he can find the strength to save his brethren and return to us unharmed.'

                     It's nice to hear such an almost formally structured prayer, especially after overhearing that moronic nonsense from that damn Winchester. He can't believe Castiel finds it cute. Truly that must be love in it's ultimate form.  At least Alex has some sense of decorum and discretion.

                     'Raphael, I pray to thee, please give yourself all you give to those you love. Have faith in yourself as I have faith in you. Forgive yourself, trust yourself, believe in yourself. You're God's healer. You've got this."

                      And he feels, not renewed, but enforced. The prayers start all over again, hoping for a cumulative effect, he supposes. She means them enough that they might. So he turns back to his brother, restrained and unconscious on the hospital bed, and goes back inside.

 

                    "You bastard." Lucifer looks up at him, his eyes red with desperately restrained tears and not a little fury.

                    "Our father certianly wasn't married. That much is true." Raphael replies glibly, pulling Lucifer to his feet.

                    "You cruel, twisted destroyer. You have a knack for this. My throne in hell is still unclaimed I believe. You'd be a perfect fit."  But the words just roll of his back.

                    "We're not done." Raphael says cooly, pulling at the memories of the mark.

                    Lucifer can feel it coursing through him, the darkness leaking more and more inside him tearing him apart. Heaven has turned on him. Michael has cast him down and abandoned him, His wings are shattered and torn. Betrayed and alone, wandering the earth. They shouldn't have this. They didn't build it, care for it, guide it's growth. None of them should. The angels in heaven should die for betraying him. Those who would be at his side should perish for daring to stand against the most high. He should be destroyed along with them. He chased Gabriel away, his monstrousness has lost her forever. The endless strife must surely have sent her into the abyss, Why else hasn't she come to him? He's been calling to her, his favorite song, for so very long and nothing. I miss you. Please. just come see me. just see your Helel, you don't have to say. Just speak to me, please.

                   It should all go. All of it. Tossed into oblivion with Gabriel where it all belongs. Lucifer claws at the mark on his arm. Just get it off and let her loose. Let her go put everything back where it should be. None of them should exist. None...  There's a fire in the distance among a flock of sheep in the feild. The flames dance in fron tof his eyes, the red and orange tongues evoking Michael in her softtest tenderest moments. The pain takes on a different cast, and in a different place.

                    No... no he was right the first time.  This is all humanity's fault. Why should he and his brother be deprived? Let them bear this burden, let them take all this pain. They're supposed to be better than he is? Let them prove it. Let them bear the mark for billions of years, for Days, aching and hurting and freezing and drying inside like he has. Let's see how long they last. How they like hell.

                    The younger one, Abel is tending his sheep and preparing to slay any predators that approach. As if he knows that a real predator is, what a real enemy is. Why not let him be the hero? Whispers in the dark, night after night. he'll come around, all he needs is time. He'll join his big sister Lillith in hell. A family reunion, who wouldn't want that?

                   "Stay away from my brother." Big brother Cain coming to the rescue. Edler siblings always think they know best. How far will he go? What can he make him do in the interest of 'protecting' his sibling. Michael threw him away, cast him down, broke him. And Cain? What is Cain willing to do to his beloved little brother. Kill him in the name of protecting him. Send him to heaven yourself then come to me in hell. This whole time is shadowed and distorted, consumed by darkness, filled almost as he was, it's so hard to see.

                    But it's agreed.

                    The mark transfers cleanly sliding from Lucifer's arm to Cain's. A deep feeling of relief breifly fills him, but it's soon overwhelmed by utter emptiness. The blade is removed but the wound remains. no. The ice creeps from his wings to his very being, freezing him deep inside just to hold him together.

                    Raphael grabs that wound and pulls it forwards, racing back past the Garden, past rebellion, past arguments, angry bitterness, frustration, the slow corruption of darkness leaking back out of him through the mark to their Aunt, finally settling on Lucifer, alone and afraid in the dark. his light shines so dimly and blackness sparkles through his form, only the glow of his family in the distance gives him any beauty at all, when they're gone he'll be nothing, dark waters on a formless void. But still that beauty is still there and she sees herself sparkling in his reflection and loves him, reaching to him, though she was told she couldn't, that she would break him destroy him, but still she can't resist, engulfing him to claim him as her own.

                    But she was warned, and so when the Mark bursts forth on Lucifers skin, sending her into the cage of the earth, it was her own fault. What Lucifer wasn't expecting was the pain. The pain of her touch, his wings froze to stop, to contain. The mark, the key anchors itself in his deepest fissures, embedded in his core, dripping darkness into his very being, feeding his weaknesses.

                     Expendable. Imperfect. Insufficient. Empty. Raphael drags the whisper to the surface. Unloved. Undeserving. You're an empty mirror. They love you because of your reflections, they only love their reflections. You're not strong enough. You're poisoning everything. Darkness filling his core, but every look, ever smile, every word of praise is clung to so desperately it hardens into a protective shell. He's a drowning man grasping at so many straws he's somehow built them into a raft.

                     Perfect, not flawed. They said so.  Beautiful not empty, father doesn't lie. Intelligent, see how easily they're fooled. Worth everything not nothing. Deserves everything. Desperation. He's never wrong. He can never be wrong. He's always right. He has to be. He's not unimportant he's the most important thing there is. Each question or insult violently avenged, if the straws break what can keep him afloat? Layer upon layer until nothing is left but an armor of miles of ice and rage. 

                    Raphael grabs his brother and forces him back into that pain filled core. Over and over until he can't pull back the armor anymore and finally lays weeping on the ground begging for death. But he won't give it. Instead he takes him in his arms, holding him, saying without words that it's okay, that he's enough, that everything is laid bare and Raphael is still beside him. He isn't going anywhere.  Just holding him in silence, loving the poor wounded brother he never truly knew without the words that mean so very little. When Helel is finally calm, not holding on nearly so tightly, Raphael begins to let go. But the movement gives him a sharp pain, a splintering deep inside him, forcing him to pull himself out of his brothers mind, leaving only a memory of him for Helel to cling to.

                      When Raphael returns to himself, the pain is worse. It takes a moment to recognize it. He's pushed himself too hard and too far. he can feel his grace begin to shatter inside of him as surely as if peirced by a blade. No...not now. He's so close. He has to hold it together, but this form is too weak. It has to be kept together, contained.

                     Raphael staggers outside in the seconds he knows he has left and buries his hands in the earth, pulling it's strongest bones to him. Lucifer held himself together with ice, he'll bind his grace with stone. When the last piece is in place, sealing his grace in a construct of healing jade, he collapses on the grass, overcome by exhaustion. His eyes close, and time resumes it's course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did do some research about women having an extra rib than men. That's not true, at all. But apparently some people have, instead of the usual twelve pairs, either eleven or thirteen pairs of ribs. Given the implications of the number 13 I could totally see Gabriel and Raphael giving Lucifer 13 pairs of ribs as a joke.


	31. Reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael slowly starts rebuilding Helel but his recovery is interrupted by two people from Raphael's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What exactly is the difference between a narcissist and a recovering narcissist. I suppose it has to do with effort and self awareness. The same difference between an alcoholic and a recovering alcoholic. What's more important is how do you come back from being known as the ultimate deceiver? What do you do when words no longer matter because they can't be trusted and actions will always be suspect as well. That might be more difficult to come back from than the narcissism alone.

          A cold droplet of rain falls upon Raphael's face, the sensation fading in and out. More rain falls becoming a downpour. Still the sensations highten and fade randomly like static on the radio. He forces himself back to his feet and walks slowly inside.

           He can feel his grace sealed within him still on the verge of breaking completely and sending him to the abyss. Don't use it. Just let it heal. Let it rest, let it heal. Raphael sits down in Michael's chair and leans back. What to do. It's only half done. Lucifer has been broken now, now Helel has to be built back up, but it has to be done right. Keep the armor from rebuilding. No praise, no flattery, no narcissistic supply. No provocation. Well, he can keep silent if he has to.

           Raphael looks to the side as he hears his brother let out an ictal cry, his body seizing and straining against the restraints. Well, that's why they're there. He'd hoped that by accessing him in his dreams it would keep his body from reacting to the pain. Did he wake? Find himself alone and confined? Is this the first one since then? Raphael takes a breath and gets back up, walking to Helel's side as the seizing stops.

           "I'm here." Raphael places his hand over his brother's. The contact between them seems to be just as much a comfort physically as it was within his mind.  However the ordeal has caused the healing incision in his brother's chest to reopen. A possibility he anticipated so he just applies the anesthetic and manually resets the stitches.

            Alex's prayers are still repeating in the background as he does so, some by her, some by the more religious hunters and men of letters she's somehow reached, most likely through Claire. It's odd hearing prayers given for his own sake. He doesn't actually think anyone has prayed for him ever before.  They all are soley for his sake as well as no one knows what he's doing exactly except for Alex and Claire and that Krissy girl who are even more focused on his welfare than his tasks. Even his brother in laws send a few thoughts his way, which is embarrassing. How badly off do you have to be for the Winchesters to offer up prayers for your sake?

             They at least don't invoke anyone but him. Nothing would be more suspicious to his brothers than hearing they're supporting anything he's doing. It'd likely send all of heaven to investigate and that would not be good. Any angel finding Lucifer here in this state, would most assuredly just kill him. They wouldn't be unjustified in doing so either, given all he's done.

             His death did little to revoke his status of Heaven's most Hated. The fledgelings returning from the abyss have all been taught his crimes, though none are yet old enough to leave the garden. None of his followers have emerged yet. In truth it's almost impossible to believe that anything could force him to acknowledge the truth of himself. And maybe it isn't want it seemed to be. Maybe it was mere illusion and lies. Just because he doesn't use them as often as you'd think, doens't mean he can't be convincing when he does. He could have been just giving him what he thought he wanted to see.

             But Raphael could feel everything his brother felt. He couldn't help it so deeply immersed in his mind. Even those feelings still buried within others. Ones he never expected. His brother's embarassment. His envy of Raphael's progress.  He never knew Helel was slow to speak or even say Michael's name properly. Or that it took him longer to learn to fly than Raphael. Of course he had only two wings to use and Michael who taught him had six. It makes a difference.  All the lesser angels looked to Lucifer when trying to fly, modeling their own flight after what they'd seen of his.

             It's absolutely absurd to think of his elder brother being at all jealous of him, or feeling at all inferior to him. Even just the idea of Lucifer being insecure is laughable, but Helel apparently was. Part of him is sure it was a lie, one aimed at a vanity he mistakenly assumed Raphael had. But the larger part doesn't think so, given how desperately he tried to conceal such things.

              He doesn't have his grace or access to his powers at all. So it was most likely genuine. That's the problem though. How to tell. Obviously words mean nothing. They can't. He'll have to be given a chance. That's all. But Raphael absolutely must not let him know of his weakend condition. No one can know. There will never be a better chance than right now.

 

            The first days upon awakening are an empty nightmare. He feels hollow, defenseless, emptied of all meaning. He can't bring himself to speak at all. What really could he say? Raphael has seen parts of him he hasn't acknowledged in so long or even really believed were there. He stripped away Lucifer to reveal the broken bleeding mangled remains of  Helel.

            He despises Helel but hates and absolute loathes Lucifer. Lucifer destroyed everything he ever cared about, but Helel never deserved them in the first place. Why is he still alive? How could Raphael see everything he saw and still let him live? The morning star is nothing but a dead lifeless rock, stealing the light of it's betters and claiming it as it's own. He's as empty as he was made and always was.

           But as always in his moment of greatest pain his brother is there, holding him silently as he weeps. Why? What does it mean? Is he just enjoying his suffering? Doesn't he hate him? Does he pity him? He must feel nothing but contempt for this broken worthless thing before him. But why offer comfort? Why doesn't he say something? Always this silence and penetrating gaze. Raphael has always seen through him always.

           "Won't you say something?" He finally demands, pushing himself away from the undeserved embrace.

           "What do you want me to say?" Is the characteristically unhelpful reply.

           "Nothing, Something. Anything. I don't know." he covers his eyes.

           "The garden needs tending. If you feel up to it we can go outside and take care of it." Raphael stands up.

           "Okay." he says as he doesn't really know what else to do.

           Michael was terrible in the garden. he was an overenthusiatic pruner and without his angelic senses couldn't tell a weed from a sprout. Nor could he tell how much to water them if he remembered to at all. He drowned half the strawberries, or would have if Raphael didn't quickly repot them. If he was the one to teach Adam to farm that would explain why it took humanity so long ot establish sustainable agriculture.

           Also it would explain that joke about Cain and Abel that Gabriel had put in the bible. Where Cain was just jealous because God didn't want an offering of what he grew. Their father accepted offerings of silver and gold, the most useless metals in all existence. as if he'd reject a bunch of fruit and vegetables that somehow survived substandard care and tending.

           He seed Raphael raise an eyebrow at his smile.

           "Michael's garden skills." he explains.

           "Ah," Raphael smiles as well. "That's why Adam was a hunter/gatherer."  He actually laughs at this.

           "Why didn't you step in?"

            "He was kind of in a mood, just solid blue, constantly. You two weren't speaking at the time and really it didn't matter. The garden was so fruitful, farming wasn't even necessary. I think actually Father was hoping you'd see how badly Michael was doing and feel the need to step in and correct him. Maybe insist on showing Adam and Eve how to properly care for plants. It was supposed to be you after all. But you never went near there except that once. He taught Adam to hunt though, afterwards, and that turned out much better."

           At the mention of their father, he can't say anymore. He just focuses on tending the garden with his brother.

 

           "You need to go feed the Chickens."Raphael says as he carefully mixes up blueberry pancakes.

           "I hate those creatures. Let them forage as our Father intended."

            "Maybe if they weren't fenced in, but they are. If you wanted you could let them loose, and just gather them back in at night. It'd help keep the garden clear."

            "Hell no, those beasts are.."

            "The Devil's birds?" Raphael grins over at him, holding out the bucket of feed.

            "Oh, fuck you." he snatches it and goes out back. It's tempting to just dump the pail at the gate. And he's tried just lining the edges of the fence with feed, but with the first it ended in a blood bath and the second just made them start rushing the fence any time anyone came near it. "Alright you little bastards." he picks up a rake and moves slowly in.  "Your eggs? Not that great. That's right, back off, Rachel. You too Pheobe." the five biggest trouble makers eye him. Rachel being the worst of the bunch. "You start things again, I'm going after you. You hear me? If I have to slaughter every one of your freinds to get to you."

           He hears his brother laugh inside the cottage and everything freezes around him. Of course. He sighs and scatters the feed before going into the roost to take the eggs. Raphael could have done that at any time. Any time at all, the little shit. There's a motion in the woods that catches his eyes. Nothing should be moving. not with time halted like this.

           "Raphael?" he calls stepping towards it. Time restarts and the chickens react to their suddenly missing eggs. He runs quickly to the fence, slamming the gate shut behind him. " That wasn't funny, Raph." he snaps entering the house. But Raphael is half bending over the counter, tightly gripping the edge. He almost looks in pain. "Raphael?" he places a hand on his brother's arm.

          "How do you prefer your eggs?" Raphael just straightens up and turns to take the pail of eggs.

          "Unfertilized." he winks.

          "For breakfast, smart ass."

          "I don't care." he leans back against the counter next to his brother. "Are you alright?"

          "I'm fine." Raphael lies, deciding to scramble them apparently, with some of that lovely sharp cheddar with all the lactose edged out.

          "Thank you. For the assist. I did not feel like Rachel's shit this morning." He forces himself to say it, as he does appreciate it and honestly if he lets his brother know that he does, he might do it more. Maybe.

          "Well, I don't feel like butchering any chicken this morning. Remember we're not buying any more."

          "Right." He sighs, crossing his arms. "I'll let Monica father a few chicks then."

          "How do your wrists feel?" Raphael asks. he holds them up to look at them, flexing them to check mobility. The burn scars feel tight but not bad. "Do you feel up to playing the violin?"

           "Sure." the thought sounds appealing.

           "Gabriel sent some more sheet music. And said she's sending you a pet rabbit."

           "Why?"

           "She didn't think a cat was appropriate as you might be allergic, and you're not a dog person."

           "Why is she sending me a pet at all?"

           "She thought I might not be providing you with enough unbridled affection." This makes them both laugh. "I'm not exactly sure how affectionate rabbits are, though. But I supposed there must be a reason for the term 'snuggle bunny'."

           "Is she alright? Is her... task going well?"

           "It appears to be so far. Everything is stable. But things will be reaching a critical point soon." he places the eggs on a plate with the pancakes. They're not as fluffy as Gabriel's but definitely better than Michael's attempts.

           How could he be so bad at so many human things? And why was it just so adorable watching him trying to figure it out? He puts the honey on the table almost out of habit, though he never uses it on blueberry pancakes. What they lack in fluff they make up for in flavor and moisture. But the open jar of honey sits with a spoon inside just waiting to be eaten, so he takes the spoon and puts it in his mouth as he washes the dishes, letting the sweet taste melt down his throat. It tastes slightly of oranges, that being Michael's favorite kind.

           Hopefully there will still be bees left in the world by the time Michael returns.

           "We need to buy beehives." he says suddenly. "And donate money to bee keepers and things. Gabriel can rob people right? Have her bankrupt some pesticide companies or something."

           "You could talk to her yourself." Raphael suggests, but he can't really reply to that yet. The thought of the world outside the cottage is unpleasant.

           "Water does such strange things to skin." he looks at his wrinkled fingers.

            "Well, you're not supposed to spend half an hour just playing in the dishwater, you know. The soap will wreck the skin on your hands."Raphael hands him some lotion. Apple.

             "From the new catalogue?" he asks glancing at his brother who looks away, embarrassed. "I can't believe you two did that. I really can't. Well, Gabriel maybe, but you.. you have a real mean streak." he teases his brother who just ignores him. "That said, despite the painfully sacreligious, blasphemous tone of the entire thing, it was funny and I will laugh at it one day. Well done."

            "Your approval fills me with shame." Raphael's glib reply does make him smile.

            "What did Michael think?"

            "He was not happy. I regret the entire thing immensely."

            "Good." he walks into the bedroom and takes out his violin. It's calming playing it. He knows Raphael likes to hear it too even if he refuses to say so.

      

        "What the hell is that?" Is all he can say as they open the crate to what he had assumed, wrongly to be a rabbit hutch.

         "That." Raphael opens the letter that accompanied it. "Is a steel grey Flemish Giant Rabbit."

          "For love of all that is, that thing is as big as I am." he stares at the enormous grey rabbit gnawing on some vegetables in the hay.

          "His name is Colonel Floppington."

          "We have to stop letting Gabriel name things. This is getting ridiculous." Though now, he knows that he'll never be able to think of this enormous beast as anything else. He has got to tell Denny about... The thought dies inside him. He can't tell Denny anything. She is, undoubtedly in heaven and beyond his reach. maybe he could conduct a seance one day if he's ever unbound.  "What do we do? Where do we put this thing?"

          "I have no idea. I have to google it." Raphael frowns. "I'm fairly sure we'll be sacrificing our garden to it, though. unless you feel like building a fence."

          "This is ridiculous. Why would she do this?"

          "Boredom probably."

          "If she's that bored, she should visit and take care of the chickens for me. That'll liven things up for her." He puts his hands on his hips glaring at the doe eyed thing. "And you can't tell me anything about this task of hers. There's nothing I can do to help."

          "Well, aside from being a willing participant in your own recovery? No." Raphael finally talks about it.

           "My recovery?" He crouches down before the rabbit. His pet. Colonel Floppington. What the hell is wrong with that girl.

           "You're a selfish, stubborn, narcissistic bastard with little concern for anyone but yourself. You see who you are, what that's done. What it's cost you."Raphael says flatly. "Don't you?"

           "How could I not with you forcing it so cruelly before my eyes, over and over again."

           "I don't know, but you managed it for a very long time. I have no way of knowing if you see anything now or if this is all just one of your famous deceits. But I suppose it's beyond mattering now." Raphael gives a weary sigh.

  
          "I don't know what you want me to say." He looks up to his brother. "What could possibly make a difference."

          "The truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. If you even know what that is. I'm starting to think the person you deceived the most was actually yourself." Raphael rolls his eyes, shaking his head, not looking down at him.

           "And if I did, you'd believe me?"

           "Probably not. Words are your greatest weapon after all. I'd have to be stupid to believe anything you say, especially if I want to believe it. I really should have thought about that before trying to do this. I suppose I didn't think success likely enough to think about how to actually recognize it." Raphael rubs his eyes. That's actually kind of fair. Especially since it's Raphael. Well, nothing to it but to do it. If he isn't believed he isn't believed.

           "I don't care for humanity, Raphael. I doubt I'll ever be able to love them as father asked. I certainly don't feel inclined to bow to them any more than I ever did." He looks back to the bunny who doesn't give a shit if he's lying or not. "They're flawed and I'm not responsible for those flaws no matter what you all like to think. I just expose them. Forcibly if I have to."

           "I did ask for honesty." Raphael says dryly.

           "Shut up, paseh, and just let me finish," he gives him an irritated look. " I will, however, allow that maybe I overreacted just a little bit, in trying to wipe them so completely from either my father's good graces or the face of the earth."

           "Maybe you over reacted." his brother repeats woodenly.

            "Hell, may not have been my best idea either. I hate demons." His cheeks burn at the admissions. "Yeah they might worship me, but what is that worth? They're the ultimate expression of everything wrong and potentially wrong with humanity. It's honestly downright embarassing."

           "If you had to do it over again?"

           "I'd have stepped down from my position with grace and dignity and learned at least to coexist with the little monsters."

           "Are you kidding me? You still wouldn't have just bowed? Even solely to humor our father?"

           "No. They weren't Him. They weren't entitled to my love and devotion for the mere act of existing. If they wanted it they'd have had to earn it."

           "Unbelievable."Raphael turns and walks into the cottage.

           "Me? I'm unbelievable? You're asking me to have outright lied to our Father, an omniscient being, and just pretended like I was okay with all of that. I'd like to think that I have a little more integrity than that."

           "Fine. whatever you say." his brother is clearly pissed off and loud. He probably won't let him braid his hair again now. And the rosettes looked so lovely on him too."No wonder everyone associates you with cats." It looks like Raphael is a dog person.

          "If he didn't want to know, he shouldn't have asked, right Colonel Floppington?" he reaches out and pets the soft giant rabbit.

           "You know, I didn't exactly think much of them either."Raphael returns, phone in hand. "I didn't see why they deserved to be honored either, but i did it because he asked me to."

            "Yes, well, you've never valued yourself nearly as much as you should have. Besides you know you're a soft touch, you may have resented them, but you already loved them at least a little. To the very depths of my core I thought with all sincerity that they could just go fuck themselves. And largely I still do. maybe it's pride, or vanity or something unreasonable, but the feelings are still there and I won't pretend otherwise.

            "I mean look at them, they make bigger monsters than I ever was, limited only by their own power. Why do you think Nephilim were such a problem? Nothings more frightening than a human being with power." He rolls his eyes. Colonel Floppington hops forwards a bit, sidling up to him. "I need to give him a new name. But I just can't get this stupid thing out of my head. Why did you have to tell it to me?"

            "Well, Floppington is obviously a surname and colonel is a title. You could give him a first name and use that." Raphael suggests, accepting the change of subject for some unknown reason.

            "What you mean like, Greg? Greg Floppington. Colonel Gregory Floppington."  he announces is a posh british accent. "Of her majesties royal air force. We'll have to get him some wings." The thought evoked of actual wings on the rabbit makes both of them laugh a little. "What do you think?" He lifts the fuzzy head up slightly. "Do you prefer Greg? Or Colonel Floppington?" A what would otherwise be considered a random sneeze settles the matter. "Alright, Greg to your freinds."

           "So, what you're going to insist on strangers calling him Colonel Floppington?"

            "Or course, Gregory is a veteran and they will treat him with respect. Of course, his Uncle Raphael is free to call him Greg, if he so choose."

           "Do not speak in the third person. I beg of you."

          "Does uncle Raphi have a narrative preference? Daddy had no idea. How fascinating."

           "Well, guess what, Daddy's cooking his own damn meals from now on if he doesn't stop this instant." Raphael tosses the giant rabbit a zucchini from the garden. "You should go wash up for dinner. And stop tossing bread in the driveway. I'm tired of having to scatter birds or squirrels before driving off anywhere." he walks over to pick up the crusts.

            "I didn't." He protests, and looks up to see a line of flame ignite across the driveway, inflaming three concentric circles of holy oil around his brother. He quickly gets to his feet but is restrained by the shaft of a spear held tightly against his neck, pinning him to a large man behind him.

            A man in leather breeches, decorated in familiar shapes steps out from behind the car. Raphael draws himself up in that brave manner he has that indicates intense fear. Who are these people?

            "Ahaiyuta." Raphael nods to the stranger. "Matsailema." he acknowledges the one holding his brother.

            "The archangel Raphael." Ahaiyuta draws out an oddly out of place obsidian knife. "Or should I just call you Seboloutche." He hisses. Raphael's lips tighten and he says nothing, but his eyes glance over to his brother.

            "Did you really think we wouldn't find you? After tearing your pain into Apoyan Tachu." The one holding him mocks his little brother.

            "It's time for you to pay for your crimes." Ahaiyuta steps over the first ring of flame. Matsailema loosens his grip just enough to allow the spear to be grabbed and himself hurled to the ground.

            "No. Helel. Run." Raphael orders him. But he has not yet willingly taken orders from that brat and doesn't intend to start now. He crushes the suprised gentleman in the loins and goes to grab the bag of manure from beside the hose. His attacker has recovered quickly and manages to lunge at him enough to grab his ankle. As he falls, he manages to toss the contents onto the rings, dousing a small path to free his brother, but the effort causes him to fall flat on his recovering chest.

         "You little.."Matsailema pulls him back only to get a desperate kick in the face.

          "I told you to run." Raphael pulls him up and shoves the car keys in his hand. "Now get in the car and go." He just shakes his head, clutching at his chest, refusing to move. "Just do what I tell you, you brat!" Raphael picks up a board from the crate and blocks a blow from Ahaiyuta. Why doesn't he just disintegrate them? 

           He flees to the car and gets in, buckling his seat belt. If that boy thinks he's going anywhere, he'd better think agian.

         "Raphael! Move!" he shouts and floors it, driving the car forwards into the strangers, trying not to hit his brother.

          The car knocks them aside but hits the stone border of the raised garden. A spear shatters through the windshield, only just slicing the side of his ribs, but it pins the belt awkwardly to the seat, presing into this throat, almost completely cutting off his air supply. He desperately tries to pull it out and can only watch as the two men somehow, inexplicably overpower Raphael. Matailema holds his brother's arms behind his back. No, this can't be happening. It can't be possible. Ahaiyuta reaches a hand to his brother's chest grabbing, pulling some aetheric heart from his body. His brothers body slackens, an empty look in his eyes.

          "His grace." Matsailema nods, needing  only one hand to support the unresisting form, and take a glass container from a pouch at his waist. Unable to move the spear, he tries to grab at the belt and loosen it's grip on his neck or move it enough against the edges of the spear to cut it through. His lungs are starting to burn. Raphael's head is pulled back and the obsidian knife drawn across his throat, but instead of a silver light, there's an odd solid spark and a crack, creating an explotion the stranger narrowly avoids. The seatbelt finally snaps, freeing him. As he gasps for breath, he's pulled from the vehicle by an angry Matsailema and slammed against the hood of the car by the throat, his air cut off once again.

          "Matsailema, that's enough." Is the last thing he hears. "We have who we came for."

 

   

                    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel insisted on naming the chickens Michael and Lucy Bought after the cast of Freinds. Gunther was the first casualty killed and devoured by the main six. Ursula and Janice pecked each other to death in a very bitter fight and Susan, Ben, Julie, Joey, and Carol were casualties of the first battle of the chicken rebellion. Richard, Jill and Amy fell in the second leaving only Rachel, Monica (the rooster), Pheobe, Ross, and Chandler ruling the roost. Erica, Mr. Treeger, Mike and Nora are still there having been brought in after the first major incident but the main five haven't entirely warmed to them. After the second affair Raphael refused to allow any new chicken to be bought, rendering the Lucy-Chicken war to eventually be resolved by mere attrition should an armistace not eventually be reached.
> 
> Lucifer now enthusiastically embraces factory farming chickens and eggs and will eat at KFC without compunction (doesn't like popeye's spices) as he thoroughly believes those little bastards deserve everything that's done to them, or at the very least would if they were allowed to roam free. Any chicken farmer could have warned her that Chickens are assholes, but he didn't exactly think to ask and wouldn't have believed it wasn't a human fault if he had.


	32. For the Soul of A Righteous Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci has to get the hell out of Dodge before the calvary arrives, because let's face it, who would ever believe the devil to be even slightly innocent?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's part of the trouble with repentance and reformation isn't it? The worse you've been the harder it is to come back from. That's part of why recidivism is such a problem, once you acquire a reputation you're stuck with it for the longest time. Sometimes it's easier to just give in and be what people seem to want you to be. After all if you're going to be punished for being what they think you are, why not just reap the rewards of being it. Especially when you're no longer entirely sure who you are, or who you even want to be.

               The fire is still burning on the pavement. It's well into the night and still the holy fire blazes as brightly as ever, slightly more brightly in one spot, oddly enough. He can see it from where he lies on the ground, by the car. What the hell just happened?

              "Ahaiyuta, Matsailema, Seboloutche." he repeats to himself, trying to commit it to memory. What were those other words. Apoyan Tachu. He repeats them all over and over again until he feels able to get back to at least his hands and knees. Whatever they did to his brother, they didn't kill him. Did they? No. They said they had who they came for so what they took was just some representation of his essence. "Ahaiyuta, Matsailema, Seboloutche, Apoyan Tachu."

               He can't call for help. who could help that would believe for a second that he had nothing to do with this. Who would believe that he wouldn't at the very least have enthusiastically aided their attackers? After hearing he'd been drugged, bound, imprisoned and fairly tortured by a brother he was known to have little regard for at best? In truth, he doesn't really believe it himself when put in that light. It doesn't sound like him. Goodness knows he remembers wanting to torture and injure his little brother, with all sincerity. And it was torture, he can never call what his brother put him through anything else but it was torture like surgery without anesthetic when there is not possible anaesthetic. Was it necessary? It might have been. He doesn't like to think so but he knows Raphael did.

               He can't leave his brother in their hands, though. He won't. That's his brother. How dare they? He looks to the ring of holy fire and crawls over to it and that odd glowing patch right behind the first circle. A piece of jadeite, the size of a rubber ball maybe, but through the flickering of the flames it glows a familiar glow. A piece of Raphael's grace? Infused within the stone. How? Why? Who could do something like this? The ache in his chest, in the side of his ribs, the cool breeze against the blood soaked shirt make him focus on the important thing. It could heal him. If he wasn't bound.

                 He looks at the holy fire, grits his teeth and sticks his hand through it, letting the flames wrap themselves around his wrist. Whatever he is, trapped in this form, if there's any angel left or just human, the pain is almost unbearable. The feel of it melting and wharping his flesh makes him sick, and the smell. The smell of his own flesh cooking. It's almost more than he can do, to take back that wrist and put the other one in after. Almost. This time he grabs the piece of grace, gripping it tight. It can't do anything about repairing the damage from holy fire, but his fist shields it from the flames and once taken out the rest of him is restored to almost new.

                However the coolness of the jade in his hand spreading throughout his body as he lays curls on the pavement still doesn't keep him from giving in to the urge to vomit. Otherwise the relief is astounding. And while his wrists are permanently disfigured, his brother's grace does take away the pain and burning. He never appreciated Raphael's gifts, not really. None of them did, even though so many owed their lives to him, over and over again.

                Still the grace remains, illuminated by the light of the flames so even he can see it. It's slightly dimmer but it's there. This can't be the only piece. But first things first. He has to get rid of what's left of Raphael's vessel and hide the car. He walks over to find a shovel and stops as he sees a raw half butchered carcass half in the hay.  Those bastards stopped to kill and butcher Colonel Floppington. Probably in return for the groin shot, he bets. They actually took some meat with them too. Are they eating his fucking pet?

                 That's crossing a damn line, even he knows that.  Raphael can be a pain in the ass to be sure, but Colonel Floppington never hurt anybody. Lucifer gets a feeling that his brother wouldn't appreciate the focus of his outrage right now, but Raphael is still alive. And in all honesty, if their situations were reversed, Raphael would probably be feeling the same way.

                  If they didn't kill him, and just took part of him, it means they either have use for him or plan to place him in something they can more easily torture, or that is torture. Likely for a long time. So there's time to rescue him. But even unbound, there's so little he can actually do. To take out Raphael they have to have some serious mojo. Even if he was somehow hurt or injured. What the hell did he do to his grace? And if it can all be found and collected, how can it be put back together or returned to Raphael? Well, first things first. He has a body to hide.

 

 

         Ahaiyuta.  Matsailema. Sebuloutche. They knew each other, had names for each other. Are those their real names or was it like calling Raphael Sebuloutche. Apoyan Tachu. Who is that. Pouring his pain into it? Him?  What pain? What did he do to his grace?

         Lucifer frowns. This human mind just will not focus or function properly. All this adrenaline, fear and worry, is interfering with his concentration. The vessel is buried so is the rabbit. The car is hidden, the driveway cleaned up as much as possible, though the concrete will likely always be scorched. And yet this frantic energy just will not ebb.

         He goes to the fridge desperately searching for something, anything. He doesn't know what. He just knows it's not leafy and not in... Raphael's put the honey in the fridge again. Why does he keep doing that? It makes it all thick and it won't pour right. He kept telling him, but does that brat ever listen? No. But honey. A spoonful melts into his mouth with a sigh and he plops himself down in Michael's chair. He reclines back, closing his eyes to focus.

         He has to get Raphael's grace, find Raphael, and kick the ass of whoever took his little brother. The problems with that; he's practically helpless, power wise. No grace, no soul, only blood sigils and basic wards. He has to do it alone because of that and a second problem. The winchesters and their pet angel. Any one who'd help him would betray him at the first sign of weakness to either them or someone worse. And that hunter in the hospital either will or has contacted them. If they haven't found him yet it was likely only Raphael's influence and now that's gone.

         It's only a matter of time before they show up because they're involved in every damn thing in the world it seems. Every crisis. With Castiel given an upgrade and his current extremely downgraded status, it will not go well for him. How will he find either Raphael or his grace? He'll need magic of some sort but that requires either grace or a human soul.

         He needs a soul. Alright, say he gets one. What then? No. First things first. Acquire a soul or more than one if the body can contain it. Where can he get a soul? He needs someone vulnerable who trusts him. With the binding gone he can force it out, but it's easier if given freely. Plus he needs to get so close to do it. Lucifer taps the edge of the honey jar with the spoon and smiles. He knows just the person.

      

         Brett walks down the hall, on odd feeling on his chest. he keeps feeling as if he's missing something, but he doesn't know what. Everything feels so dull. Like a fog has settled over everything and yet..

         "Brett, honey?"  his mother stops him as he heads to the bathroom. "You're wearing Denny's nightclothes again."

         "What?" He looks down. He is. It's so odd. That's three times now. He must have gone into her room accidentally again. "Oh." He just shrugs it off and continues on his way. "Mom?" He frowns, looking at the sink. "Where's my toothbrush? Did you throw it out again?"

         "It's right there in front of you, Brett." His mother says leaning on the door.

         "No, that's..." he starts to say that's Brett's but he's Brett. That's his. "Right, thank you."

         "I want to take you to see a doctor, baby. You need to talk to someone about this."

         "About what? I'm just fine, Mom. It's just hard to sleep." he kisses her cheek and closes the bathroom door. But that's a lie. It used to be that unless he was snuggled with Denny, he couldn't sleep at all, nor did he even seem to need to. She could barely sleep without him either and since she was cranky without enough sleep they'd just go to bed together, just holding each other. He can sleep without her now, but he's tired all the time.

         "I have to go to work. Will you be okay?" She asks again from outside the door.

         "I'll be fine." He lies and stares in the mirror, washing his hands. Bags beneath his eyes, making them look more like hers.

         "I'll be calling throughout the day. So be sure to keep your phone charged. If you don't answer I'm coming home right away."

         "Okay." He steps into the shower, just standing there until the hot water runs out, and even longer until the cold water leaves him feeling chilled and numb.  When the numbness of his body matches the numbness inside he walks back to his room. Lucy is there lying on his bed and reading his sister's journal. "Lucy?"

         "You know, you make a lot more sense now." she glares over at him, looking him over. She looks decidedly unimpressed. He can feel his cheeks burn.

         "What are you doing here? Did my mother let you in?" he grabs the nearest shorts from the laundry pile desperate to cover himself.

         "We both lost someone dear to us. I thought you might need somebody right now." she sits up. "I know I do." She sounds so lost, but something inside is doubtful. "Brett, do you hate me?"

         "I don't know." he feels reluctant to go closer, and if she moved towards him he'd back away. But she just sits there looking at her wrists. There are burns all around each one, so severe it looks like the flesh actually melted. A horrified pang of empathy reaches his core that he knows just wouldn't before, not without Denny beside him. What did they do to her? "No. I don't hate you." How can he seeing that.

         "I need help, Brett." she says softly, not looking at him. "I need you." He steps forwards, going to her despite himself. "I know you don't really care for me as much as you seemed to, as much as Denny did. But I need your help so if you help me, I'll help you." A single tear escapes her eyes at the mention of Denny, though she almost irritatingly tries to brush it away before he can see. That more than anything makes him soften completely.

        "You don't have to do anything for me." Brett sits down beside her. "Denny loved you and I loved her, so if I can help you I will." She looks vaguely surprised at this. "I know." He blushes, looking away. "There's no one here to act for, right? You saw through me, but there's nothing to see through now somehow. Now that she's gone it's almost like she's always beside me. Anyways, I did enjoy our games, mostly. Partly I wanted to just..."

        "Destroy me? Dominate me?" She grins at him, saying what he now feels fairly certain is what she felt. But his side was no better.

        "Take you." Brett tightens his lips. "You're a bitch and a tease, but given how they treated you, I guess I can understand." This statement seems to bother her slightly, though he's not sure why. She just pulls it back in and reaches over to caress his face.

        "I had fun, too. I did like Denny better, but playing with you was fun in it's own way. And i was a tease, because you wanted me. If you didn't, I'd have been something else entirely. But it's different now. Things have changed." And she kisses him, again and again those intoxicating kisses until once again he finds himself at her mercy, lying on his bed. Her hands hold his wrists above his head and she straddles his wait. He has never hated the existence of jeans so very much as he does at this moment.

         "Lucy..." He hears himself begin to plead.

         "You're hurting,  Brett. I know it. With guilt and pain. Everything you've ever done you find yourself questioning, regretting. I can take that away from you." she whispers and shifts just enough to make him feel like he's going insane. "You don't ever have to feel it again. Just this." her hands leave his wrists trailing down his arms to his chest.

        "What... what do you mean?"

        "I need something of yours.  Not to keep, not necessarily. But for a while at least." her hands trace down the lines of his chest.

        "What?" Though he half wants to cry 'anything'.

        "Your soul. That's all." she says soft, one hand right beneath his ribs, the other back to his cheek, "You didn't have it for a long time it seems, which apparently is why that spell didn't work. Identical conjoined twins, if only I'd known." Lucy shakes her head.

        "You can't be serious." Brett pushes himself up slightly.  She's crazy or mocking him or.. or... she isn't. "I'm not giving away my soul. I'm not giving or selling or trading my soul away even in jest. I'm christian, I know better."

        "Ah well," She sighs. "But the thing is that really, I don't need you to. Not with what I am now. It just would have been a lot less painful for you." And she starts saying something in that language of hers and he feels something tearing inside him. her hand almost seems to sink into his torso and he cries outloud from the burning tearing pain.

        Suddenly the lights flicker, the air chills around them and Lucy is thrown onto the floor.

        "You evil little whore!" He thinks he hears his sister say as he curls around himself, the pain inside him leaving him gasping for breath. "I trusted you!" Something crashes into the wall, and something else strikes his head and everything goes black.

       

 

        He freezes as Denny's ghost rages before him. Lamps and trophies crash about the room.

        "I stood up for you. How fucking dare you try and hurt my brother?!"

        "Denny." he holds out his hand. "Denny calm down."

        "Don't fucking tell me to calm down you... backstabbing whore! How could you?"

        "I'm desperate." He replies keeping his voice as calm as he can with just the right edge of panic not to sound patronizing. "They took my sister. They took April and if I don't have a soul I'm helpless to save her."

         "I don't care! You can't have Brett's. How dare you even try you bastard!"

         "Denny!.... Denny..." he glances over to Brett who's unconscious, bleeding from a blow to the head. "Denny, stop. Look at Brett. He's hurt."

         "You hurt my brother?"

         "No. No you did. Your anger. You didn't mean to. I know you didn't, but he's hurt and I can help him." he slowly gets to his feet and takes the jadeite grace out of his pocket. "You can see this, can't you? The glow? It's a peice of grace, what makes an angel an angel. It's a healer's grace and I can use it to help Brett, but you have to calm down."

          "I'm not giving you his soul." The room starts to warm slightly and the items fall to the floor. "I'm not giving you mine either."

          "Then why should I clean up your mess?" The air starts to chill again at this response.

           "I'd say because you were my freind, but you weren't were you? You never cared for either of us, did you?" Denny's spirit flickers back behind the veil, too calm to maintain a presence. It's impressive that she could in the first place being so new, but she loves her brother. He'll find someone else. Fine. He'll hunt down the bastard that shot him and Michael. That should be a satisfying extraction.

            He turns to go but stops. Raphael would heal the little brat. So would Michael, and Gabriel. They'd want him to as well. And he did like Denny, even if he didn't exactly care about her really. She was a wonderful spunky little minion.

            "Fine."he walks over to the boy and touches the stone to his head. He doesn't even have to do anything. Raphael's grace just longs to heal, even a little peice of it. What would peices of his grace long to do? Well, if what a bit of him left over in Castiel did is anything to go by, it longs to take stubborn upstart rebellious little angels of dubious morality, loyalty, and ambition and turn them into princes of heaven and earth. Actually, that kind of sounds about right. He makes a mental note never to posses another of his siblings ever again.

             As he goes to leave something passes into him. Is Denny actually trying to posess him?

             "Oh no you don't little girl." he grabs hold of the etheric form with an almost exhausting effort.

             "What happened to April?" he hears her ask faintly. "Tell me the truth, Lucy. What am I? What's going on? What happened? Who are you?"

             "You're a ghost. You died, hit by a car. you were on the bridge with Jeff Healy and a drunk driver didn't make a turn right. I guess you couldn't bear to leave your brother. Though if you're worried about whether you'll go to heaven or hell, you're much more likely to go to heaven. It actually takes a lot to go to hell, you have to basically reject heaven and everything it stands for through major blashphemy, conscious choice, or making deals. Especially after the Nazarite. But you're a good woman, righteous even. Though they are a bunch of dicks up there so I'm not surprised you're reluctant. It is better than hell though."

              "Oh." she starts to fade back again.

              "What are you tied to? Your brother? You'll drive him insane haunting him like this. Or maybe you'll lose your temper and lose control and hurt him again. You should really move on. The way things are now, they might even let you come back to him, maybe reborn as his daughter or son. If you make your pleas to Gabriel, I'm sure she'll help you. So you really should move on."

               "And leave you alone with my brother? I don't fucking think so!" She solidifies.

               "I need a soul." He explains. "I can't rescue my sibling without one."

               "Tell me the truth Lucy." Denny's voice begins to fade again, as does she. "I might just help you."

              "Why would you believe me?" He demands but she doesn't answer. "I can't tell you the truth, the truth isn't believable. And if I do and you stay you could be used against me. Why should I take that risk?"

              "Because if your sister is really in danger and I can help you save her I will." It's just the faintest whisper. He could tell her. and if she refused to help, he could just burn her remains, sending her to the abyss.

               "This peice of grace. This bit of angel." He holds it up. "It belongs to April. But her real name is Raphael. She's my younger brother. Gabrielle is my younger sister you pronounce her name Gabriel. Michael, Mi-kai-el really, is also my sister, the oldest of us all. They're angels, Archangels. We all were. But Raphael was the last to keep his grace in until this.

               "My name is Helel ben Sahar, but I'm not anymore. You can keep calling me Lucy, that's fine. I was once the favored son of god and heaven and I let my pride convince me it was worth it to sacrifice everything and everyone I cared about just to prove I was right. But it wasn't..." he grits his teeth, the admission grating like nothing he's ever said before. " It wasn't worth it. And now I'm losing everything all over again just when I thought I was getting it back and I will not let that happen. help me or not, beleive me or not, I will find a way. I don't care if I have to rip the souls from random strangers off the street to do it."  
                It occurs to him that none of his siblings would appreciate that, but his options are limited. What's one more crime on top of all the crimes he's committed already. They can quibble about it later, when they're all back and safe and with him once more. Now he has to leave before Brett wakes back up. Hopefully he'll think it was just a dream. If not he probably won't be stupid enough to tell anyone about it.

                 "Okay!" a shout breaks through the veil. "You can use my soul. But you have to take me with it."

                  "Very well." Luci stifles a smile. "But until I get a piece of your corpse to anchor you, you'll have to come inside.": There's no response. "just move to my body and try to take it as your own. Don't think. Just do it."

                There's a crash deep inside his core and he feels pushed to the corners of his mind. Nope. He's not taking a back seat in his own body. Not while his brother is on the line. It's not too hard to wrest back control. She's not even really trying.

                 "Does it have to be a peice of my corpse? Can't it be like baby teeth or a lock of my hair or something?" She sounds so repulsed by the thought, though all of that is technically a piece of her corpse.

                 "If you like." he shrugs. It's easier than breaking into the morgue or digging a grave at least.

                "My mom keeps them in her room in a little tooth shaped box in the chest in her closet." And they said his fan was creepy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last two chapters Lucifer / Helel didn't refer to himself by name or think of himself by it at all. If you noticed, I hope it wasn't too confusing. He simply isn't sure anymore. He accepted Helel from Raphael as it was clearly kindly meant and as a form of encouragement but he hasn't been that person in such a long time it barely feels right. Especially given what Michael said after their tryst. But he'll settle on something soon, so bear with us.


	33. The Quality of Mercy is Not Strained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci gets the hell out of dodge
> 
> Raphael doesn't check in with Castiel, so he and Dean investigate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to be fairly Luci centric for a while but Dean and Castiel are definitely going to be more involved in the story than they have been. After all Lucifer in on the loose, Raphael dead or missing and Gabriel is in an incredibly vulnerable state. They can't do anything else but what they're doing. Even if I wish Luci could have a little bit of a break.

      "Are you really going to carry that big ass guitar with you?" Denny demands in her noisy way.

      "It's my father's guitar. I'm not leaving it behind." he places the few hunter friendly beauty products from the gift basket into the back pack.

      "Angels have fathers?"

      "Just the One."

      "I mean less creator and more playing catch in the yard kind of father."

      "Well it was more like long talks and long walks in heaven and earth but yes that kind of father. At least to my siblings and me. The archangels, not the little fluffballs he made after. We had to take care of those."

      "Wait, God plays the guitar?"

      "And apparently had a cat blog." Lucifer just sighs tracing his fingers over the seams of the case. He hasn't been able to bring himself to look at that site anymore than he's been able to bring himself to really look at the guitar, much less play it. He can't. It's too painful.

      "Do you even play the guitar?" What an absurd question.

      "Yes. I picked it up the last time I was out. I kind of prefer the stringed instruments. Violin, guitar, chello..."

      "Harp?" She teases.

      "Yes. I had a surprising amount of down time and I do get bored fairly easily. Not quite as badly as Gabriel, but up there. After a certain point screams just all start to sound the same. There's no real challenge to pain. People call torture an art but it really isn't. You can finesse it, draw it out, increase decrease toy with the thought of a release, but when it all comes down to it, if it's not done with the specific goal of destroying the person, you're really just dicking around and you know it." he goes back into his room and takes the fan of his brother's feathers off the wall. he absolutely can't leave those behind.

       "I'm not really sure how to respond to that." Denny intones blankly.

       "Then don't. You don't have to talk to me all the time. Just sit there and enjoy the ride. Rest, dream, shut up for a minute so I can hear myself think." And she does. For about a minute.

       "Hey."

       "What?"

       "Can you stop by the hospital?"

       "Why?"

       "Mr. Healy's there, right? He's paralysed. You could heal him with your brother's stuff, right?"

       "There's a limit to it's use. It's a small piece and I don't want to drain it when I can't recharge it."

       "How do you recharge it?"

       "Return to heaven which is just point blank out of the question and probably wouldn't work with just a piece anyhow. Or augment with the power of a human soul, but I don't have direct enough access to yours to finesse that." What shirts should he bring? What should he wear? Should he take more or just less and clean them more. How will he get money to clean them. He'll probably have to rob a few people. He could probably pick pocket okay if he had to. Or card sharp.

        "So, souls are what? Energy?"

        "Yes, powerful energy. But not unlimited. Using yours will be a last resort." He sees Michael's shirt. A blue and purple bisexual plaid one Gabriel got him as a joke but he just used it when he was doing dirty work that he didn't want to ruin any of his other ones. Even though Raphael could easily clean anything, Michael was determined to go full method. It hasn't been cleaned yet and still smells like him and a little of that soap he used washing the car. Luci just slips it on over her shirt. It's huge and would easily conceal almost any kind of weapon. Maybe that's why those two wore so many layers. Huh.

         What else should he take? He can't come back once he leaves. He should check the fruit bowl in case there's anything important in there. He takes it down and fairly immediately sees that Raphael stuck Michael's journal in there. It's wrapped in plastic at least, but there isn't really anything else except car insurance papers. He'll have to take this. The backpack is a little packed already but he's not leaving Michael's private thoughts to anyone else. And the thought of burning the last bits of him that he has right now is just not good enough.

         One of the quinces is slightly over ripe. He picks it up and looks at it. It'll be the end of those damn quince jokes for a while, thankfully. and the beginning of the hunt. It's funny how all his siblings have been working together to try and tempt him into repentance, redemption and salvation. It's find of funny, kind of sweet, and more than a little heartwarming. Teasing him with quinces is just a pain in the ass. Symbolic maybe. Daring him to end with a quince, the fall that began with one.

         He's not exactly reformed though, maybe a bit repentant, though not as much as he should be apparently.  He certainly doubts he's anywhere near saved, but this time he is choosing them over his own vendetta. If only he could convey that in any sort of believable way. But Raphael was right. Words mean nothing. Not to the people who matter right now. They don't need him like they did before so there's no reason for them to give him the benefit of the doubt. He's no longer the lesser of two evils.

         Raphael said that Michael needs him to be brought back. He wouldn't have made that up. Not Raphael. But did he tell them that? Do they have any reason to keep him alive? Even if they did believe he was instrumental in reviving Michael would they risk it? Not likely. They left the elder Archangel in the cage, they'd certainly leave him in the abyss as opposed to letting the devil himself stay loose. It's doubtful Gabriel would be allowed to bring him back again either.

         And that's if Raphael is rescued and if Gabriel survives whatever her ordeal is. Is there a time limit? Could the Winchesters find him and his grace faster? Could they do it without endangering all of existence in the process? Less likely, knowing them, but possible. They have managed to avert almost every disaster to face mankind they ever faced or unleashed. 

          But at the expense of his siblings or himself or his father each time. no. The only family they can be depended on to save are each other. He can't trust them with his, he just can't. But can he make use of them? Maybe. Get them to do some of the leg work. They do have more resources. Sam especially is good at research. That'll work.

          Lucifer smiles and takes a bite of the quince.

 

         Raphael has not checked in. Every day at noon he is supposed to contact them in some way and today he hasn't. It's possible he's just delayed but it's better not to take any chances. Not with Lucifer involved.  Castiel attempts to contact his brother with phone and prayer but gets no response. So he takes himself to the cottage, keeping himself carefully concealed behind the veil so as not to disturb them if it's not a real cause for alarm. The cottage is trashed. There's blood and stained bandages and clothing discarded in the nearby woods, neither Raphael or Lucifer are anywhere to be found.

          "We have a problem." Castiel brings himself back to the picnic in the woods outside the bunker. "Raphael is unreachable and he and Lucifer are both missing from the cottage. There were signs of a struggle, and blood. Lucifer's. We must act immediately."

          "Right." Dean sits up, grabbing his jacket from under his head. "Sam?" he looks to his brother who's reading, his wife's head resting in his lap as she naps in the sun. She's really starting to show now. At least from that angle.

          "I'm taking her back inside the second you leave." He reaches for his own jacket. "Call me as soon as you find anything."

          "Will do. Cas?" Castiel apports himself and Dean as well as the impala to the cottage drive way. With Gabriel complaining about the chevy's suspension, she and Sam have been taking Castiel's car everywhere. It's at the very least a smoother ride.

          "What's this?" Dean stop seeing scortch marks in concentric circles on the light grey driveway joined by a long tail. There's a mostly scraped away pathway of what looks like dirt but smells like manure across one side. And on the outer ring near them is what looks like some burned flesh melted onto the concrete. "Who's is this?" There's a bit of bloody hay over what looks like vomit. Well, of course if something was burned by holy fire they'd throw up. The thought almost makes him want to.

          "Lucifer's" Castiel crouches down beside it. "The binding." his lips tighten,  "Holy fire can burn it off. Painfully and with irreparable scarring, but...."

          "Oh, awesome." Dean grimaces and walks towards something shining in the grass. there's some crumbled safety glass from a busted winsheild and tire tracks that come to an abrupt stop by the broken stone border of the raised garden. Nearby is a box of bloody hay and a broken tip of an obsidian blade. "Hey Cas, look at this."

           "Do not touch that." Castiel says quickly and uses a kercheif to pick it up himself. "That's rabbit blood." he comments.

           "That's a hell of a lot of dead rabbits."

           "I believe it belongs to Colonel Floppington."

           "I'm sorry, what?" Dean looks up at him.

           "Gabriel sent Lucifer a giant rabbit for a pet. She names him Colonel Floppington." Castiel gives his boyfreind a reproachful look as he snickers.

           "Oh, come on. The devil had a giant bunny rabbit names Colonel Floppington. That's funny."

            "The Devil most likely killed Colonel Floppington." The gravity in his voice as he says this sends Dean's laughter through the roof. "I believe the rabbit is buried in that grave by the murdered chickens." Dean looks over to see a bunch of chickens hacked into bloody feathery bits, likely raided by coyotes already, but a bloody axe is left deep in the ground amidst the carnage.

            "So it looks like instead of reforming Lucifer, Raphael simply drove him into an unstoppable rage instead." Dean looks at the grave marker. Colonel Gregory Floppington. He names him Gregory. And buried him. Or did Raphael? It's impossible to tell which is less likely. But clearly one of them did.

             Castiel frown at the mound and motions with his hands to part the dirt. He refuses to snap like his siblings, which Dean appreciates as the sound of snapping fingers always makes him extremely nervous. Especially since having Gabriel as a sibling in law. A raw flayed rabbit carcass, clearly missing cuts of meat is in the dirt. But underneath it...

            "Oh holy fuck." Dean brings his hand to his mouth. "I think I'm going to be sick. How the hell did.... What the fuck happened here?" While the carnage is hardly the worst he'd ever seen, the fact that Lucifer buried his brother beneath a dead rabbit with the dead rabbits grave marker just makes his stomach twist.

           "I'm not sure. This kind of damage. I've never seen anything like..." Castiel pauses and reaches a hand inside the carcass, reaching up to the skull and extracts a small green shard.

            "What is that?"

            "A peice of Raphael's grace. Embedded in Jadeite." Castiel frowns examining it. "I have no idea how this came to be. but it's... it almost looks as if his grace crystalized and them exploded. That would explain the damage but how would it crystalize in the first place?"

           "Well, at least it means Lucifer probably doesn't have it, right?"

           "I don't know. I'm going back to the abyss. This should be enough to help revive him at least. He'll need to recover but he can tell us what happened. Shall I return you to the bunker or will you question people in town?"

           "Let me look around here a bit. You can hear me in the abyss if I pray to you right?"

           "Yes."

           "Alright then. Go get him." Dean puts a hand on his shoulder, but pauses breifly, deciding to pull him in for a quick kiss goodbye, just in case.

          "I will return soon."

          "I'll be here." Dean is glad to see he refills the grave before leaving. The marker doesn't seem quite so funny anymore.

           The inside isn't much better. There's blood everywhere. Castiel said it was Lucifer's.  He must have been severely injured.  But how could he did a grave with this much blood loss? There's an open gift basket of quince scented bath and body supplies and a catalogue. Lucy's Garden. The Quince Edition. Someone actually gave this to Lucifer? That must have been hillarious.  No wonder he killed Raphael. Thought the catalogue is hillarious.

          There's a pad of paper nearby with a few sheets torn off. A quick layer of pencil reveals some enochian lines. Five words. he takes a picture and sends it to Sam with a request for translation.

           Clothes are gone. The violin and the infamous guitar are gone. It's impossible to tell what else is missing. There's a peice of fruit on the table with one large bite out of it. It's kind of an odd looking apple. or is it an odd looking pear? There are a few letters posted on the fridge with lumps of magnetic rock. Two invitations. One for Denise Hanlon's funeral and one for a memorial for Michael at the fire station this evening it seems.

          The archangel Michael, a fireman. Dean would have thought he'd join the police force if anything. though the background check would be too extensive, and the hours too long.

          He should probably go ask about them in town. Michael's memorial's as good a place to start as any. He is his brother in law. Though it's strange seeing him walking around in a copy of his father's younger body. What's even stranger though was how he went out, trying to protect the little brother he once tried to convince Dean to help him kill.

          Granted he's not nearly as big a douche as he was. Let's hear it for therapy. To think he laughed when told that Alex wanted to become a psychologist geared towards those aware of and affected by the supernatural. How the hell would you even train for that? And if you can do it, hunters aren't exactly the most financially stable bunch. Billing might be an issue and student loans are a bitch. Of course, favors from supernatural beings themselves probably come in handy. After having Raphael bring Gabriel fresh fruits and vegetables he can't eat canned or frozen or even just factory farmed crap again.

          "Raphael is not in the abyss." Cas returns walking into the bedroom and examining the restraints.

          "So he's not dead?"

           "It appears not. This blood is much more recent than the damage done to Raphael's vessel, by hours at the very least. It's possible that he was not responsible for whatever befell here."

          "Are you kidding? Those two were brothers in name only. You heard Gabriel. It' s not like with her and Michael. Lucifer and Raphael were never close. They never got along, and I seriously doubt this situation would improve things any. What do you make of this?" Dean takes out the tracing and hands it to him. Castiel frowns. "What does it say?"

         "Nothing. This isn't... these aren't enochian words. They're nonsense syllables. Maybe Phonetic respresentations. Ahaiyuta, Matsailema, Sebuloutche. Apoyan Tachu. I'm not familiar with this language."

         "I sent Sam a picture, maybe he can find something. Michael's memorial service is at the fire station in a few hours. Maybe someone's seen Lucifer."

         "Perhaps." Castiel motions to the mess, removing the blood stains and bandages, putting the house back in order.

         "We'll just tell them that she ran off and Raphael went to look for her. What is it?" He asks as Castiel stops and looks at the fruit on the table. "The apple?"

         "It's a quince." Castiel picks it up frowning at it. "Lucifer has taken a bite of a quince."

         "Does that mean something?"

         "I don't know."

 

         "You can heal your own arm after making a ridiculous little scene in the cottage, but healing your brother's best freind is out of the question?" Denny snaps as the hospital comes into view, starting that same nonsense all over again.

         "He is not my brother's best freind. He's my rival." Luci snaps. "And you and Michael both died because of his nonsense if you recall."

         "It was not his fault! Either of it. The mugger had the gun and chose to rob you, the blame is his. And the driver who hit me was at fault for drinking. Mr. Healy was just... unfortunate. How can you be so cold?"

         "How can you be so kind to that drunked ape?"

         "If you're going to blame Jeff for Michael, you know, you might as well blame yourself. If you hadn't run off he wouldn't have been in the park to get shot in the first place." The words strike a spot still so raw it makes it hard for Luci to breathe. "It wasn't. Lucy,it wasn't." Denny hurredly says.  "Helel...it.."

         "Don't call me that. Don't... Lucy is fine, remember. Let's just stick with Lucy." He pauses to take a breath.

         "There's nothing wrong with getting upset and leaving. There's nothing wrong with being in the park so late. You didn't kill Michael It wasn't your fault just like it wasn't Mr. Healy's."

          "Never the less." Luci shoves the thoughts away. "It's no reason to waste my brother's grace. Just a reason not to go in and kill him myself." She walks into the new age store with the hunter's signs in the window. "Hello, I need these items." She hands the shop keeper a list. "Your entire supply. I can pay with these." Lucy holds out three mossy feathers. The clerk straightens up, the protest dying in his lips. "I'm in a bit of a hurry so please, no masquarade nonsense right now."

          "Where did you get these?" he holds his hand out over them, sensing their true properties.

          "Don't ask." she grins.

          "Do you have anymore?"

          "Throw in the contents of your safe and cash register and I might."

          'I can't believe you're selling your brother's feathers. Can't they be used in spells or something?' Denny sounds so disapproving, though she only knows because he explained to her why they're valuable.

          'Yes and when the Winchesters catch up with my trail, they'll confiscate them and can use them to help find him or his grace, whichever they choose to focus on. I know what I'm doing.' Luci peers around to the back as the clerk disappears into the stock room.

          'While you're here, there's no reason not to at least pay him a visit. Tell him you don't blame him, even if you won't help him any other way.'

          'I do blame him.'

          'Then forgive him. For Michael's sake. You know he'd want that.'

          'You were so much more fun when you were outside of me.' He looks at an ornamental dagger that is just incredibly poor quality and terrible workmanship which is somehow priced higher than a simpler one of masterful craft and an actual titanium alloy. The human preference for form over function is boundless.

         'Yes, well, you were a lot less disturbing.' Denny retorts. 'You're trying to... to repent or redeem yourself aren't you? To become better in some way, well, here's a place to start.' he could just shut her up, but then he'd be alone with himself and his thoughts and thanks to Raphael that's little more than a torment.

         'Fine. If it'll make you happy.'

         'It will, and it'll make Michael happy and it might even make you feel better as well. Hey, see if they have any Northern Lights.' Of course the water pipes would draw her attention.

         'There will be no mind altering substances in this body. At all.'

         'You're way too tense. We both know you could really use it.' But she's quiet again as the clerk returns with the bags. The rest of the transaction goes rather smoothly, thanks to the clerk being the proprieter and not just a peon. Luci only have to sacrifice a shirt from his backpack to fit it all in. Of course now all he has left are a couple tshirts and one of Raphael's blouses.

         'Alright. he's probably still in intensive care.' Denny tries to steer their body towards the hospital.

         'I said I was going. Stop pushing me.'

         'yeah, well, you lie.'

 

         He looks absolutely terrible, pale, still, bandaged. It's ridiculous how fragile these bodies are. After a minute of watching his brother's freind sleeping in the hospital bed, looking so pitiful, he's had enough.

         'I'm waking him'

         'Don't you dare.'

         'We don't have time to hang around here.' he reaches down and shakes his shoulder. "Hey. You. Wake up." The man gives a start and grabs Luci's hand almost reflexively.

         "Lucy?" his eyes start to tear up. "Lucy... I... I'm so sorry.."

         "No.. .look.. um.." He awkwardly takes his hand back. "I know what happened. And I'm just here to say that it's not really your fault. So... there." He punches him in the shoulder. Jeff catches hold of that one as well.

         "Wait. That's this?" he gently touches the scar on her wrist. "What's happened? Who did this to you? Are you okay?"

         "No, actually. I'm in trouble and have to get out of here as quickly as possible so if you don't mind." he takes his hand back yet again. It's so disconcerting how he can't feel anyone touching them at all.

         "Is there anything I can do?'

         "Yes, if anyone asks about me don't tell them anything."

         "Lucy. I can never make this up to you. For what happened to Mike, to you. you said you didn't blame me but you do. I know you do. I do.."

         "Oh for... alright. Maybe I do, but I know Michael doesn't and I will... forgive you for your part in this. For his sake. Now. I have to go." He doesn't know why he's not just leaving already. He's not being held and Denny is behaving herself.

         "Do you need money?" He asks as Luci picks up her backpack again. "Or a car. My sister brought mine to the hospital garage. But I won't be using it anymore. My keys are in the dresser."

          "Well, it's certainly more convenient than stealing one." She grins.

          'You should heal him.'

          'Don't start.'

           'A gift is an obligation to be returned. This is a gift and you owe him even if he doesn't think so. Heal him or I start singing the song that never ends. And I'm warning you, I once kept it up for hours and that was when I needed to breathe."

           "Fine!" Luci snaps before realizing he responded out loud. "Jeff." he takes out the peice of grace and places it in Jeff's hand, cupping his own around it. "You're going to be alright. And Michael may be gone but isn't as lost as you seem to think. You're a good man and I'm very sure you'll see them again. Just not any time soon, okay?" The warm activation of grace fades and he takes his hand back.

           "If you need anything else, If there's anything else I can do to help you, just get a hold of me." jeff doesn't seem to notice that he's healed yet. Probably because of the pain killers.

            "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you." Denny forces the statement of gratitude out, the little brat. Why does he always find the most difficult people to share a vessel with? Not Nick though, Nick was too broken to be much trouble. He's probably not in heaven, though, given he said yes to the devil. Is he a demon yet? If so, maybe he could summon him and kill him to send him to the abyss so he can start over again someday.

             'You know..' Denny starts as he fishes the car keys out of the dresser.

             'Don't.'

             'I was just going to say that there's a McDonald's in the food court and you've been ignoring your hunger all day.'

             'I'm not eating that trash. We're stopping at a Whole Foods, stocking a cooler, and then I'm going to find a spot to track my brother's grace without interruption, and maybe, find out where Gabriel is, if she's even on this plain. If I can convince anyone to help me find Raphael, it might be her. At the very least, I can see if she's alright, and maybe find out why she needs Raphael so urgently. Maybe just having access to his grace will be enough to help her while I try and find him.'

             'You know, even if you are a fallen angel, you are a good sister.' Denny says, damning him with faint praise. He wonders briefly what she'd say if she knew, and wonders even more why he'd ever care. She's a good minion, a noisy roommate, and just a young human girl. It doesn't matter what she thinks.


	34. Sharper than a Serpents Tooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci searches for Raphael's grace but when he finds that Hell has become involved, decides to try and enlist his little sister's help. After all, if Gabriel won't believe him, who would?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JADE TRIVIA (thanks to the Crystal Vaults website)
> 
> Jade is composed of the minerals Jadeite and Nephrite. Green jade is considered a healing stone, purifying the body and soothing the mind, releasing negative thoughts, usually using dreams. It balances the heart chakra promoting mental and emotional well being. It represents nobility both in rank and ideals and assists in protecting from deceit and harm. It's also a growth crystal, providing a conduit for birth, development, creation,and renewal. Green jade is perfect for keeping a venture on track and promotes spiritual growth and commitment to a higher power.
> 
> It seems perfect to me as the embodiment of Raphael's true intended purpose.

 

           The pieces of Raphael's grace somehow managed to scatter themselves across several states, but there only seem to be thirteen of them, so that's not too bad. One he has and two are on the way to Gabriel in... Kansas? The most dangerous thing is Kansas are the Winchesters and they're not exactly there alot. Is she working with them? Against them? Either way, if they're involved this could get tricky. Especially with himself in this condition.

          'That is so cool' Denny comments and reaches out to try to touch the tiny slivers of Jadeite stuck to the map, but stops when it quivers at her presence.  'How did you do that?'

          "You didn't even get past biology. I can't possibly explain principles of sub quantum physics to you. So, magic, basically." Luci puts the board down on the passenger's seat. "We're this one. Here." He taps the second smallest piece. 

          'That one's moving.' Denny points to the very smallest one close to them.

          "That's the bit I left for your pursuers. Who ever found it on Raphael's body, that's them."

          'Kind of close, aren't they?' 

          "Scale, Denny. Besides we can track their movements now." He pulls out of the rest stop.

          'Can they track us this way then?'

          "No, this is one of the tricks I kept to myself. It doesn't do to teach your pupils absolutely everything you know. Especially not if they're demons and witches. I have quite a few cheat codes tucked into almost everything.'

           'What does...'

           "Hush, I'm driving." she pulls back onto the highway.

           'Seatbelt'

           "I'm wearing it." What is this obsession with seatbelts?

           'Shoulder belt.'

           "I don't think so, being almost killed by one once is enough for me. Now enough, pop back in and go watch tv or something." Luci looks at the large trucks on the highway. Just because she doesn't want to suffocate in a crash, doesn't mean she doesn't care about being in one and she's still a bit new at this.

           'I can do that?' She exclaims. Luci pauses at a stop light and when Denny takes over, shoves her immediately into a copy of the movie theater at the cottage, starting a Jurrassic park marathon for her. 'Cool, thanks.' As if it's not completely within the realm of human ability to do things like this. There's peace and quiet for a while, finally. That is until the first appearance of a dinosaur. 'What the hell is that?!'

           "Oh, I must have automatically corrected it for what they actually looked like."

            'Bullshit.'

            "I swear. Ask any angel, my siblings even, they'll tell you. Raphael laughed our heads off watching the original ones the other day. I thought I was going to reopen my stitches again. It really kind of takes all the horror out of it when you realize it. Like a bald eagle isn't so intimidating plucked of all it's feathers and painted weird colors. That's not what they sounded like either. Do you want the actual calls?"

            'Oh, God, yes. Please."  But this just results in more uproarious laughter in the back of Luci's mind that he's forced hard to block out. Apparently she hasn't had enough experience with birds of prey to really find them intimidating. It's really too bad the giant eagles are all gone. Watching them carry off random humans every now and then was hillarious.

              How did they ever think dinosaurs looked like that though? Granted they didn't have much to go on, but it's amazing none of his brethren even thought to correct them at any point. Maybe they weren't allowed. Maybe they just found it as hilarious as he and Raphael did. No wonder Gabriel had all four movies in every medium.

              The roars they used though made it sound like they all had major sinus issues, too, which they might have given how exposed those creations are to the elements. Luci wonders if they'll ever manage to figure out. And how. It's kind of amusing watching their stumbles and failures. Like watching Gabriel learn to fly crashing into Raphael, being caught by Michael, or just getting distracted and forgetting to flap and dropping out of the sky with a shreik. She would still do that if you made her laugh hard enough, like when that little one tried to step on that fish that eventually became humanity.

             He glances over to the map board and quickly pulls onto the shoulder. Two peices have gone right through the map. What does that mean? Sodden Bluffs is the closest one. Another peice of jade shoots through the map and cardboard, joining together with the first two underneath.  One larger piece fuses together with the smallest one on the map board. At least that one is relatively safe. He needs to get those pieces before they dissappear as well, wherever they've gone.

 

             14 West brown lane. an abandoned lot. Of course. Luci takes the small shard off the street map and ties it to a small oxygen filled balloon before letting it go, It shoots right towards one spot before the balloon bursts against the surface and the shard winks out of existence. A large dumpster. Was something inside? Of course it would be. Luci flips open the lid and peers inside, Hopefully it's just construction debri and not... oh, good, it's just gravel.

              But it's gravel dusted with sulfur. Great. Demons are involved in this. One must have found a peice of Raphael's grace and booked it back to hell. Making Hell move on a different speed of time was brilliant, but only if you're the one making use of it. They have hours and days of time to plan even just between receiving and answering a summons if they choose to make use of it. Not any of them are smart enough to, but apparently several are, at least enough to start finding and snatching up pieces of grace.  Someone must have seen the explosion.  Given the joining of the shards, it's obviously one faction and not several.

              If hell is involved, he'll need Gabriel. Luci isn't powerful enough to take on all of hell or even really stage a raid from the entrances. He'd have to be brought to the inner core and not many demons would do that without trying to kill him. Sure he knows all the back doors out of hell, but the ones in can't be accessed by humans alone. He can't contact a reaper and there's no way he's going to purgatory anyway. Invading hell even enough to just find the grace will require an archangel, or an army, or seriously unpleasant trickery that'll probably involve his own torture and mutilation. Hopefully he can manage to get a few more shards as well.

            The jade shard and broken balloon pop back into existence along with the smell of sulfur and it shoots behind him. Wonderful.

            "Hello, little girl." He hears behind him. Good, a talker. Though in truth it's rare to find a demon that will kill someone quickly or silently. They always dick around as long as they can justify to avoid going back. But it's useful at the very least. Luci turns slowly around to see a young man in a very good suit smiling at her. What is it with suits? They all look the same.

            "Hello."She smiles, using her sweetest voice.

            "What brings a sweet young witch like you out this way?" He steps closer. Oh, great. A lusty one.

            "Just working on my rock collection." She shrugs,  clasping her arms behind her back to accent her braless state.

            'Oh my god! His face! What's wrong with his face?" Denny's done with the movies apparently.

            'He's just a demon. And not a very bright one. Relax.' he shoves her back aside before the distracted demon can hear her.

            "I see,"  He leans forwards, putting an arm on the dumpster behind her. He's either trying to be flirtatious or intimidating, maybe both, but is totally failing to be either. "Have you found anything interesting?" he runs a finger along the chains around her neck, stopping short when he reaches the medallions, but unphased by the baby teeth. He looks breifly confused at them, and the small dog tag, but brushes it aside. Luci tries to hide her irritation and indignation that he would even dare, but he doesn't know who he is and shouldn't. But still, it took her forever to replace the medallions, especially the Saint Michael one. She almost overturned the damn table at one shop, but they wouldn't give the original one back due to the investigation. The dog tag was infinitely easier to get.

           "Maybe." He looks the man over, seeing a glimpse of metal under the jacket. It looks like an angel blade. How did a demon get a hold of an angel blade? "What about you?" Luci moves his eyes slowly back up to the man's face and gives a flirtatious smile. "Have you found anything interesting?"

           "Besides a pretty little witch, interfering in matters way above her pay grade?" He chucks her chin, a bit harder than he really has to. Luci just smiles and traces a finger down his chest. Who ever's letting them out now doesn't have nearly as tight a grip on them as he thinks or this one would never even consider indulging this way, not with a peice of crystallized angel's grace somewhere on his person. How stupid must he be not to have dropped it off first before coming back when he detected her or her spell.  But stupid and evil is so much easier to deal with than stupid and good.

           'What the hell are you doing? Just take the blade and stab him.' Denny whispers, getting surprisingly blood thirsty when she's nervous.

           'I know what I'm doing little girl, hush,'

           "Who are you working for?" The demon tightens his grip on her wrist which is really so scarred she can barely feel anything. Who the hell sent an idiot like this on an errant like this? "Crowley?" Unbelievable, that little worm just won't stay down, will he. It really is quite remarkable, and annoying. the next time he has the chance, he really should just crush the upstart and get it over with.

           "Hardly." Luci doesn't even attempt to conceal her contempt. "I would never work for anyone less than Lucifer, himself."

           "Oh, a devotee, I thought most witches were just lipservice now."

           "The most devoted you'll find. And he is not happy about what you are doing with his brother's grace."

           "What?" the demon falters. "You... I heard he was dead. Slain by the darkness."

           "Please, who the hell stays dead any more? Everyone else has been brought back, why not him? Besides who do you think encapsuled and shattered his grace in the first place?" she rolls her eyes. "Some human?"

          "Of course not," The demon tries to bluff his way out of bewilderment. He has no idea about anything. He's a small fish and an errand boy. "They can't take out an archangel that's... you say you work for Lucifer? Prove it."

          "Alright." He crosses his arms and starts to pull off his shirt. The demon steps back to get a better view, but she stops at the edge of her breasts and turns around. "You see my back?" He wiggles his hips to draw attention to the markings.

          "Yes?" An idiot. just... completely uneducated.

          "That's the predawn sky, June 3rd, 2017 centered around venus." She informs him. There's a silence that indicates an utter lack of comprehension. "The morning star? The last time it was at it's brightest?"

           "So that's what, his mark?"

           "It's not a naturally occuring birthmark, now is it? And it is a bit ostentatious, but not as immediately obvious as a pentagram." Lucy shrugs. "Who are you working for if not Crowley? I've been a bit concerned with caring for my King." She smooths down her shirt, and turns back around. 

           "Oh, Hodges is vying for control." he sounds almost embarrassed to admit it. Which Luci finds incredibly appropriate given who he just named.

           "Not Bertam Hodges." Luci groans.

           "He's the best contender so far. He found out about the grace shards and got us angel blades. We're going to take over heaven with these. Screw staying in hell, we want out." he pulls out the blade to display it almost proudly. Idiot.

           "You know these won't take out Archangels right? And besides Lucifer, there's Gabriel to consider, and..... Castiel." he forces himself to include the little impertinent one. The man just smiles and shakes his head. " Hmmm. So. Bertram hodges is a better bet than Lucifer?"

            "Uh, I didn't exactly say that, but... you've seen him? Really seen him?"

            "Yes, but his current vessels kind of lacking and he's really not happy going out in it. It's not the least impressive or intimidating. At least not until he starts killing things of course. Do you want to join up? We could use a man of your skills, even as an inside man. Might get me a better task than digging in dumpsters." She winks, buttoning up his jacket.

           "I don't know, I'll probably get killed if I even try it."

           "Or if you don't really. You're going to die again at any rate, that's a given. The question is, who do you prefer to be killed by? Bertram Hodges or Lucifer?"

           "When you put it that way, it's kind of a question of torture vs, disintegration, so honestly?" He gets a firmer grip on his blade. Well that's unfortuntate.

 

           'So much for an inside man.'Denny says dryly as Luci wipes off his hands on the dead man's jacket, taking out a fairly decent sized peice of jade.

           "Oh, lovely," he laughs and puts it in his pocket with the other one. "Ow," He looks at his hand. The two peices snapped together so quickly it pinched his finger. It's about the size of a ping pong ball now, though. He really needs to find a safer place to put it. If they have ways of locating it, then they'll come for his again soon.

           "What are you doing?" Denny demands as he takes the cash out of the dead man's wallet, and hey, he has a gun too. They're really expanding their arsenal. he checks the bullets and... it's melted down angel blades.

            "Those bastards. Do they have any idea how hard it is to get that allow to even blend together?" he puts the gun back in his pants. "You have to smelt it in the heart of a blue dwarf star and I don't even know if those smiths are still alive or out of the abyss or what." Luci shakes his head.

             'Lucy. We have to get out of here before the police come.'

             "Right." He walks back to the car, blade in hand. "Bertram Hodges. That's worse than Crowly." He'll have to hide the stones where they can't be detected and as that's unfortunate. It won't be at all comfortable. As soon as he gets in the car, he takes out the scalpel he stole from the med supplies and lifts his shirt. A slice just under his ribs and he pushes the rock quickly inside, nestling it in his chest cavity just under his breastbone. It starts to hurt just as it knits back together. Well that's a fortunate benefit. 

             'You are such a bad ass. But that's a little disturbing, too.' Denny Unconciously tries to take control to get closer to the warmth. 'Woah!' she exclaims as her soul connects with the grace infused stone, giving it a surge of power.

             "Don't. Go back." Lucy shoves her out and rushes back to lay hands on the corpse. Ressurrection easily takes care of the power surge before the grace can explode and the man gasps for breath. "It's okay." She pats his arm. "You're okay now. The demon is gone. You're not dead anymore. here." he takes out a pen and draws an antipossession charm on the back of his hand. "Get a tattoo of this and you'll never be possessed again. Okay? And tell no one of this or I will find you and kill you." Lucy takes the ID out of his wallet. "Again." She salutes him with it and goes back to the car. "Denny, don't ever do that again. You could have killed us." he scolds her and speeds away.

             'I'm sorry.' she apologizes a bit meekly, manifesting in the back seat. 'But, some good came out of it. You saved that guy. You brought him back from the dead, so that's a new trick you have.'

             "An old trick. And only because he wasn't that long gone. I don't have access to heaven or hell anymore so unless their soul is nearby or on this plain, no we can't bring them back. not really."

             'Could you bring me back?' Denny asks softly.

             "Maybe, but I can't really do more than aim this thing it seems. It does what it wants. and I only have your teeth right now. Maybe Raphael could do it from that, but I can't. "

             'And you wouldn't have my soul to use.'

             "If I could purposefully utilize Raphael's grace I wouldn't need it." Luci replies, "But even then, you wouldn't be you. You'd... You'd be built from code."

             'Meaning?'

             "You'd have the unaltered male body you were meant to have. Not what they made of you. You might want that, you might not, but it wouldn't be like going back. Besides you're dead and buried, mourned, you could never go back to your old life and old freinds anyway. If you're going to start all over, isn't it better to go to the abyss and wait to be reborn? Come back into an actual family instead of being all alone?"

              'I suppose.' She says before being silent for a long while. 'Where are we going now?'

              "To get Gabriel. We might need her to infiltrate hell and retrieve the rest of Raphael's grace. I definitely need to warn her that the best contender for the throne of hell is planning to nuetralize her and take out heaven. Whatever her task is can't be more important than that. Or at least, not more urgent." In truth, it's incredibly likely that Castiel will have to be involved in this as well. If she doesn't believe him, won't protect him, then he may just end up back in the abyss. Maybe it's better to go it alone.  No. No she's the one who brought him back, who convinced everyone else to give him a chance. If she doesn't believe him, he might as well just let himself be sent.

              'If she doesn't believes you?'

             "It doesn't matter. She doesn't have to take me at my word. She can verify it herself. And she will do that much regardless of anything else." Lucy tightens her grip on the steering wheel. She'll believe him. Of course, she will. But those horrible seeds of doubt freed by Raphael's tampering start to blossom and curl themselves around his mind.

            

 

              Lucy looks at the maps spread out onto the hotel bed. The remaining shards of grace have either disappeared as well or gone with the mobile one. That's fine though. Why not let the demons do the leg work when he's going to steal it from them anyway.  Gabriel's marker, a peice of butterscotch is in one place on the edge of Lebanon, Kansas. That's... that's where the Winchester's bunker is. If she's not working with them, then she's captured or trapped inside. Is he going to have to break into that thing?  Oh, no, the peice starts moving towards the highway headed right here towards Smith Center. he grabs the county map board and runs out to the car. He can catch up to her in a heart beat. She's not twenty minutes away.

              'You found her?'

             "Yes. Keep an eye on the map. Let me know when she leaves route 36." Luci shoves Denny out into the passengers seat.

              'I'm not really the best with maps.'

             "Well, it's not like you can take the wheel."Luci points out. Okay, how to get up to route 36t. Suddenly it occurs to him that Gabriel is probably driving somewhere. Why on earth is she driving? Obviously she's with somebody, but who? And why? It really seems impossbile that she's working with the Winchesters again. Why do humans insist on driving when flying is so much faster?

             'She's turned. South? Onto North Main Street?'

             " There's south main coming up. Is she above our below St Francis?"

             'How do you remember these things? You looked at that map like a second. I'd stare for hours and forget the city I'm looking at.' Denny sighs

             "Well, maybe if you hadn't smoked so much pot..."

             'Oh, come on. You're a fallen angel. How the hell are you so prissy?'

             "Prissy?" he half shouts. "Did you seriously just call me prissy?"

             'You heard me. Organic, Non GMO, pesticide free, cruelty free. You were vegetarian until your chicken vendetta, which is hilarious by the way. Brett told me the firemen had a betting pool going on what chicken was going to be murdered next and when and so on." Luci curses that asshole Michael breifly under her breath. He would have to tell them about that, wouldn't he? 'You know your brother was a lot nicer to Brett once he stopped dating you.' The comment makes Luci smile. So he was jealous and not just concerned for the boy's welfare. That's fantastic. 'Oh! She's at Smith County Memorial Hospital, turn right.'

             "Alright. And I'll have you know, I am not prissy. I have tried every drug, drink, sexual act, and violent act invented since the dawn of time. I am not prissy."

             'You are now. You won't even smoke weed. What fallen angel advocates against drug use?'

             "First off, If a demon or fallen angel wants you to do something it's never going to be for your best interests, even slightly. Ever. At all. And this body is mine.  I mean really seriously inescapably mine. I'm stuck with it for who knows how long and I am not fucking it up with that stuff. This is an issue of proper vehicular maintenance not morality. Not by a long shot. You all can do what you want with your vessels but I am not loosing mine any sooner than I can help it."

             'One it is not going to ruin your body and it might help you relieve a little tension. Besides I'm pretty sure living off Buccaneers Bounty, KFC, and Organic orange soda doesn't qualify as proper care and maintenence.'

             "I can't believe you're trying to tempt me into recreational drug use. You are a terrible conscience, Denise Hanlon." Luci teases, despite finding the entire thing incredibly funny, if not a little annoying. That's the worst thing about pot, how every pot head thinks its the answer to all of life's problems. They can get as sanctimonious as any of his father's most blind devotees. "I just want you to know that."

             'Is that what I am? I thought I was just your back up generator and travel buddy / navigator.'

             "There are roles we are given, and ones we take upon ourselves, my child. That seems to fall squarely under the latter."

             'Which is that? I can never remember which is former and which is latter.'

             "Former, first, Latter, last."

             'Oh, wait, you can't park there.'

             "Like I care about a ticket."

             'What about getting towed? This is a hospital zone, they don't mess around with that. Go find a place. Or better yet, use the parking garage right across the street.' she does have a point. having to steal a car to replace this one would be so inconvenient. But he really doesn't intend to be there that long either. So he pulls into the handicapped spot right in the first space in the garage. He knew stealing that placard from the van next to Jeff's car would come in handy. 'Oh, come on.'

            "What? I'm a fallen angel. I lost my wings, so technically I'm an amputee." Lucy takes the enchanted butterscotch and holds it loosely in his hands as he transfers it to the three dimensional plain.  He follows the tug as it tries to find it's way to it's target.

             'You know, if you could do that to bullets, you'd never miss." Denny comments.

            "Arrows were the original use for this part of the spell. But it won't stick to metal, they had to enchant the shaft." It seems to be pointing to the side, not ahead to the hospital. Of course, there's a confectionary right beside him. A huge one. Luci can't help but smile and starts towards it as the door opens.

             "Yes, but I'm getting three procedures done today. Three." He hears her voice.

             "Then you should have chosen smaller ones." Another horribly familiar voice comes from the behemouth holding the door open inside. No. Luci accidentally lets go of the butterscotch and it flies off as she ducks back into the alley between the confectionary and the garage.

            "What the hell." Gabriel exclaims. "Did someone just throw a butterscotch at me?"

            "Don't eat it."

            "I'm not eating a strange butterscotch that fell from the sky. And the size of the treats weren't specified in our agreement, you tryant."

            "Well, be that as it may, you're only getting one today."

            "What the hell is going on here?" Luci whispers. Not only is Gabriel with a Winchester but this conversation is just... what the hell is going on?

            "One will not be enough to relieve my stress. I am going to have to insist on your fulfilling your end of the agreement."

            "No. I'll take the penalty."

            "Ooo, We'll need to replace the handcuffs then."

             Luci peers out from the alley to see his little precious baby darling sister, kissing that monster, Sam Winchester. And not chastely or sisterly or...

            'You didn't tell me she was pregnant,' Denny coos delightedly. His attention is immediately drawn to Gabriel's stomach which is bulging out just enough to show that she's obviously with child. She... no.. 'Damn her husband is hot. And huge. How tall is he? No! Wait! Stop! What are you doing?"

             Denny struggles to gain full possession of Luci's body as he draws the gun out. No. Hell, no. The two start to cross the street. That... abomination placing his hands on her back to steady her. That bastard. That murderous selfish unspeakable... His hands are gone from his control and unload the gun, dumping the magazine before he can wrest back control. Doesn't matter there's still one in the chamber. That bastard is too big to miss.

             "Stop fighting me on this, Denise. You don't know who he..."

              'You can't just shoot your sister's husband! Especially not when she's pregnant, you psycho! You'll send her into early labor if he drops on the street right beside her.' And that bastard hybrid monster nephilim will just suck the life from her before it can even begin to die. This weakens his resolve enough to let Denny shove him aside completely and hurl the gun back down the alley as far as it will go.


	35. Luci's Temper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci does not take the discovery of Gabriel's pregnancy or her relationship with Sam well. b

          Pregnant. Gabriel is pregnant. They knew, too. They all knew. no wonder they indulged her in removing her grace. They were trying to keep the monster inside her human or at least from devouring every last speck of her grace in it's growth. Her special task. Her own unique physical properties indeed. That deceitful little... How could they have allowed that? Samuel Winchester? That's his One True Vessel. And their sister. Their little sister. That's their little baby sister with a goddamned WINCHESTER!

           Of course. Of course it would be. After all she can't just run away and hide, she has to become a pagan god. Several pagan gods! She can't just talk to him and Michael about their excessive fighting, she has to set up an obstacle course to trick them into courting and (completely absolutely invalidly) marrying each other so they make up. So of course she can't just fall in love with someone. She has to fall in love with Sam Fucking Winchester! This is beyond the pale. How could she?

          'Has anyone ever told you that you have a serious impulse control problem?" Denny snaps as he finishes decimating the television with the ugly blocky hotel lamp.

          "Never more than once." he retorts. "You don't understand."

          'Explain it to me.' She crosses her arms, getting a look remarkably similar to her mothers.

          "That man imprisoned me in the cage for centuries. He pulled Michael in as well, and his own younger brother. He has opposed me every second of his miserable existence when of all things in creation he most of all belongs to ME! He was made for me!"

           'So... you're jealous?' How could anyone get things so wrong. She is not that stupid. He knows she isn't.

           "He is not worthy to even look at her! How could she reduce herself to this? Not just a human, but that human? How could she do this to me? How did she make him love her?" His brain is screaming a million things at once an only a few of them slip out his mouth. It's unbelievable.

            'Luce, you need to calm down. Do you even know why you're mad? Why you're really mad? Are you jealous of him? Are you jealous of her? Will you just stop destroying the hotel room before somebody calls the police?'

            "Fuck the police! And fuck you!" He rips off the necklace of baby teeth and hurls it across the room, before storming out into the night.

           

 

           Luci stumbles through the store, grabbing more bottles and bottles of the hardest whisky, trying to drink faster than the grace inside him can heal him sober. It's a bit of a race.

           "Hey! you can't open those before you pay for them. Stop that." The clerk shouts. He just shoves a roll of bills and the fake ID from that karaoke night. She was pregnant even then wasn't she? No wonder Michael dressed to match. He always did baby her when she was hurt or... or... "That's my..." He starts when she takes the phone from the counter along with her Id. She just shoves more bills at him which shuts him up, and staggers outside.

           "Bastard.... you bastard... you bastard bastard bastard..."he punches in the numbers. The phone rings and rings going to voicemail. So he calls again and again and again. "Don't you dare ignore me you little bitch!" Someone finally picks up.

           "Hello?" His sister that traiterous disloyal, blasphemous sister, that

           "Whore! You traiterous whore! How could you?"

            "Who is this?" She demands not recognizing his voice. "This had better be a wrong number."

           "You.. Sam? Sam Winchester?"he has to pause and down as big a gulp of whiskey as he can. "You fucked MY Sam? My vessel, you little whore? That's sick! You're sick! You fucking traitor!"

           "Lucifer?" The sound of that name makes him go for another drink. "Where are you? Are you alright?"

           "Fuck you! How dare you? He's mine. YOUR mine! You have no right. He has no right! You are my song. Mine. Not his. He can't have you. I can't kill you. He's killing you, paseh. He's killed you. He.."  he needs another drink.

           "Luci... brother, no, I'm okay. It's okay. I'll be fine. Where are you? Please tell me where you are?"

           "You don't even care what I say do you?" he leans back against the wall of the building. "You don't even care. Just like Raph, you don't even care." He feels something empty inside so he fills it with more whiskey. It burns but he wants to burn. Just so long as he's not cold again.

          "I care. I love you, nii-san. Brother, please, tell me where you are."

          "Love?  You love Sam. You let him take you, how could you? That's... that's Sam. He's not good enough for you, paseh. he's nothing. He's worthless. He's just some empty little freak..."

          "He is everything humanity should be!" She finally yells back, like he knows she really wanted to all along. That concern and kindness fake, all fake, she doesn't care.  She cares about Sam, you can't care about him and sam both. you can't. "He's everything you could have been and more. He is my husband and I love him and you will not insult him to me. Do you understand? You don't even know..."

          "HA! I know. Oh, I know, little sister." He can't help a cruel laugh. "Didn't he tell you how much I know? I know him. Every inch of him. I have had him in ways you can't even imagine. Every way. He was crying my name when he barely even remembered yours."

           "Don't you dare try to spin what you did to him in the cage into anything but something I can barely forgive you for." her voice is so cold. When did his sweet summer breeze become so cold? It's that monster inside her, sucking her warmth away as it will suck her life from her.

            "You think I forced him?" The poor, naive thing. "Don't you remember, paseh? How it burns, that hellfire, those flames, and how good it feels to be wrapped in my wings after feeling their touch. Do you really think I had to do anything but give the choice? Me or the flames, paseh. How many people even needed the alternative? How many people chose me and the flames? You think he hates me because he had no choice? No he hates because he chose. They all choose, always. That's the whole fucking point!"

            "A choice between you and torture is not a choice. That's not how consent works and you know it." She hisses and doesn't say anything more for along time, there's just the sound of pacing and things being moved.

            "Gabriel... Gabrielle.... Are you there?" He calls sweetly to her. "He never thought about you, Gabrielle." He lies. "You died for him and he didn't care about you at all.. you think he does now? That he likes anything but that broken little body of yours? That you're anything to him but a way to strike back at me? When you're in his arms, he's not fucking you, he's spitting at me."

             "You arrogant little prick. Fuck you, Lucifer. you don't know anything about... about anything worthwhile..."aww, she's upset enough to lose words. The truth hurts. But if he can't live a lie, why should she?

             "No, fuck you. Lying to me. All of you. Why did you really bring me back? why? To torture me? Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck Raphael, and fuck.... just fuck all of you! I hate you... I hate... I don't hate you.." his voice cracks. It must be dry so he waters it with more alcohol. "You used to look up to me. you used to love me, you adored me and... and admired me."

             "You used to be someone worth admiring." She's so very very cold. No more cold.

              He shatters the horrid phone against the wall and smashes the rest of the bottles against the peices, breaking them.

             "Hey, easy there..." Someone grabs his wrists pulling him back from the shards as he goes to hit the pile with his fists. "Easy there, pretty lady. Don't hurt yourself."

             "Don't touch me." Luci stomps on his foot and draws her blade when he lets her go. "What do you mean by putting your hands on me, you filthy little monkey."

             "Monkey? Did... did she just call me a monkey?" He looks back to a group of young men smoking around a trash fire. "Do I look like a nigger to you bitch?" He steps forwards but she just points her blade at his chest.

             "You look like an ugly deformed shaved bald pink ass naked ape. Now back the fuck away from me before I hurt you." You'd think he'd be more impressive when this angry. Maybe it's the unsteady wobbling that takes away from it, or maybe it's just the breasts. They never really respect things with breasts, it's so annoying.

             "C'mon, boys. This little bitch needs to be taught some manners." he waves them over, adjusting his crotch in a blatantly threatening manner. Luci just starts laughing and lets the idiots come. It's their choice, after all. They always have a choice.

 

             Mercifully his little brother's grace  keeps him from awakening with a hangover like the last time he got in a drunken brawl. Unfortunately by now the blood has dried and his room is freezing, leaving him chilled, stiff, flaking and partially stuck to the covers. Time for a shower.

            Denny hurls the remote at him as he passes, but it misses and smashes against the wall. He is not in the mood for her right now, the self righteous little brat. why did he take her? He could have just found someone else. Taken anybody off the street really. He can seduce anybody into anything, it didn't have to be Brett. Why? Because he was lonely? Because they were familiar? Well screw that. He could have easily taken Jeff's apparently. Not that he'd have even gone to see him if it weren't for Denny's insistance.

            'Are you alright?' he hears her whisper from behind the veil as he sits desolately in the shower. She must be tired.

           "They attacked me, just so you're aware." he replies. "They really had it coming to them."

           'Then why are you crying?'

           "I'm not crying." He realizes that he is as soon as he denies it. "It's no use. There's no point in trying to be anything but what I am. I will never have them back. I will never be anything but hated and hunted and it doesn't matter how hard I try."

            'Well, it's not as if you've been trying very hard." Her annoyance and utter lack of sympathy gives her volume.

            "Fuck you."

            'No, seriously. So what if your sister is pregnant by and maybe married to someone you don't like? Boo hoo. She's still in danger isn't she? Are you just going to give up on her and your brother because of that? You are such a self centered, selfish little brat. And so frickin violent. Seriously. You need to get high and chill the fuck out. I mean it.'

            "You are such a pothead." Luci laughs despite himself at her last statement, though he's not sure why. " That's not a solution, Denny, it's a way to avoid solving things."

             'And your way works so much better. Who did you kill and should be fleeing the county yet?'

            "What's the point?"

            'The point is your family still needs you, that's the point. You've already lost Michael, will you let Gabriel and Ap...er, Raphael die too? And your little neice or nephew that's on their way?'

            "They'll never stop hating me. They never did."

            'Well, fine then, I guess they don't matter at all then. It's all about you, right? They're useless, stupid, worthless, things of no consequence who probalby even deserve to die.'

             "You watch your mouth, little girl." Luci hurls the travel shampoo through the flickering shade. "They are worth more than you could ever hope to be. Better than every other creature that crawls this miserable earth and you have no right to speak of them that way. Not in front of me!" He stands up, pulling on the shower curtain to do so.

             'Then why don't you grow up and act like it?" The curtain tears itself loose, flying up to Luci's face. 'Stop thinking about yourself and think about them. Either you want them to live or you don't. Either you want to save them or you don't. Which is it, Helel ben Sahar? Will you save them or forsake them?'

             "Don't call me that!" He storms out of the bathroom and starts rifling through his purse. He's got something to shut her up in here somewhere.

             'That is your name isn't it? Helel ben Sahar? Or was that a lie too? Like your suppossed love for your family. What are they worth to you? And don't you dare talk about what you think you're worth to them. What do they mean to you? What are you willing to do for them? Anything? Nothing? Or is your pride still so great that you'll sacrifice them instead of acting like the damn big brother you know you should. And all because of your damn opinions.

             Luci turns and hurls the handful of salt and paper shreds from the little take out packets onto her shade, dispensing her astonished form. How dare she speak to him that way? That upstart little shade? How dare she question his love for them? Would he ever have put up with half the shit he has from them if he didn't care about them more than anything. He would always, always have welcomed them to his side, at any point in time, always. But they never came, They always choose everybody else and she's placing it on him? Why because he's their older brother? He wasn't Michael's and Michael was just fine throwing him away.

             But he came after him this time. He reduced himself for him, to stay by his side so he didn't have to suffer alone. Michael sacrificed everything for him. He loved him and made him feel it in a way he refuses to believe was just physical chemistry. Michael died for him. Gabriel, Raphael, they're his younger siblings. He's their brother and he's responsible for them. They belong to him no matter what they think or say or do and nobody is allowed to take them away from him. Nobody.          

            'Ow! What the hell, Lucy? What was that?' Denny reappears completely, even more pissed.

            "Salt. You are a ghost. You don't like that. Iron isn't too pleasant for you either." Luci informs her, crossing his arm. She should know that he has other means of dealing with her tantrums at his disposal that just burning her corpse and sending her to the abyss.

             'I know you're upset. But it's not like your sister loving someone romantically means she doesn't care about you. She cared enough to try to hide it from you, right? Because she didn't want you to be upset with her.' Denny Hanlon,  decent minion, not the best moral compass.

             "That may have been for his sake more than mine." Luci informs her. He would have absolutely shot that bastard if she hadn't interfered. Likely emptied the entire magazine. Of course, that might have upset Gabriel even more than she is now, so it's better that she stopped him.

             'It's obvious that Gabrielle adores you. You just had to see you together to know that she really loved you. Even liked you. Really only you and Ap.. Raphael ever really seemed that strained, but every family has people like that.  And even then, you still stuck up for him when people were making unwanted advances.' Denny reminds him. All advances were unwanted, clearly, obviously, unwanted. It really pissed him off to see any of his family just disregarded by creatures that should be groveling at his feet for all eternity for the war he fought on their behalf. Ungrateful beasts.

            "Yes, well, whatever I thought of him he was still my brother and shouldn't be treated that way." he can feel himself get uncomfortable. "Just because someone doesn't murder you where you stand isn't an invitation." Amazingly that's apparently what it takes to get people to keep their fucking hands to themselves.

            'Yeah, some guys just... look. You killed people last night, right?'

            "Maybe a little."

            'You don't maybe kill people just a little, Luci. Either you know they're dead or you don't.'

            "Okay, yes. The ones that didn't run.  You'd think they all would have after the first one went down, but nope." he shakes his head. "They were going to beat me to a bloody pulp and rape me, repeatedly, in the bargain. They were quite vocal about it. Though hardly creative. So don't try to tell me I should feel bad about that. Because I don't. I'm a little tired of your nagging bullshit."

             'Fine, I won't, then. It's not like I'm after you about picking up your stupid socks, though,  Lucy. It's killing people. But we should get out of here then, before they come looking for you.'

            "Right. Let me finish washing off first." Luci goes back into the shower. The water almost instantly turns ice cold. "Holy..."

            'That's for the salt, you brat!'

            "That's it. You're no longer minion of the Day." Denny's snicker fades back into the veil. That'll give him some quiet for a little while at least.

 

            Sam looks down at the three bodies on the ground. They're fairly brutally disemboweled and castrated in the bargain.

            "Now, don't get me wrong, these were not good kids." The sherriff puts his hand to his mouth, wiping away the sweat. "If you knew the files they had, all the cases they've been implicated in, you'd know we won't exactly be greiving their loss, but still, who deserves to die like this?"

            "I couldn't..." Sam tightens his lips watching as the coroners prepare them for transport. "You said you had information about my sister in law?"

            "Yeah." he takes out an evidence bag with a fake ID. Lucy Pivensie, age 21, "Look, I don't know what she was doing out so late. I'm sure she's really a sweet kid, but one of the guys that got away said she had this... blade and... either she did it or was helped by someone or.... And even if she was just defending herself at one point this  goes way beyond...."

           "She really... Wait, defending herself?" Sam looks back to him.

            "The guy said they were just being 'freindly' when she insulted them and Big Ted there generally only responds two ways to insults, both involve violence, but one is special just for women. He and his freinds just have damn good lawyers that's all."

            "Wait." Sam holds out his hand to the corner as he goes to zip up the last one. "What's that on his forhead?"

            "Hell if I know. Some sort of weird satanic runes or something. Kind of gives me the creeps,  Their hearts and livers were removed. We know because we found them charred in a trashcan over there. If you have any idea where this girl is, or who she's running with... I know she's family but..."

             "No. I... .trust me, sherrif, we're trying to find her just as badly as you are. Can I just... can I see?" he points to the last body.

             "Yeah. Tell me if you know what it means."He motions to the coroner who unzips it again. Enochian symbols are carved into his forhead. "This... this is like my house isn't it?" The sherriff says quietly, leaning in close.

             "Worse." Sam sighs and takes a picture with his phone. "You're going to have to bury this. I'm sorry." Sam puts the evidence bag with the ID discreetly into his pocket. "For your own people's sake. This one, she's more dangerous than you could possibly imagine."

              "Alright. If anything else connected with this Lucy Pivensie comes up?"

              "You call me immediately. If you or anyone you know sees her, do not approach her or anyone she's with in any way."

               "Right. Hold on." The sherrif takes his cell phone from his belt as it rings. "Masters speaking. Uh,huh, yeah, no... no that's exactly what I'm talking about. I'll be right over there. There's something you might want to see, Mr. Singer."

 

              The hotel room is demolished, almost every peice of furniture and appliance is smashed. Enochian words are written across the walls in blood. Separated into four clear words. There's a pile of golden feathers stripped to the stem and a carefully placed bundle of large white ones on one of the beds.

              The other has a bunch of blood stains almost in the shape of a person, as if someone drenched in blood had just collapsed onto the comforter and lain there unmoving until it dried. There are also blood stains on a hotel towel in the corner and bloody torn clothing on the bathroom floor. The tears look almost clean as if they'd been sliced into instead of ripped.

              "Sam." Castiel appears along side Dean, startling Sherrif Masters, who turns to look at them. He didn't hear them come in. But Sam and his brothers do move ridiculously quietly.

             "Sherrif? Just chalk this up to a prank call. The room will be intact and spotless when we leave."Sam nods to him.

             "Yeah, you guys can have this one." He quickly retreats, giving one last look to the markings on the wall.

             "There are the remains of six people here."Castiel informs them after a quick inspection. "The blood of five, and a tooth." he picks up a corner tooth with small wires wrapped around it like you'd bind a stone for a pendant, a few ends are broken. "This is Denise Hanlon's. But her spirit's not here."

             "The blood?"

             "Four men and lucifer's. Most of it is mixed together, but only Lucifer's in on the wall." he looks up to the message, tilting his head in confusion.

             "Are those Gabriel's feathers?" Dean walks over to the golden pile of fluff and stems. It's mixed with bits of ash too for some reason. "Damn he really was pissed."

             "What does that say?" Sam nods to the wall.

             "Gabriel, nalapililisa. Samuel, jalapoli. Gabriel, forgiveness. Samuel, forgone. I don't understand if he's asking for forgiveness of giving it. There are no markers."

              "Either way that doesn't really sound like him." Sam forces himself to look at his spouse's decimated feathers. "He rendered them unusable. But why not just burn them?"

              "What are you doing here anyway? Why aren't you with Gabriel?"Dean looks carefully under the beds.

              "Sherrif Masters called me in. For this." Sam brings up the pictures. "I can't quite remember what these are . Jilila.. Jiladata.." he shakes his head and shows the image to Castiel.

               "Jililalidatam. It means inhospitable. It's what was carved onto the foreheads of those men in Sodom who attempted to accost Lot's guests." Castiel frowns. "That was the true crime of the city, the violence and rape, not the specific kind of act they forced upon their victims. I will never understand how people make some of the interpretations they do."

              "You don't think those poor bastards tried to be... inhospitable in that way to Lucifer? Man, talk about picking on the wrong person."

              "The sheriff did say they had a reputation and would give a reason for the castration. Though not for burning their hearts and livers." Sam opens the closet. Nothing.

              "He what?" Castiel's eyes widen in horror.

              "Which what? The castration or the burnt offering?"  Dean says glibly. Cas just gives him a look.

             "The burnt offering. Most likely a demonic summoning or some sort of tribute. Where was this?" He and Sam dissappear Leaving Dean in the hotel room.

               This is getting beyond confusing. Apparently Lucifer tried to steal he ex-boyfreinds soul, which is terrifying that he can actually just steal a soul now.  But he didn't and took off with the ghost of the boy's twin sister. He healed Jeff Healy from paralysis even though according to the man it was his phone call that inadvertantly got Michael killed and Lucifer injured. Given what he did to Castiel for bombing Michael with holy fire, by all right's he should have murdered the man instead.  He also bought components for some kind of tracking spell, which was all Castiel could figure out from the ingredients, he hasn't been taking the shards.

              There was this one guy in Northern Colorado who had filed a report identifying her as both killing him and resurrecting him. He flat out refused to talk about more than just that he was possessed by a demon.  How can lucifer do that without his grace? And if he had been able to take and use  whatever bits of Raphael's she had already, why drive? Or sleep? And then there's this.

                Gabriel, forgiveness. Samuel. Forgone. Forgone what? What did he forgo? Murdering him when he found out somehow that Gabriel and Dam were married and expecting? A chill goes down his spine. That's probably exactly what that means. Was he that close to him? That nearby? If so, why would he just walk away and go murder people then come back to do this?

                Nothing makes sense, nothing he's doing adds up at all. The only constant thing about any of this is that Lucifer is the biggest fucking drama queen he's ever seen. Like, Jesus, he painted this on the damn wall in his own blood? He couldn't leave a fucking note? Mail a letter? Seriously. But man, have they got to find him, and soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luci gets incredibly nasty with Gabriel here and I don't defend him at all. He was definitely a bitch and even if he did believe any of that, he never should have said it. He did it to hurt her and that's all because regardless of whatever progress he's made, he's a vindictive bastard and feels incredibly betrayed by this turn of events. Honestly, I think that if it weren't for his complicated feelings for Michael and his sibling's sacrifice, Denny's loss of temper would have only made things worse.   
>  Honestly, sometimes you know that you're only listening to someone because deep down inside you believe what they're saying and want to be told what they're telling you. I don't think for a second Luci would have kept Denny around if a part of him didn't want to listen to her, even if another part of him definitely did not. Though, if not for Raphael that part never would have been dug up enough to have any real influence. Growth is painful and difficult and frightening, even when you're not trying to come back from something as extreme as Lucifer.


	36. Old Nick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci ventures down into hell to retrieve Raphael's grace and emerges with a new complication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in case anybody looks up the enochian I'm using. I've actually kind of resorted to using proenochian, which is an english/enochian hybrid construct thing that just has a lot more words and the online dictionary (sinleb.com) doesn't make me want to rip my keyboard from my laptop in frustration while trying to find a reasonable equivalent in actual enochian. Though 'actual enochian' is like saying something is a 'genuine imitation'. So, sorry about that. 
> 
> Also apparently paseh, was actually pash, and I'd accidentally written down the phonetic pronunciation instead of the word but I'm going leave it like that because it's a little easier on all involved. I also have no idea how to pronounce Ahaiyuta or Matsailema or any of the zuni words I'm using. I'm limited to internet access for research and there's not nearly enough on the zuni people. Hopefully I don't offend anyone in my use.

       'Are you sure about this?' Denny asks as Lucifer stands in the old abandoned barn.

       "No, Unfortunately, there isn't a better idea. You're free to leave. I did leave a tooth at the hotel, in case you changed your mind."

       'Then how would... no.. I'm staying with you.' Deny swallows nervously.

       "Remember, stay deep inside me until I call for you. Not a word. Not a sound. Just play like you're actually my soul."

       'I'm not stained enough.' Denny teases and pulls into herself, tucked far into the corners of Luci's mind. Lucifer lights the summons. It takes a moment, but a tall leggy blonde appears in the devil's trap before him.

        "Hello, Bertram." He smiles at the woman,

        "I go by Desdemona now, but yes I was Betram Hodges. Not that they ever remember or that you should speak to me so informally. who are you?" The blonde snarls. "You'd think after killing the first seven... You.. You're the one who killed my errand boy aren't you?"

        "Yup." he pops the p. "He told me you were the next up and comer in hell." Luci starts to pave, his arms crossed, a finger tapping his lips. "I have to wonder how. How does a little sycophantic worm like you amass a following? You used to lick Alastair's boots. For fun. How the hell did they let you lead anything?"

        "Who are you working for, you insolent bitch?" It's like that's the only insult they have for women. Bitch this, bitch that. "Crowly? He's a little out of the loop. What he calls boot licking, I call learning. And I learned, and what's more I deliver.  Now, I'm assuming you didn't call me here just to insult me with old gossip." But Luci can tell his remarks hit a nerve. Good. He has to get him thoroughly pissed off for this to work.

        "Not at all." He clasps his hands behind his back, with his most innocent expression. "I'm here on behalf of our king, Lucifer. He's heard you have designs on heaven and wishes to make you a deal. I trust you received he tokens of good will the other night."

         "I did receive them. A deal, from Lucifer. Well, well, well, how thoughtful for a dead man." Bertram arches an eyebrow.

        "Angel. Dead angel. And not so dead either. But inconvenienced and so his most faithful devotee humbly brings to you his terms. " She gives him a stately but mocking bow.

         "I don't negociate with peons." Bertram snubs her without much art to it.

         "You aren't. I am our king's mouthpeice. When you speak to me, you speak to him. My words are his. Allow me to demonstrate." Luci holds out his hands to his sides. "You brought your hell hounds, noisy beasts, you didn't train them very well. Nilolos Uiman Namahel Nasi!" Seven invisible forms burst into white flames, shrieking in pain until nothing is left but pure white ash on the floor. How did this ass get seven hell hounds? Probably from his supporters. They won't be too pleased right now. But then agian, he has managed to collect most of the grace of an archangel. What are a few pets compared to that.

          "I see." Bertram doesn't even break a sweat. "Forgive me for doubting, but it would hardly be the first time an imposter arose. Tell me your terms. I'm sorry. His terms."  But the last phrase is still slightly mocking. It's all Luci can do to keep from laughing.

          "He has no interest in hell. Only heaven and is willing to leave hell in your hands, even appoint you his officially sanctioned heir. But in return, as a sign of good faith, you are to turn over the collected shards of his brother's grace."

           "I see." Bertram gives a thoughtful look, brushing back his hair. "How generous of him. I would be a fool to turn such an offer down, from Lucifer."He qualifies. "And I am no fool. Very well. I accept." An odd smoke starts to fill the room. "When Lucifer fetches his most insolent servant, I shall agree to whatever terms he likes. But until then, You will be paying me an extended visit down below, you stupid little girl." The air becomes hard to breathe and the world starts to darken. A Demon walks out of the shadows, an angel blade in hand and tosses some paint onto the devil's trap. "It's a funny thing, you witches protect against magic, but always forget about science."

          

             "Who are you working for?"  the blade draws yet another line in his flesh. creating hundreds of long thing rectangles going up and down his skin.

             "Lucifer," he repeats for the hundredth time.

             "Then where is he?"

             "Right here." He forces a smile. "I told you, when you speak to me, you speak to him." He manages to laugh at the demon before getting punched in the mouth, and the chin strap replaced.

             "Wrong answers." Bertram takes back the scalpel and pulls up a corner of one of the rectangles. "Lets try again in half an hour shall we?" He takes hold of the tab of skin and pulls.

 

            It's funny to think how he once complained of back pain all those weeks ago. But then, the body was new and he wasn't used to it.  He also hadn't held his wrists in holy fire until the flesh started to melt in order to remove his bindings either. What's funny is that screaming and cursing actually helps to endure the pain to a point. But all in all it's nothing compared to being trapped in the cage.

            "Sir. You're needed in the armory." someone finally comes to fetch him away for other duties. They must have finally found the shards he left out and the little trap it was in

            "Am I?"

            "Sebastian said it was urgent."

            "Very well. No one is to go near her. Understood?" Bertram strips off his gloves and apron and leaves the blade peircing her thigh. Finally, finally, finally, he's left alone in the room.

             'Denny' he calls to her. 'It's time to come out now.' she unfolds herself and exits his body, her soul taking on corporeal form in this realm.

             "Oh my god!" She gasps and quickly takes the scalpel out, cutting the straps of human skin binding Luci to the table.

              "Hey!" The demon at the door rushes back inside. Lucy quickly grabs the scalpel from Denny, and slices the demon's wrist, making him drop the angel blade that he had no real idea how to weild properly in the first place.

              "Stay behind me." he orders Denny who immediately starts binding her wounds with the leather straps from the gurney. "Oh, thanks." Luci hands her the scalpel. "And Remember, you are not a physical being, but these blades will hurt you, do not let them peirce you. Anything else you'll survive."  Luci scratches sigils into the unscarred patches of his skin to protect himself from demon abilities. Granted most of Bertrams followers are too young and stupid to really utilize their powers automatically,but there are older better trained demons down here. Does he really expect to take heaven with these chuckleheads?  The next demon dies very quickly, and his blade goes to Denny.

               It's like he built this place yesterday. They haven't really done much of it. The grace is in the armory, or at least the shards they took from his are. Bertram is probably having a hell of a time with his little golden goose charm. But it doesn't matter. The armory is dead center and surrounded by a million demons whichever way you approach it. How long will it take to kill a million demons? Seconds at his prime, but this is different now. He can't exactly sneak past especially not with Denny, and he can't leave her behind either. They need some kind of distraction. He looks back to her but she's gone. "Denny?" He skewers an approaching demon and races back to find Denny trying to open a door to a screaming woman clawing her eyes out begging for release in ancient sumerian. "What are you doing? We don't have time for this."

               "It won't open."

               "Of course it won't open."  Luci snaps. This is why you don't let the righteous run loose in hell. Especially not the young and innocent.... Oh, that's it. "Denny, you're a virgin right?"

               "What? Yes, unless that kiss of yours counts. I'm assuming you're asking for a reason."

               "We can open the doors. Every single door, lock and chain, but it'll hurt you like you've never been hurt before." If that's not enough of a distraction, he doesn't know what would be.

               "Okay."

               "Alright." Luci places a hand on her chest. "Remember, I did warn you." The soul of a righteous woman, pure in body and spirit.

                "JOLIL VANOS PIM!" He pushes into her sending the command ringing through the entirety of hell and every single soul is released from their bonds. It's too bad he doesn't have time to watch the carnage, it'll probably be incredbily entertaining. Denny collapses to the ground, unable to make a sound. Luci just picks her light, and now almost insubstantial form up with one arm and carries her down the hallways. The back hallways are pretty much deserted now, everyone rushing off to put the prisoners back. The alarms still blare though.

               "Denny." he sets her down at a corner and puts a hand to her face. "Denny, look at me. Can you hear me? It's okay, Denise. We're almost done."

                "You asshole." She mutters, lifting her head to meet his eyes.

                "I told you it would hurt. Just stay here. Stab everyone but me." He gives her an affectionate kiss on the head. "Best minion ever."

               "Fuck you." She lifts a finger.

               "I'll be right back." He pats her leg and runs down the hall. Only four guards are left. Fairly decent ones but the sight of a soulless naked warded human girl missing strips of flesh across her stomach and weilding an angel blade catches them by surprise. They're hardly knights, and not even close to  Michael, though they give Luci a better work out than he's had in a while. Though that might be because of her injuries. He went too deep for most of them and they're numb now.  Hell has really gone down hill, he's almost embarrassed for them. But then again, most of what makes a good soldier are virtues and if you're in hell, you're generaly short of them. It's always been an advantage of numbers more than anything.

                "You." Bertram draws an angel blade from the limbs of a familiar blonde weapons rack who doesn't even cry out it's removal.

                "Me."Luci smiles, walking forwards, "You should have taken my offer Bertram, and never, never underestimated me. I mean that." A look of fear fills the demon's eyes as without the bright light of Denny's soul blinding him, he sees past the human shell to whatever shattered reminents of Lucifer lie within. It's a pity he's so short on time. It really is.

 

 

                The shards of Raphael's grace lay in individual containers much like the golden goose one. he can only tell which one is his because it has peices of demon hands still attatched to it.

                "It's okay. Big brother's here." he whispers to it, stroking the glass top and it deactivates, letting the bits drop off. Each peice seems to be straining to the largest one. When he lets them out they join together and form a clump the size of a soft ball, sealing into a smooth stone as they do so. There's still a decent chunk missing but that's going to be very uncomfortable to hide. Ah well, it has to be done.

                A larger incision this time and a bit of rearranging of organs. Oh, for a light in the darkness it keeps healing... he covers the grace with a cloth and after reopening the wound again, shoves it inside, barely able to remove the cloth before it starts healing. His enochian curses as his body knits together, shoveing the grace around inside him a bit are loud enough to snap the focus back into the weapon rack's bright blue eyes for a breif moment. He always did love those eyes.

                "Hello, Nick. Long time no see." he looks him up and down. Aside from being peirced by hundreds of swords, the handsome blonde looks pretty much as he remembers him. "I wondered where they'd kept you. Granted I had more important things to do than stroll down memory lane at the time, but well, I'm here now." Luci starts pulling out swords, angel blade after angel blade from him limbs, and dumps out a small chest to store them in. How did they get a hold of so many? Oh, they didn't, the ones in his torso are just illusion. Of course, that would have sent him to the abyss.

               "Lucy?" Denny slowly makes her way into the armory. Probably drawn by the sound of his cursing. The blade is held loosely in her hand. "I don't feel so good."

               "I know. Come here." he waves her over and holds her gently. "I'm sorry, but you need to rest. Come back inside." Denny wearily presses herself forwards willing herself to enter lucy's body. She almost doesn't have enough left holding her to this plain to do it.  The angel blade drops on the floor.  It was kind of an odd sensation doing this here in hell, more than a little physical and slightly erotic. He can't use her again or she'll fade into the abyss. Can the soul recover without it's own body? Well, obviously, but is that just in the abyss. She should have a nice little corner of heaven to go recharge in, if they can make a decent heaven for her.

               "You." Nick looks into his eyes as Luci turns back around to face him.

               "Yes. Me." Luci bends down to unshackle his feet. He must have been put back immediately upon release.

               "YOU!" He lunges as soon as his hands are freed, wrapping them around satan's neck. It's almost pitiful, the weakness of his form and the healing powers of Raphael's grace render his efforts into absolutely nothing. "You promised me vengeance."

               "I know. I failed. Though it wouldn't have done anything for you anyway even if I'd succeeded." The man's strength fails him and he collapses sobbing at Luci's feet. "There's no time for this. I have to go. Are you coming? Or would you prefer to stay here?"

               "No. Please, no, but I.. I can't.." He clutches at her feet but is hesitant to act. Understandably. His last decision did land him here.

               "You don't have to do anything but carry that chest. My brother's need their blades. If you help deliver them, they might let you in to see your wife and child." The blue eyes look up at him giving him an almost heart breaking look. "I told you the truth when I said I couldn't bring them back, but not why. It was because they were in heaven, and I couldn't reach them there. I can't promise you anything, of course, given we're not exactly on the best terms ourselves, but it's a possibility." He shrugs. Nick just looks blankly at him and turns his eyes away. The truth isn't often attractive enough to want to believe badly enough to overcome misgivings. Nick just gets to his feet, picks up the trunk and follows Luci down the hallways.

                   He must kill a hundred more demons. It's kind of sad how boring it gets and so quickly.  And it's so dull and not challenging at all. He even lets a few stab him a couple times just for the sake of novelty but that doesn't help at all. The secret door at the end of the hall opens merely to his voice and Nick shoves the trunk through, but otherwise doesn't move.

                 "C'mon, handsome, anything's better than hell, right?" Luci holds out his hand. Nick still doesn't move so he takes hold of his shirt and pulls him along through. Of course his poor tortured soul will probably head straight back to hell if he doesn't put some effort into it at all, but Luci can only do so much.

                   He misses that body, that strong handsome virile body. It was fun, comfy, even if it was kind of a tight fit. And Nick wasn't any trouble at all, just content to sit in the theater of his best memories, just one bad one reaffirming his desire for vengeance and pain. He was the best vessel. Being a girl is such a pain. What is it with men and rape anyways? Not that men don't rape men or women don't rape men but it like the first thing they go to whenever a woman pisses them off. Rape her with various things. No, much better to be a man like Nick. Neither of them got to enjoy his body very much. Raphael's grace warms oddly inside him, pulling at his very flesh. What the hell is it doing?

                "Ow! OwOwOW!" he exclaims and has to bend over at the intense cramping only to realize as it ebbs, that he's still, somehow holding onto "Nick's shirt. Nick's shirt is there, on the material plain in material form. As is Nick.

 

               'What's wrong?' Denny's voice returns as Luci just stares at the man sleeping on the prepaid motel bed.

               "I have no idea what to do with him." Luci frowns. "Aside from desperately wanting to have sex with him that is."

               'I hear that.' Denny sighs longingly.

               "That's it? No comment? No outrage?"

                'Please, look at him. He's fucking gorgeous. I'm not saying to rape him, just.. yeah, I kind of want to wreck some furniture with him too. So much for that particular mine field now." She sounds a bit dejected, though she tries to write it off.

                "You know, if he's game, I could let you take the wheel, and go take in a movie or something. or we could just make it a threesome."

                'I.. I'm so tempted right now, you have no idea.'

                "Well, that is what I do." Luci grins. "But it really is a shame you died before sex. It's so much more fantastic as a human than just as a vessel."

                'Who did you sleep with? It wasn't Brett. And your siblings never let you out of their... that's... you didn't... not Gabriel!'

                 "What? No! Denny that's... no! How could you think something like that? She's my little baby sister? That's just.. .no. that's disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking of it."

                 'I just.. well, you were so extremely jealous and upset when you saw her husband and that she was pregnant I thought maybe your feelings were a little more than brotherly.'

                 "It's because she's married to my worst enemy. And if that's not bad enough he's impregnated her with a child that will kill her if we can't get Raphael back in time." Luci just cringes at the whole thought. "Next you'll ask if I slept with Raphael, you absolute pervert."

                 'Geez, I'm sorry. God, Lucy!'

                 "Obviously it was Michael. What's wrong with you?"

                  'WHAT? How is that any better?'

                 "And I really have been meaning to talk to you about your constantly invoking my father's name. I could tolerate it when we weren't together all the damn time but really, enough is enough."

                 'Don't change the subject. You slept with your brother!'

                 "Angels don't have genders and even if we did Michael would be my sister and I her brother. Clearly I'm nothing if not masculine. And I'm serious about this. How would you like it if I started saying 'Oh my Debra' all the damn time." Lucy snaps, noting that Nick's eyes are starting to open again.

                 'Actually that would be kind of funny.'

                 "Sure, maybe the first hundred times."

                 "Who are you talking to?" Nick finally speaks again.

                  "Oh, pardon my rudeness. Nick, Denny. Denny, Nick."

                  "Hi Nick," Denny steps out to the corporeal plain, gives a wave and steps back inside.

                   "What are you doing? You need rest, you silly girl." Luci scolds her. Nick slowly starts to sit up.

                   'I was being polite.'

                  "Well, don't be. I don't want you fading into the abyss."

                   'Aw, you do care.'

                   "Not at all, it's just that good minions are hard to find." He shrugs, not that he'd really let minions get away with this kind of lip, but sometimes you have to indulge the talent. Nick just raises and eyebrow at him.  "Nick here was my vessel for most of the apocolypse."

                    'Why am I not surprised you were involved in something like that.' Denny sighs.

               "You..." Nick starts forwards again but catches himself this time, grabbing Luci's wrists instead of her neck, slamming him back down to pin the form against the bed. "What do you want with me now? Haven't you done enough? Haven't I suffered enough because of you?"

                 "I have no idea. But to be fair, you did say yes to the devil. I manipulated the hell out of you to be sure, but you have to take some responsibility for your own choices. As for what I want with you, a roll in the hay is right at the top of the list. I'll even let you be on top, you know, seeing as I did pretty much wreck your body before. I figure it's your turn." Luci winks at him. "If that's okay with you, Denny."

                  'No, please, sleep with someone you're not related to you.. reprobate.'

                  "You brought me back to life to... have sex with me?" Nick's incredulous confusion is just adorable. and that cute little nose, So hot and yet so adorable, that was the best part about Nick. Just so incredibly appealing all around.

                  "No, of course not. It was an accident. But they did all really enjoy your body and I have to admit being incredibly curious. I forgot just how incredibly attractive we were. That and Denny died a virgin, so.."

                  'You leave me out of this!'

                   "I can't leave you out of it, Denny, you're possessing me right now."

                  "Fine! Have fun you skeevy ass pervert." Denny blasts out going into the bathroom as the door to is slams shut. Nick turns his head to it as it does so.

                 "She's mad because I slept with her crush. Plus she's alot more bashful than she lets on." Luci explains.

                  "Who else is in there? Who are you possessing now?" He demands looking over the youthful female body beneath him.

                   "Nobody. This little number is my very own, a gift from my siblings.  It's a long story, but c'mon.  You don't feel a little hate banging is in order? You were in hell for so very, very long, and all because of little old me." It's almost too easy.

 

                    "And I still don't know what to do with him." Luci sighs in the shower, which turns ice cold. "Denny! Stop it. I was frozen since the dawn of time and I am so done with being cold!"

                    'You slept with your brother, you.."

                    "He's my sister and there's no such thing as incest for beings incapable of sexual reproduction."

                    'You were both currently those very kinds of beings! That's how it was even possible in the first place.' She just has to harp on semantics.

                    "And those bodies are not siblings. We wouldn't be having children anyways. Besides, given as we were supposed to fight to the death and devestate the earth in the process, I can't help but think that taking our relationship in this new direction is a decided improvement. We weren't born, we don't share genetics, this is so far beyond a petty human thing." The water finally warms up again so he steps back under and finishes washing his hair.

                    'And that's another thing. When were you planning on telling me you were the FUCKING DEVIL!' Everything else but the water gets positively freezing.

                    "Probably never. You wouldn't have trusted me if I did!" He catches the shower curtain as it starts to move.

                    "NO FUCKING SHIT!'

                    "Besides I'm not that person anymore."

                     'Oh, please, you butchered several young men.'

                     "Who were trying to assault and rape me."

                     'It was excessive and you know it. You were going to kill your sister's husband, who given he's the greatest enemy of THE DEVIL, I can only assume is a good, worthy, righteous, wonderful man.'

                     "Don't you dare.."

                     'And now, you drag some man out of hell to be your little love slave?'

                     "I did not! I would never put that much effort into something like that."

                     'You made a body for him! And I'm... I'm just...'

                     "I didn't. Not intentionally. Raphael's grace is as stubborn and unhelpfully incomprehensible as he is. I mean what even is Nightvale, why is it purple and why is that the only thing on his playlist?"

                      'Welcome to night vale? It's fantastic, you have to start listening to it, you'll love it. And why should I believe you?'

                      "You shouldn't." Luci sighs, throwing up her hands. "I'm the devil. You shouldn't believe anything I say even when I'm telling the truth, especially when I'm telling the truth, usually. So just... go, I guess, move on to the next plain. Go relax in heaven until you get a chance to reincarnate."

                      'Screw that. I've been helping the devil. I'm fairly sure that's a one way ticket to hell. I am so mad at you right now, you don't even... AHHH!" She gives a frustrated scream and slamd all the doors and cabinets repeatedly until a neighbor knocks on the wall, then falls back into the veil.

                     It occurs to him that she might have a point. She's really just been trying to help him save Gabriel and Raphael, but heaven probably won't look too fondly on any of them if that's known. Castiel might be willing to bend so she can get in, but not enough to raid hell to get her out. He has to get rid of Nick somehow, the man's a mess. But he's obviously not fit to be shoved right back in with humanity at the moment. He'd never get out of the psych ward. Ever. It's not like there's a therapist who... actually....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raphael's grace, like Raphael has a mind of it's own and doesn't give two shits about what Lucifer wants or intends. And if maybe Luci intended to take Nick along as a spare soul to tap so as to give Denny a break, it didn't care about that much either.
> 
> I always felt sorry for Nick, having such an intense painful personal loss and a moment of weakness after torment after torment, where he gave in to his bad feelings and said yes to the wrong person. And it was clear that Lucifer did have a bit of a soft spot for him. Or at least his body, seeing how often he preferred to appear as him. When he had a choice.
> 
> JOLIL VANOS PIM directly translates to 'open, says me' And yes, it's a popeye/ ali baba joke. Gabriel would probably appreciate it a great deal. Like most passwords, it was changed frequently when Lucifer ruled. He was feeling a little playful the last time.


	37. Involuntary Commitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci disposes of Nick, gathers information, and continues on her way.

 

              "Have you found out anything yet?" Alex asks, balancing her phone on one shoulder as she fishes out her keys. The top of the paper bag tears, sending half the cans rolling to the floor. "No, I know, My professors have sent out questions to some other compuses but so far no one knows what language that is. I'm surprised Bree doesn't know. Doesn't she know every single language there is?... Oh, well, I guess I can understand that. It must be fairly obscure, then. Or old. I keep reviewing my notes but neither of them mentioned anything about Lucifer that would give a clue to this.... No, absolutely not. I understand this is important, but I have to think about my future relationships with every potential client to come, or even them when they return. I'm not stupid, if there's a connection, I'll find... oh, thank you." She looks up as a devestatingly handsome man helps her pick up the fallen cans. "Look, I'll get back to you. I've made a mess in the hallway. Just... let me know as soon as you find out if Raphael is alright.... Thanks.  Bye." She hangs up putting the phone in her pocket.

              "Do you have any other bags?" The man asks.

              "No, this is it. No car, either. Thank you." She holds the torn bag together with one hand and starts to fish the keys out of her pocket. "I'm sorry to be rude, but I'm kind of in the middle of a crisis." Alex turns around to see her door already open.

              "We know." Lucifer pulls her inside.The handsome man follows, closing the door behind him.

              "Oh my god."

              "Not even close."

 

              "It's okay." Sam gently rubs Gabriel's back as she lays on her side. "Really, it'll be okay. We'll find Raphael and get him back his grace, and everything will be alright." He forces himself to believe it, so she'll believe it and it won't drive up her already too high blood pressure.

              "What was I thinking?" Gabriel holds onto the pillow, willing the ache inside to just go away. "Why did I think we even had a chance at reforming him? He killed me, for Dad's sake. You'd think that would have cinched it for me, but noooo. I had to start remembering things."

               "Well, you did and so did I for a little while."

               "You did?" Gabriel turns over, wiping her eyes and looks up at her husbands face. He gives her a reluctant smile. "When? Not when you agreed to let me keep trying I know. You were just humoring me then."

               "Maybe. When you told me he helped you rescue those children, I started to think, maybe. I don't believe for a second that he actually wanted to or cared about them at all, but it did show he cared about you enough to just do it anyway,  He wouldn't even humor your father way back when. That's something."

               "He doesn't love me more than he loved our Father. Whatever reason it was he did it... it wasn't..."

               "No. I'm sure he doesn't, but it's a difference. It shows there could be a difference. When you took the darkness away it didn't undo everything or heal or fix him completely, but it did make a difference. And maybe we haven't found the way to really get through to him yet, but maybe one day." He gives her a kiss. "You have an eternity to keep trying after all."

                "I should never have done this." She shakes her head. "As long as you were alive or in my life I shouldn't have tried it. And now for as long as our child exists.. He'll never... After everything he's done to you... how could you have any hope for him at all?"

                "There has to be hope for everyone. There just does. I can't believe anything was created inherently evil and if something is broken then it can be fixed. Someday, even if we can't right now."

                 "I really thought things were getting better. He was actually being brotherly towards Raphael. They were never close, but Lucifer did once throw himself in front of a surge of Leviathan to protect him. That was after he got the mark, too. It shattered half his feathers. We weren't sure that some hasn't been sucked into purgatory honestly. And his don't regrow, they just turn into mist and return to him.

                  "For a while we thought he might not fly again and he never said a thing about it to Raphael. Not once, ever. Michael was considering breaking into purgatory to look. He even drew up plans and everything, but they were never used until Naiomi rescued Castiel. The cost was too high and while so many of our brothers and sisters would have been willing at the time, Lucifer was not willing to let Michael even try it. He had the plans hidden in the four corners of heaven the first chance he got. The first fight they had after we all recovered was when Michael found out they were missing." She gives a grin. "Mostly because they were replaced with a copy of the frustrated lecture Michael had once given the troops on the use of common sense in battle and not rushing headlong into situations you know you're not equipped to handle. The implied commentary was not appreciated." Gabriel grins at the memory. Luci was always a little shit, but sometimes it was a good thing.

                 "She's moving." Sam puts a hand on Gabriel's stomach as there are a few bulges in her exposed stomach.

                  "Punching. She's punching me. What, you don't like mommy's stories, either, baby girl? Everyone's a critic." She pokes her stomach right back, and does it again when the baby punches back.

                 "What are you doing? Don't get in a fight with the child in your womb, what's wrong with you?" Sam teases folding himself protectively over the protruding stomach bulge. "Don't worry, Daddy will protect you from that mean old Mommy."

                 "She started it." Gabriel's mock pout makes Sam laugh.

                 "Ow!" he moves his face away. "That actually hurt a little."

                 "You're telling me? She's really taking after her auntie Michael. This is not an egg, paseh, and you are not ready to come out, so stop it." She pats the other side of her stomach which is almost immediately kicked. "C'mon, take me for a walk outside so I can rock the little spitfire to sleep."

                  "I'm not sure that's a good idea." Sam protests, helping her to her feet anyway. "We still don't know where Lucifer is, who he's working with, and while that message on the wall was either giving or asking forgiveness, I have no idea what he meant by Samuel, forgone. What's forgone? I'm inclined to consider it a threat all things considered, and I'd like to live to see my child."

            "Forgone, past participle of forgo, synonyms, to do without, give up, waive, renounce, relinquish, part with, drops, abstain from, refrain from... Maybe the fact that he saw us and didn't immediately murder one or both of us on the street where we stood?"

             Sam turns pale and looks at her, his wide eyes informing Gabriel that he hadn't pieced that together yet. Probably a willful ignorance for the sake of his already stressed and worried mind. Plus the fact that no one did try to kill him made him think it more likely Lucifer found out from a second hand source.

             "You think he was there? At the hospital?" he wraps his arms tightly around her shoulders.

             "We didn't exactly go anywhere else that day. Except the candy store where someone threw a peice of butterscotch at me when we...."Gabriel covers her eyes. "He was tracking me. And used butterscotch as my marker." She cringes. "Of all the things she could have... Have you ever been torn between the desires to laugh and murder someone?"

              "Of course, I am your husband." he reminds her, and gets a punch in the arm for this. "Could it be a sort of... truce? A way of saying he's not going to murder me? If it wasn't written in blood..." But even then that really doesn't sound likely.

              "Was it in his own blood? It they both were it was more like an oath than a threat or demand, so it would most likely mean he forgives me and won't kill you, but I suppose I wouldn't want to risk your life on it. It's so hard to tell, he's so overdramatic sometimes. He also might still have been drunk so even he might not know how he meant it. He was pretty blasted when we spoke, he kept switching between english and enochian randomly."

              "It looked significantly fresher than the blood on the bed, so he was likely sober by then. But he did still make a burnt offering to a demon." Sam sighs and just rubs her shoulder. There's really no way to give that piece of information any sort of benign tilt to it.

               "Now, there is no way that one can be taken at face value, no matter what. Somethings going on in hell. Sampita."Gabriel smiles up at him. "Massam. My darling. We need a demon."

              "Absolutley not."

              "C'mon. No one will want Lucifer found more than Crowley and he's so entertaining."

               "No!"

 

                "What do you want?" Alex grips the arm of her computer chair, straining against the ropes. Not because it'll do any good or because anything good would happen if she did get out, but she has to do something or get overwhelmed with fear.

                "Well, several things. I have a little problem." Lucifer drags a chair over from the table, sitting in it backwards, and rests his chin on his arms.  "Someone's taken my little brother and I need to find out who and why. Unfortunately along the way, I've been saddled with a noisy opinionated ghost and somehow resurrected an old vessel." She looks over to the sofa. Alex follows her glance to see the handsome older man curled up into himself on the far end, gently rocking back and forth. "Yeah, Nick's not doing so well."

                "I thought you disposed of Raphael." Alex says warily. Lucifer's eyes get an angry flash to them as if the accusation was uncalled for, but he quickly stifles it.

                "A reasonable assumption." Her voice is still cold though. "But no. Ahaiyuta and Matsailema attacked us, ripped him from his body and shattered his grace into a bakers dozen." Lucifer shifts a bit uncomfortably, and puts a hand to her diaphragm. "I hurt you, didn't I?" She sighs and leans the chair forwards until she can tap Alex's forehead with her fingers. The familiar gentle warmth of Raphael's grace flows through her, healing a sore spot on her ribs, and the abrations around her wrists.

                "You're using his grace." She feels her heart speed up in absolute terror. Lucifer just sighs and shakes his head.

                "Hardly, his grace is using me. It's annoying, every person I touch it heals. If I'm near an injured or sick person it pulls at me. It's just as stubborn uncooperative and unhelpful as he is."

                 "Raphael is a thoughtful, kind, intelligent being and I'm fairly sure that the fact he gives you nothing but trouble is more a mark in his favor than anything else." Alex snaps, her irritation pushed past the breaking point.

                  "Awww." Lucifer gives a patronizing smile. "Somebody's got a crush on a certain archangel." he rests his head  on his hand, looking so condescending it pisses her off even more. "That's so cute, but I thought you were dating my nephew. Fenrisulfr, right? How does he feel about this unexpected little development."

                 "You know it's possible to care about someone without being sexually attracted to them."

                "Mmmhmm," Lucifer just gives her a skeptical glance and looks her over. "People mouth off to the devil for the sake of someone they just 'care about' all the time, I'm sure. You know, even if he did think any better of humanity than I do, isn't that fairly unethical of you? Getting so attatched to a patient?"

                 "Only if I sleep with him." Alex replies flatly. "What do you want, Lucifer." Oddly enough he doesn't seem to like hearing his name. That's... incredibly interesting.  
               "I want you to take care of Nick." The She-devil nods over to the man on the couch. "You helped Michael after the cage. I'm fairly sure you can help a human recover from hell's torment, right?"

               "I...I have no idea." Is all Alex can say, a bit surprised at the turn of events. Lucifer looks genuinely concerned for a breif moment.

              "I really miss that vessel. People act so stupid around a really attractive body. I mean really, if you had a choice between this and that." She motions to herself and then Nick, looking pointedly at Alex who doesn't answer. "Well?"

               "Oh you're actually asking that. Do you mean like, to wear? Or to sleep with? Because I'm both straight and cis so that really makes a difference."

               "Either. Though, seriously? He's not bad in bed. But I'd wait until he wasn't a giant ball of pain, greif and rage to indulge. You're not nearly hardy enough." She pats Alex's hands. Alex feels slightly disturbed at the thought and slightly distracted by it as well. "So, what do you say?"

                "To what?"

                "To counceling Nick. He'll probably have to stay here as I'm fairly sure he'd been declared dead already and, you know, he'd just never get out of the psych ward. C'mon, it's your thing." She nudges Alex's leg with her foot.

              "Do I even have a choice?"

              "You always have a choice." Lucifer sounds almost offended.

              "What I mean is, what happens if I refuse?" Alex clarifies, always an important detail.

              "Well, I can't have him with me and it'd be pretty irresponsible to just turn him loose on the street somewhere. I could kill him but then he'd just go right back to hell and that would not be fun for him, I can tell you that. Raph's grace brought him back, completely unexpectedly. I'm not even sure how as there wasn't a physical peice of him there. But then I don't know how he and Gabriel managed to create this baby I'm wearing now either. I've got to tell you I really wish I'd paid more attention to that boy all these years." Lucifer shakes his head and gets up again, stretching back, her hands over her head.

              "That doesn't really answer my question."

              "I guess it doesn't. I never thought about it really. I just assumed you'd help him. It's odd that I'd have such a high opinion of you, though I did like what you did with Michael. I'm probably getting sentimental.  Ah well, I do need you to give something to Castiel and when I get Raphael back, he'll probably need you. I'm fairly sure he's being tortured and tormented. Probably in a different human body and it takes a while to get used to pain. It really does." She puts her hand to her wrists. Alex notices the smooth, wharped burn scars and feels a brief moment of pity for her.   

              "If you bring Raphael to me, I will absolutely help him however I can."

              "Aw, I know you will, you smitten kitten, you." Satan is such a little shit.

              "But I can't make any promises for.. for Nick. Not under duress. But you know I'm not the kind of person to hurt him, and will do my best for him in someway regardless."

              "Huh. Good enough I suppose. Anyway, that's about it. Oh, right. Make sure this get's to Jeff Healy in Sunnyvale and this to Brett Hanlon." She places two envelopes from her bag on the counter. They're each lumpy with something in them.

              "Do you actually expect me to just say yes and do it because you're telling me to?" Alex's mouth just keeps getting the better of her brain. Why is she antagonizing the devil? Does she have any sense of self preservation? At all? Lucifer turns and gives her an amused smile.

              "No. I absolutely do not." She laughs and picks up a guitar case from behind the counter, so very tenderly.

               "Is that your father's guitar?" Alex asks gently, her curiosity getting the better of her.  Lucifer just gives a single nod. "You know, he's probably like it if you played it. Raphael told me how beautiful your violin playing is. You'd probably play the guitar at least as well, too, and it's help you feel a bit... closer to your father, now that he's gone."

               "Thank you, Dr. Phil. I'll keep that in mind." Lucifer says dryly, then smiles. "I knew Raphael liked to hear me play." she puts the guitar case down. "Would you care for a song?"

              "Absolutely." Alex doesn't need to feign enthusiasm even if part of her hopes she can stall Lucifer long enough for her prayers to get through to Castiel.

              "Alright, but just until my cab arrives." She pulls the violin case out of the back pack and rotates her wrists a bit, stretching the scar tissue. A lovely intro is soon accompanied by song. "Speak softly, love and hold me warm against your heart...."

                                            

 

              Alex can still feel the tears rolling down her cheeks as the last notes ring in her ears. That was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she's ever heard.

             "I take it back, you can't possibly get sounds like that from a guitar." she sniffs. The self satisfied smirk on Lucifer's face is much less punchable than Alex would have expected it to be and she hears a car honk outside.

              "My cab." Lucifer quickly finished putting the violin away and, taking the large backpack and guitar case, leaves the apartment without another word. Alex just sits there trying to figure out what the hell's just happened. And how could the theme to 'The Godfather be that incredibly beautiful? She looks over to Nick who seems to be crying as well.

              "Nick?" She gently calls to him. "Nick... Nick can you hear me?" But he doesn't respond, he just stares off into the distance. Crap. Where are obsessive, possessive, jealous boyfreinds when you could really use them? And why the hell hasn't Castiel come? A breeze from a window blows back a curtain revealing an odd sigil drawn on the window pane. Of course. There are probably wards hidden all over the apartment.

               And of course she really has to go to the bathroom now. She knew she should have gone in the sore but she could hold it until she got home, no problem. To hell with that. Next time when she has to go she has to go.

                "That little bitch," she hears faintly and something tugs lightly at the ropes. Alex freezes and looks around.

                "Hello?"

                "sorry, I... weak..." the voice says again.

                "It's okay." Alex sighs and wheels the chair back to the edge of the crappy metal computer desk. Finally that stupid jag that keeps tearing up the arm of her chairs will come in handy. She moves the rope back and forth against it, cutting the rope and a good bit of her hand in the process. It hurts like hell. Has it really been so long since she's been injured for this to hurt so much? It's amazing to think about.

               Finally it snaps and she's able to free her bloody hand. The other one comes undone fairly easily, comparitively, and she runs to the bathroom. There are sigils in there as well. Black permanent marker. So much for her security deposit. Alex wraps up her hand and goes to the closet to get the leftover primer. There's just a little but what the hell? It's enough to swipe through all the sigils she can find. 

              An empty beer can is knocked off the nightstand. She bends over to pick it up and sees another sigil underneath the bed. Great it's like an enochian easter egg hunt. On the undersides of the cabinets, behind curtains and paintings. Under the computer desk, behind the couch. Hopefully that's all.

             "Hello? Castiel? I have a ghost, a resurrected vessel and a gigantic trunk of god knows what left in my apartment by fricking Lucifer!" It's all she can do not to shreik, her nerves finally catching up to her. "So could you please maybe finally come he.." Castiel is suddenly there on the other side of the table. "So... I'm assuming that you haven't heard me praying for you for the last hour?" Alex controls her voice.

               "No. What's happened?" He takes her hand. "You're hurt."

                "That was from getting out of the ropes." She can feel her hand trembling as he heals it. "I have no idea what... I came home from the store and Lucifer was waiting for me. He left... Nick..." She waves to the man on the couch. Castiel looks visibly taken aback at the sight of him, drawing his blade on pure instinct. "That was really his old vessel?"

               "How did he... hold on a moment. Ms. Hanlon?" Castiel tilts his head and steps into the veil.

                Alex looks to the spot Castiel disappeared, then to Nick, then back again. Okay, obviously that guy's not a threat. She took him out of hell? Why?  Alex walks slowly over to him and crouches down in front of him.

               "Nick." she touches his hand. He jerks it back, the contact drawing his attention. "Nick. Do you know where you are?"

               "No." he whispers, looking at his hand.

               "You're in Souix Falls, South Dakota. I'm Alex Jones, you're in my apartment. I'm kind of a therapist for the supernatural community. Or I will be, I'm still in school, but I was counceling a couple archangels fairly successfully I think." She gives him a smile.

                "He lied to me."

                "I know."

                "He promised me vengeance against God."

                "Oh, well I'm fairly sure he meant it at the time, if it's any consolation. Are you hungry?"

                "Hungry?" He blinks as if hunger is a foreign concept

                "When did you last eat?"

                "I... I was alive...." Nick's mouth begins to twitch. "I can't even remember."

               "Okay. I'll make you some spagghetti. Poor college student, remember, I live off spaghetti. But I have great sauce though." From the leftover vegetables Raphael brought her. She almost feels like she wants to cry, but she doesn't have a crush.

               "Are you human?"

               "Yes." She replies and heads to the stove. By the time the angel hair (the speediest cooking pasta) is done, Nick has become slightly more relaxed. "I have hot chocolate." She offers. He nods a bit absently. He probably doesn't care.

               "He's not cold anymore." Nick comments as she places the plate down in front of him. "He used to be so cold."

               "Oh?" Alex takes the dirty... no it's clean. Why is there an empty clean mug on the coffee table? Oh. "Oh, for god's sake, she stole the honey sticks?" She lets out an exhasperated sigh.

                "Is this real?"

               "As real as anything I suppose." Would you feel better if it wasn't?" She tosses the mug of hot chocolate in the microwave and starts picking the cans up off the floor, seeing as she dropped them all over again when she was pulled into the room. More accurately she tried to hurl the bag at Lucifer, which didn't work out so well for her. Why would he take the honey sticks? Those were for Michael... Oh, that's kind of sweet actually. Still annoying, but sweet. Alex puts the soup she wants later on the computer desk.  The completely and utterly bare and empty computer desk.

               Lucifer stole her laptop. He has all her notes. On her sessions with Michael, Raphael, everything. Even her journal  and the make up paper and the whole damn stupid fictional character assignment. And having a password for you computer is no good if you have it taped to the bottom of the laptop because you keep forgetting it what with having so many stupid passwords to remember in the first place even when you can use the same one over and over. Given satan knew to take the charger too, she is clearly more tech saavy than most other angels anyway so that might not have mattered.

              "The ghost in your home is Denise Hanlon. I'll be taking her some place safe as soon as I can." Castiel reappears. "I am uncertain what to do with the vessel. He is uninjured but not well. And I don't know what kind of person he was outside of that."

              "Leave him. I'll find something to do with him. um, Castiel?" Alex looks back to the desk. "I need to tell you something..."

 

 

 

 

 

                           


	38. Prayers in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci searches for Raphael and has to face being being truly alone for the first time since she's awakened.
> 
> Meanwhile, Dean and Castiel are on his trail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So being in such prolonged contact with Raphael's grace is having an unpleasant side effect for Lucifer, though in truth it's the best thing for him. One of the treatments for a recovering narcissist is working on building empathy for others. Usually through mental exercises and such but having awareness of others pain inescapably foisted upon your being works, too. It's painful, but as Raphael once said, healing neither has to be quick nor pleasant and Luci has to heal. 
> 
> Also, he really is trying, but it's hard to break out of ways of thinking you've had for so long. So he often just ends up thinking in odd ways that just leave you shaking your head, going, 'oh, luci, no, no, no.' But he'll get there. He will. Eventually.

             Luci leans forwards, staring at the computer screen in the dull motel room. Unbelievable, Raphael fell in love with his own vessel? What is it with his younger siblings and vessels? Castiel and Michael's true vessel, Gabriel and Luci's true vessel... In truth, though that has to be what really happened. Of course she didn't fall in love with Sam Winchester exactly. She was merely inexplicably drawn to the true vessel of her beloved older brother. It's really more of a flattery than a betrayal.

             In truth, the whole thing was probably his own fault for killing her. She felt unloved, and was just acting out. And then finding herself in that pitiable condition, alone, vulnerable, in pain. He obviously took advantage. And now it may send her to the abyss. He'll definitely have to destroy the man if that happens. When she comes back she'll just have to understand. And if he can rescue Raphael in time to save her, then he can work on showing her the error of her ways in a gentler manner. If she must love and lust after humans, he'll try and find a more acceptable one, but hopefully it doesn't have to come to that.

            An angel would be preferable. But the rank and file aren't really good enough either. It would be incredibly appropriate if she could form a bond with Raphael. That way neither of them would be doing ridiculous things like falling in love with humans, vessels or otherwise. Of course given their mutually absure hang ups on human concepts like incest, that might prove a bit difficult.

             Zuni. zun-yi. Who are these people? Thankfully the hotel has free wi-fi and google is incredibly helpful. They're in New Mexico. Well, Raphael always did prefer warmer climates, the little shit. And those patterns and designs look familiar. Where did he see those? Oh, right on the crutches Raphael made for Gabriel. Guess he really is still carrying a torch for that human girl? Boy? Apparently he never actually specified a gender, which is odd. It's not like he cares about any of that sort of thing so why would he play the pronoun game?

             There is one easy way to tell, though.  Humans gender everything, even names, so just look up the name. Meli. Boys name. And a girl's name. Why does that child just have to be so difficult about everything? Who cares what he was in love with?

             The spear! Matsailema's spear. It had some of them around the handle. If only he knew how to spell it. There's not much online. It's a really small tribe, though fairly large as far as native people go. There's no possible way that some piddling pagan dieties from some tiny little nation could defeat him and Raphael both, no matter what their condition. It's just not possible. Unless Raphael was really hurt or injured.

             That morning, he'd assumed that his little brother was just upset over Gabriel or missing Michael.  But he could have actually been in pain. But that still doesn't answer how or what hurt him in the first place. he'd ask why his brother didn't let him know he wasn't well, but that's kind of obvious. Why didn't he let anyone else know? they could have.. what? Taken his place caring for Luci? He can't imagine anyone doing anything but sending him back to the abyss. Which means, Raphael was protecting him as much as he was protecting himself.

             He's honestly surprised Raphael didn't send him back. Of all his siblings, his brother had the least reason to either believe he could be reformed or helped in any way. But he tried and stayed and fought, making him look at what he'd run from and denied for so long. And all that while stopping time to do it, which was obviously so he didn't have to risk being away from Gabriel if something went wrong.

             He never was any good with time. That was Gabriel's specialty. How long it did it take? It felt like millions of years. The strain on him must have been incredible. maybe that was it. He was weak, exhausted. But that still doesn't explain the jadeite. or why it would burst like that upon fracturing.

             Lucifer feels exhausted. Which means he needs sleep and the stubborn grace will be knocking him out to make sure he gets it very shortly. It's as stubborn and irreverent as Raphael is. It could easily just keep him going, awake and healthy with no need to sleep at all, but does it do that? No. It likes to just knock him out, or make him so hungry he's forced to stop and seek out food. Luci used to be able to just skip meals as he wanted and eventually the hunger would go away, but not now. The brat just makes and keeps him ravenous until he's fed.

             And then there's the people. All the people. He's just pulled to them with the urge to heal just everybody. Especially babies and children, the messy things. They cry and he can barely keep himself from picking them up to comfort them and soothe their ills. The more he resists the more insistent it gets. The stubborn, bullheaded thing. And this is with a partial grace, contained within the jade, and not infused throughout his entire being. No wonder Raphael hates going down to earth. He must be pulled in a million different directions at once. Who wants to suffer at another's persons pain? Why would their father do that to him?

            And no wonder Raphael would just cry at first when anyone got seriously hurt. It must have pained him just as much. And how reluctant he was to fight.  What a burden. Maybe even one as great as the Mark. Why was he the only one of them who never tried to get rid of it though? They all had their burdens, didn't they? Gabriel and his messages, glimpses of the future that broke her heart and made her despair enough to flee rather than face the coming war. Michael and everything she was asked to do, to punish, banish and kill those she was created to lead and protect. Sometimes Luci thinks Michael was created to be the big sister their father wished he had, one who used all her strength and power to love and protect those under him instead of destroy. But it didn't turn out that way did it?

            Luci remembers the look in her eyes as he stood before their father in judgement, utter dismay and disbelief. He'd been able to avoid seeing Gabriel's face, but he couldn't avoid Michael's. She stood by their father's side silently as he and his father, accusations tinged with bitter dissapointment, defenses that now sound so hollow in his own ears, no matter how successfully they convinced so many others, When his sentance was passed down, banishment from his home, from their sides, her face just grew stiller and emptier and stayed empty as she stepped down to take him and cast him out.

             All through the trial, she was pure white. Every peice of her burning so brightly. When she took hold of him, she was white and blank as a living statue. When he plead with his Mitcha not to do this, her face stayed empty but she turned blue as the sky and cast him out as hard as she could. As he fell, he remembers her just burning brighter and brighter, bluer than the sky as if she would just burn out of existence. More blue than he's ever seen her since. Not even when he was condemned to the cage did she look like that.

            He'd thought it was anger, but what if it was pain? He thought it was hatred but what if it was heartbreak? Whoever said that blue was a cool dispassionate color, has no idea how wrong they are.

 

            Luci wakes and he's not sure why. But it's dark and he's uncomfortable, his face smashed against the keyboard. Of course.He's gotten lost in his thoughts and barely managed to turn out the light before the grace sent him crashing into dreamland. He stretches and looks outside the open window. He can see the stars. In fact it looks like venus will be rising soon. He's memorized the signs from every angle of the earth every day every year every season since Michael first placed it in the sky.

           All of a sudden he feels so very alone. Denny is gone. Gabriel... he's likely pushed her away for good now. Raphael is who knows where and Michael... Michael is trapped in the abyss, encased in a chrysalis of her own pain, healing but just as alone.

           Do prayers reach into the abyss? Even if they did, she's trapped without her grace, so even if they did, would she still hear them? What would he say if she did? 'Michael, I miss you.' 'Michael, I love you.' 'Michael, I'm sorry. Sorry I ever made you so blue.' 'Mitcha, I need you.' Because he does, and not even for anything, just for her to sit with him beneath the sky and watch the dance of her stars, and to eat all the honey and ruin the garden and sit and write in her journal as he plays his violin. Not for anything but for everything and nothing. Whatever she wants, nothing she doesn't. It doesn't matter, he just wants her back.

         This hunger is so raw. Why is he feeling it now? Is this another trick of Raphael's grace? Putting him to sleep and then waking him to burn in pain. No. that's enough. No more. He's already given everything he has to try and find the brat. He's not going to suffer this way as he does it. Not like this. It's too much to ask of anyone.

          Luci takes his blade and pressed it to just below the breastbone, making an incision large enough to take out the stone cast grace. But as soon as he puts his hand to it, it's healed. No. It can't be. He tries again and again until his torso and hands are slick with his own blood and he can barely grip the blade, but each and every time he heals to fast.

          After what must be a hundred tries, he gives up and lays there as the lost blood is replaced in his weak and weary body. When he can move, he walks straight into the shower, not even bothering to remove his clothes. They're all bloodstained so it doesn't matter. So cold water. he hates it but after a minute it feel familiar, numbing, in fact it chills him so thoroughly that just stepping out into the room is like being embraced by the warmth of Michael's wings.

         He hates himself for bursting into tears. That's what Helel would want to do, weak worthless empty hollow Helel. Helel is crying, sobbing on the floor, longing for his family in a way he hasn't let himself feel in billions of years. What's the point of all this pain? Isn't he already trying to change? To make things better? To do things right? Isn't he doing what he can to get them back?Why does he have to hurt like this? Why must he cry?

          And this time there's no Raphael to wordlessly hold him, no comfort, just solitude. He's alone, all alone and he can't bear it anymore. He can't. He never could, no one can. More than anything though he wants his Father. Wants Him to pick up His Helel ben Sahar and hold him close and say things that don't need to be said just so they can hear each other talk. He wants to just take it all back and promise to at least try to love them because He loves them and he doesn't want to go. That he's sorry and he'll try to do better and just keep trying. But it's no use. Their Father is gone and it's all his fault. If only he'd kept the mark like he was supposed to and not foisted it off onto Cain, the darkness would never have been released, would never have killed them both. Why should he have been brought back when they Father is just gone?

          There's a crash and discordant noise on the far side of the room. The luggage cot or stool thing has somehow collapsed and dumped the guitar case onto the floor, cracking a corner of the case. He quickly picks himself up off the floor and goes to it, picking it up and placing the broken case gently on the clean bed. When he opens it to check, the guitar doesn't seem to be damaged, but he takes it out and checks it all over just in case. One of the strings seems a little loose but that's it.

          He gently tunes it, paying attention to every sound and feel of it. It's just an ordinary guitar. Nothing special about it at all, except for that it was his father's. It has a few scratches on it, the finish is faded, the black paint chipped, and the strap is worn and frayed.The sound isn't even all that great even when it's in tune, but it's his father's and with all it's flaws that makes it seem like the most beautiful thing in the world. He plucks a few random chords that make him think of a few not so random ones. One of the favorites on Michael's play list.

          Maybe Michael can't hear him, but maybe he can. Maybe Gabriel and Raphael could hear him too. Maybe. So he tries to remember the tune and as he plays he sings his prayer.

          "I want you to know.. .that it's our time... you and me bleed the same light...."

 

          The worst thing about the bus is having to plead with the driver to let him bring both his backpack and his guitar onto the bus instead of putting one underneath, as you're only supposed to carry on one item. He's always been able to get it on the top so far, but one time it was only because another unladen passenger offered to take one as his carry on. They were going to the same place so the asshole driver finally relented. Ice blue puppy eyes don't pack quite the same punch as hazel ones, but Gabriel's lips are much better pouters.

          The second worst thing was being surrounded by people in such close quarters for such a long time. He must somehow look friendly and inviting despite his best efforts because the people who sit next to him keep trying to talk to him. Even though he's reading, or clearly listening to something on his headphone or looking out the window or two or three at once, doesn't keep them from somehow thinking they should be engaging him in conversation. It's unbelievable. Of course the fact that he keeps Raphael's grace satisfied by touching just about everyone he can in some way to heal their aches a bit just makes it worse.

         It makes it impossible to concentrate on his research.  Not that he's found anything about Ahaiyuta and Matsailema yet. Or Sebuloutche or Apoyan Tachu. Some of the stories are badly translated and hard to follow.

        "Ah, you're studying the A'shiwii." The intrusive old man beside him says sagely. A'shiwii? Right that's what they call themselves.

        "You know of them?" he asks disinterestedly.

        "Of course, my nephew is half A'shiwii. He's going to be one of the kachina dancers this year. He won't tell me which one. He's making me guess if I get to go see it."

        "Really?" Luci turns to him. "Maybe you can help me with something. I'm reserarching Zuni religion and someone told me about something to look up but neither of us had anything to write it down with, so I can't seem to spell it and look it up right. They're Zuni words I think."

        "I know a little bit." The man practically beams, making his bushy white bearded face look oddly plush and squeezable. "What words?"

         "Ahaiyuta, Matsailema, Sebuloutche, and Apoyan Tachu."

        "I'm not so sure about the last two, bu tI do know Ahaiyuta and Matsailema. The twin Gods of War and Chance. Their legends were his favorites. I'm not actually sure how to spell them either, but if you look up Morningstar and Eveningstar, they're called that too."

        "Morning star. Of course. There are more Morning stars in pagan pantheons than there are Elvis impersonaters in Vegas." Luci rolls his eyes and types in ' Zuni, morning star, evening star, war gods.' and there it is. "That was actually helpful." He can't help sound as astonished as he feels.

         "Yeah, I know I'm a dotty old badger, and look it." The old man laughs.

         "No more than anyone else." Luci comments putting the screen of his laptop down. "I don't suppose you'd tell me about them and save me from staring at this screen all day." He gives the man a winning smile. The man will of course want to chat the whole trip anyway. He's the type, so at least it can be about something relevant.

 

          The third worst thing about riding on the bus is the bathroom. Luci just pretends there isn't one and doesn't drink anything for as long as she can help it. He feels fairly justified in shoving past as many other passengers as he can to get to the station bathroom, though from their complaints, most of them disagree.

          Unfortunately the ticket to Albuquerque takes the last of his cash and he's forced to just wait, hungry over night for the next bus. There's no air conditioning inside and too many hot sweaty people going back and forth for the space so he just takes out a corner by the curb outside. there's no plug available for his phone either and since the only other option to alleviate his boredom is talk to people, Luci decides to play his violin.

          People actually start making song requests and toss money into the open case, so he just keeps playing until his fingers are sore. A few people are actually moved to tears when he sings along. his voice isn't as good as Gabriel's but it seems to suit the tones of the violin and guitar perfectly. By the time he's done, there's more than enough for a hotel and food for the next several days. He makes note to do this again at the next bus stop without a gentleman's club nearby.

 

 

         "Well, think about it." Dean says opening the door for Castiel as they enter the Velvet lounge. "How else would a young attractive girl get good money really quick in a way that wouldn't land her on the police blotter." Not to mention the dancers wanted sign in the window seems to be a permanent fixture.

         "I'll speak to the customers. You question the employees." Castiel says flatly and walks over to the tables as Dean heads to the bar.

         "Afternoon." He raps his knuckles on the counter top to get the bartender's attention. The man walks over to him. "Agent Daniels, FBI. Working a missing persons potential kidnapping case. Have you seen this young woman?" He hands the man a picture of Lucifer and Gabriel up at the mike at karaoke night, Lucifers image circled.

          "Yeah, she was here." The bartender grins, glancing over to Castiel. Several people there keep giving him odd looks for some reason. Dean clears his throat to get the man's attention. "I didn't see her with anybody. She was a sweet kid," Dean does his best not to roll his eyes. He's found that to be the default description for a reasonably pretty young girl 'sweet'. If they only knew how wrong they were. "Just needed to get some quick money for the bus. We had a call out, so why not? She worked for tips had an id saying she was of age. Interesting performance." The man's eyes keep looking back at Castiel.

            "Hey." he snaps his fingers by the man's face. "Focus. This kid's actually just a tall sixteen. And my sister in law to be exact, so this is a personal case for me. I'm not inclined to bust your chops over the age thing as it'd get her in trouble too, but I need to know anything you can remember."

            "Oh. I didn't... She didn't say much, I'm sorry."

            "Is there a reason you keep staring at my partner?" Dean finally has to ask.

            "Um, well, her performance was kind of distinctive." He looks a bit embarrassed. "I could have sworn she... she wore just a thong, blue tie and an trench coat buttoned with just one button across the chest and I'd swear it's the same thing he's wearing. the tie and coat, I mean. I make no speculation about the thong." The man grins as Dean shoots him a look, before glancing back over to his boyfreind. Castiel, having of course heard, glances over their way with an irritated expression. "She had them play Cherry Pie if that means anything? Oh, and danced under the name Angel Strings."

            

 

            "He's just mocking us now." Dean scowls, taking a savage bite out of his burger. "What is his game?"

            "I don't know. there were eighty seven angel blades in that trunk. I don't know how the demons acquired so many, but they were... as they should be, no enchanments or sabotage." Castiel can't stop frowning in confusion. The recovery of so many blades is a blessing, but a gift from Lucifer can never be taken at face value. Not to mention it begs the question of how many weren't recovered and who gave them to the demons in the first place. He's still having the ones in the trunk examined by every possible expert just to make sure there's nothing he missed.

            "Don't forget about Hell being thrown into absolute chaos. Billie came looking for Gabriel because there were so many demonic and condemned souls suddenly appearing in the abyss. She was sure that one of us was involved somehow and wanted to make sure we weren't ending the world again."Dean grins. Castiel is not amused. "Hey, who knows, maybe Lucifer didn't actually do anything to Raphael like he told Denny. Maybe he is trying to save him."

             "Lucifer has no brotherly regard for Raphael in the slightest."

             "Yes, well, he does for Gabriel at least. And she needs Raphael. That might make a difference. It would make him useful at least."

             "True. But why would he flee from us if he's innocent."

             "Well, innocent is never an appropriate description of Lucifer regardless of actual guilt in this specific case, but honestly? Because we'd gank him at pretty much the first opportunity?" Dean says, mouth half full. "And really, I'm just playing devils advocate, here. Literally I guess." he swallows his mouthful and shakes his head. "Of course he did something. He always does something. Even if he didn't I would have no regrets about sending that son of a bitch straight back to the abyss."

              "Generally, I'd agree, but..."

              "But? There's no buts. This is Lucifer, satan, the devil. he's not going to change. Why would he change? Maybe he could have been contained, but apparently not. I knew from the moment we were told what Gabriel did, it would end like this."

               "With Lucifer using me as inspiration for a pole dancing routine?" Castiel asks, straight faced and even toned, but still so obviously teasing Dean that he doesn't bother to glare at him.

               "With us having to hunt him down and take him out. I know you want to believe that anyone can be redeemed, but just because something can happen, doesn't mean it will. I mean that waitress could trip and send that pie flying over to land right in front of me with a fork dab in the middle of the slice, but that doesn't mean it's realistic to think it's going to..." he moves backwards as Cas gives a discreet wave causing that very thing to happen. "First off, that's cheating, and secondly that was more of a stumble than a trip." Dean takes a bite.

                "Things are always more likely to happen when you put a concerted effort into making them happen. And the other archangels have been. I'm having doubts about his culpability in this." Castiel hands him a napkin. "Or more accurately, I'm having hope."

                "You know that's what Lucifer wants, right?"

                "That would be true regardless of whether or not it's merited. No one strives for salvation hoping they'll be condemned and mistrusted regardless." Castiel points out a bit reasonably.

                "I'm just saying, you've been fooled by him before. You said yes to him. Don't think you're immune to his charms." Dean doesn't look up at him as he says this, knowing full well how painful that time was for Cas, how low he was, but it bears remembering.

                "Dean," Castiel reaches over and places a hand over his.  "He had you and beyond that offered a chance for your salvation and every humans alive. There's very little I would not do to keep you safe. I think you know that." There are a few comments when Dean leans over the tabel to give his lover a kiss, but he just flips them off and kisses him longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had times in my life where I've been so incredibly low and in such emotional pain that all I could do was cry and feel that I desperately wanted my mommy, even as a grown woman. I wasn't even close to my mother the first time, in truth I felt incredibly alienated from her for the longest time, which made it clear just how intense my dispair was. (We have since made up) I know I'm not the only one who's ever felt that way, so if you have, you can understand where Luci's at. If not I hope that reading this is the closest you get to ever feeling that way, unless of course, like Luci and me, it's exactly what you need.
> 
>  
> 
> He sings. I Want You to Know by Zedd featuring Selina Gomez. just fyi  
> Also Angel Strings is a brand of violins.


	39. A Game of War and Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer catches up with Ahaiyuta and Matsailema.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I did my best with the information I got from my research, I know this is hardly an accurate or complete representation of the zuni people and their culture. I did my best to be respectful of it, but I know I may have fallen short of what it should be. I wish I was able to learn more but there's not nearly enough information about them on the internet.  
> If anyone connected to the tribe has any comments on how I can make it a better representation, I would be more than glad to hear it and make any changes or additions you feel necessary.
> 
> hotda- grandmother  
> melika- white person  
> datchu-uncle  
> etso'ya- pretty girl  
> Ohachikya- tarantula

               Lucifer has to admit, the Zuni pueblo is beautiful. Especially in the light of the morning sun as it peers above the flat lands. Everything shines a rich playful orange, as if brushed with flames. It'll dull during the day but now it evokes thoughts of races in the garden, games and laughter, tumbling and tossing, Michael's smile. No wonder Raphael loved this place. It's a living embodiment of the happiness of his favorite sibling.

               The bright colours of the town are striking as well.  Turquoise pops out at every corner, with reds and black and strong vibrant colors in tapestries, drums, and other works of art on display, though not many places are open for business yet. The smell of fresh baking bread makes his stomach growl so he walks over to the ovens as the women take out a few solid looking loaves to cool. It's just as the squeezable old stranger said it would be.

              "Good morning." he greets them. They breifly look him over and nod their hellos before turning back to work. An older woman seems to be struggling with the pestle as she grinds corn. "Allow me, hotda." Luci places is things down out of the way nad touches her hands, allowing the grace to gently ease her arthritis. The younger woman looks a bit amused, but they let him attempt to grind the corn into meal. It's hardly the first time he's ground things in a pestle, though this body is weaker than his others. He makes up for it in sheer stubborness.

              "Hmm, not bad." The old woman comments rubbing her hands together, wondering at the vanishing of her aches and pains. Luci's stomach growls, embarrassing him further. "Join us for breakfast, melika?" she offers with a grin. The bleeding heart activist children can be amusing if annoying. This one carreid a guitar into the house with her. The artistic ones are usually the most useless and the most chatty, but this one actually knew how to grind corn and just silently eats the bread offered to her, a look of bliss on her face as if she hasn't eaten any decent food in days. She is a scrawny thing, though tall. She looks very young, barely a college student, but it's so hard to tell with them.

              "so," her daughter in law speaks, "What brings you to our humble pueblo?"

              "I'm looking for my brother." Is the surprising answer from the strange white girl.

              "Oh, is he here?" She can't remember a boy who looks like this one, but really they all kind of look the same. "Do you have a picture?"

              "No, but he should be with Ahaiyuta and Matsailema." She grinds corn passably, and says the names correctly, but is obviously badly misinformed.

              "The Ahayu:da are two of out gods, not people."The old woman gently pats her hand. "I think he was teasing you."

              "No, I know, I think that means he's on Thunder mountain. That's where they live isn't it? But I have no idea where." She shakes her head with a frown. "Pur sister is sick and I need to find him before it's too late. Do they have a shrine or special sacred spot? He'd likely be there. The best I've found so far is that they lived on the top of the mesa, but not where and there isn't much time to search it all randomly."

               "Your brother, what's his name?"

               "Raphael."

               "Raphael, he shouldn't be at any shrines or religious sites at all. The entire mountain is sacred and off limits to outsiders. You can ask the bow preists to conduct a search, or see if they've been brought any trespassers but I haven't heard of anyone being caught on it. It would be unfortunate for him if he were." She says sternly, hoping to impress on the girl that she definitely should not go looking on it for him herself.

               "Where are the bow preists? How do I get an audience?" She thanksfully asks an answerable question.

                "My granddaughter will show you to one. Tusa, show this girl, what was your name agian?"

               "Lucy."

               "Take Lucy to Lonyn and tell him that Malia said to give her every assistance." the old woman, Malia, prods her silent granddaughter forwards from her place in the corner.

                "Follow me." The girl sighs wearily and waves Lucy forwards. "He'd better not be raiding for artifacts." The preteen says as she leads Lucy down the streets.

                "He isn't. Raphael's not the type." Lucy sounds almost amused by the thought. Tusa just notes the saint medallions around her neck and rolls her eyes. Christians have no respect for other religions. Desecrating their sacred places is hardly out of character, even if they seem to think themselves above that sort of thing when confronted by it.

                "Yes, I'm sure he's a pillar of virtue and respectability." Her dry response seems to make Lucy smile. "You said your sister was sick?"

                "She's having a difficult pregnancy. She might not survive it. So it's important I find him."

                "My condolences." Tusa walks up to a door and knocks. A dark middle aged gentleman with strong cheekbones and gently graying hair answers the door. "Good morning Datchu Lanyn."

                "Good morning, Tusa. Is something wrong?"

                "This melika's lost her brother. Hotda Malia says to help the etso'ya find him."

                "Oh, very well," Lonyn looks mildly confused. "Please, come in." he ushers the white girl with the backpack and guitar inside. "So my mother in law seems to think I can be of some assistance to you."

                 "You're a bow preist?"

                 "I am, is that somehow relevant?"

                 "That's... you serve the Ahayu:da, Ahaiyuta and Matsailema, correct?"

                 "Yes, but I'm afraid any discussions of such things are limited. We aren't permitted to share much information with the uninitiated. You must understand that we hold our beliefs and traditions very dear to us. Is this relevant to finding your brother?" he motions her to take a seat and sits down in a chair across from her.

                 "Very relevant." she smiles.

 

                 Luci sighs and lays down on the hotel bed. Yet another religion of blind faith and symbolism. If their gods ever interacted with them directly they don't now. The Ahaiyuta and Matsailema he saw were hardly short twisted or misshappen children, either. They were strong handsom young men. But that could have been a glamour. That or artistic license on behalf of the story tellers. Maybe even a personal choice of the twins. Pagans are so often shape shifters after all.

                Luci takes a pinkish coyote fetish out of his pockets and looks it over. Gabriel would like this. He wonders if she was all the coyotes or just Huehuecoyotl.  maybe this coyote remembers her fondly. Maybe not. She did tend to irritate people with her pranks and the pagans all take themselves so very seriously. Of course, that's probably why she just couldn't resist. The arrogant ones are especially satisfying to trick and deceive.

                  He looks out the window, the sun has finally started to set, so he waits for the darkness then gets back up, takes his things and heads out across the desert towards Thunder Mountain. It's not far. Just three miles and the temperature is much more pleasant now than it was earlier. Heat is nice, but there's a limit. The range of human comfort is so limited. It's amazing how far they've spread out, going into the most inhospitable climates. If they'd never eaten the quince they'd never have been able to stray very far. If he'd realized that or how far they'd spread or that they wouldn't die quite so immediately after eating the fruit as he'd assumed, he might have tried a different tactic entirely. Of course, that's not something to be thinking about anymore. Live and let live, because that's what his family wants and they're worth the inconvenience.

                 "Good evening." An ugly hairy man in dull greyish clothing falls into step with him. "I can't help but notice you're out alone, at night. Are you lost? meeting a lover? Would you like to?"

                 "No." he doesn't spare the thing a glance. "I'm going to the top of thunder mountain."

                  "You're melika, not a'shiwii. What business could you possibly have up there?" The man asks almost jovially.

               "I'm looking for my brother." Luci reaches behind her, gently removing the angel blade from where she taped it to the backpack. "He's been taken by Ahaiyuta and Matsailema. Are you a freind of theirs?" This elicits an almost hissing snort from the grey clad man.

               "Hardly. How's your brother get involved with the terrible two?"

               "I don't know exactly but I have my suspcions. It's more of a failure to act as expected than a hostile action on his part. That or a misunderstanding. If it is, I intend to clear it up."

              "And if it's not a misunderstanding? Will you make restitution? Offer up sacrifice?" The man raises an eyebrow. "I don't think they play the guitar." he reaches for the case but finds a sharp blade pressed to his throat.

              "I will retreive my brother, and there will be no threat to him when I'm finished. Who are you and what to you want?"

              "My name is Ohachikya. And I want entertainment above all things. The Ahayu:da deprived me of a lovely suit a long time ago and I owe them for it. Alright, girl, give me a kiss and I'll take you to them." He puckers up.

             "You'll feel the kiss of my blade if you don't bring me to them." Luci grabs the collar of Ohachikya's tunic and moves the blade up to press against his chin.  The man just grins and grabs hold of Luci's arms, pulling him along as he leaps in great bounds to the top of the mesa.

            "Good luck." Ohachikya lets go of him and leaps away. Luci looks around. there isn't much, just a path starting down the side of the mountain.

            "Ahaiyuta!" he shouts, placing his pack on the ground by his feet. "Matsailema! I bring you an offering." Luci takes out a bag of cornmeal ground with turquiose and ash. " I request an audience with you."

           "I don't believe it!" he turns as he hears a laugh behind him. "Bile e'lle, grinder of my brother's kernals has come all this way just to see us." He turns to see Ahaiyuta jump down from the flat roof of a previously unseen home. "I'm flattered."

           "We should just kill her now." Matsailema scowls from the door way.

           "Don't be rude, Mat. She brought us something." Ahaiyuta takes the offered bag.

           "You can't have your brother back." Matsailema says bluntly, glaring at Luci. "He betrayed our people, stole one of our children from us, corrupted and destroyed her. Nothing you can say or do can save him from his fate now."

           "I don't know. I could kill you, that might save him from you." This statement causes uproarious laughter from the two. It's not unexpected, but it's a bit more than Luci feels neccessary, given how well he did last time while surprised and injured.

           "Oh, that's wonderful. Alright, girl. Come on." Ahaiyuta saunters closer and beckons him forwards. "Hurt me. Please." So Luci does his best to oblige.

            The elder brother is startled by Luci's speed and skill and is quickly forced to draw a blade of his own. His brother starts to laugh again and mock Ahaiyuta as he struggles to avoid Luci's blade, in similar mysogynistic terms that his brother must have made fun of him with after his younger brother's less than entirely successful attempts in subduing Luci in the first encounter.

            "I'm starting to like this one too. I'll fight you for her, Haiyu." Matsailema takes out his knotted sheild and tosses it over Luci as she goes to strike but he blade cuts through the ropes. It does however slow him down enough to let Ahaiyuta roll out of the way barely avoiding the blow.

             "Something's different about her." He cries out, his younger brother gaping breifly before hurling himself Luci, knocking him to the ground before she recovers fully from pulling the blade from the ground. "Keep her busy." Luci can easily counter his attempts to pin her, almost sliding out of every grasp he tries. He doesn't want to bring it to blades as he's fairly sure his strength is the only advantage he has. Luci's as tall as he is, and just as long limbed and is more than willing to scratch and bite should he have to as he learns fairly quickly when his arm gets within reach of her mouth.

            "Where is my brother?" Luci demands as he finally gets Matsailema underneath him and smashes his head against the ground.

             "Beyond your reach, broken one."Matsailema grabs Luci's wrist just after he recovers his angel blade. "This loyalty is admirable, but misplaced. Your brother killed millions! He's evil incarnate!"

               "Wrong brother." Luci only just misses skewering his throat.  There's a flash of light that strikes directly over his heart, but is absorbed entirely and fades into nothing, though the crash of thunder disorients him enough to get thrown off.

                "She must have the grace." Ahaiyuta puts his bow aside and grabs an obsidian blade with a broken tip from his retreating brother's belt. "I told grandmother to send us after the pieces."

               "Who are you?" Matsailema demands, scrambling to his feet, with his brother's assistance.

               "My name is Helel ben Sahar, the shining one, son of the morning, light bringer, and you've taken and hurt my little brother."  The feirceness in his ice blue eyes is almost terrifying.

               "Son? You're clearly not a boy." The twins focus on the least relevant thing in his statement, of course, because they're fucking children.

                "And you're not misshappen ugly dwarves. People change." Luci retorts, keeping hold of his blade. "If you were looking to smite evil, you took the wrong brother, you idiots. Raphael possessed Meli, with her permission, I might add, to fight Pestilence, to destroy the bringer of those plagues that killed so many of the humans here. he was the one betrayed, his vessel destroyed in his absence. Raphael is a healer. His damn name is 'God Heals'. His grace endlessly demands it of me."

            "You're not actually listening to this bull, are you?" The three look up to the roof of the house, where Ohachikya sits, legs over the edge, watching the fray. "She's obviously a liar."

            "You would know, you wretched spider." Matsailema snaps, not happy at having his humiliation witnessed by this creature.

            "How did you get those nice new bodies, though?" he quizzically rests his head on his hand.  "And are there any more where they came from? Mine is getting a bit tattered."

            "They were a gift from our grandmother, of course." Ahaiyuta flexes. "You can't possibly have one.You'd wear one of these out too quickly, burrowing in all your holes."

             "I thought your grandmother left you ages ago after that ogre skin prank."

             "Ah, she's over that now. Besides she's the one that told us about the archangel. I'd always just thought the plague business was the melika's fault. Hold on, I know who we can ask." The two bolt off down the path.

             "Horrible, horrible children." Ohachikya shakes his head and leaps down a safe distance away from Luci's blade. "How's your little sister, Shining one? Still afraid of spiders?"

              "You know Gabriel?"

              "Huehuecoyotl? Loki? Of course." Ohachikya shrugs, sauntering over, his thumbs hooked into on his belt. "Those boys are past their glory days and never pay close enough attention to world affairs. Those chuckle heads don't even remember that they used to torment that poor child, Meli back in the day. They practically threw that vessel your brother's way. Short memories when it suits them." He tsks, shaking his head.

              "Why did you help me just now?" Luci keeps his blade up. "What are you after?"

              "Helped you? I denounced you as a liar." The man looks offended at the accusation of assistance, but he knew what he was doing as much as Luci did when he picked a fight. warriors only respect warriors, and the best way to get endorsed as trustworthy is for an untrustworthy person to denounce you. "why would I help a broken bird? I eat the little things when I can. Though watching you wale on the boys like that as hillarious. For that alone." Ohachikya starts to clap.

              "My pleasure." Luci gives a little curtsy.

              "Really though, how is the old coyote? Finding out he was a she and an archangel at that. Epic trick. I'm in absolute awe. Is she single? Or is she sitll married to that hunter? I hear it was a hell of a wedding. And if she's not available, are you?"

               "Don't confuse me with her. I have no love for so called 'gods' and only your usefulness makes me refrain from destroying you as we speak. In fact the only good thing I can say about her husband is that he's not one of you." Luci cautiously bends over to take a bottle of water from his pack, a careful eye on the trickster who just shrugs and takes that as his cue to leave.

 

               "Helel!" Ahaiyuta calls as the twins walk back up the mountain. 'We owe you and your brother an apology. Apparently someone has deceived our poor old hotda. Come, we'll take you to her so we can correct her and she can tell you where your brother is."

               "Just like that?" Luci frowns. "Who did you speak to?"

               "The mountain lion of course. He is much better informed than we are about these things. He and the eagle are great gossips." Matsailema shakes his head.

               "We wronged you and your brother both so yes, just like that." Ahaiyuta waves Luci over. "We'll go find who did this and show them the error of their ways."

               "You expect me to trust you. After you attacked us the way you did."

               "Do you have any better option to finding your brother?" Matsailema snaps, clearly not over his beating. Though you'd think he'd be more respectful to someone who kicked his ass and not less.

               "We're sorry. We mean it, truly." Ahaiyuta puts his hands to his breast. "It was a misunderstanding. Please, forgive us."

               "You should be asking forgiveness from Raphael. You might actually get it from him." Luci puts the blade back, putting on her pack. That's one thing about being a girl, no one takes you seriously. You can give the most sincere threats and if you use the right tone of voice, people don't pay the least attention. "Lead the way."

               "I don't want her at our backs." Matsailema says cautiously, eyeing the glimpse of silver he can see between her back and the pack.

               "We can't expect her to trust us if we can't show her a little. Hotda's in kachina villiage." Ahaiyuta shoulders his bow and motions his brother along the trail. "Besides such a lovely stalwart warrior woman would never do something so crass as stab us in the back, even if she does sit as if she's got stones between her legs."

                "I absolutely would, so don't get fresh." Luci informs them. Ahaiyuta laughs, though Matsailema looks suspicious. It's clear who the smart one is. "Just out of curiosity, which one of you had the bright idea to skin and butcher my new pet?"Luci asks as sweetly as she can make her voice. In fact it's so sweet it's positively venomous. "The one sent to me by my dying sister who's only hope of survival is the brother we are now going to fetch." The way the twins cringe of this provides decent proof of their sincerity.

                "Don't mention that to grandmother. We'll make it up to you. We'll find a way to enlarge a hundred rabbits." Lucifer just shakes his head. What absolute children they are, bodies aside.

                "Please. Don't." Luci wrinkles his nose at the thought.

                "Well, what then? How can we make it up to you?" Ahaiyuta asks, though Matsailema clearly feels that he's rather pull teeth than do anything about that.

               "Unless we retreive my brother and get him his grace back in time for him to save my sister, there is nothing you can possibly do, so stop asking and hurry this along."

               "You'll move faster if you carry less." Ahaiyuta pauses and suddenly snatches the guitar case from his hands. "Matsailema, catch!" He tosses it to his brother who catches it and they both take off down the trail.

                 "Those little shits." Luci takes off after them, falling far more often than he likes to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael's Angelic Form  
> In case it hasn't been made clear, I see the archangels as embodying the four elements. Raphael's form reflects his connection with earth, Gabriel's reflects his connection with the air, and Lucifer's with water, though mostly ice. Michael, the archangel associated with fire, is essentialy a living flame. And flame has different colors based on temperature. Red is the coolest, fading orange to white then darkening to blue as the hottest. Her temperature is directly affected by the intensity and type of her emotions, kind of making her color a living mood ring. Anything beyond yellow is not generally a good thing, though she's rarely more intense than white.  
> And even then she could be anything from irritated to upset to pissed off to enraged or even just (rarely) extremely happy or excited, which is often impossible to tell as she works so hard at keeping her emotions hidden and under control. The other angels generally pretend they don't notice the color thing, and never bring it up to her. Not even Lucifer does as it would have the same effect as asking a pissed off woman if she's having her period and only take things in a direction he doesn't want to go. Plus letting her know how aware of it he is would be giving away a potential advantage, especially if she found a way to get rid of that particular tell.


	40. Why Grandmother, What Sharp Knives You Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci, Ahaiyuta and Matsailema travel to the Lake of the Dead to see their grandmother about Raphael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucy's prayer: 'Dust in the wind' by Kansas.  
> No special meaning to it, it's just a lovely song that seems to Luci like it would appeal to Raphael's nihilistic tendencies.

      "You are not a proper young woman." Matsailema censures her, nursing his arm. Luci finally got the guitar back by pinning his wrist to the tree with his blade. But his attempts to scold the devil just make him laugh as he checks over the guitar to make sure they didn't accidentally damage it.

      "And you, sir, are no gentleman." he mocks. This gets a snicker from Ahaiyuta.

      "How far do we have left to walk?" Luci ask, content that they didn't harm it.

      "Just to the river. We'll take a boat down to Listening Spring Lake and cross over to the Lake of the Dead. It's not more than a days journey." Ahaiyuta starts to whistle as they travel.

      "We'll have to stop soon." Luci looks up at the stars.

      "If you insist, though you can sleep in the canoe when we travel. We won't molest you." The fact that he feels the need to assure her of this is less than reassuring.

      "We'll be too busy steering." Matsailema clarifies helpfully.

      "I will not be sleeping." Luci states firmly hoping that the grace with cooperate this time. It did not, as he half expected, insist on healing the twins as he was fighting them, so it does have some sort of common sense. "You took something from my brother's body. That heart. What was it exactly? What did you do?"

      "That? That was a trick grandmother taught us. It removes the metaphysical heart, the essence of a person. It's easier than carrying a whole body and we were supposed to get his grace too, but it was also supposed to be this light we could trap in a bottle and not some exploding rock." Ahaiyuta shrugs, "What was that?"

      "I have no idea. I'll have to ask Raphael when I find him. What's that knife? Only angel blades should be able to cut through to an angel's grace." Luci nods to the obsidian blade tucked into Ahaiyuta's belt.

      "Another gift from Grandmother. She was very apologetic for leaving us as she did." Matsailema explains this time.

       "And rightly so, as it was just a childish trick and she really over reacted to it." Ahaiyuta sounds so indignant, probably unaware of how thin contant pranks can wear on a person, no matter how much they love you. "It's enchanted with the blood of an archangel apparently. It'll peirce anything." Ahaiyuta boasts. "The tip broke off on the grace but other than that it worked perfectly."

        Luci frowns. The blood of an archangel? How do you get a possessed vessel to even bleed? Who could have gotten something like that? When? Well, he'll have to find out and make sure they're wiped from this plain of existence. He looks up at the sky and sees Venus breaking the horizon.

        "We're stopping." Luci walks over to a nearby log and sits down, opening the guitar case.

         "That's what you guard so feircely?" Matsailema raises an eyebrow. "That doesn't seem anything special.

       "It's my father's and if you do anything to it I will do to you what was done to Colonel Floppington. That is all you need to know."

       "You're not going to fix my arm, are you?" Matsailema sighs. It's absolutely amazing that he thought Luci ever would. He's answered with a dark look then summarily ignored.

       "This one's for you baby brother." Luci whispers and starts to play. "I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moment's gone..."  
 

     "You know it's better for the environment if you don't use soap." Luci comments as Michael dips the sponge into the bucket of soapy water. "It get's into the ground water.." Michael just tosses him the bottle. Simple Green biodegradable. "Oh, alright."

     "They're getting better at this." Michael reaches across to get the middle of the windshield. For some reason birds seem to love the Prius, or hate it, he's not sure which. "It's really remarkable some of the things they have now. They're finally learning how to clean up after themselves." Luci just rolls his eyes and walks over to the hose, picking up the end before walking over to the spigot.

      "Good for them."

      "And crime is actually going down over all. It's hard to tell, but proportionately less people are... HEY!" he turns as Lucifer presses his thumb to the end of the hose, spraying his sanctimonious sibling out of the budding lecture.

      "What?" He asks innocently, not quite able to keep the grin off his face. "You're all soapy. I'm helping." Michael puts a hand to his face to block out the spray and picks up the bucket , tossing the filthy soapy mess onto him.

      "Uuuughhh! At least this is clean you..."And  Michael's started using the bucket to catch the spray. Crap. Luci drops the hose and takes off. Michael doesn't catch up with him until he rounds the cottage again and slips in a patch of mud from where the hose was resting and leaking water into a substantial puddle. The tussle ends with Raphael picking up the hose and spraying them both as Michael sits on Luci's back, slathering mud into his hair.

      "It's time for lunch. Wash up and don't track that filth inside or I'm not cleaning another damn thing in this cottage." though it literally takes only a snap of his fingers to do anything and he's just being a little brat about it.

       "You're an asshole, you know that?" Luci complains as Michael helps him up. Mud is just everywhere on both of them. Michael just smacks him a kiss and goes for the hose. How attractive do you have to be in order to still look that hot so incredibly dirty.

        "Lucifer..:" A new voice startles him. It's a deep familiar voice that's just so very out of place here in this... this dream... his heart sinks as he realizes that's all it is and everything fades away into an empty white blankness. Though Luci himself is still drenched and covered in mud. He wipes the relatively clean back of his hand across his eyes as some starts to drip down from his hair and turns to see that upstart, the little broken seraph Castiel standing behind him, trench coat and all. That routine was a surprisingly big hit. He'll have to do it again sometimes.

        "Hello, son." He greets him with a warm smile. This has the expected reaction of visibly shocking and disturbing the angel addressed.

        "What did you just call me?" As if he thinks he mishears, how cute.

        "Well, you were transubstantiated with a piece of my grace, were you not? What else does that make you but my son?"

        "I am no child of yours." The angel's cheeks turn red, making further teasing absolutely irressistable.

       "Granted, you're not the heir I would have imagine or prefferred. You're all together too fond of humanity by all accounts, but after all is said and done, you have done well for yourself, my son, and I'm quite proud of you." The sight of the upstart questioning all his life choices up that moment is just too much and Lucifer bursts out laughing. "I'm just teasing. I can't stand you, and think you're a waste of intent. Beyond that I have no idea why you of all angels have taken my place as heaven's favored son. Now what do you want from me, you little brat?" He crosses his arms, awaiting the fairly predictable demands.

       "Surrender yourself to me and return quietly and without trouble." That he has the audacity to suggest this is just unbelievable, no matter how expected. Luci stares at him without a word. "Gabriel's condition has not improved. It's worsened in fact and she's in the hospital on bed rest. Having to chase after you is taking me away from her side at a very critical time."

      "Maybe you should be rethinking your priorities then." Luci says cooly. "Or is catching me more important that our sister's life?"

      "Where is Raphael, Lucifer? You know he's Gabriel's best chance at surviving this. Even if you won't return peaceably, at least tell us what you've done with him." he pleads. "For her sake." Of all the... even with Denny's ghost to interrogate he still thinks Luci's responsible for what happened to their brother.

      "What did I do with Raphael? You mean after enduring untold torment at his hands?" Luci snaps. "I received comfort and nurturing. I tended the garden with him and played him songs on my violin. I argued with him because he's still a snarky little shit, and  I braided his hair the way I always wanted to try because it holds shapes in a way ours can't. And when Ahaiyuta and Matsailema came for him I fought beside him, though he tried to get me to run, and I lost with him as well."

       "Is that the truth?"

       "What's the point of that question? As if I'd lie and then say, oh,no you caught me, just because you asked if it was the truth. There is no reason for you to believe anything I say and every reason why you shouldn't. You never should have believed me, ever. So, no, I won't be 'surrendering' myself to you. And if you abandon my little sister in her time of need and anything happens to her, I will hunt you down and rip out your undeserved grace, reclaiming what I left behind. Do you understand me?"

         The two just look at each other for what feels like the longest time, neither glance wavering, despite how absurd Luci must look, standing there, still slathered in dream mud.

         "I'm no substitute for Raphael." Castiel finally speaks, breaking eye contact first. "I can't break the child's link to her or be sure of not interfering with the natural processes. All I can do is restore it to it's original intended resting state and child birth is an active changing process. I could kill her in trying to save her. You have to know this. Nobody has the finesse Raphael does and the angels most skilled in overseeing child birth were all killed in the wars. None of them are back from the abyss yet. We need Raphael, Lucifer. Gabriel needs him."

          "I will find him, Castiel. Let me be and stay with her. I don't care if you send every hunter alive and every angel in heaven after me in your stead, just stay with her and do whatever you can, or I will destroy you and everything you hold dear. If you believe nothing else, believe that."

          "I do." Castiel replies, showing at least a little sense.  He looks away breifly then returns his gaze to Lucifer. "Denise is safe. Heaven is closed to her, but Gabriel's daughter Hel has taken her into Helheim until I can fix things in that area. I did return the car to Jeff Healy. Hell's acquisition of the angel blades is being looked into. Whatever your intentions, we are grateful for their return."

          "'You should be the entire venture was unavoidably painful. How's Nick? Is Alex helping him or has she shoved him off to a hospital?" Luci asks feeling a bit odd about doing so. Why should he care anyway? The man served his purpose. Castiel just ignores the question and a breif change in the background noise wakes him from his slumber. He quickly moves to stab the hand reaching down around his neck.

          "Easy!" Ahaiyuta lifts his hands back. "I was simply curious." a closed fist lets drop the saint medallions. "You kept holding onto it with your free hand."

          "Those are representations of my siblings. Bad ones, but there aren't any better." Luci snatches it back as he sits up. Stupid traitorous uncooperative grace sending him to sleep in the middle of his enemies. She looks around the waters, the canoe is tied to a stone hook jutting up from the middle of the lake. Are we there?"

           "Almost. We have to cross to the Lake of the Dead."

          "How do we do that?" Luci warily follows their gaze to the waters beside the boat.

          "We drown, of course." Matsailema gives him a wicked grin and grabs Luci's right leg as Ahaiyuta grabs his left arm, and they lift him up, jumping all together into the waters. Luci swipes and kicks at them, only succeeding in losing his left shoe as they drag him further and further down beneath the surface. His lungs burn with lack of air for much longer than should be possible until the twins finally let go and break away.

           The swirling waters still into a dark mud cloud, the silt of the bottom disturbed by the struggle and he can't quite tell which way is up. There's no more air to escape his lungs as every part of him is filled with water. Something catches the back of his shirt and he finds himself pulled, possibly further down. He struggles against it, unable to turn and strike it but just slices free of the shirt. When the creature grabs his jeans, he frees himself of those and well and goes to face his attacker. Arms grab under his shoulders and he's pulled again through the murky waters.

           The air hits his face as he's half tossed onto the shore. His body violently expells the water from his lungs and stomach. His first gasp of air again is the sweetest thing he's ever felt. The dirt underneath his fingers the most pleasant thing in the world.

           "And here I thought that was as pale as you got." Ahaiyuta comments as Luci turns onto his back. He looks down to see the tan lines on his chest. Of course. And of course the grace couldn't just send the water else where, it had to make him vomit up his entire resperatory and digestive systems. Stupid uncooperative unhelpful little brat.

           "It usually takes longer for me to get a girl to disrobe." A doglike being laughs, dropping the coyote fetish from his pockets between hid breasts. He bats the creatures head away.

           "Touch me again and I'll wear your hide as a wrap." He points the angel blade, still held tightly in his hands, at the lovely creature, grabbing the carving with his free hand.

           "I like her. She's feisty." The dog... no coyote sits down by the lakeside. "But still, you brought a mortal here? And an outsider?"

           "We had to. Where's grandmother?" Ahaiyuta shrugs and looks around at the gathering kachina. "Is she still at home?"

          "No. She went out breifly. But you can't leave the poor girl like that." An odd shaped bird fluffs at the twins. "Come with me, melika.  I'll get you some proper clothing before you catch a chill." the twins just dismiss them both with imperious waves and head over to a large tree where they begin to climb and try to pull each other off in a race to the top.  Matsailema's arm seems find now. Luci looks back to the lake and can see a reflection of the canoe out in the middle and the sun, though there is no sun in this sky. All light seems to shine from the lake itself.

           Luci follows the bird to a large building of several homes carved into one large cliffside, with ladders and open windows and doorways, all of varying sizes. The second largest opening leads to a lovely cozy looking room with out a fire lit. It looks almost unlived in. The bird pulls a plain leather dress out of a basket and brings it over to him.

          "Dress here and we'll bring you something to eat." The bird takes off from the doorway. It's a simple undecorated tunic that hangs from one shoulder. What it lacks in beauty it makes up for in comfort. The leather is very well word and as soft as anything he's ever felt. Of course, his farmers tan is still very much evident.

          "I don't suppose you'd do anything about that." Luci comments touching the place where his brother's grace is pressed against his breastbone. It doesn't, as it's purely a matter of vanity. A shiny silver moon on the wall reflects his image back to himself. His hair is a mess, his face distressingly without makeup and not even close to attractive enough to suit him. there's some dirt and twigs stuck in his hair from where he lay on the lake side. He brushes them out as best he can with his fingers, trying to make his hair look decent at least. It's very slow going given how tangled it's gotten.

         "...not much to look at, but I figure you could giver her a proper a'shiwii body before the wedding." He hears from outside. What on earth are they talking about? He turns to see an wizened old native woman being led up the walkway to the door.

         "You're an idiot, Haiyu." Matsailema snaps at his brother. "She despises us."

         "Nonsense, you heard her singing love songs to the morning star. She's just shy, that' s all." What the helll?

         "Boys," The old woman sounds irritated. "Stop speaking nonsense." Luci rubs the bridge of her nose, hand on her hip. Of course they would misunderstand his prayers those arrogant little snots. That explains why they didn't ask him about them. "You said you had news about he archangel and his grace."

         "Yes." Ahaiyuta motions to his brother who pulls forwards an old rocking chair near the fireplace. "Helel, this is our Hotda. Hotda, this is Helel, the angel who adores me."

         "Your english is faulty. The word you're looking for is abhor." Luci replies cooly. Matsailema snickers.

         "You were right. She's not much to look at." The old woman looks him over than freezes breifly, squinting at his chest as if looking right through him.

         "There's been a misunderstanding, hodta." Ahaiyuta kneels down before her. "Sebuloutche... I mean, Raphael never betrayed Meli as you were told.  He was hunting the bringer of plagues and it was their companions who turned on them. The Guardian Beasts all know it. You'd think one of them would have brought it to us when it happened. Maybe they didn't learn in time." Matsailema looks breifly uncomfortable.

          "Meli. Wasn't that the deformed child you tormented until it fled into the wilderness?" Their grandmother asks.

          "What? No. It couldn't be." Ahaiyuta scoffs.

          "Yes." Matsailema says quietly. "But you sent us after an innocent being and we must return him to his sister."

          "You remember, the one who beat Mat." Ahaiyuta grins at his brother. "Twice now."

           "And you as well." Matsailema retorts.

         "His sister." The old woman's eyes flash in a way Luci finds suspect. "I see." Her smile makes him get a better grip on his blade. "Oh, boys, you have done well." She pats their cheeks and gives them each a kiss.

         "And we intend to do better. Tell us, hodta, who deceived you, and where is her brother now?" Ahaiyuta takes his grandmother's hand, "We will not permit you to be made a fool of."

          "Oh, my boys." she shakes her head, "I'm not the one who's been decieved." Snakes slither from her skirt, filling the room as she takes the obsidian knife from Matsailema's belt, slicing him from chest to groin before stabbing Ahaiyuta in the throat as he wrestles with the snakes.

           The old woman's head splits into two snakes spurting forth from a severed neck and her withered body seems to fill the room. Luci slices at snake after snake, backing into the darkening corner, but there are too many. He's overwhelmed, constricted and bitten over and over again until all his strength goes just to keeping the blade in his hands. He doesn't succeed and it's born away on the scales.

          The healing is only enough to keep him concious as the woman and her snakes rip through space to a dark cave. One of the snakes grabs the blade from the swells and slithers close enough to grab. When he gets his fingers around the hilt again, the snake lets go to try and bite his hand and wrist with the others but he won't let go and slowly draws his arms together to get a two handed grip. Suddenly the snakes plunge him down into a deep dark pit, smashing him against the floor, but he still holds the blade, slicing them until they retreat.

           "Wait here, feisty one." The woman mocks and when the snakes finish their retreat, a large covering is moved over the top, blocking what little light there is.

           "No!" Luci steps back to find only a curved jagged wall, all around him just stone and darkness. "NO!" He scrabbles a the wall, tearing off a fingernail or two before he's over taken by convulsions and collapses on the floor.


	41. Nothing to fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci being a badass.  
> Despite the torture Raphael has not lost his attitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I reach 666 hits I'm celebrating. I'd take a screen shot but I don't know how.

       What draws Lucifer's immediate attention upon waking at the bottom of the pit is that above him is a small pinprick of light. Whatever's blocking the top isn't completely closed. There's a crack. If there's a crack, he can wedge it open with the blade underneath him. Maybe. He's not trapped. He's not. He can get out. He's not trapped. It's not the cage. He can get out.  
       The walls around him aren't as hard as they could be either. There aren't any good grips and it's tilted inwards but not as too great an angle. His blade easily digs into the rock, creating handholds, foot holds, one by one so he can climb up the sides. They narrow so that when he reaches the top, all he has to do is stretch out his leg and it hits the other side, he can't even quite straighten it. So somehow, without falling, he turns and presses his back against the wall, his head underneath the light and shimmies his way up to the top.  
       The crack is small and he can only just get the tip of the blade, the handle pointed away from him. He pulls on it with all his might and the stone budges an inch. He fits the blade further in until it passes through and he can move it far enough to create room for his hands, to grab and push it until it feels like the muscles in his arms are going to just burst. Six inches. A breif rest and he manages a few inches more.  
       It's a tight squeeze but once his head is through, he can get the rest out fairly easy. Luci just lays on the cavern floor for a moment as the grace repairs whatever otherwise devastating muscular damage he did to his body through those acrobatics and assess his surroundings. It;s a red sandstone cave with a few torches shining around the length of the cavern. There are piles and piles of bones, all old, some almost fossils. there's gold jewelry and crowns littered among them. Any flesh and clothing has long since rotted away. on the other side is a large boulder carved into a stairwell.  
       Luci slowly creeps up the stairs, blade in one hand, a stolen torch in the other. There's only the sound of air moving throughout the structures. when he reaches the first bend he's greeted by an ornately carved room with a blocky picture of some sort of god he's not familiar enough with to give a shit about. There are two thrones. Footsteps echo from one of the hallways and he douses his torch.  
       "Don't give me your excuses, you crawling worm. We had a deal." a cold, oddly accented voice reaches his ears.  
       "You had a deal with Bertram Hodges," the faintest whiff of sulfer reveals a demon. "He's dead. Lucifer's ambassador slaughtered him. She stole the grace and half the angel blades you paid us. Not to mention she released all the damned souls from their confinements. Hell is in chaos, we've lost half our souls and a third of our demons. If you want anything more from us you'll have to provide more blades and more souls." Luci peers out to see a short native man in an ornate loincloth grab a lanky demon in a good suit by the throat.  
        "Are you telling me the deal is now void?"  
        "Well, we can't take over heaven with what we have. And quite frankly half the demons are backing out as it is thanks to news of Lucifer's return. No one wants to go after heaven without his specific approval or utter removal."  
         "I can give you Lucifer." The man lets go and goes to sit on the nearest throne. "Once I've extracted what I need from him." The demon fixing his tie, pauses.  
         "You... you 'have' Lucifer?" he sounds almost frightened a wary as he should.  
         "Hodges was right, that girl wasn't Lucifer's ambassador. She was Lucifer. Your king has been revived but in a sorely diminished, young, female form. His siblings were trying to rehabilitate him if you can believe the naivety. And what they've done instead is provide a lovely practically helpless prize to be claimed by the future king of hell. If you're up to the task."  
        "That was... but she had a soul! it was shining so bright you couldn't mistake it for anything else. She was...."  
        "She gained the assistance of a ghost. They made him powerless, not stupid." The native man snorts and wearily rests his head on his hand. "Intelligence can be the deadliest weapon of all. So how about we make a new deal? The rest of Raphael's grace and the infant as previously requested and not only will I not demand back the remaining blades forfeited by your lack of delivery, but I will give you Lucifer, helpless human and very mortal to do with as you please."  
         "You'd... we still need more blades"  
         "Make the ones you have count. Once I have the infant we can negociate for weapons almost as good. Ah, Coatlicue, have you retreived the dagger from the twins?" The snake headed woman walks into the room, morphine into a lovely older woman with rich copper skin and salt and pepper hair before approaching the clearly repulsed demon.  
          "The fools broke it. But it'll still cut, not cleanly, but then you are trying to kill him." She takes the chipped blade out and hands it to the demon, hilt first. "This will kill the archangel Castiel as surely as it cut Raphael's grace from his body. But be careful, as you can see, it breaks fairy easy. Let it strike only flesh."  
          "And what do you want for this?" The demon who Luci still can't place asks warily.  
          "What you want. No more archangels. And consider it a sample. When I have the infant I can make as many of these as you're willing to purchase."  
          "Itsa..Itzlaca.. Izol.." The demon tries to say, stumbling over the tongue much to the man's annoyance.  
          "Itztlacoliuhqui, perhaps the translation is easier for your forked tongue. Plant Killing Frost. God of stone, coldness and justice."  
          "Right. PlantbKilling Frost. We have a deal."  
          Luci rolls his eyes and tries not to sigh, or even breath lest he be heard. Aztecs, of course. The obsidian blade should have given it away. These bastards have so many names, so many faces and roles. It's so nonsensical and confusing, no wonder Gabriel felt right at home here after leaving Scandinavia. They probably got her blood somehow during that time. He knew it, no good could come of slumming with the pagans, what was she thinking? But then she was always taken with lesser beings. Befreinding that upstart Castiel is proof enough of that. But at least he's an angel.  
          "Now get on it, you have at most a month to prepare, maybe less. Remember, kill the coyote and get rid of her husband before she can take back her grace, or not even I can protect you from their wrath."  
          "Of course."The demon sounds insulted at the assumption that he's the idiot he so clearly is. If he thinks for a moment he can even consider harming his baby sister without his life being doomed to untold torment, he's too stupid to exist. "I'm not Crowley, I have no attatchments to the Winchesters or their pet angels. They will all be disposed of without hesitation." And he's gone.  
          Luci resists the urge to scream. Is he really going to be placed in the position to have to save those creatures? He's depending on them to protect Gabriel but if they're all targeted like this.. And it's not as if he can inform them of this development. His reputation is just growing more and more inconvenient. but at least it's not boring. The two gods converse quietly between themselves until the woman laughs.  
          "Please, in at most a day more she'll be so desperate to get out of that pit she'll be a docile as a lamb. The broken thing started screaming herself in to a fit as soon as she was down there. Why don't you go back to play with the other one and leave that little girl to me. I'll get her to tell me where that grace is, son."  
           "As you wish, mother." And one, probably Frosty leaves the hall. Luci peers out, making note of the exit he used. Unbelievable. These nothings are setting up a war between hell and his family? Where did they get the unmitigated gall to even consider it? It's a shame he's too weak to give them the slow painful deaths they deserve. And are those demon fools actually considering raiding heaven? Demons. In heaven. In his home? Who do they think they are? Much less doing so without his approval. They are getting far too big for their britches.  
            And she thinks he'll break in less than a day, does she? Well, it's always easier to tell people lies they want to believe. Luci creeps back down the boulder and hides underneath the curve on the other side in the shadows. It's no great trick to direct the sound to the proper corner, sound being waves after all, and he only has to cover is mouth with his hands to muffle it sufficiently before letting out a blood curdling scream.  
           It takes hours of mimicry, though he's far too familiar with the sound of his own genuine sobs for his own liking. His voice feels slightly strained even with the grace healing the damage, before there are sounds of footsteps approaching the stairs from above. He keeps up the forced sobs, screams, and pleas, not giving a 'renewed' effort until the goddess's footsetps could feasably be heard from in the pit.  
          "Please! Let me out! I'll do anything! Please!" he begs, fairly convincingly he thinks.  
          "Are you ready to cooperate little girl?" The godess calls down into the dark pit, either not noticing the stone is ajar or assuming her son had come down and  
fiddled with it.  
          "Yes! Yes, I'll do anything just let me out, Please let me out." Idiots.  
          "Will you give up that nasty blade, my little bird?" she coos. Why do they keep calling him a bird? Is it because of the whole angels and wings thing? Is it a euphamism? Why?  
          "Yes! Please! Take it just get me o-o-out..." A little sobbing at the end he feels is a particularly nice touch. There's the rustling of snakes and he looks out to see her sending her snakes down into the pit to fetch his blade. Before they can let her know he's not there, he bolts out and slices the snakes off of her neck. an odd shriek arises from the hole but she doesn't quite seem to be dead so he just keeps hacking. It's almost fun beheading every single panicky snake that emerges from her corpse and clothing.  
           So many things had gotten so easy, so boring. A snap of the fingers to disintegrate an enemy, an instant from one place to another. Only Michael ever gave him a consistant challenge, but now, now everything is harder and a struggle and a test of will, something to pit himself against. So many limits, but limits to work around, rules to break and bend, barriers to cross, problems to solve. He feels absolutely exhilerated even as he shoved the pieces of the goddesses body down into the pit. What's more he feels truly alive for the first time in a while.  
            Not since that night with Michael, or before that, when he just ran and ran. Adrenaline then? And the enjoyment of taking his body to it's very limits, and beyond. Luci gives a triumphant laugh and goes back up the stairs. Time to go save his baby brother and hopefull kill another pagan god in the process. Bless Raphael for those sigils on his ribs. He'd never be able to surprise them otherwise. If only Michael was here, she'd love this. Frosty would be running like he'd never run before.  
          "You know no one's coming for you." Luci hears the godp say coldly, his voice coming from just slightly farther down. "No one. No one's looking for you. They're all taking care of the Coyote, or hunting the Morning Star."  
           He can see a man chained between two posts, his skin is a dark burnished copper not quite brown, but covered in scars and half healed bruises and cuts, before the torture began it was obviously well built and strong, to last longer under prolongued physical stress, he assumes. But you can't always go by that. the ones who last would surprise you. Even if he can't see his brother's true form with these human eyes, the look on his face is pure Raphael, dripping with disdain as if the man with the knife currently slicing his chest isn't even worth his time.  
           And of course he refuses to scream even when the blade slides into the meat of his arm. Stubborn brat, it actually helps to make noise. He could at least curse the man out. Of all the things he's heard him say when the tiny Gabriel would crash into him in the garden, you'd think he'd at least have a few choice words for this bloated tulpa. At the very least it'd destract the thing enough for Luci to get closer.  
          A slow smile spreads across Raphael's face, as if he heard his brothers annoyed thoughts, which he probably has. They're certainly close enough for him to receive a clear prayer, even reduced this way. He speaks, to quietly to hear, but true to his other natural talent of pissing people off, whatever it was causes Plabt Killing Frost to loose his temper and start beating him around the head with the hilt of the blade. Luci slowly creeps forwards, his bare feet making no sound. Raphael laughs, his eyes tightly closed as soon as he catches sight of his brother so as not to risk giving him away.  
          "You think she wept because of you? She didn't care one bit about anything you did together. Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how wild she gets? You're nothing but an annoyance. Fear you? You irritated her, you arrogant prick. She played your pride like a finely tuned instrument." The next blow gets him in the teeth and must knock out a tooth because Raphael spits one right in the gods face. Luci is now behind him and drives his blade down into the back of Frosty's neck, tearing it down his back, hopefully severing his spine. Instead of falling, though, his body dissappears in a flash of light.  
            "So," Luci sighs leaning against the nearest post. "Aztecs, huh? I thought they were all wiped out millenia ago." He wrinkles his nose and looks over to his now mildly irritated brother. "They are now, I guess. kind of anti climatic though, don't you think? His mother died much more spectacularly. This one was kind of a disappointment."  
            "I don't suppose you're planning on setting me free at some point?" Raphael asks dryly.  
           "Maybe." Luci taps his lips with the tip of his blade. "Eventually. Raphael. We need to have a little talk. Brother to brother." He's just given a steady irritated glare. "Now, if you'll recall, I told you that one day, one day I would regain my grace and when that day came I was going to remember every single indignity and abuse of power you tormented me with while I was without. Do you remember that? My dear, darling little brother."He smiles sweetly at him. The slightly worried look that now comes into Raphael's eyes, shows that he does indeed remember that and also remembers several if not all of his worst offenses. "Admittedly, I have not regained my grace, but you have lost yours and the whole power dynamic is undeniably flipped, which really was the whole point." Luci shrugs.  
           "Helel?" Raphael sounds a bit nervous.  
          "Did you really think you could torment me endlessly within my own mind and I would be grateful for it?"Lucy gently traces the tip of his blade along the lines of his chest. "Brother, before I'm done with you, you'll wish the pagans had you all to themselves for the rest of eternity." There it is, that look of absolute terror in his eyes, that's what he was waiting for. Luci laughs and grabs hold of the upper right chain, shackling Raphael's wrist. "I'm just screwing with you. Hold on, I'll get you down."  
          "You... asshole." Raphael hisses. The blade cuts through the chains like butter. However the change of position when he's freed is too much and he collapses into Luci's arms. Hle's suprisingly heavy. The grace reaches out to him, warming and healing his every bruise, break and cut, thought it leaves the scars. It doesn't bring him back to consciousness though, so Luci just eases them both down to the floor and rests his baby brother's head in his lap.

          "Are you being hunted?" Is the first thing Raphael asks when he opens his eyes again.  
          "Of course I am." Luci pats his brother's forehead. "Don't ask stupid questions."  
          "Then we'll have to find a way back other than calling for Castiel." he slowly picks himself up, not very steady on his feet. The complete and utter lack of wings in any plain does take some getting used to, balance wise.  
          "You know, despite being an arrogant upstart douche, Frosty pdid give you one hell of a body." Lucy looks him over enviously. It's really not fair.  
          "You're not my type."  
          "Oh, screw you, Raph. That's not what I meant and you know it." Luci stretches and gets to his feet. "You don't happen to know where we are do you?"  
          "Huaynaputina." Raphael answers, which doesn't actually answer anything at all. "It's a volcano in southern peru. I... accidentally triggered it when they killed Meli." Ah, he does remember that event at yellowstone when he and Azrael had their final falling out. Raphel doesn't loose his temper much, but when he does the loss of control is absolutely spectacular, especially on earth. "The incan gods managed to keep it at bay for close to a hundred years, but with the spanish and the plagues they failed and it went off and decimated the pantheon as well as the villages around it."He looks away. "We're fairly far from kansas."  
          "I see. What are aztec gods doing in inca territory though?" Raphael just shrugs, "Well, on the plus side, I have the jadeite rock of your grace, or most of it. It's kept me alive and tormented the hell out of me, just like you." he puts a hand to his chest. "Unfortunately I can't seem to get it out."  
         "What do you mean you can't get it out? Where is it?" Raphael gives him an odd look. Luci just taps his lower chest right at the base of the breast bone.  
         "I had to hide it from detection and theft, but unfortunately every time I tried to make an incision to take it out, it would heal before I even finished cutting. Dean and Castiel have the rest of it, though. What the hell happened to it? Why is it infused with Jadeite? And how do you get it back out again? Scratch that last question. I wouldn't tell me that, so..." Luci waves it away, but is surprised by an almost crushing hug from his baby brother.  
         "You came for me." Raphael actually sounds close to tears, probably still getting used to all those irritating unmanageable emotions.  
         "Of course." Luci rubs his back. "Nobody messes with my family but me." Raphael gives a chuckle, but doesn't let go.  
         "I heard you singing to us. I even heard the guitar."  
         "Oh, good. I hoped you would. Do you think Michael did? Could you hear prayers in the abyss?"  
         "Yes. Not many but the most heart felt ones reach you. He'll have heard you."  
         "Now, how the hell do we get out of here?" Luci pushes away finally, feeling a bit embarrassed for some reason. "You know the area better than I do."  
         "If we can get to Arequipa they have an airport, but we don't have any money, passports or identification of any kind."  
         "That's no problem." Luci breaks away and heads back out to the hall. "We just need to find some criminals, and I can do that in a heartbeat, grace or no grace. Are you kidding me?"  
          "And money? Criminals usually require money, and we're not killing people or endangering them for an alternative payment."  
          "How do you feel about prostitution?" Luci teases, Raphael is not amused. "Well, there is all the gold jewelry we can carry down by the pit. C'mon, lets desecrate this bitch." he waves his brother along. Raphael, after weeks of torture is in no mood to object.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you worried there for a moment? Raphael certainly was. Luci is a such a little shit.
> 
> All caught up chapter wise. The next one is almost done and will be much lighter, which will be a nice break from the last action filled ones. Though there's still a good amount to go, demons to deal with, siblings to rescue, grace to extract and return, and deals to make. Not to mention Raphael dealing with a very unwanted and unfortunately begun human experience. I didn't expect it to be so long, but I'm having fun and hope you are, too. Thanks for reading.


	42. The Triumph of Hope Over Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci and Raphael return to the states and take refuge with an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've read some fan fics that do gender swapping vessels that seem to think that in the case of true love, it shouldn't matter what body they're in, or things like that. Or that the (usually temporary) change could alert the human to feelings that they 'really' had for the angel in the old vessel. But that really ignores a basic facet of human sexuality, pheromones and the unconscious physical chemistry you have with someone that it entirely physically determined and beyond your control whether you have it or not. It's why you can fall 'in love' with a person you meet on line and then meet up and have it fall flat. And it's why someone can be the sweetest dearest person in the world and you can adore them like you adore no other and yet still have no desire to have sex with them. (It's the truth behind the so called 'friend zone') It's also why you can want to have sex with someone you despise and would be happy never to speak to again.  
> Angels having different vessels isn't like a person getting cosmetic surgery or a makeover, it's an entirely new physical body with it's own unique set of chemicals and pheromones and physical properties that a person they interacted with before would have very different physical responses, too. So chemistry that was there before could conceivably not be, and chemistry that wasn't really, could be and it wouldn't be due to shallowness or superficiality if things changed between someone they once had a different relationship with.  
> So while Alex did kind of surprise me by forming a rather intense girl-crush on Raphael, of all angels, her irritation at Luci's suggestion it was sexual in nature was absolutely genuine. In Luci's defense though, it's hard to remember straight people exist in this fandom, and not just extremely closeted ones. And he doesn't exactly understand human variants on love all that well in the first place. Like most angels he confuses it for being just sexual attraction and dismisses it as such more often than not. Of course we humans often do that ourselves.  
> Just something I've ended up thinking about, probably way too much.

        "You have to understand." The tall pale woman says, not a little condescendingly. "He's from a different time." Alex just rolls her eyes and pours her lemonade.

        "Why?" She demands. "Why do I have to understand? Why am I the one who has to make allowances for him and his culture and his upbringing?"

        "Because that's just the way it is and has always been." The brunette shrugs, barely sounding as if she believes it herself. "Norse men, they have to be free."

        "Well, now he's even freer." Alex replies cooly. "Hel, I like you, I really do. But this is the twenty first century and if I want to kick my lover to the curb for infidelity, It's neither a strange, shocking, or unreasonable thing for me to do. And you and he both are just going to have to deal with that."

        "You can't expect several thousand years of behavior to just change in a few short years." Hel argues, putting her bottle down, "Rhys absolutely adores you, you know that. He loves you."

        "Not the way I need to be loved and I absolutely don't expect him to change. That's why I ended things." She takes the cup of ramen from the microwave as it dings and sits down at the island across from her once potential sister in law. "I was foolish for getting involved with him in the first place."

        "It was just a moment of weakness."

        "He was seeing her three years!" Alex exclaims slamming the ramen down in front of her. "We've been together than than two. Don't give me that 'moment of weakness' crap."

        "Right. Well, he wasn't really cheating on you with her then, he was cheating on her with you." This attempt at an excuse just gets Hel a cold glare. "Alright, alright. I tried. I think I hit all his points. Maybe he'll leave me alone about it now." Hel just puts up her hands.

        "I can't believe he sent you to talk some sense into me." Alex stabs the noodles with her fork.

        "He didn't. Our father did." Hel gives an exhasperated sigh. Alex just raises an eyebrow at this. "Rhys is currently moping and whimpering about Helheim, waiting for either you or Hlokk to take him back. Father's going stir crazy and like all happily married people is obsessed in fixing up her friends and loved ones. Me and Claire had to pretend to get back together just to make him happy. I swear, being pregnant's doing strange things to his brain. Or maybe it's the high blood pressure. I dunno." Hel sighs.

        "Pretend?"

        "Well," Hel grins. "At least that's how it started."

        "Oh, great, she'll never give up on me and Rhys now." Alex sighs. "As soon as she gives birth I'm telling her exactly what she can go do with her matchmaking. She'd better not have gotten the cherubim involved in this."

        "That only invokes physical attraction, not love. And he wants you two to live happily ever after and in love and give him litters of grandchildren. I'm so glad I'm a lesbian or he'd be after me for that."

        "You know, I don't think it's the pregnancy. I think Bree's just bored and this is all she can do while confined to bed rest. I mean, honestly, how could she possibly get any stranger?"

        "I'll drink to that." Hel lifts her lager. Alex smiles and lifts her glass. "To archangels in all their glorious insanity."

       "To archangels." Alex laughs and clinks the two together. "Oh what now." She sighs as her phone rings with the generic tones of a number not in her address book. She can't believe he's trying this again. "Listen, you philandering dog," Alex starts immediately upon answering. Hel grimaces and drinks the rest of her beer. "I told you once and I'll tell you again; you can go fuck yourself."

        "I'm going to go." Hel mouths and waves. Alex just nods and waves back as the demi goddess disappears.

        "Alex?" A confused yet deeply sexy male voice says her name in a very familiar way. "Alex Jones?"

        "Raphael?" She clutches her phone with both hands. They said he'd lost his old vessel. "Is that you?"

        "Yes, actually." He sounds surprised at her recognition.

        "Oh thank god you're alright. Are you alright?  Where are you? Are you hurt?"

        "I'm unharmed. Are you home? Can I come to your apartment?"

        "Yes. Of course."

        "Are you alone? Is Fenris there?"

        "No. No, I'm alone. Are you in trouble? Should I call Dean or Castiel?"

        "No. Please, don't contact anyone. We'll be there shortly."

        "We?" But the phone hangs up. We? Alex suddenly becomes aware that both she and her apartment are an absolute mess. She quickly grabs the dirty clothes and tosses them into her hamper. The tissues are swiped into the garbage can filling it completely. Did she really cry that much? Really? At least they weren't all just about Rhys. Though most started that way. Alex sniffs her shirt. Yeah, she needs a shower, so she unchains and unlocks the door and heads to the bathroom, grabbing a clean outfit on the way.

       Sure enough, after a few minutes there's a knock on the door.

       "It's unlocked!" She calls. "Just give me five minutes."

       "Of course." comes the reply. As she dries off she can hear him putting things away in the kitchen. He brought food. Even now, after god knows what happened to him, he brings food so she's not living off lemonade ramen and hot dogs.  "Have you been ill?" He asks as she comes out of the bathroom, tossing a paper towel into the wastebasket of tissues.

        "Um, no." She blushes looking up at him. What is it with archangels and ridiculously attractive vessels? But there are scars running all over his exposed arms and the exposed parts of his neck. It looks almost decorative, not like designs but like the veins running through marble.

        "Thank you for letting us come." He gives her a grateful nod and looks over at the couch. Lucifer is lying on it, fast asleep, an angel blade dropped on the floor just under her finger tips.

          "She... she rescued you?" She has said she was going to but Alex didn't exactly believe her.

          "Yes." He gives a small half smile and takes a blanket from the closet. "May I?"

          "Of course." she waves and watches him gently tuck it around the sleeping girl.

          "He'd been chewing coca leaves for three days straight, then drinking red bull to stay awake. I'm honestly surprised he didn't crash sooner."

          "Do you have your grace back?" She asks, immediately realizing what a dumb question it is. If he had he'd have just appeared. Or more likely gone straight to Bree.  "She won't return it?"

          "He can't. We've tried removing it, but he was right, the incision heals together almost as soon as the blade leaves it." Raphael looks incredibly weary.

          "You look like you could use a nap yourself." She goes to touch his arm, without thinking, but he jerks away almost reflexively before she can. "Sorry."

          "No, I..." He looks a bit embarrassed. "It's not... I just haven't had a very enjoyable human experience so far."

          "It's strange not seeing you in a suit." She comments, changing the subject as he's clearly not ready to talk about it further.

          "Helel's been stingy with the money." he scowls tugging on the short sleeve of the dusty t-shirt. "I apologize for our state, we've been getting back as fast as we could. If.. if I could use your shower..."

           "Of course." Alex grabs a few clean towels. "Um, I think Rhys left a few of his things here. You're welcome to change into those if you like. I think they'll fit. Are you hungry? You have to eat now, right?" Of course he has to eat, what a dumb question is that?  
           "Unfortunately. However I'm having difficulty retaining food. My body is unused to much beyond liquids and it's difficult not to over indulge when I give into my hunger." He says this casually but it kind of rips into her heart. Tortured and starved.

           "BRAT diet it is then."

            "Brat?"

            "Bananas, rice, applesauce, toast. they're bland and easy on your digestive system. Call me if you need anything. I have a few extra razors in the medicine cabinet if you need to shave." Not that his stubble isn't appealing but it seems a little untidy for him.

            Aside from the groceries they don't seem to have much of anything with them.  Lucifer is sleeping on her couch. It seems suprisingly surreal. On one hand, she really should let Bree and Castiel know about this but on the other hand, Raphael asked her not to. Of all the archangels he's always been the harshest, most unforgiving in regards to his older brother, so if he's trying to protect him it must mean something.

            But then again, it's Lucifer. and if Raphael's been tortured, he's more vulnerable to manipulation by his 'savior' than he ever has been. Ultimately though, it comes down to a matter of what she has more faith in. Lucifer and his deviousness or Raphael and his skeptical, cynical nature.  Of course it also depends on how much faith she has in his ability as a healer. Does she believe he had it in him to help heal whatever damaged his brother so deeply that he went so bad, or at least help start him well on his way.

           By all accounts, Lucifer has been behaving oddly and very out of character in many ways. But she's the devil, master of deceit. Trusting her is... just stupid. But she did save Raphael, the sibling she always had the least use for. She retrieved those angel blades from hell, and old vessel and what's more didn't use him at all for anything, just dropped him off to be cared for. Alex doesn't know what she should do. What's the right thing? The smart thing? This is Lucifer. But it's also Raphael.

            "It's okay." She feels Raphael's hand on her shoulder. "If you feel you need to call to them, I understand, but they'll want to send him back to the abyss and he doesn't... I have faith that he's trying, truly trying to change for the better. But I do know how foolishly optimistic that may seem."

            "Well, foolishly optimistic aren't words I'd ever use to describe you. Or that anyone else would for that matter. I don't trust her but I do trust you, so.." he reaches up to pat his hand. It tenses breifly under her touch then relaxes. "You do need to tell Bree that you're both alright, though. She's worried and you know it's not good for her."

             "Alright. I can do that at least." Raphael takes his hand back and walks over to where Lucifer's sleeping. The green and gold leisure suit that looked rather loud of Rhys actually seems to suit Raphael perfectly. Lucifer and Bree apparently both keep their phones in their bra, when they wear one, much to Raphael's annoyance. He could have just used Alex's but then Bree would have known they were there. "She still has the same phone number?"

             "Yes." Alex heads to the bedroom to tidy up and change the sheets.

             "Gabriel.." she hears him start and a soft conversation in enochian fills the background. The name Helel is spoken a few times. He almost sounds as if he's pleading with her at first, but when she comes out he's just listening, his face slightly falling as she speaks. Then without a word. He ends the call.

             "Is everything alright?" Alex asks.

             "I don't know. I asked about the pre-eclampsia and she didn't answer. Do you know if she's had any seizures or fainting spells?"

             "No, I don't. I haven't been told if she has. She's been more interested in interfering with my love life it seems, so she can't be too badly off." Alex smiles hopefully. Raphael just looks at the phone in his hands.

             "I have to get my grace back." his lips tighten. His eyes are so red from what must be sheer exhaustion though. How much has he slept lately?

             "Here.  Have a little something to eat and then go lie down. You look as if you haven't slept in a while yourself." Alex hands him a place of buttered toast and banana slices. "I made you some peppermint tea, too. I wasn't sure how much sugar you'd prefer so I didn't add any.

              "Thank you." he looks almost apprehensively at the food.

              "I'm here, you know. If you want to talk about anything. No matter what time or day."

              "I know, but I'm alright, thank you." he picks up a piece of toast and glares at it, as if resentful of it's purpose in life, or even it's very existence. "Are you alright?" Raphael asks before committing to his first bite, obviously wanting some sort of distraction. Well, she can talk. She always ends up talking way too much with him anyways.

              "I'm doing alright. Passed all my classes, most with flying colors. I do peer counseling and volunteer at a suicide hotline on the weekends. I actually found a few people cursed, and haunted on that one so I'll probably keep that up. I broke up with Rhys and have a part time job on mondays and fridays. The scholarships and grants cover the rent and college fees and things, but everything else... without Bree eating my snacks and sneaking me money it's a bit tight. But waitressing pays fairly well even though I stick to day shifts."

              "That explains your greeting earlier." Raphael comments on her fruitless attempt to just sneak that bit of unavoidable information in with the rest of her life. She swears, though, that she's never seen anyone but a toddler eat so slowly and reluctantly.  And definitely not while looking so desperately hungry.

              "Sorry about that. When I stopped answering his calls, he started calling from different numbers. He stopped by uninvited a few times. Threw a fit when he found Nick here." Alex shakes her head.

              "Nick?"

              "Later." she waves the question away. Lucifer must not have mentioned that to him.

              "Alright. I suppose that explains all the aconite." he nods to the dried wolfsbane scattered about the apartment in various vases.

              "I had to smack him across the nose with it and threaten to call animal control before he finally left me alone. Did you know that wolves are one of the few species that practice life long monogamy? Apparently he's not that much of a wolf, the lying bastard." Alex scowls. "If that wasn't bad enough, he made me the 'other woman'."

              "I'm sorry..."

              "I don't care what the culture norms were thousands of years ago, he obviously knew I wouldn't be okay with it or he wouldn't have lied about being single. He's just a stupid dog." she buries her head in her arms, really not wanting to cry about something so dumb in front of a man who was tortured for weeks. Though she is aware that's something he doesn't want to think about right now, and while she's sure her unavoidable emotional torrent is distracting, it doesn't make it feel any less petty. Besides she doesn't exactly want to think about her pain, either."How's your stomach holding up?"

              "It's doing alright." he holds the tea, almost reluctant to drink it, and notices her looking at him. "It' smells wonderful but that doesn't always translate to tasting good." Raphael sounds as if he learned that the hard way. Alex just smiles and stirs in two spoonfuls of sugar.

              "That's how I always have it." Watching him try it for the first time is enthralling.

              What must it be like being an angel not having a real sense of taste, or touch. Michael tried to explain that almost everything was light and sound and temperature and vibration, but apparently it's as impossible to explain as human taste and touch is to angels. Oddly enough that's why feelings translate so poorly, because they're so inextricably bound in those two sensations. The emotions are the same but expression varies so greatly, it sometimes doesn't seem that way.

                It also explains why angels like Bree can get so enthralled with sensuality and hedonism, even just possessing a vessel with it's muted sensations. Though, honestly, Raphael looks as if he could just happily sit sipping his cup of peppermint tea for hours and do nothing else. Or is he starting to fall asleep? Yep,

                "Easy there." She takes the mug from him before he drops it as he starts to nod. He blinks and straightens up, looking a bit confused for a second in such a normal human way it's adorable. "C'mon, go lie down and get some sleep."

                "I can't take your bed." he protests when she leads him to the bedroom by the sleeve.

                "It's noon. You'll be done with it by the time I need it.  Besides Lucifer's on the couch. I could kick her off it but I don't think that would end well for me regardless of her quest for redemption." This elicits a tired smile of agreement from Raphael.

                 "I imagine not. thank you, Alex."

                 "Any time."

 

                Luci lifts his head from the courderoy sofa, it's softer than the ground, but that's all that can be said for it. He's fairly sure the pattern of the fabric is imprinted on his face. As he's neither dead nor imprisoned it seems Alex's feelings for Raphael have won out over her own good sense as he expected it would. He wishes he'd seen her face when she saw the body Raph has now.

                 Actually given the sounds from the bedroom, they're probably enjoying it right now. Alright, time to get him back for that day at the firestation. Luci quickly dumps some ice into the pitcher in the sink and fills it with water. He creeps close, hugging the corner as they didn't even bother to close the door, the randy little scamps. But when he rounds it ready to douse the love birds, he's taken a bit by surprise.

                 Not only are they not entwined in bed together, they're fully clothed and Raphael is curled on his side, trembling and crying out in his sleep. Alex is seated in the computer chair beside him, letting him hold onto her arm. She's trying to soothe his nightmares by rubbing his back, and gently shushing him but there's little affect as he seems to be trapped deeply inside them.

                 "Shoo," He puts the pitcher down on the dresser and waves Alex away. She goes to move but he won't let go of her hand, so Luci just climbs onto the other side of the bed. "It's alright, Raphael. I'm here." he says in his gentlest voice. But it doesn't seem to help at all. Well, of course not, why would it? They've only just started getting along. His obviously isn't the voice Raphael needs to hear. Luci just rolls his eyes and alters his voice slightly lowering it, with a difference cadence. "Raphael. I am here. You're safe, little brother, I'm here." And he gently puts a hand on his shoulder, at the crook of his neck, giving it a light squeeze in that way Michael does.

                   "Michael.." Raphael pleas almost a whisper.

                   "I'm here, little brother. I'm here." This finally quiets him, and he stops shaking. Alex is giving him an odd look that makes him feel as uncomfortable as he does annoyed. He just looks down to where her free hand is gently stroking the back of the hand Raphael's gripping hers so tightly with, both their hands clasped together, and he gives her a smirk. She just blushes and looks away. No, she doesn't have a crush, not at all. "Behave yourself now." he mockingly scolds her, grabbing a towel. Alex just gives him a withering look. "I mean it now." He stops at the doorway , pointing two fingers at his own eyes and then at her. Her expression does not waver.

             Luci just laughs and heads to the bathroom. Well, Raphael should probably get a few notches in his belt first. The girl definitely is a match for him attitude wise. It's almost kind of cute. Hopefully his nephew will be able to patch things up with her before too long though. He'd hate for Raphael to get attatched to her like he was to that Meli girl. He probably would, too.

              Unbelieveable. Luci picks up the shampoo. She has the entire quince edition bath and body set from Lucy's Garden. Probably a gift from Raphael, that little shit. Ah well. It does smell nice. If only they could make a line of scents based off some of the things he smelled and tasted on the way to Arequipa.

               Oh that chinimaya. he wishes he'd never tasted it, it was so good. The pepino dulce and the tuna and capulin. If Raphael doens't get more of those at least once a month once he gets his grace back, they are going to have words. The fruit and the scents were the best part about that journey. Though poor Raphael couldn't stomach anything. Even the sashimi he managed to prepare with the lemon and freshly caught fish.

               They got a little lost the second day, but it was a fairly fun, if exausting journey. Of course they'd have died several times over if not for both Raphael's knowledge of the flora and his grace healing them. Though with all the dangers it also meant that they pretty much had to hold hands the entire time in case something sudden happened like when Raph got bit by that Brazillian Wandering Spider. And all those scorpions and snakes. Why did all the snakes seem to want to come after Luci now that he's human? Walking barefoot through the peruvian jungle with next to nothing on is really not for the faint of heart.

                 Bathrooms must be one of the greatest human inventions ever created. The showers with hot water especially. In all honesty if told that he could save all of the earth's flora and fauna right now but at the expense of never being able to take a hot shower again, he would tell nature to go fuck itself. Repeatedly. Human environmental policity is starting to seem a lot more reasonable to him. Ostensiably wrong, ignorant, selfish, irresponsible, and short sight, but infinatley more understandable.

                  There's a banging on the bathroom door.

                 "You are not the only one in the building who needs hot water today, Helel, or the use of the bathroom." Raphael shouts. Aw, someone woke cranky.

                 "Fine." he turns off the water and grabs the towel before unlocking and exiting through the bathroom door. "All yours, sunshine." he towels off his hair. Alex quickly turns away as he goes into the kitchen. She's shy apparently.

                  "And put some damn clothes on." He just ignores his little brother and grabs a pen from the fruit bowl.

                  "So, Alex, where the Hell is Nick?" he demands

                  "With Jody, Sherriff Mills. She insisted that I not have a possibly deranged servant of the devil sleeping on my couch for some reason." The snarky mortal thing replies. "I council him on monday and fridays. He's doing as well as can be expected. intensely traumatised."

                   "Hmm." there's more loud banging, this time from the front door. Alex frown and walks over to check the peep hole. "Someone you know?"  Alex shakes her head.  
                  "Hey!" The banging resumes. "Tispe, apre doren! I have words for you, ludder! Pise! Apre doren, kujon! Alex!"

                  "Are you sure?" Luci grins. This will be interesting. Alex just sighs and opens the door.

                  "You must be Hlokk" She steels herself.

                  "Must I? Yes. I am Hlokk, you tos!" The beautiful straw blonde shoves Alex back into the apartment. "Ludder! Pise! Tispe!" She shoves her with each word. "You dare lay with, try to steal my Ulfr? You... you.. dodeling soppel!"  Luci quickly goes to intercept Raphael before he can interject himself between Alex and the angry Valkyrie.

                 "No, no. They're bonding." he shoves his brother back into the bathroom and holds the door closed.

                 "And already more lovers, you faithless pise?"

                 "I didn't know Rhys was involved with you. And when I found out I ended it." Alex moves a chair between them as if that would do any good. "I'm not taking him back no matter how much he begs, so there's nothing..."

                "You made Fenrisulfr BEG?" the blonde launches herself at the human girl much to Luci's amusement.

                "Helel, let me out!" Raphael bangs on the door.

                "Not a chance this is just getting good." Luci leans back to better watch the two rolling around on the floor. "Why do mortals and pagans always blame the person their lover cheated on them with? I mean, I know they do, and always have, it's incredibly consistant, but it's not like people don't lie about their relationship status. In every infidelity, there's always one person who definitely knew that the cheater was cheating and that's the unfaithful one."

                 "Let go of this handle, Helel. I MEAN IT!"

                  "Eh, fine. Have fun. I'll heal you both afterwards." Luci lets go, almost sending Raphael crashing back into the sink the boy's pulling so hard on the door. "I'm going to the store." he pulls on the only dress and clean item Alex seems to have and grabs his phone from the island. Raphael pulls the enrage Valkyrie off Alex only to get knocked to the floor. He's obviously out of practice with wingless combat himself. Luci just steps over them, walking out the door. Since the pagan girl didn't just smite them, she clearly just wants to blow off some steam. Alex was doing alright, too. She must have gotten some training from Gabriel at some point. By the time he gets back hopefully this nonsense will be over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Norweigian translation (pretty much what you'd expect Hlokk to be calling Alex given the situation)
> 
> tos- whore  
> apre doren- open the door  
> ludder- slut  
> tispe- whore/bitch  
> kujon- coward  
> pise- cunt  
> dodeling- mortal  
> soppel- trash


	43. A Deal with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci, in need of assistance, makes a deal

            "Remember girl, all norse men are philandering bastards. You need a hell of a lot of power to even hope to keep one in line." Hlokk gives the bloody and disheveled Alex a kiss on the cheek as she holds the door open for her. Alex refrains from commenting that apparently Hlokk didn't have enough power herself and just accepts the comment in the spirit it was given "I'll see you around, Raphael." The norse woman gives the angel a smile that is reassuringly not returned.

            "Alright, you take care." Alex gives a tight lipped smile and closes the door as the valkyrie walks down the hallway with a very satisfied bounce. She locks and chains it with a relish, not that it would really keep anything determined out. Like that tramp had any right to call her a tos. "I am really, really starting to hate the aesir and take back everything I said about Bree's pranks." She bangs her for head against the door. Behind her she can hear the sounds of Raphael picking up some broken thing.

            Alex turns around to survey the damage. The coffee table is shattered, as she well knows, having been slammed into it back first. So are the living room lamp and half her dishes, the good ones that were a housewarming gift from Jody. Those were thrown and smashed against Raphael's head in a surprising move by Hlokk who clearly preferred grappling with him directly, the tispe. He still seems slightly dazed. Hopefully he doesn't have a concussion. Oh, and the television, which Raphael is trying to put back upright. Of course the television broke. It was the only thing that she kept from Rhys only because it was a replacement for the one he accidently broke while goofing off.  Not that the one he replaced was nearly that good, but still. She half suspects he broke it on purpose so she'd let him buy one.

           "You don't have to pick up." She sighs and walks over to pick up a book from amidst the shards. "Ow..." A sharp pain stabs her lower back as she bends down  Sharper than all the other numerous aches and pains she's gained from the fight. When she reaches back, she feels something sharp stuck  just above her hip that slices her finger. Probably some glass from that damn coffee table.

           "Don't remove it." Raphael catches her hand as she goes to do just that, and lifts her up so she doesn't move her back too much, carrying her to the bedroom. "Just lay flat on your stomach."he helps her remove her shirt and lie down on the bed before he goes back out. Probably to the bathroom where she has a fully stocked emergency medical kit in case Claire or another hunter stops by and needs attention.

           One of the classes taught at the winchester's special hunter school is actually emergency medical care taught by an old hunter and a medic who got field experience in vietnam.

           "Where's Lucifer?" Alex asks as she notices a decided lack of unhelpful mockery.

           "I don't know. He left during the fight. He said he was going to the store." He sounds as annoyed by this as she feels. She can't believe Lucifer just left his brother to fight a valkyrie on his own, well, with Alex but she's not prideful enough to think either Lucifer or Hlokk really thought she counted too much. Granted Raphael could handle himself really well, but still. "I'll call her when I'm done tending your wounds." Alex doesn't comment. Lucifer is likely long gone. She probably had no intention of giving the grace back even if they did try and fail to remove it before. They just bought groceries. What could she be going to the store for? Milk? Cigarrettes? Tampons? Well, maybe that last one.

            "Alex?" She can hear Jody knocking at her door. Someone called the police? Of course they did. What happened to all the people who ignore the sounds of horrific violence and just turn up their tv and why don't they occupy this building? "Is everything alright?"

            "I'm here. It's okay." She shouts back. "Everything's fine, now. It's good. I'm good. Just... in the bathroom." But that won't be good enough,she knows.

            "Just playing a horror movie too loud, huh?" Code for asking if there's something supernatural going on.

            "No." Alex winces. "Hold on." She starts to get up, but it hurts even more now that she stopped moving for a bit.

            "Don't move." Raphael says firmly and goes to unchain the door in her stead.

            "Alright, who are you? Alex? Who is this?" She hears Jody demand. The scars probably do make him look kind of intimidating. And given the state of the apartment....Oh, please don't let her have her gun drawn.

            "It's Raphael, it's fine." She sighs, "Please don't shoot him. He's kind of human at the moment."

            "Unless you're arresting me, I need to go tend her wounds." Oh, he sounds pissed, but Jody beats him to the bedroom.

           "What happened? I"m taking you to the hospital." Alex sees her finally put her gun away. Well that's wonderful, as if Raphael doesn't have enough issues with the police.

           "It's nothing. I'm fine. Just a little glass and Rhys's girlfriend, the valkyrie came by for a little girl to girl chat, that's all." Alex hopes she believes it, but seeing as she can't exactly see her own back, she can't be sure her words are as reassuring as she hopes. "Everything's fine with that now."

           "It's not too, serious." Raphael inform her. "But I would like to remove the glass, if that's alright with you, sherriff."

           "Of course." She could tell him that Jody is not a huge fan of attitude but it's hardly uncalled for.

          "One of his siblings will be stopping by later." Alex says quickly. "She'll fix me up the rest of the way then." Jody looks over to Raphael and then back to Alex.

          "Alright, but I'm staying and as soon as it's done and his sister comes back, we are moving you back home." Jody sits down int he computer chair by the bed and crosses her arms. "No arguments, Alex." And in that she's very much mistaken.

 

          Luci looks at the police car in front of the apartment building. Someone called the police? Hopefully Raphael didn't end up getting arrested. He's kind of a smart ass and the town is a bit homogenous. Humans as a group tend to be a little hostile towards those different from what they're familiar with, even in the best of situation. And oddly enough they seem to equate skin tone to virtue, which is just stupid. Well, Raphael probably would have put up a fuss about him going off to do the summoning anyways. What was that Alex girl's number?

           "Alex Jone's phone, Sherrif Mills here."

           "Jody, don't answer my phone like that." he hears in the background. "Give... hello?"

           "Call me when the sherriff's gone. "He starts to hang up but stops. "Are you two alright?"

           "We're fine." Alex responds drly. "We only had a fight with a valkyrie who's now smitten with your brother thanks to his battle prowess even while concussed."

          "Don't be absurd." Luci hears Raphael comment testily in the background.

          "Let me talk to him."

          "I'm busy." Raphael responds, still slightly in the distance.

          "Fine, just listen, then. I was going to stop into heal you two first but with police there, I don't think so. I'm making arrangements for a special knife that might help get this damn rock out of me. If I don't contact you in two hours, go to locker 6 at the art museum. I'm leaving the key in Alex's mailbox.

          "What are you doing? I'll come help."

          "No, you stay there and stay safe. Just make sure you go straight to Gabriel once you get into the locker, alright? I'll probably see you soon, but I'm not taking any chances."

          "Helel..."

           "Later, Raph." Luci hangs up and turns of the phone. Alright, time to find an abandoned house or cheap motel or something.

 

          Luci flips through the pages at the magazine. This is geared to girls? Why should girls care how to please their man? Men will pretty much tell you what thye want. They need to know how to get a guy to care about pleasing them. Have a man. Get a man. Understand a man. Loose weight. Right because apparently starvation is attractive now.

           "Who in the bloody hell are you?" Luci looks up, blowing a large pink bubble as the former king of hell himself finally decides to answer his damn summons.

           "You know," he pops the bubble, "Tardiness is very unprofessional." Luci closes the magazine, crossing his arms underneath him. "How do you expect anyone to take you seriously if you can't manage to respond in a timely fashion. No wonder Bertram Hodges was a lead contender."Luci gives a disgusted sigh and shakes his head.

          Crowley narrows his eyes at the mouthy teenage girl in front of him, lifting his head up slightly in assessment. His eyes soon widen in surprise.

          "Lucifer. I'd heard you were back. But I didn't believe it. Not really. Who would be stupid enough to ressurrect you?" He can clearly see that Luci is a bit diminished or he wouldn't be so insolent.

           "People do strange things for love." he shrugs. "Have a seat." Luci motions, to the cheap motel chair near the demon. "And pleace, call me Luci." the wary look on Crowley's face as he sits down, shows at least a little intelligence. He does in face look up to the ceiling to check for the large demon trap Luci had placed there earlier.

            "That's an interesting vessel. She looks a bit familiar." Crowley comments casually.

            "I don't doubt it. So, Crowley, my old comrade in arms, how has life been treating you?" Luci rests his head on his hand, putting on a mildly interested expression. He wants to know, but he doesn't exactly care. Hopefully he can successfully convey that.

            "Not well," The captive gives an irritated smile. "There's nothing like being chained and kenneled like a dog and being freed to clean the floor with your tongue to lose the respect of your former subjects."

            "My bad," Luci gives a guilty smiles, "But in my defense, there's no possible way I could have anticipated ever needing you back on the throne. And you were claiming a title that was rightfully mine. I couldn't just let that go, now could I? I mean, Hell is my domain." This just gets him a suspicious, yet intrigued look.

            "You... want to put me... back on the throne?" Crowley clarifies, not yet letting his ambition overwhelm his good sense. "Why?"

            "I kind of have better things to do now, and you are, unfortunately the best of a bad bunch. For instance you're not the least inclined to do stupid things like attempt to wage war on heaven and murder my siblings. It was an insight I didn't properly appreciate back in the day. But I've gotten a little perspective now and can use forward thinkers like yourself, who are better aligned with my new world view."

             "I see." Crowley examines him for several minutes, either trying to think of what to say or how to say it. Of all the appeals, he probably didn't expect the fact that he opposed him during the apocalypse to be the one used. It's true, but that seldom really matters. "You'll pardon my mentioning it, your majesty, but you seem to be human at the moment."

             "Oh?"

             "A young mortal graceless human girl, to be precise."

             "And your point being?"

             "It's a new look for you is all." Crowley shrugs, not pressing the point further at the moment.  He really is much smarter than Luci gave him credit for with a talent for self preservation that he must have gotten from his wonderfully entertaining and resilient mother.

              "My current condition is a gift from my siblings." Luci informs him flatly.

              "And you don't want them dead?" A very valid question, but impossible to explain.

              "It's complicated." Luci pushes himself up and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "You know how it is with family,you can somehow forgive them things you'd murder anyone else for, and even when you do want to kill them it doesn't mean anyone else is allowed to." Crowley gives a thoughtful nod that indicates he does indeed understand that. "How is your mother by the way?"

              "Alive. I'm fairly sure. Chasing the next big power. Maybe still trying to form that mega coven. I don't know. We haven't exactly kept in touch after my fall from power."

              "Too bad." Luci adjusts his bra strap and breasts. Aside from his hair and eyes, they are his best feature. "She was interesting. Probably wouldn't still be quite so infatuated with me, though, and so decidedly less helpful."

              "True, she prefers to be the most powerful woman around, and does that whole 'man is the head, woman is the neck' thing. A bit old fashioned in that regard. So what is it you're offering and what exactly do you want?"

               "What I want are three things. One human soul, the obsidian blade that was given to who ever took Hodge's place by Itztlacoliouqui, preferrably before he kills Castiel with it but I'm not too particular on that point, and lastly your assistance in thwarting all the idiots currently planning on attacking my family and old home as needed."

              "Just one soul? Do you have any particular soul in mind then?" And he is asking exactly the right questions, too.

              "Meli, an a'shiwii healer, she was burned to death in holy oil in peru in the early 1500's. She was supposed to go to heaven as she was my little brother's vessel, but somehow didn't. Though that may be difficult so until you find her I'll take any random soul you have lying around as a loaner." Luci takes out his phone to text Raphael. 'Everything going well, meeting running long, will check back again in two more hours.'

              "That's quite a tall order." Crowley claps his hands together. "And given that you, Lucifer, are coming to me, Crowley, to bargain for my help, I have to be curious as to what you could possibly have to offer me that would be worth any of it. After all if it were otherwise, you wouldn't need me."

              "Fair enough. And it's true, my resources are currently limited. I only have one thing I really can give you." Luci sighs regretfully. "Myself."

              "Yourself." Crowley repeats. "I'm sure you're an excellent lover, but nobody's that good."

              "That's what you think, but no, I meant I'd give you myself as a human would give you their soul. I would belong to you until forcibly removed by an outside force. I would be your possession, your trophy if you will. to do with as you please. As you pointed out, I have tormented you incredibly,and am at the moment a young mortal, graceless girl."

              "And you'd what just submit to me completely."

              "Don't be absurd, of course I wouldn't. I can't even pretend to have it in me to do that, even if I am handing myself over in this weakened practically helpless state. But what would the fun with that be anyway? You can't break someone who's already broken."

              "So, you'd basically pit your capacity to resist against my capacity for vengeance and torture and hope to just endure until you're rescued, in exchange for my assistance. You are aware that I can be incredibly creative in my torture, and may actually just choose to do something like kill you immediately or lock you away in the depths of hell all alone. The cage is destroyed, but as you are now, it won't take nearly as much to contain you." Crowley tries to give him a penetrating look.

              "You'd have the opportunity to do all of that certainly and that is a risk I'd be taking. But see I think you're smarter than that." He crosses his legs, leaning back a little. "You and I have one thing in common, Crowley. You can't keep us down, not for good and we both know that you're not going to be able to keep me forever. Either I'll be taken from you, escape, or be killed and in that case you know I will be eventually brought back. And when that happens, you'll have to deal with the consequences of your particular choices involving me and I doubt I'll be inclined to be merciful. If mercy is needed.

              "I could be wrong. You might think it worth the short term gain for the long term risk. You might think you'd succeed where even my father failed, in keeping me locked away for all eternity. You certainly wouldn't be the first." Luci shrugs. "Or you could make it a different sort of arrangement. " He gets to his feet, half sliding off the bed. "The throne of hell is my throne after all, you could have it legitimately." He steps into the devil's trap, walking over to where Crowley is now sitting at attention. Another risky move, but necessary to show his confidence and drive home the point of how in the long term anything Crowley could do is incredibly inconsequential.

              "Are you offering to... make me your queen?" Crowley frowns.

              "I believe I'm offering to be your queen, with my kingdom as my dowry, and my requests as my bride price. Call it a marriage of convenience if you will. Standard til death do you part, of course. Or if my siblings come for me. Michael has a claim on me that supercedes yours by every authority. but either way, if I leave, I leave the throne behind." He straddles Crowley's lap and takes his face in his hands. "But it's up to you, it really is. This is important to me and so I offer myself with no specifications as to what you can or can't do to me. I can only make suggestions and remind you of a few simple truths."

               "And when exactly would this ownership take effect?"

               "Technically? As soon as I get either that soul, or the knife, but I don't go to hell with you until my siblings are secure. However until all the terms are met, it's voidable. You have no more than a year to find Meli."

                "Ten."

                "Two."

                "Five and that's as low as I'll go. For all I know you've hidden this soul so securely it'll take me even longer than that to find her. And I'll want a lock of your hair, as surety. To be returned or destroyed at the end of the probationary period, however that may turn out."

                "Fair enough."  Luci takes out a small pair of nail scissors and cuts off a small lock of his hair, "Now, do we have a deal?" he brushes the tip of Crowley's nose with it. "Just to warn you, to seal a deal of this magnitude, will involve really pissing off our parents." At this, Crowley just smiles.

 

                Alex opens her eyes, she dozed off, she's surprised, though it was an exhausting fight and she hasn't been sleeping well.  She'd have thought the aching of her sliced up back would have kept her awake. It was kind of amazing how much glass made its way through her shirt into her skin. The argument with Jody was equally exhausting.

                She had to remind her that grace or no grace, Raphael had more medical knowledge than the most educated doctor and  what's more if she went to the hospital she'd be waiting maybe for hours to get seen, she's not on Jody's insurance and so there's really no point in moving at all. Only Raphael's promise to stay by her side as long as she was injured as well as the fact that even mortal he defeated a valkyrie in combat, convinced Jody to even leave at all.

               "Hey."she calls softly to Raphael who's intently studying one of her criminology text books.

               "Good evening." he nods to her, closing the book. "Helel hasn't returned yet, though he does check in every few hours. He's getting the knife they cut my grace with. Hopefully that will work. I'll need to check your dressings." he nods to her back.

               "Of course." She rubs her eyes. "What about you though? Are you alright?"

               "Merely bruised." he replies and gently removes the bandages. He has such a light touch. She can barely feel the medical tape coming off or the gauze. he washes them with a cool liquid that leaves the cuts feeling a bit warm and tingly and soothes most of the pain. "Here, drink this." he hands her one of two mugs from the night stand, taking one himself. "It'll help with the pain."

               "Alright." She drains the odd definitely medicinal tasting tea as he drinks his own. He's probably hurting more than he's letting on, which is par for the course with Raphael. "What is it?" Alex asks as it begins to make her mouth tingle and numb as well.

               "Coca extract."

               "Coca... you mean like cocaine?" She looks back at him.

               "Not nearly as concentrated. It's just a diffusion of coca leaf and baking soda. It's an effective topical anaelgesic and good for dealing with the discomfort of many things including minor injuries. We had some leaves left."

               "Oh." Alex keeps quiet as he finishes, a feeling of bliss welling up as he finishes bandaging her back. It's so rare for him to touch anyone. Even when they went out for a walk or to the park after a session, he'd avoid even accidentally brushing into people and never shook anyone's hand even if they offered. The feel of his hands is absolutely intoxicating. "Raphael?" She looks back as best as she can without moving too much.

               "Yes, Alex?" For a moment she's lost in his voice and doesn't know what she was going to say. Everything just feels wonderful.

               "How come you never used to touch anyone really, or like being touched, when you had your grace. i know why you might not now, but you never did and I just wondered if there was a reason." Not exactly what she thought she was going to say but she has been so curious. "If you don't mind my asking."

               "I don't. I suppose.. .because human sense are so concentrated. Angels are pretty much sound and light and energy and it's all diffused evenly throughout our forms. my siblings and I are also formed of the traditional elements. air, earth, water, fire. Mine is earth. And earth draws in electricity so my grace tends to attract some of those concetrated electrical impulses running through human bodies when they connect with the one I'm using."

               "Meaning?" though she doesn't even really care about the explanation at the moment as much as she just wants him to keep talking to her.

               "When my vessel touches another person I know what they're feeling, physically, emotionally. I'm already aware of the physical condition of everyone around me, and thoughts are always easy to read, but physical contact is like... going from morse code to high definition television."

                "Oh, so you're a touch empath." Alex realizes. "Are you still?"

                "No. It's a relief in some ways, but it's still a part of myself I've lost and I find myself missing it more than I expected to."

                "So that night Denny died. A hug probably wasn't the most helpful thing." She sighs regretfully. She loved that hug, being able to hold and comfort him. She never really felt like she was able to do that with him very well before. "You didn't need any pain on top of what you already had. I'm sorry."

                "It's... it helped. you had sorrow as well, but mostly what I felt from you was love, compassion, and concern. And Above all a desire to just take all my pain away. What sorrow you felt just made me feel I wasn't so alone in my greif. there was an acceptance of my pain I hadn't... It helped more than I thought anything could, so if I held on a bit too long that was why."

                 "Well, anytime." Alex smiles relaxing into the slowly descending warmth. "Is it like that with other angels?"

                 "No. I was more in tune to them at first, but I quickly learned how to block it out. The same techniques are often surprisingly effective for a certain amount of torture as well." neither of them say anything else after this until he's done. "I am alright, Alex."

                  "Okay." she accepts the statement though she knows it's probably just the coca talking. And if not then he's only okay on the surface. "Hey, you don't think your grace is doing that to Lucifer do you?" the thought suddenly occurs to her. "Making her feel other people's pain."

                  "If so that might be why he's so determined to get rid of it." Raphael grins sitting back down beside her.

                  "You know you don't literally have to be by my side."

                  "I know. I cleaned up the apartment while you slept. I just wanted to be here if you needed me when you woke. if you'd rather I go into the other room."

                  "No. No, it's fine. You just don't have to, that's all." She shrugs .

                  "I'm back." Alex is absolutely stunned to hear Lucifer again. She was sure that she was gone for good. Raphael gets back up out of the chair and goes out to her. That's funny she didn't hear the door.

                  "Why are you covered in blood? You can't walk around like that. People will call the police again. They probably already did. And who did you kill?"

                  "Relax. I got a ride and it's just demon blood."

                   "You're getting it everywhere. I just cleaned this apartment, Helel."

                  "I'm taking a shower now." Lucifer states flatly and goes into the bathroom.

                  Raphael says something he doesn't want Alex to understand as it's in enochian and gets a similarly nasty reply. Alex just gives a sigh and closes her eyes, pretending she has a normal life with normal freinds and a normal job and doesn't have to deal with things like the devil getting demon blood in the carpet. Is that harder to clean than regular human blood? Probably. You'd think she'd be more upset at this. Alex breifly wonders if there's anymore of that coca extract left. When it wears off this will all likely seem much more upsetting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't sure if I was going to bring Crowley into this one. I'm not as familiar with him as a character and wasn't sure if I'd really be able to do him justice, but Luci does need some help and if hell's throne in on the line, then there is definitely one person who'd be interested in keeping other people off it. The enemy of your enemy and so on and so forth.


	44. Amazing Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci and Raphael finally manage to retrieve Raphael's grace.

         "We're guests in her home, Helel," Raphael reminds him almost cheerfully as Luci comes out of the shower. "You cant use all the hot water, drip demon blood all over the carpets or walk around in the nude." which is unfair as he literally did nothing but wash the blood off which took maybe five minutes and used only cold water this time. Not to mention his spurious use of the word nude.

       "I'm wearing underwear." he points out."Which was, oddly enough, the only blood free thing I had on. Besides you have to cut your grace out of me with this. "he takes the chipped blade from the counter where he left it and washes it off in the sink. Luci looks back to the island. It runs the length of the kitchen, about eight feet. That should do. Plus it's granite. How can she afford this apartment anyway? "Her bed's too soft, we'll use the counter." He shoves off the papers and mail and tosses the fruit bowl over by the sink. Raphael just stops what he's doing and gives him a very Raphael look. "What?"

        "Could you go heal Alex?" his brother asks after a moment. "Her back got cut up when Hlokk threw her into the glass coffee table." He motions to the bedroom.

        "Sure." Luci walks over to see Alex fishing around on the floor for a shirt. "So, you're still alive." he teases, touching her forehead.

        "Yeah. Thanks." Alex replies in an almost freindly manner. They seem to be in relatively good moods.

         "We're going to be operating on the counter top so unless you want to see more blood and gore I'd stay in here." He pats her head and walks out again. Much to his surprise. Alex puts on a shirt and pushes the computer chair back out of the room to get a front row seat. She suddenly seems alot more interesting. "Where are the rest of the coca leaves?" He can't find them in his pockets and all Raphael has in his discarded jeans are the necklace and earrings he brought back, presumably for Gabriel though she doesn't really wear jewelry that much. Raphael snatches them from his hand a bit more abruptly than necessary. "Excuse you."

           "They're a birthday present." he says quietly glancing back over to Alex who's adjusting the seat hight and didn't notice his rudeness. You've got to be kidding.

           "You brought back gold incan sacrificial jewelry for your therapist's birthday present?" He says loudly and in english just to be sure the girl hears it. Raphael gives him a dark look.

           "Yes. I only sent a card last year."

           "Why would you even send a card?" Luci shakes his head at his odd little brother.

           "I was grateful for what she did for Michael and wanted to express my appreciation. A card on her birthday seemed an appropriate gesture."

            "You didn't have to get me anything." Aw she's blushing, and actually seems to mean it, too.

            "I know you don't wear much jewelry, but it's almost pure gold so in case you're ever in need of money in an emergency you should be able to get a decent amount for it." Raphael hands it to her, seeing no point in waiting apparently. This is the most sickeningly adorable little infatuation he's seen in a long time. At least he's not stuck in the body of one of the participants this time.

            "Are you kidding? I wouldn't sell this. They'd melt it down." she holds it out looking at the connected golden circles and matching earrings. She's actually putting them on right that moment too.

             "A private collector would pay much more." Luci hops up on the counter.  "but you don't usually have that kind of time in an emergency. Can we get this over with?" He holds out the knife.

             "It's chipped," the angel of the obvious states.

             "I know." Luci lies down as soon as he takes it and grips the sides of the counter to hold himself steady. "What are you doing?" He frowns as Raphael stops to take off the coat and shirt.

            "They're not mine and I don't want to get blood on them." He wraps a towel around his waist and removes the pants as well. Which is odd as he is wearing shorts underneath. How can he be that bashful but not bashful enough to keep it all on? As he moves behind the counter and takes the knife, Alex gives a laugh.

             "You look like you're about to sacrifice her to a pagan god," Alex comments. Raphael actually laughs as well.

             "I dedicate this blood offering to Huehuecoyotl." He grins raising the blade.

             "Cute, Raph." Luci gives a thin smile herself. What is with him right now? "You're not drunk again, are you?"

             "Alex, will you take a picture? Gabriel helped me set up a cloud account so we can upload it to that later." he did not just ask that.

             "What the hell's wrong with you?"

             "You have to admit this is a unique and memorable occaision not likely to happen again." Raphael says almost reasonably.

              "That much is true." Luci sighs. Fine. The boy was tortured for weeks in a newly human body. He can humor him for a damn picture.

             "If you keep smiling it won't turn out right." Alex chides his brother, which is probably the first time he's ever been scolded for smiling too much. Luci's cell phone starts ringing now. For some unknown reason Raphael actually puts the knife down to go answer it.

              "Gabriel, is everything alright?" he asks. Gabriel's calling? Luci quickly goes to sit up but the surface he presses his hand against is a litlte slick and when he puts his weight on it, he falls off. "You heard that?" Alex starts laughing again, as does Raphael, the damn brats. "No! No, we're just working on removing my grace from Helel's chest cavity. It was a joke...... Once everything is done. I promise. But you're alright? Good... We love you, too."

              "She heard you dedicate the sacrifice to her?" Alex asks joking, then looks astonished when Raphael actually nods.

              "She was... concerned." He grins.

              "Oh for a light in the darkness. Can we just get this over with? Or are you two going to be laughing like idiots all night?" Luci makes sure to wipe the counter dry first this time.

               "Okay." Alex lifts the phone again. "Don't pose, just do it and I'll take a bunch of pictures and we'll use the best ones later."

               "Alright. Now hold still." Raphael puts a hand on Luci's stomach. "I don't want you falling off again."

               "Oh fuck you, there was a wet patch. And I am holding still." he retorts and touches the bottom of her breast bone." It's right here. So you'll have to angle upwards." 

               "Alright." Raphael slices into him with the blade. Luci decides not to curse as loud as he can in case someone decides to call the police again. but there's the warmth of the grace again and before Raphael can get his hand in, it's healed.

               "Dammit that knife was supposed to cut anything!" Luci gives into frustration.

                "It cut you, it just didn't stop it from healing." Raphael frowns looking at the bloody knife. Luci just covers his face, of course. But still. "Holy fire." Raphael says. "It can't heal holy fire burns."

                 "You're not setting me on fire."

                 "No, we could dip a blade in holy oil and ignite it and when it turns red make the incision. It'll cauterize the wound so it won't heal." A good idea but for one thing.

               "Well, Raph, that's great but I don't want an open wound permanently in my chest giving easy access to my vital organs either."

               "What if you cut the burned skin away afterwards?" Alex suggests. "With a regular knife."

               "That could work." Raphael nods. Luci gets to his feet and wipes the blood from his torso. "Where are you going?"

               "Out. To get some morphine or cocaine or something to knock me out because I'm sure as hell not going to be able to take having my chest carved out with holy fire without screaming bloody murder otherwise." He grabs some more of Alex's clothes. They're a bit short but they'll do. "I'll be back in a few hours."

 

                Alex can't help but grin as Lucifer walks out of the apartment. Everything is just so pleasant.

               "Are we high?" she asks as Raphael comes over to look at the photographs.

               "We might be. I think maybe I made the extract a little stronger than I intended but it's fine." he flips through the pictures. "I feel wonderful, though. I wish I'd used them on the mountain."

                "They're just everywhere." Alex comments, unable to resist reaching over to touch the patterned scars on his shoulder. "Did he comes like that or..."

                "No." Raphael puts his hand over hers. "They prefer their sacrifices as perfect in body as possible. I know there were a few but he wasn't there to ask when I as put in." He puts the phone down before resting his eyes on her face. "You have a very strong, handsome face, did you know that?" he puts his other hand to her face, caressing her cheek gently with his thumb. It's an odd compliment but somehow it feels more sincere and appreciative than a thousand boys calling her just beautiful or pretty. He just looks at her for a moment, a bit of uncertainty in his eyes.

                "Oh, fuck it." Alex grabs his neck pulling him down into a kiss. He seems almost surprised at first, but responds,leaning in instead of pulling her closer, which is kind of adorably shy. Is she going to have to teach him to kiss properly? Not that he's bad or anything but he doesn't seem to know what to with himself. The thoughts kind of exciting actually.

                 "I forgot my phone." Lucifer of course comes back in as soon as Alex gets him to put his arm around her waist. They both freeze at the sound, as if that would make them invisable or something, but Lucifer seems to ignore them as she grabs her phone from the computer desk. "Use a condom, one neice or nephew is more than enough." She comments on her way out the door.  Raphael breaks away and flees to the bathroom. Alex quickly feels her cheeks start to burn. What the hell did she just do?

                 By the time he comes back out, the pleasant feelings are long gone. All that's left is for her to sit on the end of her bed hiding her face in embarassment and shame. You'd think they'd done more than just kiss a little, but that's enough. Completely stupid, completely inappropriate and so completely thoughtlessly selfish. First she accidentally dates a vampire, then gets involved with a norse god and now she's putting the moves on a damn archangel? What the hell is wrong with her? Besides being a little high and majorly on the rebound tha tis. honestly, even though it was hundreds of years ago that he lost Meli,  Raphael is greiving too. Plus he's been tortured god only knows in what ways. And she's making advances?

                "I am so sorry." She apologizes as she hears him come near the bedroom. "I don't know what I was thinking."

                "The same thing I was, apparently." Is his dry reply, which actually makes her smile.

               "Well, it was inappropriate and selfish and... and very unprofessional of me and an abuse of your trust and..." she's really not sure what else to call it but probably, the sweetest little kisses she's had in a while would be even less appropriate, if just as honest."

               "Not, I made the first advances. I touched you inappropriately, and I apologize for it." It takes a moment for her to realize what he was referring to as the phrase conjures other things to mind than sweetly caressing her face.

               "No, that's not.. intimate maybe, but not exactly...  no, I'm your therapist. It's my responsibility to keep things like this from happening.' She almost doesn't catch the look on his face before it's replaced with a stony mask she hasn't seen when it was just the two of them in a while. "I didn't mean it like that."

               "No, you're right. you're my therapist. I shouldn't have mistaken it for anything else. Excuse me." he walks out into the kitchen. Alright. That just made things worse. She didn't mean that's all she thought of him as. She'd sort of started thinking of him as kid of a freind, but that was still a line she shouldn't have crossed. how do you councel and get to know such truly remarkable beings and not get attatched to them?

                Maybe she's trying for the wrong career. Maybe Professor Anderson can help her with this problem. She obviously can't council Raphael anymore, not after this, but she doesn't want to just abandon him with everything that's happened either. It isn't as if she could refer him to somebody. She's not an actual therapist yet, just doing her best to try and help her freind's brothers. And even if there was someone else, Raphael only trusted her at all in the first place because of Michael.

               "I was able to get holy oil, but it was a bit expensive." She hears Lucifer enter the apartments again. wait. Does she have her own keys now? The thought of the devil having keys to her apartment makes Alex blanch. "So I couldn't afford any cocaine or anything decent. But this guy did sell me some heroin for just ten dollars and that'll knock me out for hours, so we're good on that front."

              "I really wouldn't advise that." Good, Raphael said  something. Heroin? Seriously?

              "No, not without your grace to guard against any adverse reactions, but as things are." Alex gets up and walks out to watch them prepare. "She can still walk?" Lucifer glances over to her. "I'm dissappointed in you, Raph. Were you even trying?" Alex can feel her cheeks get red as Raphael just glares at his brother.

               "Is it really wise to antagonize the person about to cut you open?" He comments coolly, not correcting her for some reason. Though it'd probably just end up prolonguing a discussion neither of them want had.

               "I brought some rope, too, in case I move too much."

               "I'm not exactly sure how we'd secure you." Raphael looks the island over. "The handles on the doors are fairly flimsy."

               "Here, like this." Alex walks forwards and ties a few loops around the base. "Just secure the binding to this.

                "That works." Lucifer gives her an intrigued look and takes of her shirt and pants again. At least this set of clothes won't be ruined with demon's blood. She'll have to ask Claire how to get it out of fabric.

                 Raphael takes a small jar of holy oil, and a knife out of the bag. He holds up the decorated blade giving his sibling a questioning look. Lucifer just smiles and wiggles her fingers. Raphael just sighs and puts it down as Lucifer hops up on the counter with a small bag. She takes out a needle full of what Alex presumes is heroin and a rubber strip for binding her arm with.  It does seem to take her a minute to find a vein.

                 "Ne basada de gooanju." she groans after a second, sinking down to the counter, closing her eyes. Well, Lucifer is blissed the fuck out.

                 "Help me tie him." Raphael finally says something to her again, so that's good. But help tie up lucifer?

                 "Sure. Why not?" Alex grabs the rope. Tying a drugged up satan to her kitchen counter so her brother can cut open her chest and extract a stone containing his grace. "How is this my life." she mutters and loops it into the ones tied around the base.

 

                 "Claire, I'm sure she's alright." Krissy runs up the apartment stairs after her partner.

                 "Yes, and I'm going to make sure she stays that way. You have the stone daggers?" Claire takes out her keys and slowly unlocks the door of the apartment.

                  "I still say you should have just called Jody. She knows how to handle this stuff, doesn't she?"Krissy hands her a rune carved stone dagger and waits on the other side of the doorway.

                  "Not this much." Claire slams the door open, going it, dagger in one hand, gun drawn in the other. "What the hell?"

                  Krissy steps forwards and assesses the scene. That girl from a while back is tied to the top of the island in the kitchen and a handsome south american man has his hand in her chest, reaching up underneath her ribs for something. He ignores them and pulls out a bloody stone the size of a soft ball. There's a needle and rubber strip on the floor showing why the girl's most likely not screaming or resisting even the slightest. But the most disturbing part is Alex sitting i her computer chair next to Claire, eating something from a bowl.

                  "What the fuck?" Krissy almost forgets to get her gun.

                  "We can explain this." Alex gives a nervous smile and holds up the bowl to her foster sister. "Popcorn?"

                  "Sure, what the hell." Claire, unbelievably goes back to close the door before leaning against the computer desk and grabbing a handful of popcorn.

                  "WHAT?"

                  "Hush, it's late. And Don't worry, that's Raphael. It's okay." Alex reassures them. Though Krissy only partly understand why that's supposed to be reassuring.

                   "Hello."  she greets him in enochian. He nods to her breifly, now focused on removing strips of flesh from the edges of the incision. "I like the new look." Krissy's not really sure what else to say. "Okay, what the hell is going on? And why are we okay with this?"

                   The explanation is interesting, unbelievable in the usual way, and infuriating enough to warrant confiscating Alex's popcorn.

                  "Lucy is Lucifer." Krissy looks angrily at Claire, who gives a guilty smile. She can't believe that she let her go there with the devil, and help protect the devil, and didn't tell her Lucy was the fucking DEVIL! Well that does explain why she wasn't so concerned about this. Raphael holds hte bloody gory rock against the girls skin and it glows slightly, the cut just sealing together. Wow.

                  "What'd he take?" Claire asks nodding to the needle on the floor.

                  "Heroin."

                  "Oh, lovely." Claire rolls her eyes. "Just what we needed, a drug addicted devil." Raphael the now ridiculously attractive, washes the blood off his hands and his siblings body before untying her and carrying her off to the bedroom, presumably to sleep off the high or something. What does heroin do to you exactly? Isn't it like opium? Or is it related to morphine. They didn't exactly get much drug education.

                   "Why are you here?" Alex finally asks.

                   "Hel called. She found out Rhys' ex found your address. She went chasing after her and sent me to guard you. here." Claire hands her the rune engraved stone knife. "This'll take down a Valkyrie and almost anything norse that flies, actually."

                   "You're hours too late on that, Claire. But thanks." Alex decides to keep it anyways. "Actually, I do kind of need to talk to you about something."

                   "A wolf hunt? I mean I love Hel and adore Bree and I know he's their family, but you're mine, so." Claire gives Alex a breif punch in the shoulder. Alex just grins.

                    "Thanks, but no. I'll leave that to Hlokk. Um, excuse us." Alex gets up and leads Claire to the corner of the room farthest from the bedroom.

                    "Damn, girl."Claire laughs after a minute, looking over towards the bedroom. Alex looks embarrassed and covers her eyes.  She'll just leave them alone.

                    "So," Krissy leans on the door watching Raphael tuck in his completely out of it sister. "I'm glad to see you're okay. I'd heard something happened though Claire didn't seem to think she could take me into her confidence about it apparently."

                     "No, what are you doing?" Lucy starts speaking in enochian before Raphael can make a response. "Their left flank is the weakest. Don't... No don't throw it to Avery, you idiot. Ahhh. I told you..." Raphael actually gives a smile at this.

                     "There was a foot ball game between the police and fire departments earlier in the summer." He looks down at the large green rock in his hands. "I think he's dreaming about it."

                      "Oh, who won?"

                      "It was close, but Michael took over in the second half and brought the fire department back with Helel's help. He is generally the better strategist." Raphael walks back out to the living room and takes out one of those jewelery cabbages from the fridge. Inside is a smaller peice of the same rock, which almost flies from his hand to the larger one. It fuses with it, the whole thing smoothing itself out even more, almost shaping itself in his hands, lengthening into a sort of cocoon shape. Alex and Claire, having stopped their conversation, look over at it.

                      "That's absolutely beautiful." Claire can't help but comment.

                      "It's still not... healed." Raphael frowns. "I think I have to take it to heaven, but I can't.." he looks back at the bedroom.

                      "She can stay here while you're gone. I won't... turn her in." Alex says much to Claire's surprise, but not Krissy's. Everyone seems to just love Satan. God only knows why. "Will we, Claire?"

                      "What? Fine. No, we won't." Claire relents rather quickly under Alex's glare.

                      "I'll talk to him when he wakes." Raphael starts back to the bedroom. Claire frantically signs to Krissy to call the angel behind Alex's back. Good at least she does have some good sense.

                     "I have to go move the car. We're double parked." Krissy says and starts out of the apartment. Which is actually true. If Claire thinks she's not going to hear a hell of alot about that little deception of hers. 'Oh, it's just a fallen angel bree was once really close to with special skills they need or something. You know they never tell us anything important.' Bullshit.  Just for that she's changing all the radio presets and the pass code, too. Krissy takes out her phone because praying just feels too weird. With everything Harahel told her about Castiel, she can't help but find him a little intimidating. About as much as Harahel finds the Winchesters honestly, though she's not exactly sure why. They're bad asses sure but they're also big old dorks and kind of softies about a lot of things. They're human. A so text it is.

                    'Found Lucifer. She's at Alex's with Raphael. Currently drugged out on heroin. Should probably come get her before she wakes up.' that's good, or is she a he? She's a she right now but she's an angel. There really needs to be a new word for angels. You can't just call them it. What's that intersex term? Ze? zir? Have they decided on one yet? You'd think they'd have one in enochian but everything got gendered when they had to start talking with humanity. Krissy just sighs and hits send. That should be good enough. What the hell was Alex thinking? Offering to harbor the devil. Krissy climbs in the bug and goes to find a proper parking space.

                   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ne basada de gooanju- (enochian) holy glory of creation.


	45. Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters try to figure out what's going on.  
> Gabriel and Raphael have a couple sibling to sibling conversations.  
> Takes place the same time as the last few chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When words won't do any more, all you really have left are your actions. But aside from what you do, what you don't do can send pretty powerful messages as well. Of course, how exactly would you get credit for not doing all the horrible things you could have done? I mean the fact that you would have done them and people would have expected you to do them, don't exactly speak very well for you to begin with. And not murdering people, stealing their grace, betraying and abandoning them, are kind of the absolute minimum required for meaningful interaction.  
> It kind of makes me think of all those Nice Guys (tm) who list all the horrible things they don't do as a reason girls should be lining up to go out with them. Oh, so you don't beat or rape or use women? Did you once have a problem with doing this that you somehow think it's so remarkable that you don't now? Because you could say just about anything really. Like, I don't throw my own feces at passing cars. Or I don't stop up vents with play dough or use raw tabacco leaf as incense. It's like how pixie sticks can claim to be fat free. Oh really? Pure sugar has no fat in it? Amazing! But anyway onto the main event.

                     Dean pulls at his bonds. He can't believe those damn demons got the jump on him. He's getting old. He must be. Of course Andrew is just too young.

                    "Hey, you okay?" he looks over to the side where the trainee is tied to some sort of rack or stone slab.

                    "Oh, peachy." The boy replies, "Think this means we're close to something?"

                    "Not necessarily." Dean tugs at the ropes, the rusty hoop it's tied to creaks a little. With just enough pressure maybe it'd break or come loose. "That depends on whether these demons have any angel blades on them. " The rooms dark but it looks almost like there are wards around the room. Great.

                     "So what we do now? Pray?" Not as sarcastic a question as it once would have been.

                      "Sure, but the rooms warded, I don't think any angels are getting in here. I'd keep working on those ropes if I were you. They should be back to torture us fairly soon," Dean lifts up his feet, to put all his weight on the hoop. Nothing. There's not enough give to jump and he can't get a grip on the rope to pull. They managed to tie his hands together back to back. "Seeing as they didn't kill us instantly, they must want something from us. Don't give them anything. The longer we last the longer we give the calvary to find a way into us. "Hear that Cas, baby? We're in a bit of a bind and could use a little help. We're in southern Idaho in a barn, I'm pretty sure. Hurry up. I'm not sure how well the kid can hold up to demonic torture."

                      "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence." Andrew struggles with about as much effect as Dean.  A cloud moves or something revealing a bit more light through the cracks of the barn. Those are enochian sigils sure enough but that one's not for keeping archangels out...

                      "Shit, Cas, it's a trap. Stay as far from here as possible. You hear me? Just come get us in heaven when they're done."

                      "Hey! I don't want to die yet."

                      "You're not a real hunter until you've died at least once, kid. Rite of passage. New plan, piss off the demons so we die quicker."

                      "Fuck that!" Andrew renews his struggle with a lot more enthusiasm. He actually manages to get a hand free this time, too.

                      "Attaboy, Andrew"

                      "That better have been reverse psychology, old man." The kid grumbles, working to free his other hand from the restraints. No respect. No respect at all. "And did you know that you can pray silently? You don't have to say it out loud and mentally scar everyone around you?"

                     "Give me a break, I'm not exactly a religious man." Of course this statement just makes Andrew stop and give him a 'what the hell is wrong with you you're dateing a damn angel' look.

                     "You're not religious? You're boyfriend is an archangel! So is your sister in law." Did he call it or what? Dean just shrugs. Gods in general are a lot harder to worship once you've met them and received no good answers.  "You've actually met God himself. Or is that just like, a rumor."

                     "Alright." A demon in a power suit comes in the front just as Andrew is getting the last leg free. He's followed by about seven other demons, not so snappily dressed. As all their trainees have the appropriate wards tattooed on their bodies, they're not able to just slam Andrew back down with demonic powers, and instead he has to be restrained by three of them. One for each free limb. "The little one's for Itzy." He hands a fourth demon a chipped obsidian dagger that reminds Dean of something, he's not sure what. "Just the heart. Burn the rest."

                    "No!" Andrew screams as the dagger slices across his diaphragm. The demon reaches a hand in and rips out his still beating heart. Andrews scream die abrubtly and the demons holding his flesh release him.

                    "To Itztlacoliuhqui," the demon sounds almost bored and holds the heart above his head. An icy chill fills the room, like being doused with ice water, and the heart disappears with a bright flash.  The bored one flicks his fingers at the corpse and it bursts into intense flames, charring and turning to ash before Dean's eyes. shit. So much for resurrection those bastards. They just keep getting smarter, don't they. Or at least they think they do.

                    "Have fun with the Winchester over there. But remember you can't use him as leverage if he's dead." Power suit gives Dean a cursory glance. "Ralph, don't loose that knife." And power suit disappears, probably not wanting to be here for the carnage.

                   "Yeah, Ralph, don't want to face a pissed off archangel without your broken knife." Dean mocks him. Ralph just gives a knowing, malicious smile and licks Andrew's blood off his fingers.

                   "Dean Winchester." One closest to him, wearing some sort of bus driver, draws an angel blade. Yep, these are the right demons alright. Where do they keep getting these damn blades? "We are going to have some fun." He draws the tip of it down from the nape of deans neck to his jeans, slicing through his shirt and leaving a welling trail of blood down his chest.

                    "You know, I generally insist on at least a few drinks before getting my clothes ripped off, but then you're probably not used to someone as classy as me." Dean winks. his back talk just gets him a blow to the mouth. "Dude, c'mon. Not the face." One of the other demons snickers, but bus driver just moves Dean's  shirt aside revealing the anti possession tattoo.

                    "I was thinking we'd get rid of this thing, maybe take you for a spin." He scratches a deep circle around the tattoo and starts to dig his nails in.

                    "You think so, huh?" Dean smashes his head forwards against the demon's, knocking him back just far enough kick out his knee cap. The other demon's draw their blades and start to approach, but Dean just hangs on the ropes binding his hands and kicks the recovering bus driver back into another demon's blade.

                      This weight and motion finally snaps the hoop. The binding around his wrists slacken enough to rotate them and grab the bus driver's dropped blade from the ground.  The next demon's death brings in ten more.  Jesus, Where the hell are they coming from? And who the hell lets all these demons out in one place at a time? Especially with all the chaos he knows is going on in hell right now.  This time instead of just being tied, they pin him to the wall with what looks like thin strips of sheet metal ripped from the walls through the calves and forearms.

                       "I can't believe the angel's not here yet." Ralph complains before driving one last spike through Dean's naval. The pain is almost enough to make him black out, almost and he regales the demon horde with his knowledge of various curses and threats in several languages. A bright light flashes through the cracks and the earth quakes, sending planks from the unstable barn walls falling down, a strong wind, stripping the roof.  "This thing had better work."  Ralph grips the obsidian blade. The demons rush forwards as his baby blasts open the doors like the badass warrior he is and starts smiting.

                        "Oh, you guys are fucked now." Dean forces a grin. None of the demons are concerned with him right now, so he grits his teeth and tries to pull his right arm from the wall. The metal isn't penetrating the wood that deeply so with a lot of pain and effort he gets it loose. But more and more demons keep appearing as more and more are smote by the angry archangel. Ralph weaves his way in through the other demons and stabs at Castiel, who moves instinctively, but not enough to entirely keep from being slashed and much to both their surprise, the blade cuts through to the shining grace beneath, leaving a glowing line in it's wake. "CAS!"

                       "Hey!" Some girl yells. "Leave my son alone, you vile worms." What the hell? The demons all turn to look at her in surprise.

                       "I am not... your son..." Castiel growls using the last of his strength to smite Ralph and knock the obsidian blade to the other side of the barn. Holy hell, is that Lucifer?

                       "Demons? Really? You got caught by demons?" a familiar voice tsks as Dean watches Lucifer mercilessly slaughter demon after demon, a blade in each hand. What the hell? "You're going soft." Dean glances over to see Crowley put his hands in his pockets.

                      "We all have our off days." Dean moves his free but inflamed arm over to try and get the metal strip from his other arm. "You here to watch or what?"

                      "Darling?" Crowley raises his voice. "Shall I get him down?"

                      "Not yet, baby cakes." Lucifer pauses breifly enough to blow Crowley a kiss. He catches it and puts it in his breast pocket. What the actual fuck?

                       "You do know that's Lucifer, right?" Dean gives it another tug but he's feeling dizzy and can't muster up the strength.

                       "I should damn well hope so. I'd hate to think I couldn't recognize the king of hell no matter what's been done to him." Crowly walks away to the other side of the barn and picks up the chipped obsidian blade. Blood is just starting to soak the floor. Lucifer beheads the last demon and stretches out a bit, as if this was all just a mild exercise for her. It did kind of look that way but still."For you, My dearest." He presents it to her like a maitre d' presenting an expensive bottle of wine, giving her a charming bow. The red queen stretches out her bloody hand and takes the dagger. Granted she just gruesomely dismembered a small army of demons, but to be that drenched in demon blood just has to have been a personal choice.  She takes the kerchif from over his arm next and wipes of her face before walking over to Castiel, who's lying on the floor trying to stay conscious, physically holding the wound together.

                       "You're getting sloppy. I know Raphael taught you better than this." Lucifer crouches down by him, placing the blade to his chin. "Didn't I tell you to stay with Gabriel? " Lucifer looks down at the trenchcoat breifly and reaches into the right pocket with her free hand. Dean finally manages to remove the second one from  the wall, leaving it in his arm so he doesn't bleed out even more quickly.  "And carrying this around?" Lucifer holds up the fused peices of grace they managed to collect before the demons got to them.  "Really, son? Tch, tch, tch." Lucifer shakes his head.

                       "I'm not your son." Castiel manages. Why does he keep calling him that?

                       "Relax." Lucifer lightly pats his head. "You'll live." And much to everyone's amazement he just gets back up and just walks away from him. Dean frees his legs only to find that all he can do now is collapse onto the floor, bleeding from the wound in his abdomen.

                       "So, Winchester's dying again." Crowley comments

                       "Never when you want them to." Dean hears an exhasperated Lucifer as things start to fade into black. The last thing he sees are bloody legs walking towards him.

                     

 

                     "Dean!" The sound of his brother's voice brings him back to conciousness and he feels hands grasping him, one on his chest, one lifting his head from the ground.

                   "Cas... where's Cas?" Dean opens his eyes grabbing Sam's arm and looks over to where a few angels are doing their best to heal the unconscious Castiel's injury.  It looks smaller than it was before, but they look drained. "Cas!" He runs over, barely noting the lack of metal shards peircing his arms and legs.

                    "Dean, you're alive." Castiel's eyes crack open, a relieved smile crossing his face. "I thought... I thought he..." This brings Dean's attention back to the fact that he's not in fact dead or even injured in any way.

                     "Did... did one of you heal me?" He asks the tired angels who shake their head. "Then what..." Dean puts a hand to his stomach, just to double check but despite the blood stains and holes in the fabric where his skin was pierced, where the injury was is just whole solid flesh.  There is no fucking way that Lucifer healed him. But he did have that piece of Raphael's grace he took from Castiel.  But there is no way in all of existence that Lucifer would ever save his life, there just isn't. And what's more he didn't kill Castiel or steal his grace or anything he easily could have. "What the hell just happened here?" He looks to Castiel who just brushes the other two angels hands away and puts his hand to the remaining injury. He closes his eyes and concentrates, somehow binding himself back together. The effort costs him though and he goes limp. He only has enough strength to gently squeeze dean's hand to reassure him.

                     "What happened here?" Sam looks around at the carnage. There are less dead bodies and strewn body parts and dismembered corpses.

                     "Sir, we're taking you back to heaven to recuperate."  One of the angels puts a hand on Castiel's arm.

                     "He shouldn't really have been able to do that, but he did and it's wiped him out. He'll regain his strength much faster in the garden, maybe just days instead of weeks." the other one does her best to reassure Dean. It's kind of funny how bland they've become to Castiel acheiving what was thought impossible, or at least incredibly unlikely.

                   "I have to stay with Gabriel." Cas protests.

                   "Cas, no, she'll be fine for a few days. What can you do anyway with your battery drained? Rest up. She'll be fine for a few days." Dean looks over to Sam giving him a pointed look.

                    "Right." he nods. "How did they injure you? Did they have an archangel blade?"

                    "No, they're all accounted for." The first angel says after a minute.

                    "There was a black dagger, with a chip in the end." Dean snaps, "It's gone now but it sliced through him like butter."

                    "That shard." Castiel tries to sit up. "That we found at the cottage. It's enchanted some how. Amriel, it might have been the same one that was used on Raphael."

                    "We'll look into it." The two help him to his feet, Dean helping support him the best he can.

                    "I'll be right back." Castiel gives Dean a weak smile and a quick kiss before the other two can take him away.

                    "Please find Raphael." Amriel pleads as they vanish.

                    "Dean." Sam is at the stone slab and pile of ashes. "Is this Andrew?"

                    "Yeah. They sacrificed him to some... itzy god. A crappy unenthusiastic sacrifice but it seems to have been accepted. Just ripped out his heart and burned his corpse so we couldn't bring him back." Dean closes his eyes for a minute. "He was just a kid. And who the fuck is itsy the colicky?"

                    "Itsy the colicky?" Sam looks back "That can't be right."

                    "No shit. What the fuck just happened here?"

                    "I know Cas didn't do this." Sam states just looking at the slaughter.

                    "Sam, you are not going to believe what happened. C'mon, we've got to burn this place down and get you back to the hospital. Why the hell did you leave Gabriel anyway?"

                    "Because you told me to." Sam takes out his phone and shows him the texts. 'Cas is down. Bring rit zien.' and coordinates. Dean takes out his phone from his jacket pocket and it's has a bloody hand print on the back and blood on the buttons and touch screen. Dean feels a little odd and a little sick. Lucifer used his phone to bring Sam here. Away from Gabriel. Fuck.

                     "You need to call some angels and get them to take Gabriel out of the hospital right now. And I mean right the fuck now. She needs to be back in the bunker immediately."

                     "What?"

                     "I didn't call you. Lucifer did. He's working with Crowley now and he has that blade," Sam turns pale and immediately closes his eyes and starts to pray. 

                    

                    "No." Gabriel snaps, "I am not leaving the hospital! Don't make me banish you." The angels look at each other, a bit unsure of what to do. On one hand, Gabriel is currently mortal and in no position to resist at the moment. On the other hand, she is Gabriel and will eventually regain her grace and they've heard stories about what happens to supernatural creatures who piss her off. Removing her forcibly from her hospital bed against her will would definitely qualify as pissing her off. 

                   "But Lucifer..." Baruchiel starts to try and reason with her but he's cut off with a look.

                   "Is not going to hurt me. He had the opportunity to take out both me and Sam months ago and he didn't. He's not going to now."

                   "What?" That's right, they're not quite so up to date on every little detail.                                   

                   "And what's more, if I heard correctly, he also had the opportunity to take out Dean and Castiel as well and he didn't. He has also rescued our brother from what I presume is a pagan god I knew since Raphael refuses to tell me who it was.  If my brother is on his way to me, then I will be here and greet him with open arms, do you understand me, and so help me none of you will interfere." Gabriel sits up straighter, adjusting the pillow behind her back a bit.

                    "Sister, we just got you back." Hadriel pleads, "We won't let him send you back to the abyss."

                    "It's Fan... ahhh, forget it. Fine. It's the abyss. We'll just keep calling it fucking abyss because nobody can remember anything else. Fine. You win." Gabriel throws up her hands. "I'm not going anywhere so you can go and tell my darling husband Sam." They both cringe at the word, husband, as so many of his siblings do.  "That he can take his over protective demands and shove them up his ass." A wave of dizziness hits her, just as the nurse comes in to check her blood pressure again,and she lays back, closing her eyes to try and calm down. Baruchiel sets his jaw and takes out his phone, probably texting him exactly that and in quotations. "Tell him to bring me some Kentucky grilled chicken too, I'm starving." 

                    "You still have your lunch." Hadriel goes to the discarded tray.

                    "I'm not hungry for that swill, Shelly is craving kentucky grilled chicken, aren't you Shelly." She coos at her stomach. A declaration of sacrifice reaches deep within her mind. "Wait, what the hell? Hadriel, give me my phone, it's charging over there."

                    "Is everything alright?" She asks bringing the phone over to Gabriel.

                    "Uh, yeah, maybe. Raphael's probably just drunk again or something." She dials the number he last called her from. Hopefully it's still working.

                    "Gabriel, is everything alright?"He immediately asks.

                   "Yeah, did I just hear you dedicate a sacrifice to huehuecoyotl?"

                    "Oh, you heard that?" Raphael says sheepishly, almost laughing. There's some laughter in the background.

                    "Yes, I heard that Raphael. When you dedicate a blood offering to a god that god is always aware of that. And just so you know the old coyote's usual response to blood offerings being dedicated to him is to show up and beat the offender senseless. I was well past that sort of thing in those days, I'll have you know, so I hope you're not doing anything stupid while drunk or high like trying to fortify me with human sacrifice." The alarmed look on her siblings faces is almost amusing.

                     "No! No, we're just working on removing my grace from Helel's chest cavity. It was a joke..." He protests. the image that must have prompted that joke makes Gabriel start laughing.

                     "Oh. That is kind of funny actually. Please tell me you're taking pictures and that you'll send them to my phone immediately."

                     "Once everything is done I promise. But you're alright?"

                     "I'm just fine." she lies, as the numbers on the blood pressure gauge say differently. But there's no need to worry him. He can't do anything yet and she doesn't want him to rush the extraction and accidentally kill Lucifer in the process.

                     "Good."

                      "I'm glad everything's okay. I love you big brother. Both of you."

                      "We love you, too."

                      "Bye." Gabriel hangs up and finally takes the thermometer from the patiently waiting nurse.

                      "You know, the purpose of bed rest is to actually get some rest, decrease stress." The nurse says gently, adjusting the fetal monitor. Michele gives her usual response of violently attacking the thing.

                      "I know." Gabriel says meekly giving her a dimpled smile. "But I'm a people person. I need my people." This just elicits a roll of the eyes from Baruchiel and doesn't make a dent in the excessively worried look on Hadriel's face. "It's okay. Lucifer is not on his way here. He's with Raphael getting peices of grace removed from his chest cavity so relax." This has the opposite effect of relaxing them though. "No, really it's okay.  It means that Raphael is getting his grace back. This is a good thing, I promise. And I'm fairly sure it's further proof that Lucifer is actually reforming." The look they give her at this is just full of pity, which is irritating as hell. "Haven't you heard him singing to us all?" Gabriel asks quietly.

                      "That's him?" Baruchiel sits down on the sleeper sofa by the window. "It was so beautiful. You could even hear the guitar."

                      "I couldn't even remember what his voice sounded like." Hadriel crosses her arms. "Why is he singing to us?"

                      "Well, I kind of shut down pretty much all of his communication options, all he can do really is send out his prayers like any other human, often on an open channel. But he's really singing to Michael to help him return from the abyss. And he was singing to Raphael to comfort him and let him know he was coming to save him. He sang to me as an apology for our last fight. He's changing. He really is. Being human does some strange and incredible things to you, you know." Gabriel smiles, feeling that sense of hope that keeps wobbling back in and our of her heart.

                      "I thought it was just some gifted human or... I don't know." Baruchiel looks like he's about to cry. "You know it's all just more lies, big sister."

                      "Maybe, but maybe not. Though, I don't think it's the worst idea, offering up prayers of love and affection to your brothers and sisters in the abyss. It helps them heal. Raphael believes he's changed. He won't even call him Lucifer any more, just Helel. Look, I understand everyone's concern. I have doubts myself, and I'm not just going to believe what he says. But I believe it can happen and that he can change and I'm willing to give him the chance. Please tell me you understand." Gabriel reaches out her hands to her two guardians. They give each other almost sorrowful looks and each take and kiss one of her hands. Not exactly what she meant but she'll take it. " Come here, you lug heads." She pulls them in to a quick hug. "Now, If you could go stand vigil outside and let me take a nap or something, I'm exhausted."

                      "Yes, sir." Hadriel concedes which means Baruchiel has no choice but to follow. Well, there are two angels that won't try to kill Luci on sight. Hopefully she hasn't made a horrible mistake and led them to their own destruction. She lays back and closes her eyes. At least the doctors have stopped trying to convince her to induce delivery just yet. Shelly's not nearly ready. Though having to cite religious edicts as the reason that finally shut them up really burns her. Especially as they started putting pressure on Sam to try and talk some sense into her. If this were just a normal pregnancy with a normal baby, then absolutely, but Michele is a baby with the feirce tenacity and instinctive drive to her own survival of a human being with angelic grace to back it up. Like most adult nephilim, if she goes down, she's dragging as many people as she can down with her. 

                      Her siblings have been remarkably chill about the whole archangel pregnant with a nephilim thing. Though she can't be sure that a segment of them is not plotting to shadow and murder the child at the slightest sign of corruption. Or even before that, but the angels that are left are just so tired or waging wars and going on crusades that they're far more willing to listen to reason. There are special cases and special circumstances and in this one, no humans are being harmed. Maybe there are not a few who are jealous, and wish they had their own human bodies and didn't have to share with a human when they posses them. But realistically she and Raphael can't keep making vessels for everyone who wants them, they'd never do anything else. Besides there has to be a certain amount of heavenly host available.

                      But they are right, it isn't fair. And isn't necessarily just either. There was such an uproar when they found out Michael had removed his grace. Especially as he was the one to make it a capital offense in the first place. But like with most of the old edicts, times were different then and the reasons for the laws have changed. It wasn't becoming human that was the real issue, it was desertion. They were fighting a war after all. And now, Michael had no real place in heaven, no real role and was still recovering from being absolutely shattered in the cage. She wasn't deserting anything. If anything heaven had deserted her.

                      With the abyss existing now, too, it's not even necessarily the end. An angel who becomes human gets sent there to recover and can only be retrieved after being given back their grace. And with grace being able to be removed and replaced, it's just a matter of being transferred to the reserves. With little else to do, Gabriel's devoted her time to creating a system for angels to be able to experience humanity in all it's fullness. It started with the school Sam designed during his time in the hospital and Castiel's attempts to educate his siblings on the complexities of human existence and the current times. Hunters who were also vessels would agree, for short periods of time, to allow angels to possess them and assist them in carrying out their hunting duties.  Granted it took a long time for each vessel and angel pair to work out suitable arrangements for the body's use.  It took even longer for the angel to understand that they had absolutely no rights to the body at all and what that meant. Several angels had to be forcibly evicted and confined to the garden, but all in all it was a huge success.

                      But since with the humans and angels working together like this, the supernatural threat to the world is rapidly becoming much more manageable than it was, it leaves a few angels with nothing much to do. Some monsters and even pagan gods have been working on peacefully coexisting with humanity and trying to convince their brethren to do the same. Eventually hunters will be more of a low key policing force than anything else. So it wouldn't be a big thing to allow the excess angels to have their grace removed and be born to lead human lives. Not only can their grace be returned to them should the need arise, but if they are able to live out full human lives, when they die they'll return to the abyss. From there they can recover from the experience and return to duty. Where as before, once an angel was lost, they were thought lost forever. There are so many more options now it makes no sense to confine yourself to old ways of thinking.

                       Who knows maybe someday, they can eliminate the threat of demons. But while Lucifer may have created the first few, humanity took to creating their own very quickly. Humanity embodies the very best of creation, but also the very worst. It was tainted with darkness from the moment Lucifer entered the garden and it doesn't do to forget any of that. He broke something precious, but he himself was broken in the effort to contain the very darkness that froze him. Everyone remembered the act of free will that broke heaven asunder and threw existence into war and chaos for eons. However, no one remembers the very first act of free will that allowed for creation to even happen.

                      No one was there when Lucifer, no when Helel ben Sahar gave himself to the darkness in order to trap and contain her. Only Michael, Gabriel and Raphael were there. Only they knew what he was like before being slowly poisoned by the mark. Only they know what was lost that day, why after all he'd done, all he'd risk, he might have any justification for feeling the way he did at their fathers command. But while feelings are always valid, actions are not. If he finally realized that, then maybe there's hope than the angel who's decisions helped to both create and break the world, can help to repair it again. Maybe Helel can take the role he was always meant to play, as humanity's greatest teacher and advisor. Maybe. One Day.

                    'Gabriel' a plantive prayer reaches her mind. 'I need some advice.' what the hell?

                    'Raphael? Are you praying to me? Are you okay?' For Raphael to use prayer, something must be seriously wrong. 

                    'I might be a little high off coca extract but that's not what I need to talk to you about.'  Okay something is definitely wrong, but not the kind of seriously wrong she was expecting. 

                    'Well you're damn well going to talk to me about it. Why are you doing cocaine? What the hell Raph, you of all angels should know better.' 

                    'Not cocaine, coca extract, as a tea. I made it for Alex and me for pain management after we got into a fight with Fenrisulfr's valkyrie girlfreind. Did you know he was dating Hlokk for three years and Alex for the last two of those same years?' He sounds incredibly pissed at this, which is no wonder as it meant he had to fight a valkyrie while mortal.

                    'Did you kill her? She's not in love with you now is she? Valkyries tend to have a thing for warriors, especially if they've been defeated.'

                    'I don't think I exactly defeated her so much as held out long enough for her to blow off steam and calm down without killing Alex. And I certainly hope not.'

                    'Well, I guess you'll find out soon enough. Are you two alright?' She is never going to forgive Rhys for doing this to her freind, two timing a valkyrie with her that bastard pup. As if he didn't know what could happen to a mortal girl involved with an immortal taken by another immortal. She told him to break up with Hlokk before bedding Alex at the very least, but apparently the lack of supervision and temptation of a fairly thorough virgin were too much.  She should have known he'd take her example a bit too well. He could have at least given his lovers the protection she gave hers though. And at least she never took on mortal mistresses, or lied to them. Well, not about that.

                    'Helel healed us when he returned with the rest of my grace. But I need to talk to you and he has the phone.'

                    'You couldn't have just borrowed Alex's phone?'

                    'Yes, but then you'd have known we were with her.' Gabriel just gives him a second. 'Shit,'

                    'It's okay. I won't tell unless you want me to, I promise. Now what's wrong? What happened?'

                    'I kissed Alex.'

                    'Oh for a light in the darkness, I thought something actually bad had happened. Wait, was that your first kiss? And I don't count Meli at all because you were in her body at the time and no, dreams don't count if you haven't had the real thing first. Though I'm really not sure what exactly you'd call that. I don't think anyone's ever fallen in love with their own vessel before. Or at least not that anyone's admitted. How would you persue that kind of relationship anyways?'

                    'Can you focus? This is important.'

                    'Can you, you coke head?' Given the topic it's a little less surprising that he's kind of high off of something. There's no way he'd discuss this sort of thing otherwise.

                    'Gabriel, please.'                  

                    'Okay, so you kissed Alex. And?'

                    'And Lucifer came back in the apartment for the phone, told us to use a condom and left again,' Gabriel can't help but laugh her ass off at this. Hopefully he doesn't hear her. 'I did hear that, you brat. This isn't funny.'

                     'It is a little.  And Lucifer? Not Helel?'

                     'No, that was definitely a Lucifer moment.' he sounds so irritated she just wants to laugh again. A lucifer moment, that's wonderful.

                     'Okay, so I'm guessing that kind of wrecked the mood. What happened then?'  Because obviously neither Raphael nor Alex would have done what they should have done and ignored Luci being a little shit and just gone on their merry way.   

                     'I hid in the bathroom,' he confesses somewhat adorably.

                     'For how long?' how long has it even been since that phone call?

                     'I'm still here,'

                     'Oh for goodness sake, Raph. What are you a child? Okay, you kissed Alex. Well, she is available, so... what's the problem besides you bolting like a frightened rabbit?'

                     'It's wrong.'

                     'Brother, you are definitely talking to the wrong angel.'

                     'No. She's... that's not our relationship. We're just... freinds, kind of. It was supposed to be therapy but I think we're actually freinds, I'm not sure. I like her a great deal and always have, but this new body is being difficult. I always thought she was handsome but i didn't exactly want to just touch her so badly. Everything else is the same. She's no less appealing or enjoyable in every other way, but this is confusing me and I like the time we spend together and don't want to make things all messy and complicated.' Wow, that's alot of words from Raphael that aren't a lecture or outburst of temper. 'I heard that'

                     'Sorry, out of practice with this. Look, you're human at the moment, messy and complicated is kind of part and parcel with the whole deal. And you can still be friends and have sex, it's called friends with benefits and it's fantastic. It's more than friends but without the commitment and obligations of exclusive lovers.'

                     'If I'm going to have any sort of sexual relationship with anyone it's most certainly going to involve commitment, obligation and exclusivity, Gabriel. Just because you indulged in licentious abandon, doesn't mean everyone has to.'

                      'Sure, fine. Woo the woman, but you can't do it from in the bathroom. You just need to go talk to her. Tell her how you feel like you just told me and go from there. She'll tell you how she feels and you can both decide where to go from there in bed and out of it.'

                     'But what if...'

                     'Raph, I know she likes you and thinks very highly of you and she always has. She's even asked me about you after she started counseling Michael, not that she'd say what he told her about anything but it was most likely incredibly complimentary. I'm assuming your new body's male because girls aren't her thing, but really just go for it. And you don't have to worry about your lack of practical two body experience because she's not that experienced herself and a really sweet person besides,'

                      'Well, I wasn't until you just said that.'

                      'Liar, but seriously go talk to her. You're hiding in a bathroom, right now, there's really nowhere to go from that than up.'

                      'Was that supposed to be comforting?'

                      'No it was supposed to get you off your ass. Now, i know you know pretty much everything there is to know about the human body, but there is a difference between theory and practical application, so we should probably have a little conversation about foreplay and technique.'

                     'Absolutely not. I already know far too much about your sexual history and have no desire to learn more.'

                     'Raph..'

                     'This conversation is over.'

                      He's so bashful, and it's kind of sweet having a crush on Alex. Rhys was such and idiot and she thought he really cared about her in the end, too. Not enough to treat her with the respect Gabriel made very clear was the only thing she would tolerate. Well, both Alex and Raphael could use a little loving tenderness right about now, and they could definitely use the experience. Once they're used to it, they won't be so overwhelmed by it. Alex's is really the best place for him right now, regardless. She should have asked him about his grace, though it's reasonable to assume if the retrieval was successful he wouldn't be worrying about his feelings for Alex right now, he'd just be retreating into angel hood to escape them. Well, she'll give them a few hours to enjoy each other before calling him back and asking about the important stuff that got pushed aside by his little crush. It's kind of cute, actually, and really about time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Raphael would probably have to be a little high to go to Gabriel for romantic advice. But in his defense his only other real option was either Lucifer or Castiel and he and Castiel aren't quite that close yet. Plus Cas is just as much a newbie in this area as his brother. Talking to Lucifer is obviously not an option, even though Raphael is unaware of his desire to ultimately get Gabriel to leave her husband to be with Raphael. I shouldn't have to explain why. Though Luci is full in favor of the thought of him using Alex as a practice girl.  
> Really Gabriel is the best choice of available confidants. Not that the bar is really that high there. Unfortunately Gabriel is just as clueless to the ethical crisis Alex is finding herself in as Raphael is, and doesn't think much of most taboos in the first place, children, incest, and rape being about it. While she was all in favor of one day having Alex as a daughter in law, she is forced to admit to herself that her son really screwed the pooch on this one and it's his own damn fault entirely. Granted she also doesn't really think of it as a long term relationship, but just because something doesn't last doesn't mean it wasn't valuable in it's own way. And who knows, maybe if Rhys has some real competition, he'll get his act together. Maybe the experience will help get Raphael and Sariel back together. Who knows?(Though he denies there was anything there. Who does he think he was kidding? Michael maybe, but that's it)  
> Not to mention the fact that if he finally gets laid (no she does not count Meli) maybe he'll stop giving her that look every time she makes an off color reference or innuendo.


	46. The Importance of Communication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the previous weeks writing spree I'm having a little bit of a writers block. Will probably be a few days before I have more chapters up. Of course I could get inspiration immediately after deciding to take my time like the last time, but just in case, I'm not stopping, just having a little trouble figuring out how Luci's going to get to Michael and whether or not he's going to be successful, What exactly Dean did with Micheal's grace, and Crowley's role in all of this. How is Claire going to deal with this (not well). 
> 
> FYI When it's in Raphael's point of view now, Luci is referred to as Helel as that's how he thinks of him now, a broken and flawed Helel, but Helel again.

 

            "What are you still doing here?" Helel asks curiously as he notices Raphael sitting beside him. "Shouldn't you be with Gabriel now? You have all your grace together now right?"

            "I'm just waiting for you to come down." He replies patting her head. "I can't leave you alone and defenseless like this."

            "Pffft. Defenseless." Helel lifts his arm slowly as if weight were attatched, and rotates his wrist to draw attention to it. "That's what you think." Raphael gives a slight smile and touches the smooth scarred band of flesh.  As much as he hates to admit it, Helel putting his wrists into holy fire to undo the binding was an incredibly hardcore act.

            "Your resilience and ingenuity have always been fairly impressive." He confesses quietly. "Though mostly irritating, infuriating and grossly missapplied."

            "Right back at'cha, paseh." The punch to Raphael's arm is entirely lacking in force, though it wasn't exactly meant to have any. Helel's nodded off again.

            "She's still kind of out of it, huh," Raphael looks over to see Alex at the door. Her fingers brush through her hair, moving it out of her face. How can such a simple action suddenly become the center of the universe? If this is anything like what Michael was feeling, no wonder he was frustrated by Raphael's responses.

            "He's in and out." He looks back to his sleeping sibling so he doesn't have to keep noticing Alex. It doesn't help as much as he thought it would.

            "I didn't think she'd actually give your grace back to you." He can see her tug on the hem of her shirt the way she does when she's uncomfortable. Obviously she doesn't want to be talking to him so there must be some reason for it.

            "Do you need something?" That came out much more unfreindly than he intended it to, but what does it matter. They're not friends. They're not anything. She's just a kind person tending to broken angels.

            "No," she crosses her arms, "Maybe. Not need exactly.... I'm going to the seven eleven to get something processed, unhealthy and completely deliciously satisfying in every way. Do you want anything? Chips? mints? Nachos? Soda?"

            "No." That's what she's talking to him about? Asking about snacks? Why would he want any of those? And at this time of night? "Isn't it a little late to be going out?"

            "It's right at the corner. Besides, no ones out this late, not at this time of year. Not if they have a choice." As if it's the people with an abundance of choices who are the danger. "I just need a treat and thought you might need one too." She says this so flippantly as if she doesn't even remember what happened to Michael and Helel when they were out this late.

            "I'll bake you something." She looks a bit surprised at the offer, though she does know he can cook. Gabriel taught him so of course it would involve desserts and decadent snacks of all kinds.

           "What? How?" Alex looks back as she hears Claire exclaim from the living room. "Why didn't you call me or tell me or something?.... I don't care! I'm pretty sure the fact there's a new weapon that can hurt an archangel is a fairly important thing for hunters to know!"

           "What's wrong? What's happened?" Alex rushes out. Raphael quickly follows her. If something can harm an archangel there's only one currently available for that to have been tested on.

           "What happened to Castiel?" he demands, "Where is he?" Claire holds up a finger and looks over to where the obsidian knife is drying on the counter next to the sink. "It wouldn't happen to have an ornately carved green handle, would it? With the chip right on the tip?... That motherfucker." She grabs the knife.

           "Claire! Wait! Where are you?" Raphael can hear Dean shout as she clicks off the phone.  Claire starts to stride purposefully towards the bedroom,but Alex blocks her way.

           "Claire, stop, what are you doing?" She holds out her hands. Raphael looks over to Krissy who's just as confused as they are, but not willing to take a step against her partner.

           "What I should have done back in the goddamn hospital. Now move." She shoves Alex to the side where Krissy quickly takes hold of her.

           "Don't." Raphael blocks the hallway in front of the bedroom. "I don't know what you think he did, but...."

           "Get out of my way, Raphael. I have no love for you either and if I have to, I will take you the fuck down." She gives him the coldest glare, one she didn't have earlier.

           "What happened to Castiel?"

           "As if you care." She snaps. "The both of you each killed him once already. Or did you think I wouldn't find out about that."

           "No, it's fairly common knowledge." Raphael frowns. Claire just turns a little red at his statement, as if she didn't know. "I know we've had our differences, but we've moved past it, Claire. He's my brother. We made amends." 

          "Well, that's great, but it doesn't really address anything else does it? Or did it not even register? Was he just... collateral damage? Do you even know his name?"

          "What are you talking about, Claire?" Krissy frowns, still holding onto Alex.

          "Page hundred and seventeen, Lucifer Rising. That's what I'm talking about."  Claire takes out some torn out paperback pages from her pocket. "You killed Castiel, just disintegrated him, and his vessel. That's what I'm talking about.  A vessel requires a certain structural integrity." She crumples the pages and throws them at him, but Raphael still isn't sure what she's upset about.

          "Castiel's vessel was her father, Jimmy Novak." Alex says quietly. A horrible sinking feeling pulls at his insides.

          "I'm sorry." Is all he can say, though he knows it won't be enough.

          "Hey, pookie. Not the best time." Raphael hears Helel say sleepily from behind him.

          "Hello, darling." A familiar voice causes him to turn to look. "Sorry, I'm late." Crowley, of all creatures is at the side of the bed, giving a barely sitting Helel a tolerated kiss on the cheek.

          "What.." Raphael starts his question when a sudden blow to his chest drives out all the air from his lungs and sends him to his hands and knees.

          "You little bitch." This angry yet slightly slurred declaration uttered as he gasps for breath, is followed by a kick to his jaw that makes everything fade out for a few breif seconds.

          "Claire!" he can hear Alex yell and a thud as Claire's body hits the ground. "You bastard." He can see Alex's hand grab the knife. No...

          "No, no, we like that one." he hears Helel say quickly.  There's a bright light, one of his siblings on his way.

          "And that's our cue, angel cakes." Crowley.... what's he doing with crowley.

          "Claire, can you hear me? Speak to me! Claire!"

           "It's alright." Raphael hears Krissy's voice say calmly. Raphael slowly gets back up to his hands and knees, his chest aching from a very well executed hit to the solar plexus, probably with her elbow. "This one's easy. Thanks for hanging back, Claire."

            "Hey, Hara." Claire says weakly. "Nice resurrction."

            "Raphael!" Her voice is almost joyful as she rushes to her brother and helps him to his feet, healing him with a touch. Raphael can feel his cheeks burn as he realizes he was taken down in two blows from Claire Novak. As deserved as it was, for one of the fledgelings he once trained to see the results is a bit embarrassing. He should have seen the attack coming, but Crowley? "Oh, brother, we've all been so worried. We've been scouring the earth for you. What happened? And to your grace?" She looks as if she wants to hug him, but resists. She always was an affectionate angel.

            "It's a long story." He pats her head a bit awkwardly which she takes a license to just go ahead and embrace him.  "But it's alright. I'm alright."

            "He's working with Lucifer, Hara." Claire rubs her neck. Alex just gives her an incredulous look, though her statement is more misleading than false. "I know you're crushing on him big time, Alex, but enough is enough."

             "Don't be absurd." The statement at least does get her to let go and turn away from him, giving him her back in a blatant show of trust. "Raphael would never do such a thing."

              "Things are a bit complicated at the moment." He says gently touching her shoulder. "Take me to Castiel and I'm sure we can clear everything up."

              "Castiel is in heaven. I... If you've been helping Lucifer... you'll have to be questioned." She says almost apologeticly.

              "He's been helping me." Raphael knows how foolish it sounds as he says it, and barely believes it himself.  "He's not the one who hurt me. He rescued me, Harahel."

              "I'm so sorry, brother." Harahel looks almost heart broken as she reaches for him, but she vanishes in a flash, leaving him behind. He looks across the way to see Alex with her bloody hand on a banishing sigil on the bathroom door, the obsidian dagger still in her other hand.

              "Get out of my apartment." She says angrily, getting to her feet just as Claire does.

              "Alex, think about this for just one damn minute. Are you seriously going to side with Lucifer? The fucking devil?"

              "No, Claire, I'm siding with Raphael. Now get the hell away from us."

              "He killed my father, Alex. And so, what? Because you've fallen for him, that doesn't mean anything? I don't mean anything to you anymore? I thought we were sisters."

              "Alex..." Raphael starts to tell her to just let him go, but Claire cuts him off.

              "You've done enough, you... murderous wingless dick! So just shut it!" Alex takes advantage of her distraction to punch Claire as hard as she can, sending her to the floor.

              "C'mon." She grabs keys from Claire's pocket and two jackets from her closet, tossing one to Raphael. "We need to get the hell out of here before Harahel comes back, and with reinforcements."

 

               Raphael just sits on the edge of the hotel bed. She was right. He didn't even think about Castiel's vessel. What did it matter? The man did right by allowing Castiel use of his body, and so he was allowed in heaven. He thought that was all that mattered when he thought about vessels at all. James Novak didn't matter to him at all. He didn't register as anything, not even enough to remember his name when confronted with his daughter.  Even the first time he met her, he knew she was a vessel and he knew she'd once held Castiel, but he didn't bother to register the connection between her and Castiel's body. They weren't together at the time, but that was no excuse. How long ago was that? How young must she have been when he took her father away from her? And why was Castiel resurrected but not the man who gave his body to him? Not that it mitigates his culpability any, but would it have?

               "Hey." Alex. How can she have stood by him after that? She kneels down on the floor before him, looking up to try and catch his eyes, almost hidden behind his hands. "How are you doing?"

              "I'm sorry. I never should have come to you." He closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see hers. He doesn't want to see when the compassion fades into hurt and condemnation as it should have from the start. "I never wanted to come between you and Claire. I didn't realize what I'd done to her."

              "I figured you didn't. I wasn't sure if she knew or not. She was really pissy about you when you were first brought back so I assumed she did, but I guess it was just about your other history with Castiel. I couldn't talk to her about it because it was something I realized from our sessions. I... it's not okay, but..." Even she doesn't know what she can say about it to make it even remotely acceptable. "That one thing isn't everything you are. Besides, this whole thing only came to a head because of my stupid love life. Look, everything will be okay, Raphael. We'll just... lay low until we can get Bree to help clear things up about Lucifer. Or Castiel, that's all. And we'll figure out something to do about Claire later."

               He can't really say anything to that. As terrible at it is, Claire's pain, while providing the sharpest knife of guilt in his essense, is the least of his problems. Helel is involved with Crowley.  Crowley? Is that how he got the knife? What did he do? And why didn't Raphael even ask about where he got the damn knife or how? Because he was too distracted by his own emotions and desires. Because he somehow trusts Helel now, or maybe he just didn't want to know. It's hard to tell. All these feelings and needs blur together until it's hard to tell which is which.

               And then the look on Harahel's face.... They'll all just think he's been hopelessly decieved at best and those who would question him... he can feel his shoulders start to tremble and it gets hard to breathe at the thought. And you can't retreat into your own mind from the pain because they're there as well. Doesn't he know? Didn't he teach them how? Is what he's done and allowed done in Heaven all that much different from what his brother had done with Hell? And to his own siblings. She should know. She should know everything he's done so she can finally turn away from him before it's too late to salvage her life and her family. How could he have let her flee with him.

              "Alex, Did I ever tell you about when we fought the leviathan in the first Days? Herding them into purgatory?"

              "No." she sits back looking so rapt with attention, so interested. Could she really have feelings for him like Claire said? Though she used the phrase fallen for. Fallen. He can't bring her down with him. She has to know what he did.

              "It was the first real battle any of the little ones had ever been in. We lost so many to them, hundreds. though now I know the losses were miraculously minimal, Gabriel saved at least four hundred, pulling out the wounded, snatching them even from their jaws if necessary.  She pulled out at least a thousand, but they all went back as soon as they were healed and most didn't return.  In the end there wasn't anyone who hasn't lost an angel they were close to and dearly loved. the pain and greif were often so intense that the rit zien had to be confined so they didn't try to end the seemingly endless suffering.

              "The very name of a lost one was enough to cause pain. I didn't know what to do. It had been so hard for me to deal with the fledgelings we lost. Their brother were too young to really register it at the time, and the babes lost were just fleeting whisps of memory. But these brothers, however were freinds and sparring partners, training together for thousands of years worth of time. Can you imagine the sense of loss they felt?"

              "No," she says softly.

              "I wished they could just forget these brothers like they'd forgotten the others and stop hurting. And the thing is that I knew how to make that happen. I know how my brothers work. And so when one tried to end his pain, by taking his own life, I stopped him and took away his memories instead. And I taught other angels how to do so as well. How to go into another angel's mind and bury things so deep they were essentially erased and couldn't hurt them anymore.

              "It started out voluntary. It didn't end that way. It started as a way to save them from their own pain, but it didn't end that way, either."

              "Raphael... " Alex starts to reassure him but it's too soon, she hasn't even heard half of it.

              "No, please, Alex, you have to listen. Just listen to me." And she does, to every single detail, every step of the way. Everything he did, condoned, ignored, all in the name of heaven while their father did nothing but try and direct humanity to the path it should go. How he just took that to mean he was right in what he was doing, though he knew deep down that it couldn't be. Everything just kept breaking around him and he couldn't fix it. Sometimes it was as if he just made it worse.

                Even when they won the war, finally, nothing got better. He remembers it was the same day the nazarite was sacrificed on the cross. His father's final attempt to bring his children back to him, all of them, with his own incarnation offering forgiveness, spilling his own blood to put paid to all the blood spilled before and end the fighting once and for all. But forgiveness, reconciliation, was thrown back in his face by the one he loved most. So the last battle was fought as their father's mortal body died and he returned to them, And Lucifer was finally defeated and caged.

                That's when their father disappeared, as Gabriel had disappeared so long ago when the war began. There was nothing but pain and loss and waiting, preparing for the day when Lucifer would be released and the apocalypse would begin. They were promised peace after that very last war. It would be the end of pain and heartache that were all that seemed to be left as everything numbed and festered in their father's absence. And finally nothing else seemed to matter except getting to that promised end no matter what.

               Then suddenly, it was all taken away. Lucifer was recaged and Michael taken with him. Gabriel was dead, their Father was still gone and Raphael was left all alone. The rest they'd already talked about. How he tried to set things back on course, though every sign pointed to this being the way it was supposed to be. He didn't care. At that point all that mattered was saving Michael from a fate he didn't deserve and he didn't care what he sacrificed to get him back.

              Alex just listens to it all, her hand gently stroking his arm, trying to silently comfort him as he speaks.

             "The angels that are left. They're all the ones who sided against me. Castiel killed all my supporters when he ascended. Many of them forgave me for what I've done and welcomed me back when Gabriel retrieved me from the abyss. But many of them haven't. Many of those questioning were once questioned and those correcting were once corrected. If they think I've fallen, truly fallen, and they'll be quick to believe it, they'll have no mercy on me and more importantly they may have no mercy on anyone helping me. You should go back, tell them everything you know even what I told you in confidence if you have to, and just go back to your life and your family."

             Much to his consternation she smiles at him.

             "Do you really think the people who love you would ever let any one in heaven do that to you or anyone helping you? Regardless of what you or anyone thinks you deserve? Castiel and Gabriel don't allow that sort of thing and have made it very clear. I know it seems hopeless. You're confused and afraid and doubting yourself." She's still smiling at him. It gives him mixed feelings.

             "And that makes you smile?"

             "No. It's just that it's so you, that's all. I'm sorry. I'm just so happy you're talking to me right now." She covers her face with her free hand. "That didn't... Raphael, all of that, it's not who you are, not all of who you are. And if you think anyone could have done much better than you did in your position, with what you endured, what you felt, what you knew, how much pain you were in, you're mistaken. Every single one of them has done terrible things they thought were right, or didn't think wrong enough not to do."

              "I was wrong, horribly wrong, so many times, so many ways, I hurt people that didn't deserve it and that I never intended to like Claire."

              "I know. But I have faith in you. I have faith in the kind, thoughtful, empathetic, caring angel that I know. I have faith in your intellect and compassion and understanding. I know how much you hurt and how hopeless it seems, how the weight of all you've done has pressed upon your shoulders until you think it can never come off, but I have faith that you'll make it through, and make things right somehow, even if you don't. And if you think for a second that I am going anywhere while you still need me in any way, you've got another thing coming."

              "Thank you." Is all he can bring himself to say to this, though it's not enough. Not with the warmth and love and gratitude her words fill him with. Not nearly enough.

              "Any time." Alex gets to her feet and kisses his forehead, thoughtlessly causing his heart to race. "Get some sleep, you'll feel better in the morning. And we'll see about getting this taken care of."

              "Alex..." he catches her hand, but he doesn't have any idea what he wants to say. He wants her to sit with him, talk with him, touch his hand, smile at him again, laugh with him, kiss him, caress him, love him. Nothing else at this moment could possibly be enough. "Won't you lie with me?" He knows it was a mistake the moment he says it. It's clear from the blush on her cheeks how wrong it was to ask, how inappropriate. What could ever have possessed him to...

              "Yes."

 

            When Alex wakes she's not surprised to find a bajillion missed calls on her phone, mostly from claire, some from Jody and several from Lucifer, obviously for Raphael. There are almost as many texts.

Jody: Claire called. What's going on? Call me.

Jody:  Are you alright? If you don't reply I'm assuming you're kidnapped, or killed or dying in a ditch somewhere

Jody:  I know you're not in league with satan, Alex, so just come home so we can sort this out. I promise I'm not mad.

Claire: you are in over your head, Alex. you need to get the hell away from this before you get hurt.

Claire: he's working with lucifer why are you trusting him? nobody's that good in bed

Claire: do you WANT to go to hell? Because aiding the devil and his allies is a great way to do it.

Lucifer: lots of enochian she can't understand at all with a 'paseh' thrown in

Lucifer: More enochian -Michael- even more enochian       

Lucifer: Take care of my little brother

    

            Alex quickly sends a text reassuring Jody that she's alright. She's not in league with satan but no she's not coming back yet. Then one to Claire telling her to go fuck herself and that she doesn't know what she's talking about and anyways he's already died for his crimes, he shouldn't have to again. The next one tells her where Alex parked her car and where she mailed the spark plugs and distributor caps.

            "Good morning." Raphael kisses her neck, and tightens his grip around her waist for a moment. Though it's well into the afternoon. She's glad she paid for two days in advance.

            "Good morning." She turns around, still in his arms, and gives him a kiss that turns into several more until he's making love to her again with all the tenderness and care he did the night before.  It's not until its over and he rests his cheek blissfully against hers whispering a short verse in enochian, that she even remembers what she wanted to say. "Lucifer sent you some messages."  Because it could be important and if she doesn't say it now they'll probably forget again very shortly.

             "I see." She regrets losing the weight of him as he takes the phone and moves to the side. It still takes him a minute to bring himself to read it. "He says he's trading the throne for assistance. That Castiel will be fine and he didn't hurt him, but until he's better I should go straight to Gabriel and do what I can to help her, even if I can't get the grace out of the rock yet. He's going to try and retrieve Michael."  But he doesn't sound relieved at any of this. In truth it's hard to know what to think of it.

            "Can she? Bring Michael back?"

            "He's the only one who can, but not without Michael's grace and Dean Winchester was entrusted with it."Raphael puts the phone down. "Not on his person of course. That's be so stupid and careless, I'd have had to kill him and scatter his remains on general principles alone. But somewhere and if anyone would know how to secure it, he and Sam and Gabriel combined, certainly would. Hopefully it's not the same place as Lucifer's grace, or Gabriel's."

             "Does she know that she needs it?"

             "I don't know."

             "Are you going to tell her who has it?" Alex turns onto her side, propping her hand up on her elbow.

             "I don't know. What if I'm wrong about him? And even if I'm not he's working with Crowley. That never ends well. I would never trust crowley with even partial access to Michael's grace. Not that Helel would, but at the moment Crowley is far more powerful than he is."

             "Well, if it's any consolation, I'm fairly sure she can outsmart him. I mean, she is the devil, that's what she does." Alex takes his hand, but she knows it's kind of a double edged kind of truth.

             "Do you think I've been deceived?"

             "I don't know." She has to admit. "I don't. But if you are, you won't be for long. You haven't exactly done anything wrong so far either way. We'll talk to Bree and see if it's safe to go see her or if we need Castiel to step in."

             "You should stay here, out of harms way." Raphael brushes her hair back behind her ear. Alex just smiles.

             "Not a chance."     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters have a really bad habit of withholding important information from their loved ones. Especially if they think knowing it might be hurtful or harmful or lead to them doing stupid and dangerous things. Sometimes they just don't talk about things because they're painful or uncomfortable. So while Claire knew what happened to her father generally, there was never really a good time or way or reason to mention the particulars. When Gabriel brought back Raphael, it was decided that it definitely shouldn't be brought up. As you can see that ended up being a bad decision.


	47. The Black Dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire falls into bad company  
> Dean tries to figure out what's going on  
> Gabriel and Luci make up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fyi I do try and look up city names and hospital names and languages and use real places and stuff. I love google. I'd never have the patience to do this otherwise. Of course the real souix falls is a bit bigger than the small town on the show. Oh well.
> 
> Also one of the archangel Gabriel's titles in angel lore is 'the high preistess' though the real reason for the nickname is in another fiction I'm doing that takes place between season 11 and this. Hopefully I'll start putting that up soon.

          "If you'd have just stopped to listen for one goddamn minute, Claire, instead of jumping to conclusions I could have told you that Lucifer actually though admittedly unbelievably, saved both me and Castiel from those demons. And what's more, how the hell could you find out where Lucifer was and not tell us? Regardless of anything else, you had no business facing him alone. What were you thinking?" Dean demands, pointing that stupid finger of his in full lecture mode, as if she were still a child. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

          "How about 'Fuck You', Dean? " She smacks his hand away. Harahel-in-krissy gives a slight gasp, her eyes widening.  Yeah, because the Disney princess here is just so intimidating.

          "You could have been killed, Claire." He sounds so concerned. "You could have gotten Krissy killed or Alex."

          "She was dead for a moment." Hara the unhelpful suck up just has to add. Claire ignores her, though Dean turns pale. As if death is really anything more than an inconvenience now.

          "Oh now you're concerned for Krissy and me. Do I have to remind you who sent me to help those two bastards the first time?"

          "I know who sent you." He says curtly, looking pissed, though not at her. Castiel, of course, but still Dean was the one who made the call.

          "You sent us to help my father's murderer so you can take your stupid lectures and shove them up your ass!" Harahel clutches warningly at Claire's jacket, but she brushes the idiot off. "When were you going to tell me? Any of you!"

          "Claire... I'm sorry. I... we didn't think. And we needed Raphael to reopen heaven. You want him to pay? He's paid. He lost everything, including his life. You want him to suffer, he's suffering. I'm not saying what happened was okay, but things are so different now..."  Listen to him. He can't even believe his own justifications.

          "I'll say. He's working with Lucifer now. For all you know he always was." Claire informs him. Dean just raises a skeptical eyebrow, as if he thinks she's just.. over reacting or grasping at straws. "Oh, come on. He helped free him, didn't he?" Dean just opens his mouth a second and shakes his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose trying to think of a decent response. But there isn't any because she's fucking right.

          "He was trying to help bring about his death, Claire. Raphael was firmly on Michael's side. There is absolutely no question about that." The new angel, Atriel corrects her. "He and Lucifer hated each other. They always did."

          "Did they? I've got to say they looked pretty damn cozy to me. It would be a hell of a cover too, wouldn't it? Having your greatest ally pose as your sworn enemy?" The angels look a bit doubtful. "Or do you really believe it's more likely that Lucifer's been reformed?"

           "You know, it's not one or the other, Raphael being Lucifer's willing ally or Lucifer being reformed. There's a hell of a lot of area in between that's a lot more likely than either of those things." Sure, now Deans seeing shades of gray. "You're letting your personal feelings cloud your judgement. You need to just step back and stay out of this before you get somebody killed." Dean Winchester of all people has the nerve to say this to her.

          "Stay out of this? He killed my father and Castiel if I may remind you, though only one of them came back. And now he's allied with the fucking devil!"

          "He's not.." Dean starts to argue as if he knows Raphael so well, or Castiel does. As if Castiel's not the most naïve, trusting stupid angel alive.

          "She let him cut her the fuck open and pull out that jade grace thing. You don't let an enemy do that. And now that bastard Raphael has stolen my car and taken off with Alex just to avoid being questioned. Does that sound like the actions of an innocent man to you?"

          "Given that he's just had his first experience in a fully human body being tortured by pagans for maybe months, I'd say that wanting to avoid Heaven's persuasion is a fairly reasonable desire, regardless." Dean gives the angels sharp looks. They look away a bit uncomfortably. "You don't have all the information, Claire."

          "I never do, do I? You know what? Fuck this, I'm done. I'm done with you, with Castiel and all the fucking angels in the world! So all of you can just kiss my ass!" Claire storms out of the apartment, leaving a rather hurt Harahel behind. Well, screw her, she probably knew about that, too. And if she knew, Krissy knew, so fuck her too.

          "No, just let her blow off some steam." She can hear Dean say as she goes down the stairs.  Blow off some steam. She's tired of it. Tired of all the secrets and lies. Why did she ever trust them? It's always the same. Some new chaos, some new disaster, some new storm that blows in and tears her world apart.

           And now Alex is caught up in it. Seduced by that... junior devil. he chose the right time, didn't he? Claire's phone is ringing but there's no one she'd care to talk to right now, so she just shuts it off. It's cold as hell outside and her winter jacket is in the damn car. If the heater wasn't broken on permanent high or nothing... She'll probably have to hitchhike to the nearest motel, or just call Jody or something. But Jody would probably have a few more things to say about letting Alex get so far in to this mess. She should never have promised not to turn them in. She should have just called for back up or shot them both the second she came through that fucking door.

           "Ms. Novak." A strangely accented voice calls to her from across the street. Claire puts a hand to her gun and turn towards it.  There's a man standing on the sidewalk with ornate sandals, feathered accessories and a decorated loin cloth. He looks similar to Raphael's new body in truth and not a little familiar.

           "Do I know you?" She frowns trying to place him. He doesn't look the least cold either, though by all rights he should be freezing. There are no goose bumps on his arms and his breath isn't even visible like hers is. Is he even breathing? It sort of looks that way.

           "We have met, briefly." he smiles, "We share a mutual friend, Huehuecoyotl... Gabriel."

           "Bree?" Clair feels a bit surprised, but realizes he shouldn't be. He's obviously some sort of pagan god.

           "She entrusted me with her heart for a time?" He tries to jog her memory. That's it.

           "Oh, Que... quets... I don't want to call you what she calls you, but I can't remember how to pronounce your name." She apologizes.

           "Quetzalcoatl. But Coa-coa's fine." he grins and crosses the empty street. "I'm glad I found you. I'm afraid I'm in desperate need of your help."

           "My help?" Claire can't help but feel skeptical. Sure she has a bit of a name in the supernatural community, but mostly as Hel's girlfriend, or Dean and Castiel's sort of daughter. Or even as Bree's best friend. Granted if she knew about this, that won't be true much longer.

           "I've tried to talk to Coyotl, but she just won't listen to me. She's still a little sore about my outing her to her husband." He gives a sheepish, almost apologetic smile and shrug.

           "That was kind of a dick move, Coa-coa." Claire crosses her arms. "That and stealing her boots."

           "That? That was just a joke. As for the former, all's fair in love and war, and despite my complete and utter failure to win her, my feelings for the coyote are as strong as they've ever been. I don't want anything to happen to her and that child in her womb."

           "Is Bree really in danger? Tell me." Claire demands, stepping closer to him keeping her hands near her weapons just in case.

           "It's her brothers. They're plotting to take back control of heaven. I tried to stop them when I found out, but I underestimated Lucifer. He killed my mother, Coatlicue. She was trying to talk some sense into him, the foolish woman. But you can't reason with a being of pure hatred. Granted you can't exactly reason with love either. Coyotl refuses to believe her beloved big brother, Raphael would ever betray her the way he has. Maybe you can get through to her, you are her best friend, aren't you? You sang together, fought together, she trusted you to help her enter the abyss. That has to mean more to her than some aborted love affair."

           "I thought I was." Claire looks down at the side walk, "But it seems she lied to me too."

           "She may not have known." Coa-coa attempts to reassure her. "She may not have even read those books. And even if she did, your father isn't really mentioned by name much, not in those passages. She was probably distracted from it by the fact it was one brother murdering the other. Even more personal that it would normally be as well, don't you think?"

           "That's true." Claire crosses her arms as the chill starts to penetrate her layers. "Was that you? Who left me those pages?"

           "I thought someone ought to tell you the truth. That's also why I'm approaching you. You of all people are owed retribution." He gives her a look that's understanding but not pitying. If anything it's cold clear promise of justice. "Will you help me?"

           "I'll do my best. What's going on? What do you need me to tell her?"

           "Lets go somewhere a bit more private. They're working with demons, you never know who's watching."

           "Alright, but I'm warning you. I'm a lot more dangerous than I look." she nods.

           "Yes, I remember," Quetzalcoatl smiles and touches her heart, taking her back to his temple.

 

           "No, I don't know where she got them." Krissy sighs, rubbing her temples. "She was reading them after she got back from the car while waiting for you to call back. I didn't ask her about it because she looked kind of upset and it's better to wait a bit. But then you called and everything went to hell. She was flat out going to murder Lucy... I mean Lucifer, not that I can really say that's a bad thing. And was so close to just snapping and killing Raphael too, which, given the circumstance is kind of reasonable. A lot more reasonable than actually friggin helping them, honestly.

            "Then this demon shows up for Lucifer who's still doped out of his mind. Though he tried to go after Claire anyways when she attacked Raphael. The demon interfered, probably because Lucy would have gotten her ass handed to her, given how strung out she was. I think he killed Claire, though that was a little hazy as Alex had kind of thrown me when Claire attacked Raphael. I thought she was a scholar." Krissy frowns, trying to bring up the memories. It's like trying to zoom in on a photo when it's raining and water keeps dripping on the lens. "I called for Harahel as soon as I heard the demon, though. I think Lucifer stopped it from hurting Alex, actually. God, how deep in all this is that girl ?" Krissy shakes her head. She has definitely got it bad for that angel.

            "Did Lucifer take the knife?" Dean prods.

            "No, Alex had it last."

            "What about Raphael's grace? Did they take that?"

            "I don't think the demon took anything but Lucifer. Harahel said something to Raphael about having to be questioned. That's when Alex banished us. That hurts like hell by the way, both of us, though she took the brunt of it. It's like running into a glass window pane but instead of it shattering, you do. In case you weren't aware." Krissy winces at the memory, putting a hand to her chest.

            "I wasn't, but generally if you're in the position to have to banish an angel you have more pressing concerns than the comfort of their vessel. Honestly, unless the vessel is someone important to you, you don't generally think about them too much." Dean's voice grows quiet and he looks away, his hand covering his mouth. Well, that's hardly a comforting thought. At least Harahel has some basic respect for Krissy's right to her own body. Not like some horror stories she's heard. Krissy tries to call Claire again, but there's no answer. Alright. Time to bring in the girlfriend.

            "Hey, Hel," She says as soon as the call goes through.

            "Is Claire alright?" Is the immediate question, because honestly, when does Krissy really talk to the Norse goddess of the underworld? What else would they talk about?

            "Well, she died briefly tonight, but Harahel took care of that, no problem. I'm really calling because Claire's had a bit of a melt down. She found out that the archangel who's banging her sister is also the one that killed her father."

            "Say what now?" This seems to have gotten Dean's fast attention.

            "Sh-sh-shush," She waves him away. "I'm talking. I'm sorry, what was that?"

            "I'd better go find her then. Is Alex really sleeping with Raphael now?" Hel sounds almost amused.

            "I guess. She's in ethical crisis about it or something, because apparently they were doing peer counseling, or whatever. Claire's convinced he's seduced her to the dark side, because she's majorly on the rebound thanks to your idiot brother. She's also convinced Raphael's evil incarnate and not just a douche and a war criminal." Krissy gives Dean a look, daring him to argue that last one. "Though Harahel thinks that Raphael's just so vulnerable and disoriented by his humanity that with his already questionable ethics, Lucifer's been able to finally trick or deceive him. So yeah, Claire's a bit off the rails right now. So she probably needs some sugar so she can calm down and not do anything stupid. I mean, I know these lugheads lied to her and everything but they generally mean well and everythings always just so complicated."

            "I can understand that. We still haven't told Yuri the truth about our mom. Once you lie long enough, it can be kind of hard to stop." Hel sighs. "You take care. When I find her, I'll make sure to let you know she's okay."

            "Thanks, Hel. Have I told you how glad I am you two are finally back together?"

            "Yes, the last time she got into a mood. Bye, Kris. Thank you for letting me know about this."

            "No prob." Krissy hangs up and looks back to Dean, who's been waiting semi patiently for her to finish.

            "When did Raphael start sleeping with Alex?" Dean, the over protective big brother they never wanted demands. Krissy just rolls her eyes.

            "Yesterday, I guess." She shrugs. "They got high on coca leaves after a fight with Rhys' Valkyrie ex girlfriend and one thing lead to another."

            "I'm kind of afraid to ask more questions after that answer, though honestly..." Dean gets a sort of deer in the headlights look at the thought of people he once knew as young girls having an actual sex life. "Is she old enough to even drink yet?"

             "You do know that she was seeing Fenrisulfr for two years right?"

             "That doesn't mean they slept together." Denial is apparently a Winchester.

             "Seriously, dude?" She squints at him, looking for his common sense. "She's a big girl now. Claire isn't a virgin either, and neither am I. Hell, me and Harahel even had a threesome once. Or was it a foursome, it was with another occupied vessel we both liked. Full consent from all parties. That... was interesting."

             "Listen, young lady, I don't have to listen to that kind of talk from you." Dean the massive flaming hypocrite points to her as his phone rings. "Hello?... No, that's fine, speak away... a what? Black dog? Are you sure it's not just some stray?... no.. no you're right. what are you doing out by the hospital that late anyway?... What? No! Don't you dare bring her that!... No, it's not for a safe birth at all. She's trying to summon a damn demon. You should know those ingredients, Matt. You're having a test on it next week... Exactly!...I don't care how fucking scary she is. Tell her I threatened to kill you... fine then I will fucking kill you if you help Gabriel with anything ever again at least while she's carrying my niece inside her stomach, are we clear?... I know it's in her damn womb. I wasn't being literal. I will be there as soon as I can. Goodbye." He hangs up and proceeds to attempt to throttle the cheap phone. "What part of bedrest does that creature not understand?"

            "The part that involves not summoning demons, apparently." Krissy can't help but smirk. "Though really that's more of a general rule."

            "Friggin archangels, overgrown children all of them. Alright. I don't suppose Harahel's still in there and can give me and baby a lift back." He asks. Krissy just shakes her head. "Okay. I have to head back to Smith Center. Can I drop you off somewhere?"

            "No, I'm going to crash here for what's left of the night and try Claire again in the morning. Besides you never know, she or Alex might come back." She plops down on the comfier-than-the-back-of-Claire's-POS  couch.

            "Do you need me to stay then? Or call in some back up?"

            "Nah, I can call Harahel if I need to." Krissy shakes her head. Heavens library is slow enough for her to bolt down here pretty fast. And for her to want to. "You go deal with the high priestess over there."

            "Some one has to. Friggin Sam is just wrapped around her little finger. Making chicken runs in the middle of the damn night." Dean makes a face and heads to the door. "Take care, kid."

   

            Gabriel thinks she must hate the fetal monitor as much as Michele does. She's constantly being woken to have it adjusted or put back in place after Shelly kicks it off center. Or to have her blood pressure taken, because why should she sleep when she can be poked and prodded and monitored? And Shelly's so active it's hard to fall back to sleep. All she can do is walk back and forth a little dragging the iv along until she settles down.

             "You must be as bored as I am, huh, baby girl." She rubs her stomach. As she walks she starts to hear Lucifer's songs again. The guitar is finally back. For about a week it was all unaccompanied, but not anymore. he probably put it somewhere safe while he was rescuing Raphael. 'I want you to know' is followed by 'Dust in the wind' and then 'La vie en rose' and 'Speak Softly Love' are accompanied by the violin. As always the concert settles Shelly instantly. On impulse, she decides to let her brother know, not really expecting a return.

Gabriel: Shelly stops punching me when you sing.

Luci: Shelly?

Gabriel: It's a girl. Michele, in honor of Michael, but Shelly for short, in honor of Raphael

Luci: LOL

Gabriel: She hits like Michael, too. 

Luci: Like you would know.

Gabriel: I've seen enough to know at least a little. How are you?

Luci: Missing my favorite song, frustrated with attempting to turn a sows ear into a silk purse, bored. You?

Gabriel: Awake, Bored. they won't let me do anything fun. I wish you were here to visit and entertain me like you did after we put the Leviathan away. Do you remember that?

Luci: I do. I wish I was, too. I'm sorry, paseh. I hate your husband but he's hardly the worst thing you've done and I love you, so I think I'll let him live.

Gabriel: I know you saved Dean's life.

Luci: I apologize for that as well.

Gabriel: No, you ass, thank you. You could have healed Cassie though.

Luci: Yes and been immediately captured. It wasn't fatal and Raphael was getting his grace back shortly so I made the choice to leave him as he was.

Gabriel: While we're on the subject of yesterday afternoon. Are you romantically involved with Crowley?

Luci: No. It's purely a marriage of convenience.

Gabriel: Please be speaking figuratively.

Luci: I'm giving him my throne in exchange for help.

Gabriel: The throne of hell?

Luci: No the porcelain one.

Gabriel: No need to be snarky. Why?

Luci: You didn't really go into specifics, but I'm fairly sure reclaiming my position as king of hell is a parole violation.

Gabriel:  :D ROFL Kind of, yes.

Luci: Well, there you go.

Gabriel: Killing people was kind of on the list, too, Luce

Luci: It was self defense

Gabriel: You HAD to kill them? We both know you can wipe the floor with any human with ease.

Luci: I didn't try otherwise, but the ones who backed off lived. The other four chose to keep coming. Mutilating their corpses was a bit excessive but they really pissed me off.

Gabriel: I don't suppose you feel remorseful.

Luci: Not really. They did plan on beating raping and possibly murding me, Think murder and castration is enough of a sign I'm not interested or was I too subtle?

Gabriel: Next time please just maim or cripple them and not kill them.

Luci: Alright. For you, paseh. I've only killed the pagans torturing Raphael and demons otherwise, though. How's Shelly behaving now?

Gabriel: She's resumed attatcking the fetal monitor. It's because I sat down again and it's digging into my stomach. It's like she's a kitten with a ball of yarn,

Luci: Okay. Hold on.

Gabriel: Thank you. The Norse lullabye was cute. She seemed to like the german lyrics to Brahms lullabye better than the english. My little budding linguist.

Luci: You should get some sleep, too.

Gabriel: I know. I will eventually.

Luci: When Raphael gets there, you have to do whatever he tells you to do health wise.

Luci: I know you're rolling your eyes at me. I mean it, Gabriel, this is a very dangerous time for you. You can't play around right now.

Gabriel: No, I know, and I wasn't. Sorry. I was looking at something.

Luci: What?

Gabriel: I thought I saw a dog in the corner. It must have been a trick of the light or exhaustion or something.

Luci: A dog?

Gabriel: A xoloitzcuintles to be precise. Obviously there isn't one or Diniel or Phounebiel would see it. Castiel insists on two angels guarding me at all times.

Luci: I see my son does have some sense after all.

Gabriel:  You know he's not your son. You really should stop calling him that.

Luci: He's acended with my grace as an essential part of his being. That makes him my son.

Gabriel: Yes, well you're body is currently made from bits of both me and Sam. So by that logic he's your father now.

Luci: And I shall treat him with all the obedient deference I extended to my other one.

Gabriel: Please don't. I'm just saying, it really bother's Castiel so please stop calling him your son.

Luci: Paseh, you can't ask me to stop tormenting him. I am letting him live. That'll have to be enough.

Gabriel: You know, that imaginary dog kind of reminded me of Xolotl. Odd that I'm thinking about him now.

Luci: Who?

Gabriel: Aztec god. He was my f

Luci: Your what?

Luci: Paseh?

Luci: Gabriel?

Luci: Not funny, little girl

Luci: If you dropped the phone you'd better text me right back as soon as it's back on. I mean it.

 

      Sam's not sure whether it's the phone ringing or the alarms frantically blaring from the monitors that wake him. Gabriel's not in bed and the covers are half fallen on the floor.  Did she get up too fast and faint? Her blood pressure's been dangerously high, even with medication. He told her to wake him if she needed to move anywhere. But she's not on the floor. She's not anywhere.

       "Where is she?" The nurse rushes into the room, turning on the lights.

       "I don't know. I just woke up and she was..." His gaze falls on four tears in the sheet and mattress that look like claw marks. The lines to the fetal monitor and the other monitors they've been keeping on her have been cut through. The nurse checks the bathroom as Sam searches for his phone. There are several texts from Dean. One arriving as he look.

Dean: Claire found out about Raphael killing her father when he disintegrated Castiel Raphael and alex are now in the wind. Lucifer's with Crowlwy. Am driving back from souix falls be there in 5 hours

Dean: Keep an eye on the high preistess shes trying to sget the students to help her summon demons prob crowley

Dean: also matt said he saw a black dog outside the hospital. i think those are a night thing look into that since i wont be back before dawn

        "Sam?" he picks up immediately when Sam calls

        "Babe's gone. The monitors are cut, there are claw marks on the bed, she's just gone."

        "What? Where are her guards?"

        "I don't know. They hide in the veil during visiting hours."

        "Well find them. I'll look into the demon angle. If Crowleys working with Lucifer..."

        " Yeah." Sam lifts the half fallen blanket from the floor revealing a cell phone, punctured and broken in two places as if by nails.

         "Mr. Singer?" A security guard clears his throat, while another starts looking around.

         "I have to go, Dean. Securities here."

        "We'll find her, Sammy. I promise."


	48. Make new freinds and keep the old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire appeals to her girlfreind for help  
> Dean has to deal with mouthy angels  
> Gabriel finds herself someplace unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE NORWEIGIAN
> 
> aiskling: darling  
> kjaeleder: pet  
> Mein kjaerlighet: my love  
> drittsekke : asshole  
> jeg elsker deg, og: I love you, too
> 
> elgra: gabriel combing elgr, old norse for moose, with a feminizing modifier.  
>  
> 
> You have to admit, with everything Raphael's done, Claire's assessment doesn't really seem that far fetched. Lucifer isn't the only one with a past he'll have to live down. I guess the brothers have more in common than I originally thought.
> 
> Okay, another shameless plug for feedback. It's obviously going to be fairly serious for a bit, but not too, too serious I hope. Questions? Thoughts? Requests?

          Humans are so much trouble. And they're not worth it. They aren't. No matter how blue their eyes or bright their smile. And golden hair? Please, it's not that gold or that soft. So what if she's brave? There's no shortage of bravery in asgard. None at all. And she's so breakable. They're all so breakable. She never should have gotten involved with that child in the first place.

          And she's a child. A child! throwing a tantrum over what? A murder? Her father got involved in the affairs of angels. What did he expect? Mortals and the divine just trample each other to dust. All the time. Hearts and bodies, it never fails. He died in battle at least. Supporting a legend, facing an impossible foe for the sake of all humanity. All men should pray for such a death. But since when has Claire ever had the proper perspective on these sorts of things? Americans. They think they're right about everything.

          She's just stubborn. A stupid stubborn human brat more trouble than she's worth. Where could she be? The poor fragile thing... where did she go? Did they take her? Did they hurt her? If either of those angels laid a hand on her she will tear apart heaven and earth to avenge her. So what if they're her father's siblings. They'd have no right to her lover. Besides, they're mortal right now and she can best any mortal if need be.

           "Aiskling!" Hel is by Claire's side the instant she becomes visible on the streets of Soiux Falls again. "Darling, are you hurt?" She grabs the cold, blank face of her lover and kisses the last traces of tears away. Claire just folds into her arms, embracing her tightly. "It's alright, lover, it's alright, your Hela's here." And though she always protests when she does this, Hel whisks her back to her domain. "Tell me where it hurts, Aiskling."

           "I'm not hurt." she finally says after a dozen diagnostic kisses.

           "You're ice cold. Were you out in this weather with just this little jacket? You foolish girl. Come here, I'll warm you up."

           "Hel," Claire pushes away. "Bree's in danger. We don't have time to fool around."

           "Don't be silly, we always have time to.. wait, what do you mean father's in danger?"

            "Raphael's allied himself with Lucifer. They're trying to take over heaven."

            "Kjaeledyr, no, I know what he did to your father, but..."

            "What?" The look of betrayed hurt on her face makes Hel wince. That's not what she meant. She would never have kept that from her.

            "Krissy called." She clarifies, "But this happened on the feild of battle, sotnos. That conflict is over, the sides reconciled. It wasn't murder. It was just war. Aiskling, kjaeledyr, Claire... Don't let this poison your heart and wreck your judgement." her cheeks are so cold, even Hel's kisses can't seem to warm them up.

            "It's not just my judgement, Hel. And do you know what he's been doing? Healing and protecting Lucifer from everyone and everything. Do you know everything he's done?" As claire lists act after act, every atrocity committed in heaven's name, Hel feels herself shaken. when she mentions the devestation of the Americas and the destruction of the incan gods, Hel's heart sinks. It's all so damning.

            "But he loves my father. They're so close now. They have been since he brought him back. And apparently they always were fairly close. Not like he was with Lucifer at one point, but..." At this she can't say anymore.

            "And Lucifer loved her even as he killed her, didn't he? She was in his way just as they know she'll be in their way now. Hel, please, we have to do something. They're after heaven, Hela. Mein kjaerlighet, you have to believe me." Claire pleads, taking Hel's hands. Her hands are also fairly cold, so Hel takes them to her chest, rubbing them trying to warm them up.

             "How did you learn all of this? About the incas and the natives?" Hel asks, desperate for a reason to doubt her. If Raphael's turned against her father as well, he'll be devastated.

              "Quez... Quetz.... coa-coa."

              "Quetzalcoatl? That drittsekk? A jilted lover is hardly a reliable source, aiskling."

              "I'd agree if he was accusing Sam or something. But he's not, this is about Raphael. Besides you know he still has a thing for Bree. He's not going to want anything to happen to her."

               Hel shakes her head, kissing Claire's icy hands. Maybe her uncle did regrettable things during the conflicts and in preparation for them, but to be on Lucifer's side is just unthinkable. And seductive is not exactly how she'd ever discribe Raphael. Prickly, defensive, sarcastic asshole, stand offish, unfreindly. Cute yes, but not that cute. And besides she didn't think Alex liked girls.

              "Are you sure he and Alex are really lovers? I didn't know she went that way, we could have tried for a threesome." Hel teases just for the cute annoyed look Claire gives her.

             "She doesn't. He's got a nice new vessel that even you'd want to try, and they can't seem to keep their hands off each other, so if not, I'm sure they will be very soon."

            "I don't know, she managed to keep Rhys at bay for well over a year."

            "Yeah, but she'd never done it before. Plus Bree kept interrupting them accidentally on purpose, to make sure he wasn't just playing with her. I love Alex, but she's not exactly that saavy when it comes to men. And now he's taken off with her god knows where or why. The angels are after them now and I don't know what will happen to her when they rejoin Lucifer and his demons."

              "We'll find them, aiskling. I promise. Let me get Rhys to tend to Helheim and we'll go search for them after we talk to my father. But first, you are going to go to sleep and warm up."

               "Hel..." She's going to argue again, because she refuses to accept that she's mortal and needs things like food and sleep.

               "You're no good to anyone frozen and exhausted. I will make enquiries while you rest. I promise. Everything will be alright."

               "You know you can't promise something like that." Claire finally gives a small, smile, accepting another embrace, and more warming kisses.

               "Of course I can, I'm a goddess, and I love you."

               "Jeg elsker deg, og, Hela. But I'm not tired." Her darling mortal heart is warm even if her body isn't. Stubborn thing. She'll just have to exhaust her. Claire does not object.

 

             "We don't answer to you, Winchester." Phonybill or however you say his damn name says cooly, though he and Diniel look embarrassed and not a little distraught.

             "You don't think so, do you?" Dean grabs him by the ridiculous tie die t-shirt and collar. "Let me tell you something. These children you're wearing are under my care and by taking possession of them you are absolutely under my command.

             "And even if that were not true, you are under mine." Castiel returns, placing his hand on Dean's shoulder partly to calm him, but maybe to steady himself as well.

             "Sir, you shouldn't have left the garden yet." Diniel looks worried and steps forwards as if to help support him, but a look makes him step back and just stand at attention.

             "What happened to Gabriel." Castiel demands. "And why weren't you at your posts?"

              "We don't know. We were watching from the veil and this mist just filled everything. I thought I heard something or saw something, and when I stepped forwards to look, there was nothing but an empty space." Diniel looks so confused by this.

               "When he disappeared, I just took one step towards him and the same happened. Then we were banished, not even to part of the earth, but far out in the solar system." P-man explains.

               "It was very disorienting." Diniel adds.

               "When we made it back and this.. man started yelling at us."

               "We don't know more than that."

               "You couldn't have called for back up?" Dean demands, refusing to accept this. What kind of guards are they? Some of these angels think just because they've survived everything so far that they always will.

               "I don't know what network you're using, but Billy's coverage doesn't extend to the rings of saturn." P-man mouths off. Why does he get the sassy ones?

               "You have your own network, douchebag." He reminds them.

               "There are issues with commication with distances that great." Castiel speaks up in their defense, though he's clearly not happier with the situation than he is. "It's almost impossible while maintaining a vessel in the vaccum of space. And by no means should they have abandoned the boys there. Returning home as quickly as possible was the best response."

                "What about before you went to investigate? When Diniel disappeared that should have been the first thing you did."

                "Where's Raphael." Castiel sighs interrupting the inevitable argument. Dean holds others to very high standards, not nearly as high as he holds himself, but it creates no end of conflict. "He informed me he had all of his grace back. It's still encased in Jadeite, but it's useable. He was supposed to be headed here shortly after he texted to stay with Gabriel while I regained my strength." Dean winces as this must have been before the incident with Claire. "Dean? What's happened?"

                 "Can you two give us a minute?" he asks the former guards who step away, and escorts Castiel to the couch. "There's been a bit of a complication."

 

                 Gabriel opens her eyes to a rather plushly furnished room with no windows and one open doorway. The decorations are a bit eclectic. There are decorative swords on the wall with bone handles, a few jade and obsidian sacrificial knives. There are a few old balls. A guns'n'roses woven tapestry is on the opposite wall. On the floor is a round gold shag carpeting on black marble floors, which surrounds the pillow top posturepedic bed with adjustible back and legs she finds herself in. There are some dog and coyote figurines around the room as well. Some black and gold plushies, dogs of course. There's even a gumball machine in the corner with nothing but black red and yellow gumballs.

                 The fetal monitor and other monitors are in a tangled mess in a clay jar beside her bed. She's not bound or confined or anything, but given how dizzy she's been lately, she's not entirely comfortable exploring. At least they left her, her prosthetic leg.

                  "Hello." A... person walks into the room with a tray of food. What language is that? She knows it but can't remember the name. So many languages and such a small mortal brain. And a generally exhausted one at that. Being pregnant with Slepneir wasn't nearly this difficult on her body. The constant headaches don't help either.

                  "Hello." she greets the person back. Is it a woman? A man? It's hard to tell in that tunic. There's no beard,only a little fuzz above the ip, but that doesn't mean anything. He is rather striking, though.

                 "This tea will help calm your blood." The person informs her. "You're not required to stay abed, but if you wish to move about please ring for me and I will escort you to ensure you do not fall." he offers her the tea, but not being made yesterday, Gabriel makes no move to take it. The person just raises her eyebrows in exhasperation and puts it back.

                  "Who are you? Why have you brought me here?"

                  "I have done nothing. And I am no one of importance. My lord will attend you soon." he turns to go. Not seeing a weapon on him, Gabriel grabs his arm, but her fingers pass through his wrist. The person stops and turns to him. "Don't touch me again." he says cooly and continues out. Gabriel feels a breif chill and watches him leave.

                  There's no door, no locks, no guards that she can see, human or otherwise. Though that's the key phrase. That she can see. Gabriel puts the tray of food and drink aside and gets slowly to her feet. Michele gives her a reassuring kick, and squirms around a bit before settling down.

                  "Okay, elgra, go easy on mamma. She's been kidnapped and doesn't need bruises from you in the bargain." She rubs her stomach and reaches for the most practically made knife on the wall.

                  "None of those work on the dead, silly coyote." She hears behind her and turns to see a familiar dark, small sickly looking man with backwards feet standing behind her.

                  "Xolotl?" She gapes.

                  "Welcome to Mictlan, Coyotl." he smiles and warms embraces her.

                  "I thought you were dead. Coa-coa said you were gone." She returns the hug with full enthusiasm. Not every dead god is sent to the abyss. some just fade out entirely. Of course some were ascended humans and it's impossible to tell which souls were theirs. You'd think godhood would leave a mark, but no.

                   "I was gone. Gone into hiding when the christian spaniards came. I hid in Mictlan as you suggested. I thought you had died, too. One of your brothers killed you, didn't he?" That's right, she did tell him to do that. But nobody ever listened to her about her family. Ever.

                   "Ah, who even stays dead anymore." She pats his back. "I know this is a silly question, but did you abduct me from my hospital bed?"  

                   "Don't be absurd. I rescued you and brought you to a secure location where you can get the treatment you need to survive this pregnancy." Ah, it figures.

                   "Xolly, I wasn't in danger." She sighs. "And you know you've sent all my freinds and family into an absolute panic. My husband especially."

                   "It's not like you to are about something like that." He scolds her right back. "You usually find that sort of chaos hillarious."

                   "Well, I've matured. A little. Besides you know I prefer jokes that don't involve the potential deaths of children, unborn or otherwise. Especially my own." She pats her stomach. Michele retaliates, violently.

                    "Oh, he's a feirce little warrior I see." Xolotl puts his hand on the last spot she hit so very visibly.

                    "She is. Michele this is your uncle Xolotl. He was mommy's best friend before Claire, way back in her Aztec days."

                    "I can't believe you're a woman. And pregnant. Who could possibly win your affections to that degree? Which god?  Do I know them?" he offers his arm and motions to a nice rocking chair in the corner.

                    "No, I'm afraid I've fallen for a human this time." She confesses. Xolotl starts laughing almost so hard he falls down. "I'm not joking."

                    "I know. That's why It's so funny. I knew it. I knew you were a homophile."

                    "The term is omnisexual and yes, I've kind of settle down. I'm a one moose woman these days."

                    "I thought you said he was human." This just makes Gabriel laugh as she sits down on the rocker.

                     "If you have my phone I could show you pictures. He's enormous. his hand will like cover my entire face." And of course, Xolotl would try and make the comparison with his own hand. "He's at least a foot and a half taller than me. It makes things incredibly interesting in bed. And yes, he's fairly proportional."

                     "You do like them big, I noticed. Wait, was that the behemoth asleep on the sofa? I thought he was a giant or something. I didn't realize humans came that large." Xolotle's eyes widen.

                     "Yep, that's my sampaquita. Look, I know he's worried sick. This is his first child and you can see the pregnancy is not going easy on me. Can you at least let him know I'm alright if nothing else?"

                     "No." Xolotl shakes his head. "You're not alright. And it's not safe to let anyone know anything about you or where you are right now."

                     "Why not? What's going on, Xolly?"

                     "Nothing you can do anything about, but stay safe and healthy and keep that little pup safe as well." He leans over and kisses her cheek. "I have missed you my dearest, only freind."

                  "Xolly...." She starts to try and reason with him but he shushes her with a finger on her mouth.

                   "There's nothing more to be said about this. You'll just have to trust me. Eat, drink, rest. Let my spouse Meli tend to you. The child is my greatest treasure. now, I have business to attend to, mictlan does not govern itself." he tweaks her nose and vanishes into mist.

                 Well at least she knows the food is safe to eat. This is not going to end well, though. They'll never erst until they get her back. Her brothers, her husband, Dean. They'll wreck havok on Mictlan, and likely on Xolly as well. When he comes back she'll try and talk some sense into him again. Maybe try and get him to explain a little more.

               It won't be easy. Xolotl has always been very secretive, keeping the confidences of the dead that he learned as he walked them to Mictlan. And what does he mean govern Mictlan? That's Mizthanlcuhtlie's job. Ooo, him and his spiders. Hopefully he doens't know she's herea. That's the last thing she needs. Of course so many of them died when their worshippers were no longer there to sacrifice to them. They were such hungry gods, and proud. The few that adapted fell pray to hunters. It makes sense that those like Xolly, who weren't exactly revered and worshipped, just acknowledged as neccessary would be the ones who survived. 

               She never would have suspected Xolotl. The room is far too clean. Oh, they had some great times together. the trickster and the god of misfortune?It was always a riot even if it so rarely ended well for her. of course his little lessons for humanity usually ended in war and chaos because some people are just more determined not to learn than others. Of course, she was probably going about it the wrong way like she so often seemed to. Culture shock probably. Or a fundamental lack of understanding of human nature caused by the fact that she hadn't actually been human before back then. You can know and yet know understand and that makes all the difference. It really does.

               "My lord wishes me to help you bathe and dress." The person comes back in, not looking thrilled about any of this it seems. What did xolly say his name was?

                "Meli?" the person looks a little startled. "Xolly told me your name." The look on his face at the nickname is almost venemous. "You're not aztec are you?"

               "No."

                "Then what are you doing in Mictlan?"

                "Caring for my husband and his guest." Oh that look suddenly makes sense. He's jealous of the girl suddenly receiving his darlings attention.

                "Do you know who I am? Did he tell you? I know Xolly can be a little secretive at times." She smiles at him gently.

                "I know who you are. You're the coward who runs and abandons his freinds and family when trouble arises. My husband, my lord, Xolotl." Meli says his name properly, reproachfuly, and very deliberately. "May love you, but I do not. I serve you only at his pleasure. you and your kind, there is no good in you." Well, owch. Gabriel feels her cheeks turn red. Were they lovers once? No, Xolly would have rubbed that in like nothing else if that were true. "I will return shortly with water and more robes. When I return do not speak to me so familiarly."

                 "Well then, snce I can't ask later." Gabriel knows she shouldn't, but this rude little snippet is asking for it. "Are you a boy or a girl? I really can't tell short of grabbing your loins, and I'd like to know whether you're just premenstrual or a jealous dick."

                  "Neither." Meli walks out, not giving a remotely helpful answer. Whatever Meli is, he's a total bitch.

 

                 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aztec mythology
> 
> There's alot of conflicting information about aztec mythology but here's what I found that I decided to work with
> 
> Quetalcoatl  
> Aztec god of wind, intelligence, butterflies, etc all around good guys. Helped to create mankind of bones of the dead and his own blood. Twin brother to Xolotl. Insisted on self sacrifice and not the sacrifice of others. When he died became tlahuizcalpantecuhtli.
> 
> Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli  
> the god of dawn and the morning star who attempted to shoot dart at the sun god Tonotiuh who refused to move in the sky without sacrifice from the other gods. he missed and was killed by the sun god who shot back that same dart and struck him the head in return. He's a dangerous malevolent god known for killing things with darts. When he was killed he became Itzlacoliuhqui.
> 
> Itzlacoliuhqui  
> the god of obsidian and coldness, frost, justice, winter, sin and human misery, part of the trinity of birth life and death, taking the place of death. He's not a nice god. At all
> 
> Xolotl  
> Quetzalcoatl's dog headed, sickly twin brother, and venus as the evening star. He's the god of sickness, deformity, twins, lightening, misfortune. He guards the sun as it travels through Mictlan, the underworld at night, and aided his brother in retreiving the bones with which he created mankind. He also guides the dead to Mictlan. He was shunned by the other gods, huehuecoyotl being his only freind
> 
> Huehuecoyotl  
> Huehuecoyotl is the shapeshifting god of trickery, cleverness, pranks, unbridled sexuality, song and dance. Sound like anyone we know? I thought so. People would appeal to him for help when they were cursed by other gods. He was constantly playing pranks on the other gods, though they usually went awry and caused him more trouble than anyone else. When he played pranks on humans it usually ended in discord and violence. He was Xolotl's only freind.
> 
> Coatlicue  
> The mother of Quetzalcoatl and Xolotl, after being impregnated by a ball of hummingbird feathers. this embarrassed her daughter coyolxauqui who got her four hundred other siblings to help her kill her mother for this. When they cut off her head, the god huitzilopochtli sprang out from her womb and killed them all making coyolxauqui the moon and the siblings the stars. Coatlicue represents the devouring mother, both birth and death in one. When her head was cut off it was replaced by two snakes.


	49. One is silver and the other gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Denny and Claire bond over mutual betrayal  
> Luci tries to make Crowley a more fit king and prepares to rescue michael  
> Gabriel tries to persuade Xolotl to return her to the hospital

                "What's this?" Claire frowns as she enters Hel's hall to see that girl Denny sitting on the floor, with a large wolf draped over her lap getting his belly rubbed to the point of utter bliss. Why is the devil's boon companion in hellheim?

                 "Who's a good boy? You are, yes you are." she coos. Claire looks over to Hel who's shaking with repressed laughter.

                 "She does know that's your brother, right?"

                 "Probably not. Rhys what are you doing? She's not only to young for you, but she's also dead." Hel scolds the shameless beast, much to Denny's confusion.

                 "What are you talking about?" The girl frowns at her.

                 "She doesn't know she's dead?" Claire grimaces. That's never a fun conversation and not one she's particularly good at. She usually ended up having to put them on speaker phone with Alex.

                 "Of course, I know I'm dead. I mean what... holy fuck!" She looks back down to see a naked and smiling norseman looking up at her. "Jesus Christ!"

                 "Not even the right religion." he reaches up to tweak her nose and gets a very solid punch right in the diaphragm. "I like her." His irrepressible smile is full of pain and he rolls off her lap curling into a ball. An angry spirit can pack a punch.

                 "Joke's on you. I'm not even supposed to be a girl."

                 "Really?" This oddly perks his interest right away. He got his father's freakier side apparently.

                 "Rhys. Enough. Haven't you devestated enough young girls this year?" Hel snaps her fingers clothing her brother, who rolls to his feet and races over to give claire an enthusiastic hug.

                "Sister!" he kisses both her cheeks. "How is Alex? Is she still angry with me? I could explain if only she'd talk to me. Do you know how hard it is to break off an affair with a valkyrie?" Claire just gives him a cold look completely devoid of either forgiveness or sympathy.

                "It's no use, Rhys. She already has another lover." Hel can't help but rub it in.

                "What? No. She's just angry. She loves me, you can tell by how very mad she is." Rhys puts Claire down and stretches out a bit. "When she forgives me, I'll reward her forbearance with that proposal I'd been planning."

                 "Hi," Denny walks up and holds out her hand to Claire. "I'm Denise Hanlon, you can call me Denny. I'm dead and kind of awaiting trial. You?"

                 "Claire Novak. I'm alive. I'm Hel's girlfreind. Do you really not recognize me?" She frowns

                 "Imagine her in a cheap suit." Hel pulls Claire's hair back into the government issued ponytail.

                 "You? What's the FBI doing in the norse underworld?" Denny steps back, resuming her sullen teenager mode.

                 "I'm not FBI. I'm a hunter, and you're Satan's best friend. Shouldn't you be somewhere a little warmer?"

                 "Claire!" Hel tugs gently on her hair.

                 "I didn't know she was the devil, okay? And seriously how would I have possibly known or even suspected something like that?" The girl scowls, crossing her arms. A fair point. "Besides I was just trying to help her rescue her brother, that's all."

                 "Father asked me to keep her here until Castiel can convince heaven to grant her the entry she really should have. She doesn't get along with the norse very well, so she kind of hangs out with me while I do my queenly duties. It's nice having company." Hel gives Claire her loneliest eyes. But they had this discussion and it's what ended the relationship last time.

                  "Well, kid, I hate to say it, but you really screwed up big time. That brother you were helping to rescue if her partner in crime and they're trying to take over heaven. We're fairly sure they're going to murder my friends and family to do it, too.  So good luck with getting into heaven once your advocate is dead." Claire pats Denny's back and walks over to the fully stocked table to get something to eat before Fenris devours everything.

                   "No, she isn't." Denny frowns. "That demon Bertram Hodges was. She was not happy about that, I can tell you that much. She even let herself get tortured in hell so she could get close enough to destroy him and get her brothers grace. What is she talking about?"

                   "And I suppose she told you that?" Claire scoffs.

                   "No, but I was inside her for most of the entire affair."

                   "What?"

                   "She possessed the devil." Hel grins intensely amused as she informs Claire of this. "Isn't that just fantastic. I want to make her a valkyrie, but her brother probably won't convert and she doesn't want to go where he won't be going."

                   "You what?" Claire looks back at the girl in utter shock. How the hell would that even... Lucifer is human, and so technically she can be possessed by a ghost but... still. Who would have the balls to even try it?

                   "Well, kinda sorta." Denny shrugs. "Look, I don't want to talk about it." The heartbroken little frown on her face kind of says it all and she goes to sit down on one of the cushions in the corner. Claire feels kind of bad for a moment. It's not like she doesn't know what it's like having been decieved and lied to and tricked into helping a monster.

                  "Hey, look, I'm sorry." She goes over to her and sits down beside her. "I've had kind of a bad couple of days. My sister's been taken by the archangel I just learned killed my father and is in league with Lucifer so I'm a bit cranky. I shouldn't take it out on you." Claire gives her a freindly nudge.

                  "What?" Rhys is in front of them in a heartbeat. "What did you say about Alex? Is she alright? What happened? Who took her? Why? When? Why didn't someone tell me?" This last question is practically an enraged snarl. Sure, now he cares about her well being. Yes,  Hel said that being a two timing unfaithful douche didn't mean he doesn't care, Claire is so done with that whole bullshit. He knew what he was doing.

                  "Please, this is your fault in the first place. If you didn't break her heart that monster Raphael wouldn't have been able to seduce her. And now she's on the run from heaven and earth. So gee, why wouldn't I go to you, you louse."

                  "I can find her, Claire." Rhys growls. "Isn't that a valuable skill? Being able to track her down? Wards don't work on me, I know her scent so well I can track her from kilometers away. I knew she liked that angel a bit too much."

                   "Rhys, come here." Hel snaps. "Now." They start speaking in old norse, which pisses Claire off, like when Bree and her brothers start speaking enochian. Of course, Hel just called her a hypocrite because she speaks in english all the time. But the point is that they know she doesn't understand either not that it's their native language.

                   "Alex is your sister?" Denny says quietly, drawing back Claire's attention.

                   "Sort of. Not really, but yeah." Claire sighs. "She's just... she has a past, you know, and wants to believe that anyone can reform and do better and be good, that any sins can be forgiven. That every monster can be fixed.  She just wants to help people become better versions of themselves and that's being taken advantage of in the worst way. And if that wasn't enough, that bastard broke her heart and left her vulnerable so her head's all messed up. I'm afraid for her Denny. For her soul. If she goes to hell over this... we can't get her back for so long. She'll have to suffer and suffer until she becomes a demon and then we'd have to kill her and send her to the abyss to even hope to get her salvation. I can't let her go through that, Denny, I can't." A few hot tears break through the cold and roll down her cheeks. she won't let him destroy Alex like he did her father, like he did heaven and Castiel. She won't.

                   "Is there anything I can do to help?"

                   "I don't know." Claire glares at the wall. "We just have to stop him that's all. Before things go too far."

                   "Claire, give my father a call, would you? I don't want his brethren to get their feathers ruffled when we pop into see them. Jumpy angels are annoying as a hyper Rhys." Hel calls as Rys storms from the room. "Don't you walk away from me, you pup." She strides after him.

                   The first few calls go straight to voicemail. She probably broke it or dropped it in the toilet or something. Alright. Sam, it is.

                   "Claire? Hey, are you alright?" he asks, so very concerned. Claire just sighs and rolls her eyes.

                    "I'm fine. Look, I'm trying to get ahold of Bree but her phone's not on or something, so can you spare me the sympathic posturing and just hand her the phone? I really need to talk to her." There's just silence for a moment. "Sam?"

                     "Claire... something's happened."  his words send a chill straight through her core.

                     "What?" She stand up. "Is she alright? Can I talk to her? Can she talk?"

                    "No, I don't know. She's just.. vanished. Something took her but we don't know why or where or.. but, look, we've got this, okay?" He doesn't even sound like he believes it. "We've got every hunter and angel we can spare on this so just stay with Hel for now."

                    "Is that Claire?" she can hear Castiel in the background. He's better already? He doesn't sound to great. But that's not important.  "Let me talk to her." Claire just hangs up the phone and turns it off as castiel tries to call her. They have Bree. They took her from the damn hospital. "Hel!"

                   "Really." Crowley frowns in the mirror, examining the deep red suit with black pinstriping, black dress shirt, and solid red tie.

                   "You insisted on a suit, but you can't just wear a normal suit, dumpling." Luci sighs dusting off a shoulder. "All of your damn demons wear suits. You're on top, you need to look it." In truth if he had the right presence he could wear the Hawaiian shirt and command respect with unquestioned distinction. But he's hopelessly beta, so a distinctive power suit. The best of a bad bunch, but still...

                    "Something wrong?" The salesman asks as Luci checks his phone again.

                    "She still hasn't gotten back to me. Something's happened." he scowls.

                    "You surprise me, Darling. Fussing over the phone this way. We have demons at our command after all."

                    "You have demons, sweetheart." he tweaks crowley's nose.

                     "You have but to ask, my sweet." The future kind takes and kisses her hand. Oh for the day these games are over. Luci gives him a pleading pout in response. "Willston, Morris. Go to Smith County Memorial Hospital and check on the condition of Gabrielle Singer. Don't get too close though, she's guarded by the host."

                     "Of course, sir." They bow to him, flicking a breif look to Lucifer who rests her hand and chin on Crowley's shoulder and winks at them. "Ma'am" they nod before leaving.

                     "Do you play an instrument, dearest?" Luci whispers into his ear.

                    "An instrument?" The idiot repeats slowly.

                    "Yes, an instrument. Music is important. It's the very foundation of existence. Angels, demons, heaven, hell, humanity, earth, they're all just songs, cupcake. Elaborate songs of infinite complexity, but still just songs." Luci breaks away and walks over to his belongings.

                   "I see." He doesn't. Even slightly. At least he speaks enochian so they can have this conversation outside the prying ears of his demons.

                   "Your problem is that you try to sell. Don't get me wrong, you're good at it. No one would have let you even near the throne if you didn't sell the idea so masteruflly. But you're a king. Kings don't sell. They play." He draws an imaginary bow across an imaginary violin.

                    "Play."He repeats. Is he really this stupid or just pretending.

                    "Every being is a complex melody, an orchestra of feelings, thoughts, desires, and needs." Luci picks up his actual violin, preferring it to the offered Strativarious from his betrothed. They actually found his belongings on the lake. It was a miracle it wasn't rained on and ruined, or sunk to the bottom of the waters. "What you do is pick out the refrain." He starts to play Peter's melody from Peter and the wolf. "That one tune that composes the core of their very being. When you know that, you can play them, direct them, change their accompaniment. You can stop trying to convince them you have what they want, and you can start making them realize that they want what you have. And they do. They want everything you have."

                    He finally looks as if he's starting to understand. He can be taught. good. He'll have to keep the throne on his own somehow. Not that self preservation is his weak point, but he'll need to be able to do both.

                    "You play beautifully." He remarks in needless flattery.

                   "Yes, I know. Music hath charms to take the savage beast, but he right notes will rile him as well. Both literally and figuratively." Luci strikes the most painful note he can, enjoying Crowley's wince. There's nothing worse than a badly played violin.

                    "I play the piano. And quite well, if I do say so myself."

                    "You should never say so yourself. Just assume that everyone is aware." Luci sighs. "We should duet sometime." Luci starts to play Mendhelsson's Violin concerto as really he'd rather do anything but keep talking to this essense of burnt ape. Hopefully this trial will at least partly make up for everything he's put his family through. It's unlikely but he can hope. Trying to make Crowley a fit king of Hell. Henry Higgins himself would commit suicide in utter despair faced with the very concept.

                   Crowley just watches him intently, as always, absorbing his every manner, every move. He's trying to suss out his real plans and motives and goals. It would be interesting if he did, but unlikely. But still that's good, maybe he'll learn something useful without them having to converse. The concerto gives Luci about twelve minutes of peace at least. A little time to think.

                   There wasn't much In Alex's notes about what Michael did with his grace. He gave it to Dean Winchester apparently. Kind of fitting. But beyond that, who knows? What would Dean do with it? Where would he keep it? Someplace secure. Somewhere he can reach it if needed, fairly easily. It's proabably in the bunker. It'll be warded of course. Likely the most warded thing there. That should help identify it even if they did manage to stifle it's glow. It'd be safe to anticipate they're using both magic and technology to protect it. People good in one are usually crap with the other.

                    "Mon poulet, I need a few things." Luci announces as he finishes.

                    "Name it, mon chou."

                    "A pound each himalayan salt, dead sea salt, powdered iron, holy water, volcanic ash, and baking soda. I also need an explosively pumped flux compression generator."  he puts his violin back, and picks up Michael's journal. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a bath while you attend to it."

                     The hotel is remarkably better than what he's been in so far. But he misses the cottage, and that ridiculously comfortable trampoline bed. And the garden and even the damn chickens. And pretty much everything. It's not as if they could ever really go back, but even if they could, it just wouldn't be the same without Michael.

                     "I miss you, Mitcha." he sighs and draws a bath. He should check in on Raphael. See if he's been able to get a hold of Gabriel. He may be at her side already.

                     "Is that really the ring tone you're using for her number?" he hears Alex laugh in the background as the phone answers.

                     "Gabriel set it on my last phone. I thought it was amusing so I'm keeping it. Yes?"

                     "Have you been able to contact our little sister yet?" Luci asks since Raphael doesn't feel the need for pleasantries at the moment. "I lost contact this morning and she's neither responded or been in touch."

                     "No, we.. I haven't gotten the chance yet."

                      "Why not? Is everything alright? Are you in trouble?"

                     "Everything is fine. We've just been busy. And of course I'm in trouble. Heaven thinks I've defected."

                     "To what?"

                     "To your side, Helel, what do you think? Heaven is not exactly filled with my allies, despite my reconciliation with Castiel. They're predisposed to think ill of me. We're laying low until Castiel is well and I can speak to him directly. Otherwise I'm fairly sure I'll be taken straight for questioning."

                     "Would you like me to have Crowley send a few demons to fetch you and Alex here for safekeeping?" there's a very long silence as he realize what exactly he just suggested. "My apologies, paseh. I haven't slept yet and it's affecting my judement."

                     "Are you having trouble falling asleep?"

                     "Yes, it's this malady known as I'm not falling asleep in a hotel room filled with demons because I'd like to wake up again. Crowley fairly effectively routed out all the demons who were truly loyal to me beyond fear and self intrest when he first took control. I have no illusions about their devotion."

                     "I see." It's a relief to hear that from someone who actually does. "I'll try to contact Gabriel and get back to you."

                     "Thank you. I'll leave you and Alex to your decadent revels." he teases.

                     "Take care, Helel." his baby brother's response is lacking entirely in irritation, reproach, or a sense of willfully ignoring his statement. That's interesting. "Please try not to kill any humans."

                     "I already promised Gabriel, so don't worry. You take care as well. And give Alex my conditional tolerance." This gets a laugh from Raphael which is just so much more pleasant when he's not being laughed at.

                     "I will." and he hangs up. Alright. Bath time. Luci takes the permanent marker from his pocket and draws a demon trap on the marble floor at the door before sliding into the deliciously warm tub. He takes Michael's journal and opens it. He had debated leaving him his privacy, but given he had to go through the therapy notes already, what's the point? Plus there are so many sketches. Several pages are entirely devoted to the attempt to draw a single feather with a light blue and yellow pen. It took a bit before he realized that the soft rounded splashes were actually one of his own feathers from before the mark. It wasn't until the last, where every color of the rainbow was used to cross hatch the shadows that he could see it. What's more he could see Michael's light reflected in it. A feather from when they were alone together. Maybe when they were the only two.

                       Then there was the attempt at making his hand, the clear crystal waters of his fingers and underneath a shadow, though his true form never cast a shadow. And this shadow was a hand, but the shadow of the hand he has now.  There are so many about him, more than anything else. Though the one's of Gabriel and Raphael together in the kitchen is his favorite. And the little sketches in the corners and margins, usually about what he's writing about, or just something that tells Luci where he was when he was writing, like part of the lake, or a plant from the garden. He should have known Michael would be an artist given how he beautifully he placed those stars.

 

                      "Algonquin?" There's no response. "Souix? Pawnee? Bannock? Lummi? Molale? Restigouche?"

                      "Ashiwii!" Meli finally snaps. "Now be quiet!"

                      "When did you die?" Gabriel frowns. She wants to ask if he's Raphael's Meli but that would be fairly ignorant. It's not as if there was only one. Meli ever in all the universe. She's also fairly sure he wouldn't be in the Aztec underworld or married to Xolotl if he was the one that had that thing with Raphael. Would he? Stranger things have happened. "You don't know my brother Raphael, do you?"

                     The bitter angry glare he gives her indicates nothing less than a burning desire to drown her in the basin of dirty water he bathed her in. Okay. That doesn't really give much of answer either. Though if they parted on such bad terms, Raphael would probably have mentioned that. Wouldn't he? Meli takes the basin and leaves without another word. Gabriel just sighs and drinks some of that horrible medicinal tea.

                     "Please don't torment my spouse." Xolly comes back in finally.

                     "I'm not tormenting him. I'm just.. .asking him questions. Honestly, he hates me and you know he hates me, so by insisting on having him tend to me, you're the one tormenting him. What did you tell him about me?"

                     "Just that you were my only freind. And of course all the storied, but it wasn't until that whole apocalypse thing ten or so years ago that he stopped indicating any desire to meet you, or fondness for you in general at the recollections. Of course, that's when we found out you were actually an angel but you were killed by your brother while trying to stop the whole thing, so I just interpreted it as greif.

                      "Granted, Meli's been in an incredible mood concerning angels in general for the longest time, but i never thought it would extend to you, considering." He shrugs and plops down on the bed beside her. "So what have you been up to lately? Besides getting large with child. I only recently found out you were still alive. But then you were dead again, and now this."

                      "A lot of things really. I help run my own land of the dead. I call it fantasia. Souls go there to get rid of their darkness and await reincarnation. That was a hell of a story, long too. Your brother helped a little. Of course he did demand tribute."

                      "Of course. Who'd you have to kill?"

                      "No, Quetzalcoatl helped. Not the Itztlacoliuqui or Tlahuizcalpantecuhlti sides. I would never ask them, are you crazy?"

                      "Am I crazy? Were you? Quetzal demands voluntary or self sacrifice. What did you have to have to give him? Not your leg.." Xolotl frowns at her. Gabriel just gives him a naughty yet slightly apologetic smile that's all together too familiar. "Oh, please tell me that's not his child!"

                      "No! That was like, four years ago. and he stole my boots, too the asshole. Hel got them back for me, but still."

                      "I have been meaning to ask." Xolotl prods her right leg. "What happened there? Can't you angels fix anything? Why did you leave it?"

                      "Oh, this?" Gabriel knocks at the prosthetic. "It came like that. She was in a train wreck, actually. Lost her leg. Coma for ten years. We got switched around year four of that, lucky me. Like I said, long story, but it has sentimental value. Plus in the middle of a fight I can rip it off and use it as a weapon. The looks on their faces... especially if they didn't. That's how one of my brothers found out about it, in the middle of a drunken brawl with an entire sorority. Oh, that was fantastic." Gabriel gives a satisfied sigh at the memory, unable to wipe the smile off her face. Xolotl just starts laughing so hard he has to clutch his stomach. He always was easily amused.

                      "That must make dancing hard, though." he sobers up at the thought.

                      "Only when I'm without my grace, or without a partner. Which isn't often. Actually I'd been looking at an excuse to remove it for a while. You have no idea how much more sensual life as a human is. I thought taking a vessel was an experience. Actually being human is that to the third power, both good and bad."Gabriel rests her head on her hands trying to think of how to describe not having sense of touch as you know it to someone who's always had it. "It's... impossible to describe really."

                      "I've never known you to be at a loss for words, Coyotl." Xolotl puts an arm around her shoulders. She follows suit and they lie and they used to in the sun in the afternoons before Xolly had to go escort the sun through Mictlan.

                       "Xolly, I really need to let my family know I'm alright. And if there's a sort of threat then they need to know about it so they can eliminate it. That's kind of what they do. My husband is Sam Winchester after all. My brother in law, Dean Winchester? My baby brother is Castiel, if you know about the apocalypse, then you must have heard about them."

                       "Yes, and they aren't exactly very good at protecting you or keeping you alive. You sacrificed yourself for them if I recall and I don't intend to let you do it a third time. Besides it's a complicated situation. I'm sorry, my friend, but this is the best I can do." he sounds so frustrated and not a little sad. But he doesn't know the danger he's putting himself in.

                       "Xolly, do you remember my brother, Lucifer?" She reaches up with her free arm to pat his hand.

                      "He's the one who killed you and alot of your pagan freinds, isn't he?" Well, he knows that much at least. Not that it'll make things any easier to explain.

                      "Well, he's back. I brought him back, to heal and reform him. I don't know exactly how well it's working, though things seem to have gone fairly well before I was indesposed. But at the very least, we've reconciled and I know he'll be coming for me. When he does I can't promise you and Meli won't get hurt or killed. Especially if I can't speak to anyone to let them know you're a friend."

                       "Have you lost your mind?" Xolotl sits back up, "You brought him back? You? He killed my mother not two weeks ago! And you were the one who brought him back?"

                      "Was your mother torturing my other brother, Raphael?" Gabriel grabs his arm. "Xolotl what the hell's going on?" But he wasn't listening or pretends not to.

                      "Have you forgotten how every prank you played here came back on you? And you try something of this magnitude?"

                      "It's not a prank! And I'm fairly sure that the fact that I was the god of misfortune caused that more than any fault of mine. You obviously forgot who you are, seeing as you somehow believe that I could possibly be safer here with you the god of all manner of ruin and disaster." She snaps before she can stop herself. Xolotl looks so hurt, she regrets it instantly. She had never brought that up, never cast any of that up to him.  Not for their entire freindship, no matter what happened. "Xolly, I'm sorry." Gabriel says quietly, but he just disappears. She covers her face and plops back down again. Michele retaliates by kicking her spine right in the sciatic nerve too the little minx. He is only trying to help, but still... everything tumbles to peices when he's around. They kind of have that in common actually. When he comes back, she'll be sure to give him a proper more thorough apology.


	50. For Your Own Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire catches up with Alex and Raphael  
> Luci breaks into the bunker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter delay. I was playing pokemon go earlier and got distracted. Yes even in this weather. I ever ran into someone who was on their phone and who greeted me with 'gotta catch those pokemon' and I said yup even though I was just raiding pokestops, because he was cute and my brain stopped working in this horrible horrible heat.

              Alex sighs as the water hits her. It's probably good that Lucifer called. They needed to get out of bed and they both definitely need to eat. It's just go easy to get caught up in each other all over again. The rush of a new attraction, a new lover, is hard enough to resist without knowing the unpleasantness waiting outside this room and how little they can do about any of it. And then there's that touch of desperation, as if it's the only chance they'll ever get. Of course that might actually be the case.

               This body he's been put in, is it even a vessel? And if it is, he's not just an angel, he's an archangel. The odds that it could possibly contain him are just nil. It'll be destroyed. Not that she wouldn't be willing to pursue something if he had a different body, but if he takes a new vessel it'll probably be a vessel. There'll be someone else in there who she won't want to be with and likely wouldn't want to be with her.

                Maybe he and Bree could try and craft one, or go get a piece of an old one or whatever they did for their last ones, though apparently it took an obscene amount of work. Even then the fact remains that he'll be an angel again and not human. He won't feel the way he does now. He won't be able to. Sure Bree and Castiel have managed to make it work with Sam and Dean, but they're in love and fell in love before they ever became human themselves. It's far too soon for him to love her and she can't possibly be in love with him so soon. What besides the physical could draw him so strongly to her long enough to form that kind of affection?

               It's probably just an infatuation, and nothing more. He's human now, it's so easy to confuse those feelings and he has no experience with feeling them this intensely. But so what? He's allowed to be human when he's human and do human things like make love to a willing partner. And for that matter so is she. They have feelings for each other that much is obvious. So what's wrong with feeling it?

                And so what if it's almost certain to end as soon as his grace is healed and restored? They need each other right now. Besides, you can be freinds once you've stopped being lovers, can't you? They'll still be able to talk and go for walks in the park and discuss movies or books and psychology, won't they? Not everything will have to end, right? It happens. Doesn't it?

               "Someone's taken Gabriel."Raphael informs her as soon as she comes back out, hair freshly blow dried.All the responses that conme to mind, the exclamations, the questions all seem so inappropriate or insufficent.

              "When?" she sits down beside him.

              "Early this morning. All they know is that people saw a black dog around the hospital before hand."he gets to his feet and walks to the bathroom, obviously upset though he's trying to hide it.

              "What should we do?"

              "There's nothing we can do at the moment. I've let Helel know. I'm waiting for him to get back to me." He replies and starts to run a bath.

              "Alright. I'm going to go get some more money and get us something to eat." Alex takes the earrings out of her pocket. "I'm afraid I will have to sell these. Or at least pawn them." She sighs, not that she'd actually be able to buy them back, but at the very least there's that faint if improbably possibility that she could. "Not the necklace though."

              "Wait for me to bathe. I'll go with you."

              "You need to stay in a warded room, out of sight. I can blend. I have all the neccesary tattoos, I'll be right back." she gives him a reassuring kiss when he comes back to the bathroom door.

               "Take the knife." He puts an arm around her waist, as if what he really wants to do is insist that she stay.

               "I will."

               "Be careful." Raphael gives her a kiss. "Ol cahirelanu a ila." he whispers as he lets go of her, this time it sounds more like a plea than exultation it did all the times he said it during their embrace.

               "What does that mean?" She feels almost as embarassed to ask as he seems to be in answering her.

               "I rejoice in thee."

               "Oh." She can't help but smile. "Ol cahirelanu a ila, Raphael." It's very hard to break away from this next kiss, but she needs to get to the pawn shop before it closes, the same for the pizza place next to it. "I'll be back soon." She grabs the knife and the room key, and walks out the door. I rejoice in thee. It's so poetic makes her feel a bit giddy. He has the nicest way of saying things sometimes. Not all the times of course, but he gets the important moments just right at least.

            She knows she has a stupid smile on her face but she doesn't want to stop smiling even if she could. She didn't think she could feel like this again, that easy rapture she felt when falling in love with Rhys. Definitely not so soon after feeling so much pain. It's cold as hell but the stores are right across the street from the motel. the man at the pawn shop stares at her as she offers the earring. It's pure gold about three ounces of it, but he only offers her fifteen hundred for it, though it should go for twice that for the gold alone. Well, it'll be easier to repay. technically.

             "I will be back for it."she informs him pocketing the slip. he just shrugs and puts it in the safe. The pizza place does have some plain bread sticks and ginger ale as his stomach probably isn't quite up to pizza and wings yet. But just in case." And extra celery? Thanks." the scent of food is making her mouth water so she takes out a slice. It's suckky pizza but it's cheap and ready pretty much instantly which is the important thing.

              "Alex." A familiar voice says as she presses the walk button on the post.

              "Rhys?" she turns to see him beside her.

              "What are you doing taking up with a fallen angel?" he looks at her with big soulful eyes radiating hurt and betrayal.

              "What are you doing here?" Alex backs up, not sure what to do. She can't take him back to the hotel, but she can't pretend she's anywhere else.

              "Did you think I couldn't find you? We're one. Or we were, before you defiled yourself with that celestial traitor. How could you?"

              "What?" For the life of her she can't believe what he just said, or that he said it in the middle of a sidewalk. Is he actually implying that she's somehow betrayed him by having a lover when she's no longer with Rhys?  "Our relationship is over. I can do what and who I damn well please, Fenrysulfr."

              "You don't mean that. Love doesn't die so easily, Aisling."he reaches out to tenderly caress her cheek. Her heart twists inside her, he shouldn't still be able to do that to her.

              "It's not about love." she says quietly. "It's about what's right, what I want, what I can accept. And it's not you. I said I never wanted to see you again and I meant it."

              "Of course you did, in the moment. But regardless do you really think I could stand by and see you used and manipulated this way?"

              "I'm not being used and manipulated, at least not by him." She glares at the lying bastard. Rhys looks so hurt at this with that kicked puppy look she's not as immune to as she wishes she was.

              "I lied, but i wasn't using you or manipulating you. I love you, Alex. My brave brilliant dodling girl. I wasn't just playing with you. I wanted you for my wife. I still do." he turns her face back to his when she looks away, holding up a beautiful white gold ring studded with sapphires. " I was planning on proposing to you within the month. If I hasn't made such a grevious mistake, would you have said yes?" She would have, she knows she would have. But it wasn't just one night of infidelity, or even a few, the entire time they were together he was with Hlokk.  He lied to her, made her the other woman of a relationship she didn't know about. How could she ever trust him again.

             "But you did do what you did. You lied to me from the start. The fact that I believed our relationship to be something it wasn't, doesn't mean it would have been true if I hadn't found out. And you know I'd have found out. She'd have found out. How could you ever have thought I would have stayed with you?"

              "I thought you would have loved me enough to forgive me. If I was wrong in that I'm sorry." It's a bullshit apology to such a degree that she feels the urge to stab him with the knife and see what it does to norse gods.

              "I guess I don't love you nearly as much as you love yourself, Rhys. And since I also respect myself more than you apparently do, there will never be any hope for us anymore. I will forgive you eventually, but I will never trust you again. Now unless you're here to betray me or attack my lover or any of the various actions that will only make me hate you more that I already do, you'll leave right now, and never come near me again." she looks him straight in his crinkly brown eyes, daring him to pursue any of this any further. he stares at her right back. When she's finally forced to blink, he's gone.

 

                Claire watches and waits for Alex to leave the hotel room. With all the wards up she'll have to undo them before the angels can go in and get Raphael. Rhys made it very clear in their discussion that he'd only help them track them down if they left Alex to him and Claire. She had to promise them that she would keep her from contacting Castiel, as well, which was more difficult.  While Castiel is generally of a forgiving mind set, she knows from Harahel several that lost loved ones in the war and were captured or received reeducation from Raphael's side, if not from him personally, who feel as she does about the kind of treatment he deserves vs what Castiel would allow. Bree's in danger and they can't afford to waste time coddling satan's allies.

               Finally Alex leaves the room, and heads across the street to the pawn shop.  Rhys trots after her. It's easy to pick the lock on the hotel door. It's so old it doesn't even use a key card. Just locks. And of course she wouldn't think to have him put the chain on or anything. Claire listens at the crack, hearing only the sound of the shower. Perfect. She eases the door open and goes inside. Alex is using chalk to make the wards again, she sees. It's good if you want to be able to wash away the evidence easily, but it also makes it very easy for someone else to get rid of it as well.  

               But before she does that and calls the angels in, there's one thing she has to do. This isn't the kind of hotel room to have a safe but he has put his grace in the mini fridge, wrapped in a warded cloth to avoid magical detection. Perfect. She slips it in her jacket pocket and starts erasing the wards.

              "All clear, boys." she whispers and takes a seat to watch the show. Five angels appear in the room, blades drawn. They must think he'll put up a fight. Hopefully he will. They just wait, silently not saying a word even as Raphael opens the bathroom door.

              "Brothers." He greets them calmly. His face is stone, as he looks around the room. The faintest glimmer of emotion passes through his eyes when he sees Claire sitting on the end of the unused bed nearest the door.  "Claire."

              "You are wanted by heaven for questioning." Zithiel steps forwards. "Will you come peacefully."

              "No." He says equally calmly but doesn't make a move and just looks at them, silently daring them to come at him. The angels all look breifly uncomfortable and not a little intimidated.

              "Do you want me to shoot him?" Claire asks, crossing her arms. This is enough to get Zithiel to step forwards and try to place his hand on Raphael's shoulder. It's actually kind of impressive,  Raphael steps back forcing them to come one at a time into the small space. It's doomed to failure of course but only because for some reason he's not killing them when he can, despite the fact that he gets a blade away from them ridiculously quickly. It's probably good that she got him by surprise then. he'd probably have kicked her ass if he hadn't been distracted.

             The last angel quickly searches the hotel room.

             "It's not here." Claire says after a moment. "He must have hidden it somewhere off site." The angel nods, but finishes tearing the room apart anyway, 

             Claire breifly wonders how he got so very many scars. Did it belong to the body he stole? Is he alone in there? He'd told Alex he was, but was he telling the truth? For a moment, she feels a hot thread of doubt running through her mind burning against the cold certainty she felt since meeting with Quetzalcoatl, from the very moment he laid his hand over her heart. Is she handing an innocent vessel over to be tortured? Does the vessel feel it? No. It doesn't matter, he can't be allowed to escape justice just because he may or may not have someone else hostage. She can hear the front door begin to unlock and stands up, making sure the tranquilizer dart is properly loaded.

              "Sorry, I took so long. "Alex walks in, putting the pizzas on the little table right by the entrance, kicking the door shut behind her without even looking up. She's so careless. "I ran into..." Alex stops talking as she finally sees Claire standing a few feet in front of the open bathroom door.

              "Alex." She nods to her.

              "Where's Raphael?" Alex starts to slowly back away from the door. Her eyes fall to the bathroom, probably seeing some of the blood. "Claire?

              "He's gone. I'm sorry, Alex, but this is for your own good." She raises the gun and shoots her in the arm. Alex's mouth opens a little surprised, but it's a fast acting drug and she drops before even saying a word. Fenris barely makes it inside in time to catch her.

              "Was that really neccessary?" Rhys snaps, placing her gently on the bed, daring to give her a kiss on the lips, as if he still had anything close to the right to do that after the shit he pulled.

              "Yes." She reloads with the special silver one, filled with wolfsbane and silver nitrate, and shoots him as well. "And so was this." He's not a werewolf, so he'll live, but he will have a hell of a headache when he awakes. "Quetzalcoatl, I invoke thee." Claire breaks a glass hummingbird, letting out a veritable swarm of them that solidifies into the Aztec god

               "What's this?" he looks down at Rhys, almost amused.

               "Just some trash to leave behind." Claire walks past him, to lift Alex up over her shoulder. She put on the freshman ten it seems, of course it all seems to have gone to her breasts and hips the lucky brat.

               "Did you find his grace?"

               "Yes. Can you take us back to your temple before the Rhys wakes up? Norse gods can be kind of cranky when you shoot them." Claire nods down to him. Quetzalcoatl smiles and nods, placing his hand on her forehead this time.

              

               Luci knows it's going to be bad news when the demons returning to the hotel room go straight to Crowley, all hunched in on themselves, avoiding eye contact with him. They whisper the news in turn, eliciting raised eyebrows from the man. It's funny how they're depending on Crowley to break the news and mollify him, almost as if there was actual affection between the two. Children going to mommy to have her help them tell daddy about their report card. They're still clearly more afraid of Lucifer than Crowley, despite his reduced state, possibly because he can still manage to ruthlessly murder them whenever he pleases, but can no longer do so instantaneously and thus essentially painlessly. They are becoming dependant on Crowley to a degree at least. He's become the favored parent.

              "Poppet." Crowley waits until Luci has finished assembling the bomb before he comes over. "I'm afraid there have been some unfortunate developments." the other demons have gone as far away from them as possible.

              "And?"

              "Mrs. Gabrielle Singer has been mysteriously abducted from her hospital room. There have been mentions of a ghostly black dog and claw marks."

              "Of course."He sighs, because of course she can't stay out of trouble even confined to bed rest in a hospital surrounded by hunters and angels. She did mention a dog. And Xolotl. Luci pulls over the laptop and looks it up. Dog Xolotl. What was that breed she mentioned? Xoloitzcuinti? A hairless dog frequently black. Many sizes, Accociated with Xolotl. He's yet another Aztec, and the god of death, twins, sickness, deformity, takes the dead to Mictlan.  Alright now, what is there about him and huehuecoyotl?  Hopefully there are some talks or legends to tell if that 'f' was for freind or foe or just a typo. Hopefuly not another pagan lover. The only good thing about her husband is that he's not a pagan god. Oh, no Gabriel was the doggy dieties only freind.

             "Also," Crowley begins, not showing any real timidity besides the respectful pause. "The angels have found and taken your brother Raphael."

             "I see." Luci frowns. Because nothing can actually go the way it's supposed to. Was it too much to ask that he and Alex stay in a hotel for a few days? It's not as if they wouldn't have anything to do. "I don't suppose they seemed at all freindly in this taking."

             "The broken plumbing and bloodshed suggested otherwise." He shakes his head regretfully, as if anyone would actually believe he cared. "Am I correct in assuming this will affect our plans, sweetness?"

             "Unfortunately." Lucifer closes the laptop again. "I'll need a marker. A peice of brimstone maybe?" he smiles ."I'll also be needing a dramatic rescue at some point but until then we continue as planned. Though, while I'm away, I'll need you to locate Mictlan, and procure me access to it."

             "Mictlan? The Aztec underworld? I thought that folded when their pantheon did. Pagan afterlifes are notoriously unstable."

             "Yes, well, given my sister's involvement in said pantheon, they probably got some good advice during construction."

             "Gabriel was involved with the Aztecs? I thought he was just one of the norse deities."

             "Before your time." Lucifer smiles. "Think you can handle that, pumpkin?"

             "Of course." He waves to the demon closest the door, who opens it and wheels in a service tray. "I've taken the liberty of ordering room service." Champagne strawberries, oysters. How disgustingly romantic. Well, at least these games are being played over something more classy than pizza and organic soda this time. He does miss the chaperone though. But, this is a bigger audience at least. Those little brats he calls siblings had better appreciate this.

 

             "No, it has to be bright, new shiny.  Maybe a little dusty but for this, I need a soul that shouldn't really be here." Lucifer waves off the offered souls. "One that made a deal without paying attention, persay."  
             "I have just the one m'lo.... m'lady." the eagerest toady pulls out one that's almost brand new. "And it's a girl your age as well. She did have a ten year contract, but the man she made it for ended up killing her."

             "Hmm." Luci takes the jar and adjusts her fake glasses. "Very nice. Not as bright as Denny's, but it'll do." He starts to unscrew the jar whispering sweetly to the soul inside. "You poor thing. Come to me. I'll keep you from torment, I promise, that's it." He hums a few bars of 'Poor Unfortunate Soul' as his hands guide the timid soul to his mouth, where he inhumes it into his very being. No one gets the reference and he finds himself missing Gabriel a great deal in that moment. The raw power of the bare unprotected soul within him makes him feel all cozy and tingly. It's a fraction of his old power, but no one knows how to use it like he does.

             "Everything on our end is set." Another demon, a girl this time hands him the wig and color contacts.

             "Good to know." He chucks her under the chin. she gives a flustered smile and looks away. Aw, how cute. Always nice to meet a groupie. The brown contacts slip fairly easily and the short black wig actually suits her fairly well. She still has Michael's plaid overshirt as that, an undershirt, army boots and jeans seem to be the standard uniform for the hunters in training. And since it's winter, she takes a lovely vintage black trenchcoat from Hugo Boss, a few sizes too big. After all legs get cold too.

             "Your steed awaits." Crowley offers his arms. Luci laughs and accepts. He once wondered why Crowly chose that particular body to posses. It's cute enough, but nothing spectacular. He's assumed it was because of the whole british persona he took on to spite his mother. Because really why else would a scottsman be british if not to strike deep into the heart of their parents. But the fact that the body is hung like a horse probably had alot to do with it as well, given the deal that sent him to hell. The person he's wearing probably wishes he'd been a little less appealing about now.

               "Where are the Winchesters right now?"

               "Both are in a meeting at their little academy with students and angels in attendance. No one has entered or exited the bunker in the last six hours. So you should be able to search uninterrupted once you seal the entry ways."

               "And the roads?"

               "Blocked, as ordered. I took the liberty of also having them put some sugar in several gas tanks and potatoes in the tail pipes."

               "Not immediately identifiable as demonic, that's good." Luci grins and steels himself for the disorientation of instantaneous travel. Doing this with a demon always leaves a burnt taste in his mouth. "Later, darling." she pinches his cheek and walks down the grassy slope to the entrance of the bunker. As if he didn't memorize every detail of that men of letters key the second he gained access to it, while in Castiel. Regaining those unpleasant memories back when he was recovering with Raphael has turned out to be more useful than he thought.

                 It's hard to believe that actually happened. Though aside from this thing with Crowley, that has to have been one of the most unpleasant roles he's ever had to play. He doesn't know how his poor little boy didn't just end up smiting everybody within that first year. And he wasn't even getting any for his trouble after all that time. At least he is now. Luci wonders how Michael feels about this younger siblings involvement with his true vessel and if he finds it as disturbing as Luci finds Gabriel's involvement with his.  Then again Michael never actually got to use it and he and Castiel didn't exactly have any sort of close relationship that might make it especially awkward to think about. 

                 He whistles a jaunty tune as he starts down the staircase only to stop as he sees Sam, asleep on that long large table, having run himself into exhaustion no doubt. So much for demon intel. It's not hard to ensure he stays asleep, just a quickly crafted spell backed up with a hasty hex bag that should hold him for a day or so. It's be easier just to stab him in the neck, but he did say he'd let him live. But still, he has to do something. The man's defiled and impregnated his little sister, putting her life at risk and reducing her to such a vulnerable state she got abducted by a damn Aztec God in the first place.

                 A quick check determines no one else is in the bunker and he sets to work. Like they say, all work and no play make Luci a dull girl.

 

             

             

             


	51. Luci in Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters deal with the aftermath of Luci's raid.  
> Luci makes his way through the Abyss to return Michael's grace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luci was going to pull up and leave incredibly filthy embarrassing porn on Sam's laptop but decided against it as the bomb was going to wipe it out anyways.

               It takes six hours to force the bunker doors open. Most of those involved removing the Angel proofing etched into the steel door. Sam has neither picked up his phone or returned any texts. And any attempts to teleport into the bunker failed miserably. Dean draws his gun and slowly decends the stairway. The students entering behind him. There are wards put up on the walls and the only light is shining in from the skylight. On seeing it, it occurs to dean that they could have just broken the glass and rappelled down. Hopefully none of the students realize that. Sam's laptop is on the table and completely dead in the bargain, despite being plugged in. It won't turn on, and there seems to be a similarly dead electric razor plugged in right next to it, as well as some moderately long brown hair.

               The emergency lamps are quickly fetched from the kitchen and passed around.

               "Alright, pair off." he directs them. "Ruth, you're with me."

                "Shit. Hold on." She quickly takes off her red sweater and hurls it across the room like it's going to explode.

               "This isn't Star Trek you dork." Betty teases her.

               "I dare you to wear it." Ruth retorts not quite so playfully. "I double, no triple dare you."

                "Girls. Pay attention." Dean glares at them. They're new, so they actually  quiet down when told and follow directions.  "Spray over the sigils whereever you find them. If you see something get the hell out of there and report to me. hell, text me, that's relatively quiet. Ruth?" He nods for her to follow him down the hall to their rooms. There's nothing in his room, though the door is open.

              What used to be Sam's room is now the nursery. There's nothing in there either, though apparently Sam felt the need to rearrange everything into what he has to admit is a much nicer configuration. There are five oragami angels or a makeshift mobile hung over the crib, the the black and white striped shapey one is discarded in the trash. There's red, blue, green, gold, and beige with a blue tie? The gold and beige angels have little monkeys grabbing the strings above them.

             "That's kind of cute." Ruth comments. "I don't understand the monkeys though."

            "Me neither, and it's not cute it's weird. Sam spent weeks picking out the right mobile. Besides that he can't do origami.  He even messes up cootie catchers." Dean looks around the room some more before closing the door.

            "Dean?" Ruth's voice sounds a little strained. He looks over to see her standing in front of the former storage room that's now Sam and Gabriel's room. "I think I found Sam."

            He's quickly to the door but pauses as he sees the light from the emergency lamp shining on his brother's body. He's shirtless, face down on the bed, hands handcuffed to the rails of the headboard that Gabriel swore up and down were not for that the little liar. There are bloody words either written or carved all along the exposed skin. He's neither conscious or moving, at all. There's some sort of skull cap on his.. holy shit, no, someone shaved off a circle of hair, trimmed the rest into a sort of mane and drew a lions face in the center with a tiny caption next to the open mouth 'rowr'.

            "You have got to be fucking kidding me." He walks quickly over to him and checks for a pulse. He's alive, he's breathing and despite initial appearences is unharmed.  Instead of blood it's apparently permanent marker. "Sam." he shakes his shoulder. "Sammy." But there's no response. Dean starts searching the room for a hex bag. It is, of course, in the closet that Gabriel warned him never to go in and he is now, as promised, scarred for life and will likely never be able to look either of them in the eye again. He knew Gabriel was a freaky thing, but damn. The 'penalty' box was the worst. And of course, that's where it would be.

             He sets it on fire and Sam awakens.

             "What the hell?" he lifts his head, tugging on the fuzzy cuffs.

             "I was hoping you could tell me." Dean quickly picks open the cuffs, not wanting to go back into the closet to look for the keys.

             "The last thing I remember I was on the computer. Why are the lights out?" He pushes himself up and looks down at his torso where the writing continues. Dean unsuccessfully tries to stifle a snicker when he notices the red goatee and handlebar mustache scribbled onto his brothers face with v shaped eyebrows and little red horns drawn on his forehead.

             "Is Gabriel back?" Ruth asks curiously.

             "I doubt it, or he'd be missing more than just his shirt." Dean comments. "She wouldn't put a hex bag in the penalty box either." Sam looks up at him a bit alarmed at that statement, though he's not sure which aspect of it. "Are you okay? You don't hurt anywhere?" he asks as Sam looks down at and rubs his wrists.

             "Why am I covered in enochian?"

             "I don't know. hold on. Let me send this to Cas." Dean hands him the lamp and takes pictures of all the writing.

             "Dean? Half of that stuff in there is just for shock value in case anyone looks in there. Just so you know." Sam says a bit uncomfortably.

             "All that tells me is that half of it isn't and I'd really rather not start to speculate on that, thank you."

             "So what happened to the lights?" Sam asks again, looking around the room.

             "We don't know. We only just got the door to open five minutes ago. It took like six hours." There's a beep on his phone. Cas responded quick.

             "What does it say?"

             "That he doesn't feel comfortable repeating such things to anyone under any circumstances much less his lover. It's not a spell though, or hex or anything, just... alot of incredibly filthy insults and character assignations. He wants me to promise to tell him when we find out who did it, so he can tend to their correction. Are you sure you're not hurt?"

             "Yeah, I'm..." Sam pauses as he runs his fingers though his hair, reaching the bald spot. "What..." he feels his head, the look on his face making Dean want to laugh at it finally, now that he knows Sam's fine. There's another text.

             "Jerry's found something." Dean heads back down the hallway.

             "In here." Jerry shouts as Dean passes the storage room with the dungeon. 

             "Shit!" he runs in and stops. There's some sort of twisted metal thing that looks like an exploded low powered bomb in the middle of the pushed back shelves. a thin coating of dust and salt covers absolutely everything.

             "It's an EMP." Betty is crouched down beside it. "Electromagnetic pulse device." As if he doesn't know what a damn EMP is well that explains the lights. All the computer systems have been wiped out. "And whatever was added to it seems to have dispelled every spell ward and hex in this room that it touched."

             "Shit." Is all Dean can say as he walks slowly over to the box on the podium secured by a now completely defunct alarm system, and magical wards, traps and alarms. The glass is shattered, the locks are picked, the chains undone and in the box, where Michael's grace once was, is a note. IOU with a smiley face in the 'O' and a little upside down heart as the dot for an exclamation point, making it look kind of obscene. "Son of a bitch." he covers his mouth. Sam takes the note from his brother's hand and looks him in the eye.

              "Lucifer."

    

            Luci quickly bandages his hand, not wanting to leave a trail of blood to mark his way into the abyss. It looks the same in truth except for the fence and an ornate guilded trellis leaving just one opening in the edge of the abyss behind the circular alters that had been in place there since it was created. They shouldn't have had only angels guarding it. Especially given how easy it is to banish them. He'll have to say something to Gabriel about that when he comes back. The wig and contacts are tossed through the gate and dissappear.

            They didn't even suspect who he was. The bright soul masked what was left of his true self and the disguise was enough to fool them. Though he suspects a beauty mark would have done it. The expanse of nothingness doesn't look any different than it did when it was just the only crack in reality leading into the empty, oblivion, nothingness. But apparently it's now another realm, where everything that was once cast into the empty was pulled back into one place and made retrievable. He has got to get Gabriel to tell him how she did it.  Luci takes a breath, and steps through.

            He finds himself standing in the middle of a cross roads. there are no signs but the symbols for various directions decorate each path. Four different colored paths, red with orange edges, blue with silver, gold with white, green with brown. Well, Red and Orange are Michael's colors and they're on the south marked road, which for some reason was also associated with him. So that's as good a direction to start as any.

             The path is easy, but takes hours to walk. The wind starts to push against him. The closer he gets the harder it pushes. Dust storms form on the horizon and funnels of clouds, hurricanes, tornadoes, lightening crashing in between them. There's no place to take cover so he just walks forwards. His hair is whipped all around his face and it feels as if he's beset at all sides, but somehow it's either not enough to do more than inconvenience him or he's receiving equal pressure from all sides. It feels like an exhaustive expansive weight upon his very being and yet lifts his feet easing the same burden it creates.

              A giant figure appears in the distance among the coalescing wall of wind storms. It gets larger as he approaches until it's the size of a man and he can see it in detail. Six great wings as gold and clear as a ray of sunshine falling through the trees.  The same sun that's reflected in her eyes and has kissed her skin so that it's almost brown.  Her whisps of curls are like sunlight on the clouds the halo of her head, while her robes are the soft white and silver of the same, solid and insubstantial at the same time. In one of her hands she weilds her blade, freed from the corporeal confines of the straight silver, now a scythe of pure lightening. It's all the brightness and being of air and sunshine as seen by mortal eyes. Gabriel in her true form beautiful and choatic.

              As he gets nearer the figure stays the same until finally he stand before her, a full head taller than her as he always was. But this Gabriel is empty devoid of smiles and laughter. When her mouth opens and  he hears her voice, her true voice, the tinkling of bells, but somehow it's dull and flat. Even her human shell contains more of her than this perfect replica. It's all of Gabriel with nothing of her.

              "Entrez seulement avec elan vital." She states. Enter only with the vital spark? Michael's grace. Lucifer takes it out of his back pack and holds it up cautiously. He could possibly spare some, but there's so little of Michael there. "Entrez." She holds up her hand and the winds beside her still.

              "Merci, mon chou."he indulges in a kiss to the angels forhead. It's like kissing sunlight, his mortal form too solid to truly connect and the figure makes no response. Lucifer feels his heart ache ash he can't help but look back at the figure every so often as he continues down the path. He can't stop until it's faded entirely from view.

               The path starts to grow green with all manner of plants and trees, thickening from a lush feild to a thick forest, bright, healthy beautiful, though not quite the perfection of eden. The pathway turns to bricks to cobblestones to precious gems glittering as he passes, though there's no sun in the sky to reflect. It must be the light of the soul inside him. After all, he has none of his own to shine.

                It grows darker, the trees growing thicker and thicker, petrifying turning into a cavern, the path glows beneath him and in the distance a mossy boulder makes a quarter moon out of the rounded exit. But that's just the dim light. As he gets closer he sees it's Raphael sitting with his blade freed into a diamond staff across his knees, his head bowed in thought.  His mossy wings are folded around him like a green velvet robe.

                He's still, which is not unusual for Raphael, and Lucifer can't resist reaches out to caress the dark tight metal curls of his hair that threaten to cut open his skin, and run his fingers across the soft rounded feathers of his wings. But when this Raphael lifts his head to look at him there's nothing in his face, not irritation, frustration, amusement, forbearance, thoughtfulness, intelligence, any of the million subtle expressions that leak from his eyes, to give him life, no matter how set his features in stony stoicism.

                He's solid beneath Lucifer's fingers, but rough. Lucifer can remember gently touching him with his hand once in affection after the leviathan and as he stroked his cheek, the harsh sharp edges became rounded and smooth. Now they just scrape his fingers. When he speaks, it' s the slow rumbling of the earth itself, deep and deliberate.

                 "Who is like God?" Is all he says, looking straight into Luci's eyes. Unhelpful as always, but the way beside him is open aside from the staff stretched across the way. He can easily go over... no, it moves up. Under? It moves down. He goes to just grab it and is knocked down. "Who is like God?" the emphasis on the who.

                  "Michael." He replies, that is what her name means, but it's not enough.

                  "Who is Michael?" Seriously?

                  "First and Best of All Angels. Prince of Heaven, warrior, soldier, daughter, sister, lover." No response. "What do you want me to say? Michael is Michael. My Mitcha, all passion and flame, handsome and strong, lost and alone, unsure and in pain, my heart, my light." He feels so frustrated, but at his last words Raphael straightens further.

                  "Mitcha is my light." He says softly, feeling an ache that he doesn't want to think about. Raphael stands, lifting his staff. "I'll see you soon, paseh." Luci pats his brother's chest as he passes. There's no response at all. when he looks back the cavern is closed off and the path just continues into a jagged rockfall, ending in an vast expanse of glittering, sparkling whiteness.

                   The whole feild glows in almost blinding beauty, but it's cold with a chill that freezes him to the bone. He breifly regrets hiding the trenchcoat in Castiel's closet, but as his skin is still warm without goose bumps it's a spiritual chill, not physical.  The coat probably wouldn't have helped. The sparkling snow becomes sheets of ice and growing into sculptures. A feather, the wave of his wing, the soft roundness of his cheek viewed from behind and to the side, the flowing waves of his hair, bits and peices of him, his lips, a kiss in the frost.

                   He can feel himself start to blush and the cold grows less even as the ice grows more and more solid. The light shining from each peice hurts his eyes so he can't even look any more. Up ahead is a large brilliant dome of ice, oddly shaped. It isn't until he narrows and sheilds his eyes that he can see what it is. It's his two enormous wings, folded protectively over a glowing core. It's the only representation that's still in it's true size.

                   The top is fluid, his head, poured over with the flowing waves of his hair, falling down behind the  icy wings. The path leads right to the overlapping tips, where the gap where they touch is blocked by the tip of his spear. But instead of asking or requiring anything of him, the spear head lifts to allow him to enter. He looks around as he darts through, not entirely trusting himself not bring the point down on his own head. He's kneeling with his arms out grasping his spear, his hair is a waterfall surrounding Michael sitting hunched below, not quite as small as a human but close.

                   Her head is bowed, her knees drawn to her chest, hugged tightly by her strong arms. But her six white wings aren't so tightly drawn and form a loose arch around her. Every inch of her is entombed in a clear smooth substance, just beneath it are shadows, black swirls amidst the deep blue flames. The sight of Michael infected with that darkness hurts like he thought nothing ever could.

                    "Mitcha, I'm here." He slips under the curved wings and knees before her. "I brought you your grace. But I don't know how to give it to you. I should have thought of that, but it's not as if there was anyone I could ask. not who would ever tell me at least.

                    "We're in trouble, Michael. I can see how you're hurting and I don't know if you can just will yourself to emerge, but if you can, we need you so badly. heaven has turned against Raphael and I don't know how to save him without doing terrible things. Gabriel's missing, taken by some pagan god to the Aztec underworld and I don't know if I can reach her before anything happens to her and Michele. She's having a girl and naming her after you. which is fine. She did name her first daughter after me. We're calling her Shelly for short. In honor Raphael. I can guarantee he won't appreciate that."

                       Luci takes the journal out of the mostly empty backpack and starts to write on the last pages. When she's done, she places it back in the waterproof backpack and places them at Michael's feet.

                      "I brought you some things for when you wake. I hope it helps. Including your journal. I read it. I did. I had to find out about what happened to your grace. I'm sorry, Michael. I put you through so much pain and all because I thought I was right and I wasn't. But even if I was, it wasn't worth it. I'm doing my best to try and take care of the children but I need help. I need you, Michael. I always did. You're my light and I can't truly shine without you. I know you regret what we did, even though I don't. But as long as we're together again, I don't care how or in what way. I just want you there. You're the most precious thing in all of our father's creation and I love you."  He turns his head and rises up to lay a chaste kiss on the encapsuled lips.

                      "I hope you can forgive me for everything I've done. If not I understand, but try to come back for Raphael and Gabriel's sake. Especially Raphael. They're going to torture him, Michael, if they aren't already. Castiel isn't nearly as strict with them as he should be, even Gabriel admits that. I might be able to save him but I don't know if I can without hurting him more deeply than I ever have before. Everything I've ever done, everything I ever was is just..." He doesn't even know what to say. Lucifer will always be the anchor around his neck, dragging down him and everyone around him, no matter what he's trying to become. There's no point in pretending it could ever be otherwise. "Please help me."

                       There's no change to her, though the blue of her flames has swirls of white and the crack of her lips looks almost like an actual crack in the veneer. So he gives her another kiss, this one less chaste than the last. What's the point in denying anything? Heat seems to blister his lips and he pulls away, putting his hand to his arm and aching mouth.  Michael's become hot to the touch, too hot to touch again, but there is a crack, a small one across his mouth. So Luci opens the vial of grace. the light seeps into the form and the wings clasp tightly around her, almost catching Luci within before he can slip out. Her form is almost that of a feathered egg or cocoon.  The ice underneath him starts to melt, darkened by the occaisional drip of shadow, where none was noticable before, but there's so much darkness to purge. Yet, it's clear she's trying.

                      "Okay." Luci sighs and takes off the large pink purple and blue plaid shirt, draping it over her wings as best he can so it won't fall off. "I'd stay with you but our siblings need me. I'll do what I can. If you're not out in time to save him first, tell Raphael that I'm sorry and I love him and I lied. I explained everything in your journal in case you don't remember exactly what I said. I have to go. I'll come back if I can, but if not remember this."

                       Almost as soon as he's beneath the spear, everything melts, leaving him at the entrance to the abyss. A dozen angels are there waiting for him.

                       "I don't suppose you'll be taking me to see Castiel." he smiles at them as sweetly as he can. The look in their eyes says clearly that they will not.

   


	52. The Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire brings Alex and Raphael's grace to Quetzalcoatl for protection and leaves to rescue Gabriel  
> The multifaced Aztec God solicits worship from Alex with predictable results.  
> Raphael is tortured and spends some quality time with his big brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am all caught up typing up written chapters again. We're actually getting close to the end of the story, finally. Of course that may mean there are only fifteen more chapters left instead of another fifty. I thought it'd be done by now, honestly, but my characters just will not cooperate. For instance, Luci was supposed to enact her terrible hurtful plan at the end of this chapter but couldn't resist getting in a few last good moments first.

                Claire places Alex gently down on the stone alter. The temple has a decided lack of beds so it'll have to do. She takes off her jacket and makes a pillow of it for Alex's head and carefully removes the winter layers from them both. The runic knife and chipped obsidian blade are both in Alex's belt. Obviously she can't be left with these. The runic knife goes in Claire's and the other is presented back to Quetzalcoatl.

                 "You're truly a dedicated and reliable freind." he taps the center of her chest as he seems to do as acknowledgement. It's makes her uncomfortable, but not in a suggestive way. It's more like the feeling of her heart being a bag filled too much and about to burst open. But that sensation only lasts a moment before things grow numb. At the same time, though it's all so sharp and clear.

                 "I only do what must be done." her own words strike her as cold and unfeeling. But it's not about feelings, it's about justice and retribution. He must pay for his crimes, suffer as he made others suffer. An eye for an eye and more, so that no one will dare to do what he's done ever again.

                 "Was she with him as you thought?" Quetzalcoatl asks, looking her over. He frowns and pulls aside the collar of Alex's shirt enough to reveal the gold necklace Raphael gave her.   He does not look happy to see it.

                 "Yes. She won't believe me, but maybe she'll believe you. He doesn't deserve her anymore than Rhys does."

                 "Don't worry, my Claire, I'll let her know the truth of the situation as soon as she wakes. I do have good news, though. I know who has coyotl. Has she ever spoken to you about Xolotl?" he walks back over to Claire, who just shakes her head. "He's my balance, my twin. Where I am healthy, he is sickly. Where I am strong, he is weak. As I am brightness, he is dark. It's the same concerning Coyotl. The feelings and intentions I bear, he bears the opposite."

                  "He has her?" Claire frowns, the numbness starting to fade into anger and worry. "Where? Is she alright?"

                  "For now. He will maintain her until she gives birth. All he wants is the child. The blood of a nephilim sired by an archangel is a powerful thing. Once the babe is born, he'll have no more use for her. She is in Mictlan, where I'm no longer able to go. He took over when the other gods died, ruling it as well as guiding the sun on it course through the underworld. I can pull you both out once you reach her, but you'll have to get to her yourself. Ordinarily the journey takes four years, but you're going as my emissary and there are ways to get you to his palace in days. Listen carefully to my instructions."

 

 

                  The heat is the first thing that grabs her attention. Is the furnace broken again? She'll have to call the landlord about it or ask Rhys. No... not Rhys Why is it so hard to wake up? Who's talking? Why does she feel so heavy?

                  "Remember don't enter until you see the sun begin it's journey." That voice. It's so distinctive and a little familiar. Has she heard it before? She can't place it.

                  "I remember." Claire? Alex cracks open her eyes. Is that Claire? In such a bright robe and large feathered headdress. It sounds like her but she hasn't exactly seen Claire in anything but jeans. It's incredibly hard to adjust to the sight. The man that stands before her isn't Raphael, though he looks very similar to his current body. He hands her a bowl, keeping his hands on it as she drinks. As soon as Claire finishes, she drops to the ground.

                  "Claire? Alex tries to reach for her but she still can't seem to move right. Everything's so heavy. Not-Raphael turns to her and a sense of cold starts to seep into her from the hard surface beneath.

                  "Don't worry." he smiles at her, a large jade pendant around his neck.  "She's merely going on a journey. Hello, Alex."

                  "Hello."

                  "Do you remember me, Alex? I remember you. You and Claire, Coyotl's devotees. We met so breifly, I understand if you don't." It's odd how brightly he starts to shine. "I am Quetzalcoatl, god of the preisthood, knowledge, learning, art and the coming dawn."

                 "Coa-coa." she thinks she remembers. "You stole Bree's boots." how many years was that ago? Two years before she met Rhys at the wedding. He seems annoyed at the mention of it. "I'm sorry." Though she's not sure why she's apologizing. He's the one who stole Bree's boots.

                  "It's alright, child. You're not yourself at the moment." he places a hand on her head. "My Claire has told me about you," Alex isn't sure she likes him calling her 'his' Claire. Did she and Hel break up again? They just got back together. "The scholar, the teacher. Do you know what I could teach you? All the knowledge I've acquired? So much more than that foolish coyote. She came to me for my wisdom if you recall."

                  "Information." Alex corrects him, though it occurs to her it's not the best idea to correct a pagan god, but she can't seem to help herself.

                  "Semantics." his smile is tight. "The fact remains I have so much more to offer you. Knowledge long since lost to the world you know. But it's not free."

                  "Never is."

                  "Be my other preistess, Alex. Join your sister in worship and devote yourself to me and the wells of knowledge at my disposal will be yours." Is he talking metaphorical wells or actual wells? It's so hard to tell with gods. But worship him?

                 "No." she tries to sit up, but he grabs her wrists pinning them above her head.

                 "Is knowledge so unimportant to you? Is Quetzalcoatl not enough? Perhaps Itztlacoliuqui will serve you better." His hands become so cold and hard as stone, the light within him fading into a dark winter's night chilling her where he touches. Coa-coa has a temper. Why are gods such spoiled whiny brats? "I know you Alex. Your life has been filled with nothing but death, loss, and betrayal. You led evil men to bitter justice, drawing them to have their blood spilled to give life to those you deemed more worthy of it. To the ones who took you from empty mediocrity and reared you, loved you, protected you. Then just as you ascended to their ranks, it was all taken away from you.

                 "You worship the coyote but what has she done but embroil your life in chaos? You worshipped the destroyer of all and he did nothing but betray and deceive you."

                "No." She protests. "I loved them, " They were her family, her friends, her lover not her gods.

                "But you were still abandoned and betrayed. I can give you justice, vengeance on the world that's wronged you." His hands leave her wrists, but the cold remains as she's bound with ice to the stone beneath. "I can take away your pain. I can see them, the scars in your heart." he places a cold heavy hand on her chest. "Those that put them there deserve to pay. Take from them what they took from you."

                "No." That jade pendant around his neck, wrapped in gold webbing. Is that..."Raphael.." the uttered name angers him. "What have you done with him? Why do you have his grace?"

                "The fallen angel has been delivered to his brethren to pay for his crimes. They'll treat him fairly, don't you think?"  He gives a cold smile that says otherwise.

                "Not even a little." They're all too hurt and frightened and can't see the truth of him behind their fear and hatred of his brother Lucifer. It's not likely he'd be turned over to the ones that would.

                "Then he'll receive a little justice at least."

                "That's not justice, just pain and vengeance." Alex snaps. "You know nothing about justice if you think that's just."

                "Do you know what he's done. What he's taken from me? I lost everything because of him and his negligence, his malice. My family, my freinds, my lovers, my worshippers, so much power, everything. And I will not rest until he has suffered the same. he's a traitor, a torturous murderer and false savior. Why supplicate yourself to him? Like his sister, he brings nothing but chaos and destruction!"

                 "You know nothing about any of them if you can say that."

                 "HE is nothing! Why does he deserve your devotion? What can he give you that I couldn't give you more of that you should worship him and not me?" He really doesn't understand anything, does he? Not a single thing.

                 "Not worship. Rejoice."

                 "What?"

                 "I rejoice in him. Because he's Raphael and that's all he has to be. You are nothing to me and never will be, but the fading god who stole Bree's boots. How could you possibly even think I'd devote myself to you in any sense at all? Maybe you know things, but you don't understand shit. You're so goddamn arrogant. Fuck you, you worthless bastard." The look in his eyes is deadly, but she doesn't care. But instead of raging he starts to laugh, which is even more frightening.

                 "You're so brave and so foolish. I'm arrogant? You, a fragile, deflowered, mortal woman are face to face with a god willing to overlook your defects and grant you everything, and you spit in his face. But let me assure you, girl. Be it as preistess or sacrifice, you will bleed for me."

                  The only appropriate response is to do as he suggested, and spit in his face.

 

                The cold burns as Raphael kneels, his hands bound behind his back. The wooden spikes surrounding him, angled inward begin to blur in his vision. How long as he sat like this? His muscles strain and ache, threatening to give way again.

                 "What have you done with Gabriel?" The same questions over and over as if his answers will change.

                 "Nothing." All he can say is the truth. He couldn't lie if he tried, it's hard enough just to think. no sleep, no food, no relief, just cold and pain.

                 "What has Lucifer done with her?"

                 "Nothing. He's.. he's trying to find..." but he can't make his lips form the words anymore.

                 "Does he have your grace? Is that why you're helping him?"

                 Raphael is so numb he can barely feel the wood piercing his skin when he falls. A touch brings him round again and he finds himself somewhere else entirely. He's naked on the floor in a dirty room. It's close to freezing cold and now that he's refreshed it'll be hours before he stops feeling it again.

                 They don't really know what they're doing. None of them know how to tell a lie from the truth it seems.  They're just going to keep going until they get an answer they like enough to believe. It's supposed to be that a lie is punished worse and worse, the more you tell. Then honesty is rewarded with relief. And the numbing cold, the stress positions interfere with each other. not that he intends to give them tips, but it could be worse. Itzlacoliuqui knew how to inflict pain and humiliation much better. There are some things angels won't stoop to, even in torture. He lasted for weeks of that. How long has it been for this?

                  Of course he also has prayers then. Every morning Helel's songs took him out of himself for just a little while. The rest of the time, Alex's prayers held him fast. So many prayers. Encouragement, reassurance, worry, faith. She reminded him that Helel had said he was on his way, even though she didn't believe it herself. That Gabriel was doing fine. He knew that, as Gabriel sent a few prayers his way when she could, but it was just more of Alex keeping him from feeling so alone.

                 Now there's nothing. Alex's voice is gone. Helel's and Gabriel's as well. They don't know where she is. If she was dead they'd know that. Helel, well, it took the darkness herself to bring him down the first time. He survives somehow. But Alex... no, Claire was there. She'd never let anything happen to Alex no matter how she felt about him. But Claire is just human.

                 He wants to ask if they'd taken her, hurt her, but how can he? How can he let them know how inexplicably important she is to him? Let them think it's just her body that draws him and not every wonderful thing she is. Let them think he was just using her even. At least until they start to believe what he has to say.  Maybe they won't. Maybe they'll wait a second too long to pull him back from the brink of death and accidentally send him back to the abyss. Better to leave her as out of things as he can. He never should have pulled her in to begin with.

               If only Michael were here. She'd believe him. She'd understand and forgive him. She'd protect him, though he doesn't deserve protecting. Everything he's done is coming back on him now to torment him. As if it didn't even as he did them. As if the questions and doubts didn't stab at him with every choice he had to make. If Meli knew what he'd done after loosing her, he'd never be forgiven. But Alex did. She knew everything he did and forgave it all, accepted him. What's more she said yes to a glory he knew he didn't deserve to ask of her. But he shouldn't think of that now, think of her. That doesn't belong here.

               There's a thin cotton robe that does nothing for the cold but will give him some modesty at least, and a restroom with a small shower. It loks liek an old hospital, but from the small barred window he can see so many decrepit building in abandoned city blocks. There's no hot water, but it doesn't matter. He just needs to be clean, that's all. They may have healed his wounds, but they left the dirt, the blood and the results of his body reaching the limits of human endurance and restraint. If they hoped to shame him with it, he knows better. There's only so much control you can exhert over your basic functions. But that still doesn't mean it was much mre bearable. There is soap, though by the time he's satisfied, the bar is almost gone and his shaking fingers can barely turn off the water or put on the robe.

                 He stumbles in front of the angel that awaits him when he emerges and ends sitting on his knees, barely supporting himself that much with his hands. He can't see who it is in his limited human condition, but they're using a vessel that's outside the program. A young woman with brown hair so dark it's almost black, and strong features, crouches down in front of him.

                 "Raphael." She says softly and touches his forehead, taking the hypothermia away, but not the chill. "That this should have happened to you is nothing short of the greatest of crimes." Though he doesn't know if she means the torture, his being human, or his perceived fall.

                  "It's no more than I deserve." He replies, in answer to all possibilities. It's true, what she surely wants to hear, but still so meaningless all the same.

                  "Why did you turn on us, brother?" She caresses his cheek, lifting his face to look at hers. Her hand feels so warm it makes him want to cry. "You who trained so many of us, guided us, protected us from the abyss, healed our wounds. The cheif architect of heaven itself, how could you have fallen so far and gone so very wrong?"

                    "I don't know." he knows her words are just manipulation but all he wants to do is fold into her warmth and do anything to be free. But he doesn't know what lie would work and the truth doesn't.

                    "What did we do to make you abandon us, brother? You were brought back and yet left heaven. What did we do wrong?"

                    "Nothing. I... there was no place for me. I wasn't welcome. I just didn't know what to do, that's all. So I just... stayed with Michael. If anyone needed me you know I.." He doesn't know what to say. Where did these questions come from? Can you even abandon what neither wants nor needs you?

                    "Why does Lucifer have your loyalty now? Your trust?"

                    "He doesn't. Helel does." She shrinks back from him when he says the name and looks as if she wants to slap it off his lips.  He knows it must sound like an affront to refer to their brother by that name, but it's the truth as well. "He's changed. He's changing. Not as much as I'd like, but enough to accept that he's trying. And he is, he..."  Raphael just covers his face with his hands as tears threaten to come out. What's the use? Why would they believe this impossibility when he's constantly doubting it himself? "What do you want from me?"

                     "We just want the truth, Raphael. That's all."

                     "That's all I've given you."

                     The angel just sighs, shakes her head and gets up, walking out of the room, leaving him alone in the silent freezing cold. The next time he succumbs to it, he's bound, hooded, and taken yet another place.

                     "What now? A show or an audience?" He hears Helel's bored voice. Raphael's hands are raised back and suspended so that he's almost hanging by them, straining his chest and shoulders.  When his hood is removed he sees Helel a few feet from him, similarly bound, though while none of his brothers have struck of cut Raphael through direct action, that's obviously not the least true of Helel. He can see whip marks around his limbs and torso and blood and bruises on his face. It's probably only the cold that kept him from bleeding out already.

                     "Hey, Raph. How's tricks?" his brother gives him a wink and easy smile.

                    "About the same." he gives back a small smile that for the life of him he can't understand why he has. The other angels have dissappeared. He's not sure why or even if they've actually gone and aren't just in the veil. Not that it matters.

                    "So what is this the third, fourth time we've gone though pain or torture together?"

                    "I don't know. With the assault from terrible two, I guess three if you count that nightmare in your head at the cottage."

                    "You don't?" He replies, Raphael has to concede. "And don't forget that aztec temple. We weren't in the same room but they did shove me in a pit for who knows how long where I got to enjoy a lovely seizure. So I guess that's four. I love you dearly, little brother, but we have got to find a better way of getting in quality time." Raphael just has to laugh at this, though it's not really that funny.

                    "So" His ever loquatious brother continues. "Are you being questioned? Or just tortured?" Hele seems surprisingly unconcerned with all of this, but then, given what Raphael's heard about hell, it probably is pretty tame. Though there is a difference between seeing it done and having it done to you. Maybe the cold has just numbed him enough. They really didn't think this through enough.

                   "I'm not entirely sure. I'm being honest, but either they can't tell or don't care. None of them are really trained, it seems. From their questions though, it seems my grace has vanished again. I take it your attempt to get to Michael didn't go do well."

                    "No, it went fine actually. I set off a combination emp and dispelling potion in the bunker to get his grace. It took care of pretty much everything. Except for a few locks of course, but that was a peice of cake. Nah, they caught me on the way back from the abyss."

                   "You got to Michael?" Raphael can't help but feel hope welling up inside him at the news.

                   "Of course. Unfortunately she's not ready, so we'll have to just hold out for as long as we can. And don't do any more stupid things like actually answering questions when you know they won't believe you. You're with me now.  No one who knows either of us will ever believe a word you say ever again."

                   "True enough, you do have a bit of a reputation as a liar and corrupting influence. So why did they just leave us alone together?" He looks around, not that he could see into the veil. If he could there'd be a problem.

                   "I dunno. Probably hoping we'd say something we wouldn't otherwise. Which is just dumb because even if we were lying we wouldn't be dumb enough to fall for this. I invented crap like this and you've been seeing through my bullshit for Days. I swear, these kids are amatuers and way in over their heads. So one of us will probably die accidentally soon enough. I'm hoping it's you."

                    "Thanks, you asshole."

                    "C'mon, you know you'd be the one with the chance of getting brought back, and not by people who'd just torture you more. And I still need to rescue Gabriel. I'm pretty sure she's in Mictlan, so just in case I'm the one who bites it, my current theory is that she was kidnapped by Xolotl and held in the Aztec underworld. Probably as a misguided attempt to protect her or something as they're supposed to be besties. Or I'm wrong and he's another ex lover who's just gone off the rails. Seriously, what is it with her and pagans anyway?"  he shakes his head in disgust.

                    "She didn't marry one, at least." Raphael reminds him.

                     "That much is true." The fact that he looks as if it's a consolation, is probably the biggest sign of his reform to date. "Shall we sing annoying songs until they're forced to come back from the veil and torture us again?"

                     "Why not? I don't have anything better to do." Raphael smiles. Nothing like a distraction from the pain. "Do you know The Song That Has No End?"

                     "Of course," Helel sounds offended that he even has to ask. It takes about an hour of almost nonstop singing before they come back, and Helel manages an hour after Raphael's voice gives out before they're forced to beat him unconcious to make him stop. Which of course leads Raphael to discover that whatever they used to block his prayers from reaching beyond the building, it does not keep it from the angels inside. And prayers don't actually have to be spoken aloud. Unfortunately that just escalates matters and the hands free torture policy they for some reason had him place for him is quickly ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Itzy Was Talking About When Telling Alex About Her Life
> 
> If you missed the episode "Alex Annie Alexis Anne" Alex was kidnapped as a child by a family of vampires and used to draw sexual predators back to her house where the family would feed on them. Sometimes they would drink her own blood when the pickings were slim. They did turn her into a vampire by the end of the episode, but since she hadn't fed, she was able to be turned back.
> 
> The destroyer of all is Fenrisulfr, Rhys, who according to norse mythology, is the wolf who's supposed to end the world by devouring Odin at armaggeddon. Like his father, Loki, he and his siblings reject the whole thing and refuse to play their assigned roles. 
> 
> Poor Alex is still feeling the effects of the tranquilizer for most of that conversation, it doesn't let her be very articulate, not that it would have helped things any, though.


	53. Out of the Frying pan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is rescued from Mictlan only to discover that she Alex and Claire are now in an even worse predicament.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mictlan
> 
> The aztec underworld had nine levels, which actually corresponded in some way to the nine phases of decomposition that a dead body undergoes. It's pretty interesting actually. I would have loved to explore it more than I did, but the journey from the first to the last level takes four years. I was not about to leave Alex with that psycho for four years, nor was I about to let Sam potentially miss four years of his daughters life or worse, given there was no way that Gabriel would have stayed put once she gave birth. I feel bad enough for what I did to them already.

               It was a surprisingly dull journey. Nine days and nights of walking down a winding river. As soon as her foot touched the water in Apoanohuaia ice formed beneath it like a large stepping stone, then underneath the next and the next, leaving pillars of ice that got dissolved and swept away by the current as soon as he lifted her foot again. The earthquakes and crushing mountains of Tepectli Manamictlan kind of made her think of that stupid scene in the hobbit movie, but none of that touched her in the river. Not even the falling rocks reached her.

             Then there was Iztepel with all those odd grey knives all over the place, except of course in the river bed. The winds and snow of Izteecayan didn't seem to touch her at all, leaving her feeling just as temperate as she was in any other climate. The river was iced over at that point, but her bare feet gripped the icy top as firmly as if it was a sidewalk. Paniecatacoyan was a bit more of a trial as there were just dead bodies everywhere, floating in the river and even in the air. It was hard to avoid both stepping on them or getting smacked in the face with one. She almost regretted not getting to see Timiminaloayen, Teocoyocualloa or Izmictlan. she was curious about the invisible arrows, what kind of animals tried to eat the souls and about the fog, but the river just cut straight to Chicunamictlan. It even went right to Mictlantecuhtli's palace where Quetzalcoatl said Xolotl has taken up residence.

             As Claire waits for the sun to start to rise over Mictlan a thought occurs to her. Bree's not going to be happy when she finds out Claire shot her son and gave her older brother over to be tortured by her younger siblings. It seems an odd thing to her to have been unaware of, or even to just not have thought of sooner. In fact she probably won't be too happy with the idea of making Raphael suffer everything he'd made other's suffer, either.

             Though, logically, she should be fine with it. It's justice isn't it? Gabriel's not just god's messenger she's the archangel of justice and judgement. She loves her brother, of course, but even she has to admit that she should be punished and in a way equal to his crimes. An eye for an eye. Balanced, fair, and then just a little extra to discourage potential future transgressors.

            An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

            The thought makes her heart ache and feel as if it's going to break. She doesn't even know where it came from. Alex said that once, didn't she? But it's a quote. Not actually from Ghandi, she remembers that much of the lecture. Claire rubs at her chest until the feeling subsides. She pauses to look at her fingers. They're so white. Were they always this pale? She's always been fair skinned, but there's not the faintest hint of pink anywhere. It seems wrong, but nothing hurts or feels anyway it shouldn't. Everything moves just fine.

            She removes the headdress and runs her fingers back through her hair. What is she doing? Saving Bree. That's right. The river goes underneath the palace. Right in the center is a stairway leading up to a kitchen. Food is cooking, but she can't smell anything. The halls are empty except for artwork and sculptures. All of dogs black and beige playing or chasing. None enflagrante though, which is odd seeing as there's invariably some sort of depiction of sexual acts in a collection this size. Playing 'find the porn' is pretty much how she got through family trips to the art museum with Alex and Jody.

            She can hear a voice scolding someone in some foreign language. Then Bree's voice cheekily responds in the same. Claire can't help but smile. It sounds as if Bree's being as big a pain in the ass to these people as she was in the hospital. Claire ducks out of sight as a person exits a room from the end of the hall. He passes with a tray under his arm. He stops breifly at the other end of the hall and utters a frustrated exclamation about Xolotl before resuming his course. 

           It's odd that there don't seem to be any guards. But then again, it's not as if Bree can go very far in her condition. Claire takes out her knife anyways. For some reason the gun didn't cross over with her. As she nears the room the man came out of, she can hear Bree speaking softly in enochian, practically cooing. Probably chatting the the baby. She'd frequently stop and do so whenever they spoke on the phone.

           Claire peers through the doorway but there's no one but Bree. She looks about the same as the last time Claire saw her. Maybe a little rounder in the stomach. Well, not just a little. She looks properly pregnant now, and comfortably very well taken care of. She seems to be acting out a story with two plush dogs as if the baby can somehow see it. Probably practicing for later, though the biggest question is if Bree actually has stories that are even slightly suitable for children.

          She doesn't exactly look like a prisoner either. though you wouldn't have to do much to keep her in this realm. But she looks fairly comfortable. Definitely not as if she's in enemy territory. Doubt starts to fill Claire's mind, telling her to ask. Just ask her about Xolotl and Coa-coa and all of this. Another part doesn't want to face her at all. That part chips away at her heart the longer she stands there doing nothing.

         "Bree." Claire steps in the door way. Bree looks up from the bed, a smile lighting up her face.

         "You little shit." She beams proudly and turns herself so she's sitting on the edge of the bed. Her prosthetic is gone but she tries to stand up anyways. Claire quickly reaches her before she can fall over. She doesn't quite have the same sense of balance at the moment. Not that standing on one leg with an enormous pregnant belly would have been easy even without high blood pressure making her dizzy. "Look at you, you hunter you. Invading Mictlan." she has been talking to her stomach way too long. "Ah, kiddo, I am so glad to see you, you have no idea." If the size of the hug she gives her is any indication, about as much as she'd be glad to see a gigantic bar of chocolate. "Is Krissy with you?"

          "No, we... she and Harahel had business to attend to. Alex is waiting for us back at the temple. Are you alright? And Michele?" Claire puts a hand to Bree's stomach. "Hey, kid." She can't help but smile as the baby kicks her or head buts her or something.

           "Are you alright? You seem a little cold." Bree puts a hand to her cheek and forhead. "And pale."

           "I'm fine." Claire lies as the pain in her chest starts to return. "Bree..." she's not sure what she wants to say. "Let's get you back to the land of the living." Claire takes the small horn from around her neck. Bree's face looks a bit surprised.

            "Where did you get that?"

            "Your ex is making up for stealing your boots." Claire forces a smile and plays the tune Quetzalcoatl showed her.

            "He is not my ex. We had a business transaction, not a love affair. At best it was a one night stand." She protests as swarms of butterflies start to surround them. It gets to thick they're forced to close their eyes. Who knew that the flapping of a butterflies wings had a sound? The room they return to is ornate and golden with a golden lounge for Bree to sit on. She almost falls over though as Claire finds herself suddenly insubstantial. "Claire?" Bree reaches out for her.

             "I'm right here." Claire tries to touch her shoulder but her hand passes right through her. Oh, right, he told her to return to him first thing. "I'll be right back." she informs her though she probably can't hear it, and walks back out into the halls following the pull of her own flesh. When she reaches the room with the alter she can see her own body left carelessly on the floor where it fell, but what really catches her attention is the sight of Queztalcoatl standing over Alex's bare bloody body taking a bit of a raw human heart.

              "You're back." he seems unconcerned and takes the jade grace from around his neck touching it to the wound on Alex's chest. A brightness flared from it and Alex's eyes open again. There's so much blood, all over her, the alter, the ground. And not all of it fresh. A sense of terror wells up within her shattering her numb heart within her. "Is Coyotl in her room?"

              "YOU BASTARD!" she lunges at him but he reaches out a bloody hand and halts her in her tracks. Something familiar strikes at her core, cooling the boiling rage within her.

              "Now, now girl. There's no need for that." he scolds her. "No preistess should speak that way to her god." She should if that god is a bastard.

              "Is that her heart? Are you eating Alex's heart?" She demands, the hot fury resurging.

              "You brought me a sacrifice. Did you think I wouldn't use it?" He raises an eyebrow, flexing his hand again. His words calm her though it shouldn't. "I know it's a poor excuse for a ritual. There should be five other preists and in truth you should have removed and offered it to me yourself, but it was an important errand so you're excused."

              "Fuck you, I never brought you a damn sacrifice."

              "She was your prisoner wasn't she? From the battle with Raphael?"

              "No!" he gives her a skeptical look, like a mother catching a child with chocolate on his face lying about getting into the halloween candy. "I brought her here to be protected. To keep her safe and secure."

              "You should have clarified. But she's fine as you can see." he glances back at the alter where Alex, though physically restored is crying and straining against the icy binding across her wrists ankles and throat. How the hell can he call that fine? "This is so useful." he holds up the jadeite grace. "With this one sacrifice becomes hundreds. Oh, you don't know how long I've gone without a proper meal. Not that this is anything like a proper meal. She's unwilling, imperfect, defiled, but she is brave. She still hasn't begged or pleaded with me at all. If only she would submit willingly." he shakes his head with a whistful smile and takes another bite of her heart.

               "You bastard."

               "You've lost perspective." He walks over to Claire's body and presses against it's heart with an empty but grasping fist, peircing Claire's own more firmly than whatever he did before. "It's time to return to reason." Claire feels herself jerked back into her body. The anger and outrage cools like water dousing a flame and chills to ice, but her thoughts don't change.

               "I brought her here for her protection. To save her and to save Bree and ensure Raphael gets the punishment he deserves." She draws her knife.

               "You should have clarified. Are you so ignorant that you don't know what prisoners of war are for?" He accuses her. "And how am I supposed to stand against your gods and obtain justice for us without my strength? One willing sacrifice would give me more than a hundred of these pitiful scraps, but I don't have it."

               "If you need a willing sacrifice, then you have one, just don't ever lay another hand on her again do you understand me?" she puts the knife away.

               "Of course." he smiles and waves his hands to the alter, dissolving the shackles of ice. Alex just curls up into herself, turning onto her side. Claire takes off her feathered cape and covers her with it. Was it really neccessary to remove all her clothes? Of course clothing stiff with dried blood isn't exactly comfortable and it is hot, so possibly.

              "Don't..." Alex grabs her robe. "Don't do this. Claire... Don't feed him. He's after everyone."

              "He's after justice, Alex. I know you like him, but Raphael has to pay for his crimes."

               "This isn't about how I feel about some damn angel, Claire! And it sure as hell isn't about justice! What's wrong with you? The Claire Novak I know would never..."

               "What do you know?" She interrupts her, coldly. "That heaven and hell ripped my entire world apart? Over and over. They took my family from me. Not that I'd expect you to understand. When someone murders your family you just make them your new one. You don't deserve to be saved, but I'm saving you, so show a little grattitude." Claire hauls her to her feet and half shoves her towards the hall. Alex looks over to the Aztec who smiles at her and takes another bite of her unworthy heart.

              "Take her to the first cell. She can't be trusted loose." As if she has to be told that. "Keep her away from the Coyote as well." She doesn't have to be told that either, but he does love to hear himself talk. Alex is silent for most of the way.

              "Does Bree know what you've done?" She asks a question that doesn't deserve a response, so Claire doesn't give one. "Does she, Claire?"

              "She's the archangel of justice. She'll understand that it had to be done." Claire replies, though a small hot voice says that it didn't and she won't. "It's not as if she doesn't have crimes to pay for as well. She should be grateful she's being spared."

              "Claire, this isn't like you. You... you don't know what you're doing. Please just think about this. Itzlacoliuqui is not a good god and they're not exactly temperate. Raphael's grace isn't going to last forever, he can't just keep killing and resurrecting people endlessly, especially not with missing peices. What then? How many people are going to die to satisfy him? Do you want to replace heaven and hell with this? Their heaven fell apart centuries ago. Their underworld is no better than hell. Do you want a world of endless bloody sacrifice, war and chaos?"

               "I want justice, Alex."

                "You won't get it, Claire. He doesn't even know what it really is. What's more, he doesn't care. Would any sort of just god kill and... and...just over and over again for days upon days? Even if you think I deserve to die for trying to protect Raphael, how many times is enough? How many times do I have to have him rip my heart from my chest before you're satisfied? How many times do I have to be brought back and.. and violated," Alex starts to tremble, pulling the cape more tightly around her shoulders. "You'd think killing me would be enough. But when is enough ever enough for gods like that?"

                 "Alex..." Claire falters as her words bring a pain in her chest so sharp that it forces her to gasp for breath. "Alex, I'm burning..." Her grip on Alex's arms releases just as Alex turns to try and grab hold of her to keep her from falling. Where Alex's hands touch her skin it sets her nerves aflame, ending the numbness that encompassed her entire being. A war of fire and ice take over from within.

                "Claire? Claire!"

       

             The butterflies disappear, leaving Gabriel alone in a beautifully decorated apartment that's all too familiar and not the least comforting. This is one of the apartments they pampered the sacrifices before they were given up to the gods. Claire is nowhere to be seen. She tries to look around but her balance is off thanks to the giant moose growing in her stomach and she almost falls over again. There's a brief chill on her arms as if something tried to grab hold of her.

            "Claire?" She reaches out but there's nothing, just the lounge beside her that she sits on a bit harder than she intended. So Claire is working with Quetzalcoatl? And they left her damn leg back in Mictlan. Well what is time spent with Xolotl without Murphy's law taking full effect? Of course it wasn't his fault really, but that bitch Meli took it when she kept trying to explore without him. Xolotl just avoided her entirely after that last argument making it pretty lonely.

            If Lucifer killed Coatlicue then there's going to be trouble from Coa-coa at the very least. More accurately from one of his other faces. Quetzalcoatl was a moderately good and fairly benevolent god, but the other two are definitely not. They rarely rear their heads, but they're not gods she would ever want either Claire of Alex near. It's bad enough they met Coa-coa that time in Tiajuana.

          There's a torch stand by the door that will have to do as a kind of crutch or walking stick, or even a staff. Not that she's anywhere near as good with a staff as Raphael, but it's better than nothing. Since hopping over will both likely send her crashing to the floor and definitely piss off Shelly who only just settled down, Gabriel gets down on her hands and knees, well knee and stump, and crawls over. Not her favorite position but it has it's good points. Not clanging on the stone floors being one of them. So, dignity aside, she breaks the end off the torch stand and just carries it in her mouth as she leaves the room. When she needs speed more than stealth, she'll have it.

          This brings back some odd memories. Of course Sleipnir didn't kick nearly as badly and he had eight legs. She still can't figure out how the hell that even happened and why she couldn't fix it. She could have thought it was a prank by another trickster but they'd never have been able to keep quiet about doing it. And that's giving the impossibility of one sneaking into her territory without her knowing.

           The layout is fairly odd. not only is everything on the wrong level, but the base architecture is clearly Incan and not Aztec. Not to mention the red sandstone in the cracks of the tiles. She can hear Alex's voice bouncing off the walls long before the words become clear.

           "... ever enough for gods like that." She sounds as if she's about to break down into tears.

           "Alex..." Claire sounds even more distressed and maybe a little guilty? There's a low pained sound that might be words but aren't quite clear.

           "Claire? Claire!" At Alex's cry, Gabriel pushes himself up and uses the stand as a crutch, rushing towards the sounds as fast as she can. Not much faster than crawling but enough. At the next corner she see's Claire collapsed on the floor in that same priestess robe she was wearing in Mictlan though the feathered cape is over Alex's shoulders. It takes a moment to realize Alex's ragged red and brown tunic is actually just streaks of fresh and dried blood covering her body.

           "It's okay, Alex. It's me." She blinks a moment trying to get the blur from her vision before getting the rest of the way over. "What happened?" She feels for a pulse but Claire's wrist is ice cold, colder even than it was in Mictlan, as is the ever bit of her she touches. There is a pulse though. It's so slow it's almost nonexistent, but when it's there it's strong. Her breathing is so shallow she's not sure that she'd really even make a mist on a reflective surface. But the air coming out of her is as cold as she is.

           "I don't know, that Aztec, whichever one she was talking to must have done something to her. She just keeps talking about justice..."

           "Itzlacoliuqui then." Gabriel scowls. "When did that asshole emerge? His idea of justice is the avenge seven fold kind. How did Claire get mixed up with him?" She puts a hand on Claire's chest over her heart and has to draw back her hand at several spots of cold so fierce they bite at her hand, turning the parts that touched it almost white. "This is a new trick. Do you know where Itzy is?"

           "Probably still eating my heart." Alex says blankly. Gabriel looks up at her. Oviously she's alive and with heart, but she doesn't sound as if she's joking. "He has Raphael's grace. He can rip out your heart, bring you back and eat it right in front of your eyes." Her voice sounds so hollow. That absolute bastard.

           "We'll get him, Alex. I promise. Here. Give me that knife and the cloak." She takes off her own robe. She at least has some avengers underoos underneath hers. Alex raises an eyebrow at them. "What? it's a gift from my blood brother from the baby shower. It's kind of a running gag with us. I sent him a mjolner paperweight for Christmas, and that stupid helmet for his birthday." She takes a quetzal feather from the robe and sweeps it in a still wet patch of Alex's blood before she can cover it with the tunic. "Sorry. It works better with the blood of the target." she apologizes and tries to remember the incantation. "Oh, that's right." As she speaks she waves the feather in front of Alex. North, south, west, east, front, back, and hands it to her.

          "Hold this feather and Quetzalcoatl and his incarnations won't be able to see you or hear you. It'll only work for you and only so long as you keep hold of it and don't touch him in any way. I'm going to assume you already tried praying for rescue, and am also guessing that means the temple is angel proofed in way too many damn ways. So I need you to get outside and pray to any angel around to bring Sam and Dean here ASAP. I'll see what I can do for Claire if anything." She pats her cheek.

           "Bree." Alex holds tightly to the feather. "She turned Raphael in to the other angels and gave me to Itz... Itzy. And he's trying to destroy all of you. So please, be careful. Whatever's wrong with her, her head is just all messed up right now. It has been since she found out Raphael was the first to obliterate Castiel." She emphasizes 'the first' for some reason.

            "Why should that....Oh, dad, no." Gabriel covers her mouth as she realizes. Alex gives a sort of wincing half smile in sympathy. She knew that Claire's dad was Castiel's vessel. She's knows how they met and he became like a surrogate, fulfilling his promise to take care of Jimmy's family, and she knew that Raphael killed Castiel that time, but it just didn't register. It just didn't and it should have. The vessels themselves just tend to fall by the way side far too often, and that's more unforgivable than the death itself. No wonder he was able to get his claws into her. "I understand." Alex starts to get up but stops to give Gabriel a hug.

            "I'm glad you and Michele are okay."

           "Yeah, we're..." Gabriel stops as she hopes to all that is that Michele has just kicked her bladder again.

            "Bree?" Alex looks down. "Did your water just break?"

            "I'm hoping beyond hope that I just wet myself. Shelly here has taken to playing kickball with my damn bladder after all."

            "There's blood."

            "Yeah, you'd better haul ass then, kiddo." Gabriel smacks Alex's butt propelling her on her way. Great, weeks early, medication-less in an Incan turned Aztec temple somewhere in south America probably and now most likely a dry birth on top of that? No. Hell, no. Not going to happen. She's not even having contractions yet.  "Damnit, Shelly, this is not the time. Why are you so impatient? You know, even if you do come out, I'm not letting you fight an Aztec god, you silly brat." She teases and goes back to Claire, keeping hold of the knife, just in case. They'd better get here soon.

          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't know, having your water break before you even have any contractions is not a frequent event. However since that happened to me, twice, once with half of some very premature twins, I felt justified in it happening to Gabriel. Write what you know, right? Besides there had to be some sort of results to having been kidnapped by the God of misfortune. Something had to go wrong. Nothing can be more wrong than going into labor while trying to escape the temple of a homicidal megalomaniacal aztec god. 
> 
> XOLOTL and MELI  
> When Meli stops in the hall and fusses, he's looking at the water on the floor (that claire accidentally left behind her) and blaming his husband, Xolotl. Xolotl not only takes the form of a dog but that of an Axolotl (atl "water" plus xolotl 'dog') an aquatic salamander that doesn't grow lungs and take to land when it matures like most amphibians. He frequently uses the river entrance, especially when he's forgotten something, which he usually does in the summer heat and is sometimes late to guide the sun because of it. Meli tended to lecture him over this delay, so he sneaks in and out when he can, but ends up leaving water on the floor half the time, earning a double scolding when he returns.
> 
> THE CONNECTING RIVER  
> You might wonder, why, if there's a river connecting all the levels of mictlan with just nine days travel, do the dead not just take it instead of journeying four years. The explanation is that the water flows away from Chicuna Mictlan to Apanohuaia and very quickly at that, so if at any point, any souls notice it's the same river and decide to try a short cut they're just swept right back to the beginning. Plus it wasn't always there. Xolotl ended up needing a shortcut once he took over for Mictlantecuhtli.


	54. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing like the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is betrayed.  
> Gabriel teaches an Aztec god a thing or two about justice.  
> Alex makes her position about Raphael very clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luci really doesn't give his siblings enough credit. If he did, he'd probably have done things a little differently. 'It's for your own good only' goes so far. 
> 
> But still he and Gabriel are both such badasses, it's fantastic.
> 
> Old Norse  
> Daufi-stupid  
> gleidr-bowlegged  
> qlfuss- drunkard

 

          "You do know that torturing people doesn't really work in terms of getting actual truthful information, right?" Helel really doesn't know when to shut up. At all, ever. And all it does is make them focus their attentions on torturing him and not Raphael. "It's probably the least effective way to do it, honestly. I mean, I do understand if it's just about hating me and making me suffer and seeing how long it takes to break me. I did create hell after all, but you could at least be honest about it. I mean, show a little integrity. You're angels. Own it.  And stop asking pointless questions. I mean, what could I possibly say that you'd ever believe?" he gives Raphael a wink to let him know that despite his injuries he's just fine, the liar.

         One of the barbs from the cat-o-nine-tails catches on the ropes binding Helel's arms back eleveated behind his back and it breaks sending him to the floor. Raphael can briefly see the bloody mess of his back where the pattern of birthmarks he created was. It seems they focused especially hard on that area.

          "Amateurs." Helel mutters before passing out. Their brothers don't move to heal him or pick him up or put him back in any way, probably enjoying the break from his taunting mockery. They could have just taken his voice away, but if he couldn't physically answer then they couldn't pretend they were interrogating them. They really don't know what they're doing though, not even a little. It's entirely possible that Helel will die right there on the floor before they even think heal the horrible injuries inflicted on him. Honestly though, Raphael doubts that they would even care.

         "He's going to die like that." He informs them. Only one of them even looks concerned by the prospect. "Please... I'll do or say whatever you want just stop hurting him. Help him, please." He feels ashamed at his pointless outburst. It won't do any good, they don't care, and it doesn't matter. He just can't bear it anymore. No matter the brave face and false laughter at their tormenters, Raphael knows just how badly his brother is hurting. If they want a confession to justify what they've done, he'll give it. He'll forgive excuse them everything in front of everything there is if only they'll stop torturing his brother.

         "We want the truth." The statement fills him with despair.

         "I've been giving you the truth since the first question. It won't stop being the truth just because you don't believe it. So just tell me what you want me to say.  I'll say it, I don't care. Or is he right and this is nothing but torture for the sake of torture?" The disgusted looks they give him, either for his begging or the hot tears burning his frozen cheeks, spark a rage deep inside him. "It doesn't matter, you know. What I say, or sign or confess or even if you kill us both. In the end nothing is going to save you from Michael." She won't be back in time to save them, that much is clear, but he knows, beyond anything he could ever know that she will make them pay for this beyond the torments of hell itself. The look on several of their faces seems to show that they've reached that conclusion as well. Did they forget that death isn't forever anymore? Or do they not believe that Helel actually went to bring Michael back.

        "You really think that Michael would take up for you? After everything you've done?" The least impressed replies, his voice dripping with disdain. "After you abandoned him at his weakest point, left him to death and the abyss. You betrayed him, Raphael, for this evil bastard, his greatest enemy." He steps forwards towards Helel, but when he nears him, Helel rolls over, catching the angel with his legs, sending him to the ground beside him. The other angels rush forwards but Helel's freed his hands on one of their blades, damaging his right wrist in the process. He's also taken one of the blades.

         "Close your eyes," He orders Raphael over the sound of breaking windows. There's the sound of an explosion, several in fact. And he's splashed with what smells like paint, which would have most certainly gotten in his eyes if he wasn't warned. The suffocating fumes break his tenuous hold on consciousness and he blacks out, waking to Helel wiping the paint off his face. "You awake?" His brother asks. Raphael nods. "If I cut your hands free, can you stand? I can't carry you."

          "I don't know." He replies, a sort of giddy relief and happiness welling up inside the pain.

          "Fair enough." Helel cuts the rope. It seems he can't, but Helel doesn't even try to help him stand. He just lets him stumble into a sort of sitting position. It's okay, though, he's not entirely sure how his brother is still standing himself. "You." Helel turns and walks away. Raphael looks up to see a blurry vision of an angel pinned to the wall, two blades in each limb. On the floor are seven dead angels, their wings burned into the bloody concrete floor. Helel killed them. All Raphael feels at the sight is a fierce pride in his big brother, human, weak, tortured and he was still more than a match for seven of their brethren. He should probably regret their deaths and likely will at some point but at this moment he's nothing short of glad. "Still with us, paseh?" Helel pats the man's cheek. The angel just manages a defiant glare, not helped by the trembling lip, indicating the imminent outburst of frightened tears. "You are such idiots, you know that?"

           "Helel." Raphael interrupts as the ropes around his hands won't loosen any. "Could you free my arms before you start tortmenting anyone?"

          "You know, Raph, you're really not as bright as I thought you were either." the asshole teases him.

          "Yes, I know. I was captured and didn't respond properly to torture or whatever the fuck else I did wrong. Helel, please just untie my hands and lecture me later?"

          "My NAME is Lucifer." His brother snaps. What? "Helel ben Sahar was a foolish worthless drone trying too hard for too long to please an impossible father. He is long since gone and I can't believe you actually thought you could bring him back." Raphael's breath catches in his throat as he looks up to see the icy coldness return to his brother's empty eyes, though on his face is a mocking smile. He wants to say something, tell him it's not any funnier this time than the last, but he can't bring himself to speak. "Do you know what this little brat did?" Helel leans against the wall, snatching a blade from the angel's arm. "He went into my mind, MY mind, and tried to torture me with everything I've ever done or felt or seen. As if I wasn't already aware.  As if some trip down memory lane would break me down and make me mend my ways.

           "You don't have to worry about Michael coming back and kicking your ass for torturing his precious favorite little brother, though." The jealous and nasty tone he takes makes Raphael feel sick. No... no, no no. "Michael's grace? I left it with him alright. Trapped in it's bottle, locked in a box behind a wall of ice that no one can get past but me because I made the poor weak bastard love me before he died. You will never get him back. Ever."

            "No..." Raphael struggles to try and get to his feet, but he can't. That can't be true. It can't be.

            "I wanted to thank you, baby brother. If you didn't make heaven hate you so badly they'd hunt you down and torture you behind Castiel's back. I don't think they'd ever have been distracted enough for me to get into the abyss, or even the bunker." Helel... Lucifer walks back over to kneel down by Raphael, putting a hand on his chest to keep him from falling forwards. "They don't even know you at all, thinking you'd have anything to do with me if you didn't truly believe I'd reformed. Please, even I knew better than that."

           "What are you doing? Why are you saying this?"

           "Isn't that what all of you want? The truth? The cold hard painful horrible truth that you believe? " Lucifer gives him a faux innocent look. "I just wanted you to know, before I send you back to the abyss, that I truly honestly hate you with every fiber of my being. I've always hated you. The only thing of value about you was your grace and you couldn't even keep that, could you? But guess who has it now? I do, I have since these stupid bastards first stole you from that hotel room. Which makes you completely and utterly useless to me, you stupid arrogant impertinent little brat. And I'll have Gabriel's grace soon enough as well."

           "No," Raphael shakes his head. This isn't real, this is just a hallucination or illusion. It wasn't all a lie. He knows it wasn't. It couldn't have been. This isn't his brother speaking to him, it can't be. "I don't believe you."

           "Well believe this. I have never cared about you, not since the day you were created. I couldn't even pretend to, that's how little you mattered to me. Why would I possibly start to now? You are nothing more to me but a band aid and never were. You actually thought that I could love you? You are less than nothing and I have enjoyed every minute of watching you suffer. I'm almost sorry it's over, but well... all good things." A sharp pain pierces him through, Helel's blade sliding past the cold and into his very core. "Good bye, little brother." Lucifer pats his shoulder and gets back to his feet. "And good riddance."

           The last thing Raphael sees is Lucifer taking a grill lighter from some demon and setting the wall around the trapped angel on fire.

 

          Gabriel takes a deep breath as her stomach tightens. It's not too bad. The Braxton Hicks get as bad as this. But it and the headaches combined make her want to throw up. Where the hell are they? Did Alex get lost? Maybe.

          "It was to be expected I suppose." She looks up to see Itzlacoliuqui standing beside them. He's looking down at Claire shaking his head. "She's so stubborn. Do you know how many times I've had to peirce her heart? How many darts it finally took to make it stay frozen? And even then it couldn't keep hold completely. Amazing. She is of course, useless now. I'd have to thaw her out completely to get her heart out even close to properly and really, why bother?"

          "Don't you dare lay a hand on her." Gabriel slams the torch stand between him and Claire.

          "Silly old coyote, you have no teeth." he touches the stand, freezing it until it shatters. Gabriel snatches her half frozen hands back to her chest reflexively, curling over it. Itzy bends over and picks up Claire. "She might thaw enough to wake up. She's a hell of a fighter. And brave too. I hope she does. She's offered herself up as a sacrifice, you know. Can you imagine how filling she'll be?" He smirks and walks back down the hall. Hell no, he is not taking Claire, that bastard. He's not taking either of them. Not while she has a breath left in her body. Gabriel stalks down the hallway on all fours, pausing for the contractions, the blade concealed by the cloak in the underoos waist band.

            A stone knife with runes against creatures of the sky. Obviously gotten for Alex to help her deal with Rhys girlfreind, but Quetzalcoatl is a wind god and what's more the winged serpant is the original face of the three gods, the origin of Itzlacoliuqui and Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli both. To get rid of them you have to get rid of him. But it's so hard to get Coa-coa to show his true face any more. The last time she saw it was in an argument with Xolotl where he lost his temper so badly he reverted to his light skinned and haired form. Well, she certainly knows how to piss people off. Sometimes she thinks it's her best skill.

             Granted she'd rather not have to try to take down an aztec god while going into labor, but at least he won't expect it of her. All three of them are so damn arrogant. Sure Coa-coa used to be one of the good ones, but that was a relative term and if itzy and Uizy are doing anything it's not without his cooperation, not that Uizy really does much. Damn it, he was supposed to be smarter than this. He was supposed to know better than to fuck with humanity, much less with her freinds and family.

             "You know, that might be the best position for a horse, but for humans, no so much." The cocky bastard mocks her, stepping out from the room ahead.

             "Fuck you, Coa-coa."

             "Now might not be the best time, lover." He crouches down to smile at her.

             "Fuck yourself, Bleached seive." She snarls, a contraction wrapping tighter than that damn fetal monitor. His eyes flash at the old olmec insult geared to albinos and he grabs her chin.

             "What did you just call me?"

             "Bleached seive." she repeats rising up on her knee and stump. "That's what you are aren't you? Empty one?"

             "How dare you address me that way."

              "You think I don't know what you are? Some albino brat from long long ago. You should have been left to die but we never could have been that lucky could we?"The amazement in his eyes coupled with a little fear shows her wild guess is right on the mark. "You reek of humanity Coa-coa. Even if they didn't know, you're so... nouveau riche in everything you do. Self sacrifice? Willing victims? Please, what god give a rats ass about that? You pretend to be good but you're just playing to the crowd.

              "But it never works, though, does it? Do you know how many gods I've seen rise and fall? Very few survive as many utter failures as you did. you couldn't keep the Olmecs, the Taltecs, the  Mayans, the Teotihucan or the Aztecs, could you?"

               "Your damn brother, that monster Raphael was to blame for those! He destroyed two continents of my people!" There's a flicker but it's not enough.

               "Bullshit! You were hit by pestilence and invaders both. He came to  protect and defend you all from the diseases that wiped you out so badly you lost to outsiders. So what if he failed to save everyone? He locked Pestilance away into the ice, which is more than you did." Not that she knows the whole story, but seriously taking on a horseman without being allowed to destroy him? That's a hell of a task and impressive at that and exhausting as well, especially limited to a vessel.

              "He didn't just fail, he left. He abandoned them all to death."

               "So what? So what if he locked up pestilence and left. You were their damn gods, where were you when your people were sick and dying? They sacrificed to you, not him. Not our father. you were the ones they beseeched and prayed to and gave themselves and their children to. They were your responsibility not his. The failure was YOURS!"  The dark skinned facade fades into his rage, revealing the yellow hair and pale skin of his true form. When he raises a fist to strike at her, she whips out the dagger and plunges it into his heart, angling it to the side to peirce under the breastbone, back and forth, just to be sure.

               The light leaves his eyes. A body remains. Of course. Well, she can't leave it like this. Some idiot might try to resurrect him. She removes the necklace with her brothers jade bound grace from around his neck, careful not to let it touch his skin. The damn thing resurrected Nick somehow, who knows what it'll do, or why. It's placed to the side and she cuts through his diaphragm reaching in to remove his heart.

               A dark part of her she though she'd put behind her, wants to take a bite of it or give it to Alex. He ate her heart, she should get to eat his, that absolute utter bastard. Shelly kicks, reminding her that even if she could excuse eating sort of human flesh, she'd kind of be feeding it to her unborn child in the proccess. Raising a nephilim will be hard enough without giving it a taste for long pig en utero. She's fairly sure Alex wouldn't eat it anyways.

               She'll just have to take and burn it. Offer it up to herself maybe? No, her siblings wouldn't understand. Well, Luci, might but that's not exactly a vote in favor of it. She should probably take his head, too. Just to be safe. It's surprisingly hard to cut off a head with a medium length stone knife. and even harder to find a way to hold it without making her even more off balance. She ends up having to hold the heart in one hand, the knife in the other and carry the head in her mouth by the hair. There's really just no other way.

              Thank goodness her brothers can't see her right now. They would freak. Of course when she enters the room with the alter, her darling husband and his brother are just entering from the doorway on the wall to her left.

              "Jesus Fucking Christ!" That idiot Dean whips his gun out at the sight of her. Her hair is probably a mess right now.

              "Alright, who just took a picture?"  Sam turns back at the sight and sound of a flash from an unmuted camera phone.

              "Sam." Gabriel drops the head and spits out the hairs that remained in her mouth. Yuchh."I'm having contractions and Claire has been frozen by this asshole and I have Raphael's grace. Who cares about a goddamn picture!" Holy fuck, holy fuck that one hurts. Are they supposed to come on this fast? Sam is at her side in an instant, trying to pick her up but nope, if he fucking moves her she's going to kill him and there is nothing she can do about that. "Unless you're injecting me with morphine, do not fucking touch me right now you bastard." She grabs his collar.

              "Where's Claire?" Dean demands.

               "I don't know. He brought her in here or through here. I'm in labor, you daufi gleidr qlfuss, I can't play twenty fucking questions right now!"

              "Bree." Alex is beside her, handing her some coca leaves,of course, now that the contractions finally end.

              "Bless you, my child." She grabs her face and kisses each cheek. "For you." Gabriel takes the coca leaves with her clean hand and hands Alex Coa-coas bloody heart with the other. "Happy valentines day. It is valentines day, isn't it?"

              "In about three hours."

              "Ah."

              "What is that?" Sam asks, referring to the leaves hopefully. He should be able to recognize a semi-human heart when he sees one.

              "Pain killer. relax it's all natural." She winks placing as many leaves as she can reasonably chew in her mouth. "Where's Raphael? I have his grace, but I'd really just feel better if he was nearby."

              "Nightshade is all natural, too. What is it?"

              "Coca leaves! They used them for contractions all the time, Sam." She sighs.

              "You can't take precursors of cocaine when you have high blood pressure! Spit it out!" he demands in alarm, going actually so far as to grab her jaw until she does so. "Babe. I'm taking you outside. There are angels there. They will take us back to the hospital, okay?"

               "Sam..."

               "Just remind yourself, we are going towards a licensed anaesthesiologist, and away from the bloody floor in the volcanic ruins of an ancient incan temple."

               "Right." Gabriel clenches her teeth and lets him pick her up.

 

               Alex looks at the heart in her hand and the head on the floor. She should burn them. Burn everything.

              "Krissy?" she looks back. Krissy is with Dean at the altar, pulling off the large rattle snake and feather blanket cover it to reveal a pale, blue lipped Claire.

               "No..." the look on Dean's face is heartbreaking, though she feels kind of numb herself.

               "She is alive." Alex informs them, "We don't know what he did to her, but she's not dead."

               "Just... get her back to Castiel, right?" Krissy says hopefully as Dean picks up her limp, unresponsive body.

               "Right." He almost runs from the room.

               "Krissy?" Alex calls her again. She turns and looks at her a bit guiltily. "We need to burn these and the body, too."

                "Right. Can't be too careful with gods." Krissy pats her pockets looking for a lighter. "I'll go get kindling."

                "Light the bowl by the altar first." Alex walks over and plops the heart and head in. "I'll go find the rest of him." Krissy just nods and goes back out. It doesn't take Alex long to follow Bree's bloody hand prints to the body. he has the obsidian blade at his waist. It's not too hard to drag the body into the room and over to the altar though she can't lift it up to it herself.

                 Maybe if she removes some more pieces. His hands come off without much more blood shed and go right into the bowl. His eyes are open. those red eyes, demanding he look at him. His knife destroys them easily. And his lips as well. With these he offended me. Where is that from? Red Dragon, of course, Francis Dolarhyde about Freddy Lounds. But it wasn't just words was it? Not just her heart.

                  "Jesus Christ, Alex." Krissy almost drops the kindling as she sees the pieces Alex tosses into the sacrificial bowl over the mutilated bloody bits already there.

                  "I'm going outside. Call me when you need help lifting him up on the altar."  Alex walks outside and sits on the side of the half crumbled, volcanic ash and lava covered pyramid, her knees drawn tightly to her. All she wants to do is go home, take a long hot bath and just scrub the very memory of him from her skin. Most of all she wants Raphael. Krissy silently goes in and out dragging more and more sticks, not saying anything to Alex as she passes.

                   "Help me get him up?" Krissy finally says, so Alex goes back and does so, tossing the feathered robe on top of him. It's surprisingly unsatisfying watching him burn. she doesn't feel much of anything really, not even dissappointed. "Harahel's waiting outside to take us home." Krissy touches her shoulder, Alex just nods and walks outside, the knife still in her hand. She closes her eyes until the brightness of Harahel's approach dies down.

                   "Are you alright?" The angel asks timidly.

                   "Where's Raphael?"

                   "I don't know." But she looks guilty.

                   "Who would know?"

                   "I... I'll find out."

                   "He didn't have anything to do with Bree's dissappearance, or the demons, anything." Alex's voice is calmer than he expected it to be.

                   "I heard. We all did." She straightens up, mentioning Alex's angry call for assistance. "But he's still allied with Lucifer."

                   "I don't give a fuck! Neither of them were responsible for any of this! Give him back to me or God help me I.... I don't know what I'll do." The look in Harahel's eyes is similar to the one she gets when Claire mouths off to Dean or Castiel. Does she really look that frightening right now? Or is Hara just an exceptionally timid angel? maybe that's why she's a librarian.

                    "Let me take you to Sheriff Mills and I'll make inquiries." Alex can't bring her self to say either yes or no. Harahel just brings her there anyways.


	55. The Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci is betrayed, the search for Raphael begins, and Gabriel encounters one last misfortune.

        When Luci opens his eyes he realizes he's broken his not-falling-asleep-around-demon's policy. Granted he didn't so much fall asleep as pass out from pain and blood loss as soon as he finished drawing the demon trap. As he's not on the bathroom floor, they must have done something smart like have a human get him. That or he smudged the trap when he fainted.

         The room he's in is white with a bright white light and no windows or doors. Next to the white bed with white sheets and white bed frame is a white tray of peeled apples, toast, rice, a glass of milk that he can't drink and egg whites. In the corner is a white port-a-potty style toilet and a small white shower. The floor is white tile. Even his clothes are white. Someone with a sense of humor even painted his finger nails white. He can't bring himself to move enough to check his toes but its safe to assume they're painted as well.

           "It's lactaid." he looks back to see Crowley in a white suit that almost blends in with the walls. "Unfortunately our deal did not involve healing you. So while you recover from your injuries you'll stay here, safe and protected, while I work to fulfill the last pieces of our deal." He takes out a needle and places it down on the food tray. "For the pain." Luci doesn't say anything. There's not really a point. His throat hurts to much to want to waste words, either way. "Rest assured, I will fulfill our deal to the letter." And he leaves.

            There's an almost perfect silence in the perfectly white room. White torture then. It's likely he's never going to leave this room again. He's a little impressed by the inventiveness. Sensory deprivation. He closes his eyes, watching the colors dance on the back of his eyelids until he falls back asleep.

 

           When Alex comes out of the bath, Krissy's waiting for her at a table with Jody.

           "That was fast," She says holding tightly onto the bathrobe.

          "Gabriel wanted to make sure you got the birth announcement and pictures." Krissy gets up and hands her phone to Alex. "Michele Cadence Singer (Winchester) born February 14, 9:47 am, 7lb15oz to Gabrielle and Samuel Singer (Winchester)" And there are little angels blowing trumpets in the corners around a banner 'I bring you tidings of Great Joy' up top, and 'ITS A GIRL' on the bottom. Though instead of the usual baby decorations there's a flaming sword on the right margin and a colt revolver on the left.

           The image after this one, is of a little red thing, wrapped up with a little fist batting out of the swaddling and bright golden eyes assessing the world. She looks a lot like Sam with his lips and a round little nose.

           "There are a couple more." Krissy reaches over and swipes a picture of Shelly at Gabriel's breast, one hand wrapped around her father's little finger. Though from the look on Sam's face when he's holding her in the next picture, it's going to be pretty much the other way around for the rest of their life.

          Dean's making a silly face at her, getting a confused look in return that clearly says, 'who is this doof and why is he holding me?' In the next picture Shelly is looking at Castiel's tie as if she wants to eat it. They're almost as good as Raphael's pictures. He should be there, holding his neice, taking proper pictures. She can feel the smile drain from her face along with any trace of energy and good feelings the images gave her.

          "Harahel's still making inquiries." Krissy follows her back to her old room, though Alex gave the phone back almost immediately. "She has ways of making people talk." This statement just elicits a raised eyebrow. How could timid little Harahel possibly strong arm other angels into doing anything. She can't even smite things without Krissy shouting directions from the back of her mind. Or at least that's what Claire said.

          "How?" she has to ask.

          "Well, you know how preists and therapists are privy to extremely private, personal, embarrassing items of information about people? Imagine what things a librarian with a perfect memory could know about you based soley on your reading history. It's like if someone has access to your entire google search history."

          "Oh, shit." Alex can hear Jody exclaim from the other room.       

          "She's blackmailing people?"

          "No. She's just making dual inquiries. If they can't help her with one, maybe they can help her figure out this other particular items that's of intrest." Krissy winks. "Though after this, you'll kind of have to get updates from her directly. She'll use me as a vessel when need be, but she's kind of not speaking to me at the moment. Apparently when I told Dean that we had a foursome with another vessel, he asked Castiel to talk to her. But he did so where Gabriel could hear and she decided to take the initiative on that one. And you know Harahel, not great at speaking up at the best of times, so she ended up enduring an incredibly extensive and to my mind interesting lecture on how to get the most bang for your buck with the limited senses of a vessel. I'm fairly sure Gabriel was completely aware of how horrified and uncomfortable she was during the whole thing, but well, I think she's better off for knowing it."

         "You had a foursome with another vessel and told Dean about it?"

         "No, we didn't. I just lied to give him a little perspective on your physical involvement with Raphael. He's kind of funny about things like that with those he's adopted as his 'psuedo sisters' I've noticed."

         "Who the hell told him I was sleeping with Raphael?" Alex feels her cheeks burn. It was probably Claire, and probably before she actually was. Deans not the only hypocritically fussy over protective pseudo-sibling apparently.

         "I don't remember. Alex, I'm so sorry.  I..."

         "It's okay. Claire's your partner. I understand." And she does, though her words sound hollow even to her. "Is she alright? Was Castiel able to help her?"

         "They're still working on it. Gabriel had her sent to Helheim. The jotun are looking into it as we speak. If anyone knows ice magic its frost giants, and you know Hel won't let anything happen to her, even if she did shoot Rhys with silver and wolfsbane tranquilizer."

         "She what? Why? I thought they were working together."

         "They were, but he wanted to take you back to Neiflheim, and She wanted to shoot him. You know she was just waiting for an excuse. She had that tranq made since you first found out he had a long time girlfriend before he even started courting you. He's fine, but pissy as hell so his sister kicked him out. I think he's in Jotunheim with Yuri now. I'm not sure.

         "I thought Yuri was with Thor in Valhalla. Are they fighting again?" Though it's kind of a stupid question. They have such an off again on again relationship. They're both equally philandering but equally possessive. She should have known Rhys seemed too good to be true, given his attitude about it.

         "Of course. You know, we can take you to see her at any time, you know. Just... just ask, I'll drop everything to let her take you." Krissy offers rather generously. It's so odd how she shares her body with Harahel like she's just borrowing a pair of jeans. She probably would let her use it to fool around, too.

         "That won't be necessary." Alex closes the bedroom door behind her. If there was something she could do to help her she would, but honestly, she just really doesn't want to be anywhere near her right now. She handed her over to an Aztec god and left her there. Even if she didn't know what he would do, the fact still remains. Nothing that happened to her would have if Claire hadn't done what she did. What's more she did it ostentiably to hurt Raphael. She'll forgive her for it one day, Alex knows she will, but not today.

 

         "Can you still breastfeed when you have your grace?" Sam asks as Shelly suckles like the precocious greedy little elqra she is.

         "I don't know, it never came up. Almost no angel ever survived birthing a nephilim, none with any grace left. Not that many survived at all.  We don't age or menstruate. The random chance of stopping the natural processes at the right time that you even could get pregnant or to get so weak that the body resumes it functioning was rare enough as it was. Raphael would probably be able to answer that. I don't know if anyone took a breastfeeding vessel or not. I doubt there'd be an emergency big enough to necessitate that, but not big enough to require the infant be left behind. We can ask." Shelly lets go and gives a tiny cry, instantly being taken from the rejected breast and gently burped by daddy. "I really would like to for at least a few months even if it means remaining human, but with Michael gone and Raphael missing, I really should take it back as soon as possible."

         "There is formula, she won't starve." Though she knows he's not the biggest fan of that idea either, viewing it as more of a necessary evil than anything else. "I was formula fed."

         "I know. I wish they still had wet nurses." She sighs, of course Sam doesn't seem to like that idea either. "What? How is a strangers breast milk worse than formula?"

         "It's just... they're not her blood. It's just seems kind of..." he makes a face.

         "Well, if you want to keep it in the family, with the right hormones you could.." She suggests, finding the idea humorous, but still not completely joking.

         "No."

         "Well, if you don't want her formula fed or nursed by a stranger. It'll be a snap once I have my grace back. What do you say? I could even make you a decent size. C cup? Or would you prefer a double D?" The look unamused look he's giving her is absolutely hilarious. She's better not push it, though, or there'll be absolutely no chance of getting any before she gets her grace back. Sure they said wait six weeks but they're just generally not that creative, she's noticed. "So what's keeping Raphael?"

           "We can't find him." Sam finally says after a few moments deliberation. "Alex says that Claire told her angels took him but we haven't heard anything about that and she could have been lying."

           "Why would Alex lie?"

           "Claire might have lied. Or at least been mistaken. We're trying to find out what happened as well. There are over half a dozen angels missing. When we locate them we should know more." That doesn't exactly sound good.

            "Any word about Lucifer?"

            "Nothin after banishing the two angels at the entrance to the abyss and rearranging the nursery." He sounds more annoyed about the nursery than the angels though. She understands given how much work he put into getting the right items and arranging everything.

             "He did? Do you have a picture?"

              "Of course, we wanted to make sure there wasn't anything significant about the placement. It's in my pockets." he turns his back to her so she can grab it without him having to put down the sleeping Michele. Of course when she swipes the screen, he has that damn picture of her that Krissy took at the temple as his wallpaper.

               "Dean had your phone last?" She shows it to him. He just gives a sheepish smile. "Really?"

               "It's kind of badass and not a little hot."

               "Even the underoos?" Gabriel makes a face. She has total bed hair in this. Though oddly enough there's no need for little black bars thanks to her arm placement.  Oh, and her wrists and ankles are so puffy. Maybe photoshop can help.

                "Especially the underoos." He teases, leaning over to give her a kiss as she laughs at him.

                "Oh, I like that so much better than how we did it." She can't help but exclaim at the pictures of the rearranged nursery. "It's so much more open and I can just tell the acoustics are so much better. Please tell me you left it this way. And that mobile. Was that him? You didn't throw it out, did you?"

                "We had to make sure it wasn't hexed. There were blessings in the folds actually, but we can't really seem to get them back the way they were. I just put back the old mobile." His face grows hard as she pouts at him. "The devil redecorated our nursery. I can't possibly excuse leaving anything unexamined."

                 "He sang her lullabyes, Sam, and she heard him. I'm fairly sure if he took Michael's grace and hasn't used it to destroy us all already, I doubt he's going to. He probably went to try and get him back."

                 "And with such benevolent intentions he destroyed the bunker's security and computer systems and shaved my head. We have to set up an entirely new system." She knows she shouldn't laugh but Dean has taken pictures. Though, the writing did piss her off and she'll have a few choice words for her big brother when she sees him again. It was a step up from attempted murder though, several steps up, and the lion face was hillarious.

                 "Yes, because if he'd asked we'd have just let him have it." She retorts. "And he didn't kill you or actually injure you in any way. Honestly if he went in the closet, the experience was probably way worse for him." She can't help but snicker at the thought. Given his reactions to that party favor she can only imagine the look on his face when he opened the door. If Sam wasn't murdered after seeing that, then it's proof enough for her of his reform. Her darling massam doesn't seem to share her enthusiasm when she informs him of such.

                 "No one knows what to think. He hasn't sung any prayers since you disappeared. Half the angels are relieved and half are disappointed. Heaven is divided on the whole issue and the ones in the program are fighting about it almost constantly. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt as best I can but I'm not risking either of you on this. You have to know that." He rests his cheek against her little bald head.

                  "I know. I'm not going to risk either of you either, and when I see him again I'm going to kick his ass for what he wrote on you." She shakes her head. "I need a little rest first, before I decide. And definitely a hot shower. Have Cas come talk to me when he can. You should take her next feeding just to make sure she takes to the bottle if we need to feed her that way."

                   "I will." He sits down on the chair beside her. "She's so tiny." Of course in his arms, who isn't?

                   "Are you kidding me? A month early and almost eight pounds? The kids fucking huge. I mean, jaevla huge." she corrects herself at his reproacful glance.

                    "Swearing in other languages isn't any better."

                    "It is and you know it."

 

                  "How's she doing?" Dean asks as he sits down beside Castiel at Claire's bedside.

                  "The same. I can't make out the particulars of this spell. there are darts of sorts in her heart, but they are her heart and I can't remove them without removing pieces of her heart in the process. Even if I could, it wouldn't remove the cold that's threaded it's way through her. Any attempt to try causes convulsions." Cas takes her hand in his, gently rubs it, trying to warm it up at least a little, but it's no use. The cold won't go away. It even goes so far as to chill his own hands, the harder he tried. It's a sensation he hasn't felt since he was human.

                  But it's not entirely physical, it's a spiritual chill. The moments when the pain was so great that it was as if he couldn't feel anything at all. A numbness that allowed him to function but was still enough to draw the ritzien, even before Dean showed up and shattered that thin icy wall to peices by his mere proximity.

                  "Claire." he calls her softly. "Whatever you've done, it doesn't matter. I forgive you. What we did, keeping things from you, we were wrong and I hope you can forgive us."

                  "Well, we weren't entirely wrong. She did flip out, just like we though she would." Dean protests a little.

                  "If we'd involved her in the decision to bring back Raphael this all could have been avoided. We could have at least informed her." Castiel gives his boyfreind a reproachful glance. "When do all our secrets ever not come back to haunt us? This is just one more time.'

                   "Maybe, maybe not. We can't know. But she fucked up, Cas. She handed Alex over to someone who murdered her over and over for days on end. Did she know he was going to do that? Obviously not, but she should have. He was an aztec god, they're known for two things, gold and human sacrifice. Do we forgive her? Of course, but we're not the ones who she needs forgiveness from. Alex is. Depending on what's happened to Raphael... I don't know. I know they hurt her but that doesn't give her carte blanche to just do whatever."

                    "I'm not saying that it does." It's as if Dean doesn't even understand the point of what he's saying. "But she's hurting and she needs to know we all still care about her despite her mistakes."

                    "Yeah but of course we do. That shouldn't even have to be said."

                    "It always needs to be said, Dean."

                    "Uncle." the two look up to see Hel at the doorway. "There are angels here to see you.  Now, you can visit Claire all you like but I draw the line at using my underworld as a celestial conference hall so take it elsewhere."

                    "I'll be back shortly." Castiel places a hand on Dean's shoulder on his way out the door.

                    "Sir." Amitiel starts, but he holds up his hand to silence her.

                    "We'll have to discuss business elsewhere out of respect for our host,"

                    "Oh, yes sir." She follows him back to the bunker and sits down when he motions to the chair nearest him. "I spoke to Azaiah and Raziel, the one's Lucifer tricked at the abyss. Demiel, Ruman, Samkiel, Puriel and Sheffiel, five of our eight missing angels were the ones who flocked to the abyss after Azaiah and Raziel raised the alarm. And Ms. Novak had met with Halaliel and Nathaniel a day earlier a few hours before Ms.Novak shot Fenrysulfr with the tranquilizer. I attempted to question the wolf but he was uncooperative."

                     "There's no further news of their whereabouts?" Castiel prods.

                     "Just that they were last seen three days ago in the library talking with Shepard. no one's heard from any of them since. I'd like permission to search through their belongings."

                      "Call to them one last time and give them time to reply. But make sure there are eyes on their possessions at all times. Even if they don't return due to summons, they might return to retreive something incriminating."

                       "Yes, sir." she nods. "Sir, I know you're trying to keep Ms. Novak alive, but if she weren't we could question her in heaven."Castiel just looks at her until she shrinks down almost inside herself. "I'm sorry, we're just at dead ends. And I really mean just question her. I'm worried about Raphael. They all hated him so much. With the rumors about him and Lucifer being allies... I'm afraid..."

                        "I understand. But it's unlikely she would know where he was taken, even if she does know who took him, if he was even taken. But as soon as we can revive her I will let you speak with her in my presence."

                        "Thank you, sir," she nods and leaves as Castiel's phone starts to ring.

 

                    "He'll be right over after he retreives your grace from heaven."Sam informs Gabriel as the nurse helps her out of bed. "He's also going to bring your replacement leg. We got a letter from the company with this one. A rather humorous request for the stories of how you keep breaking your legs and a punch card for a buy six get the seventh free coupon, half filled. They figure either you an provide them inspirational porn or tim taylor brand safety tips. That was an exact quote by the way."

                    Gabriel laughs and lets Jessi help her onto the little bench in the shower. This nurse has long since learned to just ignore whatever she hears them say.

                    "That was probably Melissa." they assigned her to deal with me after the bar fight. I'm tempted to tell them the truth. She'd appreciate that, even if our insurance company didn't."

                    "They were right not to cover that second one. It was entirely your own fault."

                     "Hey, if Dean hadn't ducked it never would have landed in the parking lot to get run over by that ambulance in the first place, so I still maintain it was his fault. Hey, nope, that stays on." Gabriel smacks Nurse Jessi's hand as she goes to remove the necklace and jade pendant.

                      "If you keep exposing it to soap and water it'll tarnish and make your skin black. You really need to take care of your jewelry. Especially if it's meaningful." Jessi chides removing it anyway. "Here, just keep the soap off it." She hangs it on the shower head. "Now, do you need help bathing or can you do it yourself?"

                   "I had a baby, I didn't become one." She shoos the woman out. Ever since they took her blood pressure this morning, they've been hovering like crazy.

                   "I'm going to be right outside the curtain. If you start feeling dizzy or sick in any way let me know immediately, and don't try to get up. You're not out of danger yet."

                   "Don't you have other patients to harass, you demon?"

                   "Babe..." Sam chides her. "Behave."

                   "I just want one nice hot soapy shower before my entire body become unable to properly appreciate it. Unless you've changed your mind about offing me a different last hurrah..."

                    "Not in your condition, and what does that have to do with not giving the hospital staff a hard time? Mommy's changing the subject isn't she, Shelly? Because she knows she's being a brat, yes she does."

                    "Hey! Don't you poison my little song against..." A sudden wave of dizziness hits her leading into a sharp pain burning through her skull. Gabriel grabs for the necklace, falling off the seat as her hand wraps around Raphael's grace. It's warmth flares at her touch, bringing her back from a looming darkness. She can hear the alarm of someone pulling the red emergency cord. Jessi turns off the water and kneels down beside her but the grace has already done it's work.

                    "It's alright." Gabriel gives a sigh of releif as the warmth cuts off,a bit more abruptly than usual, "I'm not hurt. I'm alright."

                     "Do not move." Jessi says firmly. "Your bleeding from the ears. You may have suffered a stroke or cerebral hemorrage." Sure because people are always so articulate after those.

                     "No, really, I swear I'm..." Gabriel stops her protest as she notices an odd sort of texture in her hand. When she opens it to look at the pendant, green dust falls from the gold webbing and into the water puddled on the shower floor. Whatever was holding the jadeite together is no longer there. There's nothing left. Raphael's grace is gone.

                  


	56. Father and Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci struggles to endure White Torture, and resist the temptation of an easy, temporary escape, using every creative means at his disposal. But it's not enough. As he starts to succumb to despair, Luci starts to see his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> margins of error
> 
> I hate the fact that you can't use tab to make consistent margins in this thing. And I can never remember how many spaces I did so I have to eyeball it. So you can see by my drifting paragraph indentations how well that works. I apologize, but I really can't help it.

          Everything is so horribly white. And silent and bright. It's odd how hard it became to bear and so quickly. Even the pain of his healing injuries were a releif. If he thought being in the cage as an angel was torture, it's ten times worse here in this frail human body, so dependant on sensation. The light keeps him from sleeping. He was using the pillowcase as a blindfold at first, but it was taken away. As were the sheets when he did the same with them and then his clothing leaving only a white string bikini that barely covers anything. It wasn't too long before he discovered that his vocal cords had also been removed while he was unconscious. The whole thing is so elegant, he's actually impressed.

          And the food.  He never knew so many white foods even existed, though gradually as he healed, the variety grew less and less until there was nothing given but a soup of potatoes oatmeal and some sort of cheese. After a few meals it lost any flavor it once had. There are no utensils and the bowl itself is styrofoam. The only item of any color in the room is the needle on the tray. First it just blended in with everything else. Then after he repeatedly threw it into the put of a toilet it was replaced with an eggshell white one, slightly darker than the surrounding room. it's all the way up to a light pink color now, and while the temptation to relieve the pain has ebbed as he healed, the desire for something, anything else than this reality is just growing stronger and stronger.

           He can remember the feeling it gave him, the utter bliss and joy. It felt like being held in his father's arms, or as close to it as this form could ever get. He knows enough to know that it will never feel like that again. But even half as good, an eighth as good would be better than this. It's not nearly as addictive as everyone seems to think. After just one time, he doesn't crave it any more than he craves chocolate, or the colors blue and green or even brown. That bastard even managed to bleach his hair white at some point.

            He's spent hours just staring at his own hands, poring over the colors in his skin and flesh, pinching himself for the redness. Of he'd close his eyes and just explore the room with his hands. It looks the same but the textures are different. The smooth cool porcelain lid, the rough grains of the concrete floor, the sandy smooth paint on the wall, the wood of the tray and varied textures of the pillow and mattress. He must know every crack and bump of every item of the room so far. And while they took his voice, they forgot that percussion is a thing. But after making various noises on different surfaces with different objects, the tray was bolted to the ground and everything covered with a sound absorbent material.

            No one interfered when he started practicing some of the dances he and Michael were learning, though he half expected to wake with his legs bound together or his hands mittened. Maybe they just thought he was already hallucinating. There's only so much he can do though, and no matter where he takes his mind or directs his thoughts, it's not enough and just gets harder and harder to take himself away anywhere. The pain of utter solitude, lonliness, the lack of touch at all eats away at him even as much as the exhaustion.

            To have these sense and then to have them starved. He understands now Michael wearing Adam's body just running his hands over his own skin, his arms his shoulders his chest, his neck. It wasn't sexual at all, but an attempt to comfort and soothe the human within. He could have left that form at any time and been free of all of that, but he stayed, doing his best to protect and care for the boy. And the gentle off tune singing was another attempt to fill the emptiness. Human ears can't handle angelic voices and while Michael could protect him from the sounds, it was the boys own voice that had to be used to fill that need. And it didn't have to be either.

            Michael and Adam and he, himself, and Sam, they could have been a comfort to each other. They could have spoken to each other, held each other, sung together, danced, done any number of things and no one would have had to have been alone and in such pain. He could have enveloped all of them with his wings and eased the pain and Michael wouldn't have been fading before his eyes. But he didn't do any of that.

          Instead he let himself be consumed with anger and hatred and jealousy, putting the need for punishment and vengeance above everything else until it was no longer even an option. They could have reconciled so very long ago. He could have kept Michael healthy and sane and together maybe they could have saved their father from the darkness. So many choices he could have made, every step of the way with possibilities that he just didn't see. How could he have been so blind?

          But now he's back where he should be, kept away from the world. What happened with Raphael is proof of that. All he can bring anyone now is torture, pain and exile. Lucifer casts such a shadow over everything that it stripped his little brother of everything just for being associate with him. The moment Raphael started caring for him, he began to loose everything he ever held dear, his grace, his siblings, heaven, his very reputation. It would have been better for Raphael if he'd just killed his older brother the moment they were alone.

          It'll be fine now, though. Instead of being a traitor, he'll just be another victim of Lucifer's deception. Like Denny, Raphael hadn't actually done anything wrong in his company, so there should be no reason to keep him at arms length. There was a witness, after all, who'll absolutely survive. And if they notice that the blade missed every vital peice in Raphael's body, that can be easily explained away by the fact that Lucifer, due to being mortal and severly injured, missed.

           Anyways, there are so many contingencies in place. Anonymous calls to 911, police reports, the damn fire that would free the stupid little angel from the wall so he could go to Raphael and heal him. Luci even left the blade in so his brother wouldn't run the risk of bleeding out. Especially not in that cold.  Even if the brat just fled instead of checking on Raphael, the emergency services would get there in time. He even had a few demons posses the workers to make sure they would. Raphael will never loose another thing for his sake.

            Then there's that the idiotic desperate hope that maybe, somehow they'd believe he could ever even want to reform, that led him to leave what he did in Michaels' journal. It probably won't be believed, though if it is, hopefully they won't try to find him unless enough of the other angels can reasonably be convinced of his sincere intentions at least enough for the ones who don't not to destroy the lives of the ones who do. More than anything he doesn't want another war. With how much pain it caused his siblings, he won't do that again. Of course the fact that he killed seven angels won't help his case any but they were torturing his baby brother. If anything they got off easy.

             Of course, Crowley took advantage of the numerous loopholes in their contract much sooner than he expected him to, but he can't really blame him. The opportunity presented itself and he'd have been an idiot not to have taken it. Really the only question that remains is if he'll be keeping him in this room for all eternity or just until Crowley's fulfilled his end of the contract and drags him down to hell. Maybe he'll just do a public execution, sending him back to the abyss. That would be a hell of a coup, capturing, tricking and killing the original king of hell. People might take Crowley seriously again.

            Smarter to just keep him locked away from everyone and everything until the end of time, though, to be honest. He'd be too easy to retrieve from the abyss, if they decide to retrieve him at all. They might not. And in truth that might be for the best. He'll never escape what he's done, who he's been. Not in a million years. And he'll just keep making things worse for his siblings by his very existence.

             He looks back at the needle and picks it up. Why not? What exactly is he holding out for? It's not like one more hit will make him a hopeless addict anyways. It's been days upon days. How many?  It's so hard to keep track. It's been sixty five meals, fourty seven showers, he's slept maybe sixty times, but rarely for long.  How can he tell anyway? He hasn't had his periods yet either, which would afford him some rough measurement of time. Neither has he had any cramps. Something pharmacuetical and hormone affecting in the soup maybe? That salesman is smarter than he thought he was. Maybe he has a shot at keeping the throne this time. Luci lifts the needle in a mock toast to the once and future king of hell and puts it to his arm. It's not too hard to find a vein.

             A hand touches his own before he can depress the plunger.

            "You're so impatient." he looks up to see his father standing before him, wearing the Chuck suit it seems. That was fast. Not even a rush before the dreams and hallucinations begin either, or maybe he's just succumbing to the sensory deprivation. "It was always one of your biggest faults." His father gives him an affectionate smile, even though he's giving him a hard time. Probably going to be a bad trip. Maybe it wasn't heroin. "No, it's heroin. and not too much either. It won't kill you, just make you feel pretty good for a few hours. But it'll just make it easy to do it again the next time. and the next and eventually...." The pitying look his father gives him says it all. "I know you know this, son."

             "Obviously, or my hallucination wouldn't be telling me." Luci stops and puts a hand to his throat, the needle falling from his arm onto the floor. He can feel the scar from where her vocal cords were removed, so he can't possibly be talking. "Of course. auditory hallucinations. At least you're in color. Hey, dad. How's death?"

              "Your uncle is fine. Still not happy with you for binding him during the apocalypse." The hallucination brings himself up a chair. "You really should apologize to him for that. Maybe give him a peace offering with nacho cheese in or on it."

              "Yeah, I'll get right on that." Luci gives a fake smile and rolls his eyes as he looks away. "Alright, hallucidad, what brings you here besides some off drugs?"

             "Several things, but first we need to talk about Raphael." His father leans forwards, resting his arms on his knees, his hands steepled under his chin. "You broke your baby brother, Helel. Do you know how much you hurt him? How much he thinks of you? Do you have any idea how much he put himself on the line for you?"

             "Yes, that's why I had to put a stop to it. And Raphael has always seen me for the empty hollow shadow I am.  That's how much he thinks of me. You'd think a figment of my imagination would be aware how low I am in his regard."

              "Son, he's always viewed you as larger than life. Always. Whether he loved or hated you he sees you as so.. significant, something to be in awe of and capable of just about anything at all. Now, even redemption. You're going to have to make this up to him, more than just downloading a few biweekly podcasts for him. You have to know that, and you can't as Crowley's drug addicted prisoner or from the abyss, not when he'll need it the most, so please, just hold on." His father reaches up and puts a hand to Luci's cheek, It feels so very real, it takes all his strength not to just break down into grateful tears.

               "I don't know if I can." he closes his eyes, focusing on the touch, half convinced it'll fade as he does so. But it removes itself only to be followed by being enfolded in his father's arms. Held safe and loved as only his father can. If only it could be real. "Please help me. I can't bear this alone."

                "You were never meant to. None of you were. Why do you think I made four of you?" Luci feels a kiss on his head. "They need you, son, every bit as much as you need them. You have to know that."

                "I just keep hurting everyone."

                "You'll make it right. Just keep trying and trying and one day, my Helel ben Sahar will shine as brightly as he did before. Brighter, You've come so far and tried so hard. I'm so proud of you." Though he knows it should make him feel good to hear these words all it does is draw out a bitter laugh.

                 "What for realizing how wrong I was? For hating myself with every fiber of my being? For trying and failing to save you?" he pushes away "You couldn't have been proud of me before I fucked everything up? I gave everything I was and it wasn't enough for you, but now?" His father looks almost heartbroken at his words.

                "How could you ever have thought it wasn't enough? Why did you think I wasn't proud of you? I placed you above every other angel in creation. Gave you the throne, the earth, my love. You were the one who couldn't see it no matter how hard I tried to show you."

                "You made humanity. You told us to love them to put them before all else. The message was fairly clear. No matter what I'd done it meant so little to you that some newborn naked ape was worth more to you than me." He still feels the hurt and pain of his own inadequacy,

               "That's not what I meant at all. You know how delicate they are, how complex, how much care they need, how fast they go. They needed you. You were to be their teacher, their mentor. You were supposed to guide them in the ways they were supposed to go. They were supposed to be your masterpiece every bit as much as they were mine. but you just wouldn't listen. You couldn't listen. There was too much darkness inside you even then. I had hoped you loved me enough to just obey me regardless but you didn't." His father is right. He can hear the truth in his words.  Lucifer wasn't able to hear what he had to say, not really. But now he hears and he sees no matter how badly it pains him to do so.

                 "I'm sorry. I ruined everything. Can you ever forgive me for all the horrible things I've done?" He buries his face in his hands waiting for the inevitable rejection. He's done too much, gone too far. He even demanded his father apologize to him before being willing to try and save the world, and ultimately his own skin.

                  "Of course I forgive you. All you ever had to do was ask." his father kisses his forehead and finally brings out a torrent of silent tears that don't end when he returns to his father's embrace, but do become infinitely more bearable. "Get some sleep, my son, and remember to hold on. I'll come back to see you when I can. I hear you play a mean violin. I'll bring my guitar, we can jam."

                  "Sounds good." Luci smiles, reluctantly letting go.

                  "Sweet dreams, my little light bringer." his father brings up a light white silk sheet with blue stitching to cover him with when he lies down. The bright blue is like water in the desert. Though he does have to laugh to himself just a little when his father starts singing him Norse Lullaby. And his dreams are very sweet, reliving all of his best moments with his siblings and Denny since his return. When he wakes he feels more refreshed than he has in a very long time and what's more, the blue seamed sheet is still there.

 

                Fourty seven more bowls of soup and fourty six more needles of heroin down the toilet go by before his father finally reappears.

                "You're not a hallucination." Luci smiles and takes the offered violin.

                "Well, I am, sort of, I'm not actually here." he brings up a couple music stands.  "But I'm not dead. Why does everyone keep insisting that I'm dead? Here look through these. There are alot of kansas and dixie chicks songs I  know, but it's hard finding guitar and violin songs."

                "Alright and you know it's for the same reason they killed Bambi's mother in the disney adaptation. It's far less traumatizing than being abandoned. Because dead means they didn't leave you willingly, unless it was suicide which combines the best of both traumas. Where are you? Why did you leave us this time?" he really doesn't want to start a fight but ask and you shall receive and all that.

                "I'm keeping your Aunt in the empty so she doesn't destroy everything. Hopefully one day she'll come around. Your uncle likes his new role arbitrating reincarnation. I'm trying to see if I can convince your aunt to take over his role. Of course, I'm not sure what we'd call your uncle then if he's no longer being death."

                "How about Mort?" This gets a laugh from his father that sounds so much like Gabriel's. He'd forgotten that. "Or census. That would be good."

                "Unless you're carrying several chicago deep dish pizzas and some poutine, I wouldn't suggest it in person. That reminds me though, you haven't gotten to see your neice yet have you?" His father brightens, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulls out a wallet impossibly full of pictures. "Isn't she just the cutest thing?"

                "Not really. She's all puffy and blotchy." Luci looks them over. "Maybe she's just not very photogenic."

                "It's true, photographs don't really capture the full extent of her adorableness. One moment." he disappears breifly and return with the child in his arms. "Who's grandpas little darling?" he coos tickling her chin, the annoyed look she gives him is pure Raphael. You woke me for this? It says. Luci can't help but grin at it.

                 "I see you're taking after your uncle, huh?" Shelly just gives a sigh and yawns with her tiny pink mouth

                 "I'll let you hold her if you promise not to destroy her."

                 "Why would you think I'd even want to hold... Aw, she has her mother's eyes. Alright. How do I do this?" Luci scrunches his nose and tries to position her arms like her father has his. He gently transfers the baby into Luci's arms just barely adjusting her. "I still don't really see the appeal. She's all soft and squidgy and round. Pretty eyes, though. Hi, I'm your Auntie Luci. Well, uncle really. I feel more like a boy and being a girl honestly kind of sucks what with cramps and having to deal with men, but multiple orgasms kind of make up for it so hang in there."

                  "Helel, that is not appropriate conversation for an infant." Though his father is sort of smiling at seeing her voluntarily holding a somewhat human infant.

                  "Oh, please, like she didn't hear worse in the womb. Yeah, mommy's kind of a freak, huh? So don't go into her closet, not even looking for presents. You'll regret it more than anything you ever do. You will, yes, you will. Don't go in that closet, Shelly. Don't you do it." Luci can't help but grin at his father's exhasperated sigh, though he's not sure if it's either at him or Gabriel.

                   "Both of you." Luci just laughs some more and looks back down in time to see that puffy little face just lit up by the biggest little smile she's seen in Days.

                  "She has her smile too." He can just feel his heart melting. "You took after the right parent, kiddo." he kisses her tiny cheeks. "Oh, I hope she gets wings. I can teach her to fly, keep mommy from dropping you in the ocean, that's right. You want to fly with Auntie? Do you?" Luci coos before remembering he has no wings now and is not likely to get them back before the issue comes up, if it does. "Well, never mind. I'll teach you to play the violin, how about that?" Shelly just squidges up her face and starts to fuss a little.

                   "She's hungry. Here." His father hands him a bottle of formula.

                    "Gabriel's not breastfeeding?"

                    "Half and half. Sam won't let her take Michele to work with her and she can't always pop in when it's time to feed. Here, angled up so she doesn't swallow air and get gassy." He adjusts Luci's grip on the bottle. "And just put it to her lips."

                      "So I take it you approve? And her and Sam? Of this?" Luci nods to the little nephilim in his arms.

                      "Things are different now, Helel. There are all sorts of possibilities that weren't available before. They can love each other without depriving a human being of their life and body. And now Gabriel and Raphael have figured out how to manufacture empty vessels and fill them with angels. Granted, you were supposed to get your own bodies by removing your grace and being reborn in them, but this works just as well. The reasons for the ban on nephilim are no longer unavoidable. You've all matured and grown in skill enough, like how you don't let a toddler use the stove, but you do let a thirty year old."

                      "Well, speaking of grown up things." Luci glances up at his father. "About me and Michael..." Because he's not even going to pretend that their father doesn't know.

                      "Yes, about that. Well," their father sighs. "It's not exactly what I had in mind either, but as long as it's what you both want, the world will survive it."

                      "Well, that's good. I'd've hated to have to rebel all over again just when we really made up."

                      "Let's both pretend you didn't just say that." His father pats him on the head. "Let me take her back, her father's about to check in on her."

                       "Like I care about that asshole. Let him freak out."

                     "Helel..."

                     "She's still eating." He protests. His father just gives him a stern look. "Fine. Here. Bye, Michele." Shelly is none too happy about loosing her bottle and gives a cry of protest before the two disappear again. Luci picks the sheet music back up and starts to flip through. Hopelessly Human, cute, Speak Softly Love again, Straight Into The Fire that one looks good. Counting Stars, thats one of Michael's favorites according to his play list. And Heaven and Hell by Black Sabbath. Nice. Though that's one's for the electric guitar and drums.

                     "Let me guess." his father grins upon his return, replacing the intruments with a snap. "Guitar or drums?"

                     "Drums actually. I kind of want to bang on something."

                     "Sounds good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bambi.  
> The disney movie Bambi was based off of a book that was told from the perspective of deer. It was much much different than the movie. Not the least of which being it included a domesticated deer being shot by hunters after being returned to the wild, and instead of Bambi's mother dying, she abandons him as soon as he's weaned as real deer apparently do. Could you have imagined what that would have done to small children, the thought that their mothers might just stop caring and abandon them one day? Death was definitely a better choice.
> 
> census- latin for taxes.
> 
> So yes, Luci is making a death and taxes joke in that last bit.


	57. Moving Forwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After weeks of waiting and searching and trying to cope with her ordeal, Alex is gets a lead in the search for Raphael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannah Ardent is a political scientist (philosopher but doesn't like to be called that) most famous for her theories on the banality of evil. How evil is not the result of something exceptional or out of the ordinary, but of the dull, selfish, ignorant and every day nature.

 

          Alex looks out of the window, watching as Nick shovels the driveway. He's doing well at least, staying here in Jody's guest room, now his room really. His nightmares have ebbed. Of course given Alex's seem to have made her start screaming in her sleep, she could just be waking him up before he gets to them.  But he seems to have come to terms with her second chance, even if he's not quite there yet with how he got it. Not that she blames him. The very concept of being given a chance at redemption by Lucifer of all people is hard to wrap your mind around, regardless of who it was given to. She really prefers to think of it as being really given by Raphael, as it was his grace that pulled him back into flesh. According to Denny it took Lucifer by surprise as much as anyone else.

          He seems determined to make up for his mistakes, dedicating his life to trying to help people in any way he can. He's already doing everything he can to repay Jody for her hospitality, fixing up her house and the cabin as well. He was in construction apparently, and not just as a business owner. The more she learns about him the less likely it would seem that the man he was he ever would have said yes to Lucifer in the first place. He was devout, a faithful church goer. He even tithed, attributing his success to a benevolent god. What's more one day a week he had his crew devoted to charity tasks, repairing the homes of the elderly and infirm in the community.

          Nick was the quintessential example of the American Dream. He came from nothing, no family, no friends, no money, nothing but foster home after foster home. But he got into construction even before he was really old enough. Nick was a capable, intelligent, handsome, saavy, appealing white man in America. Doors opened for him at the slightest touch. Promotions, contracts, loans flowed like milk and honey. Not that he didn't work hard. Anyone can see what a hard worker he is, but a lot of people worked hard. He was just blessed.

           When he met his wife, though, he said that he'd have thrown it all away for her. Anything and everything, but all she wanted was him. So they married and soon had a handsome boy as bright and charming as his father. Then on one fateful night, someone after those possessions he cared nothing about took away the only things that mattered to him at all. As he credited God for his success, he decried God for his loss. After all didn't he do everything right? Wasn't he honest? Wasn't he dedicated? Didn't he give back what was asked of him and more? Why was it taken from him? And standing staring into the bottomless pit of despair with no answers and nothing to live for, Lucifer found him and pushed him over the edge.

            Was it because Nick was so different from Lucifer that he felt the need to do this, or because they were alike? Alex can't honestly be sure that she even knows the whole story, just what Nick tells himself. But why would he bring Nick back?  Why even free him from hell in the first place. And then to do nothing with him but hand him over to be treated and cared for. Why? Just more pieces of the inexplicable puzzle that is Lucifer.

           She wants to believe that it's all leading to proof that Luci's changing, growing, remorseful even.  She wants to believe it because if anyone could find and save Raphael, then he could. He did it before, he can do it again. Maybe he already had. Maybe they're just staying away from her. After all it was Rhys who led the angels to her and Raphael, she knows it was, and she was the one he tracked down. If he can find her once he'll find her again. Though, Raphael would at least let her know he's alright. Unless he thinks she betrayed him. No, he just hasn't been rescued yet. He'd let her know he was alright. It's not a comforting thought.

          Alex closes her eyes and rests her head on her hands, sending up another prayer, telling him she hasn't given up on finding him, she's looking, they're all looking and to just hold on and if he's safe and sound to please, somehow let her know. Bree has her grace back, now and if he can just call to her she'll come to him and protect him against all of heaven. He should know that already, honestly, but it can be easy to forget sometimes. Anyone who hurt him will pay.  And as it's really hard to think of his overly playful little sister as being quite that capable, she tells him how Bree took down an Aztec god while in labor, promising to show him the picture Krissy took. She tells him how Shelly is doing, just everything she can think of.

           Everything but how she's having constant night mares, how every night her heart gets ripped from her chest again. Or how she has to sleep with the obsidian blade in her hand if she wants to sleep at all.  She doesn't tell him how she almost killed Nick the first night, when he responded instinctively to her screams and tried to wake her. all she saw in the dim light was pale skin and blonde hair and she struck out without even a thought. If Harahel hadn't been there using Jody's computer, he would have bled out within minutes. He forgave her, of course, but keeps his distance.

            She doesn't tell him about how Bree almost died after giving birth, or how his grace saved her at the expense of it's own existence. Or how there hasn't even been a trace of Lucifer since the day he vanished, or that her morning prayers had stopped at the same time. She doesn't tell him how she had to take off from work, school, volunteering because she can't handle the questions about where she's been, and how that led to having to leave entirely. Of that even with the discomfort of Nick's presence in Jody's house, she can't bring herself to return to her apartment because she'd be alone. She doesn't tell him what was done to her on that altar. She doesn't tell him about Claire, either her betrayal or her condition.

            Because if he's still in trouble, then he needs hope and support and distraction, not more pain or a reason to worry or despair. Because she doesn't want to think about any of it at all, ever again. She has to believe that despite how hard it is to do anything for anyone else, that she's still of use to somebody. That somebody still needs her or she'll just be completely swallowed by the darkness.

             "Alex?" The timid tones of Harahel draw her attention. "I think I have a lead."

            "You do?" she looks up.

            "I think so. I might have found a vessel used by one of the angels that took Raphael. He's the last on a list of lineages that they were researching, but he's warded himself into his apartment and won't let Krissy in by herself. He's really scared about something. And you're so good at talking people down." Harahel looks pleadingly at her.

           "Alright." Alex briefly assesses herself in the mirror. "Give me half an hour to get ready. Does he have any family members or neighbors he's close to? That might make concerned phone calls on his behalf? Co workers?" She takes out the internship blouse and gray skirt she'd gotten for the coming summer.

           "Not really. He thought Krissy was someone named Joeline when she first knocked. I'll go see what I can find out. I'll be right back." Harahel disappears. She is incredibly at research, unbelievably so.  It's like having a living, thinking google search engine at your disposal. Clothes a side, she's a wreck. Her hair is barely dry from her shower and has already started to tangle. Her eyes mark her as either exhausted or a junkie. Well, everyone in a social work is nothing if not overworked.

           "Joeline Fisher. A nose neighbor from the apartment below, she says there are strange noises and he's constantly dropping things. He was even crying a few times. She's sort of nice, and concerned. She'd tried to fix him up with her daughter, a police officer a few years ago, but Missy's married to Richard Price, a psychologist residing at the psych ward at the local hospital, now."

           "Alright." Alex gets the tangles out and puts her hair up in respectable bun, grabbing a white clipboard and  well worn hospital intern badge from her candy striping days. "What's his name?"

          "Isaac Morton. Apartment B" Harahel takes her to an apartment hallway and steps back into the veil. Alex adjusts the  outfit, making sure the knife is well and concealed, and  walks over to the door.

          "Mr. Morton?" She gives the door a timid rapping, enough to alert him but not scare the bejesus out of him like Claire's iron fisted police banging. "Mr. Morton this is Hannah Ardent I'm a therapist. Someone reported you were in distress? Sorry to disturb you but I do kind of need to make sure you're alright."

          "Let me see your ID." The mail flap opens. She puts it through. "This says intern, not therapist."

          "Yeah, I... I'm sorry, my boss, Richard Price asked me to come. He said something about shutting up his mother in law? I'm sorry, I know it's an imposition. Are you okay? Apparently she was really worried. Are you a freind?"

          "No...I... look, I'm okay. They're nosy pricks and need to mind their own business."

          "Oh tell me about it. The man's an asshole. We call him the Stick. It's... well it's probably not an appropriate reference. I don't suppose you'd just let me give you a quick assessment just so I can say I did it and we can get them off both our backs?"

          "Fine. Go ahead."

          "Um, right here in the hallway?" She frowns, he doesn't answer. "Okay. Are you currently having any thoughts of harming yourself or suicidal thoughts? Are you seeing visions or hearing voices telling you to harm or kill yourself? Have you or anyone you know been a victim of sexual assault or have recovered memories of ritual satanic abuse? Do you see dead relatives? Are they telling you to set things on fire? Have celestial beings appeared to you sending you of some sort of mission or vision quest? "

          "What the hell kind of questions are those?" the door opens to the end of the chain and a shaking man is peering out at her.

          "I don't write the script." She gives an embarrassed sigh, rolling her eyes. "Look, I'm not getting paid for this. Can I at least come in and sit down while I question my career path?"

          "Y.. yeah." He closes the door again and unlocks the chain, opening it for her as he stands behind the door. As she enters she's splashed with water, then a fist full of salt. "Sorry, tripped." he hands her a napkin. His hand is in his jacket pocket, clearly hiding a gun.

          "It happens." Alex goes to sit down at the nearest easy chair, tapping the pen on the clip board. "so, apparently you were missing for sometime several weeks ago."

          "No, I was just... just visiting... visiting." He's still shaking, like he has severe dt's or a constant adrenaline rush. "I was visiting. People."

          "I see. You know, there are better ways to deal with people you think are demons." She draws a demon trap on the top page of the clipboard. "Unless you know how to deal with one or can escape fairly easily, tossing holy water and salt at it, will just piss it off. here." She hands him the paper. "Draw this on your ceiling or floor and the demon will be trapped within it until the circle is broken. Let me write out the exorcism, too."

          "Who are you?"

          "Therapist in training but I specialize in people who've been traumatized by the supernatural. you need to be honest for therapy to really work and you can't exactly just go tell an ordinary therapist that you were possessed by a demon or were attacked by the ghost of your dead mother." She smiles. 

          "How the hell did you get into that feild?" Isaac just stares at her.

          "I was raised by vampires. Rescued in my teens, ended up getting panic attacks once I was safe. Plus all my freinds are hunters and they are seriously fucked up from it. See a need fill a need right?"

          "Do... how did you find me? How did you know?" he really can't seem to stop shaking. "Are you with the angels? I'm not going to tell anybody I promise. I didn't..."

          "It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you, or turn you in or anything." Alex reaches out to touch his hand. "What are you afraid of? I know people who can help."

          "Gabriel." he says with a frown. "I don't know why exactly, or if it's that Gabriel but Sheperd said that what we did..." He looks a little ill.

          "It's alright. He was mistaken, you don't have to be afraid of Gabriel, not for something an angel used your body to do. I promise." She soothes him, though the shaking doesn't stop.

          "I don't know what's wrong with me. He said I'd be in perfect health when he left but my arms hurt, my legs hurt, I can't stop shaking. I'm dropping everything. That's why Joeline's been pestering me. She's right below me. My voice shakes a little too and sounds like I'm crying half the time." She can hear the trembling. "I can't sleep. My heart is just..." he pats a hand on his chest in an exaggerated fashion.

          "He left you damaged." Alex frowns. Even if this angel didn't have anything to do with Raphael's disappearance, he's at least going to get his vessel privileges revoked. "I have a freind, Harahel, she's an angel, but she's a librarian. She's helping me find my friend, which is actually what brought me here. If I let her in, she can probably fix whatever damage he did. But it' s up to you."

          "No. No more angels." He shakes his head a bit excessively.

          "Okay. If you change your mind, just take the wards down or step into the hall and pray to Harahel for aid."

          "You're looking for your friend you said? You think Shepard had something to do with it?"

          "Yes, I am, and maybe. He was taken by angels. His name is Raphael and he's a south american native, lots of scars running pretty much all over his body. Hold on." she takes out her phone and brings up a picture of him leafing through the hotel bible. It's clear that Isaac recognizes him from how wide his eyes get, but Alex forces herself to remain calm.

           "Shep said he was a fugitive. Allied with the devil who's currently a teenage girl. They said they needed to question him but it just looked like torture to me. the girl... the girl.."His breathing quickens and he begins to hyperventilate.

           "Shhh, it's okay. head between your knees." Alex moves over beside him on the couch. "Deep steady breaths. In two three four, out two three four. In two three four, out two three four. That's it." She rubs his back soothing him until his breathing returns to normal. "Is this the girl?" she really wishes she had a different picture of Lucifer than the one of Raphael preparing to slice her open on the countertop, but she doesn't. "It's not what it looks like." she quickly says. He just nods.

            "They said she was satan and tortured her the most. And she killed them and... and pinned us to the wall and then... she.. she killed him, too." He covers his head with his arms.

            "She killed him, too." Alex repeats.

            "Him, the native. She just took a sword out of our arm and stabbed him with it." he points to Raphael in the photograph and then at his stomach. "I thought they were angels. Angels are good. They're righteous and... and right. But this..."

            "Angels are just as flawed and imperfect as everyone else. They try, they fail, they make mistakes, and they fall sometimes. And sometimes they trust people they shouldn't have trusted." she knows her voice sounds a bit wooden right now but he doesn't seem to notice. "It's not your fault. But, in the future, you have the right to revoke your consent at any time. You can kick them out."

            "I can?"

             "Yes.  And if any angel comes and starts gives you trouble, you just pray to Castiel and he'll come kick their asses. Do you know where Shepard went? Did he leave you any way of contacting him?"

             "No, he only left me this." Isaac gets up and walks over to the kitchen table where there are a small pile of papers. "So I could protect myself."

             "Can I take pictures?" Alex asks, he nods and starts to pace as she does so. The last two pages are just straight enochian. Since these two are obviously not for him she folds them up and puts them in her pocket.

              "Thank you, Isaac. Do you remember anything about where this happened?" she turns back to him. He'll need his body when he comes back. If he can come back without his grace.

              "No, it was just some warehouse in some city."Isaac shakes his head. "Why didn't she kill us too?" the tortured lament strikes a chord in her heart, but at the same time it raises a very good question. Why didn't Lucifer kill this one too? Why leave a witness? Why betray Raphael and risk letting everyone know?

              Sure she loves an audience, but she's not stupid. How would revealing herself to be utterly unrepentant and having lied do any good right now? How would it possibly help further any plan she has? She doesn't have her grace. Convincing people she'd reformed would be her only chance of getting it back. Leaving an angel alive, how could it possibly do anything to further any sort of plans she has. If anything all it seems to do is tear down and expose every single lie and deceit she built up.

             "Isaac, did Shepard interrogate them any?" Alex asks. Isaac nods, "Did he try to help either of them in any way?"

             "No."

             "Are there any other angels that were involved in this that just weren't there to be killed?"

              "Yes, but I don't know any names. They never spoke english. The only english I heard was that damn song the two started singing after they were brought together. Just over and over even when we left the room it would be sent right to our heads."

             "What song? Do you remember the words? It might be significant." Alex prods grabbing her clipboard.

             "I don't think so." Isaac makes a face.

             "Please, any information is helpful." She pleads, though he looks doubtful.

             "This is the song that has no end, it just goes on and on my freind. Some people started singing it now knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because... and that just repeated over and over." Alex can't help herself she bursts out laughing. "It's not funny it drove them absolutely insane. They had to beat the girl unconscious to get her to stop and then the man would start up." she feels like reminding them that they had names, but she knows it's just a coping mechanism. "Though really she was just constantly making them angry. It's like she wanted them to torture her. I thought they cared about each other, that's why they were torturing them in front of each other's eyes, but then she just..."

             "Right." Alex wipes away the tears that are starting to leak out. "Can you tell me when this happened? How long ago she killed everyone?"

             "No. It was so hard to keep track of time. I could barely remember what happened until it started coming back in my dreams."Isaac presses his palms into his eyes.

             "It'll be okay Mr. Morton. Thank you for talking to me. If you can remember anything else, please get ahold of me." Alex takes out a card for the suicide hotline and pens in her cell number. "Anything at all, or even if you just need someone to talk to who knows you're not crazy."Isaac takes the card and nods.

            "Thank you." He just stares at it, letting her see herself out. Harahel's waiting outside the door when Alex leaves the apartment.

            "Were you listening? Did you hear everything?" Alex asks. Harahel nods. "Take me home. I need to think."

            "Should I... should I tell the archangels?"

            "You mean Cas and Bree? Sure, but don't turn Isaac in. He's... it's not his fault." 

            "You know they'll want to question him."

            "I know." Alex sighs. "Give me a little bit, then. I'll figure out what to say and how to get them to leave him out of this. Shepard left him damaged. I told him he could trust you, so he might pray to you for help with that. Make sure you listen for him."

            "Right because as the angel of libraries I just get so many prayers directed my way, I might miss him entirely." Hara seems to have picked up Krissy's knack for sarcasm.

            "Right." Alex grins. "Thank you for helping me." Hara just nods and takes Alex back to her apartment, clearly too distracted by the news of Raphael's murder to remember she's been staying at Sherrif Mills. But that's alright. She misses her bed. That king sized bed shoved into a twin sized room.

             The apartment is surprisingly spotless. She half expected to come back to everything being the same mess it was when she left with Raphael. Bree must have put everything back the way it was, even replacing the tv and coffee table. But it's the bowl of fruit on the island that makes her finally break down and cry.

              When she sinks down to her knees in the middle of the floor, she hears a familiar whimper and looks up to see the big soulful eyes of a wolfy jamthund. He nuzzles her cheek, giving another sympathetic whine, and just lets her bury her face in his fur like she used to do when she was too upset or stressed to deal with another human being. It isn't until her tears have stopped that Rhys turns back into a man.

              "Alex, I'm so sorry." Rhys  moves his arms around her. "I didn't know she was going to hand you over to be sacrificed, I swear." this apology is far more heartfelt and genuine than the one about Hlokk. That one had more of an 'aren't I a scamp' tone to it. "I was just trying to protect you."

             "I know." Alex pushes away, her skin crawling at his touch. "It's okay."

             "I love you, you know I do. Please forgive me. I miss you so much. Let me stay with you and protect you. He would never have dared lay a hand on you if you'd been properly mine."

             "I forgive you, Rhys, but that doesn't change anything. I don't want to be with you any more. Just because Raphael's dead doesn't mean I'll just...." She can't say anymore. her head is already killing her from crying so much. "Please leave. I just can't handle being near you right now."

             "Being near me? Or being near a man?" he asks gently.

             "Does it matter? I'm asking you to leave." She snaps. In response Rhys just turns back into a dog and crouches down in front of her, making himself as small as possibly. "Rhys.." she gives a smile despite herself as he rolls over, exposing his throat to her in total submission. "I'm not taking you back. And you can't pretend to be my pet because you're not. Thank you for whatever you did for the apartment, but it really doesn't change anything. Please just leave. I really don't want to have to call Bree just yet."

              He just gives her his most pathetic pleading eyes, and rests his head in her lap. She knows what he's doing. They made up after too many fights this way. He knows she can't stay mad when he's like this. Yelling at a dog just makes her feel too absurd. But she's not mad just empty and tired and sad. It would be nice to just go lie down with his warm fuzzy self snuggled beside her. But once they finally slept together she'd wake to his kisses peppered with I'm sorry's and I love you's. There's no reason to think that wouldn't happen again, and she'd probably end up stabbing him.

             "Go home, Rhys." This time he listens.  How long had he been waiting for her to come back. From the dozens of wilted roses in the trash can beside her bed, and the ones on the nightstand, it must have been a while. A lovely enormous bright and shiny apple is on plate with a few orange peels and peach pits. But when she takes a bite it's so bland, especially compared to Raphael's wild ones.

              That's Rhys all over though, isn't it? Big words, big gestures, big emotions all out there on display, four star restaurants, trips to europe, flowers and fun. And it's not that there's nothing underneath the shine. He was sweet enough, kind enough, if he hadn't been such a shameless lying jackass she probably would have said yes when he proposed. If he was really going to and it wasn't just a ploy to get her back.

                Maybe he really does love her. Maybe he did just not know what to do or how to break things off or think it wasn't such a big deal. Maybe if she took him back, he'd mend his ways and at the very least end things with her before moving on to the next one, though she doubts it. It doesn't really matter anymore because she's tasted something better.

                Maybe they can't bring Raphael back any time soon. If they can, he might not feel the same way as he did. Even if he does, who's to say it would even last beyond the initial passion? And that's assuming she can bear the thought of being with someone again by the time he comes back. Whatever happens, she just knows she wants something more than what Rhys has to offer. Hopefully Bree will forgive her.


	58. Eternal Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael struggles to come to his siblings' aid, coming face to face with his greatest enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the story of how Gabriel traumatized Castiel into an intense fear of the ocean read 'Flying Lessons'  
> To hear more about the clearing of the leviathan and pre human earth (but mostly about pre human archangels and Gabriel's first crush) read 'Book of Daniel'

       Michael looks hesitantly at the lake. It's impossible to tell how deep it is. Even if the water was perfectly clear it'd be hard to tell with what water does to light. And since it's all murky and brown with sediment from the recent storms run off, the bottom could drop out at any time, any step without him being able to see.

        "Relax.' Lucifer gives him a shove and he falls off the side of the peir. The water envelops him completely for a breif blinking moment before his feet touch the lake bed and his head breaks the surface. "It's just water." Lucifer grins, kicking a splash of water his way before sliding in next to him.

         "I can't swim." he reminds her a bit irritated at having to say it. He's probably the only angel who can't. They would all play in the ocean after the leviathan were cleared out before they had to leave everything so life could develop. Well, almost all of them. Castiel was still deeply deeply traumatized by Gabriel's flying lessons and wouldn't go near the water if he could at all help it. He has since gotten over that, though.

          Not that Michael was afraid of the water, he just couldn't go near it. He burned so brightly that it would flee at his approach, evaporating before it could even touch him.  Most things did. It complicated things. But now in this vessel, this body, nothing does. He can touch the water, be enveloped in it, drown in it if he isn't careful.

          "It's not that hard."Lucifer takes his hands pulling him slightly deeper until he refuses to go anymore. "You float really easily. That's the first thing you need to know how to do, honestly. Here, lean back on my arm." he places his hand against his brother's back. Michael doesn't even make a pretense at moving. "What you don't tr.." He's not stupid enough to finish that question, fortunately. Lucifer rolls his eyes and gives a sigh, swimming back to the shore as Raphael sits down beneath one of the trees. "I don't suppose you'd care to join us." It's not exactly an invitation, and he doesn't sound any happier to say it than Raphael does to hear it from Lucifer.

           "I would not. I don't know why you'd even think about asking." He opens his book and starts to read, ignoring his brother who just crosses his arms and looks uncomfortably around for a moment.

           "Look, I want to teach Michael to swim, well, to float first, but he doesn't exactly trust me."

           "Who in their right mind would?" Raphael doesn't even look up.  Michael slowly starts to make his way back to the shore.

           "He trusts you." It's actually kind of amusing watching Lucifer begrudgingly admit this and attempt to ask Raphael for help without ever actually asking for help.

           "I don't have to enter the water to keep him from drowning in it." Raphael reminds them and turns the page.

           "Yes, well, he hasn't been human long enough to be able to force himself to override the autonomous nervous system and relax at will, so..."

           "Don't bother him, I don't need to learn how to swim today. I'm not going out any further." Michael takes off his drenched shirt, wringing it out as best he can. For some reason this seems to completely capture Lucifer's attention. Raphael looks up at him a little uncertain.

           "Do you want to learn?" he asks a bit reluctantly. Raphael is probably the best swimmer next to Lucifer, but he doesn't exactly like the water.

           "I can see about getting lessons from the Y or something." he shrugs. Of course, Raphael find the thought of an indoor heavily chlorinated pool as distasteful as Lucifer does, so it's not as reassuring as he means it to be. Especially as he spends so much time clearing the pollutants from the lake.

           "Give me a moment." Raphael sends the book back to the cottage and takes off his shoes.

           "You really don't have to." Michael reassured him. Aside from the whole water issue, he knows how uncomfortable it makes his little brother having to have skin to skin contact with another human body while in his vessel. In truth he feels a little embarrassed about his own nervousness at the prospect. not that he's sure it's not blatantly obvious to anyone who knows him as well as his brother's but there's no need to burden him with it directly. Or with the way the sight of Lucifer dunking his head back in the water to get his hair wet affects him, especially with how the water glistens on his skin and chest, shining like it was his own true self emerging. It's as if there isn't a form he can take where he's not in some way devastatingly beautiful, even if he and their siblings seems to think otherwise. Michael just shakes out his twisted shirt and puts it back on again. That should help for the most part. No need to scar the poor boy for life if he doesn't have to. Being human is so horribly frustratingly irritating sometimes.

           "You should learn. Especially if you want to go out on that fishing trip with Jeff." Raphael hangs up his jacket over a branch and rolls up the sleeves. "It's not that difficult. It's just a matter of practice, really."

            "You do know there's such a thing as a bathing suit, don't you Raph?" Lucifer comments, climbing back up to the peir and shaking out a towel so he can lie down and get some sun. Raphael just ignores him and starts to wade in.

            As much as he misses his little sister, Michael's a little relieved that Gabriel's not here at the moment. She'd never be able to resist grabbing his ankle and dragging him under like she did so many of their little siblings at random times, or cannonballing right next to his head. Really it's a wonder that more of the lesser angels weren't terrified of entering the water. Actually most of them seemed to enjoy it. Of course that's even if she can swim with half a leg missing and no grace to supplement. Maybe she'd just end up swimming in circles.

            It takes a few tries to really get the hang of it, but it's a peaceful sensation floating on the top of the water feeling Raphael's arm at his back, there just in case he needs him to be. Just as he always is.

            "Thank you." he says quietly. "I've never thanked you enough. I know I haven't or told you how much I appreciated everything you've done for me. I should have. I should have told you, you're my favorite song." He opens his eyes as the feeling of Raphael's arm vanishes from his back. "Raphael?" Michael flounders a bit trying to stand back up, but his feet don't reach the bottom.

             "It's okay." A hand grabs his and helps lift his head back above the surface."I've got you." There's nothing but water everywhere except in front of him, where Gabriel is lying on a slab of ice, gripping her brother's hand with both of hers. It seems impossible that she should be strong enough to do so, even as she pulls Michael out of the water.

             "Where's Raphael? And Lucifer?" he asks.

             "I don't know. They're gone. Something happened." She puts a hand to her stomach, looking down at the barely notable lump. "I can't do anything. Michael. I wish you were here."

              "I am here." He goes to hug her but a sharp pain strikes his chest. the cold wet shirt feels breifly warm and he looks down to see blood spreading out around  a hole in his chest. That's right. The man was shaking so badly and the phone rang and he just moved, trying to use his own body to shield his brother from harm. It must have worked. Michael feels oddly numb as he realizes that he's dead, and trapped inside himself in the abyss. He has to get out, he has to. He can't leave Lucifer alone. He promised to stay and be human with him until he got his own grace back. And Raphael, he'll either kill him or leave Gabriel's side and then they'd loose her. There's too much for Raphael to possibly do alone. He has to get back. The ice creeps up around him and the blue darkens to pure black. He can't breathe, everything hurts and he's alone in the dark. It presses in on him crushing him down until he's on his knees.

              In the darkness and silence he can hear a cry of distress from Raphael before it's abruptly silenced. Michael forces himself back up, pushing against the darkness, filled with stubborn determination. He will not abandon him, not now, not ever, no matter how much is in his way. Gabriel's voice breaks though, an indistinct tinkling of bells. Hope and worry, fear and longing. Anger, confusion. What do you think about Michele? Shelly for short? The words spark a light in the darkness off in the distance, the briefest spark before it fades again.

              The spark lights something inside him and the red of his blood on his shirt, his hands dissolves the shell of flesh, revealing the light within, a burning fire that melts him away. But it's so dim he can barely see himself and does nothing to the darkness that surrounds him. All it does it give him shape again. It never was enough, was it? As bright as he was he could never pierce the darkness. Not for anyone, not for Lucifer, not for Gabriel, not for Raphael. none of them. He can feel himself fading again, he's so empty, so alone.          

                A song reaches out to him, breaking through the emptiness. The words blend into nothing but a rainbow of sound wrapping themselves around the strings of a guitar or that of a violin. It's a voice he'd know anywhere, only softer, more passionate and filled with more love than he's heard it since the dawn of time. The voice of his Helel ben Sahar reaching out for him.

             He walks towards it though the darkness bites at him and tears at his limbs. Even when it stops he can remember where it came from and moves towards it. Every so often Gabriel's bells sound a flash of light revealing a hidden stair, a short ledge, an entry way. But there's nothing from Raphael and that scares him. The last time there was this complete and utter silence he'd learned that Raphael had actually been killed. Only the fact that the little brat had helped bring him back spared Castiel from Michael using the last of his strength to destroy them both where they stood.

            Each step he takes in the silence and darkness weighs him down more and more, but Helel's songs flow into him lifting him up again, lightening his heart until  suddenly it doesn't. And neither comes another flash of light from his sister. Fear and worry weigh him down along with the darkness, which just piles itself on him until he can no longer move. He finds himself huddled on the ground drawn into himself just waiting to hear his voice or see her light.

             "Mitcha, I'm here." Helel sounds so close. Michael lifts his head slightly to see him kneeling before him in the dark. As always his brother shines so much more brightly than anyone around him, though now he's still so very dim, sparkling gently against the darkness like stars against the night sky. But he's there, placing his hands on Michael's arms. He wants to move, to embrace him, to respond to the words grabbing him by the heart."I brought you your grace. But I don't know how to give it to you. I should have thought of that, but it's not as if there was anyone I could ask. not who would ever tell me at least.

                    "We're in trouble, Michael. I can see how you're hurting and I don't know if you can just will yourself to emerge, but if you can, we need you so badly. heaven has turned against Raphael and I don't know how to save him without doing terrible things. Gabriel's missing, taken by some pagan god to the Aztec underworld and I don't know if I can reach her before anything happens to her and Michele. She's having a girl and naming her after you. Which is fine. She did name her first daughter after me. We're calling her Shelly for short. In honor Raphael. I can guarantee he won't appreciate that." Michael gives a slight smile, recognizing Gabriel's joke, and no Raphael will probably not appreciate another turtle joke.

                      "I brought you some things for when you wake. I hope it helps. Including your journal. I read it." Oh father no. He never should have started that thing. All his feelings and struggles and longings and fears and deepest pains. Whatever respect or regard Helel must have had for him has to be gone after seeing all that shameful weakness. "I did. I had to find out about what happened to your grace. I'm sorry, Michael. I put you through so much pain and all because I thought I was right and I wasn't. But even if I was, it wasn't worth it. I'm doing my best to try and take care of the children but I need help. I need you, Michael. I always did. You're my light and I can't truly shine without you." The words affect him like nothing he could ever have said, filling him with feelings he didn't know his true self could posses. "I know you regret what we did, even though I don't. But as long as we're together again, I don't care how or in what way. I just want you there. You're the most precious thing in all of our father's creation and I love you."   
                      When Helel puts his lips to Michaels, he finally understands what a kiss can truly be, not just a hunger or need or desire, but a gift of pure love and affection.

                     "I love you, too." But Michael can't even hear himself. "And I don't. I don't regret anything but pushing you away." He feels shame yes, guilt, but not regret, not really, even though he knows he should regret it more than anything.

                     "I hope you can forgive me for everything I've done. If not I understand, but try to come back for Raphael and Gabriel's sake. Especially Raphael. They're going to torture him, Michael, if they aren't already. Castiel isn't nearly as strict with them as he should be, even Gabriel admits that. I might be able to save him but I don't know if I can without hurting him more deeply than I ever have before. Everything I've ever done, everything I ever was is just..." The look of hopeless despair on Helel's face frightens him like nothing else. The closest he's ever seen to it was on Gabriel's face as she stood at the edge of the abyss. The look that made him so certain she was going to cast herself into it that he just grabbed her, hurling them both back to the ground, keeping her there as long as he could.  "Please help."

                    "I can't..." Michael feels his heart breaking as he so desperately tries to move, to say or do something else, to take his shining star in his arms and beg him not to give up. As his longing grows, Helel kisses him again with all the force of the ocean crashing against the cliffs in a storm, nothing but passionate need that parts his lips and makes his heart flare up inside him, breifly illuminating the dark as his brother takes his light making it brighter than it could ever have been alone. How can Michael be his light when nothing he has ever been can compare to the beauty he sees before him. He doesn't want him to pull away, but he does and it's as if he can finally breathe.

                   As he inhaled a burst of light floods through his entire being, rippling through him like a wild fire over the plains. His wings reemerge, full and strong, stretching out breifly for the first time in so long, before contracting around him like armor. He finally feels whole and strong.

                      "Okay." Helel sighs as if unaware of the extent of what he's just done for him and caresses his wings. "I'd stay with you but our siblings need me. I'll do what I can. If you're not out in time to save him first, tell Raphael that I'm sorry and I love him and I lied. I explained everything in your journal in case you don't remember exactly what I said. I have to go. I'll come back if I can, but if not remember this." And he's gone, taking Michael's heart with him.

                Michael manages to get back to his feet, his light finally enough to illuminate a cavern full of shadows. They're all of himself, though it takes a minute to recognize that. They're crowding at his light reaching for him grabbing at him, trying to keep him down buried deep within himself, but he sees them now. What's more he has his sword back.  Each shadow he slices down is replaced, though. There are thousands upon thousands of them rushing at him, tearing at him, pulling at his wings. But though they cause him pain and slow him down to almost nothing, they don't seem to do any permanent damage beyond that.

              The silence from his siblings continues, filling him with dread. Why can't he hear them? Why can't he get to them? Finally the last shadow is struck down, revealing a small stone pathway heading up out of the depths. When he reaches the top, all that greets him is a darkened sky, thick with fog. Michael looks all around himself searching through it for something anything that can tell him which way to go.

              A giant swirl of darkness blows past, barrelling into him, knocking him back from that top step. there's nothing beneath his feet though, and he's forced to spread his wings and catch himself in the air currents, any ground lost from sight. The breif joy of flight and the feel of the wind against him is cut short by a razor strike that slashes at his side.

                The ripples in the fog coalesce into the jaws of the mother of all leviathan, lunging at him. The beast, no longer than any he's ever seen grabs at his wings, sending him tumbling through the fog. The winds toss him about uncontrollably, pausing only long enough for the jaws of the beast to snap at him, pulling painfully through his flames. One desperate strike catches it's jaws and shatters it into a million pieces, all of which come for him.

                 After hours days years, he doesn't know a light breaks through the clouds above. Trumpets blare out in celebration. Michele Cadence Singer (Winchester) and he makes a break for the opening, reaching it just as the clouds close underneath him. Papers flutter down from the light above littering everything with colors and words. Michael grabs one from the air and laugh at the birth announcement, smiling at the pictures of the tiny thing with her mother's eyes.

                But his favorite is a picture of a doctor with a wry smile on her face, with Gabriel resting a blissful head on her arm as she clings tightly to it. There's a caption. "Michael, I'm leaving Sam for the anaesthesiologist. Unfortunately she only like boys so we'll have to trade vessels. Do nothing if you agree." This just makes him laugh even more, as he knows it's just a joke. Though he'd certainly sacrifice his vessel to remove the name Winchester from his little sister's. Gabriel is alright.

                 Though they should have just named the baby Cadence and made Michele the middle name if anything. It's such a perfect name for the child of an archangel, God's first songs. Especially Gabriel's, the embodiment of his voice. Of course, if the girl inherited her father's voice that would just end up making her being named Cadence Singer (he will never call her Winchester) a cruel irony.

                 The same pictures fall over and over again, just floating down around him clearing the darkness away as far as the eye can see. It leaves nothing but pure white. When Michael lifts his head up again, a smile stuck inexorably to his lips, and peruses his new surroundings, he sees the shining light of Heavens gate in the distance. He replaces his sword in his belt, tucks a handful of pictures into the other side and speeds off to the entryway as fast as he can go.

                There's only one guard who flies directly towards him, but as Michael draws nearer he sees it's only a mirror image of himself. Where his sword is on his left, the Other's is at his right. He glances quickly behind him to check if the gate is actually behind him but it's not. When he returns his gaze, the Other has drawn his sword and is bearing it down towards his head.

                "Where do you think you're going?" The Other demands as Michael barely draws his sword in time to deflect the blow.

                "Home." he replies though doubt starts to gnaw at him the second he utters the word.

                "This place is not your home and what's more, it never will be again."

                "I'm going to my family." He clarifies, barely avoiding the next strike. "They need me and nothing is going to stop me from going to their side again."

                "Need you?" The Other laughs, "They're finally free of you. You think they're in trouble?  Because you don't hear from them? They simply don't care enough to even think about you."

                "My brother's and sister love me and I will go to them." He feels a sharp pain though as the words strike him more deeply than any blade.

                "Even if they do, should they?" Michael goes for the Other's wings, severing the top most one at the first joint, but the Other's sword takes advantage, tertialing Michael's bottom left, sending him spiraling down to the clouds below. When they both hit, they loose their grips on their swords which somehow fall through the clouds, though they themselves don't. "You were never there for them. You think it'd be any different now? Do you think it's matter?" The Other gets to his feet quicker than he does and tackles him back down, it's flames burning a righteous white. "You neglected your shining star so he bore his pain all alone. Pain he took upon himself for all of you, a burden that enabled all of creation. You took away his favorite song for actions that weren't his, leaving him alone and suffering in that empty throne room. You did nothing but argue and fight and beat him down for his defiance when you knew he was struggling, and when he finally broke like everything you lay your hands on, you cast him away."

              "I had to," Michael can barely protest, though he knows with all his heart that he did. But it doesn't make it any less painful or hurtful, any less of a betrayal, even if he was betrayed first. He feels himself weaken, barely able to keep the Other at bay.

              "You had to? You didn't have to, you chose to. Just like you chose to ignore Gabriel's cries in Babylon. You let her drain her grace on that prophet and then step into those flames. And why? Because you were keeping Lucifer from reaching her? While you played your little game of keep away she almost died. She almost died rightly cursing your very name!"

              "I didn't know!" Michael's grip falters, allowing the Other to strike him with all his strength, the blow not half as painful as the things he's hearing. Things he knows deep within himself to be true, no matter how he fights against believing it

             "Did you even care? She was so much trouble, caused so many problem. She was only there alone because you begged your father to send her on jobs that didn't yet exist so she'd stop creating so much chaos and disorder. When she left didqyou even go look for her?"

             "We were at war! I couldn't abandon everyone and everything else just for her, no matter how much I wanted to. I sent my best angels after her."

             "Your best angels. As if she couldn't fly circles around the fastest of them. She evaded Lucifer for thousands of years, for heaven's sake. Sending your best angels was lip service and nothing more. Raphael could have gone, you knew he knew her better but no, you made him stay by your side so he couldn't leave you as well. He sacrificed everything for you and how did you repay him? By locking yourself in the throne room and leaving him to shoulder a burden he was never meant to bear."But in his taunting, he leaves an opening and  Michael finally manages to throw the Other off him before scrambling back to his feet.

              "And I was?  The throne was never meant for me, but I took it as I was told, because no one else could. I did everything I was told! Every damn thing! I tried... I..."

              "Everything you were told. And nothing else. If there were no orders you did nothing. If it went beyond your instructions you did nothing. Don't even try to pretend you weren't striking out at Him in your own way. Faith is fine, obedience is fine, but it was never supposed to be a substitute for judgement, and you know it.

              "Heaven has turned against Raphael because of you and your negligence. You knew what he was doing, how desperate he'd become and you just sat by as he pushed the wheels into place, his very being just crying for the end of all things. And why? Because there were no explicit orders left against it? It was wrong and you knew that too. One word from you would have stopped him in his tracks. One word of appreciation would have helped ebb his pain and you never gave it. You just sat there wrapped in your own pain as he crumbled beneath the weight of his own existence.

               "You abandoned them every bit as much as your father did. Who is like God? You are." The blow that strikes him shakes him to the very core, the dissonance leaving him helpless as the Other grabs him by the collar of his tunic, pulling him up right. "You think they need you? That anything is better off with you around? Stop lying to yourself. You have no place in this realm, no place in this family, no place in all of creation but for the darkest depths of your twisted, tainted being. Sam's greatest act wasn't putting Lucifer back in the cage, it was dragging you in there with him."

                 His Other self lifts him high and casts him down, through the clouds. Before he can regain himself even enough to try and break his own fall the slightest bit, his back hits the water shattering his wings, like slamming into concrete, breaking through into the depths of the darkest ocean. His light starts to dim, the words that peirced him dragging him farther and farther down like the heaviest anchor. The darkness become so complete that it merges into blinding light, the brightest he's seen since his father left if not brighter. The only light Helel's reflection could not improve.

                "Father, help me... please..." he reaches out his hand not truly expecting it to be grasped, much less to find himself pulled into his father's light.

                "It's alright, Michael. I'm here."

                "Why?" Is the only thing that he can think or say, still not free of the despair threading through his being.

                "Why not?" The glib teasing reply just irritates him beyond reason.

                "Why not? I have failed at every task you ever set for me. Why are you here, helping me now of all times? Even if you weren't dead, I don't deserve it."

                "I'm only as dead as you are, Michael. And you needed me. What other reason does there have to be?"

                "I have always needed you. Look at what I've made of things. Everything right in the world came about because I was no longer in it. Gabriel became something strong and responsible and great. Raphael began to heal and grow and now my absence has let Helel begin to shine again. Have you seen him? He's coming back and all I had to do was die."

                 "That's the pain talking, not the truth, not what you know deep down in your heart. And even if it was, does any of that mean that they don't need you now? Do you think that just because you made some mistakes, though not nearly as many as you think or are taking responsibility for, that you should no longer even try? Michael, don't you know how important you are? How many lives were saved and spared and created because of everything you've done? Just because the losses are measurable doesn't mean they mean more. Nothing is over that you could say you're a failure, not even if you truly had failed at every task I set you. You know what you need to do, what you need to become. And if you don't know that I rejoice in every step you make in the right direction, then you should. I always have."

                  "I can't do this, not on my own. I need to break free, and I'm just not strong enough." Michael just curls into himself, enveloped in his father's arms feeling truly safe for the first time in so long.

                  "You are. Just as I made you to be. My passionate Michael, guardian, protector, nurturing one, the essence of warmth and light. You can do this. I promise you. Have faith in yourself as I have faith in you, how you once had faith in me." The light fills him with peace and calm, his sword returning to his hand alight with the holy spirit as he finds himself at the bottom of the caverns. And this time, nothing keeps him from Heaven's light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are our own harshest critic, but not necessarily a valid one. All these things Michael's Other says are simply the doubts and fears amplified by guilt and an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. Did he make mistakes, of course. Did he struggle and suffer and maybe rebel in his own passive aggressive way? Of course, but he loved his siblings and tried his hardest to do the best he could in an impossible situation. Of course they both make a few good points as well. It's hard to tell the truth from lies. Especially when none of them are pleasant.  
> I will never believe that Michael was not doing the right thing, though maybe his reasons weren't always what they should have been. But the Winchesters never even attempted to ask him to help put Lucifer back in the cage. If they did I don't remember it. He may not have known it was even an option, though after learning first hand the isolation of the throne room, he may have simply considered the cage a fate worse than death.  
> And I kind of have to admit that I don't agree entirely with the shows portrayal of God. I believe fully that whatever the characters believe that God's claim of having to leave so we could grow was correct, no matter how much pain and suffering it caused. If only because in these last two thousand years we have grown at a rate we never have before. Of course I also believe fully in the way they showed him as a manipulative bastard, because you kind of have to be if you're giving everyone free will but still want to try and get things in the direction they're supposed to go. of course I could go on and on about this and end up with it as longer than the chapter so I'll zip it and let you enjoy the rest of the story.  
> One last note. If it weren't for the urgency and his siblings needing him, his healing would have been as slow and gentle as the scene it began in. He would only have had to conquer one piece of darkness at a time instead of a third of them at once.


	59. Taken in Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael returns and he is not happy.  
> Alex and Harahel find Raphael.  
> Michael is determined to finally make his little brother know how much he means to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody has their favorites. Michael's is undeniably Raphael's and vice versa every bit as much as Gabriel and Lucifer are each other's. Michael is incredibly protective of his baby brother, which probably is part of the reason he was able to get away with as much crap as he did during the apocalypse. Anyone else would have been taken in hand in a heartbeat. Besides which, no angel with any amount of sanity or intelligence in their body would have even dared raise a hand against Raphael if Michael was around. Granted it's almost certain that Gabriel and Lucifer would fuck up anyone who hurt him, too, but the truth is there are very few things as terrifying as an angry Michael, for whom the phrase 'going nuclear' is not actually a metaphor. There's a reason Lucifer created hell as he did, beyond just basic pigtail pulling.

          Bree just looks at the papers in her hands for the longest time, her face growing more and more despairing as she does so.

          "Where did you get this?" She asks Alex, her voice very quiet.

          "From a damaged vessel of Shepard's. What does it say?" Alex puts a hand on her arm.  Nothing good obviously.

          "It's to an unnamed co-conspirator. To sum up, Lucifer has killed Raphael, trapped Michael permanently in the abyss, and apparently taken back the throne of hell. Basically that my misplaced optimism has destroyed friends and loved ones. I guess I really am a Winchester." She cracks a half hearted smile.

          "Nothing's destroyed. You know that." Alex reassures her. "Michael may be trapped, but we don't know that Raphael is, just that he's back in the abyss."

          "His grace is gone. It just... it's all used up. How can he come back without his grace?" She's not even eating anything sweet, either. Angels can't really seem to heal most mood disorders, such as depression, anxiety, ptsd, maybe she has a little bit of postpartum depression.  Gabriel's not usually nearly this fatalistic, though Alex has to admit, with everything that's happened and so little that can be done about it, it's not surprising if she's a little upset. Everything seemed to be going so well at times, that just makes this so much worse. Of course that means Alex once again is placed in the position of playing devil's advocate, pushing an false hopeful optimism when what she really wants to do is just crawl into bed and wait to die again. She knows her pessimism isn't any more valid than the optimism, though, and that pushing for hope, pretending to believe in it will let her friends function, maybe even succeed and avoid despair that wouldn't do any good anyway. She just wishes that she could do that for herself as well.

             "Well... couldn't you do what you did with Lucifer? And just take out the non angelic peices and put it back in his body? If we can find his body, you can fix it and put him back in at least, can't you?"

             "Yes. Where's Shepard's vessel?" Bree demands, straightening up and looks Alex straight in the eye, clearing unwilling to accept any dissent. Alex just ignores the lightening in her freind's eyes and crosses her arms. "Alex..."

             "No. I'm not betraying a confidence and if you do anything to make me, this is the last time I will ever come to you in any situation like this, I mean it, Bree." She flashes right back. It's obvious that Bree is tempted to test that declaration, but instead she tries reason.

             "They know more than they think they do, Alex. They could tell us where his body is. They'd just need a little... 'help' remembering." She hedges, though Alex isn't fooled for the least second.

             "Not on your fucking life, Bree. He's been used and damaged enough. When he comes to you, if he comes, it will be of his own free will and nothing less. I told him he could trust you, that you wouldn't hold him responsible for Shepard's actions, because you are a reasonable, just angel if anyone is. If you hurt him even just for answers he'll be the last person I tell that to. I'll find his body. But you're the one who reached Raphael in the abyss the last time, let me do this and you go in and help him recover. You know how badly this must have hurt him."

              "Yes, well," Bree smiles at her with a look that clearly says, 'you poor smitten thing' "That was before." Alex can feel herself blush at this. "Awww."

              "A few nights together doesn't trump a relationship that's existed since the dawn of time, Bree. It's probably less to do with love than it was with dealing with his vessel and feeling so lonely and vulnerable and alone." Alex explains. That sort of thing happens all the time. Just because she'd like it to mean more than that, doesn't mean it does.

             "Oh, please, he's always held you in incredibly high regard." Bree rolls her eyes. "You know that. Yes, maybe the change of vessels pushed the spark from just romantic to sexual as well but don't pretend that part makes everything else you both feel invalid. i haven't seen him crushing on anyone so hard since Sariel. " Bree pinches her cheek.

             "Sariel?"

             "Azreal, the angel of death, uncle's devoted admirer. They trained the Rit Zien together, it was kind of cute."

             "The angel of death, huh? That kind of sounds like him, though he didn't really mention it." Alex can't help but smile.

             "The boy was seriously in denial, they had a falling out way long ago concerning the natural order so nothing ever came of it, but well, everybody knew. Really it should have been obvious he was starting to like you from the first time you met. He didn't even object to Michael going to you for help, and you know that was weird. At the time I just thought it was because Michael was so very broken, he was willing to allow anything, but apparently not."

             "He wasn't crushing on me. Michael was that broken and apparently I helped him enough that Raphael thought I could help him." Of course the look Gabriel gives her reminds her of her own thoughts when Raphael asked for therapy. " I was with Rhys then. I really don't think Raphael's the kind of person who would do that whole 'nice guy' thing of being friends until they can pick up the pieces. He's really not that devious. And even if he was I don't believe for a second you'd be okay with that."

             "No, of course not he's not and I would never let anyone do that to you or Rhys. I seriously doubt he was any more aware of it than I was. You know I'd have mocked him endlessly the second I saw it, which I would have I'm sure if I hadn't been taken away by that damn pregnancy. It's just fairly obvious in retrospect, that's all. We both know how bad Raphael is at acknowledging his feelings." Bree snaps up a pass to the abyss. "Give this to the guards, they'll let you through. If you can't reach him, though I know you can, call me for help and I'll try. Shelly's awake, and hungry. Now go get him, tiger." She gives Alex a light punch in the shoulder and snaps her off to the abyss.

 

           Alex slowly walks up the brown and green path. There's not really anything. It's all just bare. While she hardly expected the elaborate fairy tale defenses Sam had to go through to get to Bree, there should at least be something there. Shouldn't there? Why is there just nothing?

             Finally, in the distance she sees a bright flame, yellow, white and flickering blue, all a swirl. As she draws nearer she can see it's an enormous angel. It's six wings spread out, pure white with feathers of rippling light. It's form is so strong and feirce, a living moving flame. It's edges darken into red as it alights in front of her, somehow reduced to slightly larger than her size.  It's face is strikingly handsome in an almost feminine way with a vibrant energy, surrounded by a shock of dancing red flames. When it's lips move, the crackling snaps of fire greet her by name.

            "Michael?" she gapes as the intense heat starts to make her feel a bit faint.

            "My apologies." He contracts into the familiar vessel and takes hold of her arms to steady her. "Are you alright? Why are you in the abyss?"

            "Bree sent me to try to help bring back Raphael. You... Oh, Michael thank god you're back." She throws her arms around his neck completely overtaken with releif. "We thought you were trapped. They said Lucifer trapped you in the abyss."

             "No. He brought my grace back to me. I'm not sure how he gave it back, but he did. Who told you that? What happened? Raphael isn't here, just his grace, it's all black and in some odd sort of jade cocoon and it won't be moved. What's been going on? Lucifer told me heaven's turned against Raphael. Is this true?"

             Alex does her best to let the deeply worried angel know everything that's happened at least as far as she knows. When she tells him about Claire's betrayal she can see absolutely fury welling up in his eyes, far more frightening than anything she's ever seen from Gabriel, including that beyond startling scene in the temple.

             "She wasn't herself though. Itztlacoliuqui did something to her, freezing her heart. She was fighting it but..." Alex tries to defend her, but while he nods his anger doesn't ebb a single bit.

             "Who took him?"

             "We're not sure. We know at least one of them, Shepard, and there are seven other missing angels, well, dead angels. Lucifer slaughtered them, and kind of looked like he killed Raphael. He stabbed him and just left him behind at least, but you said he's not there." She can feel her heart skip at the thought. Did Lucifer really rescue him after all of just fail at killing him? "But shepards vessel said there were more angels involved that just weren't there for the slaughter. He doesn't know any names or anything.

              "Harahel and I were trying to find his body so he could return to it, one day but I guess we're looking for... we're looking for warehouse fires with a survivor. "Alex turns to run back but Michael catches her arm and just brings her to the entrance of the abyss instead. "Right, thank you." She smiles. "Can you take me to the library? Lucifer stole my laptop and I haven't been able to afford a replacement yet."

              "You're too corporeal, the librarians would blind you."

               "No, I meant my library. Of course, now I really want to see heaven's too." She smiles. She can't help it, Raphael's alive. Michael nods and brings her to the campus library, leaving almost immediately for heaven. Probably to start kicking ass and taking names.

               When she sits down at the nearest free computer, everything is shaken by multiple loud claps of thunder that are somehow neither followed by lightening or rolling black outs. Alright. Warehouse fires in the last six months, deaths, survivors, there are actually kind of a lot of them. She doesn't have enough money to print everything out and sort it properly, either. Maybe she should have asked to be brought to the bunker where she could at least use Sam's.

                "Alex." Harahel taps her shoulder. Alex looks back at her, still smiling. "Michael is back and Raphael is alive."

                "I know, that's why I can't stop smiling. It changes the search perameters, Help me find out where he could be. I... are you alright?" She stops at the utterly pale, shaken expression on Harahel's face.

                 "Michael is very unhappy."She says in what must be the understatement of the year. "he called every single angel back to heaven and then kicked us all out again forbidding re entry until Raphael is found and brought to him alive and unharmed."

                 "That's all? That doesn't sound so frightening."

                 "I thought all of heaven would be consumed by never ending flames." Hara looks like she might be the first angel to faint from sheer terror. Alex can't bring herself to feel too badly, both because she's too happy Raphael's alive, and because Hara while not exactly actively convinced he had turned evil, was more than willing to turn him in for questioning in the first place.

                 "Alright, well, c'mon. Research."Alex gets up and prods her over to her chair. "I'll bet you Michael's undying gratitude that we can find him first." Harahel just nods and starts looking at Alex's search results, scribbling in enochian, relaxing more and more as she gets absorbed in her work.

                "This is odd." Harahel comments. "Someone used paint bombs as an accelerant? Maybe that wasn't intentional."

                "Paint bombs?" Alex frowns, then widens her eyes. "That's actually kind of brilliant."

                 "What do you mean?"

                "Well, that would kind of take care of any and all wards and sigils keeping out hell and blocking communication with heaven, wouldn't it?"

                "I guess so, you'd have to go with volume over precision, though. Of course, that kind of seems like there was enough here."

                "Alright. Let me get a few things from my apartment. How are you at forgeries?"

                "What do you think the items in Heaven's library are?" Harahel almost sounds offended at the question. That explains why Claire and Krissy never get called out on their badges or disguises or anything. "What do you need?"

 

                Raphael just stares out the window, watching the clouds rolling in. There wasn't supposed to be a thunderstorm. It didn't even look like it was going to rain. But then again these senses are so limited in so many ways it's impossible to tell just by looking, the weather prediction systems are generally accurate but then there are exceptions.

                 "Alright, JD, time for vitals." the nurse, Patrick, wheels the blood pressure machine over to his bedside, insisting on giving him that ridiculous nickname for the equally ridiculous name of John Doe assigned to him since he didn't give any of his own. Raphael doesn't acknowledge him and just keeps looking at the clouds as he gets his blood pressure taken. "Damn." The nurse jumps a little at a particularly loud clap of thunder. "That one sounded like a strike. or at least a spare." he comments rather nonsensically. Raphael looks briefly at him, taking the offered thermometer. "My grandmother always said that thunder is just angels bowling in heaven." he explains. the thought actually strikes Raphael so hillariously absurd that a smile cracks his face for the first time since he awoke in the hospital room. If that is because something going on in heaven though, it's not pins being toppled.

                 "Is that a smile?" Another worker in the ward says cheerfully as she helps in his roommate, speaking in that condescending tone generally reserved for children and imbesciles, but that she uses for every single patient he's heard her talk to. It's meant kindly, he knows but still grates on his nerves. Especially the false cheerfulness taken a note too high. When Alex fakes optimism she at least does it with reasonably adorable believability. "Will we be participating in group today?" Raphael just ignores her looking back out the window.

                   "Thanks, Joan," Patrick says a bit curtly and writes down some numbers. "Take care, JD." he pats his shoulder and moves on to the next room.

                   "We'd love to have you. If it still hurts to walk, I have the chair right here,"Joan continues with her hideously artificially perky voice, but he has nothing remotely helpful to say so he just keeps silent.

                 There's not much point in saying anything to anyone, doing anything, thinking, feeling, living. In truth he just wants to return to the abyss where he can't make any more horrible mistakes or cause any more pain to the people he cared about again. But it was his attempt to do so that got him moved here in the first place and he no longer has the energy to even try. They only just allowed him silverware again, plastic of course, and only spoons. Eventually they'll stop trying to talk to him and go away. Eventually they'll stop trying to make him eat. Eventually they'll give up and just let him go one. One way or another they'll let him go.

                  His current roommate quickly falls asleep and starts snoring. He's all doped up on pain killers for his broken leg or something. He only speaks spanish, which half the staff assumes he does despite not hearing him say a word of anything at all and fairly clear evidence that he does in fact understand what they're saying to him even if he does ignore everything and refuses to respond. He's fairly sure that they put them together to get him to talk, which wouldn't work even if the man wasn't constantly sleeping.

                   What's the point anyway? There is absolutely nothing he could say that wouldn't just make him seem crazier than he already does. He's never been good at lies or half truths, most of his deceptions revolving around desperately hoping not to be asked questions, and that's all they do here. Ask him questions he knows better than to answer truthfully, with or without context. He doesn't have the strength to do anything even if he wanted to. Who knew this now thin, weakened body could feel so incredibly heavy even while wearing it.

                   "Mr. Jones, you have a visitor. Your brother is.. sir, wait, you can't .." Raphael looks back towards the door of the room to see what must surely be another hallucination. But the nurse is acknowledging this one.

                   "Michael?" He straightens up, slightly, saying the impossible name despite himself. When he reaches his arm out to touch the apparition it grabs him firmly by the arm and pulls him effortlessly up into probably the most crushing hug he's ever had.

                    "It's okay, little brother, I'm here." Michael doesn't loosen his grip a single bit.

                    "But.. but Lucifer..."

                    "Is a damn idiot without a fraction of sense and I am going to beat his ass into the next Day if he does not make this up to you, I swear by all that is." Michael snaps, his vessel warming in his anger. Raphael finds that somewhat of an odd statement but doesn't realy feel like questioning anything right now. Michael's back. "He got me my grace back, let me know you were in trouble. I tried to get back sooner, I did I just... I am so sorry, Raphael. You have always been there for me and I'm never there for you."

                     "That's not true," Raphael protests, "You got me out of that infernal ring of holy fire Castiel left me in. You were there when Meli died, when Gabriel left, when our father left. Maybe you weren't cooing over me like a damn baby the way Lucifer did Gabriel, but you were there and I knew when I really needed you, you'd have my back." How could Michael have ever thought anything else. Does he think Raphael didn't know how much he had to do? How much pain he was in? "You had so much on your shoulders, I should have done more or less or both. I just made everything worse. I failed you so badly and you're apologizing to me?"

                     "You did your best, Raphael. You were hurting, too. You made mistakes but you never should have been in that position in the first place. You kept me going, you kept all of heaven going for so very long, you even reopened the gates. I never could have lasted as long as I did without you. None of us could. Is there a single angel in all of creation that doesn't owe their life to you and your teachings or the life of those most dear to them? If those ungrateful brats can't remember that I will remind them by any means neccessary."

                    "Michael, I still..."

                     "I don't care. I don't care what you did or what you think you did. If any angel ever lays their hands on you again I will rip their wings off with my bare hands and beat them to death with them." Raphael just has to laugh at this. "I'm not joking."

                  "I know." He can't seem to stop smiling, though is chest is starting to ache from the strain of holding onto his big sister so very tightly.

                  "You're still injured." Michael finally lets go and kisses the top of his head erasing every bit of damage that still remains, leaving only the network of scars no angelic powers can ever undo. Michael hesitates when he sees this, a brief flare up of anger at the thought of Raphael being burned so directly with holy fire. Though he probably can't guess how, just thin threads soaked in holy oil, draped against his skin and set alight.  "I'm sorry, I should have done that first thing. Come on, Gabriel's waiting outside with Michele. They don't let infants in here."

                  "Oh?" While he's glad she's here, he's not eager to tell her about Lucifer's betrayal. She'll be so crushed, she believed in him more than anyone.

                  "She saved herself from an Aztec god while human and in labor. Apparently Gabriel gained the upper hand by infuritating him beyond reason and stabbing him when he was distracted."

                  "That does seem to be her signature move." Raphael rolls his eyes. "I can't just leave can I? Can we go?" Raphael reverts to english, looking over to the stunned nurse at the door.

                  "Uhhh... your wife is taking care of the paperwork. But if you... you can probably..." Raphael feels breifly confused by his words before realizing who it must be. Shame and fear mix with longing deep within him. He heard her prayers, loving, encouraging, supporting, almost every single one she sent his way once he woke even the ones she didn't mean to send, the ones where she cried out to him in her pain and torment, begging him for help. She was locked so deep inside her dreams he didn't realize at first that she was just reliving torture in nightmares. Finally he just couldn't take it anymore and somehow shut everything off.  What happened to her happened because of him. By rights he should never go near her again. Will she even be able to look at him without thinking of everything she endured for his sake? Could anything he could ever do make up for any of it? But why say she's his wife?

                "Come on." Michael puts a hand on his shoulder, giving him the usual breif squeeze at the base of his neck and gently guides him forwards. "She brought you some clothes to change into." Michael prods him toward the door. He can see Alex through the glass walls of the conference room, talking with the doctors. She looks just as handsome as always, if a little tired. Raphael on the other hand..

                  He can see his reflection in the glass, he's so thin and weak loosing what little muscle had remained after the first weeks of torment in Peru. The messy uneven growth of beard is just embarassing, but they didn't allow him forks so it was safe to assume that razors would have been out of the question. His hair is in a similar state, growing out just long enough to start to curl with loose messy curls closer to Gabriel's than his own. And the hospital gown is just so incredibly slovenly to begin with.

                  Before he can retreat back into the room, she turns her head and sees him. Raphael just freezes as she rushes out of the conference room right to him, only stopping a foot or so away, drawing her arms in, holding her ribs.

                  "Didn't you hear me praying to you?" she asks quietly, the hurt look on her face almost unbearable. Raphael just nods and looks away. "You couldn't have called me? Let me know you were alive? Even if you couldn't trust me to keep you safe you could have at least..." Couldn't trust her? To keep him safe?

                  "I'm sorry.. I couldn't... I couldn't. I couldn't drag you back into this anymore. Haven't you suffered enough for me? I'm not worth it, Alex." But this just seems to make her angry.

                  "You don't get to decide what or who I value, Raphael. Or how much they're worth to me." She looks so upset, "Raphael.." She unfolds her arms stepping forwards. "I was so worried about you, don't you ever do this to me again."

                  "I won't." He promises. What else can he do? Her hair is half falling into her eyes again. He catches himself as he goes to brush them behind her ear. She can't possibly want him to even touch her again. "I'm sorry."

                  "Don't be." Alex places a hand on his cheek and gently kisses his lips. "Ol cahirelanu a ila, remember?"

                  "Ol cahirelanu a ila." He can't help but smile as she puts her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Even if he doesn't deserve the affection, he can't bring himself to push her away. His wonderful Alex, healer of broken angels, "How did I ever exist without you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually kind of like the idea of Harahel more than I thought I would at first. Heaven's librarian, not even remotely an acceptable fighter at all, timid and a little cowardly, but unparalleled at research and lore and forgery and the like. An actual 'nerd' angel. First she was just a way to let Krissy learn enochian, but she kind of took on a life and personality of her own. They so often do that. My characters are too damn independant, that's why this thing is so frickin' long. The whole Alex and Raphael thing came way out of left field, but then again Dean and Castiel fell in love despite the intentions of their writers too, so I guess it's just one of those things. I didn't intend to make it a Michael and Lucifer romantic pairing either honestly, but they didn't really pay attention to me either. Oh, well, if they're happy, I'm happy.


	60. Forgiveness and Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael gets to meet his neice,  
> Alex gets some much needed support  
> Michael gets asked for a favor he has absolutely no desire to grant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't been able to guess what the archangels mean when they refer to days with a capital 'D' Days, they refer to enormous periods of time. We're currently in the Ninth Day. The seven Days of creation came first. The Eighth day encompassed from when Lucifer refused to bow to humanity all the way up to Christ dying on the cross, the same day that Lucifer was caged. The time periods aren't the least consistant, ranging from hundreds of thousands of years to trillions of them. But time is so malleable anyways that it's really hard to keep track of in heaven. While in real time the eighth day was the shortest, in terms of experience and significance, it was by far the longest.  
> It's also a bit significant in that two thousand years is next to nothing, the civil war that raged for hundreds of thousands of years, being barely over and none of the surviving angels really being able to recover from it. Also in that it means that Lucifer has only been fallen for slightly over an eighth of all of existence. For the first seven he was a hero and ruled heaven and earth in his father's absences as he created the universe. If you ever wonder why a third of the host would stand by him, beyond just writing them off as irrevokably evil, remember that.

          "When did this happen?" Michael finally has to ask as Alex and Raphael coo over Shelly together on Alex's couch. "Not that I object, but I thought Alex was seeing your son Fenris." Gabriel just gives an exhasperated sigh, and rests her head against his, adjusting her seat on the side of his arm chair slightly.

           "Rhys did something incredibly stupid."

           "What? He had an affair?"

           "She was the affair. He didn't break up with his girlfreind before starting to court Alex or at any point during their entire relationship either. She found out, because they always find out, and kicked him to the curb. I love my children but he really had it coming. She was so upset. Claire stopped hunting for weeks just to help her through it. She was already having a hard enough time what with your death and Raphael being missing, especialy given her intense girl crush on him. And then Lucifer rescued him from Itzy and the gang and brought him back here where thanks to his new utterly shaggable male body, their freindship rocketed into an intense undeniable torrent of physical passion."

             "Gabriel." Raphael snaps, glaring at his little sister beyond embarrassed, "I am right here."  Alex just sits oblivious, not having learned enochian yet.

             "Yes, I can see you very well, you gorgeous little beefcake you." she teases him because of course she can't help but tease him despite how incredibly happy she is at finding him alive, or maybe because of it.

             "Meaning stop talking about me as if I can't hear you and what's more do not ever refer to me as shaggable or anything similarly inappropriate comments about any of my bodies again. I find it incredibly disturbing." Raphael looks back down as Shelly starts to make a little fuss and starts to shush her, gently patting her side.

             "She was a little early so her gastric system isn't quite as mature as it should be. It just makes her a bit gassy though." Gabriel explains, "Though she's fairly precocious in everything else. So expressive. She's even smiled her first smile at daddy a few days ago." Gabriel switches back to english, getting a smile from Alex at the news. "He's absolutely gaga over her. And really there's nothing better than seeing a man cooing over a baby, right Alex?" Of course the two on the couch just look a bit embarassed at her drawing attention not only to Raphael's soft smile at his neice, but Alex's absolutely smitten look at him as he does so.

                "Gabriel, leave them alone."

                "What?" she protests in mock innocence, not fooling anyone. "Oh, hubby's awake. Time to take her back. He's trying to shove in as much time with her as he can before the next inevitable crisis arises."

                "Hold on." Michael pulls her back as she gets off the arm of his chair and gives her a tight hug. "I want you to know, your comment about the anaesthesiologist made me laugh my head off. The birth announcement came a close second."

                "You received that?" She smiles, incredibly pleased.

                "It lit up my entire world. You're a chaotic pain in the ass but I love you, paseh."

                "Geez, dying's made you all sappy."She sounds a bit embarrassed so he embarasses her more by smothering her cheek with kisses finishing by blowing a raspberry on her cheek. "Stop it that tickles." So of course he has to tickle her.

                 "Stop it both of you." Raphael snaps as Shelly, awakened by her mother's shriek of laughter, starts to cry with an utterly heartbreaking pout. "What's wrong with you?" he moves her to his shoulder bouncing her slightly until she goes back to sleep.

                 "Aw, I'm sorry, hunny bunny." Gabriel scrambles back up to take her daughter. Raphael just turns slightly to hold her away.

                 "Having a baby is a privilege not a right, young lady. Now are you going to behave yourself?" he demands.

                 "Give me my child before I smite you, old man." She retorts

                 "Children." Michael says firmly. Raphael reluctantly hands Shelly back to her mother who disappears the second she has her in hand. "Alex, can I talk to you alone a minute?"

                 "Sure, um.." She looks over to Raphael.

                 "I'm going to go shave if that's alright." He breifly takes her hand as he gets up.

                 "Of course, use anything you need. Mi casa su casa." She gives it a squeeze before letting go, the same discomfort and tension all through her body that he's noticed since first meeting her in the abyss.

                 "Are you alright?" Michael moves over to her on the couch so they can speak a bit more quietly.

                 "Yeah," she lies, not meeting his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

                "You tense every time someone touches you or you touch them or it looks as if they're going to, even just a little. Did any of my siblings hurt you as well? Don't be afraid to tell me, I will take care of this." He reassures her,

                 "No," She quickly shakes her head. "Claire did her best to protect me from them, but she ended up taking me somewhere I wasn't as safe as she though I would be." She puts her palms down against the edge of the sofa, pressing down to keep her arms from trembling, but it doesn't work. "She went to rescue Gabriel from Mictlan, and she did. It took her over a week though, I'm not entirely sure how long to be honest. That arrogant aztec bastard actually tried to convince me to worship him and be his preistess along side Claire."

                  "He didn't take the refusal well, I take it."

                  "No." Alex closes her eyes. "He sacrificed me, over and over again. Claire had taken Raphael's grace from the hotel room somehow, and gave it to him, so he'd cut me open, "she traces  her torso just below her ribs. "Rip out my heart and then use the grace to bring me back so I could watch him eating my own heart. I don't even know how many times hundreds, it was like he was starving and just couldn't get enough. That's probably why Raphael's grace just crumbled away when the eclampsia almost killed Gabriel. So much of it was used up on me."

                  That's likely true. Regenerating a body with missing pieces or extremely decayed is a lot harder and a lot more work than just reviving a largely intact one. but that's hardly her fault for her to sound so guilty about it. It doesn't explain why she doesn't want to be touched though, after trauma like that alot of humans generally prefer to be touched, especially by people they trust and care about. She was even incredibly tense with the kisses she gave Raphael along with their surprising though obviously heartfelt declarations of ultimate affection.

                  "And?" he asks the question he can see she wishes he didn't.

                 "And I don't want to talk about it. If I didn't know you'd find out at some point any way, I wouldn't have said this much. You're my patient, I'm not yours. I shouldn't..." but she can't seem to say anymore, just hugging her arms so tightly to herself.

                "I suppose if you consider me just a patient. I was hoping maybe you thought of me as a friend as well. You've done so much for me, isn't there anything I can do to help you? Even just by listening the way you listen to me. If you're afraid Raphael will hear, I can freeze time. That way we also won't be interrupted." He refrains from trying to reassure her with touch as she so often does him, just putting her hand on his or his arm.  The thought of Alex no longer feeling comfortable reaching out to the world around her, even as she can't seem to help herself is troubling.

                "Why not?" She gives a deflating sigh. "I'm an absolute failure at maintaining appropriate boundaries any way. Besides, I doubt I could exactly be an effective therapist for anyone at the moment anyway."

                 When she tells him he has to breifly excuse himself to go vent his anger on the surface of the sun. It's not a new crime, one of the oldest in fact. But he truth of it never hit him before now. To take an act of intimacy love and joy and turn it into an assault, a torture, a punishment is the biggest perversion since Lucifer's betrayal in the garden. What's more it deprives both her and his brother of a comfort he knows they both need right now.

                "I can protect you." Is all he can think to say. "I know I wasn't here before and I apologize for that, but I am now and I'll do my best to keep all of you safe."

                "Michael, you don't have to apologize for dying." She gives a wry grin. "It's fine. I'll be fine eventually. I know I will, I'm just not right now and won't be much good to anybody for a while."

                "I doubt that's true seeing as you already have been, finding Raphael for me.  But regardless, at the very least it's our turn to be good to you. I'll take Raphael somewhere else while we figure out what to do in regards to his grace."

                "You don't have to. You're both more than welcome to sty here. I know you can't exactly go back to the cottage. I doubt it'd have enough good memories now even if you could. Michael, you can't leave him alone right now, at all. He really believed that Lucifer was changing. He wouldn't even call her Lucifer anymore just Helel. He.. did he tell you why he was in the psychiatric ward?"

                "No, I assume because he wasn't speaking to anyone. But he was upset and he'll do that when he's upset or very angry, just not saying anything,  I was surprised he asked you for therapy given how much it involved talking."

                "It was kind of like pulling teeth half the time." She admits. "He would talk but not about what we should be talking about."

                 "Even that's kind of impressive. But that and the fact that he doesn't seem to have the hang of eating quite yet, though honestly he should given how he kept after all of us to eat enough and properly. " Michael shakes his head. Maybe he just wasn't hungry. When mammals are hurt or upset sometimes they just don't want to eat. You'd think a hospital would have a way to deal with that. Granted, it's not likely they had many patients as stubborn as Raphael can be.

                 "Well, that probably would have gotten him there eventually, but as soon as he could get out of bed, he tried to kill himself. If the doctor hadn't forgotten his clipboard and heard him breaking the mirror, he probably would have succeeded. Lucifer just absolutely destroyed him and if she ever comes back here I'm more than a little curious about what it feels like to reach into someone's chest and rip out their beating heart." The cold vicious fury in her voice is kind of adorable, but not as cute as the fact that she's even considering that she'd be anything close to a match for Lucifer no matter what his condition.

                 "He wasn't betraying him though." Michael sighs and brings up the backpack Lucifer left him. "He really is getting better, but you can't erase eons of backwards convoluted thinking in months." the journal is under the large now empty clay jar.

                  "What's that?" Alex asks as he places it on the coffee table for a moment.

                  "The jar? Lucifer brought me my corpse. Granted it was dehydrated, crushed to a powder and vaccuum sealed into a relatively small bag, but it was all there and not too difficult to restructure. He didn't want to leave it where any ghouls or demons could get at it. Really I just needed a little hydrogen dioxide and I was surrounded by that. It was thoughtful if a little disturbing." he sighs but notices the twitch of a smile on Alex's face. "What?"

                  "Instant Michael, just add water." She replies. He allows himself a grin. "But how the hell could stabbing him and leaving him for dead in the middle of a freezing warehouse that she set on fire not be betraying him? I am really struggling to figure that out."

                   "Here." Michael opens the journal to the last page and hands it to her.

                   "I can't read enochian." she reminds him.

                  "Right." he taps the page, superimposing a translation. "This is from when he returned my grace to me. I tried my hardest to come back and save them but I was too late. If it weren't for my father I don't know if I'd have even been able to emerge in the same Day."

                  "You saw your father? I thought he was dead."

                  "We both were." Michael smiles. Alex clearly struggles between asking about it and continuing with Lucifer's message. "I'll tell you about it afterwards."she nods and continues reading.

                  "What the hell is wrong with that girl?" Alex exclaims as she finishes. "I can see what she's trying to do, but I still want to hurt her. How could she possibly think that making everyone including him believe that she just fooled and used him, tricking him into beleiveing she was reformed, would be less devestating to him than being rejected and mistrusted by siblings who already held a grudge. It's like she thinks the only one capable of deciding what's best for anyone is her." Alex slams the book shut.  "Though it does make other things make more sense." She reluctantly admits. "Like leaving Shepard alive. There was no good reason for that."

                  "He doesn't really understand Raphael very well. They were never close and I don't think people really understand how deeply he feels things. We're both so much more emotional than our siblings, though they're definitely more expressive about it. Raphael's much better at keeping it under control than I am, even if it does seem to make him a little irritable at times." Michael takes back his journal. "He'll understand, you know, how you're feeling right now. He usually does. I know you probably know what ol cahirelanu a ila means, as a translation." he feels a bit abashed even just saying it aloud in any context.

                  "I rejoice in thee." She nods smiling a bit as she says it. "He can be surprisingly poetic."

                  "It's from a poem. The Song of Solomon. It's been used as a statement of the highest devotion since it was written. I know human's use the phrase 'I love you' for maybe a thousand different ways. That one's a bit more specific."

                  "I think I kind of like that a bit better, too." she smiles weakly, "But he doesn't mean it like he thinks he does. He's just overwhelmed by all these human feelings he having. It always feels like love in the beginning, especially when you're first you know, together. I doesn't always mean what you think it does, all these feelings."

                  "But its worth finding out though, isn't it? I know you're scared but that's no reason to push him away. You might find it's the worst thing you could have done, even if you thought it was right. If you don't feel even close to as strongly as he does that's one thing. He should have explained to you what it really meant, but you have to know he'd never hurt you. Not even remotely like Rhys did. He's nothing if not stubbornly loyal." He reminds her.

                    "It would be better for him if he wasn't."

                    "Lucifer felt the same way apparently." Michael waves the journal. "That stupid arrogant brat. But it's his decision to make, right? If you don't want to have anything with him, then you don't but if you do, then the rest is his decision." Not that he doesn't understand how she's feeling. The potential ethical complications, the situation, all the charged emotions. Of course, he's not exactly sure he wants to explain how he understands just yet.  Especially given how mad he is at Lucifer right now.

                     "You're going to show that to him, aren't you?" Alex nods to the journal.

                     "Of course, but he's not going to be happy either way so I thought I'd let him coo over Shelly a little bit first. Holding sleeping babies always seem to relax people."

                   "Let me do it." Alex holds out her hand to take the book back. "I'll talk to him while you go let your siblings back into heaven." The grin she has shows immense approval. "I wish I'd seen that. Harahel looked like she was going to just pass out from sheer terror. Your angelic form was so strong and impressive from what I saw, I can't even imagine how intimidating you must be in a full out rage."

                   "It was a little excessive."Michael admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "I can't even remember the last time I lost my temper that badly. And I somehow managed to wipe out every peice of technology they managed to translate to heaven. I don't even know how."

                    "Well, you did go nuclear, maybe it was the EMP." Alex jokes, though that's fairly close to accurate. Loss of temper or the use of power, it can have similar effects to nuclear fusion, there's a reason why the apocalpyse would have been so devastating. Alternating hot and cold to such extreme degrees, aside from just extreme local damage, would have just thrown the weather into complete chaos all over the globe. But at the time it seemed it was either that or letting Lucifer just destroy everyone and half was better than none. It didn't even occur to him to think another way was possible or even acceptable. The belief in predestination that held his pain and guilt back like a brace was just too strong. What he would have done just fills him with shame.

                 "EMP?" he ask, not completely familiar with the term.

                 "Electromagnetic pulse. Alot of modern technology uses magnetized components that EMP's destroy."

                 "That would explain it." Michael shakes his head. And why he keeps breaking electronics when he gets frustrated. Though not how he managed to do it even without his grace. "Alright. I need to finish my conversation with Castiel anyhow. The little brat actually stayed behind to argue with me about being too heavy handed."

                  "Yes, well, just remind him what he did to Ardras when Rahab send Dean to the empty. If he wants to talk about disproportionate responses." Alex rolls her eyes. "I think you were more than justified, but then again I am a little biased." Michael's a little curious about what she's referring too but it's likely enough information to be effective. As long as Castiel knows what's being mentioned that's enough. He can probably ask Gabriel later anyway.

                  "Is there anything you need? More food?  Toiletries?"

                  "I think we're alright." Alex shakes her head, but seems to hesitate.

                  "Don't be afraid to ask me for anything, Alex."

                  "You're kind of a living flame, right?" She asks reluctantly.

                  "Close enough."

                  "So, melting things should be kind of easy for you, right?" Alex looks almost guilty at the question. What on earth does she want him to do melt the ice caps and flood the world?

                  "The tricky part is often avoiding it, but yes, generally." He nods. Alex looks down at her hands. "What do you need me to do?" It takes her a few moments to respond.

                  "Claire, she's frozen with these darts. They can't seem to undo it. Maybe.. maybe you could melt them. I know you probably don't feel very inclined towards helping her after what she did, but it would mean a lot to me if you would try."

                  Alex is a hundred percent correct. He doesn't feel the least inclined to do anything to help the young woman who handed his little brother over to be tortured and betrayed the one she considered a sister, no matter what she really meant to do with that. Alex suffered immensely because of her actions, maybe as much as Raphael. He tries to find a way to refuse that can convey how utterly unreasonable it is of her to ask him this without being cruel, but he can't.

                "You know who her father was, right?" Alex adds when he doesn't respond. "Castiel's vessel, Jimmy Novak. When Raphael killed him, he killed them both. she found out at the worst time, and with him protecting Lucifer it just.. it was so easy for her to believe the worst. I don't know when he got to her, but she was in so much pain, when Itzlacoliuqui offered her justice, she believed him. At least long enough for him to get past her guard."

                "So you've forgiven her for what she did to you?"

                "I'm trying. I hurt her first, choosing to protect Raphael against her, but because it was right, not because of my feelings for him. Not just because of them. You don't have to forgive her. Why should you? She's nothing to you but some wayward human who handed your baby brother over to be tortured. But you said I could ask you for anything, so I'm asking you to show mercy and try to save her from her own mistakes. Even if you don't want to, even if she doesn't deserve it."

              The thought still angers him. Maybe Raphael did kill Jimmy Novak, but he had given himself to Castiel as a vessel. The angel had used it to rebel against all of heaven. Maybe it turned out in the end to be the right thing to do, but at the time he was just a fallen angel that needed to be stopped. Novak chose to let  Castiel use and stay in his body, making him less than just an innocent bystander.  
               And he's already showing Claire mercy, sparing her punishiment for this. She's the one who chose to take up with a pagan god and it's not his responsibility to save her from the consequences of that. Let Castiel take care of her. He was the one who brought Novak into the whole affair in the first place. Michael reaches out automatically to take a honey stick from the coffee mug on the coffee table only to realize it's no longer there.

               "Lucifer stole them when he dropped off Nick and Denny. I'd only ever bought them for you, so there wasn't a point in replacing them, with you being gone." Alex explains, knowing exactly what he's reaching for and probably why. "It's okay. I was asking too much."

                 But mentioning Lucifer makes him feel a bit guilty. Can he really justify withholding forgiveness and mercy from a human girl who lashed out at someone who took from her someone just as important to her as Raphael is to him? Especially when he's fully intending on demanding both be given to one who's arguable done far worse than any other being in all of creation. Is she really that much less deserving of it that he is?

                  He knows the good she's done, how much she did for Gabriel, how close they are, or were before this. Should this erase everything else she is? Even if it hurt someone he loves more than almost anything. Besides, if it was deserved it wouldn't be mercy. And you can't have forgiveness if there's nothing to forgive. He's done so much worse himself what right does he have to judge her so harshy?

                 "Alright." he sighs. "I'll see what I can do, but I'm not making any promises."

                 "Thank you." She gives him a grateful smile.

                 "If anything happens at all and you need me here just pray my name and I will be here instantly I promise. Now where is she? The bunker?"

                 "No, with her girlfreind in Helheim." Of course. That's not going to be awkward at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Alex trying to hard to be reasonable and rational about the whole thing with Raphael, and having it just fly right out the window every time he's around her. Because it's true that the situations lead to all kinds of emotional confusion and rebound relationships rarely work out. Meanwhile he's just fallen so incredibly hard and I'm sure it's in no small part due to his unfiltered humanity. I'm not even sure it'll end up working out. It could and I think they're kind of a cute couple, but while romantic and passionate as hell, it's not exactly the best way to start a lasting relationship. But you never know. Some people marry their high school sweethearts and are happy for the rest of their lives no matter how many people don't. Just because there may not be anything more doesn't mean there definitely isn't. So fingers crossed people and lets wish the love birds luck.


	61. Breaking Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hel has to decide whether or not to let Michael into her domain to try to help Claire, visits her new little sister and gets to hear a little about baby Gabriel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Heat induced writers block. It's really ridiculous. It'll be a humid 98 the day I start typing this chapter up so if it doesn't get up until very late, I apologize. thanks for bearing with me :)
> 
> Yes, Gabriel is still a girl in this chapter but Hel is kind of stuck thinking of her as a him, as she was her father for thousands of years and didn't exactly stay in one form then.
> 
> Aeschylus, the father of greek tragedy, reportedly met his demise one day In Athens when he was hit on the head by a turtle falling from the sky. Greek eagles would frequently drop turtles from great heights onto rocks to break the shells so they could eat them. It's debatable whether this report was true or not and not just a joke obituary from a rival which outlasted his real one, but yes, this is an actually story from history.

       "Absolutely not," Hel responds cooly, unable to believe that her uncle Michael could think she'd possibly allow him access to Helheim. "You're not going anywhere near my Claire. All nine realms heard that outburst of yours in heaven and if you think I'm letting you anywhere near that girl, you clearly left all sense of reason back in the abyss."

        "Very well," he backs down surprisingly quickly. "If you change your mind you know how to reach me."

        "Pardon?"

        "The only reason I would ever have considered offering to help that young woman is because her sister requested it of me.  But not for one minute do I believe she'd want me to wage war on you to do it. I'm fairly certain my sister wouldn't be to happy with it either."   Fairly reasonable, of course they wouldn't want him to destroy her either and that's more what she's worried about.

        "You really expect me to believe that you would try to help Claire Novak just because Alex asked you to?" She crosses her arms looking at the clearly irritated angel. the power cracking around him doesn't look the least bit friendly. 

        "The debt my brother and I owe Miss Jones is of far greater magnitude than any crimes Claire may have committed. I'm not claiming I'm not deeply unhappy with her and her actions but I gave my word, if that means anything to you."

         "If you were a norseman maybe." Hel retorts. "Most of my uncles don't seem to be that trustworthy." Though the insult seems to make him bristle every bit as much as it would any of the aesir, though less violently.

          "As I said. If you change your mind you know how to reach me." he disappears without another word. Hel starts to feel a bit uneasy. If she's learned anything it's that angels are not to be trusted. While Lucifer is denounced as the worst of them, the rest don't seem much better. She's read the books.

           Not that Michael seemed much more than an arrogant douche, but there wasn't really all that much about him. Of course, he was in charge of heaven at the time, being an arrogant douche is almost a requirement for ruling. Her father would know the extent of his character better than she would, but trusting any of her step family with her aiskling is never going to be at the top of her list. Not that any but her father would have ever been likely to offer assistance until recently.

            A visit to see her little stepsister is overdue. Not that babies are good for much this young anyway. She does vaguely remember her father cooing over Yuri. It'll be interesting to see how he behaves to his actual child, though really, the thought of this one is just as surreal as thinking about sleipnr, if not more so. What part of the child is actually part of him? The vessel he's in now, while his own is no more him than the old one.

            Or is an angel something like an autonomouis sould, making the body they're in when either occupying a vessel or reborn after removing their grace in heaven, as much their own as any living human soul's is theirs. Of course that leads into heavy philosophical territory with no good answers. Besides it's a debate she has no real investment in. Michele is her sister as much as Loki her father and that's as complicated as it needs to be.

           When she takes herself to the still being repaired bunker, she's very surprised to find her father in the middle of an argument with some incredibly ugly aztec god with backward feet.

          "I let it go when you and your new freinds killed my brother and desecrated his corpse, and I'm even willing to possibly let it go that your brother killed my mother, but this is beyond any and all acceptable behavior." the man snarls.  What on earth could be worse than either of those two things? Knowing the oddness of her father and some of his freinds, it's likely something ridiculously mundane like eating the last of his potato chips.

           "Xolly, I don't know what you're talking about." her father protests putting a hand on the God's shoulders.

           "I'm talking about your reapers invading Mictlan and abducting my spouse! You had no right to do this, Coyotl. None!"

           "First off, heaven does not control the reapers. They work directly for Azrael who herself answers directly to death himself. If I could make any of them do my bidding, things would have happened a lot differently three years ago. Secondly, how could you think I'd do that to you? Even if I could. Aside from that one unfortunate bitchiness in Mictlan for which I'm deeply sorry, I have never been anything but good to you and you know it." Hel can honestly believe that. Her father did seem to have a soft spot for the ugliest of monsters, though she's not sure why.

            "I kept my treasure safe hundreds of years, Coyote. It's not until you show up..." he starts but is silenced by a fairly pissed off look from the archangel in front of him.

            "Until what happened, Xolotl?" Her father asks again, the aztec looking a bit uncomfortable. "That's what I thought. Now cool your jets, and sit down a minute. I am sorry about coa-coa but he didn't exactly leave me much choice. I can't say the same about your mother because she was an utter bitch to you, but Lucifer probably didn't have any choice about it either, not that he would have taken it if he had. You'd have thought coa-coa would have taken the hint and backed off after that, maybe even gone into hiding, but no... every single one of his faces was just too damn arrogant for that."

            "He never could let things go." The aztec, Xolotl gives an unhappy sigh. "He wasn't always that bad."

            "I know. I'm sorry, Xolly. But look on the bright side, it's fairly certain he'll be reborn somewhere. You two were human once after all." Her father chucks his chin. That's almost as surprising to hear as the fact that the jotun are actually descended from nephilim. Apparently their father did a lot of rescuing during the floods, hiding the youngest, most innocent, in various realms. She's honestly surprised that his father let him get away with it.

            "It's that obvious?" He cringes. Her father just shrugs, which is probably the best answer the god's going to get. Who knows how her father knows half the things he knows. Though granted it's a bit more obvious now, knowing he's an angel.

            "Look, because you came and asked me so very nicely, I will look into it. But first, daddy's little girl needs something."His smile is pretty much the same even in the new body, there are even the same dimples. "Come to see your little sister?"

             "Yes. Thank you for not giving me another brother." She just has to say. Because really two brothers are annoying enough.

             "The boys being a pain the butt?"

             "They think I should be a bit more sympathetic to Rhy's girl problems, given I also tend to have girl problems.  Of course they completely ignore that I seldom have the same kind of girl problems they do as I'm not an idiot who would cheat on a valkyrie in the first place. And that I should dump Claire, for shooting him at the very least. Who is this disrespectful creature?" Hel nods to the sullen mesoamerican nearby.

              "My bestie from my aztec days, Xolotl. Xolly this is my other daugher Hel. She rules the norse underworld, Helheim. Xolly's actually in charge of Mictlan now. He was initially just a guide but he took the initiative when the other gods died out."

              "Christianity destroyed my pantheon." he says flatly.

              "Welcome to the club." Hel turns back to her father. "I also need to talk to you about your brother."

              "What's Lucifer done now?" he sighs, leading Hel off to the nursery.

              "I'm here about Michael. He asked permission to enter Helheim and see if he could help revive Claire." The surprised look on her father's face mirrors her own, though with much less suspicion. "He said Alex Jones asked him to."

               "Oh, I can see that." he tilts his head to consider, then smiles broadly. "Any progress?"

               "I didn't say yes. Are you insane?"

               "You do realize that there is very little you could do to actually stop him if he decided to just do it regardless."  Her father points out.

               "I do have the hall warded as you taught me to, father." she reminds him a bit testily. Really, it's as if he thinks she wasn't paying attention.

               "Yeah, none of that keeps out archangels. Do you really think I'd teach you how to lock me out of your room little girl? Please."

               "You don't think he's gone there anyway?" Hel tried to go back home to save her darling, but her father grabs hold of her arm and keeps her there.

               "No. He obviously doesn't want to do anything at all, if he stopped to ask your permission first. So he won't until you do. It's going to be a long time before he's over what happened to Raphael, but just because he doesn't want to do something he believes he should, for whatever reason that is, doesn't mean he won't, If he's willing to try and bring Claire back to us, you should let him." he leans over the side of the crib looking at the baby who's shaking a small toy. "Hey, shelly, guess who's here? Your big sister Hela. Hela's here to see you."  The baby gives an excited shreik and starts kicking her little legs.   

                "Lala, lalala." Shelly coos.

                "Is she trying to say hela?" Hel smiles. She is a precocious thing.

                "No, she'll do that sometimes. She wants something when she does, but I haven't been able to figure out what it is. She'll start crying soon when she doesn't get it. Obviously someone knows and gives it to her or she wouldn't keep expecting it, but it's nobody I've talked to. I swear this is going to drive me crazy. It's as bad as her slipping into the veil when no one's around. I've had to have her guarded day and night and of course, now she doesn't do it. I swear, this child is going to cause nothing but trouble." He sounds so incredibly proud of that, which is admittedly like him. Loki was never a fan of boring. Sure enough the happy lala's turn to sad lalas and Shelly starts to pout.

                "Maybe it's just nonsense" Hel suggests because she is a baby after all.

                "lala, mamama, lalalala."

                "I have no idea what you want little girl. I'm sorry." Her father picks her up and holds the teary eyed babe to his chest. Shelly gives a heavy sigh and just rests her head down against his shoulder, a very familiar, cross frustrated expression on her little face before she starts gnawing on her fist.

                "Lalala." is the final petulant attempt before the girl seems to notice Hel.

                "Do you want to hold her?"

                "Maybe when she's in a better mood." And a little older and less likely to drool all over her clothing, or worse. "But about Claire..."

                "Mmm. Would it make you feel better about things, if I was there with Michael when he tried to help her?" he gently pats his daughter's back. She just sort of tolerates it.

                "If he tried to hurt her, could you stop him?"

                "Oh, dad, no." He laughs. "Not a chance. It's more psychological in that even if he was tempted to murder my best freind, I doubt he'd do it in front of me."

                "That's not at all reassuring."

                 "Hate to break it to you, kiddo, but if you actually think he would do any of that, there's not exactly much I could say or do to reassure you. But some on, he's not Lucifer for dad's sake. You can pretty much take his word at face value." Well, that's something at least. her father does have an understanding of the value of one's word, but also of how it can be broken for the sake of a loved one, so it's still not exactly a surety.

              "Did you hear that ruckus in heaven though? I thought the sky itself was going to burst into flames."

               "Hear, nothing, I was there, it was fantastic. Cassie's as big of a badass as he is a sweetheart, but it's really hard to remember alot of the time. Probably because Raphael and I keep turning him into a kitten, but either way you can only rule based on love and fairness so much. There has to be an appreciation of consequences. Plus he's as skittish about trying to directly rule anything again as he was of the ocean, so... yeah." her father gets a breifly thoughtful look and snaps his fingers. Nothing happens. She thinks. She's afraid to ask."So, will you let Michael try and help Claire?"

                "Do you think he really can?"

                "I don't know. Maybe."

                "Alright, but you're going to be present."

                "Of course, I'll bring Shelly. Babies are the ultimate morality pet. How'd you like to see Uncle Michael, elgra?" he coos.

                "lalala" is the sullen reply. Her father just shakes his head and gives the girl a kiss.

                "Hold on, I have to let Sam know where we're going so he doesn't think she's slipped into the veil again." Which is a fairly remarkable thing, in Hel's mind. It's not like him not to vanish into thin air, or not just do things without letting anyone know. She's not sure whether it was his stint as human that did it, or his new husband.  Maybe both. Either way, he's much less of a pain in the ass now. Not that many people could tell.

              

                 When they return to Helheim, Hel is only partially surprised to find a little black and white kitten curled up on Claire's chest. She struggles not to laugh, but when he raises he head to glare at his older sibling, and reveals a tan collar and tiny blue clip on ties, it becomes near impossible.

                 "Just to warn you, Cassie. Michael's on his way to try and help Claire." Her father reaches down to scratch behind the annoyed little ears. It does nothing to help quell the younger angels' irritation. "None of that or I'm leaving you like this." he responds to an unheard comment.

                 "Gabriel, stop tormenting your little brother." Michael's finally arrived. He reaches down and picks up the fuzzy thing by the scruff of it's neck. "I will see what I can do for Claire. You in the meantime are to go stand watch over Alex and Raphael until I relieve you personally. I hold you fully responsible for the actions of those under your command and until this is all sorted out, you will ensure that nothing like that happens to them again. Understood?  Good." He snaps the kitten away. He looks over to his little neice and gives his sister a questioning look. "I thought you were bringing her to Sam."    

                 "False alarm. He kind of woke up and then went immediately back to sleep at the absence of a fussing baby. It's been a long week. I've been all over the place so he's had night duty. Anyways she started doing that lala thing again and is all cranky now so I brought her along."

                "lalala lala." she pouts as if on cue.

                "She sounds like you." Michael cracks a smile and kneels down beside the bed next to Claire.

                "What are you talking about?" her father sounds a bit embarrassed, reminding Hel that Michael is probably a font of baby Gabriel stories. If the archangels were ever children and not just fully formed. Though if they weren't growing creatures that makes little sense for any sort of God to purposefully create someone like her father. 

               "Gabriel took a very long time to learn to speak properly." her uncle addresses Hel with this, keeping his eyes on Claire. "It was almost a Day before she could say 'Raphael'. I'm not sure how she managed to get Labbiel out of it though. I suspect their older brother has something to do with that. Half of the fledglings thought that was his actual name far longer than they should have. And then she tried to pretend it wasn't a mistake at all and seeded angel lore with that ridiculous story about his name change."

               "And yet he never even tried to correct the lore." Her father adds with an utter lack of shame, not that she expected anything else. "I don't recall going lalala though."

               "No, you were too young to remember I suppose." He puts a hand to Claire's forhead and one to her heart. "Your brother was determined to make his name your first word, since Raphael's was mine, but you couldn't manage the 'h' and kind of went from lala to lalal to elel which he declared good enough and turned you loose on heaven, where you promptly took off running and fell into a pit."

               "How is elel close to Lucifer? And how did she fall into a pit in heaven? That's not something you generally associate with divine rewards." Hel can't help but ask, though her eyes are equally glued to Claire. It looks as if some color is starting to return to her, though her lips are still horribly blue.

               "That wasn't his name until Roman times. The one our father gave him was Helel Ben Sahar." Michael ignores her father's almost frantic gesturing not to say that. "It was withheld from scripture almost entirely except in one place where it could be interpreted to be referring to someone else entirely. I assume you had something to do with that, paseh." her father just smiles.

               "Helel... you named me after the devil!" Hel turns to her father, the realization absolutely infuriating her.

               "No, of course not." He protests. "I named you in memory of my favorite brother, the crown jewel of heaven, not what he became." The guilty dimpled smile he gives her doesn't help at all.

               "Unbelievable."

               "It actually became incredibly funny when they started calling your underworld domain helheim and then the Christians shortened it to Hel and renamed Sheol after it. Oh I can only imagine how much that pissed off Luci when that became wide spread. He worked so hard to have that name completely and utterly forgotten and then everyone labels his kingdom of torture after it. Oh, that was better than that whole Labbiel story. It really was." he laughs, ending with a deeply satisfied sigh. "The unintentionally funny things are really the best kind."

               "I don't know, I still think your killing the father of greek tragedy by dropping a turtle on his head was the funniest thing yet." Hel comments. Even Yuri laughed at that one and they were already pretty estranged.

               "He deserved it." her father defends himself at the reproachful look he gets from his brother at this revelation. "How's Claire? Can we focus on Claire?"

                "She should be alright." Michael removes his hands. "The last dart is deep within her soul and she'll have to excise it herself but she's physically and mentally restored so it shouldn't be too great of an issue. I'll go relieve Castiel so he and Dean can come see her."

                The change in Claire is nothing short of miraculous, her lips are no longer purple and she's breathing so clearly The rise and fall of her chest is as calming as the waves at sea.

               "Thank you, uncle." Hel tries not to sound too emotional, or contrite, as she is the queen in this realm, and moves to her lovers side as soon as Michael is gone. Her hand's still a bit cool, but nothing like it was, even at the first meeting after Krissy called.  She should have known something was wrong then and never let her leave, that way all this could have been avoided.

                "I have to go see to Xolotl. Call me when she wakes, okay, baby girl?" Her father gives both her and Claire a kiss on the head before vanishing.

                "Claire, kjaerlighet." there's finally at last a little response to her voice. "It's time to wake up, aiskling. Everything is alright. Bree is safe." Though It feels odd to refer to her father anything but Loki, it's how her little sunbeam knows him. "She had the baby. Alex is safe and sent you help but you have to do a little bit on your own now. You're so strong and brave it should be easy. You'll shatter that thing and wake and I'll warm you up and make you my Valkyrie so you can stay with me here the rest of your days."

                 "We talked about this," The hoarse, annoyed response just thrills her, and she sees the blue eyes crack open for the first time in so long. "I love you but I'm not leaving the states, and I'm not becoming a damn Valkyrie."

                 "Oh, but you'll worship that drittsekk Coa-coa as his damn priestess." Hel shoots back, before composing herself. This isn't the time, she just got her back, there's no need to ruin the wonderful moment with a fight. The guilty, shame filled look on Claire's wear face just breaks her heart. "Never mind. Never mind that. Everything's fine. You're alive, you're well, that's all that matters." She puts her hand to the girls face, her beautifully warm face.

                 "Hel, I made such a horrible mistake." Claire pushes herself up. "I brought Alex to him and he... tortured her. He.. was he even really trying to save Bree at all?"

               "No," Hel sighs, "He was going to kill her and use the baby's blood to forge weapons capable of killing anything. He was going to give them to the demons to wage war on heaven and destroy every angel they could find, including Castiel and any human who opposed them." It's not a pleasant truth, but it's the truth and better to hear it from someone who loves her than one who's angry with her for her part. "You were deceived, mein kjaerlighet. Deceived and enchanted. It's not your fault."

               "Not my fault? I betrayed my friends, my family." Hot tears start to fall from her eyes. "I betrayed everybody. I... I shot Rhys mostly for breaking Alex's heart and then go and hand her over to someone who ripped it from her chest, over and over again. Whatever Rhys did, he never would have hurt her like that, like any of what he did. And when I found out I did nothing. I gave him a warning. A goddamn warning!" Claire gives a bitter laugh and just buries her face in Hel's neck, letting her hold her and whisper the usual sweet nothings into her ear.

             Hel wishes intently at that moment that they were actual terms of innocent affection and not poetic sounding dirty talk. She's change it to something more appropriate right now, but if she did, Claire would notice. She'd probably get a little suspicious too and the explanation would cause no end of trouble and likely a fight that neither of them need right now.

             "It's alright. It'll be alright." She kisses her lovers cheek. Claire's back is trembling still, but when she resumes her soothing, Hel discovers it's due to laughter and not tears.

              "You do know, that I do actually know what you're saying, right?" Claire informs her breaking apart.

             "What? What do you mean?" Hel blushes, not sure why she's even trying to lie at this point. Though Claire could just be bluffing.

             "I do have google translate on pretty much all of my devices."

             "You have what?"

             "It's an app. It translates the spoken words of one language into an other now. Not just written."

             "Oh, technology. You can't trust technology, it's so inaccurate, or at least far too literal." She hedges seizing the opportunity, and brushes Claire's hair back behind her ears.  Claire just leans back in and whispers the rather crude but accurate English translations back into her ear. "If you must put it in the absolutely bases way possible."

             "Everything's classier when you can't understand it." Claire grins, her eyes, still all red and puffy. "How can I free them? Alex... what I did.. What I said to her."

              "Well, she did turn on you first, aiskling, it's not as if she has nothing to apologize for. Choosing a wingless angel over you, really. That she may have been right to do so in this situation, is of not real consequence. Though she didn't seem to let any grass grow under her feet after Fenris, that's for certain." Hel can't help but feel a little bit prickly over how fast Alex took up with someone else.  Yes, maybe Rhys was an idiot, but she thought they were in love enough to at least give their relationship a longer mourning period.

             "She may have been right?" Claire says softly.

             "Oh, my Claire, you would not believe all the things I heard, from father, my uncles, the Winchesters and even from that adorable little spirit, Denny." Hel proceeds to fell her about Lucifer's journey to hell to retrieve Raphael's grace. How he retrieved almost a hundred angel blades from hells armory and returned them to heaven. How he broke into the bunker and neither killed nor injured a helpless sam in anyway and furthermore how he went and enabled Michael to return from the abyss.

             Of course there's still that bit of confusion surrounding his disavowal of reform and betrayal of Raphael, but it probably would have been the best way to clear his little brother of suspicion of having been anything but grossly deceived and more easily returned to heaven's good graces. The whole affair is twisty and confusing, but she doesn't exactly expect less from any sibling her father was once close to.  The results themselves can't be argued as anything but ultimately favorable for all his siblings. Though the methods of achieving them are less than ideal. Of course all this just seems to depress Claire even more.

            "You'd think that choosing to oppose the devil would have been as sure bet." Claire sighs and lays back down, her entire body just deflating.

            "Since when is life ever that simple, especially when father's involved in any way. It'll be alright, sotnos, I promise."

            "Stop making empty promises and just come here and warm me up." Claire smiles and tugs at her sleeve. She's so disrespectful, and just as hard to resist. Mortals, they're nothing but perfect, wonderful trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently there's lore that says the archangel Raphael was originally named Labbiel and had his name changed as a reward for opposing Lucifer in the rebellion when his comrades didn't. That's not true at all. In fact, Gabriel's early difficulty in talking was something she was once more embarrassed about than Lucifer is about his. But her darling big brother managed to turn it into a joke on Raphael instead to let her laugh about it, and it kind of stuck for way longer than it really should have. Raphael didn't find it nearly as funny as they did. Michael honestly found it too cute to understand why Raphael minded quite so much.
> 
> In truth if he hadn't missed Gabriel so much by the time he found out about her extending the joke into official angel lore in the form of the Labbiel story, he'd have erased the entire thing from the minds of everyone on earth, propriety be damned. He also believed it was done on one of her trips to the future to predeliver messages and not in her self imposed exile. Really she was just kind of missing him a little and took a risk to tease him or at least let him know she was okay.
> 
> If you're wondering why Michael would be so chatty while trying to melt the darts and ice threaded through Claire's being, he's trying to keep himself thinking happy thoughts so he doesn't accidentally flare up and hurt her. The opportunity to tease his little sister and put Claire's hovering girlfreind at ease was as good a distraction as any. That is the unfortunate thing about Michael being the eldest created being, with his father gone there's no one to tell cute baby Michael stories. Granted he considers that a perk more than anything else. He maintains it's because there's nothing to tell. Really it's because most of them involve him accidentally burning down heaven when overly excited or frustrated. (power incontenence is generally as embarassing to multidimentional wavelengths of celestial intent as being a late flyer) There's a reason Lucifer was made second using the element of water.


	62. Contractual Obligations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci makes sure Meli's soul gets delivered to Raphael, no matter what further price he has to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should really check out NIB or at least the lyrics if you can't get back the opening guitar solo. You'd see why it would appeal to him even ironically.
> 
> Yes, Meli is a bitter, angry bitch, but really, do you blame him? Raphael screwed the pooch big time when he decided to hell with helping the people who killed her or anyone else in that part of the world more than his heaven assigned obligation. Plus I feel fairly sure that no matter what, the desire to destroy the devil is a fairly reasonable one to have. 
> 
> In case you haven't sussed it out, Meli is intersex, neither male nor female and can't really identify with either. meeting a being that was also without gender was probably a gratifying experience at the time.

            "What on earth is he doing?" Crowley frowns observing Lucifer's current antics in the white room.

            "It looks like the opening guitar solo to NIB by Black Sabbath." the demon he brought as a witness opines. Crowley just raises an eyebrow not sure to be either repulsed or impressed by the observation. The demon gives a weak smile. "I was in a cover band"

           "I see. Broke to the demon life rather quickly did we?"

           "When in Rome." the young demon shrugs and looks down at the jar in his hands.

           "Come with me. And do not go near her. She's dangerous." Crowley steps through into the room. "Hello, darling. Always good to see you enjoying yourself." Lucifer just smiles and hands the air guitar to someone before signing a question. "Yes, I do know sign language. Even the deaf and mute have souls to sell, after all."

            'Can I take it that your presence either means you've completed the conditions of our contract or that you've failed so utterly that there's no possible salvage?' he didn't know you could sign sardonically.

            "The former, m'love. It took me a while, called in a few favors, made a few deals, and found that very specific very special soul. I hadn't thought of looking in pagan afterlifes but sure enough, somehow it found it's way to Mictlan.  Which, by the way, your sister was actually temporarily there."

            'I'm supposed to take your word for it?'

            "Not at alll. Trevor, release Meli." the jar is opened and the soul extracted. A little aid from Crowley and the vessel's ghost is standing before them, angry and frightened enough to be easily visible "I don't think she knows sign language yet. Here we go." A snap fixes that.

            'Are you the a'shiwii shaman Meli, former vessel to the archangel Raphael?' Lucifer asks the sullen thing.

            "Who are you and what do you want? Why have you taken me from my husbands realm? I demand you return me at once." the room gets remarkably cold.

            "Charming isn't she? I'd answer the question, love, it'll make things go much more quickly." He advises the spirit.  The stubborn spirit just crosses it's arms. "Very well. You may enjoy each other's company. I'll be back to check in at the next meal." It should be intersting to watch the conversation. Maybe he'll learn why Lucifer wanted this particular soul in the first place, given how hostile it is.

            It's impossible that Lucifer's even remotely kept his sanity for over six weeks of this. By rights, he should be a complete and utter wreck, Then again it is Lucifer. It doesn't do to underestimate him. Relying solely on tempation to exploit this body's predisposed weakness doesn't seem to be working either. Maybe this soul will be the key. After all, they never stated what had to be done with it after it was given to him. Humanity's made him sloppy at the very least and yet at the same time, infinitely more frightening. If he has any hope of keeping the throne, he has to completely and utterly break and dominate him. If he can only figure out how.

 

             Luci looks over the apparition in front of him, slender, straight, dark hair, handsome face with strong cheek bones. Raphael does seem to have a type, doesn't he? Though it's hard to tell if Meli's a boy or a girl exactly it doesn't really matter but people can be funny about being addressed by the wrong pronouns,

             'If you're not Raphael's Meli, you should say so.'

             "And what them? He'll take me back to my husband Xolotl?" he snaps a bit sarcastically. "Who are you and why did those things bring me to you?"

             'Because I made a deal,' Luci signs and sits down. 'And part of that deal was that they find and bring you to me within five years of the initial date of the contract. either they wouldn't and the contract would be null and void, or they would and I could give you to my little brother who's been searching for you since you were taken from him,

               'I hope you aren't the right Meli, because if he's been pining for some little unfaithful brat who couldn't be bothered to let him know they weren't trapped or utterly destroyed, or even had fallen in love with someone else, then I am going to be all sorts of pissed off. Trust me, you don't want that.'

               "You're not Michael." Meli says flatly. And of course anyone Raphael was interested in would probably have heard enough about Michael to recognize him on sight no matter what vessel or condition he's in. "Who are you?"

               'My name is Helel ben Sahar, otherwise known as Lucifer, I generally go by Luci now.'

               "Lucky?"

               'Ha! Not lately I'm not. Softer 'c'  longer 'u'.' He grins. Meli just looks blankly at him for a moment.

               "You're Satan." And his tone indicates that he knows all about him as well.

               'I was, yes. I've reformed, mostly. I'm still working on it.' Meli's disgusted, incredulous expression at this is almost hilarious. 'We've all had our rebellious phases.'

               "I don't think waging a civil war against your own father and brothers can be dismissed as teenage rebellion." He says cooly. "What do you want from me then? Since I'm here at your bidding." He really didn't expect Raphael's ex to be such a complete and utter bitch. Azrael was at least moderately polite, though a complete mismatch. And Alex is just adorable, with an interesting dark side to her. 

              'Well, I was going to return you to your long lost love as a gesture of apology to my ill used little brother, but he's moved on since I made the deal. I also didn't know you'd just ditched him and heaven for some Aztec god of the underworld.' Luci can't help but be annoyed. Of all the ridiculous things that could have happened, he didn't even suspect that this person would have had the kind of arrogant gall to do something like that to his baby brother. 'Do you have any idea how badly your death and absence has hurt him? And you couldn't give him even a dear john letter? I'm tempted to just give you over to Crowley, you heartless tramp.'

              "Excuse me, but Raphael promised me he would protect and save those people from Pestilence and he just abandoned them instead. If when I was able to get in contact with him again I no longer wanted to, it's hardly unreasonable of me. I never wanted to go to your heaven in the first place. I had my own place in the clouds with my ancestors. I was dragged down to Ukhu Pacha in his absence. If Xolotl hadn't rescued me when it collapsed, I don't know what would have happened to me. As far as I'm concerned you and your entire pantheon can be cast into oblivion with the rest of the false gods." The a'shiwii storms over to the walls, trying to push through or pass through. When that fails he just sits on the floor staring into the corner, refusing to look back.

               Luci sighs and lays down. Well, fuck. It's definitely the right soul.  Now the issue remains of what to do with him. Does he really want to send this disaster to his already crushed little brother? It can't do any good for whatever thing he has going on with Alex, if they even did anything yet. And worst of all, he didn't even get to finish one set with his father this time.

               "Why is everything white?" Meli finally asks, finally turning back around. It seems just a few hours of this blankness is enough to get to him.

               'It's a sophisticated form of torture utilizing sensory deprivation and isolation to drive a human being insane.' He replies, looking up at the white ceiling.  'Everything is white, event eh food. They put things to soak up sound so it's extra quiet. I can barely hear you when you're not yelling. The lights are on constantly making it very impossible to sleep. You're the most colorful thing they've left me in weeks, maybe months, I have no idea. There's no way of telling time at all.'

               "That needle thing isn't white. It's bright red." he walks over to it.

               'Heroin. He wants me to use it, so I become addicted and pliable, controllable, useable maybe.' Luci shrugs. It doesn't really matter.

               "Ambitious. Did he take your voice away as well? I don't recall your brother saying you were mute." He toys with it.

               'Yes, I'm fairly sure he removed my vocal chords. Sign language isn't as persuasive, seeing as so few people are fluent. Besides sound has special qualities to it. Tenor and pitch all send meaning and elicit moods.'

               "That's true. You're a prisoner then?" Meli glances up at him.

               'No this is just the bridal suite, mon poulet should be back for the honeymoon shortly.' Fortunately he successfully conveys his sarcasm, as apparent by the dark look the shaman gives.

               "So am I then." Meli squirts the liquid out over floor. "I've been told you've been made completely human. Does that mean you have a soul? And will return to heaven when you die?"

               'I doubt it.'

               "You know, you killed my mother in law," Meli states flatly and hands him the empty needle.

               'You're welcome.' He replies carelessly just before Meli dives in, taking over his body. It shouldn't be difficult to kick him out but after being here so long, he's barely holding himself together as it is. Besides Meli is angrier than any ghost he's seen in a while.

               "I loved my mother in law." She takes control, and pulls back the plunger on the needle filling it with air. He knows what she intends to do, send a massive air bubble into his veins and kill him. A sophisticated technique for someone several hundred years old. For a brief moment, he wonders if maybe that wouldn't be for the best, but he refuses to be killed by some little pagan's whore. He manages to regain control enough to keep Meli from depressing it, but not enough to cast it away. Crowley reappears smacking his hand with a cast iron poker, both casting out the ghost and making Luci drop the needle.

               "Sorry, love, some spirits just will not behave." the following incantation sends the spirit back into the jar. "Satisfied?" Lucifer just nods as his broken wrist hurts too much to sign anything at the moment.

               'Now, I couldn't help but see that you wished this soul to be taken to your brother. However you neglected to make that part of the deal. Perhaps you thought you'd be free to give it to him yourself, or that it would be as cooperative as the last ghost you took up with. Either way, I have no obligation to do so and you have no means to do it yourself. I have brought it to you, and now my end of the deal is fulfilled. Your siblings are safe, the threats eliminated and you are now my property. And as such, what's yours is mine." Crowley sends the soul away. "However, I am not unreasonable. There is one more thing I want from you."

               Luci just looks at him, not bothering to either ask the question or conceal his contempt.

               "What, you may ask?" Crowley continues and turns back to the tray table where there's another full bright red syringe. "Your happiness, my sweet, and nothing more. Twenty sessions of it, taken without delay upon delivery."

                Lucifer rolls his eyes, but in truth no matter what, he knows Raphael would not appreciate it if he caused Meli's soul to be cast into hell, even if he's only indirectly responsible for it. So he flashes three fingers in a counter offer.

                "Fifteen." Luci responds with five fingers. "I don't have to do this, you know." he looks annoyed.  Luci just shrugs. "Ten, as my final offer." It's clear he won't go lower, and Luci's pretty sure he can stop after twelve injections. He does have incredibly strong will power. It won't be fun, but he can do it.

                'And I also want my saint medallion necklace, my instruments, and something to draw with.' He forces his injured hand to help sign. "But deliver her to Raphael in perfect condition and he's not to be taken away again, by your, your agents or on your behalf, ever. Neither can you or yours take my possessions from me or destroy them. I want all these conditions filled immediately upon the first injection."

                "For all that I'll need at least twelve."

                'Heal my hand as well and you have a deal.'

                "It's a deal then." Crowley steps forwards as Luci starts to sit up. "Ah, ah, darling, I'm on top this time. No negociation." Raphael had better appreciate this. At least he will unless he wants to get stabbed again.

 

               "I'm actually like raspberry the best, but they have peppermint hot chocolate, too." Alex looks at the gourmet hot chocolates. It is more expensive but Bree left a prepaid card to get things for Raphael with. As the note in Michael's journal just made him so angry he tore the pages into shreds, getting out of the house to go shopping seemed like a good idea. April has been ridiculously cold this year, with that late snowstorm at the end that just covered everything.  Castiel was able to find a ridiculously sexy black designer trenchcoat for him to wear, and a slightly less sexy wool cap and gloves. Gray isn't really his color it seems.

              "As you like." He just looks at the selection a bit distractedly, so she just takes several from all of them. It's not as if Bree won't help herself when she comes to visit.

              "Do you prefer organic foods? Vegetarian? Kosher?"

              "It doesn't really matter." he just walks along side her, holding the basket. She decided to splurge on some lamb chops since it's his first non hospital meal and they at least managed to get him to the point where he can eat more than BRAT without getting sick, even if they couldn't get him to eat nearly enough. Plus it goes excellently with Mint Jelly. She let him choose the vegetables as he still seems to have an eye for the good ones. Oh, and there's a crème de menthe brownie mix. Raphael actually cracks a smile as she places it in the basket. "You know you don't have to buy everything mint. I am willing to try other flavors."

              "I know, but I want it to be something I'm pretty sure you'll like."

              "So long as you like it as well."

              "Are you kidding? I love these things. It's better from scratch but I suck at baking." She shakes her head regretfully. Especially with any sort of leavening. No matter what she does it always ends up either flat or bitter and flat.

              "If you can find a recipe I could make it."  He offers, which sounds like a wonderful Idea. She's not a little curious as to what kind of a cook he is. 

              "Let me see." Alex takes out her phone. Not that she cares exactly about fresh versus baked but anything to get him doing things is good by her. It's easy to google a recipe. "We're probably going to need a cart."

              "I'll get one," Castiel says from behind them. He's been so quiet she forgot he was there. Probably worrying about Claire. Hopefully Michael's able to do something.

              "There's this bread, I always wanted to try, it's an ashiwii multigrain cornbread. I'm not sure how it would turn out without a stone oven or even if I'd like it, but if you don't mind my trying..."

              "Anything and everything your heart desires. Bree's footing the bill so money's no object." Alex holds up the card. Rhys had definitely gotten his spendthrift generosity from his father.

              "What is this infatuation with being human you archangels seem to have lately?" An odd british voice is behind them. Raphael quickly turns around placing himself between Alex and a stout but kind of cute bearded man in a red and black suit. "Hello, Raphael, long time no see."

              "Crowley," Raphael replies cooly. Oh, so that's crowley? Alex discreetly puts her hand on her knife before remembering she left it under her pillow back at the apartment. You can't exactly bring weapons into the hospital, even if you weren't visiting the psych ward. "What do you want?"

              "Simple delivery. A contractual obligation. the soul of one zuni shaman, delivered to you Raphael." Alex can see a small gift wrapped package handed over, and reaches up to take the hand basket from Raphael so he can hold the gift better. "Courtesy of your brother Lucifer." Raphael's response is both enochian and probably involves some sort of obscinity. Crowley seems amused by it. "With pleasure."

              "Crowley." Castiel is back, blade in hand. "What are you doing here? Where's Lucifer? I know you're working together."

              "I couldn't say. I'm afraid this little delivery constitutes the last of our partnership. My little snowflake has no interest in anything further I'm afraid, but as I have what I want I'll survive the disappointment. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a throne with my name on it." He vanishes. Raphael just looks at the box a sort of stunned look on his face. Did Lucifer really find Meli for him? That's... good. A good thing. And one hell of a gesture at that.

              "Raphael, Alex, are you alright?" Castiel looks to them both before focusing his attention on the box after they nod.  "What is that? If Crowley gave it to you, I wouldn't open it. Let me take it to be examined." Raphael just holds it closer before responding.

              "He said it was.. a soul," Alex assumes from the omission that Castiel isn't privy to the Meli situation. "I'm not sure why it's gift wrapped though."

              "Well, he can't just hand you a human soul in the middle of the supermarket even if he does seem to think it's just fine to pop in and out. Castiel?" Alex puts a hand on Raphael's back whether for his comfort or hers she's not sure. "Why don't you take Raphael back to the apartment. I'll finish shopping and meet you there?" If he gets to see her, talk to her, there's no guarantee he'll want Alex there or even that she should be.  Why would anyone want a recent fling there when reuniting with the long lost love of their life anyway.

              "What's happened?" Michael appears beside his brother. "Castiel, why is your sword drawn?"

              "Crowley was here." He puts the blade away. "He gave Raphael a soul as a gift from Lucifer. He claims not to know where your brother is."

              "It's Meli." Raphael says quietly just staring at the box.

              "Finding Meli's soul was apparently part of whatever deal Lucifer made." Alex explains, not wanting to take her hand away from Raphael, but talking about Meli makes her feel that maybe she should Michael gets an oddly soft look and almost smiles at the news.

              "Have you seen to Claire?" Castiel asks, the question replacing Michael's softness with irritation.

              "Yes. I've done what I can. The rest is up to her. But I'm fairly sure she'll be alright. I'd give hel a few minutes alone with her before returning though."

              "Can you stay and finish shopping with Alex while I tend to Meli?" Raphael addresses Castiel, who nods. It's actually kind of cute the anxious semi-pleading look Raphael gives to Michael who puts an arm around his shoulders and takes him away. The way the archangels are around each other, and now her, is just so incredibly human. Whatever happens, Alex feels just so incredibly privileged to be a part of it, no matter what way.

              "Would you like to come with me when I go to see Claire?" he asks as she looks down at the basket in her hands.

              "No, Thank you. You should ask Jody, I know she's worried." Alex sighs and heads up the end of the aisle to snag the cart Castiel left behind. How will it go? Will he be able to speak to Meli at all? What will they say? Does Meli still have feelings for him? Given Meli's dead and can't be ressurrected, Alex isn't sure which would be better for them. having the corpse burned in holy fire seems to be one way to prevent resurrection. Maybe they could just cohabit the body he's in now. It seemed to work well enough for them to fall in love before. Of course, he also had his grace and could give them both some time apart in it.

              "So, Dean tells me you and Raphael have become... romantically involved." Oh dear lord, no.

              "Something like that. Let me guess, you object to it."

              "No, I can only imagine continued association with you would do him good. He's softened considerably from your first aquaintence alone. I'm just a little concerned things might be going a bit fast. You did just end a long term relationship and Raphael is so newly human. Not to mention the fact that you're very young. Your brain won't even reach full maturity until you're twenty five. I have the same reservations about Claire and Hel."

              "Not everyone takes almost a decade to come to terms with their physical attraction, you know. And I'm not rushing into anything." If anything she keeps tossing anchors left and right, not that they seem to do much good when she's around him again. It's just as well, sometimes the only way out is through. "Given I'm currently in my third romantic relationship and you're in your first and probably only, I don't really think you're qualified to start dispense advice on the subject. But I'd be more than happy to hear your insights the next time I'm playing Risk."

              "I just question if this relationship is worth having at the expense of the one you have with Claire." Alex kind of assumed it was something like that behind the broaching of this terribly awkward subject. He is such a doting parental substitute, after all. And she knows enough about him to know that he probably is concerned about either her or Raphael in this as well, maybe both.

              "Whatever the nature of my relationship with Raphael, I will never just condemn him for what he's done. I know it hurts Claire, but he's not that same person. he's paid for his crimes, he'll still continue suffering the consequences. Or do you think that one harm to someone you're close to is more unforgivable than every other thing any of us have done. Especially as you're just as responsible for what happened to Claire's father as Raphael is."

              This seems to be enough to shut him up, though she knows it's a low blow and a little unfair. Castiel was on the right side in the altercation, that makes a difference. Still though, Claire probably won't forgive her for it regardless. And even if she did, Claire has so many people in her life already and Raphael doesn't. While what he's done probably should, it doesn't change anything she feels for him, no matter how foolish, futile, ill advised or doomed to a bad end it may be.

               Maybe there'll be a recipe for that zuni corn bread. At the very least it'll give her an idea of what kind of ingredients he'll need. Maybe she should just buy every kind of flower grain and spice or baking ingredient they have here. It'll give them both something to do. It's still cool enough not to make the heat from the stove unbearable. oh, a pizza stone. That might help with the stone oven versus regular oven debate he was talking about for the bread. Or at least for making good pizza.

              It occurs to her that it's assuming a lot, thinking that he'd be staying or coming over frequently. It really surprises her that she half wants him to stay. Where else would he go? Probably anywhere in truth. It's not as if Bree doesn't have access to pretty much anything they could want or need. Maybe she shouldn't buy quite so much. But it's not as if she can't send it off with him, if he goes. When he goes.


	63. Coming to terms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Raphael have a talk,  
> while Michael and Gabriel end up having one of their own.h

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking a lot about the limitations of angelic powers. Like they can cure illness but a lot of mental illnesses are more subtle than just fix one chemical imbalance and all better, and require not just repair but the formation of new habits and responses. For instance Castiel took Sam's hallucinations from him but couldn't do anything about his ptsd, nor Deans, or other issues related to ingrained patterns of thought, mood, and behavior. 
> 
> And then there's the mundane things, like you can have the ability to snap your fingers and have everything go where it belongs, but what if it's someone else's house and you don't know where it belongs and everything ends up in the wrong place? Would it be more or less annoying to put everything back yourself or to not know where anything is and either look for things for weeks or have to rearrange everything just to get everything back where it's supposed to be. Even if you're not over particular, I can imagine it would be irritating.

           The apartment is a bit of a wreck. Like it was trashed by an angry poultergeist. Which is probably exactly what happened come to think of it. They wouldn't want to hurt Meli either, which would complicate things. Of course, Michael wouldn't have thought to put things back in order before they left. Raphael generally would have, but he can't at the moment. Honestly it shows how low he is right now that he wouldn't have said something to his sibling about it, too.

            "Apparently it was not a happy reunion." Alex places the bag on the counter, wondering if maybe she sounded a little too inappropriately glad about that. Obviously she wants Meli to forgive him or not blame him or understand things for Raphael's sake, but an incredibly selfish piece of her doesn't want to loose his affection quite so quickly. Not that she thinks he's really that kind of person to go from girl to girl, but he and Meli had history, and they didn't part willingly and all the effort he put into looking for her, it's not something to be brushed aside. Not for feelings that may just be a product of the situation they find themselves in more than anything else. Maybe.

            Castiel places the rest of the bags on the table and waves everything back at least into whole unbroken pieces.

            "I'm not sure where everything goes." he apologizes.

            "That's fine, thank you." She nods and starts putting things in the fridge.

            "Our apologies, we thought we'd be back before you were." Michael replaces everything with a snap.

            "Is everything alright?"

            "Meli's been returned to Mictlan. Apparently her husband has been very worried and assumed it was some sort of retaliation from Gabriel." Michael informs her as Raphael just quietly starts putting groceries away.  "Claire's awake, if you two want to go visit her."

             "No, but here, give her these, would you?" Alex takes out the strawberry pocky and ibc cream soda case handing them to Castiel. "Give her my best."

             "It would mean more coming from you directly."

             "I know." Alex just goes back to the bags. Castiel takes the hint and leaves. "We stopped at Trader joe's, too" she pulls out a box of honey sticks and hands them to Michael who grins briefly before nodding to Raphael with a concerned expression.   He probably does need to talk but he needs time to be ready to as well. The only reason he even opened up as much as he did in the hotel was because he was trying to get her to leave, the sweet idiot. It'll probably be a bit before even trying to discuss anything would do more than just shut him down again.  She may not have learned how to make him talk, but she has learned what will stop him. "Thank you again for helping, Claire. If you can still eat, we're having lamb chops. I wasn't sure what you needed for the bread," She puts a hand on Raphael's shoulder, "So I just pretty much got everything they had for making bread or baking things. I don't exactly cook either so when you go you can take it with you." He sort of stiffens at this and nods. Crap, she didn't mean to say it like that. "Not that I want you to go. Just if you don't want to stay... I wish you would stay, I'd feel better having you nearby but I know... um."

               She just wants to smack herself in the face. So much for throwing down anchors, she pretty much invites him to move in. And then there's the issue of where he'd sleep. She' s not even remotely sure if she's ready to share a bed with anyone in any way much less even have that discussion.  but even with that she also desperately wants him near her

                "I'd love to stay nearby." Raphael finally says just as she starts to think she took it too far in the other direction. "If you wouldn't be in further danger."

                "Oh," Alex laughs dispite herself. "There's no helping that. I'm surrounded by pagans, angels and hunters. I lost any illusion of safety I had when I was kidnapped by vampires as a child. If you' feel safer elsewhere that's something else, but trust me, you can't make my life anymore hazardous than it already is." The only adequate response to the skeptical look he's giving her is to give him a kiss on the cheek, so she does. This at least gets a tiny half smile from him, which is enormous at the moment and makes her feel ridiculously happy.

               The lamb is fairly easy to cook, just salted and laid on top of roasted root veggies. Paired with salad. Michael tried a bite of the lamb to his bitter disappointment and just manually cleaned the pots and pans while they ate. The look of pure bliss on Raphael's face at the first bit of roast lamb and mint jelly was the most satisfying thing she's experienced so far that day. He may have been human for a while but there are so many things he hasn't gotten to experience. All he's gotten is pain and torture, starvation, betrayal, and there's just so much more.

                Like bowling and art museums and various cultural cuisines. Music and poetry readings, maybe he'd like to go out to a club sometime. Probably not, actually, but you never know. there are cooking classes, art classes, all sorts of things. Rollerblading. Laser tag? No, that's more of a Bree and Claire thing, though Michael would probably be great at that. Maybe Bree Claire and Krissy against her Raphael and Michael? Or Paintball. Board games would be good. Nature walks and national parks once it gets warmer. She'll have to ask what he wants to do. he must have some things he's curious about, though given how depressed he is, it'll probably be a while before he can really think about it.

                "I take it things with Meli didn't go well," Alex says as Michael stops time the moment, Raphael excuses himself to the bathroom.

                "She was.. unforgiving. And fairly unreasonable. not that Raphael even tried to defend himself. When I did, she just blew up and trashed the apartment before I got her back into the jar. I gave her to Gabriel as apparently her husband is a former best friend from her huehuecoyotl days. If you two need some time alone, I do need to have a talk with Azrael about her reapers and their trafficking with hell. I can ward the apartment for you and of course, if you need me just pray."

                "That would probably be a good idea." Alex nods.

                "Just let me know when you're done talking and it's good to come back."

                "I will," Alex picks up the plates. Michael puts an arm around her shoulder for an quick hug and brotherly kiss to the head before vanishing. If being human made him a bit of a romantic, death seems to have made him more determined to show affection and appreciation to his loved ones. Not a bad thing, but not exactly a treatment she could recommend to others. And really it just tickles her pink to be included in that group.  Time resumes, though the only way she can really tell is the sound of the water running in the bathroom. that an the timer for the brownies goes off. Unfortunately the potholder got wet and she burns her hand , making her curse and drop the tray.

                "Are you alright?" Raphael is back out in an instant as she blows on her hand.

               "Wet potholder," She explains a bit embarrassed and looks down at the tray. A third of the brownies are on the floor and the rest half piled onto one side. Of course. Raphael just steps over the mess and takes her hand. "It's fine."

                "Barely a first degree burn."he nods. "here." Raphael turns on the tap water testing and adjusting the temperature with his own hand.  "Luke warm water is best. Cold water or ice just further damages the skin. just let it run over your hand while I take care of this."

                "I'm sorry, they smelled so good, too." She sighs.

                "It's not hard to make more. Where's Michael?" he takes the hand towel from the cabinet door and puts the tray on the stove top.

                "He went to go talk to Azrael about the reapers. He also kind of wanted to give us some time alone. The apartments warded."

                "That wasn't necessary." he sounds about as embarrassed as she is by that. "Alex, I know what Itzlacoliuqui did to you and I understand how you might be feeling about being intimate with someone again. I just... I don't expect anything. I just want to be near you, that's all." Alex can feel her cheeks turn as red as the burn on her hand.

                "How did.." she almost asks if Michael told him, but she knows better. And Claire's the only other one she told so how...

                "You called out to me in your dreams." he explains. Oh god no. She doesn't even remember what she could have said. "Not being able to do anything was almost as bad as knowing it happened to you because of me."

                 "Actually, I'm fairly sure it happened because I spit in his face when he tried to solicit my worship. At least partly. But mostly because he was a power hungry entitled bastard and that seems to be a favored weapon of people like that. It's okay. I'm okay." She lies, but of course he doesn't look fooled for a second.

               "No, it isn't, and you aren't. I'm not okay, either. I know that. I want to do something for you, to help you the way you've always helped me and Michael, but I don't know what i could do except leave. That's the only answer that seems to come to mind for anything. And I know that's not right. It's not even what I want, but I don't want anyone else to suffer because of me." The way he can't even meet her eyes, says clearly the kind of leaving he means. She puts a hand to his cheek  making him lift his head.

             "That's just... You're depressed, Raphael. You probably have been for a long time and everything that's just happened just made it worse. What you're feeling isn't the truth, you've just had so much hurt and loss and saddness in yout life that your mind is stuck that way. It's like when rivers form, right? At first they could go pretty much anywhere, right? And the smaller streams are easily diverted but the longer the flow and more that flows into it, the deeper it carves itself into the landscape. I don't know anything about angel physiology, but the good thing about being human is that you can take things that fill in those river and make it easier to redirect them."

             "I don't want to start using drugs. The coca extract was bad enough, I don't know if I could resist anything more." he puts his hand to hers, looking at her with his beautiful rich, sad brown eyes.

             "It's not like that. It's just medicine that's all. Whatever the initial cause, the effect is that there's a chemical imbalance that you need help getting corrected before you can divert the flow from these thoughts and feelings you're stuck in. Right now, it seems like you can't do anything, with just enough medicine you can start thinking and feeling like you can and then you can start doing and learning other things and eventually you'll get better."       

             "You think I should."

            "Yes. Any human being who's been through what you've been through should. And since you are human right now it'll work. You'll have to see a psychiatrist, but that's just once a month and you don't have to tell him details about what happened just the symptoms you're having. Like wanting to send yourself back to the abyss. Though you'd just call that having suicidal thoughts. We can go over it before the appointment. I could even go in with you if you wanted, but it'll be easy to have Bree set up some insurance or pay out of pocket."

             Raphael just moves her hand away from his face, cupping it in his, and looks at the hand under the faucet as water runs over it, thinking. It's probably a hard thing for him to consider. Even for people used to being human it's hard. He just flat out returned to take anything in the hospital once they put him in the psych ward. Luckily they actually respected his right to not take it, or it might be even harder to get him to do this than it already is.

           "I trust you, Alex. If you think I should do this, then I will. I'd like you to as well, though. You've been through things as well." And of course, she can't very well refuse after telling him to, especially as he'd likely decide that means he doesn't have to as well. What the hell, right? At worse she gets perscribed something that helps stop the nightmares.

           "Alright. I'll set up the appointments in the morning." Alex takes her hand from the faucet and gingerly touches the formerly red, now only slighly pink spot. It's just slightly hot and sore to the touch.

         "I'll have Michael heal it the rest of the way when he returns."

         "I really don't think we need an archangel for this." Alex rolls her eyes and looks at the pan of scrunched brownies. "They smelled so good, too." She sighs but really it's not like what's in the pan isn't edible. Alex takes a small peice. "Mmm. they really are better homemade. Oh, hold on." She grabs the mint creme frosting and just slathers it as evenly as she can until the top is smooth and has the illusion of uniformity, before tossing it in the freezer.

        "You do realize there will be peices with almost nothing but mint creme frosting." Raphael informs he

        "You say that like it's a bad thing." She hands him the spoon and takes a spatula from the new kitchen utensils to scrape the bowl. "We can give those peices to Michael. It may be sweet enough for him to taste. Should I call him back? He's waiting until we give the word." She takes a bit bite of freshly made mint butter cream frosting made with real butter. Mmmm. Maybe she won't give him all of those pieces. Just most of them. Raphael just smiles at her and eats the frosting off his spoon as well.

       "Can I give you a kiss first?" It's kind of adorable that he asks and very much appreciated.

       "Yes." It's hard to stop smilling long enough to let him kiss her with that soft little boy kiss, where he just leans in. she likes so much.

      "Thank you for loving me." Now that's just not fair, saying things like that and only giving one kiss.

       "Kiss me again." She requests when he starts to move back away, and pulls his hands to her waist. His lips taste like mint.

 

 

       "Just to clarify, by 'pan'sexual you mean pan as in all or pan as in goat footed nature gods.?" Michael hears Gabriel tease as he appears back in the lounge area of the bunker library.

       "nn-nn." Krissy shakes her head.  "Pan as in Peter. Apparently I'm only attracted to men who refuse to grow up." Krissy lifts the wine cooler as Gabriel starts laughing.

       "At least you know you'll never lack for partners."

       "Tell me about it."

       "Back so soon, nee-san?" Gabriel smiles at her elder sibling and waves him over. "Pull up a chair. We're drinking cheap wine and insulting former lovers." She offers him a bottle.

       "I had a talk with Azrael about the reapers. She's gotten a lot more difficult and incredibly disrespectful. Beyond which she's insisting on being addressed as Billy now. When did that start?"

       "When the smurfs came out actually. The percentage of people who actually associated her with Gargamel's cat can't be nearly as much as she's claiming but it was annoying enough to just change to something else. I wonder how many turtle jokes it'll take to make Raphael change his name. Maybe I can get him to change it to Labbiel." The silly girl suggests, obviously not serious.

       "You mean back to Labbiel, right?" Krissy asks. "Hara said that was his name originally." Gabriel starts laughing at this.

       "No, it wasn't. That was a joke of Gabriel and Lucifer's." he corrects her. "Please inform Harahel of that. I thought we'd corrected that misconception with all the fledgelings."

       "And how did it go?" Gabriel prods, knowing damn well how it went. Azrael's always been difficult and it never ends well.

       "We were able to reach an understanding."

       "That understanding being to keep your nose out of her domain and stick to your own?" Gabriel ventures. Michael just tries a sip of the wine. tasteless, but wet, so it's pleasant at least in that regard. "She's been extra bitchy since Dean killed her sweetheart. Death." Gabriel clarifies for Krissy who's eyes widen.

       "Wait, he really did that?"

       "Yup, cut him down with his own scythe. Of course uncle told him to kill sam with it, so I really don't know what he expected. It was his own damn fault and he knows it."

        "Damn.  No wonder Harahel's scared of him.  You'd think they other angels would treat him with a bit more respect. Speaking of respect, thank you for helping Claire, Michael." Krissy toasts him. "I will forever be singing your praises."

        "I helped her soley for the sake of her friends and loved ones."

        "Well, as one of those, I'm still grateful. I don't suppose you would extoll Harahel on the virtues of forgiveness. She's still in kind of a snit over our little fight. I hate to part on bad terms."

       "Please, Hara's utterly terrified of him, now." Gabriel snorts before Michael can respond. "That's like sending a swat team to pick up a package from the post office. You just need to give her some time to calm down, and for you to stop laughing about what you're trying to apologize for. Trust me on that one. You need to own what you did without levity."

        "Don't you talk to me about what I did, you asshole. We both know it was your little birds and the bees talk that did the real damage." Krissy tosses the bottle cap at Gabriel who catches it and wings it right back. Michael considers asking, but decides he'd really rather not know.

        "I'm surprised you two aren't with Claire at the moment." He changes the subject and takes another drink.

        "Oh, Hela prayed to Castiel and me not to come yet as she and Claire needed some private time. I assume something similar is why you're here with us instead of back doting and fawning over Raphael."

        "I doubt that." Krissy wrinkles her nose, "Given what she did to Itzy's corpse, I don't think she'll be having private time with anyone soon."

        "What do you mean?" Gabriel asks before her eyes widen. "No, that bastard. I should have killed him slower." But she gets a thoughtful look on her face that's actually fairly serious. Michael isn't at all familiar with it and can't tell whether or not he should be worried, though experience has taught him that he probably should be. It's never a good thing when Gabriel has enough time on her hands to start thinking hard about anything.

        "I did want to discuss the problem of Lucifer with you." He mentions to his little sister. "He's consorting with demons again." But this just makes Gabriel smile. "I fail to see how it's a good thing."

        "He traded his throne to Crowley for assistance. Over all I feel inclined to grant clemency and reinstate his parole when he returns."

        "How would he just give the throne of hell away?" Krissy takes her feet off the coffee table, leaning forwards. That's right, this is the one Harahel taught enochian. She's incredibly fluent. "If he's not on it, it's about who can hold it, right? I doubt a contract will do it, though honestly even getting it would be impressive. But it doesn't mean any other demon has to honor it, does it? I have no idea how that would even work."

        "I have no idea what he's doing right now. I haven't heard anything for months. None of heaven has. Not a phone call, not a prayer, not a text, nothing." Gabriel frowns, a worried look over taking her face.

         "What do you mean none of heaven? They were hearing from him before?" Michael finds that statement the oddest and most troubling statement yet.

         "Everyone heard him sing his morning prayers to us. But don't worry, we know he was just teasing you." Gabriel grins at him.

         "What do you mean? What was he singing? I heard him in the abyss but it wasn't clear at all, I could only get a sense of it." But when he was right in front of him, everything was just so very clear.

         "Here, I made a playlist." Gabriel hands him an ipod and headphones. he corrects the luci\mikey title to Michael\Helel before listening. He can feel his vessel somehow manage to blush deeper and deeper at the increasingly passionate love songs, most of which were from his own playlist. This is what was being broadcast across all of heaven? The tie for most innappropriate and embarassing prayers is between 'Locked out of Heaven' and 'your body is a wonderland'. That absolute pain in the ass brat. What the hell did he think he was doing?

           "Well that's an interesting reaction." He can hear Krissy comment as he half shrinks down into the chair, wishing with all his might that disappearing would make things any better.

           "Shut up, you brat. Go pray some more apologies to Hara.  Or go tutor Melissa. Her wards are so bad they're practically summons." Which is, in fact, not even possible, but Gabriel's always been big on hyperbole.

           "Yes, ma'am. come and get me before you go and see Claire, okay?" She thankfully leaves, heading out of the bunker, snagging another wine cooler on the way.

             "We really do need to talk about what we're going to do about Luci and Raph." Gabriel snaps them both us some honey sticks. "Whatever he was thinking I don't think Raphael's ever going to forgive him for doing that to him."

             "Actually," Michael looks over to her, realizing that there's little point in trying to hide anything if this has been jamming angel radio almost every day he was in the abyss. "I need to talk to you about something else first. Is there somewhere we can go that's more private?"

             "Sure, follow me." She takes off, actually slow enough for him to follow, and leads him to a glacier up north where the northern lights dance in the sky. "Hold on." A reflective sheet is put on the ground so he can sit without risk of melting the ice. Probably for the best as he's incredibly embarrassed about having to have this conversation with her. Especially given how she reacted to the prank. Though that might have been a bit hormonal. But really, he can't leave it to Lucifer, he'd make it as horribly scarring as possible in revenge for her marrying Sam Winchester. "So, what's up, sis?"

             "There's something I wanted to talk to you about, regarding the night I died." he starts then realizes he doesn't know how to continue, not even slightly. Gabriel just sits next to him, politely listening, which is disconcerting but appreciated "I wasn't prepared for being human, you know. I thought I was but there are so many feelings and chemical interactions and you really just don't know what's going to happen or be triggered. Feelings that you were able to overlook kind of became impossible to ignore no matter how hard you try."

            "Sometimes especially when you try." Gabriel commiserates and smiles at him. "You met somebody. Was it Jeff? Luci had quite a lot to say about Jeff."

            "I'm sure he did. And no. It's kind of... someone I've loved for a long time, though it never translated into quite this way."

            "Of course not, you weren't human before. I hope it's not Raphael. He's just so totally gaga over Alex right now and I don't really think he thinks of you quite that way..."

            "What? No! For the sake of all that is, why would you think that? And why would you find that thought less disturbing than my getting together with Lucifer."

            "Mostly because he's a lot less likely to use and manipulate you, betray you, or attempt to destroy humanity. I'm kind of over the whole wingcest hang up." she shrugs. "After having the possibility so rudely shoved in to my face."

            "I don't know who else you're known for what we'd call a long time besides the three of us, though. Adam?"

            "No. I'm in love with Helel."  he decides to just come out and say it. Gabriel's just silent which is probably the most troubling response she could have right now. "the evening I... we got shot, as apparently placing myself in front of a bullet wasn't enough to stop it from hitting her... him.. We had a fight. It started out about an organ donor card and just kind of and just kind of became about everything we ever did to each other and it kind of became physical."

            "Well, that's nothing new." she rolls her eyes.

            "Not that kind of physical." Michael feels like he wants to just sink into the ice at this second loaded silence. "I'd been having those feelings for a while. It just all came to a head at once. I'd been trying so hard to direct them elsewhere, but it didn't work. I didn't want anyone else."

             "Oh tell me about it. I'd always found Sam ridiculously attractive and appealing but the way it hit me when I was human was just too much to ignore. It was awful. they didn't know who I was, I was too afraid to say anything given how weak I was and how frequently my identity being revealed resulted in someone trying to kill me. I was just freaking out all over the place. But casual sex is a hell of distraction, at least for a little while, right?" She nudges him. He just cringes at the thought of doing something so... personal and intense with someone you barely know.

             "I didn't really... It never got that far with anyone I dated. But it's kind of a moot point now." he sighs.

             "Really, it's not." she puts a hand on his arm. "You can always remove your grace again and if not, it's not overly difficult to get at least one orgasm out of your vessel. It takes a while and multiple points of stimulation but that's not exactly a bad thing since you're in a male body."

             "No! That's not that I..." His embarrassment starts to melt the snow around them despite the barriers. What's even worse is the desire to ask how despite not wanting to know nearly that much about his little sister's love life. "No, I reacted badly, when I woke up afterwards. I kind of told him it was wrong and a mistake and that he wasn't a shadow of the brother I loved."

             "Owww." Gabriel grimaces, putting a hand to her heart.

             "He didn't say anything, he just ran off. I don't even think he was going anywhere, he was just upset. I was too... ashamed to call for Raphael to help find him. I ended up calling Jeff instead and he helped me track the car's gps then her phone's. It didn't really go well when I caught up with him."

             "Well, no, you were shot by a mugger. I think he's over that though, given the love songs."

             "Maybe, but he's never going to trust me like that again. Not really." He covers his face. Even if he does accept his apology and want a romantic relationship, will he ever be so unguarded as he was in those moments?

             "Pretty sure that's not true. So you freaked out a little. It happens. It's a complicated situation. I almost left the damn country after my first kiss with Sam. I can only imagine what you felt. You were set to kill each other maybe a decade ago. He'll understand. Raphael on the other hand..." Gabriel just has to bring that truth to the forefront.

              "So you're alright with this? With my wanting to pursue something with him?"

              "Sure. A hundred thousand Michifer fans cant be wrong." She shrugs with a grin that he knows means he shouldn't ask but he can't stop himself from uttering the question.

               "A hundred thousand what?" His sister just hands him a cell phone. There aren't words to describe what he's seeing. "What.... for the love of all that is, is this... who writes this filth!"

              "Fans of the Winchester Gospels. Of course."

              "Why do you have this bookmarked!"

              "I don't! Dean did something to my phone after I spammed him with wincest pics in retaliation for well, never mind that, actually."

              "How do we get rid of this? Can you destroy the site?"

              "It's no use, Michael, this stuff is all over the internet. And Tumblr. There's no stopping it." She pats his back in sympathy. But she's not having illicit erotic stories written about her and... oh dear god she is. And not just with sam, but with... no... no this is not acceptable.

              "How do we destroy the internet?"

              "I'm pretty sure it would take a technological apocalypse that would be as devastating as the real one, given how many vital hospital machines depend on that kind of thing."

               "I sincerely doubt there are any life support systems that run off of amature pornographic literature." Of course this just makes Gabriel start laughing so hard she falls over.

               "Not I mean electronic information. Medical records and everything is all stored and monitored and often regulated online now. As bad as it is, I'm not exactly willing to murder millions to avoid a little embarrassment. Are you?"

               "That depends, how many of those millions are the authors?" And of course his irritation wipes the phone entirely. "I'm sorry." But Gabriel's still laughing. At least someone finds this amusing.

                "Worth it." Is the entirely unsatisfying response to his apology.

               "I don't know how I'm going to tell Raphael."

               "I could start spamming him with Michifer fics." Gabriel offers. He just glared her into a deep understanding of his feeling on the subject. "Just let him be surprised. That traitor." She still hasn't completely forgiving him for his part in the final volley of the prank war it seems.

               "He's been through enough, don't you think?"

               "Maybe, but it's be hillarious."

               "I don't suppose you can help me figure out what to say. Without the inappropriate tone this time."

               "Sure. Though there's a shortage of references on how to tell your brother than you've started dating your other brother. I know the topic is one of many sadly neglected by hallmark. At least he doesn't have his grace and can't accidentally set off another volcano." She sighs. Which is true. It took forever to clean up the mess left after his falling out with Azrael accidentally triggered yellowstone again.  "Let's go some place else before your bashfulness floods the earth."

                "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's starting to look like It's all going to be finished by the end of the week, fingers crossed. Which is good because I'm actually doing GISHWHES(the greatest international scavenger hunt the world has ever seen) this year and it starts saturday. If I'm not done by then, there might be longer lags between postings as I'm determined to win that trip to iceland despite being broke. But it only lasts a week so bear with me and wish me luck.


	64. Better late than never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's gets an eating lesson from Gabriel and has an unsatisfying conversation with Raphael before leaving to rescue Luci

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know what calvinball is that you've had a tragically deprived childhood and the only solution is to go find and read every Calvin and Hobbes collection you can lay your hands on post haste. But for the uninitiated its a game where there are no rules except what you make up on the fly. The only rule is that there are no rules. It makes for an interesting time.
> 
> The Hashishin (hashish aka marijuana eaters) are the original name for a murder cult that were also major pot heads. It's where we derive the word assassin. Though it's really kind of an insult, like if you started referring to hitmen as bong water boys but instead of killing you for it, they liked it and kept it. People are funny sometimes.
> 
> Gabriel has, obviously, long since figured out how to get the most bang for her buck out of whatever vessel she's in, including but not limited to eating food. One of the first things she taught Castiel after his ascention, was how to eat and he can now enjoy his pbjs again. So having gotten a taste for red meat, Michael is more than willing to learn how to enjoy it again while in possession of his grace. It'll be a cold day in hell before he asks for advice regarding any of her other hedonistic knowledge bases but eating a steak is perfectly fine.
> 
> The best way I can describe it is that it's kind of like those magic pictures where you stare at a seemingly formless mass until it starts to blur together and create an image.

                 It's kind of adorable watching the two of them doing things together, even just cooking dinner. Though it took quite a bit to get Gabriel to tone down the teasing. Granted after all the comments Raphael's made about her and Sam he can understand why she might find it hard to resist embarrassing him. Of course, Alex is an infinitely more suitable human than a winchester. It's all he can do not to rub in how Raphael claimed not to want anything to do with love or dating or physical attraction again when he catches his little brother looking at her with that all encompassing look of adoration that he so frequently does.

                "It'll actually be easier, since you already know what steak tastes like." Gabriel sets the plate in front of him. "The problem is that you're too aware of everything. Human beings have a million things pulling at them all the time that your grace either bypasses completely or allows you to process differently. Not to mention all the biological processes that they have to regulate that are put to a halt when you occupy a vessel. Without all that distraction, you can't help but notice every single particle of flavor that hits your tongue when you take a bite. If you want it to blend and merge, you have to bring your mind to that same level of distraction."

                "That is the exact opposite of how we're supposed to get the most bang for our buck." Alex comments, taking the brussel sprouts from Raphael and placing them on the table. "Usually we're told to eliminate distraction and focus, you know mindful eating."

                "So this is what?  Mindless eating? I guess that's accurate enough." Gabriel shrugs and sits across from him.

                "I don't know how to intentionally distract myself. " Michael frowns. "I generally try to hone my focus, precision and clarity, not obscure them."

                "It's not that hard. It's just doing one thing while focusing on something else. Granted that might require the physical act of eating being familiar to the point of habit as much as anything else, but you might have been human long enough for that. I'm not sure. So, care for a game of chess?" His enigmatic little sister sets up a chess board between them at their end of the table.

                 "It's really not going to be that distracting." Michael protests. Chess is such a simple game and she's too reckless a player in pretty much any game of strategy.

                 "It will be with the house rules." She gives a smile that almost makes him afraid to ask. "You have to be eating the entire game. If you aren't chewing, drinking, biting or swallowing, your king dies of starvation and I win. If you stop paying attention to the game at any moment I get to rearrange any two peices by one legal move in my favor including yours." Now that will add a sufficient degree of difficulty.

                "But how will you know if I'm not paying attention to the game?"

                "Michael, I couldn't have done half the stuff I did back in heaven if I didn't have an acute awareness of where your attention was at all times." That's an undeniable truth and he really shouldn't have had to ask. "As added incentive I fully intend on telling everyone I beat you at chess if I should win, even with these rules.

               "That would be the only way you ever could beat Michael at any game of strategy." Raphael comments loyally, though in truth Michale's confidence is slightly shaken after that far too close game of Risk with Castiel. It was almost a stale mate. While it's true, they did all gang up on him, that really shouldn't have mattered.

               "True, but I'll still be able to say it." The little shit smirks, waggling his eyebrows at him. Alex seems to find that funnier than Raphael does, but she whispers something to him that makes him smile.

               Unfortunately just before unavoidably checking Gabriel's king in two moves, Michael neglects to take another bite before moving his piece and his king dies of starvation. However, before Gabriel can declare victory, a projectile rubber band smacks both her king and queen off the chess board entirely.

                "You're rulers have both been forcibly deposed. Michael, having a queen still on the board, wins by default."

                "That's not a legal move, Raphael," Gabriel protests, though she's clearly too amused by it to press it too far.

                "The Hashishin care not for your laws." His reply just cracks her up completely.

                "It is my house, and one my rules is just because it's illegal, doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's an unfortunate fact of life." Alex adds.

                "I thought you were my friend, you traitor." She gives Alex a light shove.

                 "I'm everybody's freind." But she joins Gabriel in the next game in trying to distract and ambush Michael, Raphael and his pieces in what Gabriel no longer pretends to call chess, instead renaming it Calvinball the board game. About half way through the melee, the molecules of steak in his mouth blend together and he can taste the familiar flavors for a brief moment before his focus on it breaks it apart again.

                 Of course this lets Gabriel move two pieces, one of his and one of hers leaving him in a position he can't recover from, especially as Alex takes Raphael out of play with the low move of sitting in his lap and kissing him. But the only rule is that there are no rules only general guidelines so he overturns the chess board and wipes Gabriel's remaining pieces from existence.

                "Really?" She tsks him, crossing her arms.

                "Earthquake." he replies innocently.

                "And my pieces?"

                "Taken by the rapture." This makes her laugh so hard she doesn't even try to get him back.

                "Raptors?" Alex turns back to look. Of course this makes Raphael grin on the verge of laughter himself. That probably would have been a more interesting, flooding the chessboard with miniature velociraptors.

               "Hold on, Xolly's calling." Gabriel sighs and vanishes.  Michael doesn't know why she forgave that pagan so easily for kidnapping her and placing her and Shelly in such extreme danger, no matter what his intentions.

               "What time is it?" Alex pulls out her phone. "Oh, crap, the interview." She scrambles off Raphael and runs to the closet. The games did run on alot longer than he would have thought.

               "Alex." Michael snaps his fingers, changing her into the suit Raphael helped her pick out the day before. "Where do you need to go?"

               "Community Assistance Program on Third and Maine. It's not really too far away." She starts to protest against his assistance. For some reason she seems to think that even though it's absurdly easy for him to do it, and takes little to no power at all, that he shouldn't be using his angelic powers for such mundane things. Maybe she thinks it's more costly than it is. More likely she's just uncomfortable getting what she considers special treatment. Though she isn't. He'd do this for anyone who's done for him what she has.

                "I'll be right back." he informs his brother and takes Alex to the parking lot on main and second after she gets the rest of her things together. "Good luck. Let me know when you need to come back."

                "I'll make it back on my own, thank you. Besides I have to stop at the pharmacy on the way home. Thank you, though."

                "You're certain you don't want an escort at least?"

                "I'm sure." She pats his arm. "I'll see you later." Michael slips into the veil and shadows her to the building just to be safe. He's going to make sure that nothing happens to her, as much for Raphael's sake as her own. At least as much as he can reasonably justify.

                "You know, you don't have to stay by my side every second." Raphael informs him when he returns. Michael just refrains from comment, though apparently his face gives his thoughts away. "I'm not going to do anything rash." He sounds a bit embarassed.

                "Again." Michael can't help but say.

                "Don't you have better things to do than look after me? Such as finding out what Lucifer's up to?"

                "No. You're more important right now. I'm not going anywhere until I'm certain you're going to be alright. That idiot can wait.  He's probably just lying low until things die down. Besides Gabriel's in charge of that now that she's gotten her grace back. She's still got a lot of pent up energy to unleash from those months of enforced bedrest." he walks over to the island where Raphael is wrapping up the leftovers. "We do need to talk about He...about Lucifer, though."

                "No, we don't." Is the stubborn reply.

                "You have every right to be angry with him." He starts but he's interrupted.

                "I know. And I know what he says he was trying to do. It may even be the truth, but I don't care. I've done my job. I'm done with him. It's not worth it. He's not worth it to me. But that's just me. I don't expect you to feel the same way. Feel what you want, do what you want, love who you want, just don't talk to me about Lucifer. From this point on all I want is to pretend he no longer exists." Raphael's statements make him feel a bit uneasy, like he already knows what he wanted to tell him. Though if that's true he's not entirely surprised. Raphael always did know him better than he often knew himself. But still, he hates to see this happen when by all accounts they were actually starting to really get along together.

                 "Raph, he will make this up to you, I promise you that."

                 "You can't promise anything for him and he can't make this up to me because 'this' is just Lucifer being Lucifer. I don't want anything more to do with him now than I did in the very beginning before he fell." You can't almost believe that he really means that, too.

                 He might, too, even if he doesn't want to acknowledge or remember how he really felt in the beginning. Michael knows better than to point it out. He hasn't seen Raphael this deeply upset with Helel since he was a fledgeling. Angry, sure on general principle or other people's behalfs, but now he's just deeply hurt and heartbroken to the point he's not willing to risk it again. For him to have opened himself to his big brother to such a degree that he even could be this hurt is nothing short of miraculous. If only he'd been able to come back soon enough to save them both before Helel felt he had to do what he did.

                  He never really believed how much Raphael adored him at first. How captivated he was by his big brother. How impressed. How desperately he wanted his approval, for him to like him. Michael tried his best to encourage Helel to bond with their baby brother, but the more he pushed the more Helel dug in his heels until he had to just step back and try to encourage Raphael not to pay attention to his hurtful attitude. It's a lesson he learned incredibly well.

                 "If that's what you want, I won't. And I'll do my best to make sure Gabriel doesn't force the issue either." Michael sighs. While his little brother generally yields to his commands or even requests, on the occasions that he doesn't nothing can move him. He can be every bit as pigheaded as Helel. There's nothing to do but to let him calm down and stop hurting quite so much before even trying to fix anything.

                  "I'd appreciate that, thank you." Raphael finished putting things away and grabs the binder Gabriel brought him from the computer desk before retreating into the bedroom. Well, so much for the talk he worked so hard on. Of course, it's been over two weeks and he wasn't exactly able to find a good time to have it before now.

                  He was going to try and talk to him that night, but when he went back, he found them asleep holding each other on the couch surrounded by tissues and empty boxes. He was going to talk to him after Alex went to bed the next night, but they both just keep falling asleep together on the couch. So instead of talking with him, he just keeps moving Alex back to her bed and putting Raphael in a more comfortable position on the couch. It would be simpler if they just shared the bed, but if she was ready for that, they wouldn't be falling asleep in the couch. He spends half the night chasing their nightmares away, but that's finally starting to ebb a little bit.

                 In truth they're both starting to sleep better, eat better, smile more. Alex is getting back to her old self with her easy touches and talkative nature. Raphael's gained some of his energy back as well, doing more than just sitting in silence and staring out the window. Today's been the best he's seen him in a very long time. Of course, he really does blossom under Alex's attention and affection.  And Gabriel was able to come spend some time with them. While she is generally a bit of pain, no one can quite liven things up like she does, or make them laugh as much. He'll definitely have to look up calvinball, though. It seems like an interesting sport.

                 This silence from Helel is starting to worry him more than anything, though. There hasn't been a single word, a single prayer, anything. Michael's started popping into the abyss every chance he gets, not just to check on Raphael's grace, but to see if Helel has been sent back. Gabriel argued quite reasonably that he almost definitely knows Michael is back, since very little in the supernatural community is not aware of his little outburst in heaven, but is probably not eager to face him any time soon for that same reason. He's probably lying very low until he thinks Michael's cooled off. A fairly reasonable assumption, honestly, but it still makes him uneasy.

                If only Gabriel hadn't cut Helel's ability to hear and communicate with them and their bretheren completely down to human levels, Michael could talk to him.  He's tried searching for his dreams, but he's never been that good at that and can't seem to latch onto anything. There's not even the faintest sense of care or longing from him. If he's not in danger then maybe he's just warded himself. That or he's just not even missing them enough for even the slightest prayer that they'd be able to pick up now that they have their grace back.  He'd check in with Gabriel, though at least, wouldn't he? A text or an email, a phone call, something.

               "Michael." Gabriel appears beside him, her eyes filled with anger. "Luci's in trouble. Apparently he has been for weeks but Raph's ex is a complete and utter bitch and didn't feel the need to let us know. It's lucky that he even let it slip while arguing with Xolly or we'd never have found out."

                "What's wrong? Where is he?" Every inch of his being draws to attention. He should have known.

                "He doesn't actually know. He was trapped in a jar most of the time. And apparently, Lucifer is imprisoned in a small white windowless sound absorbant room, completely devoid of human contact or color except for a single red plastic needle of heroin. They also seem to have done something to take his voice away. Which was actually fairly smart." Gabriel concedes not nearly as enraged by this as she should be. But she just doesn't understand, how could she?

                "How small of a room?" It's clear she doesn't really understand why that's at all important.

                "Maybe the size of a large bedroom?  But it's obviously warded and probably within another structure."

                "Well, it's proportionately larger than the cage at least."  Michael tightens his lips. "Who was that demon he made a deal with? Crowley?"

                "Yes, but he's not exactly answering any of our summons. Nor are any other demons. Any time we get near one, they vacate the body they're possessing. It's like the only chance we have of getting hold of a demon is going down to hell and dragging one out ourselves." She makes the frustrated statement far too seriously for his liking. Of all the archangels, hellfire hurts Gabriel the most. Not that she could get past the locks on the gates that keep the other three archangels out.

               First there was only one keeping Michael out. Then after Babylon when Helel realized that the flames that almost killed their baby sister were actually his own created hellfire, he added one making sure that Gabriel couldn't come near it, willingly or otherwise. That was more of a protective measure than anything as he didn't stop searching for her until the day he was cast into the cage. It wasn't until the battle in Gehenna that he added one to keep Raphael out as well. He just hadn't thought of him as any kind of a threat until then.

               That was the battle where Raphael enacted his counter to hell fire. He absorbed it with the earth around them, turning it back onto the entire demon army that was backing up their rebellious brethren. It devestated them in the form of rolling waves of magma that burned and entombed every single one. It was the most decisive victory of the entire battle, even up to the very last one.

                He'd never been so proud of Raphael. It was the moment the tide finally started to turn in their favor.  It seemed at first that Lucifer and his forces had no chance. After all, they were only a third of the host, and not even all of them the best fighters. But they used guerilla tactics, camoflage, ambush, and diversions.  Though they ran and hid most of the first several thousand years, they were slowly whittling away at heaven's forces. Then when Michael managed to counter these and the actual battles began, they were supported by legions upon legions of demons.

                  A demon can't actually harm an angel, much less kill them, it's true. But they can restrain their vessel, get in the way, interfere with movement, cause distractions that allowed the fallen angels among them to strike home. One fallen angel in a legion of demons could potentially take out half a dozen angels this way once the defensive line was broken. Only Michael or Raphael's presence could change these results with any consistency. Generally the amount of casualties with any encounter depended entirely on how quickly they could take care of one emergency and move on to the next. Raphael's maneuver not only took out all the demons, but crippled the angels among them, leaving so many alive long enough to question before the ritzien were allowed to end their suffering.

                  But it was also the moment that started Raphael's decline. He can see that now that he's not blinded by his own pain. It was never easy for him fighting against his younger siblings, many of whom he'd healed, cared for, protected and trained.  Neither could he smite a demon in a possessed human body without it hurting him a great deal. It was always a last resort. He'd insisted on resurrecting the human if he could. His work with the ancient preists are what led to the creation of the first anti possession charms. There was no bringing back any of the humans taken by demons in that battle though. Not a single angel on that battlefeild ended up surviving either. The fact that all this death and torment was done by his own hands just broke something inside of Raphael and Michael just didn't understand.

                 He sees it now. He sees how badly he handled his brother's pain. Raphael didn't need to be told that he did right. He knew it was, that it was the lesser of two wrongs at least. He didn't need to be told it was a mercy for the possesed. Or that their deaths saved the lives and souls of so many more, thought it's true that it did. He should have just been allowed to grieve and feel the hurt instead of being encouraged to push it down with the weight of forced apathy. He just needed to be heard and forgiven and allowed to return to the role of healer that he never should have been pushed out of in the first place.

                 This time he'll just listen and let him feel what he needs to feel when he needs to feel it.

                "Stay with Raphael." Michael orders Gabriel and leaves before she can protest.

                 If Helel is held prisoner somewhere it's likely by someone with a vested intrest in keeping him locked away from the world, but who wouldn't be served better by sending him back to the abyss. It's definitely someone who knows better than to let anyone close enough to torture him. Leaving him drugs makes little sense unless they're hoping it'll make him compliant and easier to manage once he gives in. Maybe even easier to interrogate. If Crowley made a deal for the throne of hell, it's likely his doing.

                But did Lucifer make a deal with Crowley or did Crowley make a deal with Lucifer? Aside from the manner of sealing said deal, which bothers him a great deal regardless of which, it doesn't really make a difference except in who controls the wording. And that can definitely make a difference. He opens his perceptions and doesn't take long to find a demon. She's speaking to a hesitant young man in a crossroads.

                 "Don't do it." Michael appears beside them. "Whatever she can give you isn't worth your immortal soul." he grabs the demon before she can flee in terror.

                 "It's my soul. I can do what I want with it." The man is clearly inebriated without enough sense to be terrified of what a demon fears at the very least, so Michael just taps his forhead and sobers him up.

                 "What did he want from you?"

                 "Just a girl back." She rolls her eyes.

                 "Forcing a girl to love him and all that entails is violating her entire being, mentally, physically raping her. If he's willing to do that to her, there's no need for you to make the deal. Obviously he's well on his way to you all on his own." Michael sends the young man back to his bed with that clearly displeasing thought and adds a breif dream of hellfire seared into his brain for added measure. Nobody ever thinks these things through. There's this pervasive sense of entitlement that somehow makes them think it's okay to do things like that. As if having them magically enchanted to love them isn't an absolute violation of the very basic precepts of free will.

                 "If that were true, I wouldn't have shown up." the demon attempts bravado, though her terror is still plain to see.

                 "I'm looking for Crowley. Where is he?"

                 "He... he's attending business in Hell. It's still in a bit of chaos after Lucifer undid all the locks and chains."

                 "I see. Thank you." He pierces the demon with his blade, sending the twisted corrupted soul into the abyss to heal. It's short work to revive the possessed body before the soul can be taken away.  "How long has she had you?" he asks gently, in a rather poor attempt to soothe the victim.

                  "I don't know. My brother was just drafted for vietnam.." she starts to tremble violently. "I don't even know if he survived the way. She wouldn't tell me. Oh the things she did."

                  "I'm sending you some where safe." he informs her before sending her back to Alex's apartment with his siblings, with an edict for them to stay there and take care of her. So, Lucifer undid every lock and chain in hell, did he? And only he could set them up again. Michael takes himself to the gates. Sure enough the gates are more open to him than they ever have been before. So, Crowley wants to keep hold the throne of hell.  Lets see how long it takes to get his attention. Michael draws his sword and blasts the gates open with flames so hot and blue they engulf and overtake hell's own. For the first time, he almost enjoys the sound of their screams.

                 


	65. Lovers Spat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael rescues Luci  
> Raphael and Alex have their first fight  
> Michael and Luci have yet another fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys, I was in the hospital and longer than I thought I'd be. I missed out on most of the scavenger hunt too. :( But on the plus side it means I got to finish it having nothing else to do. so just a few more chapters to type up and it's done. yay.

             Everything hurts. Not terrible horrible pain, but it's never ending and he can't seem to get used to it. If he could sleep maybe that would help, but sleep just won't come. It's not that bad, not really. It's like the flu or so he's heard. But humans get it and survive it all the time. And he's not actually sick. he knows he's not actually sick, but his body has just decided that yes, he is and is determined to act like it. Being human is a torment in and of itself. He didn't even need to create hell. Just send them on back to their horrible lives.

             Apparently twelve or more back to back rounds of heroin use will fuck you up pretty badly once you stop. Or at least in this horrible defective body. he's fairly sure he's been going through withdrawal longer than he actually spent using the damn thing, though he really can't be sure. He lost count midway and didn't even think to count track marks until he knows he reused a few.  So it was more than twelve but how many more? 

              It doesn't matter. The deal is done.  He won't continue. No matter how badly he feels, or how easy it would be to just take the relief he's offered. And it's right there. The end to the sweating, the nausea, the runny nose, the aching pain, this horrible heavy weight just crushing him at every point. He doesn't even have to do anything, just reach out and take it.

              It's so hard not to just reach out and take it. So very hard. It's all he can do to just stay curled up in a ball holding tightly onto that, wonderful blanket that never seems to get damp or dirty and pray for strength. he tries not to hold too tightly to his brother's medallions either.  His fingers have rubbed against them so much they're actually starting to wear down. Not that they were accurate likenesses anyhow, but he doubts flat metal coins will be much help in keeping him together.

              At least the hallucinations have... no, not quite. The walls are on fire, a bright beautiful blue flame that turns them to ash. He can even feel the heat. He reaches out to touch it before the ash collapses around and on him from above, revealing a dark cavern lit by celestial light.

              "As I said, she's right there." It's not Crowley, but who else knows he's here? Probably the peon who carried in Meli. Sure enough, when Luci turns over enough to see who's come for him, it's the little demon gofer that Michael has by the back of the neck, like he's an errant puppy or something. "I could have just brought her out..." Oh, Michael set the wall on fire to get rid of the warding on them. That was clever. Though lucky his bed wasn't pushed up against the side of it. His temper usually does get the better of his judgement.

             And he is pissed. He's manifesting brightly enough to burn blue through his vessel, a light blue, but he's definitely not happy. Even though it's possible that his sibling is just here to finish him off for what he did to Raphael, Luci can't help but smile at the sight. He's beautiful when he's angry.

             "Leave this body or die in it." Michael says to the demon who quickly obliges. "It's alright. I'm sending you to someone who can help you." he reassures the human. "Tell them I have him." the man nods and vanishes. Where did this concern for the possessed come from? Luci tries to sit up but the attempt makes him beyond dizzy so he doesn't bother, just turning onto his back.

              'Welcome back to the land of the living.' he signs. This takes Michael a bit by surprise as he approaches the bed. He doesn't say anything, He just touches his brother's forehead. All the pain and nausea and disorientation fades away into peace.  "Thank you." His voice is very hoarse, but it's good to be able to use it again. After days if not weeks without rest, Luci finally falls asleep.

   

               The interview could have gone better. She rehearsed what she was going to say if asked about the several month gap, but when he actually asked the question, Alex froze and couldn't speak. He had to ask her if she was alright and of course she wasn't. Maybe it was a bit premature to think of going back to work somewhere. Before that, she was perfect but after... you'd think she'd be used to lying about her past by now.

               At least everything was in order at the pharmacy. The clouds are dark in the sky and a few raindrops start to fall. Well that's nothing. She has a retractable umbrella in her purse. It picks up incredibly fast, almost to a downpour before she even presses the button to let it out. When she does the top of the umbrella shoots off the lower half like a rocket, out into the street almost causing an accident, but definitely getting run over and crushed.

               "Dammit Bree." She starts running for the building, but it's no use. by the time she reaches the apartment, she's soaked to the bone and dripping  on the floor. She can hear Bree and Raphael arguing in enochian on the other side of the door as she unlocks it and enters. "You're an asshole, Bree. I want you to kn... hello?" She stops shaking the umbrella bottom as she sees a young man and a young woman sitting at the table, drinking hot chocolate, both looking incredibly shell shocked.

              "Are you kidding me?" Bree laughs at her. "I did that back in June. Is this really the first time you've used that thing?"

              "Gabriel." Raphael snaps at her. She just rolls her eyes and snaps her fingers, drying Alex off. It doesn't do anything for her chill, though.

              "There's an apartment ready, I'd move them there while you help warm her up." Bree gives them both a suggestive wink and snaps herself and the two strangers away.

               "Are you alright?" Raphael brings the throw from the couch over to her, wrapping it around her shoulders.

               "What's going on? Who are those people?"

               "Michael rescued them from being possessed by demons and sent them here to be taken care of." He informs her, not sounding overly pleased with that himself.

               "I really don't think I can handle this yet." She feel her voice start to crack a little. "I know I should. I mean, I'm hardly the first person to be killed a hundred times in a row. Bree killed Dean at least that many at the mystery spot and he was just fine afterwards."

               "First of all, Dean Winchester is not a role model for good mental health or effective coping mechanisms. You should not aspire to emulate him in any way shape or form, nor would I ever want you to. Secondly, not only does he not remember any of those deaths but even if he did there was a break of several hours between most of them. The methods of death were also far less painful than yours. That you are having as little difficulty coping with the experience as you are is nothing short of remarkable. Why don't you go change into something warmer and I'll make you some hot chocolate and chicken soup.

               "Thanks." She smiles and gives him a kiss. It's kind of nice having a wife. The place has never been so consistantly clean, or the fridge so full and the meals so healthy and regular. Of course, most of that is thanks to Bree providing for everything and she really doesn't feel comfortable with that now that she's not really doing anything that could even remotely earn it.

                There's the fuzzy purple night gown that would probably be perfect to wear right now. She tosses it on the bed and closes the bedroom door. That binder Bree brought over when she came is on the corner of the bed. He and Michael must have had a disagreement of he retreated in here for anything. She can't say a fight exactly because they don't exactly fight. It might be better if they did, for the both of them. There's a type written page on the front with the signature crossed out.

               'Mrs. Singer,

                      While I can't give more precise recommendations without meeting the couple personally, here are some good articles and basic worksheets and guidelines I've found useful working with some of my clients in a similar situation. I've sent the ones their partners have found helpful as well.

                       I know you've maintained that neither would be open to a more direct treatment. However I'll be keeping an appointment slot open for the next few months in case they change their minds. Thank you for your donation. It's been a god send. '

          What kind of... oh, that kind. Alex blushes as she flips through the pages. Articles on recovering from sexual assault. None on recovering from ritual sacrifice, though. Not that most people sacrificed to a god recover. Articles for partners of those who have undergone sexual assault. And ones on how to talk to your partner, make them feel safe and in control. There are a few notes in that green pen Raphael likes and a few things crossed off almost violently. Understandable given his own experiences.

           "Is everything alright?" He asks outside the door. Alex looks up, realizing she got caught up in reading the various articles.

           "Yeah, sorry. I got distracted. Could you come in? It's not locked." She closes the binder and puts it aside as he comes in. "We probably should talk while we're alone, I guess." Alex crosses her arms, looking over at the binder.

           "I just wanted to know how to be there for you." he explains. "Whatever you want or don't want to do. I just want to be able to give you what you need. That's all."

           "I know." Alex sighs. "I do want to be with you again. I just don't know what will trigger another panic attack or flashback again. Though I think it was touching the stone counter top that did it that first night."

           "I didn't mean to leave this out. I was distracted by news of Lucifer, and then the guests."

           "What was the news?" She accepts the change of subject, not entirely sure what she'd want to talk about herself.

           "He's being tortured, for at least the last two weeks, but who knows how much longer." He sounds alot more concerned than he intends, she knows.

           "He'll be alright. Michael will find him." Alex reaches out to take his hand.

           "I don't care what happens to him anymore."

           "Yes, you do. You just don't want to and that's fine. You're allowed to feel how you feel no matter how contradictory it may seem. You are, at the moment, human. You'll find that happens a lot."Alex stands up, still holding tightly onto his hand. "I know you never wanted to be anything but what you were. that must make this so much harder on you, having to be confined to this body."     

            "The only thing that makes it worth while is you." For the first time though, his incredibly romantic words just make her feel guilty.

            "And I can't even give you that anymore." She sighs, taking back her hand, hugging her arms to her body.

            "I didn't say having sex with you, Alex. I said you." It's actually reassuring to hear the incredibly pissed off tone in his voice. "I know enough to know that you're not the only woman who I could enjoy myself with. Nor are you the only one this body responds to. I'm inexperienced, not stupid. I wish I hadn't acted on that, then maybe you'd find it easier to believe me when I tell you how much you mean to me."

            "It's not that. It's just hard to believe you could really love me after so short a time."

            "I've known you for years. Even before I really started to get to know you those thursdays, I respected you and was grateful for everything you did for Michael. I liked you, and the more I got to know you the more I liked you. It's not as if I hated you and then suddenly changed my mind once I changed vessels."

            "I know that." she sighs. "But it's been an extremely intense, emotional time. You've been upset, hurt and in danger and I helped and stood by you. You could just be reacting to that."

             "Because finding out that a woman who's company you enjoy more than anyone else's is also brave, loyal, protective, and steadfast in her convictions to a sorely tested degree, is a reason that you couldn't really love them?"

              "Now you're just being difficult."

              "I'm not the one being difficult!" The conversation just degenerates from there.

 

               He can smell bacon, which is beyond confusing. What's worse is that despite the chemicals, nitrates, and overuse of antibiotics in factory farmed animals Luci has never wanted to eat anything more than he does at that moment. When he opens his eyes, he can see the leaves on the bedroom wall.  But the bed beneath him is neither Gabriel's trampoline or the hospital bed Raphael replaced it with. This can't be the cottage, can it?

              Luci slowly stretches, relishing the lack of pain and discomfort, though he does look like a walking skeleton. At least what he can see. Weeks of torture and starvation will do that to you apparently. The self is fixed in his room and the beaded curtain put back up. He runs his fingers across it briefly before passing through. Michael's actually cooking, and not burning anything, a miracle in and of itself.

             "Good morning." He ventures. It's so good to hear his own voice again. Michael looks back but doesn't reply more than a nod, and puts the bacon from the pan onto a plate, before assembling a bit into a sandwhich. "How's Raphael?" the question just gets him an angry look. "It was the only thing I could think of that would get him out of the position I put him in. That girl couldn't be trusted with him obviously, since they got him in the first place, and I didn't want anyone hurting him any more."

             "Nothing any of them did hurt him more than what you did." Michael finally replies. "Do you have any idea... I don't know if he's ever going to forgive you, and that's given the fact that he knows what you were trying to do. If you valued the relationship you'd managed to build at all..... That was the absolute worst thing you could have done, Helel, you absolute idiot!"

              "I valued his welfare more. He didn't deserve to get ostracized and tortured and mistrusted or even cast out of our home because of me. None of you do." he leans back against the wall, not wanting to go nearer. Michael's really mad about that it seems.

              "It wasn't because of you, you arrogant brat. Not like you think. All of us have done things we shouldn't have, or not done things we should. You're not responsible for every bad thing that happens. Nor are you responsible for the rift between Raphael and the rest of heaven. It was there long before we brought you back and due to his own actions. And my inaction."

               "You did kind of tend to spoil him." Luci has to admit. Michael just gives him a look and puts the plate down hard on the table at his seat. At least he paired the sandwich with an orange and buccaneers bounty. "I really did think it was for the best."

             "I know." Michael sighs and takes the plate of bacon from the counter and sets it across from Luci's. "You should eat." It's ridiculous how hungry he feels. So he sits down and takes a bite. Haqd ae's so wrapped up in the deliciousness of this horribly unhealthy sandwich he almost doesn't notice Michael taking a bite of bacon as well.

             "Please tell me you didn't remove your grace again while I slept." He pleads.

             "No. I'm trying to learn how to use my vessel without having to do that. Gabriel's teaching me to... really?" he puts the bacon down and just scowls at his brother.

             "I didn't say anything." Luci swallows his bite.

             "You didn't have to."

             "I'm just surprised that's all." Almost surprised enough to stop eating. "Isn't pork forbidden?"

             "Not anymore. It was always just a health and sanitation issue more than being innately immoral, anyway."

             "I assumed as much. I suppose 'you might get sick and die' doesn't pack the same punch as 'don't do this or I'll smite you'"

             "They do have a hard time resisting temptation with uncertain consequences, even with massively disproportionate risks. Speaking of which, you made a deal with Crowley." He mentions casually.

             "Actually he made a deal with me." Luci grins. "The poor bastard." he laughs. "You'd think he of all people would know better." Michael doesn't look at all amused. In fact he looks almost as pissed off at this as he is at Luci's attempt to save Raphael. Maybe jealously so? "Don't tell me you're upset because I sealed the deal with Crowley a few times. Because you really don't have the right to be. If anything you should be grateful. I had to sleep with Crowley to get you out of the abyss. It's not like I en.. not like it was something I wanted to do." he corrects himself quickly, hoping Michael didn't catch the almost lie. He's trying to be honest, and the unfortunate truth is the demon is good enough in bed to almost make up for the fact it was him he was sleeping with.

               "You'd better not take this kind of attitude when you're apologizing to Raphael." Is the cool reply.

               "I doubt an apology would do any good." He takes the offered change of subject and runs with it. their father knows he doesn't like thinking about that little piece of business more than he absolutely has to, much less having to defend it.

               "I don't care, you need to give it and he deserves to hear it. So start thinking about what you're going to say and beyond that how you're going to make it up to him. because he deserved a hell of a lot better from you no matter what you thought you were doing."

                He can't exactly argue with that, though if there had been any other way to do it, he would have. For instance if Raphael was an even remotely believable liar, he could have let him know his intentions in advance or worked out something along those lines. Was he supposed to just let his baby brother be hated and hunted indefinitely? It's not like he knew Michael would be out even the same Day, much less be sitting here eating bacon, angry at him, but still for some reason... wait..

                "Why do you keep calling me Helel? I'm not even a shadow of him, remember?" he sound a bit more hurt and bitter than he intended.

                "Ever since the abyss, I can't think of you as anything else." Is the quiet response which just makes him inexplicably unreasonably angry.

                "You are such an asshole!"

                "Excuse me?"

                "You heard me." 

                "Why are you angry with me?"

                "Because... you're an asshole!" Is the frustratingly inadequate reply that comes out. Michael just looks at him with a bewildered expression not understanding at all. Of course Luci's not entirely sure what he's angry about either. "Stop saying things like that. Do you even think before you talk?"

               "I'm beginning to wonder if you are right now."      

               "Just don't talk to me!"

               "Helel..." Michale sighs. Luci just picks up his place and takes it into the bathroom, locking the door behind him before climbing into the tub to eat, drawing the curtain. "Fine. Enjoy your meal in the bathtub. I'm going to check in on Alex and Raphael. When you see them, I don't want you being anywhere near as badly behaved as you were when you broke into the bunker."

                "Please. I like Alex just fine. Infinitely more than that monstrosity Gabriel's married to. We'll have to find her a suitable partner when Raphael's done with her. Definitely no more pagans. Maybe a hunter. Someone who can use a good therapist."

                 "You will not interfere with them or their relationship or attempt to find either of them other partners. Do you understand me? It's hard enough keeping Gabriel from teasing them, I don't need your nonsense added to the mix. Do you understand me!"

                 "Bite me, Michael." And he's gone. He actually left him alone here. Which is fine. But odd. It's almost like he trusts him, which makes no sense given how badly Luci screwed up this time.

                 It's surprising how much the thought of Raphael hating him again, bothers him. When he thought it was the only way, he could ignore that, but now it's just one more regret. But how was he supposed to know Michael would be back so miraculously fast? That he'd only have to run for months, not years, or decades. Sure Gabriel would have taken up for them, but that would only have gotten her ostracized, too.  What with marrying a winchester and having a nephilim, she's got to be on thin ice as it is. He was just trying to do what was best for his little brother and sister. That's all. If Raphael can't appreciate that, that's his problem.


	66. Gabriel Singer, Love Guru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel gives Raphael relationship advice  
> and tries to help Lucifer patch things up with Raphael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually kind of love having Raphael and Gabriel together, she kind of brings out his more playful side, even if he doesn't want it brought out. And I kind of found it significant that he was the only one she wasn't ready to stab regarding the whole apocalypse things. Granted, it was between Michael and Lucifer but Raphael was kind of hurrying it along. I dunno, maybe she just didn't realize it was him.

              "You are such a dumb ass."  Gabriel sighs at her scowling older brother.

              "Why am I a dumbass?" Raphael snaps."I'm right."

              "No, you aren't, and even if you were, that wouldn't matter. We're talking about fears and feelings, not the limited set of facts your working with, you dumb ass." She smacks him with a rolled up magazine.

              "Hey." he snatches it away, as if she can't just snap up another. "Stop it."

              "But congratulations on your first fight. You're now an official couple." She brings up a cupcake with a sparkler on top. "Huzzah!"

               "Are you sure it's not the end of a potential relationship instead?" Aw, he really is new at this.

              "No, it's not, provided you get your head out of your ass and apologize."

              "I'm not apologizing!" this time he counters her attempted rolled up magazine tap with one hand and smacks her forehead with his own. "Stop it. just tell me, what did I do that was so wrong?"

               "Is everything alright over here?" The barista asks, walking over to the table, and sends Raphael an uneasy glance. Gabriel just snickers and nods.

               "My sister and I are having a private conversation." Her brother gives a cool reply, ever dignified in the face of absurdity.

               "Raph, you're just... going a little too fast, that's all. You're toddler running screaming after a freindly kitten."

               "I am not!" he sounds so offended by this, though it's so very true.

               "I know you're having really strong feelings and so is she but she's been burned, badly, recently, and doesn't really trust those feelings for either of you yet."

               "I understand that, but who is she to say that I don't understand my own feelings. Does she think I'm lying or exaggerating?" he crosses his arms, leaning back in the booth. He's even pouting a little like the over enthusiastic emotional toddler he is.  Poor little guy. "How could she think that of me?"

               "Raph, she's not insulting you. nobody knows their own feelings this early in a relationship. It's called the honeymoon period and love or lust, or simple infatuation, it all feels the same right now. To everyone, not just you. There's an intensity to these emotions you won't have later on. Right now you think she's the greatest thing in all Dad's creation. Later you may not. Trust me I know. I've had alot of relationships and in the beginning it's all the same."

                "Even with Sam?" he retorts, as if he think's she'll say no.

                "Yes, except in that situation I was the one terrified of it, not him. I tried to write it off as just physical attraction just like she is, because whatever you feel about him you have to admit that Sam winchester is the hottest peice of ass you have ever seen."

                "I absolutely do not have to admit anything of the sort."

                "I've fallen in love as an angel, in a vessel, as a human, and it's all a big old mess and impossible to tell if it's real. My first in vessel relationship was an utter disaster. I ended up married to her and boy was that a mistake.  It's so intense it's impossible to tell the difference between love and infatuation in the beginning no matter what, though."

                "Meaning what? That everything is just a temporary illusion that will shatter into the same pain and hurt I gave meli and there's no point in thinking otherwise? Don't..." he holds up his magazine in defense as she raises hers to bop him one.

                 "Why does everything have to translate into complete and utter hopelessness with you?" She puts it down and tosses ice cubes from her iced mochaccino at him instead. "No, it means it's too early for declaring your undying devotion and she's still getting over Rhys being a lying jackass."

                 "I would never do anything like that to her, though. I would never hurt her that way."

                 "No, but you will in a different way. She's just as smitten with you as you are with her. She mouthed off to Luci on your behalf for Dad's sake. While tied to a chair. Dumb, but you have to admire her loyalty."

                "Don't mention that bastard. he's dead to me." Okay, now he's just being childish. But Michael said to humor him about this, so she'll humor him.

               "Fine. and covering your eyes means the monsters can't see you." she rolls her eyes. "But just because it may come to nothing and honestly probably will doesn't mean it's not worth pursuing.  neither of you is so bad a person what you'll regret ever having met..." the deflated look in Raphael's eyes at this statement makes her think that's probably one of the things that bitch Meli said to him the other day. Michael refused to go into detail, but apparently it was a bad reuinion, to say the least. "Don't pay any attention to what he said. He's a bitter asshole and you deserve better."

                 "If he's bitter, he has every reason to be. I broke my word and I let him down, in multiple ways. Meli didn't say a thing I didn't deserve."

                 "If he loved you, he would have at least tried to understand. You deserved better. I don't care what you think. And no matter how transient it may be, I think you and Alex can be something wonderful to each other at least for a while, and you both deserve that."

                 "I do love her, Gabriel, this is not just an empty physical infatuation." he insists.

                 "Well, sometimes love means saying your sorry for how you made them feel, as well as for saying things in an assinine way, even if you were right, which you aren't. Don't tell me you weren't an asshole, because I know you and I know how you get when you're pissed off and trying to make a point. And it also means taking someone else's feelings and putting them above your own. Alex is scared and hurting and none of it is your fault, but if you want to be with her, you need to keep that in mind. You really do." Gabriel sighs. "Honestly, even if it is the real thing, it's a big confusing mess and you will fight, and you will disagree but then you get to have makeup sex so it's not all bad." She blows out the sparkler. Since he's clearly not going to eat the cupcake, he shouldn't mind if she does.

                 "You think I should go apologize for my role in the disagreement." Raphael finally gets it at least a little.

                 "Only if you understand what you did and really mean it. A fake apology just makes things worse. If you're as bad a liar as you are, that is. I appreciate your penchant for honest and sincerity, but you kind of take it way too far sometimes." She goes to take a bit of her cupcake only to have it turn into a large head of broccolli with ranch dressing. "Hey!"

                 "Why aren't you with the dispossessed? I asked you two to see to them." Michael demands.

                 "First of, that was mean, but funny." she turns it back and takes a bite. "Secondly, they're in their new apartments with a couple students learning how to protect themselves. They're safe. It's fine. And Raph needed some relationship advice."

                 "Not that I asked for any." The jerk adds unhelpfully.

                 "He and Alex had their first fight."

                 "You fought Alex?" He sounds so shocked. Having just spent time with Lucifer, or course, Michael misunderstands.

                 "We argued." Raphael quickly clarifies.

                 "Poor smitten Raphi's like a toddler with a kitten." But her explanation doesn't seem to help at all.

                 "I am not. Stop saying such complete and utter nonsense."

                "If you'd like to go see your brother, he's at the cottage. But he's kind of in a mood so be warned." Michael turns to her, ignoring the budding argument.

                "I'll go get Shelly." Gabriel nods.

                "What? Wait.. are you sure that's a good..." Michael starts but Gabriel just goes back to the nursery where Sam's reading her Pat the Bunny.

                "I'm stealing Michele. Her uncle needs some baby snuggles." She gives him a kiss taking the baby from his arms. Hopefully he won't ask for clarification.

                "Alright. Give Raphael my best."he lets out a yawn and hands his wife the book to take with her as well.

                "Get some rest. We'll be back in the evening. Say, bye, Daddy." she waves Shelly's little hand.

                "Ba aba, dadadada." she chirps gleefully.

                "Bye, Shelly." he smiles and waves back. She doesn't think Michael will tattle, though Raphael might, the little snitch.  He never lets her get away with anything. Of course doing so would require acknowledging Lucifer's existence, so who knows. She takes herself back to the cottage.

                 "Holy fuck, you look horrible." she exclaims as she sees the emaciated figure finishing a BLT in Michael's chair.

                 "Good to see you too, paseh." he scowls.

                 "lalalalalalalala!" Shelly starts to shreik excitedly and squirm in her arms. Lucifer's face breaks into a smile.

                 "There's my little song!" He holds out his arms. What the... Shelly clearly want to go to him so Gabriel can bring her closer at least. "Please let me hold her." he asks gently, almost meekly. Well, it's not as if she couldn't get her back in a snap. She is fully powered. "Oh, i missed you, shelly girl." he smothers her happy squealing face with kisses.

                  "You... missed her?" Gabriel asks not a little surprised.

                  "Dad brought her to see me when he came to visit me in the room. Isn't that right, baby girl?" He coos. So michele wasn't slipping into the veil after all.

                  "lala  lalala."

                   "No, it's Luci. say Luci." he gives an exhasperated sigh. "And he just kept calling me Helel too, so now she's stuck on it. You know he did that on purpose. Grandpa's a stinker, huh lil' angel?"

                   "He... dad... what?" Is Gabriel's concise and articulate response.

                   "Is that Pat the Bunny?" her brother looks over to her hand. "We love Pat the Bunny, don't we baby cakes?"

                   "I'm not sure you can handle the added weight." She puts the book down. "Hold on." How did they do this again? This was so much easier with Raphel. Hopefully it'll stick. A snap of the fingers returns her brother's body to it's originally created state, plumping out the withered arms and legs, making him look more like himself than walking death.

                    "Thank you."

                    "Are you alright?" Gabriel sits on the arm of the chair. "How long were you imprisoned in that room?"

                    "The same day I killed those little bastards who tortured our brother. I was too hurt to protect myself. Crowley took advantage, quite intelligently." He sits Shelly up in the crook of his arm and opens the book.

                    "I'm so sorry. I was looking for you both, but he was warded and so were you. Dad came to see you?" though really she's not too surprised. If their father returned from the dead for anybody, it would be for his beloved Helel ben Sahar, for the potential apology alone. "You did apologize for all your bullshit, didn't you?"

                    "Yes, I did." He doesn't seem to like the way she words the question. "And I'd have broken if he didn't come. Of course, the first thing he did was yell at me for my chosen way of trying to protect Raphael's intrests."

                     "That was the cleverest, most convincing and horribly unneccessarily assinine thing you could have done, you dick. You definitely chose the wrong angel to spare, though, Shepard's an extreme coward. He just left Raphael there and later completely abandoned his damaged vessel. It's only thanks to Alex and Harahel we even found out what happened at all."

                      "That absolute waste of intent! Though it's not too surprising, and I didn't count on it. Why do you think I set the warehouse on fire? And made several anonymous calls to 911."

                      "You know he's never going to forgive you for this." Gabriel informs him. There's the faintest hint of a pout on his lips when he hears this.

                      "You understand, don't you? I was just trying to give him his life back." Which is just missing the point entirely. Man, even after thier little bonding in peru, he still doesn't understand Raphael at all.

                      "At the expense of his confidence, his faith in you, the tenuous hold he had on hope, and his heart. he was barely holding on and you broke him. I don't think you could have broken him more thoroughly if that's what you were trying to do. And you know what? You were wrong in even trying to make that kind of decision for him in the first place.

                      "We're not infants. You don't get to make our choices for us or manipulate our lives if you don't think we're making the right choices. This is babylon all over again and in trying to save him from the fires you dumped him right the fuck in."

                       "That is not the same thing and you know it."

                       "It is, essentially, and you know it."

                       "Pa ba. pa ba lalala pa ba." Shelly smakcs the book impatiently.

                       "How old is she?"

                       "Almost four months."

                       "She's a bit advanced isn't she? Denny's cousin wasn't this expressive at six."

                       "You never really paid attention to Nephilim did you?" Gabriel grins proudly. "But yes, Sam doesn't know whether to brag or start lying about her age. Remember Hercules? Killing those snakes as a baby? Shelly's my little linguist. Yes, she is. She does get frustrated fairly easily though." 

                        "I understand that at least." Lucifer kisses her sparesely covered head. "Being human can be no fun. But don't you worry, you'll grow up so fast and then I can teach you all sorts of cool human things I learned on my road trip. Like busking, making tampons out of toilet paper in an emergency and how to take a bath in a gas station bathroom. Yes, I will..."

                        "Hopefully she'll never need to know any of that." Gabriel grins. "I heard a few things about your strip act, Ms. Strings. I don't suppose you managed to get a video on your phone."

                       "Don't be absurd." he scowls at her. "You know, you're always pissing him off and making up. How do I make things right with Raphael?" Gee asking her like that, how can she refuse?

                       "I have never done anything quite that bad, actually. So I don't know. I doubt a sincere apology is going to be enough. I mean, who'd believe you?"

                      "PA BA!" Shelly shreiks hitting rather ear pericing notes at the end.

                      "Okay, okay! hush, you little banshee." Lucifer tweaks her scowling nose and starts to read, helping her touch the textured patches. How could he possibly make it up to him? He will have to apologize, but words won't cut it.

                       "You'll have to do things. Though I'm not sure what he'd trust you with that's important to him. And it has to be an honest gesture, no scheming or anything. They always find out, trust me."

                       "Well, he has his grace back, doesn't he? So there's not exactly much I can do that he can't." Gabriel gets a sinking feeling in her stomach, still feeling guilty over the grace's disintegration. though now that she knows that Alex was killed and resurrected so many times, that's probably what drained it to that point. But still, if she'd just taken back her grace as soon as she gave birth, it wouldn't have happened.

                     "That's up, kind of the thing, actually. Apparently there's still a large risk from eclampsia even after giving birth. At least for a few days. I didn't really take that as seriously as I should have."

 


	67. Sevenfold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Gabriel convince Raphael to talk to Lucifer, it doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case your disappointed about Raphael's conversations that were omitted such as the full extent of his fight and reconciliation with Alex, it got fairly childish and unflattering on both their parts and neither of them would have appreciated having that published and really I put them through enough without embarrassing them to that degree. As for the disastrous conversation he had with his father, there was no possible way I could have put that in. Because while God will absolutely forgive Raphael for saying those things, he would be far less inclined to forgive me for publishing them, or at least he wouldn't let it go unpunished. and really, my life sucks enough already. I don't need divine wrath hurling down on me as well.

                  In hindsight, Raphael's almost glad they'd argued. They probably wouldn't have ended up discussing things they needed to discuss, or doing some of the wonderful things they did, or at least not quite as soon. He almost definitely wouldn't be waking up beside her, skin to skin with the most wonderful perfect being in all creation.

                   "Good morning." She gives him that sweet sleepy smile as she turns over, tucking her head against his chest and shoulder.

                   "Good morning."

                  "BARK!"

                   What in the name of all that is? They both sit up as they feel something move at the foot of the bed. There's a small fuzzy greyish puppy with a large red bow and a card tied to his torso.

                  "What on earth..." Alex holds the covers to her chest, as she unties the bow from the poor thing. "Therapy dog. For luvies and snuggles when your S.O. is unabailable or being a jackass." She reads out loud. "I'm still not forgiving you for the umbrella yet, Bree."

                  Of course there's enochian on the back which states simply 'to commemorate your first reconciliation, you dog, you.' She is such a pain in the ass.

                  "That was funny and you know it! Who wants pancakes?" They hear from the kitchen.

                  "They don't allow pets in here, Bree. I almost lost this place because of Rhys."

                  "They do now. I bought the building." Is the reply. Of course, the only thing to do is take turns holding the puppy while the other dresses and go out to the main room.

                   "You bought the building?" Alex asks, Though if you think you misheard Gabriel, that's usually just wishful thinking.

                   "Yup. I'm turning it into a recovery center for the dispossessed and supernaturally afflicted. Plus a temporary shelter and way station for angels and hunters.  I need a general manager if you're interested. It includes free rent and twenty four hour protection. Plus you can still go to school and become a therapist. Or a psychiatrist even because you know some of these whackadoos will need some serious medication," She just can't seem to stop interfering in their relationship can she?  Maybe if he could talk Sam in to letting her go back to playing tricks on the various transgressing humans. And what is this fascination with getting people pets? At least it's not something strange like that enormous rabbit she got Lucifer. Though the puppy looks suspiciously like a wolf. 

                   "Bree. I don't know if I can handle that yet. I couldn't even make it through the interview today."  Alex sighs, though he knows she can.

                   "I will get you a very capable assistant to be the power behind the throne, don't you worry your pretty little head. But first you two need an extended tropical vacation while we renovate." She tosses out a couple plates.

                   "You don't need to renovate anything. You can just snap your fingers and make it happen."

                   "That's true," Gabriel admits, "But we'll need to generate good will in the community, and Luci pointed out that depriving local businesses of income won't help with that. Plus people will notice if no one was hired to do the changes I want done. I'm using nothing but small local contracters and having Nick over see the whole thing." Why include that person? He didn't think Gabriel even wanted to think about that vessel, much less toss it favors. It probably wasn't her idea.

                    "That... that's fantastic," Alex smiles, though the only reason Raphael doesn't feel like throwing things is that the object in his hands at the moment is a puppy.  Apparently Gabriel is back to being all buddy buddy with that monster again. Not that he's really surprised. She forgave him for murdering her after all, why wouldn't she forgive him for just stabbing her brother.

                     "I know you have some ideas for a treatment center, too. Before I send you two off on your little honeymoon, Mr and Mrs Jones, you'll want to meet with him to help design the first floor. I love that you gave him your name by the way. That's so modern of you."

                    "Well, he didn't have one. I figured why make one up for him and either change mine or explain why I didn't take his? Jones is fairly common anyway. Though honestly, after what I've been hearing lately, I'm seriously considering changing it anyway. or at least going back to Annie. Politics. ughh." She makes a face.

                    "Gabriel, we're not keeping that ruse." he states firmly.  Honestly, didn't she just tell him he was going to fast?

                    "Yes, you are. Don't worry, when you break up, I'll have Harahel forge divorce papers." He doesn't even know where to begin with that.

                     "And if we don't break up? How can we get married if we're already married?" Alright, maybe that wasn't the best direction to take it.

                    "Ah, you can just say it was a drunken vegas wedding you barely remember and renew your vows."

                     "I'm not saying that."

                    "Everyone who matters would know the truth. And it's already set up with your identities and insurance.

                     "Fix it, Gabriel." he snaps.

                     "I'm sorry." Alex winces. "I really wasn't thinking beyond getting unquestioned access to you and your records."

                     "At least, not with your head, you smitten kitten you." Gabriel chucks her chin. Alex just rolls her eyes.

                    "You and your brother are so alike it's ridiculous." She sits down. Raphael knows she's not referring to him with that, or Michael either. It's going to be impossible to just erase that asshole from existence, isn't it? Or from any part of his life. He's just a stain on everything.

                     "Where's Michael?"

                     "Babysitting he who shall not be named back at the cottage. But don't worry, neesan's still pretty mad at him for everything so it's not pleasant for anybody." his little sister reassures him. It's more comforting than it probably should be. It's to be expected Gabriel would fold, but the thought of Michael brushing everything Lucifer did to him aside so easily really hurt. "I'll be relieving him soon. But I just wanted to stop by and see how my favorite couple were doing."

                      "We're doing fine. You can leave now." He insists. Not that she listens. Really, just because he's without his grace, the little brat thinks she can do whatever she likes.

                      "We don't have any puppy chow, Bree, and I doubt he's housebroken yet. Why would you get qus a puppy right before sending us on vacation anyway?" Alex gives an exhasperated sigh. Which totally overlooks the question of why she would get them a damn puppy in the first place.

                      "It'll be a few months before that. Don't worry. I'll just snap him forwards to when you return, it'll be like you never left." She reassures them.

                      "Who's dog is it?" Raphael asks, giving her a chance to clarify that she did not do the ridiculously inappropriate act of gifting a new couple a joint pet or to at least pretend she didn't.

                      "That's something for your lawyers to settle." She winks at them both, "I'd start discussing names."

                      "Why are you doing this? What is wrong with you?"

                      "This is her revenge for my telling Sam her address after their first kiss." Alex informs him. "It was during Rent, it was adorable. And she fled like a frightened rabbit."

                     "Now, now, why would I want revenge for that?" Gabriel reaches over to pat Alex's head. "You're attempted rescue in tiajuana more than makes up for it and I really should have let you kill the bastard back then, but hindsight, and all that."

                     "No, if I had you wouldn't have been able to reopen the abyss and save your siblings so I consider it worth it." Raphael's not quite sure who they're talking about. He tries not to hear too many stories involving his little sister. He almost always regrets it. He's honestly not sure he wants to hear ones Alex is involved in, especially. Not that it'll stop it from happening.

                     "You wouldn't believe this girl. She has no problem trying to stab an Aztec god in the back, but goes into a panic attack over stealing the impala to go do it. Well, Claire stole it, Alex just wouldn't let her go alone." Well, that wasn't so bad.

                      "Yes, well, you're the one who managed to make him apologize to us for it." Alex nudges her.

                      "That only worked because he didn't know who I was yet. And certainly wouldn't work twice either way, so.. yeah, that was kind of hillarious." Gabriel laughs. He's not sure why but she seems to love pranking Dean. Raphael hasn't quite decided whether she likes the man or hates him. Of course she may not be sure yet either.

                       "That's Claire's favorite story." Alex gives a weak smile. "The second favorite being when you made Dean laugh so hard he fell off Jody's roof."

                       "Right, the Dick pic. That's one of my favorite's, too. Not that it stopped him from messing with our phones." Gabriel sighs. Raphael starts desperately wishing to just forget this entire conversation. "I can take you to see her if you like. She's still with Hel."

                        "Rhys isn't there is he?" A very good question, but Raphael isn't sure if she's trying to avoid saying no, or looking for an excuse not to say yes.

                        "No."

                        "You should talk to her." Raphael says quietly. He knows she wants to, how much she misses her. "You don't have to forgive her, just talk to her."

                        "You're one to talk." Gabriel snorts unhelpfully. "You don't even want to acknowledge Lucifer's existence."

                        "As little as I appreciate what Claire chose to do to either of us, I'd hardly compare her to the devil. Besides, this is my fault. It was what I did that brought this about. I killed her father and didn't even think about it." That alone should have showed him how far he'd fallen, but sometimes you just can't see. 

                         "There's no point. I did what I did and I'm not sorry. She did what she did and even if she is, she can't... we can't fix this any more than you and Lucifer can." Alex crosses her arms. "It's not your fault, we each made our choices." But the look on her face is just too heartbroken for him to let it go at that. They wouldn't have had to make those choices if it weren't for him.

                         "If I talk to my brother, will you go talk to Claire?" He offers. This of course, makes Gabriel fix her most pathetic looking pout on her. "Gabriel, stop." Not that she listens. Not that she ever listens.

                        "It might just make things worse." But the offer's tempted her. He knows she thinks he should reconcile with Lucifer every bit as much as he thinks she should make up with Claire. He's more sure there's no point to his talking to Lucifer than she is to talking to Claire, but if that weren't true, he wouldn't have much of a bargaining chip, would he?

                        "I know. But would that change things that much? And at least you'll have tried."

                        "Okay." Alex sighs. "Do you want to take the puppy with you? He is a therapy dog."

                        "To a fight with the devil? No." he hands him over to her, giving her a kiss as he does so.

                        "Alright! let's go."

                        "But we haven't eat..."Alex starts to protest but is cut off by a snap that sends her presumably to Claire and him to the cottage.

                        "Now, remember, talking involves actual speech." she pushes him to the table where Lucifer's batting a grape around a hash brown and scrambled egg obstacle course with his fork.

                       "Gabriel, I told you to leave this alone." Michael scolds her.

                     "Not my doing. The little love birds keep going all therapy of the magi on each other. It's kind of cute, really." Gabriel sits down next to Lucifer, who doesn't look up, and sends a bacon godzilla to destroy the plate, eliciting a light laugh from him.

                     "What is she talking about?" Michael frowns, snapping the now mangled plate of food back to a more presentable condition.

                      "I told Alex I'd talk to Lucifer if she talked to Claire." Raphael confesses, crossing his arms and looking away. "They really care about each other and this shouldn't come between them."

                       "You know they probably won't be able to reconcile as long as you're involved with Alex, right?" Lucifer says not looking up. "So either you're making things worse for them, or for your relationship with Alex."

                    "Not everyone's as selfish and prideful as you are. If she decides that it's not worth loosing her relationship with Claire, I won't insist otherwise." that's all Raphael can say before the intense hurt and anger wells up, taking away everything else he could say. And it truth, there's nothing he wants to say to him. There's certainly nothing his brother could say that he wants to hear. What could Lucifer possibly say or do that could mean anything?  What could he possibly believe?

                      "I'm sorry, Raph. I fucked up. It was the best thing I could think of at the time to get you out of harms way the most permanently. " Well, if he'd died, he certainly would have been out of harms way, he'll grant the bastard that much. "I didn't know Michael would be out so soon or that it would hurt you as badly as it did."   Right because stabbing someone through and abandoning them in a freezing warehouse that you then SET ON FIRE how could that possibly hurt someone? "You're just so stubborn nothing less would have convinced you and you're such a bad liar you had to believe it or it wouldn't have worked." The bastard still can't even look at him. "Why would you believe that anyways? As if I hasn't just gone through hell for you, literally. Do you really think I couldn't have kicked their asses in the abyss just as easily as I did here? I let them take me because I knew they'd put us together at some point to try and break you." Is that asshole seriously blaming him for any of this? Fuck him.

                       "You asshole! What kind of apology is that?" Gabriel snaps, but Michael just puts a hand on her shoulder, taking her elsewhere so as not to interfere with the discussion. Not that she didn't say anything he didn't want to.

                       "Look, I know you're angry. And you have every right to be." Oh good,because he'd been so worried that Lucifer might not approve of his hating him. Asshole. "I am sorry and I wish I'd been able to think of anything else but I couldn't." Well that makes two of them ."I know there's nothing I can say or do that's enough but I am trying." The arrogant asshole says as if that really fucking matters anymore, and goes to put his plate on the counter. He takes a knife from the drawer, holding it by that little sheath they put them in now. "So I guess, the best I can do at the moment is offer you a chance to do to me what I..." he doesn't even wait for his brother to finish, he just grabs the knife and plunges it straight down into his brothers left breast, skewering it. Non lethal, but will hurt like hell very shortly.

                        The look on Lucifer's face in the moments before the pain registers makes Raphael wish he had his phone or even a crappy disposable camera. The string of curses he lets out as soon as the pain starts to register is almost impressively extensive. Lucifer obviously didn't expect him to actually do it, which is really why he almost had no choice but to. Not that he wouldn't have wanted to either way.

                       "Did it ever occur to you, just once, to respect my decision to stand by you and take whatever consequences there were? Or are you so fucking arrogant that you think you know better, when time has done nothing but prove that you don't."

                   "I was trying to give you your life back, you ungrateful little brat!"

                   "By betraying me and making me think everything I had tried so hard to do... I trusted you, do you have any idea how hard that was? How much I struggled and fought with myself, questioned everything over and over... And you made me think it was all a lie, and what's worse, that by not sending you back to the abyss when I had a chance, I'd condemned Michael to it for all eternity. I.... nobody has ever hurt me the way you did. The way you've always done, and if your love and care just leads to even worse pain, I don't want it. And I certainly don't want you. At all. Ever. And there is nothing you can do or say that can ever make any of that okay. I could stab you a hundred million times and it would never set things right.

                    "I don't care what you meant. I don't care how you feel. I don't care what you want,and I don't care about your damn intentions, either. I don't want you in my life again. Not ever, not in any way shape or form. You are not my brother." Raphael storms out of the cottage before his siblings come back and heads towards the highway. He can make his own way home.

  

                    "Hey." Raphael looks up from the cell bench, as Alex and Sherrif Mills are brought over by the local idiots. Apparently hitchhiking was a bad idea. "What happened?" Alex rushes in as soon as the door is opened and puts a hand to his swelling cheekbone.

                     "Apparenlty using your right to remain silent provokes a violent response."

                     "Where's James." Sherrif Mills turns to the trooper escorting them. "Take me to  Captain Oberman right now or I will have you on desk duty for the rest of your life, do you understand me?"

                      "Yes, Ma'am."

                      "Can I take it that things didn't go well with Lucy?" Alex puts her arms around him.

                      "You can." He takes comfort in her embrace. "I hope they went better with Claire."

                      "Are you kidding me? INS? Listen you racist little turd...." They hear breifly from down the hall before a door closes.

                      "She's got this." Alex smiles weakly, though Raphael doubts that a tirade like that will do much more than get him another beating when they leave. He could fight back, but risk manslaughter, which is why he didn't in the first place. "I'm sorry. This is a sucky country to be a minority in."

                      "At least I don't have strangers constantly telling me to smile anymore." He comments, only half joking.

                      "That does get old."

                      "... have IA so far up your ass you'll..." There's a  breif threat as the door to the office opens and closes again.

                      "I didn't think Sherrif Mills liked me that much." he frowns a bit surprised at her vehemence. Unless of course she's purposefully provoking him, but not everyone is as twisty as Lucifer and he feels breifly ashamed for thinking it of her.

                      "She takes police misconduct very seriously. Why didn't you just call for Michael?"

                      "Things went very badly with Lucifer and lets leave it at that for now. Besides he's not exactly subtle. I didn't want things to end up on the news."

                      "Probably a good idea." Gabriel appears in the cell with them, freezing everyone else around them. "He has been a bit out of sorts. And I'm not going to yell, Luci really had that coming, the dumbass." She snorts, shaking her head and hands him a peppermint. It will get the taste of blood out of his mouth. Though it stings a little. "I'll fix you up as soon as you're out of here. I don't suppose you could point out the arresting officers?" Of course he easily can. While he probably should ask Gabriel not to do anything to them, his numerous cuts and bruises argue otherwise. "I noticed that too, Alex, good eye." She lightly punches Alex's arm. What did she pray to her? "And I will absolutely let you in on this. I'll get you this afternoon for the brainstorming session."

                       "Don't drag Alex into your tricks." But Gabriel just disappears

                       "Just try to keep me out of this one." Alex retorts and takes his hand and pulls him up.

                       "Ignorant little..." Jody storms back out of the office, over to the cell. "Alright. I had to threaten to call everyone up to his mother and his preist, the little... But you're free to go. I wanted to thank you for not fighting back, by the way. They're idiots but it is a bad stretch of highway and they need all the people they have to keep an eye on it."

                       "How did you know I didn't?" Raphael frowns. "I'm fairly sure they're claiming otherwise."

                       "I saw Bree training Claire and Alex. I assume you're at least as skilled as she is. There's no way they'd have been left standing if you'd raised a hand to them, in self defense or otherwise. What happened to your ID?"

                        "Bree kind of kidnapped us before breakfast." Alex informs her. "We didn't have time to really get ready. Thank you so much, Jody." Alex clings onto his arm like she's afraid he'll fall over. He must look worse than he thought.

                        "Don't mention it." But she gives Raphael a moderately irritated glance as they head out to and get into the car that lets him know that she's not quite done. "Though if you were maybe just a bit politer with a little less attitude..."

                       "Jesus, Jody." Alex covers her face. "Since when is being in a bad mood a cause for being arrested and beaten?"

                       "I'm not saying that, Alex. you just catch more flies with honey than vinegar." As if that's what she just did. "I tell Dean the same thing."

                       "Yeah, well, Dean is arrested for grave robbing, forgery, vandalism, impersonating a police officer, theft, murder... Raphael was walking along the side of a highway to blow off steam and refused to answer questions. Not once has anyone ever manhandled Dean the way they did him and you know he's way much more of a mouthy pain in the ass. So don't try and blame Raphael for this by talking about attitude."

                        Of course that just triggers a big argument between them about the dangers of police work and institutional racism that lasts almost the entire car ride home. The open discourse is actually fairly interesting and shows the socratic nature of their relationship. Though it sounds as if they're discussing two different subjects half the time.

                        "Well, what does he think of all this?" Sherrif Mills glances back at them in the rearview mirror. Oh, joy, a request for an opinion. That can't go badly.

                        "I think if you can't handle a little attitude without exploding into violence, you shouldn't be working in a customer service industry. Especially not one where you're assigned weapons."

                        "A what?"

                        "That is the motto, isn't it? To protect and serve?" he looks out the window.

                        "Well, yes, but it's not exactly..." this makes her think at the very least, and ends the conversation. It doesn't matter anyways.  Human nature doesn't change, just who's at the top of the heap and how long they stay there.               


	68. Of Debts to be repaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael patches up Luci, and checks on an old freind while trying to reign in a vengeful Gabriel

           "That was a stupid gesture, Helel." Michael heals his flustered and bleeding brother.

           "I can't believe he stabbed me in the breast." Helel looks down at the blood stained shirt. "Who does that?"

           "You do. You stab people." he really can't help but remind the idiot. "All the time."

           "That's not Raphael though." he rubs the offended breast, though Michael knows it doesn't still hurt at all.

           "You didn't expect him to take you up on it, which is exactly why he did. And after angering him to the point of explosion, you should be grateful he only stabbed you once. Did he say anything? Or just stab you and leave?" It's actually fairly hard to keep from laughing. He knows it's not funny, but Helel has never been good at dealing with Raphael, almost willfully obtuse about him. It's as if he thinks he's the only one of them with a deep instinct to tell people to go screw themselves.

           "No, he yelled at me. Said he wanted nothing more to do with me. That I'm not his brother." The look on Helel's face as he says this is oddly reminiscent of Raphael's when he was young and was constantly snubbed, scolded, or dismissed by his older brother. He hates to see it, but Michael can't pretend it's not deserved. Helel was never the brother to Raphael he should have been. He very nearly was this past year, but then he had to ruin it.

            "He'll forgive you eventually." Michael tries to comfort him but it doesn't work. "Just not any time soon."

            "He won't." Helel looks down at his hands. "I ruined it. He actually loved and trusted me. I think he even liked me for a while, and I just... ruined it. What's worse is now I know what I'm missing." Michael doesn't really know what to say to this, so he just puts his arm around him and gives his Helel a kiss. "Don't kiss me like that if you don't mean it." But there's no conviction behind the statement.

              "I mean it."

              "You can't mean it, you have your grace back."

              "As if that ever stopped Gabriel." Michael replies. Though he knows it's not a statement for cultivating any sort of romantic mood. " I love you and I know you're trying. I believe you. What's more, I believe in you. We'll make everything alright again. Maybe not today, but we will."

             "You can't know that, Michael."

             "You can't know it won't. I won't be giving up again, not on you, not on anyone. You've started shining so brightly. I know you can't see it but you are." But Helel is still holding himself back, unwilling to just accept being loved in whatever form it's offered right now.

             "I love you, but I really don't think Raphael would be okay with this right now. Or ever honestly. I don't want to get in between the two of you, I know he needs you and that you need him, too."

              "I think if Sam can accept Gabriel's relationship with you, and you can accept hers with Sam's then Raphael can deal with this." Granted Sam is a much more forgiving person than either of them, and Helel, though it'll be a long time before he ever admits it, knows he entirely in the wrong. But still, he does have faith in his sister's love for him.

               "Speaking of Gabriel, how would we break it to her? I don't want her flipping out either."

               "I already did. She's... coping. I'd expect a lot more jokes, though." As if either of them would expect anything else.

               "Are you sure about this? I don't want another bout of buyers remorse like last time. I really don't think I could take it again." Helel moves back a few steps, bumping into the counter.

               "I'm sure. I love you and want to be with you in every possible way. I know it won't be the same with my grace back, and I know I promised to stay human until you were restored as well, but I'm done shirking my responsibilities. I hope you understand."

                "No. I do. It was a really stupid decision in the first place. And you can't leave Gabriel the only archangel," Michael debates whether to correct him, in allowing for Castiel, but he doubts that Helel actually forgot about him. "And you can't leave my son in charge of the angels. They should never have been able to get away with what they did to Raphael."

                "They got away with worse under me."

                "No, Raphael got away with worse, they were just following orders." He just has to remind him.

                "But Castiel does need support, so that's what I'm going to give him. When the need arises."

                "And you will of course, be hunting down the rest of Raphael's torturers and bringing them to justice I hope." Michael can't help but notice that he doesn't mention the fact that Raphael's torturers also tortured him, and hurt him badly enough that Crowley was able to get the better of him, if only briefly. Does he think he deserved it? Or does he think that Michael just wouldn't care about that as much. Unfortunately his decision regarding that won't make him think otherwise.

                 "I'm offering amnesty if they turn themselves in. And if they do, you have to forswear vengeance as well, or there's no point."

                 "Hell no!" Not that he didn't expect it to be a tough sell.

                 "I mean it. Forgive them as you would want to be forgiven. Why should you be granted mercy for your crimes and no one else?"

                 "I shouldn't, obviously." It's impossible to tell if he's just being stubborn or really means that. Either way it's not an acceptable stance. "It's up to Raphael. If he agrees to it, then... so will I." It obviously grates him to say it, especially as he at least now knows that he can't predict what exactly Raphael will do and thus can't make a promise he doesn't think he'd have to keep. Helel gives a sign and deflates a little after a moment of resistance to his own decree. "I've been thinking of how to make it up to him, like you said to, though obviously not because you said to." He feels the need to clarify for some unknown irritating reason

                  "Obviously."

                  "Give Raphael my grace." Of all the things he expected Helel to say, that wasn't it. "He doesn't want to be human, he shouldn't have to be. You know I'm never getting it back so give it to him to do what he wants with it at least until his is ready."

                  "I don't think it would work. Or that he'd even want it if it did. Please don't think he definitely wouldn't take you up on it, though, because he might." Michael's not even sure how he'd feel about that, much less how Raphael would.

                   "I'm not. And who knows if it would work or not. Well, maybe he would, but who knew that by possessing Castiel my grace would infuse with his and turn him into an archangel? But it might work, so why not? He deserved the chance at least." Helel gives an uncomfortable shrug as he speaks.

                    "That means you may not get it back for Days, Helel. Maybe not for longer than you would have been without it otherwise. And that's if you get it back at all. You know that, right?"

                    "I know." Michael's not sure he's ever loved his shining star more than he does at that moment. "The truth is, that I really shouldn't have it back, not now, not for a very long time. It's hard enough putting up with humanity now, when it takes significantly more effort to hurt the brats." Well, brats is a step up from flawed abortions. "You don't know how many people I'd have destroyed or tormented with barely a thought if I could have. I could probably have ended up finding a reason to justify it, like I did with those four boys, but obviously my moral compass is still fairly out of whack." That's a little less heartening, but honest at least.

                    "I'll let him know then."Michael takes a breath, not wanting to ask but having to. "What four boys."

                    "Just some suburban thugs who decided to fuck with the wrong drunk girl that's all. This was right after I found out about Gabriel and Sam, so I wasn't exactly in the best of moods. It could have turned out worse honestly, but my response was admittedly bit excessive, however justified I was in defending myself."

                    "You killed them." He gives an exhasperated sigh. That will definitely be harder to excuse. Granted he was human himself at the time but his training and experience just put him at such a massive advantage it's still not quite equitable.

                     "And mutilated their corpses." Helel actually looks a bit embarrassed about that. "But i did use their hearts and livers to send Hodges a tribute that got me the meeting and let me get most of Raphael's grace out of Hell, so lemons, lemonade. That was fun, Denny and I wrecked havok on it. Speaking of her did Castiel get heaven to let her in yet? Or are they still stuck on the fact that she was technically helping me, though actually trying to help save Raphael and Gabriel?"

                    "They are. She's with Gabriel's eldest in Helheim. How did she die?" He asks, though it must be a painful subject. Denny was probably one of the only actual friends, Helel's ever had.

                    "She was hit by a car. Jeff didn't really take your death well and she was out talking him off a ledge, the bridge I think, one drunken night. Some other drunk failed to make the turn onto the bridge properly and hit them both. Denny died instantly, but Jeff was just paralyzed. But don't..." Before he can finish, Michael's taken himself to go see his friend. Wash he there that night Michael died? Nearby? He didn't even think about what it must have done to Jeff. He's been so worried about Raphael.

                     'Michael, don't worry. I used Raphael's grace to heal him.' Helel prays to him, a bit put out at his abrupt departure. It warms his heart to no small degree but he still wants to see him.

                     "Is there any word yet?" He's on the phone with someone. There's a map on the wall with pins and string and a few news clips. "No... no, I understand." Jeff sighs dejectedly. Michael unfolds one of the news clippings located in Nebraska. Lucy Pivensie wanted in connection with... He's looking for Lucy. Michael is dead so he's trying to look out for his little sister.

                      "She's alright." He says before he can stop to think what an exceptionally bad idea it is. Jeff's not part of that world, though only in the most technical sense of not being aware of it. "She's back at the cottage at the moment." The phone drops from Jeff's fingertips and he slowly turns around.

                      "Mike?" Jeff reaches out to touch his arms, almost looking as if he'll pass out, so Michael takes hold of his to help him stay upright. "But... you... you're dead. You died in my arms. I..." He doesn't bother to question further and just throws his arms around the angel. "I've been trying to find her.. I tried to look out for her, but maybe I did the wrong thing."

                      "We do need to talk. I didn't tell you everything and I should have.  But I'm alright. I really shouldn't leave Lucy alone too long, but she told me you'd gotten hurt so I had to see if there was anything I could do."

                      "No, I'm... I'm fine. It was a miracle. They thought I was paralyzed, my spine shattered, or something, but there must have been a mistake some swelling and a faulty xray screen or something because after Lucy came to see me, everything was fine. Where have you been?" Jeff just looks at him, touching his shoulders his face, just trying to make sure he's not hallucinating it seems. But what exactly can he tell him?

                       "I would have come sooner, but my brothers were in trouble."

                       "You have brothers?" Jeff lets go, "No... wait... How are you alive? You died. You were dead, Michael. Your heart stopped, you weren't breathing...."

                       "Lucy helped bring me back. I owe you the truth at least, but as I said I can't leave her alone and it's along story. Come to the cottage. We'll be there for a while." Michael's not exactly sure what to say, and feels a bit of panic at the idea of trying to explain his deception. It's never gone well when Gabriel's was revealed. Despite not wanting to get  Jeff in more trouble than he has already, he also doesn't want his friend to hate him either.

                      "I was, yes. I'd take you back with me, but Lucy's a bit tempermental. I'll probably need to prepare her for your arrival." A blatant lie. Helel will be bitchy or not regardless of any preparation.

                     "What do you mean take me back with you?" Jeff frowns, realizing, most likely, that he doesn't even know how Michael arrived. Of course, Michael has no idea what to say or how to say it so he just hands him one of those St. Michael medallions Raphael found at the convention and takes himself back to the cottage.

                     "Gabriel?" he calls to his sister as Helel nibbles on some bacon. "I need to consult with you."

                     "Why do you need Gabriel?" Helel asks. "Is Jeff okay?"

                     "He's fine. I just..."

                     "You rang?" Gabriel appears, stealing some of Helel's bacon, and incredibly disturbingly dipping it in maple syrup.

                     "Yes, how did you tell Claire you were an angel?" It's the most successful instance of him doing it, with the least hard feelings so that would be the example to go by, if any.

                  "In the midst of a relation ship crisis with Sam as a kneejerk response to a different assumption. Why? Who are you coming out to?" The phrasing makes Helel laugh quietly to himself.

                    "Jeff." Michael ignores him. "I went to see him, but I didn't know what to say and just told him to come to the cottage."

                    "You... tell me exactly what you said and what he said and we'll see about damage control then go from there." Gabriel perches on the table, wincing as he relates their brief conversation. "Ah, Michael... you... hold on, I'm going to go intercept him before he checks himself into the hospital." Helel of course is just laughing his head off.

                     "What?" He snaps at his brother.

                     "That was the dumbest way to go about things. He probably thinks he's lost his mind." Helel laughs. "Though if it was less socially awkward, he'd never have believed it was you for a second."

                     "I suppose Denny took it well when you told her?" he shoots back.

                     "Well, yes and no. Look if you can come back from the dead and go say hi to your friends, so you think maybe you could excuse bringing Brett to Helheim to see Denny?"

                     "Helel, she's dead, and is going to stay dead."

                     "I know that." He says quietly.

                     "Her remains are cremated. I can't see it doing anything but hurting him."

                     "Fuck Brett. I want it for Denny." He snaps. "She went through a lot for me and for you and Raphael, she deserves it."

                     "I can take you to see her afterwards if you like."  Michael offers, hopefully that will be good enough.

                     "I don't think she'll want to see me." He looks almost forlorn as he says it. "She was angry when she found out who exactly I was. I don't really blame her. Especially since she let me use her soul. But I know she misses her brother. What about letting her visit him in a dream? Maybe you could get Alex to talk to him. I hear she's done wonders for Nick."

                    "Alex has some healing of her own to do. It's her turn to be taken care of right now." Michael states firmly. Raphael and Gabriel were both very clear that she needed to take it easy and not just push through it.

                    "Why? What happened?" Helel almost sounds concerned, but it's not for him to tell, and definitely not to him. His expression must say as much because Helel just rolls his eyes and turns back to the plate. "Fine, don't tell me.  When you see her again, give her my continued conditional tolerance." Whatever response Helel expected to this, Michael's stony silence is clearly not it. "Raphael thought that was funny." he mutters, dipping the bacon in the syrup Gabriel left behind.

                   "Raphael has a very strange sense of humor. You don't know which path he took do you? He's probably started to cool off by now. so I'm going to see about taking him home." Michael looks out back.

                   "No, I didn't. I was a little preocuppied with the knife in my chest."

                   "I'm not scolding him, either. You literally asked for it." Michael informs him, this just gets him an incredulous look. "You even handed him the knife."

                   "It was a meaningful gesture, I didn't think he's actually stab me."

                   "Which is exactly why he did. If you had, he wouldn't have. Probably." After all Helel did stab him and leave him in a burning warehouse.

                   "That makes no sense!"

                   "It does if you understand Raphael." He counters. Helel can't argue with that at least and doesn't even try. "I'll be right back." But he's not on any of the trails or the surrounding areas. Nor does he respond to Michael's summons. Either he's hearing and ignoring him, which is incredibly unlikely or he's just flat blocked out everyone. Or he's lying in a ditch somewhere unable to hear or send anything, or he's dead. Michael expands the search to the surrounding area in a circular pattern, scouring the entire state.

                  "Call off the search. He's fine. He's with Alex." Gabriel appears before him. "And don't go barging over there like an overprotective bull in a china shop either. You have to talk to Jeff remember. Poor little thinks-he's-going-crazy still-stuck-on-you Jeff." She tugs on his arm, "Michael, How attatched are you to your role as patron saint to policemen?"

                  "Why do you ask?" As if he doesn't know better than to answer questions like that without knowing the context.

                  "No reason." The little liar goes back to the cottage.

                  "Why are you asking me about policeman? Did something happen? You're not killing anybody Gabriel!" He says in his firmest voice, not that it ever made a difference.

                  "Why do you keep feeling the need to clarify that? I haven't killed people in part of a decade. Besides it's part of the prenup.  But you have to admit the ones who I did had it coming." She walks back into the cottage. "Sorry, Jeff, our over protective big brother was looking for our little sulky one."

                  "I am not over protective! He just got out of the hospital." Michael snaps before seeing Jeff turn pale again.

                  "It's okay, we see him too." Helel reaches over and pats his arm with the barest concern. He doesn't even look at the human, rolling his eyes as he does so.

                  "I know this is all a lot to take in." Gabriel smiles. "But it's the truth. Michael, show him your wings."

                  "What? No. I'm not manifesting power on this plain , there'll be fires everywhere. You show him yours."

                  "Massive windstorms aren't much better."

                  "What about your divine messenger form?" Helel suggests. "That's the one they use for most of the paintings."

                  "That's only for the extra special ultra official ones and since dad's apparently still kicking I'm not pushing it with that. Hold on." Gabriel disappears breifly before reappearing with Shelly. "Here, hold this. You'll feel better." She hands her to Jeff before disappearing again.

                  "Damn it, Gabriel! She is not a therapy dog!" Helel goes to take the adorable thing from a clearly uncomfortable Jeff. "Your mommy's a pain the butt. Yes, she is. Yes, she is." Of course the sight of Helel cooing over the smiling golden infant is almost enough to make Jeff crack a grin before reality takes hold again.

                   "You're an angel." Jeff says blankly, looking over to Michael. "And so is Gabriel. And April too?"

                   "Archangels, but yes." He brings up a couple beers and hands him one before sitting down beside him on the couch. "And April's not actually April. His name's Raphael. He has a new vessel now since zuni war gods destroyed his old one."

                   "Uncle Raph doesn't seem to have much luck with vessels, does he, shelly girl?" Helel gets to his feet, "No he don't. Shall we dance, little girl? Michele, ma belle. These are words that go together well, My Michele." he starts to sing waltzing the happy baby around the living room. Of course he can't resist sending a few meaningful looks Michael's way at key points in the song.

                   "Um...  why April? Why not just Raphaela?"

                   "He preferred a different name entirely than to artificially gender his own. Of course, he regretted letting Gabriel pick it." Michael takes a sip and finds he's distracted enough by Helel's song and dance to taste it.

                   "And... Lucy?" Jeff gives the pair an apprehensive look. Well there's no helping it.

                   "Lucifer."

                   "Man, you weren't kidding about behavior problems." Jeff takes a long drink and slumps against the sofa. "I hate to ever say this phrase but the old man was right. The devil is a woman."

                   "Teenage girl." Michael corrects, for some reason eliciting a snort of laughter from his freind that makes him get some of his beer up his nose.

                   "Currently."  Helel says. "As soon as I have a choice, I'm going for a nice one like my last worthwhile one. Do you think Gabriel's over the stabbing enough to maybe break me off a peice of Nick again? He was my favorite." Michael just ignores him.

                   "So... I got hot and heavy with an archangel." Jeff's obviously not quite believing it or he wouldn't have just said that in front of 'Lucy'. Helel just gives them a look that would shatter glass with the sudden drop in temperature.

                    "I don't think Michael knows how to do it any other way." Helel smacks him a kiss. "Isn't that right, honey?" Jeff just gives him a wide eyed look at this, that really makes Michael wish there was an easier way to explain all of this. He just drinks his beer as long as he can before responding.

                     "It's complicated." Is the best he can really do.

                    "I'll bet." Jeff takes another drink himself, looking away breifly. "Well, I'm not one to judge. Trust me." Jeff gives a start as Gabriel returns with Harahel.

                    "Alright, Hara, show him your wings." She pushes the angel forwards.

                    " What? No!" She blushes. "Krissy hates it when I manifest. We just made up. I'm not going to... oh, are you sure? I know it stings when you're up front... Okay, okay. Just for a minute."

                      "Really, Gabriel?" Michael reproaches her.

                      "She has lovely wings." She protests. "Oh, Luci, I have a project. Care to help?"

                      "No!" Michael gets up. "No projects! Gabriel... I'll be right back." He informs the remaining two as Harahel brings out her wings. They're practically luminescent, even in this plain. It's a shame jeff can't see more than the shadows. "You do have lovely wings."

                       "Thank you." Harahel blushes and looks away.

                        "I'll be right back." He goes after his vanished siblings. "Gabriel! I mean it!"


	69. Puppy Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We skip back to Alex's meeting with Claire,  
> we learn what happened to estrange loki and odin (what they're not telling Yuri)  
> Raphael gets offered Luci's grace  
> They name the puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So second to last Chapter. I wanted to show how Claire and Alex make up. It was a tricky one, but they were a lot more cooperative than Raphael and Luci.

            Alex sits in the hall, scratching the puppy behind the ears. Well, she made the promise, but what to say. Does she even really want to see her? What can they say?

             "You can't hide in here forever, sotnos," Alex smiles as she hears Hel scolding Claire. "I do have things to do besides make love to you, no matter what we'd prefer."

             "Hel, I can't..." Alex looks up to see Hel shove Claire out the door, locking it behind her. Hel's been dressing her up like a barbie doll, it's easy to see. Claire would never be in a 60's style baby blue lingerie with a see through puff ball hemmed robe like that of her own volition. It's like something out of Austin Powers. "Hel!" A snap changes it to her usual shirt and jeans combo.

              "Hey." Alex looks down at the squirmy puppy.

              "Hey." Claire replies putting her hands in her pockets. "Are you..."

              "How are..." they both start at once.

              "How are you?" Claire goes ahead at the pause.

              "Surviving." the puppy starts licking her face. "You?"

              "I'm okay. I get chilled sometimes. And cold, but less and less." She awkwardly rubs her arms.

              "Cold?"

              "Like, emotionally. I just freeze. It doesn't make a difference though. I know how badly I screwed up no matter how I'm feeling." Claire looks away, making Alex's heart ache.

              "I know you didn't mean for that to happen, Claire. I do." Alex makes herself say. "I know that I shouldn't..." But she can't make herself finish. "You're still my sister, Claire, but I'm not turning away from Raphael and it still..." She doesn't even know how to finish. She's not choosing him over Claire. She's not, is she? Does it have to be him or her?

               "Are you in love with him?" Claire asks the big question.

               "I think so. I know that he hurt you, but he's not that same person. And I know how that sounds, believe me. But I can't condemn him. How could I? You know what I've done. Do you know how many men I led to their deaths?  How many men it takes to feed a family of vampires? So what if they were skeevy perverts? That doesn't warrant a death sentance. Do you think none of them have children or loved ones? Or that it was just that one innocent man ever? They all had mothers at the very least. And I didn't have the excuse of being on the right side of a holy war. And make no mistake, he and Michael were on the right side. If a side had to be chosen. But it didn't after all." She trails off, knowing it's either too obvious a plea or not nearly obvious enough.

               "You were a child, Alex, a hostage. You didn't have a choice. I don't blame you for that. I don't. I should never have said to you what I did." Claire sits down beside her. "I know we haven't always gotten along and that we've only known each other for a few years, but we are family aren't we? How can you choose him over me?"

               "It wasn't about him vs you. It was about what was right, Claire. And handing him over to be tortured was not right."

               "Fine. Maybe it wasn't, but what about now? Are you really going to sit here and tell me you're in love with the angel who killed my father and expect me to be okay with that?"

               "No. I don't. I know I'm probably wrong, but I won't forsake him. I don't expect you to understand." Alex  buries her face in the puppies fur as he starts licking her, whining sympathetically.

               "Why do you love him? Everything I hear from Hela says he's just a scary dour cynical asshole. At best he's just an angelic eeyore." The comparison does make Alex laugh a little.

               "Well, yes, he can be sometimes. But he's been through a lot.  And there's a lot more to him that that. I sincerely doubt you want to hear me start singing his praises so we'll drop that." Alex smiles, an angelic eeyore.

               "No tell me, because there's better be more than his hot new body that's made you go this gaga. And I hope he's the sole occupant of it by the way, because if not that raises some serious consent issues." As if she wouldn't have thought of that.

                "He is, of course he is. And of course there's more. He's intelligent, thoughtful, dependable, incredibly organized, he cooks, he's not possessive or over protective like Rhys, though he obviously gets just as worried. He trusts me, I ... I enjoy him so much. For weeks after I found him, he never pushed anything at all, not even slightly, he just let me feel however I felt without demanding an explanation or trying to change it. And he listens. He actually listens when I talk. And the way he looks at me, like I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread." Alex can't help but sigh. "And yes, he can be a bit of a mouthy dick at times but sometimes he'll say the most perfect things and they're even better because you know he actually means them, or at least believes he does."

                "Well, I haven't heard anything that makes up for killing my father, but since he didn't kill yours, I can see how you might like all that. I hate him and if he gives me any cause I will fuck him up in any way I can. But.... I'm not loosing another family member to him, so... if you can forgive me for being a vengeful idiot, I can forgive you for being a besotted fool." Claire reaches over to pet the squirmy puppy.

                 "A besotted fool?" Alex can't help but grin at her. "You're starting to sound like Hel."

                 "I know, I've got to get out of here before she starts moving my things in. I love her to peices but she's so clingy sometimes, especially after I've been hurt, it's ridiculous."

                 "Apparently, Michael's the same way. He's gone all mother hen on the both of us, it's driving Raphael crazy. Not on Bree though, for which she's grateful and rubbing it in. Of course the fact that she took down an Aztec god while mortal and in labor helped. Krissy took pictures. Where's your phone? I posted my favorites on imjur." Alex trades the puppy for Claire's phone and brings up the pictures.

                 "Oh my god!" Claire laughs. "Are those the underoos Thor gave her at the baby shower? God, that was a weird baby shower."

                 "She has a raw human heart in her hand and is holding a severed head with her teeth and you ask about the underwear? But yes, they're the avengers underoos."

                 "She hates the avengers." Claire shakes her head. "Thor hates the Avengers. He called chris hemsworth a toe headed weakling and an idiot for not wearing a helmet. I swear I don't understand them. Yuri's been here, all in a snit now that Michael's back and tearing it up in Valhalla again. He's pretty much the only one who's not thrilled with that. Well, him and his father."

                 "I don't suppose you've found out what it is with Bree and the Aesir now anyways. I know Baldur kind of went behind his back with Angrboda, but that doesn't explain that whole banquet scene. If that's even close to true, someone pissed her off big time." Alex asks, that's been bugging her for so long and Bree won't say a word. She promised Angrboda, though why she'd promise that tramp anything, is beyond Alex. She probably really loved her.

                 "Actually, yes. I do know, finally." Claire looks around and moves closer to talk quietly in Alex's ear. "So you know that Baldur is really the three's father, right? Bree honestly didn't care since that meant their birth was much less likely to kill their mother. Plus he just let it go because of his blood brotherhood with Odin. Thor would have happily kicked Baldur's ass for him, but he and Loki just started this semi official competition over women instead. Now, being men, they both had a don't tell the wives clause. But they neglected to add a don't tell the mistresses clause, and so Loki told Angrboda everything, kind of as a way to get her back for having three children by Baldur. She was more pissed at Baldur's dalliances and threatened to tell his wife the names and locations of every woman he slept with if he didn't stop. She was the jealous sort and a few of those he really liked.  He didn't really take that well and killed her.

                 "I don't know how Bree found out. Hel didn't say but she went to Odin and demanded he do something in response to this. They were blood brothers, by all rights. Odin should have taken some sort of action, blood money or something at the very least, but he refused claiming there was no proof and he wasn't prepared to slander his son's name on the word of a notorious trickster who was known to be jealous of him anyway. This is what set Bree off and led to that infamous dinner tale which was way worse than was actually passed down. She basically, in retaliation for Odin breaking his oath, revealed every secret and tale he was not oathbound to keep, and then went and helped Hodr take down Baldur.

                  "Of course, Hel, knowing what happened refused to let Baldur go and it took Bree's living in exile, hiding withbteh Aztecs fro centuries for Hel to relent and release.Baldur.in exchange for clememcy. Bree didn't even want his death at first, either, just the barest minimum acknowledgement of wrong doing and censure out of respect for his brotherhood with Odin. Odin's a Dick and Baldur is definitely the favored son."

                  "Oh my god." Alex grimaces. "Does Yuri know?"

                  "No, Hel made me promise not to tell him, too. Which really sucks because he does know Baldur's his father. They look so much alike it's hard to miss. And they're really close. But he loved his mother and never really got along that well with Bree once he hit the teenage years, even before he figured out who his real father was."

                  "Biological father." Alex corrects her. "Bree's his real father, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

                  "Preaching to the choir, Lex." Claire sighs and snuggles with the affectionate puppy. "So where'd the dog come from?"

                  "Bree. Of course."

                   "Of course."Claire shakes her head.

                  "Have you seen Shelly yet?"

                  "Like I could avoid it. Bree's been showing her off to absolutely every one and every thing. She's all, look what I made. It's kind of cute. thor said she was just as hung over her other kids, too. They all seem really weirded out about Bree being a girl though. They're not so clear on the concept of angels not actually having a gender."          

                  "I know, Rhys just said he should have suspected given his father's skill with numbers, which I found an incredibly confusing statement until Bree explained that women were in charge of the household finances back then. He still tends to view math as some kind of witchcraft. He can't even calculate a tip. He just throws down one of the largest bills he used to pay the check with." Alex laughs.

                   "How on earth could you have dated such a dumbass. I never understood that." Claire rolls her eyes.

                   "He was sweet, and funny and romantic and didn't care about my past. And so, so hot, and he waited, semi patiently. Of course, now I know why but at the time it meant a lot. Especially as it took forever to believe that I wasn't going to wake up and find myself eaten or sacrificed to somebody or something like that first asshole." Alex sighs, not that it took dating a pagan to end up being sacrificed to one. It takes her a minute to catch her breath again. Hopefully Claire didn't notice.

                    "Men suck, you should try the other team. You might like it." Claire punches her shoulder. "I hear Freya's been kind of frisky lately."

                    "I'm good, thanks. Will you be coming back to the states soon? I know Krissy misses you. She's even been having Harahel hang around and it's a bit odd hearing her arguing with herself in enochian. They've been working on hunting down the rest of the angels. Or at least putting pressure on them to turn themselves in. Michael's offering amnesty though there's no word as to whether that includes protection against Lucifer or not, which is a very important detail. I mean, sure they can avoid him by just staying in heaven at the moment, but he can hold a grudge and will eventually get is grace back one day."

                    "Michael's offering amnesty? With everything I've heard, I would have thought he'd rip them to shreds without a second thought." Claire raises her eyebrows, conveniently forgetting that she was one of the first beneficiaries of his mercy.

                    "I know, but he wants the slate wiped clean, for everyone and is pushing for forgiveness and mercy across the board. He's already shown you mercy, by helping you, though he didn't want to." Alex reminds her. If anyone had a reason not to give two shits about Claire, it's Michael.

                    "I heard. But I also heard it was only because you asked him to, so thank you. I couldn't... I couldn't make it out on my own. You couldn't have fallen for Michael? It had to be Raphael." A fair question. It's not as if Michael isn't ridiculously attractive. He just doesn't affect her quite the same way. It's impossible to explain.

                    "The heart wants what it wants. How's life in Helheim these days?"

                    "Oh, don't even get me started."

 

                   "Unbelievable." Alex storms back into the apartment, picking up the barking puppy as she does so. "Some people just don't even...aw, who's my baby?" She coos as he gives her big wet kisses all over her face. This gets a grin out of Raphael for the first time this evening. Not that she blames him. Stupid hick cops. As soon as she finds that Super Troopers dvd again she's burning the damn thing.

                    "Don't, it's a funny movie. And actually has a non caucasian protagonist." Raphael scratches behind the puppy's ears. "Don't even think about getting rid of Hot Fuzz."

                   "Well, of course not, it has the shortest car chase scene in film history. Besides it's part of the Three Flavors Cornetto trilogy.  You can't break those up. Want to order pizza and watch Shaun of the Dead?"

                   "Yes, I'll cut up a tray of fruit and vegetables for the appetizers." he gives her a kiss, which grows into a longer kiss and pushes the thought of pizza and movies right out of her mind.

                    "Why didn't you call for me?" Michael's angry voice scares the bejeezus out of her.

                    "I didn't want you to reduce them to ash." Is Raphael's blunt and somewhat testy reply. "I heard what you did in heaven. And what you did to hell."

                    "Wait, what did you do to hell?" Alex forgets her embarassment in her curiosity and looks over to Michael who looks away a bit embarrassed at the question.

                    "I turned it into a massive pit of molten rock and unquenchable flames." Of course this just confuses her.

                    "Wasn't it already?"

                    "No. It was actually set up fairly similarly to heaven. I at least partially melted the entire infrastructure. I made it as clear as I could that I wasn't bluffing, but Demon's can be too clever for their own good sometimes. There are less of them now. Of course, I got back the remaining angel blades in the bargain." Michael smirks. "But why would you object to my protecting you from harm?"

                     "You tend to overdo things. And I like this identity. I'd rather not become the subject of a nationwide manhunt because my big sister can't control her temper." Of course that just starts an argument in enochian, which she can't help but consider a good thing. They don't really argue. Not in a 'we agree on everything' kind of way, but more of a Michael's in charge, Raphael keeps his mouth shut save for the occaisional passive agressive snark kind of way. Which is understandable given it's likely a reaction to the dynamics Michael had with Lucifer, but it's still not the best for a healthy relationship. Though she wonders if Raphael would have been quite as agressive if Michael hadn't interrupted them the way they did.

                   It ends when Michael says something in enochian that completely takes Raphael by surprise. Enough so that he has to sit down.

                   "Is everything alright?" she asks him, more than a little concerned by his reaction.

                   "Helel's offered to give Raphael his grace for as long as he needs it, however he can use it."

                   "Can... can he do that?" Alex asks nonsensically as obviously he can or he wouldn't be offering.

                   "Well, I can't use it like my own, it's too fundimentally different. We're not like the lesser angels. Our grace is unique to ourselves. We could use it to filter out the darkness, but beyond that no, it's just another empty gesture." Raphael gets up and just starts to pace a little though, heading almost towards the bedroom.

                   "We could use it to clear the darkness from your own. We might be able to retreive yours from the abyss then. It's not an empty gesture."

                   "I don't want anything from him." He doesn't quite slam the bathroom door shut behind him.

                   "Why the bathroom? Both of them." Michael frowns shaking his head. By both of them he's probably referring to Lucifer as well.

                   "Small easily defensible space with a door that locks, fresh water, first aid and sanitation?" Alex ventures, half expecting a patronizing smile from Michael but he just concedes the point.

                    "Or maybe it's been a long day and I've felt neither like using the side of the road or an open jail cell?" Comes the irritated reply from the bathroom.

                    "I'll talk to him." Alex whispers. "We were going to watch a movie and order pizza. You probably have to keep an eye on your brother unless Bree's there."

                    "I should. I know Michele is her and Sam's child, but I'm not sure how comfortable I feel letting Helel play with her so much. Though apparently he's completely enamored with his niece. Father visited him while he was imprisoned it seems, and brought Shelly over as well. I'm not completely sure the good influence on Helel is worth the potentially bad influence on Michelle."

                    "Well, as long as she's not left alone with shelly. "Alex shrugs. That was actually incredibly clever, bringing Shelly in to help break the torturous isolation and sensory deprivation, pretty much garunteed Lucifer would adore the child.

                    "Actully it's alot like watching Helel and Gabriel all over again. He's even calling her my little song, it's just plain adorable really." Michael gets kind of a soft doe eyed smile as he says it. Raphael asks a rather meek question in enochian from the bathroom which gets a medium length reply from Michael, ending with a question to which she can barely hear Raphael reply at all. "Oh for the love of all that is!"

                    "I thought I was hallucinating!"

                    "Even so why would you... even to... Damnit, Raphael!" Michael exclaims in utter exhasperation and disbelief. "Alex, talk to him!" he demands before just taking off.

                    "I really don't want to talk about this." Raphael comes back out, clearly beyond mortified.

                    "Alright. I'll order the pizza." She picks up the phone and dials. He'll talk to her when he's ready. The phone is busy. She'll call back in a few minutes. Fortunately he's ready by the time he's done chopping veggies.

                    "My father came to the hospital. I thought I was hallucinating. I'd been having very strange, vivid dreams. I... yelled at him, said some very disrepectful and angry things and told him to go fuck himself." Raphael winces at the admission.

                     "I can understand that." Alex grabs a carrot stick.

                     "You can?" 

                     "With all you've been through, of course you're a little pissed off. I'm sure, given the fact that he didn't smite you in holy wrath, he understood as well." This doesn't seem to make him feel better though.

                     "I might not have exploded like that though, if he hasn't told me that Helel asked him to download the welcome to Nightvale podcasts I missed for me. It seemed too absurd, though really only Lucifer would have the audacity to ask the lord of all creation to do something like that. But I didn't want to hear about him, or be reminded of his ever present status of favored son."

                      "He probably should have known better." Alex puts a hand on his arm. "If he's alive, then you can just apologize. I'm sure he'll forgive a few angry words that were as much for Lucifer as for him, I bet. And that's if he hasn't already."

                      "Why would he? I'm not his eldest, or his favorite, or the one who makes him laugh. Or even the one who made him proud enough to ressurect and promote repeatedly. I'm just... the failed lieutenant, faithless and broken. What value am I to him beyond my use to others? And that's gone now. He wasn't angry because I just don't matter anymore."

                       "Don't be silly. You're the most wonderful thing in all of his creation. Nothing matters more than you." It's probably a good thing she didn't get to order the pizza. Though they do have to stop and lock the puppy in the bathroom as soon as they hit the bed. He's just a bit too insistant on inserting his nose where it doesn't belong.

 

                       "I know you want your grace back." Alex crawls back into bed after freeing the puppy from the bathroom and cleaning up the mess he left.  She pulls the covers up before the dog can get too curious.

                        "I do." he confesses. "But I want to be with you and I don't want to owe that bastard anything. Those two combined make me inclined to stay as I am."

                        "I love being with you, too."She rests her head on his chest, as if listening to his heart beat. "But if it's something that won't withstand your getting your grace back, it's not worth giving it up for. I don't want you forsaking a piece of yourself for me anyways. How could I? As for owing him anything he's the one that owes you." But her voice has that cast to it that shows she's trying to detatch from the conversation. Not that anything she's saying isn't what she believes, but he can tell she's putting the focus onto him and not them.

                         "What do you want?" he asks, running his hand up and down her arm just loving the fact that he can touch her and feel nothing but that touch. This simplicity would be gone as well. Each touch becoming a glimpse into her entire being. "This affects you, too. and I care what you want."

                         "I want to be with you. More than anything, Angel or human I don't care. I wanted to share so many human things with you, you didn't get to enjoy nearly enough of the good things. You only got the worst of it so far. I want... I want you to be happy and enjoy things with me. I like falling asleep in your arms. But I don't want to keep you from being whole. I know that you don't feel right without it." She holds onto him a little tighter. "But you're also still healing. What will it do? You still felt so hopeless and worthless even with your grace, I doubt getting it back would change any of those feelings.  You'll just loose the benefits of your medication."

                          "I suppose I can't deny that's a concern." He admits. And then he'd also be affected by the moods of those around him. As much as he's able to shield himself, he can't deny that before the torture in Peru, there was this lightness in him. It was as if this great burden had suddenly been lifted from his shoulders and breifly he felt better than he had since the first civil war began. How will he fare with the added weight now that his own pain is so hard to deny.

                           "But then again, you're not exactly fulfilling your purpose, either, whether one assigned to you or by you. And that's important. I don't know. I just want you to be happy and fulfilled. Preferably with me, but if you can't be..." she just trails off.

                        "Grace or no grace, I'm not going anywhere. You're the greatest joy in my life. Why would I abandon that? Besides, there's no rush. We can try everything you want to try before I attempt to retrieve it."

                        "That sounds.." She looks up as there's a wetness by their feet. "Did he just pee on the bed?"

                        "He did."

                        "Dammit Bree. i know you could have gotten us one that was housebroken." Alex mutters as they get out of the bed. "What do you want to wash? The bed or the dog?"

                         "I'll take the dog." he goes to grab the puppy, who turns tail and flees into the living room. "Coward."

                        "We should name him Courage." Alex jokes bundling up the comforters.

                        "I don't follow." He reaches under the sofa and manages to drag the whimpering puppy out by the hind leg.

                        "Courage the cowardly dog? We have to watch that. I'll have to start making a list of programs." Alex shoves the linens into the already full laundry basket. They'll have to take it down in the morning. Well, he will, Once it's in the laundry basket, Alex just tends to forget about it until she needs it again. Like with dishes, she'll tend to not remember to wash them until she needs them. That honestly irritates him a little, but she's not nearly as bad as Michael was. He just did not pay attention to any sort of mess at all. Gabriel either.

                        "Anything that doesn't involve taste or touch, I can experience after I get my grace back just as well."

                        "Alright." She fortunately remembers to spray the mattress with the vinegar mix he made before remaking it. Courage. Well, it's a good name for a dog, along the same lines as Fido. Maybe one day in the distant future it'll be viewed similarly. But for now this dog who really looks more like a wolf cub than any breed he's aware of, is just placed in the bathtub, and quickly rinsed off with warm running water and dove soap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor crowley, a king without a kingdom.
> 
> If you're a bit miffed about my not posting more about what Raphael said to his father, please understand that he wasn't in his right mind and was very upset all around and consequently is incredibly embarassed about it. I've done enough to him already without posting that. Also, while God will forgive Raphael for saying those really kind of bad things, I'm not so sure he'd forgive me for printing it. Or at least not without some sort of divine retribution. I just got out of the hospital. I'm not eager to go back in.


	70. Full of Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael gets his grace back  
> Michael and Lucifer settle things  
> the unfortunate end of the Devil Pray saga

                  Raphael stands in front of the darkened crystal that holds his grace in the abyss. How could it get so much darkness in so few years? Was there still so much left in him when Gabriel ressurrected him? Or has he just suffered and absorbed so much? It's funny to even consider using Lucifer's grace to purify him. Using Lucifer to purify anything is just absurd. But it's not as if he has a whole lot of options.  
                  Alex puts a hand on his arm to sooth him. He's certainly nervous. Though whether it's that obvious or she just knows him that well already, he's not sure. He wants his grace back, but at the same time he doesn't. It would take so much away. Probably this body. Only he could have found the right bloodlines for vessels by sight and touch alone. So many records were lost in the plague. And record keepers lost in the wars.  He might never be able to touch her with these hands, kiss her with these lips ever again.

                  "Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam ask, the large rubber stoppered jar of Lucifer's almost liquid grace in hand. "You don't know what it'll do."

                  "I'll just use a small peice at a time." Raphael kneels down by the rock and takes out the needle. There are pinprick holes all through it, it seems, though you have to get very close to tell. There would have to be for any to drain out, he supposed. Just a small drop of grace is drawn out through the stopper, but an odd thing happens. When he puts the needle to it to inject the grace, the darkness rushes to the access point, almost thickening in it's attempt to get at it. Instead of injecting, Raphael pulls the plunger back and the needle fills with darkness. It engulfs the drop of grace completely.

                   "That's interesting." Alex leans over. "It's like the darkness is drawn to it."

                    "It is." Raphael just looks at the needle. "That was his first role, after all. To seduce the darkness." he depresses the plunger, releasing it into the air. It evaporates into the empty sky. The drop of grace in the needle has frozen, the tiniest speck of the darkness trapped within it's crystals, but most of it was held off. Freezing was a protective defense. Maybe it trapped bits of darkness within him, but it kept out so much more. The way he was made really is amazing.

                    The grace melts at his touch and he can draw off the darkness ten more times this way, until it's too overcome and won't rethaw. but it's enough. The darkness is gone from the jade cocoon, at least enough for the chrysalis to crack.  He looks to Michael to tell him to take the humans away, but he didn't need to they're already gone.

                    As he breathes it in, he can feel the grace overwhelming and shattering the human shell around him almost faster than he can rebuild it. All patchwork and duct tape, but one it's set, it's not to hard to tweak just a little bit, stretch just a little more. By keeping the metabolism running he can use it's own healing powers to augment his own, maintaining it's integrity, but it actually makes him feel slightly hungry.  He's likely no more able to taste anything, but he'll still need to eat. Maybe Gabriel's sweet tooth wasn't as much hedonistic self indulgence as she likes to make it seem. 

                     It's also incredibly dampening. Using too much of his power while confined inside and it would break apart. This will require an incredible amount of self denial, self control even just to move around. And Gabriel lived confined like this for all that time? Maybe she is even now. He knows her vessel is a tight fit.  He's always loved his sister, but he's starting to think he doesn't know her as well as he thought he did. He certainly hasn't given her enough credit. 

                    "It helps if you sacrifice two sets of wings." Gabriel appears. "And you've made yourself way too dense."

                    "I'm not sacrificing wings and what do you mean dense?"

                    It takes about an hour or two more for them to finish making adjustments. Of course there are a few unnecessary comments and suggestions from Gabriel regarding various parts of his anatomy only one of which he actually considers. But there's a limit to the changes he can make. For a moment, he was nothing but a webbing of holy fire scars and they bind him like nothing he's felt before. It's not quite painful, just tight.

                    "Are you sure you're alright like that?" Gabriel touches a scar on his wrist. It's painful but only for a second, and it's only his pain, so he can deal with it. After the second of pain, it's just numb.

                     "I'm fine."

                     "I don't like how that vessel is grabbing your wings. Can you fly?" Gabriel asks. It seems like a silly question, but the network of scars works almost like a net, trapping his wings in to his body. He can't even stretch them out, much less fly. "You can't keep this body, Raph."

                      "I don't need to fly. I can walk just fine."

                      "Hold on, let me get a better look at those scars." Gabriel pulls up Raphael's shirt, turning her gaze in various directions. "Oh, that sneaky bastard." she's almost upside down now. "These are deeper than the rest." She traces what starts to feel like a familiar pattern. An angel trap. Itztlacoliuqui drew angel traps on Raphael's body and he didn't even notice. And it forms on the innermost layer of his skin it seems. No wonder it's trapping his wings. Though, honestly, it's probably the only reason his entire body didn't disintegrate when the grace touched it. Small blessings. "We'll get these off. If you can keep yourself from healing, one strip of flesh right around here," she traces around his torso just above his belly button. "Should break all of them. Hold on, let me get a knife."

                        "Is that really necessary?"

                        "No, I could burn you with holy fire to the same depth in the same radius, but I'm fairly sure just cutting off a chunky strip would be far less painful." Which is, unfortunately true.

                         "Right." Raphael holds his power in check as Gabriel cuts the outline of a small strip across his torso. It doesn't exactly hurt except in a few key places, but the sensation is incredibly odd and he's well aware of the damage being done to the flesh.

                        "What are you two doing?" Michael would choose this time to come back and check up on them.  

                       "Itzy put a ring of angel traps under Raph's skin, the clever bastard. I'm deactivating them, so he can free his wings and fly, and, you know leave the confines of the body and return to other plains." Gabriel continues to cut. It's really kind of disturbing how comfortable she is doing this.

                       "There has to be another..." Michael starts to say but winces as Gabriel just rips the strip off. He's too used to Raphael being human most likely. Though in truth, the tears on the places with holy fire scars hurt intensely, making him curse out loud. "Way." Michael reaches out letting Raphael steady himself on his arm a bit. The holy fire scars will be a problem. But the injury is easy to heal and he can spread his wings freely again. "How did he learn to trap an archangel beyond holy fire? Gabriel." Michael looks to their sister pointedly.

                       "Don't look at me. I haven't taught that to anybody. Not even, Sam. Do I look stupid?" She scoffs. Raphael gets a sinking feeling in his stomach.

                      "I may have taught Meli." He says quietly. "I might have taught him pretty much every ward and sigil I know how to make."

                      "Oh for Dad's sake, Raph!" Gabriel covers her face. "This is why I never tell you anything. You can't even keep the most vital... Let me guess, you also let him draw some of your blood while you were possessing him, too. Didn't you?"

                      "He wanted to see if it had different properties while possessed than it did unpossessed. He was just curious, too. There was no malicious intent. We'd sort of planned to keep the relationship forever. I didn't see the harm." He tries to defend himself, but given the trouble it seems to have caused, it can't help but sound weak.

                      "Raph.." An exhasperated sigh is all that Michael gives in response to this.

                      "Okay, Sampson, whatever you say. Man, you get stupid when you're in love. I swear to all that is. It's ridiculous." Gabriel smack him with the strip of his own flesh which creeps him out so much that he can't even respond.

                      "Gabriel!" Michael sounds almost as disturbed by that at he is.

                      "Oh, whoops." She laughs looking at it, then drops it, kicking some dirt over it. Of course she would laugh, the little psycho. "No, I know, I know." She waves off their incredulous looks. "Just the look on your faces, that's all."

                      "What is wrong with you? Where Alex?"

                     "At the cross roads. You can manifest human size here, you know. You don't even need the left side of the mushroom." What on earth is she talking about? "You should show her you."

                     "What? No! Why? No."

                     "Aren't you curious as to what she'll think of you? And your wings? Shadows are sort of impressive, but you know it's not the same. Plus you can do so without causing earthquakes or ground to cloud lightening storms, which was really kind of cool. And much less damaging so kudos on figuring that one out." She gives him the thumbs up.

                    "What were you talking about earlier? About sacrificing two sets of wings?" Raphael's attention returns to that breifly glossed over, horrifying detail.

                    "Nothing. And don't change the subject. Now why don't you want to give her a peek? Are you afraid that after you do, when you're in bed with her she'll really be thinking about you instead of you?" Of all the ridiculous, twisty absurd things she could say.

                    "Do you ever speak any sense at all?"    

                    "Of course not, you should know that by now. Really, Raph." she tsks him. "At least wear your armor." She tries to change him into it, but he counters.

                    "I'm not wearing my armor! Gabriel stop it!" He twists her middle wing to push her away.

                    "Wah!"

                    Michael's just standing there, rubbing the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

                    "Both of you. Enough." He finally says when Raphael get Gabriel in a head lock.

                    "Stop trying to alter my appearance." He declares before setting her free.

                    "Jeez, fine. It's not like you aren't peacocking like hell anyway, though. You might as well break out the jeweled breastplate." Gabriel adjusts her shirt and tries to smooth back her hair, just making it poof out even further.

                    "I'm not peacocking. I like to dress well, and I always have. That's all." He protests. She just looks him over with a skeptical expression.

                    "Yeah, you wore plain professional black and white suits, not this silk periwinkle number." she tugs on his sleeve. "Not that it doesn't look fantastic, but still." Michael's expression indicates he thinks she has a point.

                     "I'm not peacocking." Raphael mutters. "This is perfectly normal, fashionable menswear."

                    "I'm going back to the cottage. I trust you two can escort your lovers home." Michael disappears without another word. of course he would head back to Lucifer, first change he gets. Not that he can really complain, it's nice not having him breathing down their necks. or accidentally interrupting moderately intimate moments with Alex.

                    "We can use this to bring back the other angels sooner." Raphael picks up the jar of grace. "We should start making plans for this."

                    "We will. Stop stalling and go see your honey."

                    "I'm not stalling." he protests, to which Gabriel just rolls her eyes and exchanges herself with Alex.

                        

                    "How'd it go?" Luci asks as he hears Michael return, turning his head to catch some sun on the on the other side of his face. the last time he forgot to do that, he had to endure a hundred two-faced jokes from Gabriel and a few not terrible ones from Raphael.

                    "Raphael has his grace back. Gabriel's teasing him about not wanting to show Alex his true self even though he can when they're in the abyss."

                     "I can understand that." Luci concedes. "Once she sees his true form, that meat suit's never going to measure up."

                     "The human form has it's charms." Michael sits down beside him. And of course he's blocking his sun. "Besides, they're in love, it makes a difference."

                    "It's a fling. I give it a year at most." Luci turns over and lifts himself up on his elbows, "Is he still mad at me?"

                    "Well, he's no longer trying to pretend you don't exist, merely wishing you didn't, so that's something." Michael looks down at him, sympathetically. "I'm sure he'll come around eventually."

                    "You know you're blocking my sun, right?"

                     "The sun belongs to everybody." Is the assinine, teasing reply.

                    "What now, Michael?" Luci tilts his head, "I assume all of heaven knows I'm on earth, and like this. All of hell too. And I doubt they're all thrilled with any of us right now."

                     "Some less so than others, but it doesn't matter. I'm not going to let anything happen to any of you again."

                      "That's great, Michael, but what about Denny? And those damn angels that tortured Raphael? Have they turned themselves in yet? Because if not, I'm not bound by anything." He reminds Michael.

                      "Denny's actually fairly happy in Helheim. Though if you want to see her, you'll really have to start buttering up to Hela. She still holds a grudge over your killing her father."

                      "Baldur's a jackass, you said so yourself." Luci snorts.

                      "I mean Gabriel. She doesn't care about Baldur, or Odin. At all. She's not as forgiving as your favorite song." Michael nudges Luci's shoulder with his leg. "If you wanted to write letters I could send them over. She's a ghost so cellphones tend to go wonky around her."

                      "Wonky?" Luci can't help but grin.

                      "It's a technical term." Michael informs him expertly, giving the barest of smiles back.

                      "Right. But that still doesn't tell me what next. What do I do? What do we do?"

                      "We could get married." of course after the initial moment of shock, Luci just bursts out laughing. "I'm not joking."

                      "I know, but I'm fairly sure that kind of utter blasphemy would cause any church we go to to spontaneously combust and the foundations sink into the bowels of the earth."  he points out. Michael just rolls his eyes.

                       "Obviously it wouldn't  be a church wedding. I don't want to provoke dad too much with this. Maybe vegas? We wouldn't be the most blasphemous abomination of a union ever produced there, I'm sure." Luci's still not entirely sure if Michael's joking or not.

                        "Dad's actually fine with it. I asked. I was thinking more along the lines of the little ones up above." He nods to heaven.

                        "Given the remaining angels all joined the side of the war which kept me trapped in the cage, they can go screw themselves. As long as there's no apocalypse, no one has any right to complain about this. Though if you do want to keep seeing Shelly, you will have to find some way to make peace with Sam. Gabriel can't keep sneaking her over to see you. She'll be talking soon and she'll let it slip." he just had to bring that up didn't he.  She's Gabriel's daughter, he doesn't see why Sam should have that much say.

                         "He's fucking my sister. I apologize for nothing. If you'd seen that closet, you wouldn't even ask it. Besides, she's a much my neice as she is his daughter. She's Gabriel's daughter, too. He can't say that she can't see me."He argues, and quite reasonably he thinks.

                         "You've tormented his body and soul and tried to murder the man, Helel. He has every right and reason not to want his daughter around you. Do you deny any of that?"

                        "No, but I haven't exactly done anything lately. I'm letting him live. I'm tolerating his relationship with Gabriel. What more do you possibly expect from me? I hate that bastard."

                          "I know, and as for what else it expected you'll have to go to him and find that out. I'd just as soon let you go see her whenever you wanted, provided you were chaperoned. I think you look adorable holding a baby." This last comment is enough to distract from the prior.

                           "The only baby worth anything is Michele. Don't even think about foisting off any other howling pudge bags of crap drool and disease. These things are unsanitary." he shudders at the thought. "Don't lump my little song in with those things."

                          "Babies are all pretty much the same, Helel." Michael doesn't even blanche at the look Luci gives him for this utter blasphemy. Why should he though? He has his grace back. He's safe and almost invulnerable now.

                        "You really want to get married?" Luci frowns unable to escape the idea for as long as he hoped he would be.

                        "Well, that's what you do when you're in love and never want to be parted again, isn't it?"

                         "I suppose. It is now anyway. But not until I've made up with Raphael. You know if he's not your best man and Gabriel's not my  matron of honor they'll never forgive either of us. But aside from that, what do we do? I guess I could become a hunter or something." Though the very title of it makes his cringe.

                        "Actually, a little matter has been brought to my attention." Michael's face darkens. "Do you remember how I told you Castiel devoured all the souls in purgatory to kill Raphael and declare himself the new god?"

                         "How could I forget?"

                         "Well, it seems he accidentally took in all the leviathan as well and they got loose. He and Dean did take out their king, but the rest are still out there."

                         "What the fuck! And for how long?"

                         "Eight years."

                         "Eight... And what, they just decided not to bother rounding the rest of them up? Does Castiel even remember that whole ordeal? How many angels we lost? Obviously not or he never would have messed with purgatory in the first place." He sits all the way up. Unbelievable. "Oh, that boy is so grounded."

                         "They said they forgot." The dark tone of his reply says very well what he thinks of that.

                         "They for... oh for the love of all that is. How do you forget hundreds of Leviathan roaming across the earth? What the hell is wrong with them?" Luci covers his face and he doesn't have his grace either.  Sure Michael can kill them and angel blades can injure them enough to turn them aside but it was his ability to freeze the waters they were in that led to their victory, and Michael knows it.

                          "My thoughts exactly. They have the Leviathan tablet, but I believe their prophet only translated a small part of it and the switch was turned off in heaven. I'll have to have Raphael go back up and turn it back on."

                          "Well, he can now that he has his grace back.  And you have your sword.  I guess we just have to find them. It's too much to hope for that they're still in the oceans." Luci looks hopefully at his brother. Michael shakes his head.

                          "No they take over, devour and duplicate humans."

                          "Oh, joy. well, if I'm going to have to go up against those things without my grace, you're going to have to start putting out. I do assume that being engaged means you'd get pissy if I went elsewhere for my physical needs."

                           "If you didn't keep picking fights with me..." Michael starts testily, but Luci just grabs his collar and pulls him into a kiss. Well, this should be a challenge at the very least.

 

THE END

                

    

          

                                                 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to end it here or it would never end. I really tried to get Raphael and Luci to reconcile but Raph's being especially stubborn and Luci's being a defensive idiot. But don't worry as I think I mentioned earlier, though maybe just in a comment reply, I really couldn't leave things like that so I started a new one to try and tie up loose ends. 'I Love Luci' 
> 
> Among the things I want to try and take care of, if my characters will cooperate; Luci and Raphael reconciling, Raphael and Claire coming to terms, Luci and Sam trying to come to terms, What the rest of heaven feels and will do about Luci being back, How they feel about Michael and Luci being a couple, etc. 
> 
> Any other loose ends in Devil's pray that I'm missing? Or even ones from the show you want addressed. I'm all up for ideas. Not planning for another 70 chapter one but not objecting to it either. Or even anything just you want to see happen.


	71. End notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author notes- 
> 
> Check out A Life of Virtue for the story of how all this became possible and I Love Luci for the continuing saga of Luci's reform and reconciliations.
> 
> Customer satisfaction survey

      So that ended up being long as hell. But so much fun. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. I'm going to bother you with another request for feedback. I know its hard to think of what to say so I'll give you a few questions to answer. If you would I'd greatly appreciate it.

1\. What was your favorite part(s) of the story? for example mine were the karaoke night chapter and the ones where lucy goes after michael plus Michael journey in the abyss.

2\. What was your least favorite part? as another example mine was The parent trap pt 2 the problem with nephilim. I feel its the clumsiest chapter and i couldnt seem to get it just right. it also lost me a subscriber, so, theres that.

3\. What was the most confusing thing about it? Was it hard to keep up with the pronouns? Was it hard to follow? Were the changing view points difficult to keep track of?

4\. Were there any parts that didnt make sense for the story, that you didnt neccessarily hate but thought didnt need to be there?

5\. Is there anything or anyone you wish there was more of? Anything you wanted to see but didnt? (I might put it into I Love Luci)

6\. Did anything in it offend or upset you or seem to cross a line?

           Answer as many or few of these as you wish, any feedback helps me grow as a writer. After all this is for you as much as it is for me and I hope to continue to create works you enjoy.

            As stated in the Summary, Im putting out two more works. I Love Luci, a continuation of this work addressing Luci's continued struggles with reforming and his attempts to reconcile with Raphael as well as the rest of heaven and earth. As its being written at the same time as the other, it wont be updated as frequently as this one was. 

A Life of Virtue chronicles Sam and Gabriel's romance as well as Cas and Dean finally getting their act together as they all work on saving Sam's soul from being banished to the empty. A good deal of that is already written so it should be published fairly steadily for a while, but will slow down after as that one requires so mich more research as they end up having to travel all over the world.

Thank you for your time and attention and whatever feedback you've given, be it a kudos or a comment or just checking back to see if there's anything new. Happy Reading.

Your Author,

Rebecca


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